Chapter 13 1. Assassin's height

The matter of the Huns finally came to an end.Liu Bang, who was made a big head by the Huns, is now ready to relax, and it is his turn to punish others.After the two Koreas, the third downfall was Lu Zhi's only son-in-law—Zhang Ao. Anyone who punishes people must have an excuse.First of all, some idlers came to report that King Zhao conspired to assassinate Liu Bang.Liu Bang was so angry that he arrested King Zhao and all the people in King Zhao's circle, and tortured them severely. The fact is that there were assassinations, but Zhang Ao did not do them.After all, Zhang Ao was just being taken advantage of. To understand the ins and outs of this matter, one has to start with the heavy snowfall the year before last.

The year before last, that is, 200 BC, December. We know that that winter was one of the most depressing and difficult for Liu Bang. Bai Deng was besieged and almost died.After the siege was cleared, the class teacher returned to the court, just passing by the gate of Zhang Ao in Zhao Guo, and stayed as a guest by the way.It is said that it is a guest, but it is actually an evil host.Zhang Ao entertained Liu Bang as a son-in-law, and personally served food and water, but Liu Bang still did not change his habit of cursing others like a slave, and scolded Zhang Ao bloody. In Liu Bang's view, the reason why Zhang Ao is today is all because of having a good father and a good mother-in-law: Zhao Guo was left to him by Zhang Er, but his mother-in-law won the credit for him.Prior to Liu Bang's rewards for meritorious deeds, Xiao He ranked first, Cao Shen second, and Zhang Ao third.This third place was exactly what Aunt Lu Zhi strongly asked Liu Bang to reward.

As for how Liu Bang scolded Zhang Ao, there is no record in history.But according to Liu Bang's mood at that time, we can imagine it like this: Boy, don't fucking think that you are my son-in-law, so I can't scold you; don't think that I don't want to kick you if you lie around me like a dog; don't even think that I'm being besieged by Modun After a pause, come back and fire at you.wrong!The reason why I am upset is because you are incompetent! Let me ask you, where were you when Wang Huang made Zhao Li the new King of Zhao?Others have robbed you of your throne, and you still have the nerve to lie in hibernation in the Zhao Kingdom and let me, an old father-in-law, go to fight ghosts for you. Do you think you are unreasonable?Zhang Er, the first hero, I really don't know how you gave birth to such a brave and courageous son.If it wasn't for your father who helped me in the early years, don't say you were named King Zhao, you would have no way to cheat on my daughter.Listen carefully, don't think that everything is safe because you have a mother-in-law protecting you.I can lift you up, and I can also step on you. If you annoy me again one day, you don't want to be in Zhao Guo!

From the above remarks, we can see why Liu Bang later agreed to Lou Jing to marry Princess Lu Yuan to the Xiongnu.In Liu Bang's eyes, Zhang Ao had no shining point at all.Aunt Lu Zhi desperately said that he was kind, respectful and humble because he had no good points.fart!If you push a lot of benefits to my family, you can see whether I am kind and humble to you.I'm afraid ten Zhang Ao's are not as good as I, Liu Bang. If you don't believe me, you can ask Uncle Xiang how I managed to deal with him in the first place. Liu Bangzhi's scolding was extremely vicious.However, Zhang Ao acted as if he was deaf and deaf, bowed his head in silence, and dared not fart.After Liu Bang finished cursing, he ate and drank enough, patted his ass and went back to Chang'an.However, Liu Bang's high-ranking posture immediately angered two people, they were Zhang Ao's Guoxiang Guangao and Zhao Wu.

From Guan Gao and Zhao Wu's point of view, this Zhang Ao is really weak.Even outsiders like me don't like it, but he can still swallow his breath, it's incredible.So, they went to see Zhang Ao together, and said in unison: "Heroes in the world rise together, and those who are able will stand first. Today, the king is very respectful to the emperor, but the emperor is rude. Please kill him for the king!" What? !Zhang Ao was startled and frightened when he heard this, he couldn't help inserting two fingers into his mouth, biting out blood. What heroes come together, may I be a hero?

Those who can stand first, may I be the one who can? Please also kill him for the king, why should I do it myself? As the saying goes, the value of a person lies in his self-knowledge.What I am, I know very well.Don't try your best to flatter, let alone mess around.It's nothing to wrong me. If you risk the lives of Zhao Guo's officials and people, then you are too bastards! After a while, Zhang Ao finally calmed down, and said to Guan Gao and Zhao Wu: You vented your anger for me, and I thank you.But if you two make such a bad move, there is absolutely no way for you to do so.You don't know, before my father lost the Zhao Kingdom, it was only thanks to Your Majesty that he was able to restore the country, and I was able to inherit the throne.Every plant, every tree, every poultry and every animal in Zhao State was given to us by the emperor. Please don’t say such words of beheading and exterminating the clan in the future!

Oh, it really is a weak king!Zhao Wang is timid, it seems that he has to do it himself. Guan Gao and Zhao Wu had a secret discussion, and the result was: the words that are said, the water that is spilled, cannot be controlled by King Zhao, kill!At the same time, they also decided: if the assassination is done, it will belong to the king of Zhao; All assassins should be divided into three, six, and nine classes.Those who are courageous and resourceful are called the best, such as Zhang Liang; those who are courageous but not resourceful are called inferior, such as Guangao.This height, saying that his brain is not fully developed, really hurts him a bit.However, judging from his later performance, he was actually getting water in his head.

Its specific manifestations are as follows: First, he thought that assassinating Liu Bang would save Zhang Ao from suffering, which is nonsense.Excuse me, even if you kill Liu Bang, will Liu Bang's sons and clan let them go?Second, he said that the failure of the operation has nothing to do with King Zhao.The problem is that you, as Prime Minister of Zhao, say that you assassinate the emperor, which has nothing to do with King Zhao.Excuse me, if you were Liu Bang, would you believe it? Therefore, how to kill Guan Gao is the second best.Zhang Ao is weak and innocent, cowardly and justified!

However, Guan Gao still acted! 199 BC, winter. At this time, it has been nearly a year since Liu Bang abused Zhang Ao. In the past year, Guan Gao, Zhao Wu and others have made various plans for the assassination, but none of them are satisfactory. Everything is God's will. In the winter of this year, Liu Bang personally led an army to Dongyuan (Zhengding County, Hebei Province) to conquer the remnants of Han Wangxin.To go to Dongyuan, one must pass through Bairen (southwest of Longyao County, Hebei Province). Guan Gao decided to assassinate Liu Bang in Bairen. Regarding the assassination, Qin Shihuang experienced it twice: Jing Ke saw the poor dagger, and the palace was stained with blood;In Guan Gao's view: Jing Ke and Zhang Liang are more than brave, but not enough to learn from them.Since it was an assassination, he must be taken by surprise, so that he would be caught off guard.

After everyone's discussion, Guan Gao finalized the specific direction of assassinating Liu Bang: the toilet! Among them, the toilet is the toilet of the Bairen Guest House.In the Han Dynasty, no matter the common people or the nobles, no matter the powerful or the rich, all made the toilet in the pigsty.According to high expectations, Liu Bang must stay here overnight. If he stays overnight, he must choose the Bairen Guest House. If he enters the guest house, he must go to the pigsty to go to the toilet. I have to say that killing Liu Bang in the toilet is indeed a lovely idea. As long as Liu Bang goes to the toilet, he knows what it means to come in vertically and go out horizontally.I think this should be the perfect calculation of Guan Gao and others.

Guan Gao is cute, and Liu Bang is even cuter.At that time, as Guan Gao expected, Liu Bang marched through Bairen County and planned to stay overnight.But when Liu Bang was about to get off his horse, he suddenly asked his left and right: What is this place? Left and right answer: Cypress! Liu Bang's heart moved: Bo people?Cypresses are forced by others.This place is ominous, so it is not suitable to stay overnight. Chinese divination and divination has a long history, one of which is Kaizi.No one knows how much cultural magic power Chinese characters contain.We only heard that when Cangjie succeeded in inventing characters, there was a lot of wind and rain, and gods cried and ghosts howled.Could it be that the gods and ghosts cry together because Cangjie has cracked the secret that only the gods and ghosts know? Otherwise, why are they weeping and hurting so much? I have to say, Liu Bang, you are so talented.Because Liu Bangzhi's interpretation of characters was more than 200 years earlier than Xu Shen's "Shuowen Jiezi".At the beginning, when Yingzheng passed Bolangsha, did he think that "Bolangsha" could be interpreted as "the place where the ronin Zhang Liangbo killed"? That time, Liu Bang did not stay in Bairen and continued to drive forward.Therefore, Guan Gao and his colleagues squatted in the pigsty all night in vain, and the assassination operation was inexplicably ruined like this!