Chapter 15 Chapter 11 The Old Man in the Town

The snow has melted in my town.It all melted overnight.The red tiles on the roof showed cracks where dirt stuck.Shouldn't there be dirty water everywhere? ——The white snow will shrink, turning into small pools of water gathered like scars.Then, on the clean road, there will be a few footprints of stepping on sewage—but no, the snow seems to melt and evaporate in an instant, as clean as my town has always been in summer. The snow land, as gentle as a flock of sheep, was killed by the sun.Hanging in the back kitchen that none of us are likely to see, waiting to go into the oven. Once the word "kill" passes by, I mean, even if it flashes lightly in the vague subconscious mind in sleep, it will be like the tip of a knife, scratching a metal plate that appeared out of thin air in my heart.That screech would set my teeth on edge, make darkness suddenly descend on my head, make me cold, make me, like now, use all my strength and open my eyes like I'm in a catastrophe.

The time on the phone is 12:46, I remember I saw it once just now, it seems to be 12:38, that is to say, the dream in that small town lasted at most eight minutes.This has been the longest sleep I've had in five nights. The police asked me, "Did you see it when the car hit it?" They asked several times, just switching words.I said over and over again: "I didn't see it, I just turned my head when I heard the noise. That's when it all happened." The more I said it, the more I felt like a miraculous illusion.I don't understand the meaning of the sound coming out of my mouth at all.I began to suspect with horror that I must be lying, that I had seen it all.What to do Zheng Nanyin, you are lying.But what to do, anyway, the lie has already been told.

But I really forgot the crush that my brother added when Dr. Chen was already on the ground.However, it doesn't matter if I forget, there are many witnesses at that intersection. My sister stood at the gate of the Public Security Bureau, her lips were pale and chapped.Seeing me, she just said: "Wait, I'm going to drive, go home first, and get away from this ghost place." But my brother can't go home with us.He can neither sit behind the steering wheel, nor in the passenger seat, and certainly not in the back seat.But I always feel like he's in this car, I feel like he's there.My sister suddenly said: "I moved back with Xuebi, and my third uncle's car was towed away. It is always more convenient to have my car at home. The family also needs manpower now, and everything in the lawsuit is money. So I plan to sell the house." I really admire her, at this moment, all she thinks about is the most specific things.

She seemed to be talking to herself: "I have to call Jiang Hui immediately, and Fang Jinghui to see if they recognize any lawyers or people from the court..." I tightened my seat belt: "Sister, drive slowly I feel sick, I seem to be motion sick.” She turned her face and smiled very strangely—I don’t think a person should give such a complicated smile to other people’s motion sickness, she whispered: “Now, it’s up to us all People are exhausted because of him." This is all her evaluation of her brother's murder. Dr. Chen is not dead.Or rather, not yet.He was lying in the intensive care unit, using a ventilator to capture his brother's fate in his paralyzed hands.Cold-blooded people will win no matter what.

When I knew this, I thought with relief, this is good, if you don't die, my brother is not a murderer.That's the only thing I care about right now. I went to Mom and Dad's room and sat next to Mom.I said to her seriously: "Mom, that Dr. Chen is still alive. He suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and fell into a deep coma. The people in their hospital are trying their best to save him." She ignored me completely, so I had to continue, "You Don't worry about mom, I believe that Dr. Chen will not die, so my brother will not be..." By what?I dare not say it out of my own mouth.Sentenced to death.Arranging these four words in order and thinking about it in my heart is already my limit.

Almost a hundred hours have passed since the incident happened.Mom is sick.She's been lying there looking at the wall opposite the bed, not eating, not drinking, not talking—and according to Dad, she's not sleeping much, so she must be sick.Dad had no choice but to ask a friend to come to the house to give mother a drip, so that glucose and saline dripped into her body alternately, and an old coat rack in the living room was brought in to hang the bottle.I didn't dare to look into my mother's eyes, so I had to stare at the soft infusion tube.Like a grape vine, it winds up, but at the end is the glass bottle that doesn't look like a grape at all.

"Mom, just trust me." Normally, I would say this in a softer tone, but now, I don't have the strength anymore. "My intuition is very good. You see, the last time Dad did it I just had a premonition that he must be fine, but it turned out not to be fine. It’s the same this time. You all said I was the luckiest, and I’m sure I can share all my luck with you all.” Two short lines of tears slid down the corners of her eyes, along the temples, and disappeared.But there was still no expression on her face, it seemed that it was not tears, but leaked out because the infusion was too full.Grandma pushed open the door and walked in unhurriedly. Grandma should be the only one who didn't know what happened, right?No, maybe there are also Beibei and Zheng Chenggong.Grandma waved at me and motioned for me to go over.Grandma said: "Come out, let her sleep, don't disturb her."

Grandma, you are so smart.You know mom is actually pretty much asleep right now, right? Chen Yan was sitting in the kitchen, on the chair that her mother usually sat on.However, the stove was quiet, and a few tomatoes were placed next to the sink, but there was no sign of them being cooked.she is crying.And totally don't mind me watching her cry.I stood in front of the refrigerator and watched her profile for a while.At the moment, I don't feel embarrassed because I know she won't either.Compared with the terrible incident that smashed a deep hole out of the ground, all the little emotions will be like leaves in late autumn, and they will fall off without knowing it.

"I don't believe it's true, Nanyin, do you believe it?" She said quietly.She, like me, had run out of time to add any meaningful tone to what she was saying.It turns out that painting emotions on one's own language like painting colors is also a physical effort. I don't know how to answer her, I can't say, I believe this is true more than any of you. "It must have been a mistake." Chen Yan shook her head, two tears fell on her pants, "Xi Jue...he must have been careless, he was impulsive so he was careless..." She I didn’t notice that the logic of this sentence is very problematic, “It’s just an accident, it’s an accident, no one wants it to happen, we can apologize to the family, negotiate with them, and lose money. As a murderer?"

The police told us that the elder brother himself admitted that he bumped into it on purpose.But he wouldn't say why he did it. "Nanyin, why?" The index finger and middle finger of her left hand were put together, and she wiped away the tears streaming down her chin. How could he?" I honestly whispered, "I don't know." But I wasn't lying, I really didn't know how to explain it. "When can we go see him?" Chen Yan turned to look at me, as if thinking of the real problem, the tears stopped temporarily. "I don't know." In the past few days, everyone has actually asked everyone this question, and everyone answered it to everyone, "They said that he will not be able to see us in the detention center until the official verdict comes down. .”

Hearing the word "detention center", she dodged her eyes for a moment, and I knew that she should cry again. I seem to hear my phone vibrate.It seemed that there was a sound similar to the flapping of the wings of a wasp faintly haunting in the direction of the back of my head.I know that's impossible.Because the night I came out of the Public Security Bureau, I locked it in a drawer, and it kept chattering and vibrating there. Half of the dozens of missed calls were from Su Yuanzhi, and the remaining half were from my classmates in the university. And my classmates from high school in the past - they read the news, or the newspaper, these heartless people, my TV has not been turned on for several days, and we all ruled ourselves in jail - no more Access to outside information qualifications.As for turning on the computer and surfing the Internet, that is even more unthinkable. So how is it possible that my phone is still vibrating?I remember turning it off because it pissed me off, made me think of those deadpan vibrations as a defiance laced with contempt.I turned it off, and turned it on again after more than ten hours. When the text messages rushed in, I gritted my teeth and turned it over to pull out the battery. Logically, it shouldn't vibrate anymore, right?Then the voice in my ear now—I shook my head, straightened my back, and found that I had been leaning against the refrigerator unconsciously.It's from the refrigerator. That's right, sometimes the refrigerator makes a faint "humming" sound when it's running. My sister walked in, holding Beibei skillfully in her arms. She pretended not to care about Chen Yan's red eyes, and said to us: "It's time to eat." Her voice was still full of vitality, and she relied on this voice overnight Became the head of the family, "The takeaway shop across the street is getting worse and worse, it puts so much oil, but no one cooks, so I have to make do with it." Beibei is not as obedient as Zheng Chenggong, and is serious in his sister's arms Struggling, her sister's arm got stuck on her leg, so she completely resigned herself to paddling in the air with her arms open, as if preparing to skydive. When I sat at the dinner table, I found that I could still hear the sound of my phone vibrating.I picked up a chopstick of green vegetables as if I was dealing with some necessary etiquette, and then said to myself: "It's a sleeping box." But I didn't give up, so I had to raise my head and ask Sprite on the opposite side: "Did you put the battery in my mobile phone into it?" I went back, and then turned on the phone again?" Sprite rolled her eyes at me: "I have nothing to do..." Then she seriously said to her sister, "Can I not go to school tomorrow?" "It's up to you. "My sister stared at her indifferently while serving everyone rice——but, the expression of my sister's staring eyes is no longer so fierce. Can't all of us live as righteously as before?Xuebi whispered: "Everyone in the school is spreading that newspaper. They all know that it is from our family. Fortunately, I am not in elementary school now. Uncle Xijue always went to school to pick me up..." It was the uncle who was talking: "Then don't go, please take a few days off, the teacher should know what's going on." - The uncle should have not spoken much for several days, Chen Yan has to take care of Beibei, So at night, I will still take Beibei back, but my uncle will stay here, with all of us, just like when I was a child. My mother always complained that this new home was empty. Now, finally, every room is full of people. My sister and Xue Bi shared the room that Zhao Zhao used, and my uncle... just lived in my brother's room. This arrangement is just right, like Someone filled up this room for us like doing a crossword puzzle—my sister said that there must be something wrong with the Feng Shui of this room. "Grandma," said Sprite, "I'll watch TV with you at home tomorrow, and you can ask me if you don't understand anything." Grandma calmly answered irrelevant questions: "It's unpalatable. The chicken is too old. So the guests left, She refuses to eat at our house." Grandma has made progress, at least now she feels that she is in "our house" and does not need to ask everyone "what's your name".The guest that grandma mentioned refers to the person who came to the house to help mother with the infusion.He is a friend of Dad and a doctor in another very small hospital.But people don’t want to stay at our house for dinner, not because of the chicken, but because he is embarrassed—he probably doesn’t want his colleagues to know that he comes to help my mother get infusions every day, and it’s all for friendship with my father— After all, our family has become the enemy in the eyes of doctors and nurses in the entire Dragon City. Dad is discussing with his sister about finding a lawyer.Dad said that the lawyers he had contacted were all in charge of civil litigation, and they dealt more with economic matters. As for criminal matters, he had to ask others to help introduce them.The sister said: "I have been calling Jiang Hui for the past few days. She will also help." Dad suddenly sighed: "If... don't talk about it." I know what is behind the "if". If sister Jiang Yi hadn't left her brother, wouldn't everything have happened? I heard the sound of the phone vibrating again, this time it was very short, like the notification tone of a text message.The landline in the living room rang suddenly, I ran to answer it, the caller ID was Su Yuanzhi's cell phone number, I stared at this number in a daze.Gently lift up the earpiece, like picking up a little rabbit's ear, afraid of it hurting, just lift it up a little, then put it back.Then I went back and sat down at the dinner table as if nothing had happened.Dad asked: "Who is it?" I said: "I don't know, no one talked when I picked it up." The uncle said: "Everyone should be careful these days, and don't answer unfamiliar numbers." Su Yuanzhi is not an unfamiliar number.But I don't know how to face him.When my father talked about "lawyer", I wanted to remind him that Su Yuanzhi's father was a lawyer and was in charge of Zhao Zhao's father's case, but for some reason, I still wanted to pretend that I didn't remember it. One night and four full days have passed since Dr. Chen flew up at the intersection, and now, the fifth night is coming.After several days and nights of upside down black and white, everyone finally fell asleep.We sneaked a peek at Mom, who finally fell asleep too—shock, shock, sadness and despair all overwhelmed by sleep.When the sun comes out, they will join hands and unite to make a comeback.I closed my eyes, then opened them again, sat up, and opened the drawer—this small white European-style table was newly bought, and the brass handle still exuded a fresh fishy smell.My mobile phone is lying there walking dead, the battery next to it is its unfinished tombstone.I looked at it a little sadly, you, the batteries have been taken out, you still don't give up, why are you still vibrating in my ears at this moment? I vaguely saw the streets of my small town.Although there was no snow, I was sure that was my town.I can finally feel happy, because as soon as I see it, I know that I am going to sleep.A big lock was added to the door of the kindergarten, and the kindergarten was already empty.But the old man who sells windmills appeared again.I haven't seen you for so long, and I suddenly feel nostalgic in my heart. "I thought you were dead." I was direct enough to speak in my dream, without all the waking conventions. He spat a mouthful of phlegm on the ground in front of me, and the wall of the splendid windmill behind him collapsed.It didn't collapse suddenly, it first cracked an irregular gap in the middle, then separated crookedly towards the two sides, and finally bounced and scattered all over the ground, a pink and yellow one happened to land on the pile of thick phlegm.He looked at me viciously and cursed something I didn't catch, but I knew it was a curse. ——The first time I heard him speak, it turned out to be Longcheng dialect, and it was very old and pure. "Believe it or not, I asked my brother to kill you?" I yelled at him, "Anyway, killing one is killing, killing two is not much!" Then I opened my eyes again.Even if it was a dream, I am sure that those terrible words came from my mouth.More importantly, at that moment, I didn't feel that it was wrong at all.The heart struggled a few times coldly, like a fish thrown onto the chopping board.Isn't it just killing, isn't it just death, isn't it just raising a knife and dropping it? I curled up, and the tip of my nose seemed to be sweating, as if—my mobile phone was no longer vibrating in my mind. It turns out that arguing with the old people in the town still has such an effect.I always thought that he was my Santa Claus; I always believed that the windmill on the entire wall was given to me, and it turned out to be just an invader.It turned out that the invaders were nothing more than that. "Nanyin? Did you have a nightmare?" I heard my sister turn the door open, "What are you shouting for? Go to bed soon." It's rare for her to be so gentle, but unfortunately, in her gentle tone, the phone started to vibrate again. "Sister, can you come here?" She lifted my quilt, lay beside me, and hugged my shoulders tightly: "Sleep. It's okay. Just fall asleep." "Sister, I can't sleep." I skillfully got into her arms.Let her breath blow the hair by my ear, and also blow the sound of the mobile phone vibrating on the eardrum.I can't do anything about it, so I'm going to show my favor to the head office, right? "Be good." She patted me on the back a little stiffly, "Don't think about anything, it's useless to think about anything, you understand? You and I have to be brave, so that the whole family can hope to work hard together, otherwise, the Western Jue What about that idiot? Close your eyes and count." "This is already the fifth night. I don't believe that counting is useful, sister, let's not sleep, shall we?" "Nan Yin?" Her breathing was obviously rapid, "You mean, you haven't slept for five days?" "What's all the fuss about?" I muttered, seeming to be exhausted even to utter a clear voice, "Even my brother can kill someone, so what's the big deal if I don't sleep for five days?" To me, There is nothing big going on in this world now. "Oh my God." The air seemed to stagger back a few steps in her throat, "That idiot, when God is an addict... so, tomorrow morning, I will take you to the hospital, okay, let's find a doctor Let's see, I'll give you some sedative medicine." "I don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to go to the doctor, they will definitely find a way to poison me." The reason I act like a child is because I can't keep calm after hearing the word "hospital". She suddenly hugged me tightly, I didn't know she had so much strength. "Bastard." Her gnashing of teeth became more vivid in the darkness, "You are happy now, you are happy, you are satisfied, look at the good things you have done..." She suddenly smiled weakly, "He is finally I did one thing for myself, but why is he so stupid." "Sister, I think it's my fault." I raised my face and habitually looked for her eyes that I couldn't find. "Don't say stupid things." "Really, let me tell you one thing, I am in Zhaozhao..." I closed my eyes, using the darkness in front of me to dissolve myself in the darkness more thoroughly, "Zhaozhao's last few days, you understand me Interesting, once, I went to find her, and I saw Dr. Chen there. Do you think that since Zhaozhao has been discharged from the hospital, why would Dr. Chen appear at the place where the patient lives... I told you, she is Zhaozhao I really like Dr. Chen, because Dr. Chen saved her..." "And then?" I knew she had lost the patience to listen. "Then I told my brother about it. I planned not to say it but I said it anyway. I said it on the last day, when the two of us were rushing to the hospital to pay Zhaozhao... followed closely Zhao Zhao died." I took a deep breath, "Sister, is it my fault? Is it if I didn't tell my brother about this, maybe he wouldn't do that? He would hate Chen so much Doctor, besides because he didn't save Zhaozhao in time, is it also because... he felt that Zhaozhao was being bullied? Sister, do you think it will be." When she sat up suddenly, there was a gust of wind: "Did you see the two of them on the bed?" "sister!" "Tell me, did you see it? Do you have any proof?" "I just saw Dr. Chen there, I..." "I didn't say that, I just said—" I huddled myself into a tight ball, as if to get away from her voice. She slapped me hard, on the side of my face that wasn't buried in the pillow.But at that moment, I just smiled weakly to myself, she hit me, let's get used to it. "Sister, what about you?" I whispered, "At that time, if you hadn't told my brother that he was not a child of our family, do you think he would still do this?" "What nonsense, what does that matter?" Her voice also lost the usual irritation. "It does. If you didn't tell him about it, if it wasn't because he knew that he had nothing to do with our family, he wouldn't be so lonely in his heart, and he wouldn't like Zhaozhao so much. He just likes Zhaozhao too much. meeting……" My sister said quietly: "Enough." She lay down again, next to me tightly, seemed to hesitate for a moment, or put her arms around my head and rested it on her chest.Neither of us spoke.I know she cried, but I didn't, I closed my eyes, I know I have to get used to another life from now on, the content of the new life includes: Even if you close your eyes obediently in the dark, you can't wait for sleep, like Indulging the constant vibration of the cell phone in my head like a temperless mother, allowing myself to temporarily forget my brother's fate and lying to myself that I didn't lose him even if he was taken to the execution ground, and then let the "guilt" be as sudden as sleep. Between the absence and get used to that dry thirst deep in the brain. Of course, it also includes, no longer believe that tomorrow will be better. On the eighth morning when I didn't fall asleep, I was finally dragged to the hospital by my sister forcibly.Of course, she couldn't choose the affiliated hospital of the medical school. She almost took me to the other end of the entire Dragon City.The two of us dodged the path to the scene of the crime the way we had avoided the scalding hot pots in grandma's kitchen as children.She had to stop midway because I nearly puked in her car.While patting me on the back, she said, "You also passed out in a car when you were very young, maybe you don't even remember it." The morning sun was very good. I stretched my five fingers against the sun and found that they were slightly numb.I bit my lip in an attempt to calm the storm in my internal organs, and suddenly felt that I seemed to have forgotten something. "Sister, what's the date today?" I asked. "Ghost knows." She was wearing huge sunglasses, and I couldn't see the mocking sneer in her eyes, "What's the matter?" "I just remembered that school should have started, but I haven't gone back yet. But it's nothing." The female doctor was about forty years old, and she smiled at me very gently.I also smiled at her in panic, with a flattery.She asked, "Did something happen most? Or, stress?" The female doctor was about forty years old, and she smiled at me very gently.I also smiled at her in panic, with a flattery.She asked: "Did anything happen to you recently? Or, is there a lot of pressure?" My sister replied instead of me: "Something happened at home."——"Things" is really a wonderful word.The homicide can be easily referred to the past, and it is not a lie. After taking the medicine, you need to observe. If you can fall asleep, it’s fine. If you still can’t fall asleep, and the sleep disorder lasts for more than two weeks, you must come back. "I'd like to know, brother, if he can sleep now—he doesn't have a bed as comfortable as at home. Yes, sleep may be a small thing right now, because he has ruined his own life. But right now, I only care about one thing." The thing is that I want him to live. Compared with this, it is not so difficult to accept that life is ruined. Brother, no matter what, please fall asleep on time no matter what.Don't be as embarrassed as I am.Sleep is fair to everyone.Compared with the darkness in front of the prisoners, the darkness in front of ordinary people has no special texture.So you have to sleep well, but don't dream.Don't dream about us.Especially don't dream about us in the illusion that nothing happened - otherwise you will be very sad when you wake up. I dare not miss you. " "After sending you home, I have to go to the store." My sister started the car neatly, "Now the store's business is very important to everyone. I have a task for you. Today, you are at home. Try to persuade your mother to start eating, even a little bit, you know? Fortunately, grandma is accompanied by Sprite, and that girl is really useful sometimes..." In the last sentence, she resumed her words the habit of talking to oneself. "I know." I nodded vigorously.I now understand how brave my sister is. She chewed up the truth and swallowed it without asking any reason.He even refuses to give himself a little time to figure out the ins and outs - it seems that it has become a luxury. My father and uncle are busy with my brother's affairs all day now. My sister has already asked a real estate agent to appraise the value of her home. She wants to sell the place we are already familiar with, and then bring the money back to my father to prepare for it. My brother’s lawsuit, and compensation to Dr. Chen’s family—we always say that her living room is big enough to play badminton, but we never really tried it, and it was about to be sold. The TV in the living room is on, it's an advertisement.But there was no one on the sofa—you can’t say that, Coke was lying peacefully between the two cushions, with the remote control resting on her little head. "Grandma, this is oil. Here is the salt. Forget it. I'll hold the salt shaker for you. When you want something, I'll hand it to you. No way, you'll treat salt as sugar..." In the kitchen It was Sprite's voice, "The oil is not hot yet, grandma, wait a minute, listen to my password, I can only put it in when I say yes, okay..." Grandma was standing by the stove, where a small flame had been burning for a long time.She firmly picked up the bowl on the table. Sprite had already cracked two eggs into it, so grandma only needed to break them up with chopsticks.No matter how the memory fades away, grandma is still skillful in cracking eggs, just like in a dream, maybe in the tens of seconds of cracking eggs, she is so peaceful that she doesn't need to distinguish the difference between the present and the past. "The oil will be hot soon, grandma." Sprite said.Grandma raised her head and said to Sprite very clearly: "Scallions." "Grandma, what do you mean?" Sprite stared in surprise. Grandma also looked at her in surprise, as if she wasn't sure what she just said. "Sprite," I reminded from the side, "Grandma means to add a little chopped green onion, right, grandma..." "Understood! Grandma is amazing, she is a chef!" Sprite ran to the balcony to look for green onions, but when she saw Sprite happily holding up a shallot and turning on the tap, grandma's expression was obviously a little puzzled, maybe The memory barrier made her unable to understand the relationship between this bearded green onion and the chopped green onion in her mouth.Xuebi put the washed green onion on the chopping board, and cut it into two with a knife: "Grandma, can you still use a kitchen knife? That's it, the chopped green onion is cut." Grandma put down the bowl hesitantly, then picked up the knife and looked at it carefully.It's like identifying all the old people who seem to have known each other but can't be sure.Her fingers wiped the blade delicately, and very solemnly, she placed the knife on the green onion leaves.Cut off a piece, and then take the piece that rolled to the side and cut it again.Repeating this split into two tirelessly, what is cut out is not green onion, but more like a pile of green and white confetti.Her eyes gradually focused on the pile of paper scraps, she looked at Sprite and said, "Nannan, are you ready?" She didn't know that her tone at the moment was exactly the same as when she was teasing me to play hide and seek when I was a child.I was hiding in a cabinet that smelled of camphor, and her voice came in muffled: "Nannan, are you alright?" I pushed open the door of my mother's room. "Mom, mom, do you know that grandma is actually cooking today? She can actually cook. Grandma is amazing. Although it's just scrambled eggs with tomatoes, grandma..." Mom stood by the bed with a calm expression on her face. with a quilt.She finally changed out of the outfit she had worn for a week. "Mom?" I looked at her, "Did you not have an infusion today?" She looked at the half-full bottle on the bedside table: "I pulled out the needle myself." "Then..." I suddenly felt that there was no need to say anything more, "You come out and we have dinner together? Although there is only one dish, it was cooked by grandma." She put the pillow back in its place and said, "Okay." This is great, although the vibrating sound of the mobile phone still refuses to let me go. We all heard the doorbell ring.I heard Sprite go to open the door, maybe Chen Yan came back with Bei Bei?It's hard to handle now, there is only one dish, is it enough for so many people?But I must share this matter with Chen Yan, and now I am willing to chat with Chen Yan.Brother should be happy to know. It was as if there was a powerful magnet hanging next to my heart. When I thought of my brother, all the joy I had struggled for was sucked away in an instant.My footsteps are becoming slow, and my voice naturally sinks. My whole body is like the weak wings of a dragonfly, but I still have to resist it desperately.no choice. My brother was still wearing the same white shirt with blood on it. The person standing outside the door was not Chen Yan.I froze for a moment before realizing who he was.Li Yuan.That hostile stranger. He looked at me with some embarrassment.He said: "I only have Teacher Zheng's phone number, not yours, so I have to come here." "How do you know my family is here?" I forgot he was a stalker anyway. "Zhao Zhao was cremated this afternoon, do you want to go and have a look together?" He stared at the wall behind me. I wanted to say there's something to see there, but I said, "I'll go."