Chapter 44 3. Zhou Lei

A night when I finally didn't have to work overtime.Tian Yang and I went to the cinema to watch "House of Flying Daggers" very vulgarly.It turns out that Zhang Yimou is more vulgar than us now. In the cool night wind, I really like the sound of her high heels hitting the pavement of the pedestrian street.She lit a cigarette and held my arm very skillfully.At that time, I began to criticize myself: "How can you be so satisfied? Is there any future for a 24-year-old to be so satisfied?" In this shameful satisfaction, for the first time, I looked at the city where I was born and raised with good intentions.

Summer is the best season.There was a miraculous clarity in the air. We took a walk and passed by Beiming Middle School.The red list of the college entrance examination was posted again, and the photos of the champions were viewed by everyone, and everyone commented more on their looks. All the old houses on the embankment are gone.Build a new commercial housing complex.It happened that this company had a colleague of mine who used to work in a real estate company, and he could readily give me the reserve price of the house here.Next year, we may have to make our home here. life is simple.Simple and quiet.After all, my hometown accepted me kindly.I'm going to make a home here, start a career, and have kids of my own like a real adult.Maybe in a few years, my expression will become the same as that of people walking on the street.For the first time, I feel that this is not an unacceptable thing.I want a little girl.A little girl who is as quiet and smart as Tian Yang in her childhood.Better to be pretty but not too pretty.

The TV news is not good.But when I'm with Tian Yang, I still like to tune the TV to a channel with news.In my impression, this is the most beautiful scene of a family night.I'm almost like a child who plays house.At this moment, Tian Yang came over and pillowed my leg unceremoniously, "I don't watch the news. Switch to the movie channel for me." I already felt terribly that this would be our family's future decision-making model. Just as I was looking for the remote control, I saw our Tang Huai flashing on the screen.The reporter is interviewing an expert who looks like an expert.Only then did I know that our Tang Huai was about to die.It is too old and suffers from a difficult disease. Under the camera, it is still green and majestic without anger.The bunch of experts and journalists working around it are very disreputable.

I went to the pedestrian street with Tian Yang on the weekend night, and I had to check it out.I kissed Tianyang for the first time in front of it.At eight o'clock, it was just getting dark.It still stands quietly at the end of the pedestrian street, and it is impossible to see that its death is approaching.To my surprise, there is a circle of people outside its fence. These people watch the experts treat it inside the fence and watch them take pictures of it. These people look like they came out after dinner to enjoy the cool .An older person said to us: It was because of that news.In the past few days, there are people who come to enjoy the cool every day, and stop by to see it.It's not a deliberate move, just look at it.

I have lived in this city for more than 20 years, and it is the first time I know that there are times when it is so sincere and gentle.This is a city I don't even want to describe with the "she" next to the word female. I was especially sensational that night.It's embarrassingly sensational.I solemnly said to Tian Yang, "I'll tell you something." I wanted to tell her why on earth I lost that job in Chengdu.Of course it wasn't all because of Feng Xianglan—to be precise, the matter of Feng Xianglan was just the fuse. At that time, our company received a big order for us to do a press conference for a makeup brand.At that time, I had just been promoted, so I was naturally motivated like a fool.But the day before, we idiots realized that we forgot to confirm the venue of the hotel.As a result, a group of people turned their backs on their backs and went to temporarily change the venue, and the money recovered was only half of the expected amount.The boss was naturally furious, and each of us lost our bonuses.What's more, I almost didn't think about it and said during the meeting: "I'm sorry for my negligence. Although I have explained this matter to Ms. Liang, I should pay attention to remind Ms. Liang several times—— "Miss Liang is a clerk in our company and has been working there for three years.As a result she was fired.Of course I'm shirking the blame for myself, because if I didn't say that, I'd be the one who got fired.Of course, this is not a reason, but the thought of going back to the life of laughing like a male prostitute at a job fair gives me chills.At the time it was pure instinct.

When Ms. Liang walked out of the company with her things, she gave me a deep look with tears in her eyes.After she left, I found out that this girl, who is usually not talkative, used this job to support her family. Only then did I know that her parents are not working now and there is a younger brother in her family who is in junior high school-I really hate myself why Only then did I know these things. Later I finally did not stay there.No way, maybe I'm not a good person--neither good nor vicious enough.I have been lying to myself that I resigned because of Feng Xianglan, just to shape myself into a lover, that's all.

After hearing what I said, Tian Yang smiled.She stroked my eyebrows warmly, and said: "During the National Day holiday, let's go to Chengdu together. Let's find a way to find that girl. Then, apologize to her, do you dare?" this woman.Why did everything become so simple once she got there. I hugged her warm body tightly, and the sound of her breathing came from my heart. "Tianyang. Maybe one day, I'll start to get tired of this city again. Maybe after the summer, I'll start to hate the air here again." I don't know why I put these two irrelevant things Together, "When winter comes, I start to feel that this is just a closed place, and when the sandstorm hits next spring, I have to hand in my resignation report again. Tian Yang, I should—"

"If that's the case," she said slowly, "I'll go with you." Eye sockets wet for a while, I hugged her tightly. You see it.I speak to the city in my heart.You can only support people like me, half-assed people like me.Not good enough and not bad enough, not affectionate enough and not heartless enough.There are so many such people, but the crux of the problem is: Can an exception be bred in your arms? Maybe Tian Yang is an exception, and Fang Kehan ​​is also an exception.But look at how you treat them.You broke Tian Yang's heart, and you made Fang Kehan ​​die.You still have the nerve to say that you are an ancient city, that you have seen all the customs of the world.When I was in college, one of my classmates was admitted to Southeast University. He proudly said that Nanjing is an ancient capital with all its prosperity.In fact, you are the end of the prosperity. The kings of the Eastern Zhou Dynasty were vassals here, Li Shimin raised troops here, Yuan Haowen recorded a moving legend with you, why no one used "the end of the prosperity" to describe it. How would you describe you?Because your prosperity has "fallen" so thoroughly that no one remembers that you have "prospered".Are you ashamed or not?

You are a poor mother who raises a bunch of unkempt sons, and you rarely give them a smile.When they excitedly told you that you were praised by the teacher at school today, you just said with disgusting indifference: "Go soy sauce." You will never encourage us gently, and you will never teach us how to love others.Things such as handing a coin to one's own child and asking him to put it in the cup in front of the beggar have always been done by mothers in woolen coats and exquisite makeup.Your sons and daughters will either grow up to be as ruthless as you, or start fleeing and exiled forever—like me.

You are simply unforgiving.I gritted my teeth viciously.I have betrayed you countless times, and I will betray you countless times in the future, but you know what?I fucking love you.