Chapter 8 Chapter Eight Thousand Mountains and Thousands of Rivers

It's Chen Yan.I don't know what to think or how to react, I just remember that when I was watching her who was also panicked, I was almost blank, and a very ridiculous scene suddenly flashed in my mind, I stood on the podium and said Ask the students in the room: "Now let's assume that the situation that the uncle is sick and hospitalized can be ignored like friction, that is, we don't think about it, then the three people A, B, and C should do What is the reaction? In order to solve the problem, we must first do it—very well, of course it is force analysis, so now I would like to ask a classmate to come to the blackboard to draw for us the three people A, B, and C, or the relationship between the three characters. The force analysis diagram, this situation is more complicated, and the force analysis is easy to make mistakes, who will draw it?"

Whoever is going to draw, please help me, I can't draw anyway, teacher. "Xi Jue." My uncle called me from behind, with a horrified tone, like a child who has caused a catastrophe. I gritted my teeth, and there was a blank moment, like the dizziness of the midday sun finally passed, I thought about it—to be precise, I tried to think about it for a few seconds, but I couldn't think of anything, I I can only say: "Come with me first, Third Aunt can't handle it in the hospital by herself." "Oh. Okay. Let's go, let's go now." The uncle started to put on his coat in a panic as if he had received an amnesty, "Let's go, something happened at home, we have to go to the hospital immediately." He said it, but when he spoke, he seemed afraid to look at Chen Yan.

"Don't forget the key." Chen Yan had no expression on her face. "The key." The uncle said to himself, looked around, and made a search for it.I was the one who took the key from the desk and put it in his pocket, and for a moment I almost felt sorry for him, for his embarrassment in front of a woman.He is a person who wants to save face, I know it very well. I shut Chen Yan inside with all my might, hoping that the homely bang of the old door would wake me up from my nightmare. My uncle was worse than me. He took out the bunch of keys again and tried to lock the door. He had already sent the keys to the keyhole tremblingly. "What are you doing?" I said, "There are people inside." I said this deliberately, as if there were just random "people" who didn't matter.

He woke up like a dream: "I—" "Okay," I waved my hand, "Go to the hospital first." Uncle lay in front of me, fell into a very deep sleep, his face looked much fatter than I thought.Round like an animation character.A very strange purple-red color.The huge oxygen mask covered his red silky nose.His hair was already thinning, and it was only when I saw the Tianling Gai looming in his hair that I realized that I hadn't seen him for many years. He is so old.But he was fat, old, and sleeping, and he was much more lovely than when he was young. The aunt sat on the edge of his bed defiantly. I called her, but she ignored me.

Zheng Dongni's exquisite face shape and slightly sunken eye sockets are inherited from her, the former steel beauty.Most of the beauties with big eyes are scary when they are late, because the corners of her eyes will droop.Aunt is no exception, her skin is dry and full of spots.The hair is the same, it's not permed well, it looks astringent, even if it's washed, it still looks like the wind and sand from Longcheng.I believe that when she was at Zheng Dongni's age, she would never have imagined that one day she would allow herself to go out with such a face. The long sinking life wiped out all her delicate arrogance. , You can swear out ugly words in public anytime, anywhere.

But her back was still straight.Unlike most women her age, she subconsciously doesn't seem to be able to indulge her body so slack, which may be the only vestige of those prime years.She was silent, as if she had nothing to say, then she stretched out her fingers with thick knuckles, and carefully wiped away a speck of eye droppings from the corner of the uncle's tightly closed eyes.She scrutinized the filthy speck of human secretions for a moment, then flicked it delicately into the air. Then she gently grabbed the uncle's hand, she held the uncle's left hand with her own hands, and slowly rubbed it, it seemed that everyone and everything around her had nothing to do with her, the uncle said he was going to talk to the third My aunt went through the hospital procedures and paid the money together. I believe she didn't hear me. I dealt with a nurse who came in to explain the matter. She remained motionless during our conversation, as if it had nothing to do with her. Then I said to her: "Auntie, I'll go to the supermarket below to buy some toiletries." She woke up like a dream, and said in a daze, "Okay." When she said "Okay", she hugged the uncle's hand even tighter, as if she was holding it gently. A wounded bird.

When I went out, I heard her say softly: "You just drink the bar." Then, she smiled reproachfully. When all of us came back to the ward, she turned around, and a warm expression flashed across her sallow, dull face, and said to us quietly: "Thank you for your hard work. Everyone is tired, let's all go back." !" At that time, I suddenly realized that they were coexisting peacefully.After so many years of yelling, fighting, and humiliating each other, they can finally die down.He simply needs care all day long like a baby, and she is full of caressing tenderness like a mother.It's really an unaccustomed thing.

Still, everything is a matter of habit in the end.For example, I know that I will eventually get used to my aunt's meticulous care for my uncle. For example, I also know that I will eventually get used to my uncle being with Chen Yan now. But I don't want to think about it, I feel disgusted when I think about it-this is not rhetoric, it is really disgusting.A very violent force tore my stomach unreasonably.I don't have the strength to recall, much less the strength to use my brain to find a reasonable explanation for the incident.So I'm in the hospital a lot, and luckily there's a lot I can do right now so I can reduce the chances of meeting everyone.

I spent every night in the ward because someone had to take over for Auntie and give her a few extra hours of sleep.But as long as she's awake, I'm like a display.My aunt let me do almost nothing, and she did everything silently and methodically: scrubbing, turning my uncle over, watching the drip, feeding him what seemed to me to be similar to baby rice noodles, and cleaning up his excrement .The uncle wakes up while sleeping, and can't speak even when the corners of his eyes are open. He can't control his facial muscles, and always looks in a daze. Even his eyes are a pool of stagnant water day after day.And most likely, he could only babble like this for the rest of his life, with broken, meaningless syllables coming out of his throat constantly, with heavy hoarse panting sounds.

But the aunt always smiled, and responded to those scattered voices with seriousness: "Is it too hot, I'm sorry." "Itch? Where? I'll scratch it for you. No, it's not here, where is it? Don't worry, I didn't ask you to point it out to me. I know where it is. Really, there are quite a lot of things." "It's not delicious, and I know it's not. But what to do, you can't even chew now, who do you blame? It's so rare that you still worry about what I eat. My food is much better than yours. Are you Be jealous of me—" Even so, she was talking to herself, and she adjusted her expression subtly in accordance with the words.It's scary to watch that kind of scene too much, like a one-man show that never has a climax and never ends.

I don't think that old baby lying on the bed is my uncle.I don't seem to know him at all.When feeding him rice noodles, food residues would always flow down from the corners of his mouth, unimpeded all the way, and traces of pickled Yuezan would be drawn on his chin or cheeks.I was ashamed for him, but he himself maintained his sluggish application with confidence, and the aunt was also very confident.Wiping his mouth while laughing at him. Both of them seem to be no longer the bad parents they were before, but two old angels who have been relegated to the earth.Among mature people, clumsily maintaining their innocence and primitiveness, they have to turn their impotence into a solemn ritual in order to cheer themselves up. So one night late at night, I heard such a dialogue in a dim ward. First, the uncle made a meaningless "hiss, hiss" sound, but what was different from the past was that this time he was very stubborn and repeated this monotonous sound hoarsely many times. Then the aunt grabbed his hand, and said in a forgiving tone, "Don't dream. Dong Ni won't come back." Then she put his hand on his face, rubbing it back and forth. The voice of "hiss, hiss" became low, but it continued unrelentingly. "How many years have I told you," the aunt sighed very lyrically, "Dongni is your daughter, the child of both of us, that's right, I slept with that person in order to be transferred back from Qingping County, In fact, he is not a bad person, at least he didn't lie to me, he got what he wanted, and he really helped me - you know, at that time, she wanted to lie to me, a woman who had nothing but wanted to ask for help , how easy. I know—” she smiled tenderly, “the thing you men are most afraid of is losing face, but now you can’t come up and hit me. So I have to tell you, that’s what I think, I don’t I don’t hate him. Who wants to stay in that poor place in Qingping County for the rest of his life? Like you, you are stubborn and stubborn, and it doesn't make any sense, how could she be someone else's child?" I slowly retreated to the corridor outside the door of the ward. In the long corridor in the middle of the night, there will always be a gust of draft blowing straight in, penetrating my body. The corridor of the hospital is especially different. I firmly believe that there will always be Several souls who had just passed away passed me by without incident.Although I can't see them, I can feel the gentle breathing that the world calls "ghosts". At this time, I saw my uncle coming out from the depths of the light in the distance. Because of the light and shade, he had the illusion of being dusty. He said to me shyly: "I will replace you. You have been here for several It's night, go back to sleep." I nodded, and when he hesitated to speak, I took the initiative to say: "Uncle, this kind of thing, as long as you like me, it's not wrong, you don't have to think too much, at least I will never be like the past I have nothing to say to you when I confide in you like that. You have your own difficulties, and I have mine. " Then I came to the gate of the hospital alone.The Dragon City in the middle of the night collided with me like this.The street in front of the hospital is brightly lit every night.Snack bars all over the country stay quietly in their respective places, waiting for those who take care of the patients to come in for supper. Ordinary life will always give people a just right hug when they are exhausted, reminding you that living is a matter of life. Things aren't always that hard. Then my phone rang.A tired voice came from inside: "Xi Jue, it's me, I'm back." They all said that a girl will gain weight after going abroad, especially a girl who goes to North America. Fortunately, Zheng Dongni did not. Like a museum guide, I led her through the complicated corridors of the People's Hospital.She followed me without saying a word.I can't remember how many years ago the last time I saw her faceless.It seems that as long as she is awake, she wears makeup on her face.When she saw me, she smiled at me and said, "Laugh at me, I have become a real yellow-faced woman." In fact, she looks younger without makeup.Living in a small town for more than half a year seemed to make her simple.She wore a very simple plaid coat and a pair of flat boots, which set off her face more cleanly. We finally stopped at the door of the uncle's ward. She said, "You don't come in yet." I understood that she wanted to be alone with her parents for a while. But two seconds later, she ran out with a surprised expression: "Xi Jue, are you kidding me, I'm going to see my father." I was more surprised than she was. She smacked me on the shoulder: "What is that thing on the bed inside? It's a giant lizard. Where's my dad?" She stopped talking suddenly, and her face turned ashen in an instant. I squeezed her shoulders hard and encouraged her: "I'll go in with you." Uncle is still soundly asleep.His strangely colored and swollen-looking face was exposed on the quilt. At this time, the aunt appeared at the door of the ward, holding an empty washbasin in her hand. Seeing Zheng Dongni, the aunt nodded and said, "He will sleep for a few more hours before waking up. You follow Xijue back to the third uncle's house, and come back later." It seemed that she had no idea that her daughter had just traveled thousands of miles across mountains and rivers . "I'll wait for him to wake up." Zheng Dongni said coldly.Even if the members of their family are like this, they never address each other. "Let's go back first." The aunt smiled, "It's useless for you to be here, your third aunt will come later, you will be alone, and we will all be in the way." She said freely. "Actually, what are you doing when you come back? You are such an old man, but you still have no brains in doing things. Your third uncle and third aunt have been working hard these days, and they have to take care of you when you come back." I silently watched the absurd scene in front of me.Zheng Dongni stood there in embarrassment, and then, I saw that familiar thing in her eyes that was ignited by hatred for a moment. She straightened her back, raised her face, and said slowly, "Is his condition serious?" The aunt said indifferently: "He can't speak now, his face is paralyzed, and he can't walk very much. But the doctor said that if he recovers well, he can still walk with a cane-you don't have to look at me like that, I won't walk." If I ask you for money, don't worry, I can find a way to deal with it." "Really?" Zheng Dongni smiled brightly like she did when she was a girl, "Why isn't he dead yet?" The aunt didn't even raise her eyelids: "You can treat him as dead, anyway, I will take care of him, no one will drag you down. You go, you don't have to come back." "I said before," the deep lines around the corners of the aunt's mouth nervously loomed, "I'll live a day, don't even think about it. You'll be his daughter for the rest of your life, and it's useless if you don't want to do the appraisal, unless I die." "I won't give up," Zheng Dongni said viciously, "One day I will prove that I have nothing to do with this person." "Then whose woman do you want to be?" The aunt snorted contemptuously through her nose, "The man who had an affair with me is now the vice president of a big steel company, do you want to be his daughter? Let’s see if you are worthy. If you have both sons and daughters, why should you recognize you? Just relying on you, you went to Singapore to sell your lust when you were a teenager. Which prestigious family would dare to have such a daughter?” "To each other." Zheng Dongni raised her face, "It's not that you haven't sold before. I have watched this man beat you to pieces because you went to sell him since I was a child, crying for his father and mother. He didn't want any shame. In the end, he was full of shame. It’s talking for clients. You’re cheap. Just because you have the guts to let me call you mom?” The aunt smiled slightly, and put down the water glass in her hand: "If I didn't sell it back then, you could only wash people's hair in a hair salon in Qingping County today. You can sleep with you once for a hundred yuan. Where is it today? Can it be sold to the United States to earn dollar bills? Why don’t you call me mom? You have to know the source of drinking water.” For another moment, I was even glad that both my parents died. "Your mother got a B." Zheng Dongni narrowed her eyes coquettishly. "Keep your mouth clean, my mother is your grandma." I couldn't take it anymore, I hugged Zheng Dongni tightly from behind, she bit her lip and struggled stubbornly without saying a word.I whispered in her ear, "Let's go, let's go. I beg you. What's the point of that? This is a hospital." I forgot that people in their family have long been able to ignore the difference between public and private places.When I dragged her all the way out, I had to learn to ignore the eyes cast on us by the whole ward. I seem to hear the slight click of her shoulder joints all the time. We finally came to the garden of the hospital. She sat on the edge of the flower bed with a blank face, then hugged her knees tightly, and asked me sullenly, "Can you give me a cigarette?" I lit one and stuffed it into her mouth.Like a drug addict, she couldn't wait to inhale a big mouthful, and then she raised her face of defeat, her eyes full of helpless sadness. "You're laughing at me, you're making fun of me, don't you look down on me?" She stared at me deeply, then smiled suddenly, "But our family has been talking like this for so many years, it's not surprising at all, When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, my father told me that I shouldn't be named Zheng at all. I haven't changed a word." Her face was full of sadness and sweetness, "You haven't seen Xijue before, have you? Of course, your parents are engineers, and they are both educated and educated people. Do you know Xijue? When I was young, I envied you so much. I envied that you had a pair of parents who loved each other so much. I really would like to change with you. I don’t care even if I am an orphan, because being an orphan of your parents is not ashamed at all— —.” I knelt down, covered her knees with both palms, pressed them hard, and said, "It's all over, you've grown up now. You don't have to depend on anyone to live. You have been reborn." Understand? Don’t be afraid, it’s all over.” "Western Finals." She looked behind me in a daze, "I was thinking about it when I was on the plane, and I'm going to tell them personally this time that I'm pregnant." Tears welled up in her eyes, "But Once we meet, it’s still the same, I can’t say anything.” I snatched the cigarette from her mouth.Still trampled on the ground: "Then you still smoke!" I looked at her reproachfully. "Is it possible for a person like me to educate a child well?" She looked at me sadly, "So I must go for the paternity test. I am not a child of this family, I am not your uncle's child, I am definitely not Yes. I'm twenty-eight years old, and I'm going to be someone else's mother—but I don't know what to do, I'm such a selfish person. All I do is make up, eat, drink, spend money, I don't know anything but dealing with men, and my own parents didn't teach me shame. What can I teach my children—" she said nervously to herself, eyes It was so empty that I completely forgot about my existence. "Sister, sister—" Zheng Nanyin's vigorous voice came from a distance, and she ran towards us from a distance, with one hand struggling to restrain the strap of the slanted sports backpack on her shoulder. "Didn't I go out with my classmates for a few days during the National Day holiday?" She said out of breath, with an innocent expression, "I've only been away for a few days, why are there so many periods? Uncle, don't you?" Turned into a vegetable, brother? Why can’t you understand anything?” She probably noticed the tear stains on Zheng Dongni's face, she stretched out her arms exaggeratedly, ready to pounce over skillfully: "Sister——" I grabbed her arm next to her: "Be gentle, you can't be as gentle as before It's not heavy." Nanyin's face suddenly lit up with surprise. " "Really?" she cheered, "I'm going to be an aunt soon, right, sister?" I nodded, but Zheng Dongni was still dumbfounded.Nanyin bit her lips impatiently: "Really." Then she slowly squatted in front of Zheng Dongni, squinted her eyes and stared at Zheng Dongni's belt: "Little guy—" she smiled, "Little guy—— I'm my aunt." She stretched out her hand, and gently probed Dong Ni's stomach with her fingertips: "Auntie—remember, I'm your auntie." Zheng Dongni suddenly hugged Zheng Nanyin tightly.Zheng Nanyin also hugged Zheng Dongni skillfully. "Little rabbit, do you still remember?" Zheng Dongni's eyes were fixed on something behind me, and her arm suddenly exerted a strong force, holding Zheng Nanyin tightly inside her body, "Go up I started wearing bras when I was in the sixth grade. You want me to take you to buy them. Then you go to our downstairs and wait for me to go to the mall together. I want you to come upstairs, but you refuse to live or die, even if you want to be downstairs Wait, you said, I won't go to your house, I'm afraid of your parents, do you remember—" I bent down and touched her face nervously. "Zheng Dongni?" I called her. She ignored me, and continued talking on her own, with a strange bewilderment and fascination on her face. "They often fight for some very small things, the Western Conference Finals." She laughed.She spoke slowly, it was all the past, one after another, one by one, she remembered everything.Bit by bit, it was her deep-seated humiliation. Zheng Nanyin stuck her head out of her arms with great difficulty at this time: "Brother, brother, help me. She has been holding me like this, and I can't get out." She looked like a person who fell into the water struggling to break free A mess of aquatic plants. Nan Yin, who was rescued by me, asked me in panic, "What happened to her?" The two of us at our wits' end had to take her home first.She was very cooperative and followed us obediently along the way, but none of us could stop her. She kept talking in a very calm tone without any major ups and downs.But the sound kept coming.Get in the car, get off the car, walk in the community, press the elevator button, and go upstairs—her voice still started to oppress the nerves in my brain, Nanyin tried to put her hand on her forehead every two minutes, worried Said, "She doesn't have a fever." She curled up on the sofa, looking beautiful and lazy.But it is this laziness that scares us. "West finals, you know? Once they got into a fight over two thousand dollars. I don't remember what they were going to do with the two thousand dollars. My dad was going to the bank to get it, but my mother wouldn't allow it. My mother said That would lose the interest of the time deposit, so they fought each time, and no one would give in. After the fight, I'm afraid they would forget the reason. So I ran to my third uncle's house, I wanted to go Borrow two thousand yuan from my third uncle, because I am about to take an exam, I want to use the two thousand yuan to keep them quiet for a night and give me some time to read books. I have already walked to the door of my third uncle's house, but I I still didn't knock on the door, because I knew my third uncle would definitely lend it to me, so I felt ashamed, and then I went to find a boy in our class. I think he is too ugly, and I have been refusing to give him a good face. When I called him out, he was flattered, and I said that I will be with you now and talk to you as friends. You can do whatever you want, but you No matter what, he had to give me two thousand yuan. Later, he was beaten up for stealing his father's money, but as for me, I didn't keep my promise to be nice to him. I was with someone else the other day. When he questioned me, I said, do you have evidence? Why do you say I took your money? He must hate me. That was the first time I took a man The money, fourteen years old, once it starts, it is considered to have really started—" She laughed, laughing to herself. "I think every day that one day they beat each other to death. Why do they live so healthy all the time? After they die, I can be like you, with my third uncle, third aunt, and Nanyin Life." "The man told me that he was the manager. He gave me the microphone and said you go up and sing a song. If you sing well, I will take you to Singapore to make money. I didn't have any clothes at that time, and I didn't I know how to make up. But I just think that if there is no color on the face, the light on the stage will not look good. There is a lipstick on the bar of that bar. It is old, dirty, and a little bit It's dry. I can't tell what color it is. I painted it on secretly. But I tried too hard, and I don't know what happened, so I broke the lipstick. I was panicked at the time, so I quickly put it on The broken part was quietly put back, and the cap was screwed on. When I was singing on the stage, I kept thinking about the lipstick. I was afraid that its owner would come back and find that I did it. I finished singing. I think I must have screwed up. Sleepy didn't expect that the person asked me, is this really your first time on stage? It's rare that you don't pretend at all. The sad expression on your face is natural, unlike A lot of girls look like they're just pretending. Zheng Dongni finally watched quietly, two lines of tears slid down her cheeks very cleanly and quickly, she sighed, and I smelled a little "reason" that had come back after so much effort in her sigh.She looked into my eyes, and she said, "He said, I can be red. I can reverse all beings. But, I don't." After speaking, she closed her eyes. Before long, the sound of her breathing slowed down.I know she is asleep. Nan Yin helped her cover a quilt, then looked at me sadly and said, "Is she crazy?" "Crow mouth." I glared at her. At this time, the sudden ringing of the phone really annoyed both of us. Fortunately, Zheng Dongni just turned over on the sofa with some dissatisfaction, and was still asleep. "Western finals, I'm—I know you've been busy these two days. But I still want to find a time to have a good talk with you." I took a deep breath and said helplessly: "Chen Yan, there is nothing to say. You and I have already broken up. In principle, I am not qualified to ask who you want to be with." "Western Finals, I really have something to explain—" "No need to explain. I don't want to know anything." Chen Yan on the other end of the phone seemed to be making a lot of determination, and finally gritted her teeth and said firmly, "Then you know, I'm Tang Ruolin." The world fell silent within a second, and I thought it might be the sharp tinnitus that rang through my ears, helping me to cover up all the trivial noises in the real world.In this gray, wall-like silence, I heard her say, "Now, you want to come and see me, don't you?"