Chapter 24 22. Love I Can't Give

It has been like this for more than a month. I often go to help them fool around a few times. In retrospect, I am so enthusiastic because of Xiaojie. Xiaojie is the second woman I have ever loved. As long as I have time, I will go to the magic class to play with her, go to the movies and go shopping together.After a long time, she also knows what I do, but she doesn't mean to underestimate me at all, she is so kind to me. What a happy day!I made it clear that I wanted to date her, but she never answered me directly. I thought she acquiesced in our relationship.Eat, drink, play, how to live happily, never think about the real problems of house, work, and how to live in the future.

In 1999, she left that magic teaching class and entered a street office.I have less time to go to the magic class, so I go to the street office to find her if I have anything to do.At that time, the sub-district office was fashionable to jointly enforce the law. It was free to chase hawkers all over the street with a group of industrial and commercial, health, and urban management staff. Many people wearing big hats often went to that sub-district office.It didn't affect our dating in the slightest. I often went to watch all-night movies with her. We held hands, hugged, and kissed. At that time, in my heart, she was my object.

Later, she changed jobs and was transferred to the comprehensive law enforcement team. The members of the comprehensive law enforcement team were drawn from various departments and streets, and she was in charge of logistics.I still go to see her often, she works in a very dignified place, and the attitude of the people there is very bad, I feel that she is being treated as a vase.She changed to a new unit and started to get busy. I asked her out, and she always said that she would accompany the leader to socialize outside. I met the leader once. He was an old guy who was about to enter the earth, with a big belly and big glasses. Anyway, it's pretty annoying.Later, she and I gradually faded away, and it was difficult for me to ask her out.

After more than half a year, we only talked on the phone occasionally, and I asked her out to play several times, but was rejected.I was a little surprised when she came to me suddenly, because I hadn't seen her for a long time. We made an appointment to meet in front of a movie theater at noon. When she appeared in front of me, I couldn't believe it. She was dressed more fashionable than a city girl, and she was completely different from Xiaojie in my impression. She insisted on inviting me to dinner, and went to a very high-end hotel. There were only the two of us for that meal, but she ordered a lot of delicious dishes and spent more than 800 yuan.I still remember her paying the bill without batting an eyelid.

I'm a little confused, did she take the wrong medicine? After dinner, she insisted on pulling me to go shopping with her. In the mall, she saw a very expensive suit and pushed me to the fitting room without saying a word. After I tried it on, she paid for it and bought it. It's no use refusing.My second monk, Zhang Er, was puzzled and had nothing to say: "Why, did you get rich?" She laughed, very bitterly.When Xiaojie smiles, her nose will wrinkle up, which is very beautiful.She said, "You don't need to worry about it, if you tell you to wear it, you can put it on, don't worry about it."

She bought me a lot of things that day: watches, ties, suits, shirts, leather shoes, bags, and insisted that I change them on the spot. That day, she held my arm very gently, and she went shopping one after another, stopping when she encountered a stall selling men's products, and weighed which items were suitable for me, as if she wanted to buy something for me that would last a lifetime.I was being manipulated by her like a fool. The two of us walked around the mall all afternoon, and Xiaojie was desperately shopping. When it was dinner time, I was really tired from shopping and proposed to eat.She took me to a western restaurant, watching her skillfully use those knives and forks, I suddenly felt that she was so strange.

It was the first time I went to a western restaurant to eat western food. She patiently taught me how to use a knife and fork when I was clumsy, carefully explained how to cut meat without making a harsh sound, which one to eat first, and which one to eat first. After listening to her say so many rules, I was sweating nervously. We also ordered some wine that day, and she drank a little too much, laughing and crying for a while, and everyone around looked at us with strange eyes.I had a premonition in my heart that she was leaving me. She put down her wine glass and looked at me quietly: "I'm getting married, I can't be with you." I was already mentally prepared, so I congratulated her and asked, "What does your husband do?" Her eyes were complicated, Slowly said: "My husband is 24 years older than me, and has been divorced before." I was surprised, and fixedly looked at her: "So old?"

She smiled wryly and said: "I don't care! I used to work everywhere, and I couldn't save a penny after working so hard for a year. I don't want to leave this city. My hometown is too poor. Really, I swore from the time I was sensible. Leave there. But I really left my hometown and went out to work. I didn’t expect it to be so difficult to gain a foothold in this city. I felt very tired. He took my parents and my younger brother here, and paid him to take the exam. I got a driver's license and found him a good company as a driver. I'm getting married next month."

There was a silence.I don't know what to say, my mood is very complicated, I like her, but what can I give her?Can you give her a house of her own?I am still homeless myself, living on renting a house without a job, relying on scams to swindle money, and I don’t know where to eat the next meal... The more I think about it, the more I feel inferior, and I also started drinking. That night, we all drank a lot. After drinking, I took her home. We stopped near a neighborhood. It was time for her to get off. She asked me, "Would you like to sit up for a while?" I said, "It's very late. Let's do it another day." Without saying a word, she glanced at me, closed the car door and left.

On the way back, the taxi driver said to me: "Little brother, why don't you go up and sit?" I just realized it, but what can I do if I go up?Will she call off the engagement and get back together with me?Could it be that she hasn't made up her mind yet?To this day, I still can't figure out whether it was a feeling of relief or regret. Until now, I don't know whether to sit up and sit for a while or just end it like this. Later, I lost contact with Xiaojie, her paging stopped, and we never met again, but I knew she must be in this city, and I always hoped that one day I would run into her on the street.But when we meet, what can we say?

I can't give her a stable and prosperous life, just like I can't give Xiaohe the life she wants.At that time, I was very inferior.Now I just catch a cheater and make a lot of money. When I can give her a lot, we have nothing to do with each other.