Chapter 41 Chapter Forty-One

When I woke up, I was already in the hospital.Gauze was wrapped around my head, and my chest was full of dull pain like being pressed by a stone slab.Throat hurts like burning.I turned my head and saw my father and my mother. My mother's eyes were swollen like goldfish. My mother was expressionless. Seeing that I woke up, she immediately lay on top of me and cried.I looked at my mother's undulating shoulders and felt very uncomfortable.My mother still hit me, and she still slapped me, but it was as light as touching me, but this kind of slap made me feel very uncomfortable.My mother said, Lin Lan, tell me, why are you always so annoying?

I turned my head to the other side, I didn't dare to look at my mother, I turned around and saw Wen Jingwei, and Gu Xiaobei's father, but Gu Xiaobei was not there, I opened my mouth to ask, but didn't come out, thinking about it or never mind.Xiaobei's father said, it's okay, it'll be fine when he wakes up, Xiaobei...he's out of town and is rushing back.I said, are you with Yao Shanshan?Xiaobei's father didn't answer me, his face was very embarrassed.I'm quite calm, I see everything away. As soon as I closed my eyes, I suddenly remembered that Lu Xu was in the car with me at that time. I sat up all of a sudden, but I felt extremely nauseous all of a sudden, so I opened my mouth and vomited. The snow-white sheets were very dirty by me. .

My mother's face turned pale.She said what are you doing?Lie down!ancestors! I grabbed my mother and asked, I said where is Lu Xu?I asked very urgently, and I stuttered a bit. Then the people around me stopped talking. Looking at their pale faces, I felt that all the strength in my body was gone.I pointed at Wen Jing, and I said you tell me, you fucking tell me!I used to never say a word of foul language in front of my parents, or Xiaobei's parents, but now, I really can't control it anymore, I feel that my paws are cold and cold. Wen Jing was obviously frightened, she stuttered a bit, she said that Lu Xu he...he...

I suddenly had no strength, I lay on the bed, I said, dead.Yes or no?I finished speaking very calmly, and then the tears flowed down and wet my pillow. My mother said me, this child, how do you talk?He's not dead yet, but the situation is very dangerous. Both of you have been in a coma for two days. Now that you're awake, Lu Xu hasn't... Before my mother finished speaking, I struggled to get up, this time I learned to be smart, got up slowly, and then walked slowly so that my head would not be dizzy.I said to the person who wanted to pull me back to the bed and lie in the lonely village, it’s okay, I’ll go and see Lu Xu, and I’ll come back after a look, do you think I can still walk around after I’m like this?Don't worry, it's all right.

I stood outside Lu Xu's ward, looking at him lying on the bed through the glass window.His head was wrapped with several layers of gauze, which was very clean, and it could be vaguely seen that the inner gauze was dyed red, and I didn't know whether it was blood or red medicine.I remembered that when I hit the railing, although my seat belt was only loosely fastened, it still protected me. I only had my head and chest hit the steering wheel, and my head bled a little. The pain passed out.But Lu Xu came straight up from behind and hit the windshield.His head was drooping in front of me at that time, and I remember that his blood flowed down and blurred my eyes.

I looked at Lu Xu in front of me, feeling very sad.He seemed to be asleep, with long eyelashes like those clean and beautiful boys I saw in fairy tale books when I was a child.But I know that he may be dying of pain and suffering now.But he is still so quiet, maybe he is coming out of the nightmare, but it is also possible that he is walking step by step towards the deep trap dug by death. I lay on the glass and looked at Lu Xu. I was as devout as when I participated in the visit to the Revolutionary Museum organized by the school when I was in elementary school. People passing by would look at me when they walked by.I was thinking in my heart how wonderful that Lu Xu was, who could laugh, talk and fight with me.

With tears in my eyes, I saw Lu Xu woke up, and he smiled at me with a pale face and chapped lips.I thought, this hallucination is so fucking torturous.I wiped away my tears, but I found that Lu Xu was still smiling at me. I froze for two seconds, and then ran like crazy to the room of the nurse on duty. My whole body hurt, especially my chest, but I still Feeling happy, happy, I shed tears of happiness all the way, which makes me feel happy. The nurse was also very happy, as if his son had woken up.The nurse was quite young, but she was not very good-looking. When You Qi smiled, her teeth were three layers inside and three layers outside, just like what Match said at the time, and the whole was a harvester.I think she is more suitable for the look of a cold beauty, and it is difficult for her to smile.

I stood next to Lu Xu and wiped my tears. Lu Xu looked at me and smiled at me with cracked and dry lips. His eyes were full of deep feelings like the setting sun.I figured it out, no matter how sorry I am to anyone, I can't be sorry to Lu Xu.I think Lu Xu has grown up. When I first met him, I thought he was much more mature than Gu Xiaobei and Bai Song, not just two years older than them. I looked at Lu Xu's overall suit and leather shoes, and then looked at Gu Xiaobei and Bai Song who were dressed in fashion at that time. I think Lu Xu is very mature, and even feels a little old.Later I found out that Lu Xu was actually the same as them, just a big kid who didn't grow up.But now, when I look at the deepness in Lu Xu's eyes and the tolerance in Lu Xu's smile, I feel that he is really no longer a child, but a man.What a joyful thing this is. Lu Xu's parents have finally brought up their son, and their long-cherished wish for many years has come true. I am happy for the two elders.I shed tears of excitement again.

The nurse looked at me very impatiently, and kicked me out, saying that non-immediate relatives could not see me. I was thinking about lying about whether I was Lu Xu's sister or his sister-in-law, but Lu Xu spoke hoarsely to the little nurse. Said, it's okay, I want to see her.The little nurse immediately nodded and smiled like a little lamb, then glared at me and said that the doctor hadn't come for an examination yet and hadn't confirmed whether he was out of danger, so don't disturb him, and then ran out gracefully.I looked at her back a little depressed.I said to Lu Xu, you are destroying the flowers of the motherland again, honestly explain the process, did you seduce others in the process of falling asleep, why do you say I can stay and stay, the rules of the hospital are determined by the party and the people Yes, you can't be disqualified just because you look a little better, why?I sat in front of the bed with gauze wrapped around my head like a mummy, talking to Lu Xupin.Lu Xu stared at me, but he no longer had the ferocity of the previous one, and what he got in exchange was eyes like the vast sunset, which made my heart churn up and down.Lu Xu and I looked at the three layers of gauze on each other's body, and I felt a little emotional.I suddenly had an illusion that Lu Xu and I were two soldiers who had just returned from the battlefield. We had gone through countless dangerous mountains and rivers, rushed through countless bullets, and lost arms and legs, but we finally triumphed.We stood under the red flag and supported each other, and when we looked up, we saw the horizon with the morning glow ahead.We laughed like children and said, "Look how bright the front is."

Lu Xusha said to me in a loud voice, you think everyone is like you, drooling when you see beautiful ones.To be honest, I felt like laughing when I heard him speak. He has a drake voice, very hoarse, like singing rock and roll, and he speaks very slowly, even slower than my grandma. I said fuck you, whoever dares to swear to the sky that the girl is beautiful, I will let him ride me around Beijing three times. Lu Xu said, no matter how others are more beautiful than you. I jumped up, I said you are endless, don't you speak with a little conscience, how did the party and the people educate you?

Lu Xu looked at me, didn't speak, just smiled, I felt very peaceful looking at his weak smile.He said, you are good at everything except your temper.It would be great if you want to change it.In fact, I don't think it's a big deal, it's just that your personality is more disadvantaged outside, and I feel sorry for you, Lin Lan, why don't you change it, really. I looked at Lu Xu and nodded. At that moment, I felt that Lu Xu was like a father, a very young but thoughtful father.A picture suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. Lu Xu squatted in front of his son, stroking his hair and teaching him the principles of life. This picture made me feel very warm. I sat next to him, looked at him, and I didn't want to talk anymore.In fact, from the accident to the present, when I was asleep and when I was awake, I thought a lot about my life, my family, my love and my friendship.Now I suddenly feel that I don't hate Xiaobei anymore. Really, I think that people are destined to each other. Once the fate is over, no matter how much you force it, it will be useless. It will only make others think it is a joke.I have been playing the role of the clown, and the kind of Yao Shanshan and Li Moli are great spectators sitting high on the floor. The more I compete, the happier they are.I have always only cared about how many injuries I have suffered under the light, but I have never seen how much happiness is waiting for me behind me where the light does not shine.I think if Xiaobei and Yao Shanshan are happy together, then I can really attend their wedding with a generous gift.I will hold beautiful flowers, hold Lu Xu's hand, and bless them in the sound of pigeons fluttering. Lu Xu stretched out his hand to hold me. I was a little embarrassed and wanted to get rid of him, but seeing that the drip needle was still inserted in his hand, I was afraid that it would be a sin if I shook the needle out of the blood vessel, so I Decided to temporarily sacrifice the innocence of my pure young woman to let him satisfy his sinful thoughts.Lu Xu smiled with cracked and dry lips, he said, well, it's better to be quiet like this, don't make any noise, I will marry you back tomorrow, my mother should be so happy, by the way, you haven't seen my mother and My dad? I suddenly recalled that Wei Wei and I called his father a monk last time, so I changed the subject in a guilty conscience. Old man, killed him as soon as he got married, and then took the inheritance and counted the money, where is your turn, fuck you.The more I spoke, the more vigorous I was, and after finishing the last sentence, I habitually pushed Lu Xu on the head. I was proud of myself, but I gradually felt that something was wrong. I saw Lu Xuzheng's face turned white, as if he had been soaked in water. I panicked a little. I said, don't scare me, what's wrong with you? Lu Xu said, just now you pushed me, I was dizzy and felt like vomiting... Before he finished speaking, he passed out. I stood in front of his bed, too scared to speak.I stretched out my hand and gave him a gentle hug. I called him, Lu Xu, Lu Xu!But he didn't respond, and I immediately cried out in fright, and I limped out again, calling the nurse while crying.When I rushed into the nurse's duty room, I suddenly fell down and hit my head on the table, which made me grin my teeth in pain.But I stood up immediately, and I said, sister, go and see Lu Xu, go and see him, he...he... I was crying while talking, but the nurse ignored me and ran out.I followed, wiping my tears as I walked.I was thinking in my heart, Lu Xu, you can't be so fragile, you will faint when you push it. When I arrived at the ward, the nurse had put the oxygen mask on Lu Xu again.Lu Xu regained the tranquility of his deep sleep, but his face was pale and pale, which made people feel frightened. The nurse reprimanded me while frantically handling the situation, she said, how did you mess with him, that he suddenly went into shock? shock?my mom.I was a little stunned, I said, I didn't really... just pushed his head... The nurse suddenly turned around and glared at me. She said, you've lost your mind, and you still pushed him after he hit his head?Your push must be a pushover!After she finished speaking, she turned on the heart rate monitor, and I saw the green line beating at a very small and weak frequency. I was wondering if there would be such a silly plot in Hong Kong TV dramas. It became a straight line, and the heroine cried to death in front of his bed. I stood there without saying a word, but the nurse was still yelling at me, and I suddenly became angry, and I said, why are you so fucking nonsense, scolding me is useless, you save him, He's fine, I'll let you scold him enough, I'll buy you a microphone! ... Before I finished speaking, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. The pain made me unable to lean against the wall, and my body slid down the wall.I still want to scold her, because if I don't scold people, I can't counteract a kind of fear that is inexplicably born in my heart.But as soon as I opened my mouth, a mouthful of blood came out.In the past, I often watched Little Dragon Girl Yang Guo and the others vomit blood in ancient costume movies. I thought it was like watching a sci-fi movie, but I didn’t expect this to happen in real life.My avatar was about to explode, buzzing, and then I couldn't see, it was all gray, just like a TV with no picture.I vaguely heard the nurse shouting towards the empty corridor, Liu Xiaohui, come quickly and take her back to the ward... When I woke up, I found that they were all around me, and Wen Jing was looking at me with sadness in her eyes.I turned over and got out of bed, stumbling and trying to rush out, I asked Wen Jing while putting on my slippers, I said how is Lu Xu, I'm going to see him. Wen Jing pressed my shoulder, I looked up and saw her tears streaming down, she said, Lin Lan, don't go... you're dead. I stared at Wen Jing for a full minute, feeling cold from head to toe, my body was as cold and stiff as a corpse.After I realized it, I cried. I pushed Wen Jing away. Wen Jing was pushed away and hit the wall. I never knew I had such great strength.I said to Wen Jing, who was in tears like me, I still have to see it even if the fuck is dead! I crawled to the outside of Lu Xu's ward. Through the glass window, I saw Lu Xu lying quietly on the bed. He didn't move or speak, very quiet.And his face was covered with a white sheet. Lu Xu's funeral arrangements were very simple, just like his people.I went there that day. I had been sick at home and slept day and night, but I went that day.I can't not go, and if I don't I'll beat myself to death.I wore a black overcoat and a small white flower in my hair.Before I went out, I kept telling myself not to cry, because I heard from my grandma before, she said that after death, people have hearing and vision. Turn back, once you turn back, you won't be able to go to the sky. But that day I still cried, standing in front of Lu Xu's mother and crying.I didn't even see Lu Xu's... coffin.As soon as I walked to the gate, I saw Lu Xu's mother.She is very haggard, but she is still clean, just like Lu Xu, very clean.The old lady looked at me without saying anything. I just wanted to say sorry to the old lady, but before I could say it, the old lady slapped me with a big force, which was worse than any slap I had ever received. Heavy.People around were surprised, many people came to pull the old lady, because Lu Xu's mother was trembling with anger, everyone around helped the old lady, fearing that she would fall down, some even came to hold me ridiculously, they pressed hard Hold my hand, lest I hit the old lady back.I suddenly felt very sad, I was a snake-like woman in their hearts, I killed Lu Xu, and I still didn't let the old lady go.I calmly said to the people around me, let me go, I will never do anything, really. The old lady looked at me with vicious resentment in her eyes, I could see it.I think I will definitely not be able to attend Lu Xu's funeral today. It's ironic that I can't see the person who loved me the most during his lifetime.I lowered my head and said to the old lady, aunt, don't be angry, I'll just go.If you still want to smoke me, do it.The old lady was very excited, and I could see that she still wanted to slap me, but the people around persuaded her, and more people persuaded me to leave.In fact, I understand, really, I was also very angry who drove my son into the third ring road with a car, and what was even more angry was that he didn't die in the car accident, but he was pushed to death by a slap, and I was even more angry.If I were that old lady, I would definitely hack Lin Lan to death. So I left, and I thought the old lady would faint from anger if I didn't leave.I said, aunt, I'm leaving.Then turned around and left.As soon as I turned around, tears began to flow down my face. I bit my lip and kept silent, but the tears flowed like running water.I think there is no sound and I only have a back view, so Lu Xu on the road will definitely not look back. When I left, I was thinking, the old lady must not know, I really want to call her mom, stand in front of her with Lu Xu, and call her mom. I left step by step, and in a trance, I felt that Lu Xu was standing behind me and looking at me, with those deep eyes like the setting sun, extraordinarily confused. I have been sleeping at home for almost a month. For a month, I have been thinking about Lu Xu all day long, remembering that he used to fight with me in the office, remembering how he was hit by a flower pot downstairs, and remembering him hiding in the airport I thought of him chasing me to Shanghai, thinking of him standing in the rain in Shanghai and looking at me sadly, thinking of Lu Xu smiling at me in the fireworks during the New Year that just passed.I was in a trance all day long. Sometimes I laughed suddenly when I saw a photo, and sometimes I cried when I saw a sketch of an advertisement design.My mother also followed me and shed tears all day long. I wanted to comfort my mother.But every time I just wanted to comfort my mother, I started to cry and couldn't say a word. Many times I quietly ran to Lu Xu's grave and sat there for an afternoon, until it got dark and Lu Xu's photo couldn't be seen clearly, and then I left.Lu Xu was buried in a high-end cemetery in the south of Beijing. The tombstone is tall and tall. In the photo, he looks very young and handsome, with piercing eyes.When I look at his photos, I often feel that he is still by my side, rushing at me, throwing my temper at me, and then gently hugging me and telling me to change my temper.I don't know how many tears I shed on the tombstone, I only know that the flowers I bring every time are dried, withered, and blown away by the wind. A month later I told my mother that I was leaving, that I was leaving Beijing.My mother cried before I finished speaking, and she started to pinch me again, she said how could you do this, what should you do if you left?I didn’t hide, I asked my mother to pinch me, but in fact, I was saying in my heart, Mom, pinch me more, make me feel clearer, so that I can remember after I’m gone, and feel like I’m still acting like a baby by your side. My father didn't say anything, he knew my temper, he was stubborn since he was a child, my father said that I was like a cow, and I couldn't be pulled back.On the day I packed my luggage, my mother went out in a fit of anger, and I was a little disappointed. I think my mother would not even give me the final gift.That day when Gu Xiaobei came to my house, he actually cried while looking at my luggage.He hugged me and kept crying, no sound, only tears kept flowing down my neck.I felt very depressed, I let him hold me without moving, and finally I said, have you cried enough?He let go of me in surprise, he stood in front of me, but I felt like a stranger to him. When I was about to leave that day, Xiaobei pulled me, and he said don't leave, I don't want Yao Shanshan, I only want you, you don't want to leave. I turned around and slapped him. I said, Gu Xiaobei, how many slaps you gave me by holding my hand before, I will give you one back today.Go fuck and get married happily and disappear into my life with your beautiful bride.You make me totally sick! Wen Jing kept calling me, but I didn't answer, and finally I answered one, and I said I'm going to the airport now, I have to leave.Don't come to see you off, I have to cry when you come, recently I feel disgusted by fucking crying, I don't want to cry anymore.Wen Jing cried on the phone, she said when will you come back.I said I didn't know and hung up the phone.I really don't know, I looked up at the sky and felt that the sky in Beijing was dirtier than ever.The sun is more dazzling than ever. While I was in a taxi, I got a call from an unknown number, it was Match.She didn't say much, but simply said, what time is your flight, I'll take you off, I know everything about you.I said, two o'clock, the plane to Shenzhen, uz2537. I sat in the empty terminal of the airport, surrounded by people dragging their luggage around.I suddenly remembered that at this time a year ago, I also left Beijing, but at that time there was still a large group of people seeing me off, and Lu Xu, who was wrapped in gauze, stood behind the pillar and looked at me.I raised my head and looked behind those pillars one by one. In a trance, I seemed to think that Lu Xu might suddenly come out from behind a certain pillar, looking at me and smiling. My cell phone rang, and before I picked it up, I saw Match calling me.I waved to her and hung up the phone.Match came towards me, I looked at her, I haven't seen her for a long time, I suddenly found that I wanted to cry in front of her, I was very weak, just like a little sister who was bullied by children outside and saw my sister Same.My tears were in my eyes, but they didn't fall.But before the match came to me, and before I had the opportunity to act coquettishly and bury her in her arms and cry, seven or eight policemen rushed up around me, and they held the match under control. I saw the handcuffs glowing white With a bang, it was clasped in the match's hand.Match's cell phone fell on the marble floor, and the case shattered. Turning around when Match was taken away, I saw her venomous eyes, she yelled at me, Lin Lan, I'll fuck you, you're just like Wei Wei!Inhuman beast! The turmoil at the airport stopped after a while. People here have their own direction, take off in a hurry, land in a hurry, take away other people's stories, and leave their own memories. The sound of the matches still seemed to be echoing in the hall, and I heard her calling me a beast over and over again.I kind of wanted to tell her that I didn't notify the police, but after thinking about it, even if I didn't notify her, I would still be considered a fucking beast, and Match was right.I picked up the phone on the ground, and I thought, everything is broken, just like this phone, broken. At this time my mobile phone rang, I picked it up, it was my mother, my mother was crying on the phone, she kept repeating a few words, I couldn't hear clearly, I heard my mother crying and calling me over there At the same time, I have to pay attention to my health. If I am not used to it, I will go back to Beijing. The family can afford it, and they always scold me for being heartless, leaving as soon as I say, and not being filial.I heard my mother's voice coming from the phone, and my heart was as uncomfortable as going through mountains and mountains. I hung up the phone, and then I heard the call on the radio: Passengers to Shenzhen, now check-in for flight uz2537 begins. When the plane took off, I suddenly remembered a plot in a Taiwanese TV series I had watched. It said that there was a city called the City Without Tears, because the people in it only laughed and cried.But it changed later, this city is still called the City of No Tears, but it is because the tears of the people in this city are all shed. I think Beijing is now my city without tears, and this city will live stubbornly in my memory for a hundred years and a thousand years. In the roar of the plane taking off, I have long been used to it.Close your eyes, flying flowers flood over, like someone's memory, suddenly falling from the sky.