Chapter 8 Chapter 6 I am an autumn tree
I can’t help but shed tears when I write this, although it’s been more than a year, I’m already in a prison in the United States, the scene at that time is still vivid in my memory, the pain is so real, so real that it hurts my heart...
It is now 8:00 am on September 19, 2009, at Shawshank State Prison, Cell 58, Section C.
It's time for an hour of wind every day.
I stuffed the little book in the drawer.The cell door was automatically opened, and the old Marcos walked out of the cell with his arms moving, and I followed him to the corridor.Many people ran out of the cell next to me and rushed past me, but they were warned loudly by the prison guards in the monitoring window on the upper floor. About half of the prisoners in Block C are black, and there are quite a few Latinos, and there is only one Oriental like me.
After passing through a long corridor, there are three solid iron gates on the way, which are opened and closed in turn to ensure that no danger occurs.
Watched by a dozen prison guards, the last gate opened—and I saw the ground.
In the land of Arsland State in the western United States, you can see the snow-covered Rocky Mountain peaks hundreds of miles away.The prison playground is big enough to play a game of American football.But on the edge of the playground are two high walls, and a few meters high live barbed wire, and there is a sentry tower every 50 meters. The guys on it are said to be very good at marksmanship.
Hundreds of prisoners entered the playground, greedily breathing the fresh air and enjoying the sunshine of the western plateau.Some immediately ducked aside, carrying on their secret dealings.And there were people who came together, and they were gangsters in the prison.
Someone patted me on the shoulder from behind. It turned out to be Bill, holding a basketball and pointing to a worn-out basketball hoop.He was a white-collar worker on Wall Street. The company went bankrupt in the economic crisis. He ran all the way to Arslan and shot and killed his boss.We nicknamed him "The Howler" because he howled in his cell every night.I was silent for a moment, then snatched the ball from him suddenly, and made a layup in a blink of an eye.
A tall black man stepped out from under the basket. He clapped his hands and said, "Brother, count me in."
His name was Washington, a surname commonly used by African-Americans, and he was in prison for robbing seventeen supermarkets.
Me, Bill, and Washington played basketball for tens of minutes in the corner of the playground.I was sweating and got blocked several times by the six-foot-plus Washington.Some people gathered under the basket to watch us, but no one dared to get close, afraid of Washington's fist.
After the briefing was over, the prison guards drove all the prisoners back to their cells.
Back to cell No. 58 in Block C, wiped off the sweat on my body, sat down and opened the drawer, and opened my little book, where I just wrote "I ran away with tears all the way..."
Then write my story -
Midnight stroll. I was bailed out of the police station, but escaped from my parents.I didn't know how long I walked in the dark night, only to find that there was a lot of noise ahead, with countless neon lights flashing, large and small signboards lined up on the side of the road, and the singing of the band from time to time. Hengshan Road is full of various bars, and the luxurious nightlife has just begun.Many people on the side of the road were soliciting business, especially a young single man like me, who became the object of greetings from everyone.I didn't pay attention to it at all, as if the bustling city that never sleeps around me had disappeared, and I walked into an empty desert, but I couldn't see the starry sky when I looked up. I'm a little dazed, my fist is still aching, what's wrong tonight?My mother said that I had never been so impulsive, and I had never fought since I was a child. It was the first time I was so irritable, and it was also the first time someone was beaten with blood all over my face. How stupid!At that moment, I completely lost control, but now I regret it.Even if that guy is really not human, I don't need to do this. Instead of getting the money back, it will hurt myself instead, so I can only bear the consequences silently. "High energy!" Someone was calling my name, and I turned around in a daze to see a young woman.The neon lights illuminated her pretty face, and I frowned in thought, but couldn't remember where I'd seen her. "What? Forgot me? I'm Ma Xiaoyue." She smiled and walked up to me, shaking her long hair that smelled of perfume. "Ma Xiaoyue?" The name seems familiar—yes, my old classmate "Tang Seng" told me that our former monitor, Ma Xiaoyue, was also a school flower back then, and I even had a crush on her! "I——I remembered, you are my high school monitor?" Only then did he realize that his body was a little dirty, and there were traces of fighting on his face, so he lowered his head and said, "The world is really too small." Ma Xiaoyue was also very surprised, and looked me up and down: "I really didn't expect to see you again, it's been seven or eight years since I saw you." "Ah, how are you doing?" I tried my best to hide my downfall, and dared not face the person in my dream of first love (if secret love is also considered first love), but unfortunately she never knew. Under the flickering lights at midnight, she noticed something was wrong with me: "Gao Neng, what's wrong with your face?" Not daring to look her in the eyes, he turned his head and said, "No, it's nothing." A silver BMW 530 long-wheelbase version roared over and stopped beside Ma Xiaoyue. "Gao Neng, I'm leaving first, goodbye!" She opened the door of the BMW and got in. The driver was a young man who gently pinched her face. I didn't say anything, I took a few steps back with low self-esteem, and watched the BMW drive Ma Xiaoyue away. Behind him is a small bar, and Xu Wei's songs are played and sung by the guitar.I had nowhere to go on such a night, so I simply went to the bar and ordered a glass of dark beer to relieve my worries.Sitting in a corner away from the bar, clutching a sore fist, knowing that I can't handle alcohol at all, but raising my glass and gulping it down - at least it's better than finding someone to fight. After pouring himself two cups, he felt his head swell, his whole face seemed to be on fire, and his heart beat several times faster.While listening to the singer playing and singing, I counted my pulse silently. Alcohol anesthetized my nerves, but it could not alleviate the pain in my heart at all. Instead, it was like a dark pond, sinking me deeper into the water. When I was about to be overwhelmed by drunkenness and sadness, a woman walked into my dim sight, and I subconsciously called out: "Ma Xiaoyue?" When she sat next to me, I realized that it was another face. Even in the dim light, in spite of my drunken eyes, I recognized her after a few seconds. Unbelievable, it's her? A typical face of Chinese and Western mixed race, long chestnut hair faintly shining under the light, deep eyes like black holes attracting attention - this face was still with the general manager yesterday, and it came to the depths of the bar tonight. The name is ready to be pronounced, but it is no longer a business attire, but the latest jeans and a T-shirt, with a shiny crystal pendant dangling on the chest.She is as tall as a foreign girl, but she is not as bloated as that, instead she has a Chinese slender waist. I rubbed my drunken eyes vigorously, and couldn't believe my memory: "You...you are?" "Don't know me anymore? You were late for the company meeting yesterday, and you interrupted the general manager's speech, so I remember you." "Meng Ge?" Even though I was anesthetized by alcohol, I still said her name—the latest assistant to the general manager of Sky Group China Branch. "You can also call me by my English name, Monica." She pushed a wine glass in front of me, and I shook my head in fear and said, "No...I'm...drunk...can't...drink any more." "It's not wine, it's cold water." It turned out that it was for me to hangover. I gratefully took the cup and drank it up: "Thank you! I really didn't...I didn't expect...to meet you here." "Me too." Monica smiled wildly in front of me, "By the way, what's your name?" "Gao Neng, sell...sell seven... Gao Neng." I was so drunk that I couldn't finish the sentence completely. "What a coincidence, the first time I went to a bar in Shanghai, I met a colleague from the company." She asked the waiter to pour me a glass of cold water, "Do you often come here?" "No!" I drank the water in another gulp, "This is... the first... the first time I've come here." "GOD! What a coincidence we are!" She noticed the marks of a fight on my face, "What's wrong with your face?" Monica speaks Chinese a little strangely, and with her mixed-race appearance, she must have grown up in the United States. "Oh, it's okay...it's okay..." After drinking two mouthfuls of cold water, he still couldn't dilute the alcohol in his blood, his head was so uncomfortable that it was about to explode, and he felt violent stirring in his stomach, and he vomited uncontrollably. I vomited the undigested cloudy dinner on the bar floor along with the beer and gastric juices.Monica dodged in surprise, then held my shoulders and called the waiter to clean up. While feeling uncomfortable physically, I was also ashamed in my heart. I actually made a fool of myself in front of the assistant to the general manager of the company!He almost vomited the filth on the beautiful woman, let alone looking up into her eyes. "OK! It seems that you are not suitable to come to the bar. I will take you home now." "No...no...no need...thank you..." Monica helped me up with the waiter, can't remember how I got out of the bar, it seems like she shoved me into a taxi.I read the address subconsciously, with my head resting on the cold car window, unable to see the face beside me clearly.The special smell of perfume, accompanied by slightly moist hair, wafts between my nostrils.His mind was filled with mud, and he spit out a few words indistinctly: "Lan... Ling... Wang... Lan... Ling... Wang..." The car stopped in front of my house, and when I turned around, I saw a figure of a woman, who got into the taxi again and went away.
The next day, in the morning. Waking up in the morning, I was completely sober, regretted being drunk again, and my muscles and joints were sore all over my body.I apologize to my parents: I shouldn't have left them and escaped alone last night, everything was my fault, I'm an adult now, and I can't let my parents worry anymore. Sitting on the subway, I turned on my phone. I have the habit of turning off my phone before going to bed. As soon as I opened it, I saw a new text message. The sender was actually Fang Xiaoan. His text message was very long—— "Gao Neng, I'm sorry, I regret that I heard your secret on the moonlit night on the island in the fall of 2006. I even regret being involved in this matter again recently. For the night of training on the island last month, please accept my sincere condolences. Apologies. Lu Haikong's suicide was his own fault, I'm afraid Yan Han has turned into a ghost, and then I will go to another world, farewell!" After reading this text message with a length of more than 100 characters, I almost dropped my phone on the ground. What exactly is Fang Xiaoan trying to do? Immediately called Fang Xiaoan, but what I heard was "The user you dialed has turned off the phone". shutdown?Or off people? I read this text message again and again, it was sent at four o'clock in the morning, and it seemed that every word was soaked with tears of regret. He came to the company restlessly, lowered his head to hide the scars on his face when he entered the door, but was called into the office by Mr. Hou. "You are such an idiot!" In the past, Mr. Hou kept the door closed, but this time he opened the door so that everyone could hear it. "Sorry." I could only bow my head silently, presumably Mr. Hou already knew what happened last night. "Even if the customer is a beast who makes thousands of mistakes, we salesmen must never fight with the customer. Do you know what it means to endure humiliation? If you keep the green hills, you are not afraid of no firewood! Gao Neng, do you know that this kind of customer is not human, I bump into a bunch of them every day, you think I'm not bothered? You think I don't want to beat them up? Every night I fantasize about stuffing these bastards down the toilet and cleaning their mouths with poop!" Mr. Hou uttered a few bad breaths, and said what was in my heart, but he changed the subject: "Even if you want to treat your customers to shit, but for your sales, you still have to treat them to a big meal! Even if you want to scold them badly, but for your work performance, you still have to flatter them! Even if you plan to smash their heads every day, but for your year-end bonus, you still have to be hot-faced Stick their cold asses!" This is the way to sell?I felt a little disgusted, but I nodded against my will: "Yes! Yes!" "Customers have thick skins, but we must have thick skins as well! Customers have dark hearts, but we must have darker hearts than them! This is called thick black science. Didn't you teach it in your university? You have to study hard!" President Hou spoke dryly, took a sip of tea and said, "Gao Neng, if you can't handle this mess, then just wait to be fired." Hearing the last sentence, I suddenly raised my head, and from Mr. Hou's contemptuous eyes, I saw what he said in his heart—— "I've never seen anyone more stupid than you, you really are a fool! Hurry up and eat shit!" Mr. Hou's mouth did not move, but passed directly to my brain through his eyes.I have become numb to this language, silently endured the insult to me, bowed my head and walked out. My colleagues were all looking at me, mostly with excited expressions, and saw another good show—as long as I wasn’t the one being scolded. My face was flushed and I looked at the two poor little turtles, both of whom I recently learned were male.Today they are very active, they keep climbing to the top of the fish tank, and then keep sliding down, back to the bottom of the fish tank.Suddenly with a wry smile, he grabbed one of them and crawled around in the palm of his hand. What is the difference between it and me?The same is at the bottom of the fish tank, and the same dreams of climbing out of this small cage. It wants to go to nature, find its beloved female tortoise, and find the world that belongs to them.I also want to climb out of this small office, to the place where I can really show my fists, to my big house and car, to the side of a beautiful girl... Put the little turtle back into the fish tank, and the voice of Lao Qian chatting next to me, and the sound of Tian Lu typing on the keyboard quickly, almost burst my small head. I changed my MSN signature today to "in the fishbowl".
Today, Fang Xiaoan did not come to work. Before the company called his home, his family called the company first - Xiaoan Fang received a call in the middle of the night yesterday, and immediately left the house in a hurry. It turned out that the accident occurred in the sixth sales department, the manager Lu Haikong committed suicide, and the salesperson Yan Han disappeared.Now it seems like the plague has infected the third sales department, Fang Xiaoan, who was originally honest and responsible, has also disappeared, and the situation is exactly the same as that of Yan Han. The sales department fell into panic again. No matter how much the company was under the pressure of layoffs, no one dared to stay and work overtime at night. The hour hand has reached nine o'clock in the evening. I wandered alone in the street and kept calling Fang Xiaoan, but what I heard was that the phone was always turned off. Unknowingly, I arrived at the gate of Tian Lu's community, and a Nissan sedan drove by, which looked familiar.A man and a woman got out of the car, and the lights shone on their faces. One was Tian Lu, and the other was? It was indeed him—Mr. Hou! He hugged Tian Lu's shoulders, smiled and lowered his head to kiss her.Tian Lu fell into his arms, unscrupulously affectionate, like a lover in love.My teeth chattered, I hid myself in the dark, I squinted to see clearly.Mr. Hou's hand even reached into Tian Lu's clothes, what happened next was unspeakable, and then the two walked into the building. Mr. Hou is obviously a married man, why did he hook up with Tian Lu in the blink of an eye?They kissed like no one else, obviously not every day or two, compared to Tian Lu's expression that night, now she looks more like a slut, the kind that doesn't hide at all.No wonder everyone in the sales department is in danger these days, but Tian shows up and sits on the Diaoyutai without changing his face. It turned out that he hugged Mr. Hou's thigh. I forgot which floor Tian Lu lived on, and stood downstairs at a loss.When the cold evening wind hit, my heart burned like a raging fire, and I lingered stubbornly in the darkness for a long time. Fortunately, the security guards here were useless. after an hour. Mr. Hou and Tian Lu got out of the elevator, and Mr. Hou walked into the Nissan car and drove away. Tian Lu returned to the elevator door, and I suddenly walked out from the side: "I saw it all." She was startled, thinking that she had run into a robber, she leaned against the wall, not daring to make a sound, and looked around for the security guards. "It's me, Gao Neng!" Tian Lu only recognized who I was, and was still surprised: "You! How could it be you!" "Me?" I tried to lower my voice so as not to really attract the security guards, "I want to ask you, why is it him?" "You mean Mr. Hou?" Her tone also calmed down, "I have been with him for two years." "you--" I really wanted to say "shameless", but seeing Tian Lu's indifferent expression, I couldn't say anything. "I want to ask you, why are you following me secretly? Do you think it's my boyfriend? Do you think we really have something?" Faced with Tian Lu's disdainful expression, my face flushed red: "No matter what the relationship is, I just want to know. What happened to me and you a year ago?" "Hey!" She sighed, "Gao Neng, you are so persistent! I just feel lonely occasionally, so I just grab you to play with me. Have you forgotten? The few nights we had, we all It was when Mr. Hou was on a business trip. Don't be surprised, I will never be responsible, and I don't need anyone to be responsible for me. I have many boyfriends, and you can't even rank tenth. " Trembling all over, I stared angrily into her eyes. Yes, I saw it, from Tian Lu's indifferent eyes, it was directly transmitted to my brain, and I read her true heart—— "Gao Neng, you are just a male dog that no one looks up to, but everyone has a heat, and when I can't find a man, I can also find a male dog to accompany me HAPPY HAPPY!" Even if she was killed, she wouldn't tell me, but her eyes leaked it quietly. At the same time, she was saying: "I'm sorry, Gao Neng, maybe I once liked you, maybe I had some good times, but that is already in the past, we can continue to be ordinary friends." What she said in her heart and what she said in her mouth are completely different tones and versions, and her eyes tell me that she is lying. I can't believe the beautiful lies, but the words in my heart are a great insult to me.Blood rushed to the top of her head and pushed her to the elevator door.She was so frightened that she couldn't say anything, but I put down the fist I just raised. Such a woman, why bother?I turned and rushed out of the building, flagged a taxi and left before she could yell at security. It is no longer the escape in the middle of the night the day before yesterday, but a resolute departure, not a separation from the day, but a severance from the night. Lying in the taxi with her eyes closed, the words in Tian Lu's heart were still in her ears—male dog, am I a male dog? The only gain is that I know that I have a special ability: through the eyes of others, I can see the truest thoughts in the other person's heart. This is an ancient and mysterious ability, maybe it is related to some kind of magic, maybe it is the unsolved mystery of the human body, maybe it is the terrible car accident that year?Due to the violent blow to the head, I became a vegetable and lost all self-memory.Did the impact have side effects on the brain?Let me have the ability to see through the hearts of others?Although it sounds incredible, the human brain is too amazing and complex to rule out the possibility of this happening. Mind reading... mind reading... mind reading... No, I can't let anyone know of my ability, including my parents.Because in this world, there is nothing that I can trust anymore, even if I am worthless, as long as others discover this, I will immediately become their target.What I get will be a lie and a trap, even if I can see it's a lie, what's the use?Anyway, I couldn't hear the truth, so why bother with their lies? Yes, I am determined to hide my mind-reading ability, because only by hiding in a dark corner can more secrets be discovered. No more tears tonight.
water. On a cold night, I was still a boy of fourteen or fifteen years old, wearing thin clothes and white sneakers.Walk through the forest path without moonlight, and come to the lake in the forest.The wind blew on my emaciated body, almost knocking my whole body down. I opened my eyes wide in the darkness, but I couldn't see the forest on the other side of the lake, where there was a faint light hidden. Under my feet, the dark green water turned black, and I subconsciously took a few steps forward. The shoes were soaked, and the cold water seeped into my trousers, soaked into my calf, and penetrated into the blood vessels through the capillary pores. The taste of water. Pulling me to go deeper into the water, the water gradually spread from my knees to my thighs, then my waist and stomach, and then my chest which is not broad.The bottom of the water is covered with smooth pebbles, but there are no small fish and shrimp as imagined.Going forward, the lake has flooded my neck, and finally my lips, moistening the soft beard of a young man. Finally, the water was over my head. I awoke from a nightmare when dark, cold water poured into my trachea, choking me so much that I couldn't cry out. It was that dream again. I opened my frightened eyes, only to find myself lying in a small room opposite a poster of Michael Jackson.Sweat covered his entire body, even his underwear and panties were soaked, as if he had just been scooped out of the water. Damn—did I really commit suicide by diving in my dream? This nightmare has been entangled for half a year, but now it is developing in the most terrifying direction.I hurriedly turned over and got up, looking at my face in the mirror, sweat was dripping down. I went to the bathroom to take a shower, then lay back on the bed - I don't have to go to work today, I asked the company for leave, I'm going to the hospital for an examination, and I called Dean Hua last time to make an appointment. I slept until the sun rose, and hurried out after lunch, took a bus bound for the suburbs, and traveled for more than an hour to the Pacific Chinese-American Hospital. Dean Hua has been waiting for me for a long time, and the nurses there also know me and greet me all the way in. It feels like returning home. This feeling is much more comfortable than going to work-but I hope this is the last Come here once. First do routine examinations: body temperature, blood pressure, EEG, ECG, CT scan, and the results are all normal. In a spacious and bright room, Dean Hua and a female assistant treated me personally.Let me lie on a bed, with soft piano music playing in my ears, and warm and soft lighting, which makes me completely relaxed.When I was most sleepy in the afternoon, I almost fell asleep lying down like this. "Gao Neng." Dean Hua stood beside me and stretched out his hand in front of his eyes, "How do you feel now?" "Very...very good...this is the most relaxing time in half a year." "Well, you said you fainted suddenly, is it for no reason, or is there something special?" "I...I..." I blinked my eyes hard, but I didn't want to tell the secret of mind reading, even Dean Hua shouldn't know, "I had an argument with someone, I was very emotional, and suddenly passed out, But soon woke up again." Dean Hua put his hand on his chin, looked down at me and asked, "Just once?" "I don't know, maybe there are others." "Gao Neng, you have intermittent coma, but you can't be sure whether it's related to the car accident a year and a half ago. I'm going to give you more in-depth psychological treatment now, are you willing to accept it?" I had no choice but to lie on the bed and nod my head: "Yes." "Okay." He gestured to the female assistant, then bowed his head and said to me, "Please relax a little more." Although the piano music was still playing on the stereo, the melody and tone had changed.In particular, the tone is deeper and the melody is more tortuous and changeable, which obviously has the European style at the beginning of the last century.As if coming to the Austro-Hungarian Empire in 1910, passing through the rugged mountains of Bohemia, it is a huge and chaotic city on the Danube River, where the chimneys of steam civilization spit out black roses.In the damp and cold cafe, the Jewish youth Kafka sat alone, his black eyes were so melancholy, he had just finished writing a heavy love letter, and what awaited him was an inexplicably long lawsuit... "what do you want?" A voice seemed to come from far away in the sky. There was still a Viennese cafe in front of me, but a Turk was sitting opposite, staring at my eyes, unable to hide myself anymore—what do I want? "Women...young women...beautiful women...pure women...smart women..." "Gao Neng, you answered very well, but I guess you want more than that. Tell me, what else do you want?" Can't refuse, I can't refuse his question, the cafe is full of smoke, I have to say: "The house, a big, big house. I don't want a rat's nest, and I don't want to live with my parents. I want a big house that belongs only to me. The house. It must be very beautiful and fully functional, with at least three floors and 1,000 square meters, not counting the spacious yard outside. Every day when I go home, Filipino maids will bring me slippers, and the big guard dog will come to welcome me. A ten-square-meter bathroom is for me to take a shower, and a private screening room is for me to watch movies, and it would be even better if there is a swimming pool.” "Yes, I want a house like this too, what more do you want?" The Turk was wearing a red felt hat, and I looked him in the eyes and could only go on: "Cars, I must have one, no, three cars. One is a BMW 760 touring car to go to a Forbes dinner One is an Audi Q7 SUV, which can be used for long-distance travel and adventure. The last one is a Porsche—no, it is a Ferrari convertible sports car, which can take my woman for a ride at a speed of 200 kilometers per hour at one o'clock in the morning!" "Well said, you can be my good friend, you want wealth and women, you also want power and honor. Everyone will respect you, everyone will give way to you, and even fear you. As long as you are happy, you can make many people flourish. As long as you are not happy, you can also make more people bankrupt." "Yes, but I still want to...I still want to...kill..." "Kill what?" "kill!" Although I was sitting in a cafe in Vienna, I saw a loess-covered sand field, thousands of war horses neighing, iron and leather armor covering the knights of the northern kingdom, the sun pierced through the layers of dark clouds, and illuminated the sharp iron spears. cutting edge... "What do you see?" "Devil——" I suddenly changed into an iron armor and was surrounded by thousands of horses. "I saw a devil's face, riding a snow-white war horse, brandishing a spear and rushing towards the enemy. He The appearance is too terrifying, undoubtedly from the oldest hell, everyone was frightened to shit, and then there was a bloody killing." "Who did you kill?" In an instant, many people's faces flashed before my eyes, including the face of the man who followed me twice, the face of the "man" whose head was beaten bloody by me, and Mr. Hou's smiling face Face, Tian Lu's frosty face, and countless other faces that I know or don't know... All the faces made strange expressions at me, but finally laughed out loud. They laughed so unscrupulously, as if they were Watch a clown perform. And I am this clown with white paint on my face and a red ball on my nose. "You all go to hell!" I struggled to cry out, then lay down helplessly. "What else do you remember? Like—your past?" "past?" When I think of these two words, I feel a dull pain in my brain, as if being deeply pierced by a needle, and my body jumps up like an electric shock.I fell heavily on the ground, but in front of my eyes was a white world, with warm lights shining on me. "Are you OK?" The female assistant helped me up, and I shook my head: "It's okay! I had many dreams, dreaming that I was in Vienna a hundred years ago?" "This is our psychotherapy, hoping to get to the source of your fainting, which may also have something to do with your past." "Thank you!" I wiped the sweat from my brow, "But, I want to go home now." A few minutes later, when I walked out of the hospital gate, I realized that the treatment had lasted until late at night. After dragging our tired feet, we took the night bus back to the city.Mom called me and I said I was almost home.Under the starry sky at midnight, the car swayed and drove for a long time, looking at the lights on both sides of the road dimly, like many pairs of eyes behind black gauze. The driver kept playing the radio, and at midnight, a magnet-like voice suddenly sounded: "I am Qiu Bo, and you are welcome to turn on the radio and enter 'Life in a Mask'." It's this show again, and I've memorized this sound, absorbing my hearing like a sponge. There was no one in the bus at midnight, only some middle-aged people returning home from the night shift, some drowsy, some sitting in a daze, only the soft voice from the radio, wafting in every corner of the bus. "At this moment, what are you doing? Are you still wearing that heavy mask? Or have you taken off the mask, lying alone in your own den, licking the wound left by the day? Well, Miss Wu, please speak... ..." This is a midnight talk show, every listener who calls in can confide their distress to the host.The host rarely interjects, let alone make moral judgments.The real protagonists are the audience who call in, and the moderator plays the role of the listener. After answering the two calls, the host Qiu Bo said, "Now I'll listen to a song for everyone, by Zhang Yusheng." With a simple piano playing, the inimitable and unique voice sounded in the airwaves—— "I am an autumn tree / The few leaves seem a little lonely / Occasionally swallows will fly to my shoulders / Describe the rush of the world with singing..." Hearing the second sentence, my heart was pulled up, and the eye sockets were moistened reflexively.I tried desperately to hold back, but it was difficult to suppress the secretion of tear glands.These ancient liquids rushed out of the eyes, washed the dust on the cheeks, and slid down from the cheeks to the back of the hands.I can't understand my tears, but my heart has been thrown into the singing, the eternal helplessness, the unbearable sadness.I am surprised that there is such a singing voice in the world, and I am also surprised that there are such feelings in the world——
Haunting the bus at midnight, like a ghost that never leaves, came to my ears and sang quietly.His voice is sometimes calm and sometimes passionate, sometimes desolate and sometimes warm, never fighting or giving up, never giving up, like a tree passing by the roadside, so lonely and so desolate, but enjoying his own world alone, no matter the change of day or night, Regardless of the alternation of spring, summer and autumn and winter, no matter how many centuries and how many reincarnations. At the end of the song, my tears were not over. To be precise, I was crying bitterly—all the passengers in the car were staring at me, probably thinking that their wallet had just been stolen.Tears are still hanging on my face, I can't explain why I am so excited, just because of this first Yusheng song?In the memory of the last six months, it was the first time I heard this song, and it was also the first time I heard Zhang Yusheng. Why did I suddenly have such a strong reaction?The eternal telepathy is like a fuse, blasting open the secret door of oblivion. After getting off the car, I wiped away my tears and looked up at the mysterious starry sky, wondering what will happen tomorrow? Tomorrow, I will go to Hangzhou.
Midnight stroll. I was bailed out of the police station, but escaped from my parents.I didn't know how long I walked in the dark night, only to find that there was a lot of noise ahead, with countless neon lights flashing, large and small signboards lined up on the side of the road, and the singing of the band from time to time. Hengshan Road is full of various bars, and the luxurious nightlife has just begun.Many people on the side of the road were soliciting business, especially a young single man like me, who became the object of greetings from everyone.I didn't pay attention to it at all, as if the bustling city that never sleeps around me had disappeared, and I walked into an empty desert, but I couldn't see the starry sky when I looked up. I'm a little dazed, my fist is still aching, what's wrong tonight?My mother said that I had never been so impulsive, and I had never fought since I was a child. It was the first time I was so irritable, and it was also the first time someone was beaten with blood all over my face. How stupid!At that moment, I completely lost control, but now I regret it.Even if that guy is really not human, I don't need to do this. Instead of getting the money back, it will hurt myself instead, so I can only bear the consequences silently. "High energy!" Someone was calling my name, and I turned around in a daze to see a young woman.The neon lights illuminated her pretty face, and I frowned in thought, but couldn't remember where I'd seen her. "What? Forgot me? I'm Ma Xiaoyue." She smiled and walked up to me, shaking her long hair that smelled of perfume. "Ma Xiaoyue?" The name seems familiar—yes, my old classmate "Tang Seng" told me that our former monitor, Ma Xiaoyue, was also a school flower back then, and I even had a crush on her! "I——I remembered, you are my high school monitor?" Only then did he realize that his body was a little dirty, and there were traces of fighting on his face, so he lowered his head and said, "The world is really too small." Ma Xiaoyue was also very surprised, and looked me up and down: "I really didn't expect to see you again, it's been seven or eight years since I saw you." "Ah, how are you doing?" I tried my best to hide my downfall, and dared not face the person in my dream of first love (if secret love is also considered first love), but unfortunately she never knew. Under the flickering lights at midnight, she noticed something was wrong with me: "Gao Neng, what's wrong with your face?" Not daring to look her in the eyes, he turned his head and said, "No, it's nothing." A silver BMW 530 long-wheelbase version roared over and stopped beside Ma Xiaoyue. "Gao Neng, I'm leaving first, goodbye!" She opened the door of the BMW and got in. The driver was a young man who gently pinched her face. I didn't say anything, I took a few steps back with low self-esteem, and watched the BMW drive Ma Xiaoyue away. Behind him is a small bar, and Xu Wei's songs are played and sung by the guitar.I had nowhere to go on such a night, so I simply went to the bar and ordered a glass of dark beer to relieve my worries.Sitting in a corner away from the bar, clutching a sore fist, knowing that I can't handle alcohol at all, but raising my glass and gulping it down - at least it's better than finding someone to fight. After pouring himself two cups, he felt his head swell, his whole face seemed to be on fire, and his heart beat several times faster.While listening to the singer playing and singing, I counted my pulse silently. Alcohol anesthetized my nerves, but it could not alleviate the pain in my heart at all. Instead, it was like a dark pond, sinking me deeper into the water. When I was about to be overwhelmed by drunkenness and sadness, a woman walked into my dim sight, and I subconsciously called out: "Ma Xiaoyue?" When she sat next to me, I realized that it was another face. Even in the dim light, in spite of my drunken eyes, I recognized her after a few seconds. Unbelievable, it's her? A typical face of Chinese and Western mixed race, long chestnut hair faintly shining under the light, deep eyes like black holes attracting attention - this face was still with the general manager yesterday, and it came to the depths of the bar tonight. The name is ready to be pronounced, but it is no longer a business attire, but the latest jeans and a T-shirt, with a shiny crystal pendant dangling on the chest.She is as tall as a foreign girl, but she is not as bloated as that, instead she has a Chinese slender waist. I rubbed my drunken eyes vigorously, and couldn't believe my memory: "You...you are?" "Don't know me anymore? You were late for the company meeting yesterday, and you interrupted the general manager's speech, so I remember you." "Meng Ge?" Even though I was anesthetized by alcohol, I still said her name—the latest assistant to the general manager of Sky Group China Branch. "You can also call me by my English name, Monica." She pushed a wine glass in front of me, and I shook my head in fear and said, "No...I'm...drunk...can't...drink any more." "It's not wine, it's cold water." It turned out that it was for me to hangover. I gratefully took the cup and drank it up: "Thank you! I really didn't...I didn't expect...to meet you here." "Me too." Monica smiled wildly in front of me, "By the way, what's your name?" "Gao Neng, sell...sell seven... Gao Neng." I was so drunk that I couldn't finish the sentence completely. "What a coincidence, the first time I went to a bar in Shanghai, I met a colleague from the company." She asked the waiter to pour me a glass of cold water, "Do you often come here?" "No!" I drank the water in another gulp, "This is... the first... the first time I've come here." "GOD! What a coincidence we are!" She noticed the marks of a fight on my face, "What's wrong with your face?" Monica speaks Chinese a little strangely, and with her mixed-race appearance, she must have grown up in the United States. "Oh, it's okay...it's okay..." After drinking two mouthfuls of cold water, he still couldn't dilute the alcohol in his blood, his head was so uncomfortable that it was about to explode, and he felt violent stirring in his stomach, and he vomited uncontrollably. I vomited the undigested cloudy dinner on the bar floor along with the beer and gastric juices.Monica dodged in surprise, then held my shoulders and called the waiter to clean up. While feeling uncomfortable physically, I was also ashamed in my heart. I actually made a fool of myself in front of the assistant to the general manager of the company!He almost vomited the filth on the beautiful woman, let alone looking up into her eyes. "OK! It seems that you are not suitable to come to the bar. I will take you home now." "No...no...no need...thank you..." Monica helped me up with the waiter, can't remember how I got out of the bar, it seems like she shoved me into a taxi.I read the address subconsciously, with my head resting on the cold car window, unable to see the face beside me clearly.The special smell of perfume, accompanied by slightly moist hair, wafts between my nostrils.His mind was filled with mud, and he spit out a few words indistinctly: "Lan... Ling... Wang... Lan... Ling... Wang..." The car stopped in front of my house, and when I turned around, I saw a figure of a woman, who got into the taxi again and went away.
The next day, in the morning. Waking up in the morning, I was completely sober, regretted being drunk again, and my muscles and joints were sore all over my body.I apologize to my parents: I shouldn't have left them and escaped alone last night, everything was my fault, I'm an adult now, and I can't let my parents worry anymore. Sitting on the subway, I turned on my phone. I have the habit of turning off my phone before going to bed. As soon as I opened it, I saw a new text message. The sender was actually Fang Xiaoan. His text message was very long—— "Gao Neng, I'm sorry, I regret that I heard your secret on the moonlit night on the island in the fall of 2006. I even regret being involved in this matter again recently. For the night of training on the island last month, please accept my sincere condolences. Apologies. Lu Haikong's suicide was his own fault, I'm afraid Yan Han has turned into a ghost, and then I will go to another world, farewell!" After reading this text message with a length of more than 100 characters, I almost dropped my phone on the ground. What exactly is Fang Xiaoan trying to do? Immediately called Fang Xiaoan, but what I heard was "The user you dialed has turned off the phone". shutdown?Or off people? I read this text message again and again, it was sent at four o'clock in the morning, and it seemed that every word was soaked with tears of regret. He came to the company restlessly, lowered his head to hide the scars on his face when he entered the door, but was called into the office by Mr. Hou. "You are such an idiot!" In the past, Mr. Hou kept the door closed, but this time he opened the door so that everyone could hear it. "Sorry." I could only bow my head silently, presumably Mr. Hou already knew what happened last night. "Even if the customer is a beast who makes thousands of mistakes, we salesmen must never fight with the customer. Do you know what it means to endure humiliation? If you keep the green hills, you are not afraid of no firewood! Gao Neng, do you know that this kind of customer is not human, I bump into a bunch of them every day, you think I'm not bothered? You think I don't want to beat them up? Every night I fantasize about stuffing these bastards down the toilet and cleaning their mouths with poop!" Mr. Hou uttered a few bad breaths, and said what was in my heart, but he changed the subject: "Even if you want to treat your customers to shit, but for your sales, you still have to treat them to a big meal! Even if you want to scold them badly, but for your work performance, you still have to flatter them! Even if you plan to smash their heads every day, but for your year-end bonus, you still have to be hot-faced Stick their cold asses!" This is the way to sell?I felt a little disgusted, but I nodded against my will: "Yes! Yes!" "Customers have thick skins, but we must have thick skins as well! Customers have dark hearts, but we must have darker hearts than them! This is called thick black science. Didn't you teach it in your university? You have to study hard!" President Hou spoke dryly, took a sip of tea and said, "Gao Neng, if you can't handle this mess, then just wait to be fired." Hearing the last sentence, I suddenly raised my head, and from Mr. Hou's contemptuous eyes, I saw what he said in his heart—— "I've never seen anyone more stupid than you, you really are a fool! Hurry up and eat shit!" Mr. Hou's mouth did not move, but passed directly to my brain through his eyes.I have become numb to this language, silently endured the insult to me, bowed my head and walked out. My colleagues were all looking at me, mostly with excited expressions, and saw another good show—as long as I wasn’t the one being scolded. My face was flushed and I looked at the two poor little turtles, both of whom I recently learned were male.Today they are very active, they keep climbing to the top of the fish tank, and then keep sliding down, back to the bottom of the fish tank.Suddenly with a wry smile, he grabbed one of them and crawled around in the palm of his hand. What is the difference between it and me?The same is at the bottom of the fish tank, and the same dreams of climbing out of this small cage. It wants to go to nature, find its beloved female tortoise, and find the world that belongs to them.I also want to climb out of this small office, to the place where I can really show my fists, to my big house and car, to the side of a beautiful girl... Put the little turtle back into the fish tank, and the voice of Lao Qian chatting next to me, and the sound of Tian Lu typing on the keyboard quickly, almost burst my small head. I changed my MSN signature today to "in the fishbowl".
Today, Fang Xiaoan did not come to work. Before the company called his home, his family called the company first - Xiaoan Fang received a call in the middle of the night yesterday, and immediately left the house in a hurry. It turned out that the accident occurred in the sixth sales department, the manager Lu Haikong committed suicide, and the salesperson Yan Han disappeared.Now it seems like the plague has infected the third sales department, Fang Xiaoan, who was originally honest and responsible, has also disappeared, and the situation is exactly the same as that of Yan Han. The sales department fell into panic again. No matter how much the company was under the pressure of layoffs, no one dared to stay and work overtime at night. The hour hand has reached nine o'clock in the evening. I wandered alone in the street and kept calling Fang Xiaoan, but what I heard was that the phone was always turned off. Unknowingly, I arrived at the gate of Tian Lu's community, and a Nissan sedan drove by, which looked familiar.A man and a woman got out of the car, and the lights shone on their faces. One was Tian Lu, and the other was? It was indeed him—Mr. Hou! He hugged Tian Lu's shoulders, smiled and lowered his head to kiss her.Tian Lu fell into his arms, unscrupulously affectionate, like a lover in love.My teeth chattered, I hid myself in the dark, I squinted to see clearly.Mr. Hou's hand even reached into Tian Lu's clothes, what happened next was unspeakable, and then the two walked into the building. Mr. Hou is obviously a married man, why did he hook up with Tian Lu in the blink of an eye?They kissed like no one else, obviously not every day or two, compared to Tian Lu's expression that night, now she looks more like a slut, the kind that doesn't hide at all.No wonder everyone in the sales department is in danger these days, but Tian shows up and sits on the Diaoyutai without changing his face. It turned out that he hugged Mr. Hou's thigh. I forgot which floor Tian Lu lived on, and stood downstairs at a loss.When the cold evening wind hit, my heart burned like a raging fire, and I lingered stubbornly in the darkness for a long time. Fortunately, the security guards here were useless. after an hour. Mr. Hou and Tian Lu got out of the elevator, and Mr. Hou walked into the Nissan car and drove away. Tian Lu returned to the elevator door, and I suddenly walked out from the side: "I saw it all." She was startled, thinking that she had run into a robber, she leaned against the wall, not daring to make a sound, and looked around for the security guards. "It's me, Gao Neng!" Tian Lu only recognized who I was, and was still surprised: "You! How could it be you!" "Me?" I tried to lower my voice so as not to really attract the security guards, "I want to ask you, why is it him?" "You mean Mr. Hou?" Her tone also calmed down, "I have been with him for two years." "you--" I really wanted to say "shameless", but seeing Tian Lu's indifferent expression, I couldn't say anything. "I want to ask you, why are you following me secretly? Do you think it's my boyfriend? Do you think we really have something?" Faced with Tian Lu's disdainful expression, my face flushed red: "No matter what the relationship is, I just want to know. What happened to me and you a year ago?" "Hey!" She sighed, "Gao Neng, you are so persistent! I just feel lonely occasionally, so I just grab you to play with me. Have you forgotten? The few nights we had, we all It was when Mr. Hou was on a business trip. Don't be surprised, I will never be responsible, and I don't need anyone to be responsible for me. I have many boyfriends, and you can't even rank tenth. " Trembling all over, I stared angrily into her eyes. Yes, I saw it, from Tian Lu's indifferent eyes, it was directly transmitted to my brain, and I read her true heart—— "Gao Neng, you are just a male dog that no one looks up to, but everyone has a heat, and when I can't find a man, I can also find a male dog to accompany me HAPPY HAPPY!" Even if she was killed, she wouldn't tell me, but her eyes leaked it quietly. At the same time, she was saying: "I'm sorry, Gao Neng, maybe I once liked you, maybe I had some good times, but that is already in the past, we can continue to be ordinary friends." What she said in her heart and what she said in her mouth are completely different tones and versions, and her eyes tell me that she is lying. I can't believe the beautiful lies, but the words in my heart are a great insult to me.Blood rushed to the top of her head and pushed her to the elevator door.She was so frightened that she couldn't say anything, but I put down the fist I just raised. Such a woman, why bother?I turned and rushed out of the building, flagged a taxi and left before she could yell at security. It is no longer the escape in the middle of the night the day before yesterday, but a resolute departure, not a separation from the day, but a severance from the night. Lying in the taxi with her eyes closed, the words in Tian Lu's heart were still in her ears—male dog, am I a male dog? The only gain is that I know that I have a special ability: through the eyes of others, I can see the truest thoughts in the other person's heart. This is an ancient and mysterious ability, maybe it is related to some kind of magic, maybe it is the unsolved mystery of the human body, maybe it is the terrible car accident that year?Due to the violent blow to the head, I became a vegetable and lost all self-memory.Did the impact have side effects on the brain?Let me have the ability to see through the hearts of others?Although it sounds incredible, the human brain is too amazing and complex to rule out the possibility of this happening. Mind reading... mind reading... mind reading... No, I can't let anyone know of my ability, including my parents.Because in this world, there is nothing that I can trust anymore, even if I am worthless, as long as others discover this, I will immediately become their target.What I get will be a lie and a trap, even if I can see it's a lie, what's the use?Anyway, I couldn't hear the truth, so why bother with their lies? Yes, I am determined to hide my mind-reading ability, because only by hiding in a dark corner can more secrets be discovered. No more tears tonight.
water. On a cold night, I was still a boy of fourteen or fifteen years old, wearing thin clothes and white sneakers.Walk through the forest path without moonlight, and come to the lake in the forest.The wind blew on my emaciated body, almost knocking my whole body down. I opened my eyes wide in the darkness, but I couldn't see the forest on the other side of the lake, where there was a faint light hidden. Under my feet, the dark green water turned black, and I subconsciously took a few steps forward. The shoes were soaked, and the cold water seeped into my trousers, soaked into my calf, and penetrated into the blood vessels through the capillary pores. The taste of water. Pulling me to go deeper into the water, the water gradually spread from my knees to my thighs, then my waist and stomach, and then my chest which is not broad.The bottom of the water is covered with smooth pebbles, but there are no small fish and shrimp as imagined.Going forward, the lake has flooded my neck, and finally my lips, moistening the soft beard of a young man. Finally, the water was over my head. I awoke from a nightmare when dark, cold water poured into my trachea, choking me so much that I couldn't cry out. It was that dream again. I opened my frightened eyes, only to find myself lying in a small room opposite a poster of Michael Jackson.Sweat covered his entire body, even his underwear and panties were soaked, as if he had just been scooped out of the water. Damn—did I really commit suicide by diving in my dream? This nightmare has been entangled for half a year, but now it is developing in the most terrifying direction.I hurriedly turned over and got up, looking at my face in the mirror, sweat was dripping down. I went to the bathroom to take a shower, then lay back on the bed - I don't have to go to work today, I asked the company for leave, I'm going to the hospital for an examination, and I called Dean Hua last time to make an appointment. I slept until the sun rose, and hurried out after lunch, took a bus bound for the suburbs, and traveled for more than an hour to the Pacific Chinese-American Hospital. Dean Hua has been waiting for me for a long time, and the nurses there also know me and greet me all the way in. It feels like returning home. This feeling is much more comfortable than going to work-but I hope this is the last Come here once. First do routine examinations: body temperature, blood pressure, EEG, ECG, CT scan, and the results are all normal. In a spacious and bright room, Dean Hua and a female assistant treated me personally.Let me lie on a bed, with soft piano music playing in my ears, and warm and soft lighting, which makes me completely relaxed.When I was most sleepy in the afternoon, I almost fell asleep lying down like this. "Gao Neng." Dean Hua stood beside me and stretched out his hand in front of his eyes, "How do you feel now?" "Very...very good...this is the most relaxing time in half a year." "Well, you said you fainted suddenly, is it for no reason, or is there something special?" "I...I..." I blinked my eyes hard, but I didn't want to tell the secret of mind reading, even Dean Hua shouldn't know, "I had an argument with someone, I was very emotional, and suddenly passed out, But soon woke up again." Dean Hua put his hand on his chin, looked down at me and asked, "Just once?" "I don't know, maybe there are others." "Gao Neng, you have intermittent coma, but you can't be sure whether it's related to the car accident a year and a half ago. I'm going to give you more in-depth psychological treatment now, are you willing to accept it?" I had no choice but to lie on the bed and nod my head: "Yes." "Okay." He gestured to the female assistant, then bowed his head and said to me, "Please relax a little more." Although the piano music was still playing on the stereo, the melody and tone had changed.In particular, the tone is deeper and the melody is more tortuous and changeable, which obviously has the European style at the beginning of the last century.As if coming to the Austro-Hungarian Empire in 1910, passing through the rugged mountains of Bohemia, it is a huge and chaotic city on the Danube River, where the chimneys of steam civilization spit out black roses.In the damp and cold cafe, the Jewish youth Kafka sat alone, his black eyes were so melancholy, he had just finished writing a heavy love letter, and what awaited him was an inexplicably long lawsuit... "what do you want?" A voice seemed to come from far away in the sky. There was still a Viennese cafe in front of me, but a Turk was sitting opposite, staring at my eyes, unable to hide myself anymore—what do I want? "Women...young women...beautiful women...pure women...smart women..." "Gao Neng, you answered very well, but I guess you want more than that. Tell me, what else do you want?" Can't refuse, I can't refuse his question, the cafe is full of smoke, I have to say: "The house, a big, big house. I don't want a rat's nest, and I don't want to live with my parents. I want a big house that belongs only to me. The house. It must be very beautiful and fully functional, with at least three floors and 1,000 square meters, not counting the spacious yard outside. Every day when I go home, Filipino maids will bring me slippers, and the big guard dog will come to welcome me. A ten-square-meter bathroom is for me to take a shower, and a private screening room is for me to watch movies, and it would be even better if there is a swimming pool.” "Yes, I want a house like this too, what more do you want?" The Turk was wearing a red felt hat, and I looked him in the eyes and could only go on: "Cars, I must have one, no, three cars. One is a BMW 760 touring car to go to a Forbes dinner One is an Audi Q7 SUV, which can be used for long-distance travel and adventure. The last one is a Porsche—no, it is a Ferrari convertible sports car, which can take my woman for a ride at a speed of 200 kilometers per hour at one o'clock in the morning!" "Well said, you can be my good friend, you want wealth and women, you also want power and honor. Everyone will respect you, everyone will give way to you, and even fear you. As long as you are happy, you can make many people flourish. As long as you are not happy, you can also make more people bankrupt." "Yes, but I still want to...I still want to...kill..." "Kill what?" "kill!" Although I was sitting in a cafe in Vienna, I saw a loess-covered sand field, thousands of war horses neighing, iron and leather armor covering the knights of the northern kingdom, the sun pierced through the layers of dark clouds, and illuminated the sharp iron spears. cutting edge... "What do you see?" "Devil——" I suddenly changed into an iron armor and was surrounded by thousands of horses. "I saw a devil's face, riding a snow-white war horse, brandishing a spear and rushing towards the enemy. He The appearance is too terrifying, undoubtedly from the oldest hell, everyone was frightened to shit, and then there was a bloody killing." "Who did you kill?" In an instant, many people's faces flashed before my eyes, including the face of the man who followed me twice, the face of the "man" whose head was beaten bloody by me, and Mr. Hou's smiling face Face, Tian Lu's frosty face, and countless other faces that I know or don't know... All the faces made strange expressions at me, but finally laughed out loud. They laughed so unscrupulously, as if they were Watch a clown perform. And I am this clown with white paint on my face and a red ball on my nose. "You all go to hell!" I struggled to cry out, then lay down helplessly. "What else do you remember? Like—your past?" "past?" When I think of these two words, I feel a dull pain in my brain, as if being deeply pierced by a needle, and my body jumps up like an electric shock.I fell heavily on the ground, but in front of my eyes was a white world, with warm lights shining on me. "Are you OK?" The female assistant helped me up, and I shook my head: "It's okay! I had many dreams, dreaming that I was in Vienna a hundred years ago?" "This is our psychotherapy, hoping to get to the source of your fainting, which may also have something to do with your past." "Thank you!" I wiped the sweat from my brow, "But, I want to go home now." A few minutes later, when I walked out of the hospital gate, I realized that the treatment had lasted until late at night. After dragging our tired feet, we took the night bus back to the city.Mom called me and I said I was almost home.Under the starry sky at midnight, the car swayed and drove for a long time, looking at the lights on both sides of the road dimly, like many pairs of eyes behind black gauze. The driver kept playing the radio, and at midnight, a magnet-like voice suddenly sounded: "I am Qiu Bo, and you are welcome to turn on the radio and enter 'Life in a Mask'." It's this show again, and I've memorized this sound, absorbing my hearing like a sponge. There was no one in the bus at midnight, only some middle-aged people returning home from the night shift, some drowsy, some sitting in a daze, only the soft voice from the radio, wafting in every corner of the bus. "At this moment, what are you doing? Are you still wearing that heavy mask? Or have you taken off the mask, lying alone in your own den, licking the wound left by the day? Well, Miss Wu, please speak... ..." This is a midnight talk show, every listener who calls in can confide their distress to the host.The host rarely interjects, let alone make moral judgments.The real protagonists are the audience who call in, and the moderator plays the role of the listener. After answering the two calls, the host Qiu Bo said, "Now I'll listen to a song for everyone, by Zhang Yusheng." With a simple piano playing, the inimitable and unique voice sounded in the airwaves—— "I am an autumn tree / The few leaves seem a little lonely / Occasionally swallows will fly to my shoulders / Describe the rush of the world with singing..." Hearing the second sentence, my heart was pulled up, and the eye sockets were moistened reflexively.I tried desperately to hold back, but it was difficult to suppress the secretion of tear glands.These ancient liquids rushed out of the eyes, washed the dust on the cheeks, and slid down from the cheeks to the back of the hands.I can't understand my tears, but my heart has been thrown into the singing, the eternal helplessness, the unbearable sadness.I am surprised that there is such a singing voice in the world, and I am also surprised that there are such feelings in the world——
Haunting the bus at midnight, like a ghost that never leaves, came to my ears and sang quietly.His voice is sometimes calm and sometimes passionate, sometimes desolate and sometimes warm, never fighting or giving up, never giving up, like a tree passing by the roadside, so lonely and so desolate, but enjoying his own world alone, no matter the change of day or night, Regardless of the alternation of spring, summer and autumn and winter, no matter how many centuries and how many reincarnations. At the end of the song, my tears were not over. To be precise, I was crying bitterly—all the passengers in the car were staring at me, probably thinking that their wallet had just been stolen.Tears are still hanging on my face, I can't explain why I am so excited, just because of this first Yusheng song?In the memory of the last six months, it was the first time I heard this song, and it was also the first time I heard Zhang Yusheng. Why did I suddenly have such a strong reaction?The eternal telepathy is like a fuse, blasting open the secret door of oblivion. After getting off the car, I wiped away my tears and looked up at the mysterious starry sky, wondering what will happen tomorrow? Tomorrow, I will go to Hangzhou.