Chapter 12 postscript

Finally bid farewell to more than 300 days and nights accompanied by cigarettes and tea.From the time I conceived this novel in 1997 when I was in high school to writing it after receiving the university admission letter in August 1999, I am afraid I will never be able to express what kind of torture I have experienced during this period.If a metaphor can be recognized by readers, my difficulties may be understood: creation is like giving birth to a child. You feel that it is gradually formed in the belly from a sudden inspiration and struggling to come out. Being under heavy pressure and being suppressed abruptly, and the pressure lasts for several years, this feeling... It doesn't matter if you don't talk about it.As for the pain I endured in writing during the year since I started writing, it was simply the sweetest and happiest pain in my life. What can I complain about?

The most enviable are those professional writers, text professionals. But for my soft belly, I still know it well, so I have to look at the ocean first and sigh. I don't want to say anything more about this novel, "I" has said enough, which is really a taboo in this business.But since this is the "postscript", I am in an absolutely safe position, and I will not be sniped if I say a few words. What I regret most is that I failed to render the fate of the protagonist Meng Chaoran into a complete tragedy, leaving no hope for the readers. He must be destroyed, and there is no other way.This is not because I am cruel, nor is it infiltrated with the tragic spirit of ancient Greece.His tragedy is inevitable: a genius, especially a genius, is born into a system, and he must bear the various disadvantages brought about by this system—even if most people enjoy its advantages.

However, this story is over.When he faced Qinhe and wrote the long poem, his spirit, strength and talent had reached their peak, and the story could no longer happen again.For me, it is undoubtedly futile to continue, it is the end of the dog.There is nothing more to write about this character.This is contrary to the original intention of my conception, as if he already has life and consciousness, and uses his talent to make a final blow to God, to resist the tragic ending that awaits him.To him, I am God.There is nothing I can do. The thing that bothers me the most is the flash.For this character, I have a complete story and a complete personality in my conception, which is quite full, but in my novels, love is never a theme, and there is only one theme: fate.So, I was caught in a difficult choice.Wherever the mind goes, where the pen goes, the result is the image felt by the readers: the icy cloud floating in the place where the vision cannot reach.She is a real life: attracting people with her mystery and nobility, it seems to be far away, but suddenly it is close, but it can't be grasped when it is close, and it is hard to grasp it, grasp it, and grasp it. Knowing that he caught pain, he stabbed himself and slipped away again.This is all she left behind, and it is undoubtedly superfluous to let her leave other impressions on readers.

The above can be said to be an example of the author's inability to control his own story. Chen Jian 2001.3.21