Chapter 7 3. Tian Yang

April is the season of dust storms. Zhou Lei finally went back to his parents' house. He made up a wonderful reason. He said that he resigned to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination.So, his innocent parents put him under house arrest with good food and good food to study at home.One day he called and said, "I'm working hard on my studies." "Why don't you just make the fake come true." I said, "Prepare carefully, in case you can pass the exam. Anyway, you are a mess in college, so there is nothing wrong with learning something." "That's right," he said, "it's justifiable for my family to support me for two more years."

"I mean, going to graduate school can improve your self-cultivation, why are you always so vulgar?" "Too lofty goals won't really generate motivation, Miss!" He yelled strangely, "Why don't you promise me that if I can really pass the exam, you'll marry me. Isn't that vulgar?" I said word by word to the phone: "Go to hell." Lunch time is over.Yang Pei and I walked lazily from the hospital garden to the ward.A reporter came to interview today.I've already heard the hostess squeeze her throat in a gesture of tenderness and compassion. "Listen," I said to Yang Pei, "you keep calling me 'artificial', what is that?" She spat disapprovingly, "I really don't know what these people think. You can't let the children be clean A few days."

When I walked into the ward, I saw that baby Yuan Liangliang holding a microphone solemnly and looking sincerely at the camera, "I want to thank all the people who care about me. I will always wait for the day of recovery with confidence. Life is beautiful, we all You should be full of hope..." The hostess with light blue eye shadow widened her eyes in surprise, "You're so good!" Long Wei rolled his eyes while laughing. The camera lens scanned every face in the ward like a machine gun, and Pippi's mother, the woman who always looked nervous, stood up awkwardly. "You sit down!" Yang Pei said, "They're just taking a picture, it's okay." Pippi stared at the camera seriously, and the hostess bent down, "Kids, auntie, can I ask you a question? ""Okay." Pippi replied blankly. "Do you want to go back to school? Do you want your teachers and classmates?" Pippi looked out of the window, disdainful of answering such mentally retarded questions.On the other hand, the goldfish-eyed little girl in the clinic answered obediently: "Yes." The hostess' eyes lit up, and she moved the microphone to her mouth, "Little friend, how old are you?" Her mother laughed aside, "She is four years old. , haven’t even gone to school yet.”

Pippi kept staring out the window.The sandstorm is coming.A gust of wind blurred and confused all the scenery.In a piece of yellow sand, only the willow tree in front of the window can be seen being torn into dancing movements one after another.The willow trees in the sandstorm are like street warblers, charming, vulgar, and tough. A week later, Pippi died. Later, when I saw this program on TV, they actually gave Pippi a close-up, avoiding the scene of the sandstorm, and focused on his staring expression, and a voice came out: "Let us remember the longing eyes of this child. "Desire?" I didn't see it, but what he was looking at was a sandstorm.Pippi on the screen reminds me of my childhood. At that time, I used to press the tip of my nose tightly against the window glass when the sandstorm came. The only awe children have for nature.

Then I remembered when I was in high school, many spring afternoons, I would be peeking at novels in class.I finished it in a history class with a sandstorm blowing outside the window.The old man smiled and said to himself: "Jellyfish, you bitch." This sentence caught my breath.The sky in the distance was cut open by the wind with a long wound.The whistling sound was deep, coming from the blood seeping atmosphere.Later, I thought, maybe the reason why I was moved was because it depicted the scowl of nature that I was familiar with, and the people who loved the scowl deeply.On the contrary, novels like, or "The Sorrows of Young Werther" have never impressed me, probably because I am not familiar with those European idylls-the kindness of nature.But at that time, I didn't have time to think so much, I was at a loss in front of the huge touch, and subconsciously grabbed Jiang Dong's finger beside me.

"Tian Yang," he whispered in my ear, "let go. I can't take notes." Jiangdong.Come to think of it, we haven't seen each other for seven years.I just heard that he went to Canada during the class reunion last year. In these years, I seldom think of Jiangdong.At that time, like all girls who became hypocritical because of their first love, I thought that Jiang Dong would be someone I would never forget in my life.Facts have proved how untested my love is. Although it is frustrating, Zhou Lei has a famous saying: "It is impossible for a person to be at the age of twenty-five and not forget the lover at the age of fifteen unless he is ten years old. Haven't evolved in years." So I'm not badly evolved.

When I was fifteen, during the New Year, I gave Jiang Dong a greeting card, which said: Jiang Dong, I like you.Then generously signed: Song Tianyang.He also generously walked to my desk after school that day and said: I will wait for you on the top floor.The so-called top floor refers to the astronomical observation room that is in name only.It was a holy place for lovers to date at that time.Then the next day in history class, he sat next to me as a matter of course. Just like most children who have been the first in the exam since childhood matured relatively late, if a relationship starts too smoothly, it will have to suffer more unprepared torture in the future.A week later, we started to quarrel. In order to avoid the eyes of the dean and teachers, the quarrels were often carried out in some inexplicable corners of the school. Once, just in time for school, he yelled at me in the bicycle shed, calling me Roll away, attracting the attention of all the noisy classmates in the carport.I also yelled at him loudly: "Jiangdong, you will regret it!" It's a pity that his name is not three characters, if it is three characters, this sentence will be more cadenced.Then I turned around and ran out.I knew he would come after me.

Head-on, bumped into Fang Kehan's beautiful and mocking eyes.I know what she is thinking, she thinks Jiang Dong and I are like children playing house.Of course, how can I be as sophisticated as her?Sleeping bitch. At that time, most of the quarrels with him were because of Zhou Lei.He felt that since I was already with him, I shouldn't always be so close to Zhou Lei. I told him that Zhou Lei and I almost grew up together. I can't stop my good friend just because I have a boyfriend. ;He said that I always fight with Zhou Lei, which makes him lose face in front of his buddies on the basketball team. Selfish and capricious, I said he was authoritarian and did not respect my human rights.In the end, I always turned around and ran, and he chased after me, and then wiped away my tears and went to eat beef noodles hand in hand. ——What is it if it’s not playing house?

I laughed when I thought about it.It's just that at that time, I never dreamed that one day I would take these as a joke.Grandma knocked on my door outside, "Tian Yang, are you still awake?" "Not yet." I said. "I forgot." Grandma came in and sat on the edge of my bed. "Are you on duty this Sunday?" "No." I replied, "Saturday and Sunday are fine this week." "It couldn't be better." Grandma smiled, "I was thinking, you go out shopping with me this weekend, we have to buy a little quilt, pillow, and clothes for your little brother. I don't know about that How old are the children's clothes? I haven't bought children's clothes for many years."

"Just ask my dad if it's okay?" "Your father doesn't pay attention to that. Besides, their French sizes are different from ours." "From now on, you and grandpa will be busy." I smiled. "Who says it's not," grandma smiled and shook her head, "but that's okay, let's have a little fun." "Just leave him alone, don't send him back, and relieve your boredom. But Chinese children have too much homework, which is hard for him." "Don't keep him. If you add your child in the future, your grandpa and I can't get along."

"I," I said emphatically, "it's still early." "It's getting late, Tianyang, I think Zhou Lei's kid has been really good to you for so many years, and this kid is also generous, kind, and from a family background...Isn't his father from a research institute? Okay, this This kind of person is gentle—it would be even better if I really got admitted to the graduate school this time..." Grandma fell into fantasy as usual.Since I graduated from university, she has counted every man I have spoken to in this way, and it seems that Zhou Lei's comprehensive evaluation index is the highest. "Grandma—" I elongated my voice, "It's getting late, you should rest earlier." After grandma went out, I turned off the light.By the way, turn on the radio: music program, April 1st, DJ wishes everyone a happy April Fool's Day, and then a special episode commemorating the first anniversary of Leslie Cheung's death-how it has been a year, I don't think so. I was a kid who grew up listening to love songs.We are all.Before we know love, there are already overwhelming love songs describing all kinds of love for us.Therefore, among the children of our generation, most of the first love is talked about according to the love songs he likes, when he is happy, when he is sad, when he is jealous, when he breaks up-there are too many different lyrics to pick up. To sum up my feelings, there are too many camera expressions in MTV for reference: when you are happy, just kiss him under the meteor shower. Your pocket money is enough; when you are unrequited love, you can stack thousands of paper cranes, although you are not as pure and beautiful as the girls in MTV; it is more convenient when you are sad, how many love songs have sad protagonists, are you willing to be there Running wild in the pouring rain or willing to drink and buy drunk is fine, but at this time you can't just see a little sister selling roses on the corner of the street like in MTV, and then feel hurt and cry aloud as a matter of course.Then in everyone's memory, first love will always exist as a love song: touching, lingering, and rhyming.Maybe there is still a label: Jacky Cheung, Sandy Lam, or Zhang Xinzhe, or whoever it is-I don't know whose songs the children listen to these days. So what about me? If my first love with Jiang Dong really could only be imitated like a cat and a tiger, then it can only be a farce even if there are bruises all over the body.Fortunately not.I vaguely felt that there was something between me and him.There is no love song that can help me summarize it and explain it, so I can't express it correctly, so I have to let it go, so "it" is quietly lurking in the dark night of my body, in the jungle of blood vessels.Like a little wolf afraid of fire.Let's call it "little wolf", it's quite kind. I was fifteen at the time and had no experience at all. When I was young, I went to the ancient city of Pingyao to play.My little aunt asked me to sit on the city wall to take pictures, but I didn't dare, she said you just don't look down.The city wall is a ring, five stories high, like a huge well.The cracks in the gray-black stone walls are covered with moss, and the sun shines faintly into the depths. There are still people under the "well".I stared at the camera, trying not to think that I could be smashed to pieces just by leaning back a little. That's right.That's what it felt like - that "little wolf".In fact, what I was afraid of at that time was not all about falling, but what I was afraid of was a momentary thought: I want to fall.I don't want to die at all, but I want to fall.The thought flashed so fast that I had no time to translate it into words.You are always afraid of things that cannot be put into words, because they are stronger and more alive than you. The little wolf would occasionally push me, and at that time I would hold Jiang Dong's arm tightly for no reason.He frowned and took off the earphones, "It's pretty strong." "Does it hurt you?" I feel sorry for my nervousness. "No." He smiled and patted my head, "Is it cold? How about we go." We are by the lake in the park, and we often come here after school.Sometimes kiss, sometimes chat, sometimes don't even speak, just sit. I rested my head on his shoulder, and there were not many people by the lake in the evening, especially when it was cold.We didn't say a word, an hour, an hour and a half... Time passed in the most primitive way.That absolute silence awakened my little wolf like the sunshine in spring, and I even felt its immature murderousness.I was in pain at that time.It's not a physical pain, it's from another place, like a heavy snow covering my internal organs bit by bit, I have to take a deep breath, and take another breath, but it doesn't relieve, on the contrary, I feel more Really heard its footsteps.I had no choice but to turn my head towards Jiang Dong, and said without thinking: "Jiang Dong, let's get married when we grow up." He just laughed, and he said what crazy things you said.I also find it embarrassing.Then I leaned forward gently and kissed his face.He sighed, "You." "Can I bite you again?" I whispered in his ear. "No!" He said bluntly, "When I washed my face last time, my mother asked why there was a tooth mark on my arm, and I had to say that I bit it myself. My mother thought I was crazy." "Then I'll be lighter this time to ensure that no teeth marks are left, okay?" Before he could answer, I bit down with all my strength. "Damn!" he yelled, "Go to hell, you, you just said to be gentle!" I'm sorry, Jiangdong, you don't know, the pain makes me helpless.I didn't even realize at the time that the pain was caused by you, because in reality nothing unpleasant happened.