Chapter 4 4. Thoughts in the mirror

You miss him a lot, don't you? I have said this sentence countless times in the mirror. Every time, I look at myself in the mirror and ask, you miss him a lot, don't you?Then, he shut his mouth tightly and didn't answer.In the mirror, only the girl's aggrieved eyes and strong face remained. This struggle started when I was eight years old. When I was very young, I became very beauty-loving, often in front of my mother's vanity mirror, full of smug beauty.For this reason, he once secretly bought me a very small mirror, round and wrapped in a rough green plastic shell. At that time, his big hands were rough and full of cracks from running around for life, but it was the most warm place in the world for me.

That day, he hugged me on his lap, put the mirror in my little hand, and then, with a satisfied smile, said to grandma, look, our girl knows beauty.After finishing speaking, he wiped the sweat off his brow and laughed haha. I always remember his smile, and remember his smile blooming like a flower along the smile lines on his face.Remember is so deep, so irreplaceable, can not be forgotten.Because, I once called him, Dad, with my younger brother, the lovely Mo Fan. Of course, this is only limited to before I was eight years old. Mai Le said that sad memories tend to make people old, and it is not suitable for us girls.So, I try to let myself remember this unhappy past as little as possible.

However, on May 5, 2005, after I lost "Master Bai", I couldn't help but think about it again.It turns out that "Master Bai" and "Avanti" will never be able to love each other, just like, if I hate my father, I will never be able to forgive him. Forgive him for leaving when I was eight years old. It's just that when I was eight years old, I had a serious illness, and this man left.I often wonder, is he afraid of the responsibilities of being a father?That's why, back then, he just left.