Chapter 21 final chapter dim light

(Finally, that's it, Sagano-kun) At that moment, a strong dizziness hit me.The loss of balance, as if the world had turned upside down, was still fresh in my memory just before.Then, while I couldn't help closing my eyes, it was this hoarse voice that came from my ears. Two or three steps back, I opened my eyes in extreme panic.Looking back in a panic, there was no one there, only the deep shadows under the night.At this time, the crashing sound of the waves continued to reverberate there as if to completely erase the sound that was still in the ears just now. "Saki?" She tried to call out the name, but no one responded.The voice of "Hey?" called out between hesitation also disappeared in nothingness.In the raging wind that blows like a beating, I finally feel it.

"here it is……" Dongxunfang. There was almost no confusion like "It was obvious that I was still near the banks of the Asano River just now".Because for me, this is the second experience. "are you back?" Or in other words, have you been 'sent back' back? He took out his phone from his pocket, the date was, and it showed that today is Monday.It was so dark in the thicket of the pine forest that nothing could be discerned in it.No one can be seen, the narrow road and bare rocks, the mood under the dark night where even the moon cannot be seen, is in this landscape like a barren border, numbly sluggish, and then unconscious For a while, it seemed that he understood the true meaning of these three days.

What is it that I deeply understand, and why I was suddenly pulled back to the edge of this sea cliff when I realized it. ...Including that hoarse voice like a hallucination, it is also the answer to what expectations I have for me. I covered my face with my slightly trembling right hand. How cruel, I thought. After showing me Saki's world, he sent me back.What is the meaning of this, and what will be the meaning of it after that, I also understand.From now on, I am afraid that I will no longer be able to fully accept any misfortune that has happened to me or to the people around me.Almost always, "If it's Saki, I can avoid it, it's because of me that it became like this" self-criticism never stops in my body.

To put it lightly, it's a curse.Or, is this a punishment? I just, couldn't help feeling terrified.Whether it's the reverberation of the raging waves that can be felt on the skin, the cold wind that seems to cut off the ears, or the figure that lurks in the shadows among the pine forests, These all terrified me, but the most frightening thing for me now was the winding parade walk.I can't help but feel dread at the thought of just going back to my life through this trail.A long life of one year, five years, ten years, or even fifty years, and the regrets filled in it, floated in my heart, making me feel like I can't breathe.Compared with these, the dark sea in front of the iron chain is indeed an incomparable liberation for me.The palm that covered the face gradually exerted force, leaving nail marks on the forehead.I started walking, dragging my footsteps in my worn-out sneakers.The phrase "the bottleneck is the part that must be eliminated first" and "the part that must be eliminated" keeps recurring in my mind.

If these three days are a kind of punishment for me, then this sea cliff must be the execution ground.As such a place, it is simply appropriate.From between the fingers, you can see the black tide as if soaked in ink.I slowly approached the place where the petals were cast the day before yesterday, and the place where Xi fell two years ago. ...But, why is she the one who punished me? My mobile phone, which was about to step over the iron chain, suddenly made an explosive and piercing sound. In the dimness, the faint glimmer of the mobile phone screen emerges.The mobile phone that had been silent for three days finally received a signal at this time.I didn't have any impression of the number displayed above. The moment when my heart had already fallen into the sea was suddenly interrupted. For a moment, I seemed to have the illusion of waking up from a dream.

My footsteps stopped in front of the iron chain.Press the call button, and there is a sound from the other end of the microphone. It was a crisp sound. "Mr. Liang." "..." "Listen, thinking knows no bounds, and neither do you—just imagine! What does that girl really want?" "It's useless." I murmured: "It's useless, Saki. I can't imagine it at all, I just accept it all, you know it, but now I can't even accept it." However, the voice on the other end of the phone was suddenly a little distant. "wrong" "It's nothing wrong, I don't want to hear your voice anymore."

Answer, as far as it sounds from the edge of infinity. "No, I'm not Saki. I'm Ru....Imagine, what you couldn't do yesterday, you can't know today. If you say this is wrong, then you are not ours..." "……etc." "Think about that ginkgo tree." However, the phone, as if there had never been such a call, fell silent inadvertently. Then I thought about it.Something about the ginkgo tree. Before 'she' wanted to become me, she had looked forward to death like a child's play. That refers to the matter of the old lady who forbids others to cut down the ginkgo tree.Facing the old lady, the girl said the phrase 'Go to hell'.I was initially put off by this.But, I was wrong.

Even if it's self-righteousness like 'I know everything about her', all of which I made a mistake, at least what she wanted to express at that time, I think I still understand now. Out of cherishing the memories, the old lady didn't want the tree to be cut down.That girl shouldn't have any interest in this matter itself, what she cursed was that the old lady refused money because of it. ... This is the time when she needs money, very, very much, she wants it so much.As long as she has money, her family will not fall apart, and she herself does not have to imitate anyone to live.But no matter how much she desires, money will never flow into her hands in vain.She doesn't use that ability.However, the ginkgo tree in front of me stood there as a kind of evidence that the old lady refused a large sum of money.So, that's when she uttered the curse 'go to hell'.

Was it the same reason, then, that she punished me, cursed me, even dragged me back to the edge of the night sea cliff? Because I also rejected what she has always wanted but never been able to get. So, therefore she made such a curse on me? ... From among the pine forests, in the gaps of the wind, and from across the sea, I can always feel a pair of eyes watching me.She was looking at the figure of me holding the iron chain and making it sway in mid-air.What she has lost is indeed something that I have not cherished properly in the past two years, no, it should be a longer period of time, from birth until now, and let it flow in vain and ignore it.

But... until now, how can I redeem it now! There is a dark sea and a winding path in front of you, and there are only two choices left here, whether to end in disappointment or continue in despair.No matter which one I choose, it can only be a painful punishment for me. I don't feel like I can make either choice, and I really want someone to help me decide.What broke the silence was the ringing of the phone. This time it's a message.After I saw it, I showed a slight smile. Zhiliang: If you just want to embarrass me, then there is no need to come back.