Chapter 32 Chapter Thirty-Two

I don't know if the heating was turned off after twelve o'clock. I always felt cold, and my body was shaking like chaff.Lu Xu took off his coat and put it on me, I grabbed the coat very tightly. I finally know what happened after I broke up with Gu Xiaobei.Just when I thought that nothing had changed, as long as I was happy, I could fall back into Gu Xiaobei's arms and never come out for the rest of my life. In fact, everything has changed.I am like a nautilus hiding in the shell and sleeping forever. When I stick my head out to look at the world, the sea where I used to live has become an unattainable mountain range, and I am a fossil dead on the cliff.

Bai Song said, Xiaobei was actually very sad after you broke up with Xiaobei.Several times when I went to play with him, I saw him in the dormitory, sitting alone on the bed, neither talking nor reading.In fact, Xiaobei used to be very autistic, but after being with you, he became a lot more outgoing.But after you left him, he hardly spoke much.Just at that time, a buddy in Xiaobei's dorm room wanted to chase Yao Shanshan and asked Xiaobei to go together to embolden him.I was there at the time, so we went together.As a result, Yao Shanshan didn't take a fancy to Xiaobei that day, and his buddies took a look at Xiaobei.We drank together that night. I was not good at drinking, and I fell down after drinking for a while. Xiaobei's buddy was very depressed, because Yao Shanshan hadn't looked at him since we met that day, and almost all eyes met him. The language is all on Xiao Bei.That buddy also drank too much.Xiaobei also kept drinking, and finally poured it down. Yao Shanshan sent Xiaobei home.Xiaobei also told me what happened later. When Xiaobei woke up the next day, he was at Yao Shanshan's house.Two people are on the same bed, and both of them are naked under the quilt.Xiaobei got dressed, Yao Shanshan woke up and looked at him.Xiaobei asked, why am I at your house.Yao Shanshan said because I don't know where your family lives.Xiaobei asked, did we have sex?Yao Shanshan said yes.Xiaobei asked, do you need me to take responsibility?Yao Shanshan said, of course.Then Xiaobei stood there for a while, then closed the door and left.Before leaving, Xiaobei said, if you want to, treat me as your boyfriend, if you don't want to, just make an offer, and tell me how much you want.Later, Yao Shanshan said that she was pregnant with Gu Xiaobei's child, and then she aborted it.Because of this, Xiao Bei Te accommodated her.I finished listening to Bai Song's story quietly.Really, I think it's a story, as silly as a TV series.I never thought that the plots in the TV series or the plots in my novels would happen in my life, and it happened to the person I love the most.I sat there without saying a word.

Wen Jing shook my shoulder, she said, Lin Lan, you can cry if you want, there are no outsiders here.Before she finished speaking, she cried herself. I pulled a tissue to wipe Wen Jing's tears, I said why cry, there is nothing to cry, you see I will not cry.You guys know what inspired me?My inspiration is that I can't listen to Bai Song's stories. His stories are served with wine. You see, I have already drank so much.Indeed, there were seven beer bottles in front of me, all of which I drank. I stood up and said I was leaving. In fact, my family is also very strict. My mother also said that girls should not be shameless outside.

I was walking on the streets of Beijing in the early morning. The wind was extremely strong, and heavy snow rolled into my clothes with goose feathers.I felt very cold, especially my feet, which were numb from the cold. It felt like I was stepping on snow with my bare feet, which hurt like needles.But I still don't want to go home, and I don't know where I want to go, wandering all the way. I turned around and knew that Lu Xu had been following me.I pointed at him, and I said don't follow me, what should you do!I suddenly laughed, very happily, and I said, are you afraid that I will be overwhelmed?Don't worry, I'm not that stupid, but I'll tell you, Lu Xu, if you follow me again, I'll immediately get under the wheel, lend you courage, try it if you don't believe me!

I turned back at the end of the road, but Lu Xu didn't follow, but he still stood in the distance and kept looking at me. I suddenly felt very sad, but I still didn't want to cry.I feel that I have really become a genius, and I will not cry no matter how big the blow is.I just watched Lu Xu standing in the heavy snow and looking at me a little sad. The snow fell on his hair and shoulders, making him look like the snowman I build on the roof of the building every year.I suddenly remembered that when I was in college, Gu Xiaobei played the guitar to me, and he sang I looked at you in the sunset, and you carried the sadness of flowing water.But now, I look at the other end of the road, but I can't find the rainbow that once appeared in my eyes, only heavy snow, endless heavy snow, singing a sad song.

I walked to school without knowing it.Standing on the road in front of the school, I suddenly remembered that there was a chair in front of me that Gu Xiaobei had carved words on the back.I ran over and fell down the road, and my hands were cut and bled a little on the ground, but they froze right away. I thought it would be easy to find that chair, but it took me several times to find it.I squatted down behind that chair, and then simply sat on the snow. I leaned against the back of the chair, remembering how Gu Xiaobei used to carve letters here.At that time, he engraved "Gu Xiaobei will always love his wife, Mrs. Lin Lan". I forced him to write the words "my wife" on it, and I said that I would start working early.I remember being arrested that day by the little old lady who was in charge of the school's environmental sanitation, saying that we were vandalizing public property by writing indiscriminately.They also confiscated our bicycles.I was very angry at the time, but Gu Xiaobei teased me with a smile. He said it’s okay, let’s go and let her discipline you. She is so unlucky, we will naturally return the car after her training, after all, she is a school administrator and not a car theft gang.At that time, Gu Xiaobei could laugh and talk a lot to make me happy, but now Gu Xiaobei is always so silent, sitting quietly in one place without speaking.When I think of Gu Xiaobei like this, I feel very uncomfortable.

I turned to look for that line of writing, I found it, and then I found another line of writing below, "When will my wife come home". I touched the line of words and my heart twitched. I could even imagine Gu Xiaobei squatting behind the chair and carving this line of words. I could imagine him sitting on the grass behind the chair in a daze after he finished engraving, surrounded by many people. And many cars pass by him.I suddenly felt that my throat was very blocked. I stood up, feeling dizzy, and the wine in my stomach suddenly surged up together.I vomited suddenly, vomited in a mess, the debris mixed with liquid gushed out from my mouth and nose, it hurt my throat very much, and I felt uncomfortable.But I feel very lucky that I didn't vomit in a very prosperous area, and I didn't let people see me.An aunt walked past me, she saw that I looked like a ghost, and her steps became faster.I stood up on the chair, and I said aunt, don't be afraid, I just feel a little uncomfortable, really, you...I threw up before I finished speaking.

I sat on a chair, hugged my feet and started crying.I'm so tired, I'm literally about to cry.I don't know how many tears I can shed, all I know is that I've vomited as much as I can in my stomach.I started crying very quietly, almost without sound, just crying like crazy, but then I felt my throat was very blocked, and I started crying loudly, and finally I was almost yelling.There were hardly anyone outside the school in the early morning. My voice floated in the air, caught in the snowflakes, and it sounded like a ghost. I don't know how long I cried, I just know that I was so tired that I lay down on the chair.My face was against the snowflakes that had piled up on the chair, and I felt cold.

When I woke up, I was lying on the bed, and my mother was sitting on the edge of my bed, stroking my head with her hand.I saw that my mother's eyes were bloodshot, so I asked, Mom, did you not sleep yesterday?As soon as I wanted to get up, my mother slapped me.I was blinded at the time, I looked at my mother, and big tears rolled out of my mother's eyes. Lin Lan, tell me, you are such an adult, why are you so uneasy?What if a girl drank so much, threw up all over her body, and slept in the snow, what if there were some bad guys around?What if you freeze to death?Tell me, is it so easy for your mother to raise you?

I looked at my mother. In fact, I have never seen my mother cry since I was a child. Now that I see it, I finally understand what Wen Jing said to me, "Seeing you cry is worse than being hacked by someone." All uncomfortable."So I also cried, although I always argue with my mother, always poor with my mother, but I love my mother more than anyone else.I cried and said, Mom, I have a sore throat. My mother wiped her tears and said, I will give you porridge.You don't know you have a fever, do you?It was such a cold day yesterday, and you just slept in the snow like that, why don't you love yourself so much, child.After finishing speaking, I went out of the room to help me get the porridge.

I lay down, the tears still flowing.My memory of last night is very vague, but the line of words is very clear, "When will my wife go home?"Gu Xiaobei, do you think I can go home now? While drinking the porridge my mother brought in, I asked my mother, and I said, Mom, Lu Xu sent me back yesterday, right?In fact, I know that Lu Xu has been following me, including when I fell on the street without people, including when I vomited in a mess, and when I shed tears in front of a chair, he saw it all. But my mother's answer surprised me and made me uncomfortable.She said, it was Xiaobei who sent you back.When you came back, Xiaobei wrapped all his clothes around you, his hair, eyebrows, and eyebrows were covered in snow, like a snowman, and you vomited so that Xiaobei was covered in snow.His lips were blue from the cold, and he couldn't speak. I made him a cup of boiling coffee and drank it. After five minutes, he vaguely called me aunt, you were unconscious at the time, I think I don't know how distressed I am.Xiaobei is a very good boy.If Xiaobei hadn't found you, I would have found you on the news broadcast today. The headline of the news was "A young woman froze to death at the gate of the university".I quietly poured my tears into the bowl, not daring my mother to see it. I held the bowl with both hands, and I was afraid that I would smash the bowl if my hands were soft.I looked up and I said, Mom, you know what?Yao...my classmate, she had Xiaobei's...child, and she aborted it.Mom, tell me, tell me I can... My mother stood up suddenly and stood in front of me unable to say a word. I could see that my mother was very excited and her lips were trembling.After a long time, my mother sat next to me and put her hand on my hair. Her tears fell on my face, and I felt very hot.She said, Lan'er, Mom finally understands why you spoiled yourself so much.Mom's heart hurts more than yours.Every time I hear my mother call me Lan'er, I feel very sad.My mother went on to say, Lan'er, in fact, my mother has watched you and Xiaobei come over for so many years. I know that you and Xiaobei are good boys. Although sometimes you can cause trouble and look strong, but mother You know, you never really grew up.Xiaobei is also a good boy. Every time Xiaobei comes to my house for dinner during the Chinese New Year, I treat him as my unmarried son-in-law. Every time I give him a red envelope, I feel very sweet.I saw that kid Xiaobei was very obedient to you. I always thought you were the best couple in the world, but this time...why is he so confused!Sin! Mom, stop talking.Xiaobei and I are nothing.I will marry a few years later, and I have to rely on my family for a few more years to eat. Mom, please don't drive me away... I hugged my mother, tears fell drop by drop on the bed sheet.It was the first time in years that I cried so hard in front of my mom.In the past, I just wanted to tell Xiaobei and Wenjing Weiwei about everything, and I just cried in front of them.I looked at my mother, and I suddenly felt that my mother was getting old all these years.I used to think that my mother was young, and people often called us sisters when we went out. My mother was very proud of me and I was very angry.But now, I find that my mother is also old. I can see her white hair, her wrinkles, and the hardships and sorrows she has endured for me. I slept until the afternoon, probably when I was about to eat dinner, I heard someone coming in, and I thought it was someone who came to see me.I just struggled to get up, and when the door opened, I froze.I saw Gu Xiaobei standing in front of me with red eyes like a rabbit. I pointed to the side of the bed, and I said sit down.I thought of the past, when Xiaobei was playing at my house, he would always lie on my bed. He was a very sleepy person, and he always liked to lie on my bed, and he couldn't even pull himself up.Even if I scratched him, punched and kicked him, he wouldn't get up.It's the same when I go to his house. I lie on his bed and I don't get up.But every time he has a way, he just lay down next to me and hugged me to sleep together.I had to blush and jump up and call him obscene.Every time he would lie on the bed with his eyes closed and laugh, and pat the place beside him to signal me to lie down.I can still recall the smell on Gu Xiaobei's pillow, which is the same as the breath on his shoulder.Countless times I just fell asleep on his shoulders, I felt very safe, because Gu Xiaobei would remind me if the teacher called me, and Gu Xiaobei would help me with notes, I felt extra at ease.I always feel that the smell of Gu Xiaobei's body is a hypnotic smell to me, and I can easily fall asleep in it.I even thought that if I get married in the future, I will definitely not need it? Platinum or something, because as long as I am by his side, I will surely sleep soundly.When I thought of this, I was quite happy at first, but when I suddenly remembered that Gu Xiaobei and Yao Shanshan had been entangled in bed naked all night, I felt extremely sick and wanted to vomit, really want to vomit.I told myself not to think about it, but those disgusting images kept popping up in my mind.I'm even sick of myself having to think about these things. Gu Xiaobei sat by my bed, he raised his head and looked at me, he asked, you...know everything? I nodded, not daring to look at him.I said, do you want some water?I'll get it for you. Gu Xiaobei shook his head.He said, is your head still hot? I can't tell. Then there was nothing to say.The two of them just sat there.Gu Xiaobei was wearing a thick down jacket, but he still coughed all the time.His voice was a little hoarse.From time to time, I handed him a tissue to wipe his nose. I don't know how long it took, but my mother came in and told us to go out for dinner.My mother looked at Gu Xiaobei, a little unnaturally, she said, Xiaobei...do you want to eat here?If it was the past, my mother would definitely have asked Xiao Bei to go out directly.Gu Xiaobei stood up and said, no, I'm going back.Before turning around and going out, he said one last thing, Lin Lan, take a good rest.Mom, I'm leaving first. The moment the door closed suddenly, I burst into tears, because I heard Gu Xiaobei's last words in a trance as "Mom, I'm leaving first".