Chapter 7 Friday

Lina gritted her teeth and ran along the sidewalk.Behind her came the sound of Hank's heavy footsteps, his cheap Wal-Mart sneakers thumping like a stick on an oil drum. "Run so slow?" he said, trotting ahead.She let him take the lead and watched his back.The sun was against him a little, not tanning him but baking his pale complexion red.The dark red tattoos on his arms stand out, but the skin on the back of his neck is red. His breathing sounds like panting, but when she speeds up to his side, he tries to hold his breath.His gray hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, and his chicken neck-like throat dangled back and forth with his steps.But Lina still felt that he was not in bad shape for an old man.She's seen worse.

"Here," he said. Lina followed him off the road and continued along a forest path.The soft soil under her feet eased the pain in her knees, and when the foot injury happened again, the thigh muscles no longer seemed to burn like pain.Until now, this had been the center of her life: severe pain, and getting over it.Only relying on willpower to surpass the pain of the body, forcing myself to run the entire distance.She felt so strong, so powerful, so omnipotent, like her old self again. She knew where they were going, but she couldn't help being surprised when the cemetery appeared.They ran past rows of steles, eyes straight ahead, all the way to Sibyl's grave.

Lina rested one hand on the tombstone and used it to stabilize her body while stretching her legs.The black stone tablet is cold and pleasant to the touch.Touching it was like touching Sibyl. Hank stands next to her, lifting his T-shirt to wipe the sweat from his eyes. "Really, Hank." Lina covered her eyes to avoid his blindingly white belly.There were tattoos on it too, but she didn't say anything. "It's hot," Hank said, "but I guess it's getting colder, isn't it?" Lina thought for a while, and after making sure he was talking to her instead of Sibyl, she replied, "Yes."

Hank continued talking about the weather, and Lena stood there, trying not to show her weird feelings. She looked at Sybil's tombstone.The tombstone was originally arranged by Hanke, and the inscription was also considered by him.The date was engraved with "Sybyl Mary Adams, niece, sister, friend." Lena was surprised he hadn't added "lover" for Nann Thomas.That's more like his style. "Look at this," Hank muttered, bending over the stele.Someone put a small vase with a white rose in front of the monument.In the early morning heat, the flowers have begun to wilt.

"Isn't it beautiful?" "Yeah." Lina said, but from Hank's surprised look at her, he should have said that to Xi Bier. He said, "Nan must have put it. Sybil always liked roses." Lina didn't speak.The flower may have just been placed by Nan En this morning.She must have come here early in the morning, because Lina had never met her before.Of course, Lina didn't come to visit Xi Bier's tomb every other day.She didn't come here very often at first because she couldn't walk, let alone get here all the way from home in the car.Later, because of embarrassment, she felt that Xi Bier must know what happened, and knew that she was no longer the former Lina.Lately, visiting her dead sister had always seemed weird to her.The way Hank talks to Sybil as if she's alive makes Lena uncomfortable.

Hank said, "White looks great on black, doesn't it?" "yes." The two stood there, Lina with arms folded, and Hank with his hands in his pockets, staring at the gravestone.The rose certainly stood out against the black marble.Lina never understood why people sent flowers to funeral homes.Now she finally understands that flowers are for the living to appreciate, reminding people that there is still life in the world, and people should continue to go on. Hank turned to her, waiting for her to recover. "I want to go back to Race. Maybe tomorrow." Lina nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Okay," she said, "that's fine." She had told him that Jeffrey had given her an ultimatum: talk to a therapist or go back to the police station.She hadn't said it because she didn't want Hank to make the decision for her.He was sure to take her back to Reyce and give her a job in his bar so he could watch over her.But this is not the way after all, because one day Hank will go too.He is old, he can't guard her forever, what will Lina do then? Thinking that Hank would die one day, she couldn't help but wet her eyes.She turned her head away, trying to calm herself.He quietly took out a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to her.The handkerchief had long been soaked with his sweat, and it was still warm, but she still blew her nose with it.

"I can postpone going back," he said. "No," she said, "maybe that's all right." "I could sell the bar," he said, "and get a job here," he added. "Or you can go back with me." She shook her head in refusal, and her tears were involuntary again.She couldn't tell him that she was upset that one day he would die, not that he was going back to Lacey.The thought was terrible.Besides, what she really needed was the peace of mind that she could find him every time she picked up the phone.This is Lina's only request to Hank.In fact, it was the only thing he had ever given her.

Hank coughed lightly and said, "You are always so strong, Lily." She laughed because she had never felt more vulnerable in her life. "For Sybil, I know she needs me, needs me to hold her hand every step of the way." He paused, looking back at the arbor of a recent funeral. "You're different. You don't need me at all." "Hard to say." "It was," he continued. "You've always been your own way. Dropped school, went to the police academy, moved here, and you didn't tell me until you did it." Lina felt that there was something she had to say clearly, but she couldn't remember what it was.

"Anyway." He took the handkerchief back.She watched him fold it up. "I'll go back tomorrow." "Okay." She nodded, turning her back to Sibyl's tomb. "You should be here for a while," Hank said. "The girl was found, but I'm sure there must be more children involved in this area. These people are not as lonely as you think .” "Indeed." Lina agreed, "They are very active." "Fortunately, the girl is fine." Hank said again, "Your chief found her." "Yeah." Lina said, but couldn't feel relieved.What happened to Leahy in that room?What kind of memory will she carry through her life?Would she even be able to bear it, or would she choose to kill herself like her brother?Lina knew from her own experience how tempting it was to be able to stop thinking about those things.Despite all that, it's hard to say if tomorrow she'll suddenly decide to drop everything.

Hank said, "I'm sorry I keep making you talk to Reverend Vann. No one thought it was going to happen." Lina accepted his apology calmly. "Brad was a cop, he didn't even think about it," she said.Of course, if Hank knew Brad, he'd understand that this wasn't much consolation. Hank tucked the handkerchief back into his trouser pocket.His hands were hanging by his sides, and the back of his hand lightly brushed hers.Like Lina, his hands were sticky, and a warmth came from his skin. After a moment, he said, "If you need me, you can call me, okay? You know I'll be there anytime." Lina smiled, this time sincerely. "Got it, Hank," she said, "I know." Lina walked through the hospital, trying to breathe through her mouth to keep the smell from entering her body.The building smelled like a mixture of urine and alcohol.Reminds her of Hank's Bar. She pressed the elevator button and slowly climbed claustrophobically to the third floor.Her neck was wet and sticky, and she wiped it away.She had showered thoroughly after jogging with Hank, but was sweating hot again. When the elevator door opened, Lina breathed a sigh of relief, the smell of urine finally no longer invaded her nostrils.Compared with the patients on the lower floors, most of the patients on Mark's floor have urinary catheters inserted and are often sterilized, so there is less odor. She entered the corridor and looked out from the window opposite the elevator.The clouds were dark and dense, impregnated with rain, and seemed impatient to fall.She thought of the morning Grace died, standing behind sleeping Teddy, watching the sun come up, thinking that the monster lying in bed would never feel the joy of the sun on his cheek again.Lina has no regrets about letting Grace die in guilt.She knew it was the right thing to do.There was no doubt in her mind. "What's the matter?" a woman asked when she came to the nursing station. "I'm looking for Mark Paterson," Lina said. "Oh," the woman said, looking surprised. "He never had visitors." Lina had expected that Teddy would not come to visit his son, but she was still quite surprised. Knowing the answer, Lina still asked. "Is he sober?" The woman shook her head and said, "No." Then pointed to the hallway. "Ward 310," she said. "Turn right, then left, across from the linen closet." Lina thanked her and followed her instructions to move forward.As she walked, she slid her fingers across the railing in the corridor, deliberately delaying time.Lina has no reason to see Mark.This case is not her responsibility.To be honest, she wasn't even sure if she was still a cop. Although it was impossible for Mark to ask her to come in, she knocked on the door of Ward 310.She went in and left the door open.There was no light in the room, and no one had opened the shutters to let in light.Mark was lying on the bed, fully infused with tubes, horribly pale.The sound of the equipment running slowly echoed in the room, and a full urine bag hung down from the fence beside the hospital bed.The room looked very cold and formal.There were no flowers on the bedside table, and the single chair against the wall was never occupied.The TV was turned on, and the dark screen carried an ominous atmosphere. "Let's open the window a little." Lina couldn't think of anything else to do.She turned the shutter lever, and the blades opened, letting in light.She looked back at Mark, adjusting the blades so that the bright light didn't fall on his face. He had a breathing tube stuck in his mouth, with saliva coming out all around him.Lina went to the bathroom, soaked a towel in warm water, and returned to the bed to wipe Mark's mouth.Then she started doing the one thing she was grateful for when she was in the hospital herself.She folded the towel and began to wipe his face, neck and arms.Then she took out a bottle of lotion from the unopened patient care bag on the shelf next to the bed, poured some out, warmed it in the palm of her hand, rubbed it on his arms and neck, and patted a little on his face.Lina wasn't sure, but when she finished, his complexion seemed a little rosier. "Looks like they've been nice to you," Lina said, though she wasn't sure. "I..." she said, stopping suddenly.She looked at the door and thought, It's stupid to talk to Mark like that, and he can't hear, and it's any different from Hank talking to Sybil's grave. But she still held his hand. "Leahy's all right," she said. "She's back. They found her in Macon, she..." Lina looked around the room, not knowing what to do. "They're watching the post office box," she added. "The chief thinks Dotty will show up soon." Lina took a deep breath and held it in for a while before letting it out slowly. "We'll get her, Mark. She won't get away." She fell silent, listening to the sound of his breathing as the machine pumped air into his lungs.Mark didn't respond, that's for sure, and again she felt stupid for doing so.Why did Hank talk to Sybil?What's the use of talking so much to her?It's like talking into the air.Just talking to himself. Lina laughed, understanding why Hank did what he did.It's the ultimate freedom to speak to someone who can't respond to you, who can't use their voice to express their thoughts or disapproval or resentment.You can say whatever you like without worrying about the other person's reaction. "I don't know if I can still be a cop," she told Mark.As soon as these words came out, she suddenly felt a little dizzy.In fact, this idea has been spinning in her head like a child playing with marbles in a maze, but it is only now that she finally faces the fact. "I have to talk to the director in a few days." She paused, looking at the tattoo on Mark's hand.She suddenly thought about how to help him get rid of this tattoo.There are ways to remove this thing.She had seen such commercials on TV. "I don't know how to talk to the director." Lina said, still feeling weird. "I talked to Hank. I know I can go back to Lace with him." She paused. "But it's hard to say. I don't know if I should go back." Lina noticed that his blanket was loose and went around the bunk and tucked it back.She stroked the blanket and said, "Anyway, I don't want Sybil to be left alone in town. I know Nan will take care of her, but..." Lina paced the room, thinking about what to say.Hearing his own voice echoing in the room felt very abrupt.But speaking out of these things that have been backlogged in my heart for a long time is really much more comfortable. She moved the chair to the bed, its legs creaking across the floor.She sat down and shook Mark's hand again. "What I want to say is—" she began, but couldn't continue.Finally, she forced herself to speak. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry I had that reaction when you told me that..." She paused, as if waiting for a response, before adding, "I mean you and your Mother……" Lina looked at his face. "I want to tell you that I understand. I mean, I try to understand." She shook her head. "I mean..." she began, then paused. "I know how much courage it took, Mark. I know how much courage it took you to tell me that secret." She paused, suddenly remembering to breathe. "You're right, I've been through the same thing, and I can understand how you feel." She looked up at him again, but he was still silent.His chest heaved with the instrument that forced him to breathe.The heartbeat monitor beeped along with his heart. "I didn't expect it to be this hard," she whispered. "I thought I was strong..." She paused again. "You're right, I'm a coward. I'm a coward." Lina took a deep breath and held it until her lungs were about to burst.She felt that the room was getting smaller and smaller, and suddenly, she returned to that dark place, paralyzed on the ground, and he was in a corner of the house, when she didn't exist.Worst of all, as the drug wore off, she began to understand where she was and what had happened, and that she was alone.She felt her chest being compressed, as if someone had hollowed out her lungs and injected a dark solitude.When she went to that place, that empty and desolate place, the light under the door became her salvation, and she found that she wanted to see him and hear his voice no matter the cost. "I was so scared," she told Mark. "I don't know where I am, how much time has passed, what happened." Her throat tightened for a while, and her whole body was overwhelmed by memories. "He pinned me to the floor," she said to Mark, though he should have known. "He nailed me so hard I couldn't move. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't do anything but wait and let him do what he wanted." Lina's breathing became rapid and she felt like she was back in that room again, trapped and completely helpless. "Drugs..." She paused as she spoke, thinking that Mark must have used drugs to anesthetize herself.The difference was that Lina never got a chance to choose which medicine to take or when to take it. "He put me on some drugs," she said. "Those drugs make me feel..." She searched for the right words. "Very free," she said. "Light, above everything. My boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—Greg was there." She paused again, thinking of Greg in her hallucinatory dream, not her. The one I know.In her vision, Grey became much more confident and more active in their sexual relationship.In her dream, he teased her as much as he could, teasing her to the limit, so that she could no longer distinguish between pain and pleasure, and she no longer wanted to know.In that state, she just wanted him inside her, touching her, filling her, pushing until she thought he was going to burst.In the end, when we reached this state, it was like a fairyland when we were liberated.She showed herself to him without reservation, and the joy she experienced was unprecedented. She said to Mark, "Greg is not like that. I know. I know it." She squeezed Mark's hand. "I know that, but I don't care. I just want to be with him. I just want to be close to him." She put her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. "Then, the effect wears off," she said, feeling like she was telling someone else's story. "I'm starting to feel it. I'm starting to understand what happened and who I am." She swallowed hard. "And what did I do with him." Lina felt her stomach churning. "And the sound I made," she whispered, remembering everything, how she had responded to him, how she had begged him like a lover. Her hands fell on her chest, and her heart was beating wildly. "Then I cried." Tears trickled down her cheeks. "I cried because I hated myself, and I cried and cried because I felt so alone." She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I cry because I don't want to be alone and know what happened." "And when he came back to me..." she said softly, "When he came back to the room, I finally had a companion..." Lina had to pause to avoid shock from hyperventilating.She looked at Mark's hand, reaching out to stroke the tattoo. Mark's confession flooded into Lina's mind like a flood, and at this moment she finally heard what she dared not face in the trailer.He recounts his crimes like a lover reminiscing about a passionate love affair.Lina repeatedly replayed every sentence he said in her mind, and finally understood why he wanted to imprint that tattoo on her body.She knew Mark was carrying guilt like an anvil.A part of him will always belong to his mother.Always back in the trailer, listening to CDs, having his mother come into the room and rape him.A part of him would always remember how good it felt to be inside her, even if it was brief.No matter where he goes or what he does, Mark will always have this imprint on his heart.And this tattoo is only for people to see.Mark used this method to tell everyone that he did not belong to them, but only his mother forever.What she had done to him, etched in his mind, could never be carved on his skin with needle or ink. All his life, including this moment perhaps, though he was imprisoned in this body, Mark would never forget that he had loved that feeling.There was a moment when he was the person his mother loved the most, and that was perhaps the first time in his life that he experienced what he thought was love.Grace Patterson made her son feel loved in a very sick, twisted way, and he loved her back, even though he still hated her for doing such a fallacious thing. There was silence in the room, only the sound of the instrument came to Lina's ears.She heard a sharp moan, but knew it was only in her head.She would have liked to get up and leave Mark, to leave him in bed to die, because it made no difference whether she was with him or not. But she said so much.No one stopped her, no one questioned how crazy what she said was.Lina was alone in the room, and if Mark was there, if he was actually there with her, listening to her, then he was probably the only person in the world who understood what she was talking about. "I was so alone when he left me there," Lina said, her voice rough.She forced herself to go back to that horrible room.She gritted her teeth, not sure if she should continue.It was that part that made her cringe, and it was actually what kept her from talking to a therapist, or telling anyone what happened in that room, for four months. "When he comes back, back in the room, and I'm no longer alone..." Lina choked up.She just couldn't say it.She couldn't tell this to anyone, not even to Mark, not even to this hollow shell that wasn't Mark anymore.She is not strong enough.She cannot overcome this obstacle. "Damn it," Lina yelled, trying not to break down.She was trembling all over, crying out of shape.If Mark had felt, he would have found her hands trembling, her body imprisoned in a prison of terror.He would understand how her pain had touched the corners of her heart that no one could penetrate.No drug could make her forget, not even a bullet through the brain would clear it out, and Lina knew that if she did do it, did pull the trigger, swallowed all the pills, the last thought left in her mind would be It's still him. "No." Lina shook her head violently back and forth. "No, no, no," she cried, remembering what Nan had said, and what Sybil would have said if she were here. "Be strong," Lina said for Sibyl. "Be stronger." Lena thought of Hank again, sitting on the floor of her room crying, just like she was now. "Stay with me when he comes back to the room." Lina forced herself to speak his name. "When he's back with me," she repeats, "a part of me feels more at ease." She pauses, knowing that's still not true.She could tell Mark because he understood.He understood that a person can be empty to the extent that you take what others give you.He knew the loneliness of being locked in a dark room, unable to do anything but wait.He understands that there are times when your will tells you it's wrong, but your flesh betrays you, desperate for a little comfort. She swallowed, and spoke again. "When he came back into the room," she said, "a part of me felt ... happy." In the back room of the children's hospital, Sarah and Lexie Patterson sat across from each other.Lexi had only come to her for help a few days ago, and now, after an unspeakable experience, she was back, and all Sarah could do was listen to the girl. "Dotty left you at the Wayne's house?" Sarah said. "Yeah." Lexi looked down at the shoes.For some reason, she asked to sit on the floor, and Sarah, trying to make the girl feel as comfortable as possible, of course agreed.She didn't want Sarah close to her, so in the end they decided to have Sarah sit a foot away, with her back against the closed door.Leahy sat in the middle of the room. "I was on my pills and I was sleepy," Leahy said. "So you don't remember what happened and you woke up in the hospital?" She nodded, then began to bite her fingernails.Time passed by, and the little girl kept biting her thumbnail and playing with her fingers until Sarah stopped her. "You'll hurt yourself," Sarah said.But from Lexi's expression, it can be seen how stupid this warning is. Lacey continued to bite his nails. "Will Mark be all right?" "I don't know, dear." Leahy was tearful, but not crying. "I didn't mean to hurt him," she said. "How did you hurt him?" "He came to grab me again, so I picked up the knife." "You caused his wound?" She nodded and bit another finger instead. "They're at Dotty's. They take everything out and paint the walls. I hide, but Mark finds out. I kick him in the head." She took her finger out of her mouth. "Mark won't allow me to come here to see you. I was going to say goodbye, but I got too scared and became uncomfortable. I'm sorry." "It's okay," Sarah reassured her. "So you came and Mark came after you? Then you ran off and Dotty took you away in that black car?" Lexi nodded, but still refused to say who was driving the car.She asked, "Do you think he committed suicide because of this? Because I hit him?" "No." Sarah said firmly, "I think Mark has a lot of other troubles that make him think this is the only solution." "Can I see him?" she asked quietly. "if you are willing to." "I would." Sarah leaned against the door, watching the girl bite her finger.Leahy's hair is so short that it almost touches his scalp.Perhaps Dotty disguised her as a boy on purpose for a while, and then resold her at a high price when the time came. "Will my dad be home soon?" Leahy asked. "You really want to see him?" "He doesn't know," she said, as if reading Sarah's mind. "I know about Mark and Mom, but Dad doesn't." "you sure?" She nodded. "If he knew, it would be no wonder he didn't kill Mark." "What about you, honey?" Sarah asked, "Did Mark touch you?" She looks away. "Lexie?" She shook her head violently, but Sarah didn't believe her.She still had something to hide about Mark. On the one hand, he was a victim, but on the other hand, he was obviously a perpetrator. "Mark was so nice to me," Leahy said. Sarah stopped asking. "Did Dottie ever take a picture of you?" "No," she said, "but both Mark and Jenny did. They did some pictures and they did film. I've seen them do film." "But you haven't done it?" Lacey covered her mouth. "Mark said if he found out I was filming that stuff, he was going to tell Dad." "Mark doesn't want you to do that?" "But I would like to," she said with childish willfulness. "Jenny does it a lot, and she goes to parties and does it with a lot of boys." "Did you see Jenny doing it happily?" "I tried once, but Mark found out." Her hands dropped to her lap. "That's why he hit me." Sarah thought about it.It never occurred to her that Mark would try to protect his sister. "That's when Mark got arrested, right?" Leahy seemed surprised that Sarah knew this. "Yes indeed." "But he didn't tell your father?" "I told him that if he dared to tell Dad, I would tell about his relationship with Mom." She said "he and mom" so smoothly that she seemed to practice it.Sarah could imagine Leahy using this as a threat more than once.She was a child at heart, and most kids would do anything to get themselves out of it. "I don't like it anyway," Leahy said. "I told Mark I didn't want to do it again. I didn't like it." She frowned. "That's when Dottie gets fierce. It's not like when we play together." "You play with her?" "She's our babysitter sometimes," Leahy said with a laugh. "She used to make us play a game where we all put on formal clothes, and then she took us to the movies, all dressed up." "It's fun." "But sometimes it's different." Lexie began to pinch a scab on her leg. "She can be fierce sometimes. I don't like it very much." "It's not your fault," Sarah said. "Did she ever tell you about purity?" Lacey looked up sharply. "Who told you that?" Sarah decides to lie. "Mark said." Lacey shook his head. "There's no way he's going to tell you that." "are you sure?" She shrugged, but Sarah could tell she wasn't sure. "Dottie was mad at Jenny because Jenny was obsessed with that." "Obsessed about what?" "Something they did to little girls," she said vaguely. "Jenny wrote a report last year about some tribes in Africa. She said the women there are lucky because they belong to someone else, to their daddy or husband, and as long as they don't make mistakes, they're not in danger." "Do you believe such things, Leahy?" She ignored Sarah's question. "Dottie's mad because Jenny won't stop. Not even my mother can persuade her." She turned her head away. "Mom can often make people do things they don't want to do. She's good at that." Sarah took a deep breath, trying to process the child's revelation.She asked, "Your mother and Dottie told Jenny to stop talking about circumcision?" "They were worried she'd get in trouble at school. They've had to move before because of that. A school counselor came to the house. Dottie said he was going to call the police because of what Jenny said." "About the removal of the girl's organs?" Sarah had a hard time imagining a girl fascinated by the removal of her sex organs. "Jenny says there are some things women don't have to worry about..." She paused, then added, "Like sex stuff. And stuff like Dotty's doing. It doesn't happen there because the kids are very Holy. Girls are protected." "Why did Dotty circumcise her, Leahy?" "She didn't," Leahy said. "After the Christmas trip, Jenny decided to do it herself." Sarah shook her head in disbelief. "She couldn't have done that by herself, honey." "Really." Lexi insisted. "She used the razor, but she kept screaming, and Dotty ran upstairs and started screaming too." "You were there then?" "I was downstairs with my mother because the salary was paid that day." Sarah thought it was no surprise that these women had fixed paydays, because they were serious about running their sick businesses.They've been doing it for thirteen years and know exactly what they're doing. "Jenny was screaming so loud she was dying," Leahy said. "Mom came downstairs and told me what Jenny did." Sarah nodded for her to continue because she didn't know what to say. "They couldn't take her to the hospital, so Mom said the only thing they could do was get it done..." Leahy paused. "So, they did it." "Did they anesthetize her first?" Sarah asked. "Mom gave her a little medicine to keep her from getting an infection." "That's not what I meant," Sarah said. "Did they put her in a coma before removing her organs? Or put her to sleep first so she wouldn't feel the pain?" "She seemed to be falling asleep when they started," Leahy replied. "She stopped screaming anyway." Sarah bit her lip, trying to figure out how to respond.She asked, "Why would Jenny do this?" "When we went skiing, Carson and Lori used to tease her like she wanted to go out with them, but she didn't want to." "Go out with them, do you mean go to bed?" She nodded. "She said she didn't want it, said they weren't clean. They got mad at her, called her a scum, and she didn't know why, but then Cooper told her she hadn't done it before, so she went with Mark to their house." She shrugged. "Mark put something in her drink and made her do weird things and not remember anything." "Do you know what was put there?" "Something that'll make you sick as hell the next day," Leahy replied. "She had a stomachache and took two days off from school, and Dottie said she just had a cold." FM2, Sarah thought, date rape pills. Leahy continued, "She wanted to do it anyway. Mark said those drugs just made people do what they wanted to do." "It's not like that," Sarah said, "especially not the medicine he put her on." Leahy shrugged like it didn't matter. "Anyway she likes Cooper Barrett." "Did he go to ski fellowship?" Sarah asked. "He, Lori, and Carson were all in," she said. "They slipped a note under the hotel door, and the next morning we found someone had written something very nasty on the door number." She looked up Look at Sarah. "I guess they stole things from her school locker as well." "what?" "Pictures and stuff. They tore them to shreds, and then she didn't dare put anything in there but books." "I guess she must be very sad." Leahy shrugged, but Sarah could see it bothered her. "Why do you think Mark did this to her?" Sarah asked. "Dottie asked him to take Jenny to the party?" Leahy nodded.Sara stroked her belly, imagining Mark pimping Jenny to recruit more children for Dotty. "Jenny was mad they kept harassing her," Leahy said. "Dottie asked Jenny to go out with them again so they wouldn't bother her anymore, but Jenny wouldn't. She said she wanted to stay pure." "That's why she cuts her own private parts?" Sarah asked. Leahy said, "She started it, and Dotty helped her finish it." Leahy started to scab again.Sarah watched her bite until she bled. Sarah took a tissue from her pocket and wiped the blood from the girl's leg.She asked, "Did you see what Dotty did to Jenny that night?" She still shook her head. "They won't let me talk to her." "why?" "Because mother forbids it." She lowered her head and lifted the scab again as she spoke. "Mum said if I talked to Jenny again she'd make Dotty do the same to me." She pointed to the hem of her skirt. "Down there." "Is your mother mad at Jenny, too?" Lexi lowered her head, her voice was vague.莎拉非常仔细的聆听。 “妈妈说马克曾经和珍妮在一起，说那是不对的。珍妮疯了，因此对自己做出那种事。”她顿了下。 “小孩子只能跟大人在一起，因为大人知道自己在做什么，小孩子不懂。” “你确定你爸爸什么都不知道？” 她又摇头，嘴唇紧抿成一直线。 “不然他早就杀了马克了。” “难道他不会也对你母亲生气？”莎拉决定稍微催促她一下。 “难道你不觉得他也会对你母亲怀孕的事发怒？” 莱希抬头。 "how do you know?" “我知道的事可多呢。”莎拉对女孩说。 “她怀孕都是马克的错。”莱希说。那熟练的语调再度让莎拉一震。这显然是大人灌输给这孩子的观念。 “妈妈病又发作的时候告诉爹地，她不能跟他在一起了。所以她才知道是马克的。” 莎拉又倒抽了口冷气。她真的开始怀疑，他们或许永远都不可能知道那婴儿的父亲究竟是谁了。 “上周六，”莎拉又问，“发生了什么事？” “妈妈到溜冰场去找马克，然后突然很不舒服。” “怎么个不舒服？”莎拉问。 莱希低头看着她的腿。 “她开车到那里找马克，觉得非常不舒服，就到盥洗室去。” 莎拉回想着葛蕾丝·派特森的体格。她是个娇小的女人，黛莎很可能把她错看成十几岁的女孩。 莎拉问，“你跟着她进了盥洗室？” 莱希点头。 “然后珍妮也进去了？” “她看见我们进去。” “接着发生了什么事？” 莱希长长叹了口气。 “婴儿从她两腿中间跑了出来，她流了好多的血……”她停顿，仍然没抬头看莎拉。 “妈妈说，葛蕾丝吃的治疗癌症的药让婴儿生病了，她们必须把它处理掉。” 莎拉用力呑咽着。 “她们要我在车上等着，她和珍妮在里面处理婴儿。” “她为什么让珍妮留下？” “为了惩罚她。因为这一切都是珍妮造成的。要是一开始她没有跟马克在一起，妈妈就不必那么做了。” 莎拉往后靠着门板，不知道该说什么。她很诧异葛蕾丝和朵蒂对这些孩子的影响力竟然如此巨大。莎拉经常和她们见面，竟然没察觉出有任何异状，这点她永远无法原谅自己。 莱希先取得她的注意，然后说，“妈妈告诉珍妮说，要是她不留下来帮忙，她就把珍妮做的那些事全部告诉你。” “我？”莎拉难掩错愕的说。 “珍妮很想和你一样，当小儿科医生。”女孩说，“她觉得，要是你知道她和那么多人上床，一定不会帮她。”她说这话时那熟练的语气又回来了。 “'如果你不帮我，我就告诉林顿医生你是个贱货。'” 莎拉非常惊骇她的名字竟然被拿来恐吓小孩子。 “不是这样的。”莎拉激动的说，“根本不是这样的。” 莱希不在乎似的耸耸肩。 莎拉很想把她摇醒。 “我会尽一切努力帮助她的，莱希。就像我会尽一切努力帮助你。” “我已经不需要帮助了。”莱希说，那语气像是在暗示一切都太迟了。 莎拉气愤得眼眶含泪。她替那婴儿验了尸。她很清楚葛蕾丝和珍妮对那可怜的孩子动了什么手脚。想到珍妮因为害怕莎拉知道她的事而同意下此毒手，让莎拉喉间一阵苦涩。 “妈妈经常这么说，”莱希说，“珍妮希望你认为她是个好人。” 莎拉抚着喉咙。 “她本来就是好人。” 莱希低头看着地板。 “无所谓啦。” “珍妮的遭遇太凄惨了。那不是她的错。” 莱希还是耸着肩膀。 “亲爱的。”莎拉努力用抚慰的语气说。她伸手去握莱希的手，但女孩把手缩了回去。 莎拉静待了会儿，然后问，“你认为，珍妮为什么威胁着要杀马克？” 莱希耸耸肩，但是莎拉看得出来她知道答案。 “是不是因为她不想继续？” 她又耸肩。 “你想她会不会认为只有这办法，只有拿枪对着马克，才能阻止这事继续下去？只有让自己……”莎拉停顿，感觉胸口无比沉重。珍妮知道自己到头来会躺在验尸台上。她故意让杰佛瑞开枪，来迫使莎拉看见发生在她身上的事。 莱希抬头，面无表情的说。 “珍妮没这么天真。”她说，“她知道那些事永远都不可能停止。” 莎拉思索着该如何回应，心中却害怕极了这女孩说的是事实。 “我们会在朵蒂故技重施之前逮到她的，莱希。我保证我们会尽一切力量来阻止她。” “是啊……”她耸耸肩，好像莎拉说的是梦话。她说，“我爹快来了吗？我好想回家。” “莱希。”莎拉开口，却不知道该说什么。 女孩抬头，眼里闪着泪光。过去这几天里，她老了许多。她不再是个无忧无虑、担心的只是自己是否能把啦啦队带领好的小女孩。凌虐她的那些人都已经离去，然而她们造成的伤害将永远留在她心中。莎拉看着她，感觉这辈子从未有过的沮丧。她很想做些什么，想扶她一把，可是她知道已经太迟了。她还知道曾经有许许多多和莱希一样的孩子——而且未来还会有更多孩子——落入朵蒂·威佛的陷阱。 莱希用手背唏哩呼噜擦着鼻涕。她朝莎拉挤出一丝微笑，再问，“我爹快来了吗？我好想回家。”