Chapter 2 The Secret of the First Wind

The night before my father died, I dreamed about my sister.My sister was walking on the mountain road, her back was erratic, I chased after her, but I couldn't catch up with her, she was like the wind.I yelled at her back: "Sister, sister, come home with me, Dad is going to die—" She couldn't hear my voice, and walked forward like the wind, the mountain road was rough, and she walked on flat ground.I wish my sister would turn her head so she could see me, maybe stop, listen to me, and come home with me.My sister didn't look back, and soon disappeared.I stood desolately in the unfamiliar mountains, wanting to cry but without tears.I don't know where the sister in the dream went. Her father passed away, but she didn't come home.

When I woke up in the morning, I heard my father's screams.I came to my father's bedroom, and he was lying on the bed skinny, his sallow face was covered with sweat, and his deep-set eyes were emitting the last light.My father stretched out a trembling hand towards me, wanted to say something but couldn't say anything, his Adam's apple slipped, and his hand fell down.I know very well that he wants to ask me why my sister hasn't come back yet.He has been fighting with his sister all his life, but he hopes to see his sister when he dies. I understand him very well.At this time, father was a fish about to die of thirst. After he exhaled a few mouthfuls of turbid air, he stopped breathing.He was finally abandoned by the world like a useless rag.

For my father, death was a relief.I couldn't bear to hear his screams of pain every day.However, my father left with regret, and I was also very tangled in my heart.I know the kindness and resentment between him and his sister. Many times, I am like an outsider, watching indifferently. I can't solve the problems between them.I clearly knew that when my father died, I did not shed tears, but sighed in grief.I picked up the phone again and dialed the cell phone number my sister left me three years ago.In fact, a year ago, this number was already empty, and I have not deleted it, hoping that one day I can dial and hear my sister's voice.I turned off the phone in desperation, leaned closer to my father's ashen face, and choked up and said, "Father, you can go at ease, you don't have to worry about your sister anymore, she doesn't worry about you, why are you worried about her? You go on your way, This world is not worth your nostalgia at all, I hope you can reunite with your mother in heaven and live a good life.” After speaking, I stood up straight and started to handle my father’s funeral.The tallow tree outside the house was full of dead ghost birds, and they kept whining. People in the town knew that my father was dead when they saw this scene.

At that time I didn't know where my sister was. I don't know if she would come back to attend the funeral if she knew that her father was dead. In any case, she is her father's daughter.I believe she can feel her father's death, whether she returns or not, whether she feels grief or not. In the evening after my father died, I ran into Shangguan Mingliang at the gate of the middle school.Shangguan Mingliang is a bachelor. He is in his forties and has never married a wife.He is good-looking and talented, so he should have no problem finding a woman. Maybe it's because of my sister that he refuses to marry a wife and have children.He and my sister had a sensational entanglement in the town, and because of that entanglement, the pain and hatred were buried in my sister's heart, and the grievances between my sister and my father were also affected by this entanglement.I used to want to kill him, but seeing him now makes me sick.

He stood in front of me, a head taller than me.He looked down at me with unpredictable eyes and said, "Your sister hasn't come back?" I said coldly, "It's none of your business whether you come back or not?" He trembled like an electric shock, then calmed down and said, "I know she hasn't come back." After speaking, he turned and left.I looked at his tall back, and suddenly felt a little melancholy in my heart. I tried to understand this man, even though in the long years, I cursed him many times to be struck by lightning, or died violently after drinking, and I wanted to kill him many times with my own hands.

I am the physical education teacher of Tangzhen Middle School. In people's eyes, I am a guy with a simple mind and well-developed limbs.My students like me, even the boring physical education class, I will explain it to them in lively and interesting language.Some students would say to me: "Mr. Li, it's a pity that you don't teach Chinese." I just smiled.I admit that my sister has a great influence on me, and like her, I also like to write and write. I often write something on the Internet to satisfy my vanity.Sometimes my wife Huang Qiyue would keep scolding me because of too much surfing the Internet. I am not afraid of my wife complaining, but I am afraid of seeing my daughter's terrified eyes.My daughter, Li Xuehua, is only 5 years old. Whenever I quarrel with my wife, she would hide and look at me in horror.I would have a sudden heartache, stop arguing, go and pick her up, and comfort her young, vulnerable heart.

Huang Qiyue is also a teacher. She teaches mathematics in Tangzhen Central Primary School. She was a down-to-earth woman who had a big opinion of my sister, who in her eyes was an impractical person, a phantom, a gust of wind.Huang Qiyue predicted many times that her sister has no future, nothing, and nothing in the end.I said, whoever ends up in nothing, who can not die?Huang Qiyue said contemptuously that I was messing around, my sister was a bad example in front of me, and Huang Qiyue didn't want me to be a bad example for my daughter.I am indeed not as rational as her. A rational woman often makes me feel at a loss, and even falls into the cold abyss of reality.

When I was defending my sister, I actually had no idea in my heart. I couldn't judge whether my sister was right or wrong.I am a contradictory person. My sister has a profound influence on me, but I am afraid of becoming like her. I imagine that I can wander freely like her and enjoy a comfortable family life.I love my sister and I hate her.I love her because she also loves me, and I hate her because of her cruelty to her father. I have forgiven my father for many things, but she still has a grudge. In the spring two years after my father passed away, there was abundant rain, and the damp Tang Town was full of musty smell.I don't like the rainy season, every inch of my skin feels moldy and itchy.That morning, there was a drizzle in the sky, and my right eyelid kept twitching, like an ominous omen.In my uneasy mood, I received a call from an unfamiliar person. On the phone, a woman with a hoarse voice told me that my sister had died.I stood blankly in the rain, the sharp spear pierced my heart, and I couldn't breathe.After a long time, my tears came rushing out.

My sister died. My sister died. I don't know why she died, and I don't know why she died in that remote western mountain.Over the years, my sister would occasionally call me suddenly. She knew my mobile phone number, but her mobile phone number always changed, and she would never tell me her whereabouts and everything about her.In order for her to find me, I have not changed my mobile phone number.Every time she calls me, she doesn't have too much to say, she listens to me quietly on the other side, and before I finish speaking, she will hang up suddenly, and she won't answer when I call up.She just wants to hear my voice, just to prove that I'm okay, she misses me.After my father passed away, she called once. When I told her the news of my father's death, I didn't know her expression. The silence on the other end of the phone frightened me.I have been waiting for her call, as long as she can call, even if I don't say a word, I know she is still alive, and I also miss her in my heart.I didn't expect that what I was waiting for was a call from a stranger, and it was about her death.I can't express the grief in my heart, I feel powerless, I can't catch my sister, just like I can't catch the wind.

... I decided to find out the cause of my sister's death and bring her ashes back for burial.I can't tell Huang Qiyue, if I tell her, she will definitely not let me go to the western mountains.After I asked for leave, I prepared to leave secretly.It was a light rainy morning, and there was still a musty smell in the air. I had no appetite for breakfast, so I pretended nothing had happened, watching Huang Qiyue and her daughter eating.Huang Qiyue gave me a strange look while drinking porridge.She said: "Why don't you eat?" I smiled and said: "Not hungry, not hungry." She said: "You smile so fake." I laughed so fakely, I should have cried, my sister Dead, how can I laugh for real?Huang Qiyue said: "I can't understand you more and more. Whether you eat or not, I don't have the strength to control you anymore." I was speechless.Huang Qiyue left home after breakfast with her daughter. She sent her daughter to kindergarten and then to school.After Huang Qiyue and her daughter left the house, they never looked back.I was very sad in my heart, and there was a feeling of parting from life and death.

I quickly packed my luggage, carried the suitcase, and left home in a hurry. When I was approaching the bus station, I ran into Shangguan Mingliang again. Shangguan Mingliang blocked my way, sniffed my breath like a hyena, and said, "Li Rui, are you looking for your sister?" Seeing him and thinking of my dead sister, I said angrily, "Get out of here!" He didn't go away, but still stood in front of me, and said sensitively: "Did something happen to her?" I said: "Get out!" He finally stepped aside to let me pass. After walking for a while, I looked back, and he was still standing there watching me.I suddenly thought, is he still in love with my sister? Is it because of my sister that he is still unmarried?I suddenly yelled at him: "My sister is dead, you are satisfied, bastard!" His body was crumbling. After a while, Shangguan Mingliang laughed wildly: "How could she die, hahahaha, how could she die!" Yes, how could my sister die? I've never been that far before.From Tangzhen to the county seat by car, from the county seat to Nanchang, Jiangxi by train, from Nanchang to Kunming by train, and then from Kunming to Shangri-La by long-distance bus, I walked for several days.Exhausted, I was thrown at Diqing Bus Station.It was dusk now, the sun was still so strong, and the sky was so blue that it made me dizzy.In this strange place, I feel uneasy and feel helpless.I don't know if my sister also felt this way when she first came here. I turned on the phone. Along the way, my cell phone was turned off.I dare not turn on the phone. If I turn on the phone, Huang Qiyue will blow it up. She is a relentless woman.After turning on the phone, many text messages appeared on the phone screen, all of which were sent by Huang Qiyue.She used text messages on her mobile phone to repeatedly ask me where I went, why I ran away without telling her, whether I eloped with some woman, and called her back immediately after turning on the phone. She was very worried and very angry, and there were scolding and Begging... I'm not in the mood to deal with the text messages she sent me. I want to explain to her when I get home. Although this is extremely cruel to her, it is also a great harm. I called Hu Li and told her I had arrived.Hu Li was the one who told the news of my sister's death. She didn't expect me to come, and rushed over so soon.When she received my call, she froze for a while, and then said, "Wait for me, I'll pick you up right away." I stood outside the bus station, lit a cigarette, and waited for Hu Li while smoking. I suddenly had a thought in my heart, my sister would appear in front of me, she looked at me with a smile, and said, "Ari, I miss you so much." I would be surprised and say, "You're not dead?" She still smiled Said: "My sister's fate is hard, how can I die, I still have a lot of things to do, how can I die?" I said: "How can you lie to me, do you know how sad I am?" Said: "If I didn't lie to you that I was dead, would you come to this place to see me?" I had mixed feelings of grief and joy, and shed tears.My sister wiped away my tears like she did in childhood, hugged me and said, "Don't cry, don't cry, Ah Rui is good, my sister will give you sweets." Just as I was dreaming, a thin, short, dark-faced woman appeared at the gate of the bus station and screamed, "Who is Li Rui, who is Li Rui?" People looked at her strangely. I threw away the cigarette butt in my hand, raised my hand like a primary school student, and said loudly, "I'm Li Rui." She came up to me, looked at me sternly, and said, "You are Li Rui?" I nodded. She said: "You are nothing like your sister, she is so beautiful, but you are so ugly." I ignored her slightly sarcastic words and said, "Why didn't my sister come?" She said in surprise: "I'm not telling you that your sister has—" I said sadly, "Is she really dead?" With tears in her eyes, she said softly, "She's really gone. Come on, come with me to my bar, and I'll tell you everything I know." Hu Li took me to a quiet side street in the ancient city.There are inns and bars on both sides of the small street, most of which are closed, and no one can be seen.I thought, with so many inns and bars in such a quiet street, would they have business?Hu Li saw through my thoughts, and she said: "Now is the off-season. After May, there will be more customers. Then, this place will be very lively." I don't know how lively it will be during the peak tourist season. I don't know why so many people come here, just like I don't know why my sister comes here. Hu Li's bar is called "Lyagos Poison Flower Bar".A wooden sign is hung on the mottled mud wall beside the wooden door of the bar. A red chamaejasma flower is painted on the wooden sign. On the top of the chamaejasma flower, the name of the bar is crookedly written. I guess, the chamaejasma on the wooden sign The flowers and characters are all written by Hu Li.I didn't ask her, but she smiled and said, "Your sister drew the chamaejasma flower, and I wrote the words." I suddenly had an idea that Hu Li is a chamaejasma flower, and her sister is also a chamaejasma flower. The reason why Hu Li and Hu Li became good friends is because they share similar tastes. This is an old folk house. After entering the door, there is a yard. There are flowerpots, empty wine bottles and other sundries in the yard. The flowers and plants on the flowerpots are all withered. After the cold, frost and snow, I wonder if they will be here Wake up in the spring breeze, grow immature green seedlings, and then bloom beautiful flowers.The folk house is a two-story house. There is a kitchen and a room on the lower floor. In the middle is a hall of more than 100 square meters. There is a bar in the hall. There are several long wooden tables. Glowing.The walls are cluttered with photos and notes from tourists.You can imagine what it looks like when it's busy here.Hu Li told me that there are several guest rooms upstairs, which will be full by then. Hu Li led me to the downstairs room and said to me, "You can live here." There is a strong foul smell in the room. Could it be the smell of foxes? Although I couldn't bear the strange smell in the room, I did as the Romans do and settled down here.Hu Li asked me to rest for a while, and she went to prepare dinner for me.Hu Li locked me in the room and went out to get busy by herself.In fact, I'm not hungry, I just want to know how my sister died earlier, and where is her body?There are two beds and a small desk in the small room. The desk is messy, with cigarettes, ashtrays, lighters, small incense burners, Tibetan incense, biscuit boxes and so on.My eyes were attracted by a small frame, and there was a photo in the frame, which was a group photo of my sister and Hu Li, with the vast snow-capped mountains in the background.In the photo, my sister and Hu Li both smiled brightly, almost wildly, and my sister was much darker than when I saw her last time.I picked up the frame and touched my sister's face in the photo. Grief hit my heart again, and tears rolled down my face.The last time I saw my sister was the day after Huang Qiyue and I got married.At noon that day, I suddenly received a call from my sister, she said she was waiting for me in the woods by the river, and told me not to tell anyone.I left the house with an excuse and went straight to the grove by the river.The tall and thin elder sister stood under a tallow tree, and the wind blew her hair tousled.When I appeared in front of her, she shouted tremblingly: "Ari—" I shouted in surprise: "Sister—" There were tears in my sister's eyes, but they didn't flow down.She took my hand and said, "Ari, you are married, you are a real man, and you will take responsibility in the future, so I am relieved." What happened, what made her hands so cold, her eyes so sad.I said: "Sister, come home with me, Dad's heart has long been reconciled with you, he has been missing you, worried about you, every time you call me, I will tell him, he said he wants to hear Your voice, but—” My sister gave me an envelope, and I knew it contained money.She said: "Ari, this is a little wish from my sister. Take it, don't be too little, live a good life, and take good care of your father and your wife." After finishing speaking, she turned and left.I can't stop her, she is the wind, the wind of freedom. ... I smell the aroma of food. Hu Li called me from the door of the room: "Li Rui, come out for dinner." I said, "I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat." Hu Li said: "I understand your feelings, you have to eat after all, come out and eat whatever you want." I walked out of the room. Several pairs of bowls and chopsticks were placed on a long table, and there were four major dishes on the table, namely shredded potatoes with vinegar, twice-cooked pork, hand-cooked mutton, and a large plate of chicken.Looks like someone else is going to eat with us.Sure enough, after I was seated, two men came in outside the door, one with a bald head, holding a guitar, one with a sharp face, and a bottle of white wine in his hand.Hu Li introduced me to them, and when they heard that I was Li Wanrong's younger brother, their expressions changed a little, and they looked heavy.The bald man is Wang Jie, a wandering singer; the knife-faced man is Zhang Chong, the owner of an inn, and he has just returned from the mainland. They are drinking. I didn't drink, firstly, I don't know how to drink, and secondly, I'm not in the mood to drink.They didn't force me either, and let me go after a few words of pushback.Except for the hand-caught mutton, the other dishes are all spicy. I can't eat spicy food, and I can't eat a piece of mutton. I sat there silently watching them drink.They also spoke little and drank incessantly.At the end of the drink, Zhang Chong got drunk. He cried and howled: "If only Wanrong was here, if only Wanrong was here—" Hu Li wiped away her tears and said, "She is here, always here It can be seen that they have feelings for my sister, I don't know what to say, my heart is like a lump of ice, and my whole body is cold. Wang Jie didn't say anything, and after a long sigh, he began to play and sing: Zhang Chong and Hu Li also sang with Wang Jie. After singing the song "Don't Be Afraid", Wang Jie drank a glass of wine and said to me: "This is your sister's favorite song. She can sing it too. She often sings it with us." I believe my sister was singing with them just now, really. There were no other guests in the bar this evening.Speaking of my sister, they were all as sad as I was.In the ancient city of Shangri-La, the four of them are best friends and best friends.It was late at night, and Hu Li and I sent Wang Jie and Zhang Chong out of the bar. At the bar entrance, Wang Jie helped Zhang Chong who was drunk, and said, "Go back, by the way, Li Rui, what's going on here? You must tell us, we will help you." I said, "Thank you." After they left, I saw a person standing under a street lamp not far away. It was a man, and I could feel him looking up at us.Because the street lights were dim, I couldn't see his face clearly, I only knew that he was tall.I don't know who he is, but I understand his hostility, or some kind of bad mood.Hu Li pulled my sleeve and said, "Come in, it's cold outside." I said, "Who is that man?" Hu Li said, "Leave him alone!" I thought, Hu Li must know who he is. Who, and Hu Li is angry with him.We entered the house, and Hu Li closed the door forcefully. There was a wind blowing outside the door, whimpering like a beast. I wondered what the man standing under the street lamp would do this night. In this strange place, I vaguely felt that some kind of danger was approaching. At this time, the weather is okay during the day and cold at night. In fact, after the sun goes down, the temperature drops.Hu Li lit a stove in the room where I lived. The charcoal fire of the stove was very strong, and the room was very warm.I never thought that Hu Li would live in the same room with me.She made the bed for me and said, "Go to sleep, I'm tired, just call me if you need anything." In front of me, she took off her coat and got into bed.I've never shared a room with a strange woman, and I'm nervous and shy.I stood there, overwhelmed.Hu Li looked at me and said, "Why don't you sleep?" I faltered, not knowing what to say. Hu Li understood something, smiled, and said: "Fool, go to sleep, what's the big deal, I wanted to arrange for you to live in the guest room upstairs, but there is no stove in the guest room, I'm afraid you will be frozen at night. Just arrange for you to live with me, don't worry too much, I trust you, what are you afraid of, even if something happens, I will be the one who suffers. Go to sleep, your sister used to live in the same room as me, just sleep That bed of yours. Besides, it's normal for donkey friends who come here to live together with men and women, and nothing bad has happened, and it's all because of fate that they can get together." After listening to her, I went to bed and lay down under the covers. Hu Lila turned off the lights. Because of the fire, there was still some light in the room, and it was not so dark.I opened my eyes wide, looking at the dark ceiling, and I thought about my sister.Even now, I still don't believe that my sister is really dead. I still think she is playing a huge joke with me. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow morning, I can see my sister's smiling face and hear her tender words.After a while, Hu Li started snoring, the first time I heard a woman snore in my life.The snoring woman is a woman with a story, just like my sisters, except I don't know their stories. Hu Li said she was going to tell me about her sister, but she fell asleep. I wanted to wake her up and ask her some questions, but I didn't. I tossed and turned, having difficulty falling asleep.I don't know how long it took, the world fell silent, I couldn't hear Hu Li's snoring, and I couldn't hear the howling wind outside the house, and the light from the fire disappeared.In the darkness, I seemed to hear my sister's faint cry: "Ari, help me, I'm so cold, so cold—" I pricked up my ears, looking for the direction of the sound. The sound seemed to be outside the door.I rushed out the door desperately, the hall was pitch black, and I couldn't see anything.I yelled, "Sister, sister, where are you—" "Ari, help me, I'm so cold—" The sound came from the street outside the bar.I ran out of the bar desperately again.The street was empty and quiet, there was no one there, only the dim street lights emitting a mysterious light.I yelled, "Sister, sister, where are you? I'm taking you home—" "Ari, help me, I'm so cold, so cold—" The sound was not far away, and I ran in the direction of the sound.I want to find my sister and take her home... The voice has been fluttering, and I have been chasing my sister's voice.I was guided by that illusory and faint voice to the desolate mountains.I saw the white light, the white light in the dark is very dazzling.My sister's voice came from the white light: "Ari, help me, I'm so cold, so cold—" The white light emanated from a huge deep pit.The pit was an ice cave, tens of feet deep, and I saw my sister.She was lying in the ice cave, as if she was about to freeze, she stretched out her weak hand, and said weakly to me: "Ari, help me, I'm so cold, so cold—" Heartbroken, I said tremblingly, "Sister, I will definitely save you and bring you home!" I have to find a way to go down and rescue my sister.I want to find a long rope, fix it on it, and then let it go down. I can climb down the rope and rescue my sister.I turned around and was about to go back to Wolfsbane Flower Bar to find the rope, and I was thinking of asking Hu Li and the others for help, but I found a tall man standing in front of me.Before I had time to ask who he was, he stretched out his hands and pushed me down the deep pit.My body was falling, I kept falling, I shouted in despair, but no matter how I shouted, it was of no avail, I kept falling, as if I had fallen into a bottomless pit.The white light disappeared, and I fell into the eternal darkness, falling continuously. ... Hu Li woke me up from a nightmare. She was wearing red autumn clothes and long johns, wiping my sweaty head with a towel.I opened my eyes and saw her thin and dark face with tears in her eyes.Hu Li said softly: "Brother, you have a nightmare." She called me brother, yes, she called me brother like sister, she is also my sister.I burst into tears and called out, "Sister——" She sat by my bed, stretched out her thin arms, hugged my head, and said, "Brother, don't be afraid, sister is here." I sobbed. She said: "I understand your feelings. After your sister left, I was as sad as you. Cry, brother, just cry out, don't hold back, don't hold back your body." I burst into tears. Hu Li also cried with me. Through Hu Li's narration, I learned something about my sister's visit to Shangri-La. My sister and Hu Li met five years ago in Tibet. They lived together in a hotel in Lhasa. Then they traveled together and traveled all over Tibet and became good friends.Hu Li said that not all travelers travel happily, and some people take a painful journey, because they choose to travel to escape from a bad life. Maybe some people get relief while traveling, and some people get better. The more painful they are, they are the kind of people who are more painful.They all have unbearable pasts, cherished each other during the journey, depended on each other, and spent that unforgettable time.After parting, her sister returned to Shanghai, and after Hu Li returned to Chengdu, she came to Shangri-La alone, rented a house here, opened a bar, and worked there for five years. In the past five years, she has not returned to Chengdu.They have always been in touch, and Hu Li hopes that her sister can also give up her life in Shanghai and come here to open a bar with her.My sister didn't agree to her at that time, but just two years ago, my sister came to Shangri-La. Hu Li was very happy with her sister's arrival. It was a day in midsummer, and my sister suddenly appeared at the door of Wolfsbane Flower Bar.At that time, Wolfsbane Flower Bar was extremely lively, the guest rooms upstairs were full of people, and many people were drinking tea, resting and chatting here.She is the only one who manages Hu Li's bar. She is both the boss and the waiter, so she is very busy.She didn't even know that her sister had arrived.The pale elder sister was carrying a gray rucksack, standing at the door, shouting: "Hu Li—" Hu Li, who was busy, didn't hear her shout.My sister called out again: "Hu Li——" At this time, a young man in a red T-shirt and a mustache came out. He saw the tall sister and said, "Who are you looking for?" The sister said, "Excuse me. , is this the bar run by Hu Li?" Mustache nodded, scanned his sister, and said, "Yes, who are you?" The sister didn't like his presumptuous gaze, and said coldly, "I'm Her sister." Mustache laughed and said, "Haha, I didn't expect Hu Li to have such a beautiful sister." The sister stared at him in disgust, and went straight in.Hu Li was coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee when she suddenly saw her sister and was stunned.My sister said to her: "Ghost girl——" Hu Li threw away the tray in her hand, and the tray and coffee cup flew out and fell to the ground, and the coffee cup shattered.Her crazy behavior left the people in the bar dumbfounded.Hu Li rushed towards her sister, hugged her, and said, "Sister Wanrong, you miss me so much!" Her sister hugged her too, and said, "I miss you too." That night, Hu Li called Zhang Chong and Wang Jie to drink with her sister.My sister was so drunk that she lay in bed for a day and a night before getting up.My sister was very haggard.Hu Li knew in her heart that her sister had gone through another catastrophe before she came to her.Hu Li didn't ask her what happened again, but took good care of her sister.At the beginning, my sister was very reticent and helped Hu Li with some things, even though Hu Li asked her to rest.On the surface, my sister is weak, and she is beautiful, so many lecherous people come here after hearing her.Throughout the tourist season, the ancient city of Shangri-La has a large flow of people, and there are all kinds of people. Naturally, there are people with evil intentions. Some men would tease her sister with obscene words, but she was indifferent; some men said sweet words to her, but she was also indifferent; men had nothing to do with her sister's indifference.Witnessing their performance, my sister felt that they were poor people, and she also despised them in her heart.But there was a long-haired man with a shiny scar on his forehead.He sits alone in a corner drinking every night, never leaving his eyes from his sister who is walking around.The older sister noticed the man and just ignored him. Hu Li also noticed the long-haired man's gaze.She knows who he is.Hu Li told her sister, don't talk to this man, call him a coward.His name is Song Haibo, he is a sculptor, and his sculptures are sold in handicraft stores.My sister asked her, why is he a coward?Hu Li said: "Let me tell you about the origin of the scar on his forehead. Many people think that he is a ruthless character when they see the scar on his forehead, but that is not the case. The scar is his own. Drawn out with a carving knife, he ruined his face just to make people feel that he is an untouchable master. Song Haibo once fell in love with a woman who was a painter and lived in the ancient city. Later, the female painter was killed by a male poet. Seduced. He went to the poet. The poet put a fruit knife to his throat and threatened him to give up the female painter. The female painter stood by and looked at him with a sneer. Instead of fighting like a man, he chose to retreat He ran to me, cried, and asked us what to do. Wang Jie told him that the best way is to use the courage of self-mutilation to deal with the poet. He cried and said that he couldn't do it, and he Said that he didn't even dare to kill chickens. Wang Jie said, then we have nothing to do. We all look down on him. He hasn't come to our bar for a long time, and now he appears again. I think he looks at you wrongly. You have to Be careful." My sister finds it unbelievable, but there are all kinds of people in the world, so it's not surprising. My sister admires Hu Li very much and thinks that she should be like Hu Li, a woman who is desensitized to men.In the ancient city of Shangri-La, people who are familiar with Hu Li will not regard her as a woman, even tourists, after contacting her, they will come to the conclusion that she is a "male woman".She has stayed here for five years, but no man has ever dated her. To many women, this is such a cruel thing, but Hu Li thinks it is her pride.She said: "The time without men is the time of real freedom." My sister may not be able to do this, even though she was injured to pieces by men. Some men tried to do something to their sister, but under the pressure of Hu Li, they did not do it for a long time.To be precise, they were afraid of a local named Tashi.That guy is undoubtedly the fiercest and most deadly man in the ancient city. He has many scars on his body, which are the scars left in real battles. They are the medals of men.No one knew why he called Hu Li brothers and sisters. He would visit her occasionally, have a drink in the bar, leave half a yak behind, and take his brothers away.He is a truck driver and has been running on the Yunnan-Tibet line. My sister asked Hu Li if she had any ambiguous relationship with Tashi? Hu Li said seriously: "No, since I left Chengdu, I have never had an affair with any man, let alone slept with him. Besides, he doesn't look down on my body either. He once joked that I want to have sex with a man. If he sleeps, he won't even want it, because I'm too skinny, and I don't have any meat on my body. He doesn't like thin women, and he doesn't understand why people in Handi want to lose weight. He treats me as his younger brother, saying that only To be able to treat me as a younger brother, and to be his woman, I'm really not qualified." My sister said: "Then he won't like me, I'm also so thin." Hu Li smiled and said, "Of course, but you can also be his younger brother." Before my sister met Tashi, something happened. Finally someone couldn't hold back anymore and wanted to attack my sister, and the one who was going to attack her was that mustache.This mustache is a strange person. Hu Li and her friends don't know his name, and they don't know who he is. He always appears in various bars in the ancient city, and he always acts alone.Hu Li said that she had never seen this person before, and it only appeared this summer. That night, the Wolfsbane Bar was full of people, very noisy and chaotic.Hu Li and her sister were very busy, serving tea and water, both of them were covered in sweat.No matter how busy they are, they are also happy. They are only busy for three or four months a year. After the busy season, they will enter a long off-season. eat.Many people are envious of opening inns and bars here, thinking it is a romantic thing, but in fact there is no romance, hard work is the norm, no matter it is off-season or peak season, they must be prepared to endure hardships and stand hard work, not helpless and escape, and they will not choose to live in Make a living here. Wang Jie played and sang on the small stage next to the bar. His singing was good and he always won rounds of applause.他一直在古城的各个酒吧里唱歌，一个晚上要赶好几个场子，他在这里唱歌不收任何费用，只要一瓶啤酒，几首歌唱完，那瓶啤酒也喝完了，他就抱着吉他去赶下个场子。小胡子在和几个青年男女喝酒，他们不知在说着什么，不时爆出一阵大笑，好像他在给那几个青年男女讲什么有趣的事情。那几个青年男女是狼毒花酒吧里的住客，不是和小胡子一伙的，小胡子虽然独自一人来找乐，却也没有寂寞的时候，总是能够找上几个暂时的酒友。 小胡子朝姐姐招了招手，大声说：“上啤酒！” 姐姐问：“要多少瓶？” 小胡子的脸在燃烧，眼睛也在燃烧，看上去有些醉意，他说：“来半打！” 姐姐就拿了六瓶啤酒走了过去。姐姐把酒放在他们桌子上，小胡子笑着盯着姐姐因为忙碌而红润的脸，说：“美女，一起喝两杯吧？”姐姐没有理他，这时王杰正在唱《不要怕》那首歌。姐姐第一次听到这首歌，被迷住了。她注视着王杰，眼睛也湿润了，这首歌打动了姐姐，触到了她内心的疼痛之处。就在这时，小胡子放肆地伸出手，在姐姐的屁股上使劲掐了一下。 姐姐尖叫了一声，王杰的歌声也戛然而止，姐姐扬起手，狠狠地扇了小胡子一巴掌。姐姐的尖叫和清脆的掌声，把酒吧里所有人的目光吸引过来，酒吧里顿时一片寂静。那时胡丽在厨房里烤肉串，根本不知道外面发生了什么。挨打的小胡子气急败坏地站起来，冲着姐姐吼叫道：“臭婊子，你敢打我！”姐姐冷冷地说：“打的就是你这种流氓！”小胡子气得发抖，他用颤抖的手抄起了一个空啤酒瓶子，举过头顶，要砸姐姐。姐姐蔑视地看着他，说：“有种你就砸，往我头上砸，把我砸死！我早就不想活了。”小胡子举着啤酒瓶的手还在颤抖，他说：“你，你别逼我！”就在这时，一个高大的身影从某个角落里晃过来，挡在了姐姐面前，他手中也提着一个空啤酒瓶子，他回过头，对姐姐说：“不要怕。”说完，他扭过头，举起啤酒瓶，坚定地朝小胡子的头上砸了下去，啤酒瓶在小胡子头上炸开了花，玻璃渣子四处飞溅，血也从小胡子的头上涌了出来。 酒吧里人们的激情被高个男子的行为点燃，顿时一片叫好声。 小胡子歪歪扭扭地倒了下去。 有人说：“他会不会死了？” 有人惊恐起来。 姐姐也有些惊恐，这毕竟是一条人命，她的身体微微发抖。高个男人对她说：“不要怕，我一人做事一人当。” 这个高个男人就是被胡丽称为孬种的宋海波。姐姐感激地看了他一眼，也替他担心。 这时，胡丽端着一盘烤肉串走出来，看到厅里的情景，赶紧跑过去，说：“怎么了，怎么了？”王杰走到她身边，说：“那孙子耍流氓，欺负婉榕，被宋海波砸了一啤酒瓶子。”胡丽突然哈哈大笑起来，拍了拍宋海波的肩膀，说：“海波，你让我刮目相看呀，有种！有种！你要早这样，你对象就不会跟人跑了。”胡丽的话显然不合时宜，宋海波却没有生气，反而笑了笑说：“过奖，过奖！”胡丽没再理会他，而是朝躺在地上的小胡子踢了两脚，说：“起来，起来，别装死，你这样的人老娘见多了！”有人说：“他不会死了吧？”胡丽说：“哪那么容易死，不就一啤酒瓶吗，老娘也挨过，我现在不活得好好的？”她又踢了小胡子两脚，说：“快起来滚吧，要是我哥来了，你就死定了！”胡丽的话音刚落，小胡子突然从地上爬起来，双手捂着受伤的头往外面跑，走到门口，他回过头恶狠狠地说：“你们等着，你们等着——” 胡丽说：“等着你，龟儿子！” 小胡子消失后，酒吧里一阵欢呼。 姐姐什么也没说，默默地走进房间，关上了门。宋海波也没有说什么，离开了狼毒花酒吧。酒吧打烊后，姐姐有点害怕，害怕小胡子带人来报复。关上酒吧门后，她还用一根粗木头顶在门上。胡丽无所谓，她说：“姐，别怕，给他一百个胆也不敢来。”姐姐说：“还是小心为妙。”胡丽说：“姐，两年过去了，你还是如此多虑，有什么好怕的呢，大不了一死嘛，在这样乌七八糟的世界，活着都不怕，还怕死！反正，我是抱着活一天算一天的念头，再没有什么能够让我害怕了。” 姐姐叹了口气，说：“你说得也对，有一天过一天吧。” 胡丽说：“睡觉吧，别想太多了，想多了累脑子，本来这里氧气就不够。” 让姐姐觉得奇怪的是，那个晚上竟然平安无事，而且，从那以后，小胡子就一直没有出现过，她再也没有见到过那个掐了自己屁股一下，又挨了一啤酒瓶的男人。男人真是怪东西，似乎每个男人都不一样，又仿佛都一样。 宋海波在那个晚上后，有一段时间没有踏进狼毒花酒吧，好像躲着什么。 姐姐到香格里拉的头两个月，一直都郁郁寡欢，两个月后，她脸上才偶尔出现笑容。扎西也是在她到来的两个月后才和她会上面，当然，扎西不是专门来看姐姐的。扎西一进门就咋咋唬唬。他的汉语不是很好，有些话姐姐听不太清楚，不知道他在说什么。扎西的嗓门很大，他一进门，酒吧里楼上楼下的人都知道他来了。他头上扎着辫子，穿着藏袍。他把半只牦牛放进厨房，就唬嚷嚷着要喝酒。 扎西第一眼看见姐姐，愣了一下。胡丽说：“哥，你怎么了？”扎西眼神慌乱地避开姐姐的脸，说：“没什么，没什么，喝酒，喝酒。”胡丽陪他喝酒，他们有说不完的话，扎西会把这段时间在路途中发生的事情告诉胡丽，胡丽也会说些他不知道的事情，比如姐姐和小胡子的冲突。姐姐插不上话，坐了会儿，就到院子里浇花。扎西的目光不时地往院子里瞟。 扎西高大粗壮，黑红的脸，浑身上下透出一股野性，那双眼睛却孩童般清澈。姐姐没有见过如此纯粹的男子，在她眼中，扎西是荒原中的雄狮，虽然充满野性，但没有汉地男人常见的猥琐和戾气。 扎西喝够了酒，就走了。 他没有和姐姐说太多的话，姐姐从他毫无遮拦的目光中明白了点什么。姐姐没有在意，她很明白，自己和他不可能发生什么，无论什么样的男人，她都不想和他发生什么故事了，未来怎么样，她已经不抱任何幻想。扎西走后，胡丽惊讶地端详着姐姐，说：“你发现没有，我哥喜欢你。”姐姐红着脸说：“别乱说，我这样一个老女人，残花败柳了，有谁会真喜欢。”胡丽说：“姐，如果我是男人，也会喜欢你，你有种说不出的魅力。”姐姐说：“小丽，别提男人，好不好？”胡丽点了点头。 不过，她又说：“如果我哥真的喜欢上你了，那怎么办？我哥还没有女朋友，我一直想给他找个女朋友。” 姐姐说：“你还说，我不可能再对谁动心了，求你，别说了，好吗？让我在这里安安稳稳地多呆几天。你要再说这些事情，我马上就走。” 胡丽不说了，轻轻地叹了口气。 胡丽以为扎西走后，又要很长时间才来喝酒。岂料没过几天，他又来了。扎西是骑着马来的，他的坐骑是匹漂亮的枣红马，他还牵着另外一匹雪青马。来到狼毒花酒吧门口，扎西跳下马，没有进门，喊叫道：“妹妹，出来——” 胡丽走了出来，说：“今天怎么骑马来了？” 扎西笑了笑，说：“我想带她出去玩。” 胡丽说：“带谁？” 扎西直接说：“李婉榕。” 胡丽说：“哥你太偏心了，也不带我。” 扎西笑着说：“你是我妹妹嘛。” 胡丽说：“好吧，正好也可以让我姐出去散散心。” 扎西说：“也不知道她会不会骑马？” 胡丽说：“会的，会的，以前我们去西藏，骑过马的。” 扎西说：“叫她出来吧。” 胡丽把姐姐叫了出来。姐姐看了看扎西，扎西今天穿着白色的衬衣和黑色的马裤，足蹬黑色靴子，十分精神。姐姐脸红了，说：“我不想去。”胡丽说：“去吧，去吧，我哥不是老虎，不会吃掉你的。”扎西也笑着说：“我妹说得是，我不是老虎，不会伤害你的。”姐姐认识的很多男人，起初都说不会伤害她，到头来还是给她的心灵留下了不可磨灭的伤痕。姐姐叹了口气，骑上了马，她不想让扎西难堪。 扎西开心地骑上马，对姐姐说：“走吧。” 姐姐骑着马和他走了。 看着他们离去，胡丽若有所思，心里突然忐忑不安，担心他们会发生什么预想不到的事情。 扎西把姐姐带到一片辽阔的大草甸子上。天蓝，阳光灿烂，草甸子上各种野花盛开。整个大草甸子就他们两人。这是没有开发的草甸子，游客几乎找不到这个地方。姐姐的心情也辽阔起来，她兴奋得策马狂奔。扎西在后面追赶着她。很快地，扎西超越了她。姐姐不服输，追赶着扎西。扎西的马术肯定比姐姐好，姐姐怎么也追不上他，就那一会儿工夫，扎西就远远地把姐姐扔在了后面。姐姐还是不停地追赶，她狠狠地在马屁股上抽了几鞭子，马儿吐着粗气，以最快的速度飞奔。突然，马失前蹄，姐姐被摔了出去。扎西回头看了一眼，发现姐姐摔落在草丛里，赶紧打马回来。姐姐趴在草丛里，死了一般。扎西来到姐姐身边，跳下马，焦虑地说：“你没事吧？”他蹲下来，伸出手，推了推姐姐。姐姐说：“没事，让我趴会儿。”扎西说：“真的没事吗？有没有受伤？”姐姐说：“真的没事，没有受伤，只是吓坏了，让我平静会儿。”扎西这才放下心来，坐在草地上，陪着姐姐。 过了好大一会儿，姐姐才翻过身，面向湛蓝的天空躺着，她长长地叹了口气，说：“很久没有如此亲近大地了，我呼吸着青草的气息，好像回到了故乡，回到了童年，像是做梦一样。” 扎西说：“你的故乡在哪里？” 姐姐说：“福建闽西一个叫唐镇的小地方，那也是山区，不过，那里的山没有这里的高，也没有这里的雄峻。” 扎西的眼睛里充满了向往：“你故乡是不是也很美？” 姐姐说：“没有这里美。” 扎西说：“那应该也很美。我也想到外面的世界去看看，我长这么大，没有离开过藏地。我妹说要带我去汉地，可是我一直没有机会。” 姐姐说：“去看看可以，别迷恋汉地。” 扎西说：“以后有机会再说。你真的没有受伤？起来走走，看看有没有伤着手脚。” 姐姐动了动手和脚，说：“放心吧，没有问题，让我再躺会儿，我喜欢这样无忧无虑地躺着，就像躺在故乡河边的草地上，我喜欢青草的气味，也会让我迷醉。” 扎西说：“那你就躺着吧。” 他站起来，在草地上采了一束野花，回到姐姐身边，坐下来，把那束野花递给姐姐。姐姐把花束放在鼻子上闻了闻，说：“好香呀。”她把花束放在了胸脯上，姐姐的胸脯随着她的呼吸起伏，花束也在起伏。扎西说：“喜欢吗？”姐姐说：“喜欢。”扎西也躺了下来，他拔了根草，叼在嘴巴上。姐姐说：“要是永远这样躺着，该有多好，没有忧伤，没有悲情，也不要有欢乐，就是这样平平静静地躺着。”扎西说：“那样会饿死的。”姐姐说：“是呀，浪漫毕竟当不了饭吃。” 一阵风吹过来，十分凉爽。 扎西说：“你知道我为什么嘴巴里叼着草根吗？” 姐姐说：“不知道，为什么呢？” 扎西说：“我说了你可不要害怕。” 姐姐说：“你说吧，我不怕，其实我胆子很大的，我什么也不怕，就怕伤情。” 扎西说：“草甸子上有很多鬼魂在游荡，我躺在这里，鬼魂会过来，以为我死了，要带走我的灵魂。我嘴巴里叼着草根，草根一直在动，鬼魂看到后，就知道我是活人，就不会带走我的灵魂了。” 姐姐说：“真的？” 扎西呵呵大笑。 姐姐说：“你笑什么呀？” 扎西说：“笑你呀，我知道你害怕了。” 姐姐说：“我真的没怕，就让鬼魂把我带走好了。” 扎西突然认真地说：“鬼魂带不走你的，只要我在这里，鬼魂就不敢带走你，我会保护你的。” 姐姐内心涌起某种久违的温暖和感动。 他们躺在草地上说话的时候，那两匹马在不远处吃草。 姐姐想到一个问题，说：“扎西，你为什么要带我出来玩？” 扎西说：“见你第一面的时候，我就从你的眼睛里看出了问题。你很不快乐，内心不快乐的人就是笑也好像在哭，我看得出来，你心思很重，一定是有什么难言之隐。所以，我想带你出来，骑骑马，看看风景，也许会好受些。” 姐姐眼睛湿了，她其实是很容易动感情的人，正因为她容易动感情，也很容易受到伤害。姐姐说：“谢谢你，扎西。” 扎西爽朗地说：“不用谢，这是我应该做的。你是我妹的姐姐，也是我的姐姐。” 是的，姐姐的年龄比他大。 姐姐说：“除了带我出来散心，还有别的原因吗？” 扎西说：“没有。” 姐姐试探地说：“你不喜欢我？” 扎西没有说话，看着天上一朵闪亮的白云飘过，白云仿佛是美丽的仙子。 姐姐说：“扎西，回答我，好吗？” 扎西说：“怎么说呢，我也喜欢我妹，当然也喜欢你，可是，这不是那种喜欢，我很快就要结婚了，是我们村里的姑娘，她长得很漂亮，很多小伙子追求她的，她就喜欢我一个人，我们已经订婚了，等结婚时，我请你和我妹来喝喜酒。” 姐姐心里一块石头落了地，是自己多心了，她误会了这个淳朴的藏族汉子。可为什么胡丽说他没有女朋友呢？ 扎西回答了她这个问题：“这事情我连我妹都没有告诉，你也不要告诉她，到时给她一个惊喜。她总是说，我再不找女朋友，就老了。哈哈，她太小看我了，我怎么会找不到女朋友？” 姐姐笑了。 扎西说：“休息好了吗？” 姐姐说：“好了。” 扎西说：“那我们骑马再去看看风景吧。” 姐姐说：“好。” 扎西朝那两匹马的方向吹了个嘹亮的唿哨，两匹马听到唿哨声，抬起头，朝他们奔跑过来。他们重新骑上马，朝草甸子深处走去。扎西唱起了歌，藏族民歌，歌声嘹亮优美，姐姐从来没有听过如此纯粹的歌声。扎西告诉她，他唱的是情歌，是男人追求女人时唱的情歌。姐姐说：“你唱得真好，不去当歌唱家，太可惜了。”扎西乐了，说：“我们这里的人，都会唱歌跳舞，唱得比我好的不知道有多少，遍地都是歌唱家。”姐姐也笑了，说：“扎西，你给你未婚妻唱过情歌吗？”扎西说：“当然唱，有一段时间，我每天早上在她家门前的山坡上唱，她一听到我的歌声就打开了门，站在门口看着我傻笑。” 一阵风吹过来，把姐姐的头发吹乱了。 ... 那个晚上，姐姐对胡丽说，这是她有生以来最平静的一天。姐姐把一天里的事情告诉了胡丽，只有扎西要结婚的事情没有告诉她，姐姐答应过扎西，给他保守这个秘密。 宋海波自从那次用酒瓶子砸破了小胡子的头之后，好久没有来狼毒花酒吧喝酒。秋天来临后的一天晚上，他才踏进狼毒花酒吧的门。他一进狼毒花酒吧，目光就四处搜寻姐姐的身影。他没有看到姐姐。他还是坐在角落里，边喝酒边看着酒吧里的男男女女聊天喝酒，他们说什么，他都听不进去。胡丽把两瓶啤酒放在他面前的桌面上，说：“海波兄，你好久没有来了呀。”宋海波笑了笑，低声说：“你知道我胆小怕事，说实话，我用酒瓶子砸了人，后悔死了，也害怕极了，担心小胡子报复我，所以我就到昆明去躲了一段时间，我感觉应该没事了，才敢回来。”胡丽笑了，说：“你明明是老鼠胆，还要逞英雄，活该。那天你要不出手，王杰也会出手的。” 宋海波也笑了笑，说：“没办法，那晚也是鬼使神差，脑袋一热就上了，我的脑袋很少那样发热的。” 胡丽说：“就冲着你那难得的脑袋发热，我就改变了对你的印象，你不是孬种，是条汉子。我一直想替我姐感谢你，却一直没有找到机会。今夜你终于出现了，这样吧，今天晚上你随便喝，喝多少酒都算在我头上，一会儿我还要烤肉给你吃。” 宋海波说：“谢谢，谢谢。” 胡丽说：“应该的，应该的。” 宋海波说：“怎么没看到你姐？她走了？” 胡丽说：“你还记得我姐？” 宋海波说：“当然，怎么也忘不了，我一直记得她忧郁的眼神，想起她忧郁的眼神，我心里就会疼痛。” 胡丽说：“你还是别想了，她不会喜欢你的。” 宋海波说：“她喜不喜欢我，不重要，重要的是我可以一直想着她，心里有个人，活得比较踏实。能告诉我她到哪里去了吗？”胡丽叹了口气说：“天下怎么就有你们这些情圣呢。我姐上个月走了，去白马村村小支教了。”宋海波说：“是雪山脚下的那个白马村吗？”胡丽点了点头。宋海波说：“她和你在一起好好的，怎么就去了白马村？”胡丽说：“虽然我们是好姐妹，可是我们还是不一样。我姐不喜欢酒吧里喧闹的生活，她说看到那么多人挤在酒吧里喝酒玩闹，她头就发晕。她来这里，就是来寻找平静生活的。我体谅她，不能因为我再扰乱她的心绪，就让我哥给她找了个村小，在那里教孩子们语文，白马村小正好缺汉语老师。”宋海波说：“她在那里过得好吗？”胡丽说：“还可以吧，最起码比在酒吧里要强，属于她自己的时间十分充裕，她可以在那里慢慢地疗伤，恢复元气。”宋海波说：“来这里之前，她到底发生过什么事情？”胡丽说：“喝你的酒吧，该问的问，不该问的就不要问了，她和你没有什么关系。”宋海波不再说话，独自喝酒，胡丽也去忙着招待客人了。 大雪封山前，白马村小放假了，所有的人都离开了学校，姐姐也回到了香格里拉古城。那时，古城的旅游业也进入了淡季，汉地来这里开客栈和酒吧的老板大都离开了此地，有的回老家，有的去度假了，还有的去大理休息。古城宛如一座空城，冷冷清清，夏日里的热闹荡然无存。 胡丽是不会离开的，她早已把这里当家了，说要在这里老死。姐姐没有来的那三年里，她都独自一人在狼毒花酒吧里过冬，像条冬眠的蛇。要不是有个别没有走的朋友以及扎西来看望她，她会缩在被窝里几天不起床，干粮和水就放在床旁边，有时冻得半死，才发现炉火早灭了，很不情愿地起来重新生火。王杰也是不离开的人，他看守张冲的客栈，偶尔会过来让胡丽弄顿好吃的，吃饱喝足后，唱歌给胡丽听，其实也是唱给自己听，孤独寂寞的人有时需要自己唤醒自己，那样才感觉到自己还活着，还存在于尘世。王杰曾经追求过胡丽，没有成功，胡丽心如铁石，根本就不可能答应他的求爱。有一次，王杰喝完酒，问她：“胡丽，你还是女人吗？”胡丽说：“哥们，这还用问吗？”王杰说：“我不相信你一个女人会没有欲望，你难道就没有难以忍耐的时候？”胡丽说：“早就没有了，想起做那种事情，我就觉得恶心。别说这些废话了，你要把我当哥们，就好好喝酒唱歌，你要玩什么，我陪你，但是，千万别往那个地方想，想歪了，我会把你赶出门，不会再允许你踏进狼毒花酒吧一步！”她的话十分决绝，王杰也就彻底死了那条心。王杰偶尔也会找个文艺女青年睡上一觉，胡丽就是知道了也不会说什么，那事情和她真没有什么关系。 这个冬季，姐姐给狼毒花酒吧带来了些许生气。 姐姐也就是在这个冬季，学会了弹吉他，学会了一些歌，最重要的是，学会了唱《不要怕》这首歌。有段时间，王杰睡醒就往狼毒花酒吧跑，他要教姐姐弹吉他和唱歌。其实，姐姐的嗓音并不好，王杰鼓励她唱。王杰说：“不要怕，唱吧。”姐姐听到“不要怕”这三个字，内心有种莫名的感动，她说：“对，不要怕。”他们在弹吉他和唱歌，寂寥的狼毒花酒吧有了生气，古城也有了生气。胡丽也不像往年那样冬眠了，只好起床，陪着他们，然后给他们准备食物。他们主要的食物就是土豆和肉，胡丽变着法子做菜，她能够把土豆做出十多种花样，以免他们吃腻了。 姐姐抱着吉他唱《不要怕》的样子让胡丽着迷。 胡丽说：“我知道为什么会有那么多男人喜欢你了，你看你那眼神，忧伤中透出一种无所谓，仿佛洞察一切；你看你那表情，楚楚动人，柔弱中带着决绝，让人怜爱；你的歌声是发自内心的呐喊，而不是做作的演唱。姐，你真的很美。” 姐姐说：“你别夸我，我不是你说的那样。” 也许是姐姐的歌声传进了宋海波的耳朵，他偷偷地来到狼毒花酒吧的门口。门关闭着，姐姐在里面歌唱。宋海波把脸贴在门上，目光透过门缝，往里面窥视。他看到姐姐、胡丽和王杰围坐在厅中央的火盆边，王杰弹着吉他，姐姐在放声歌唱，胡丽给火盆里添柴。宋海波心里忐忑不安的，想进去和他们在一起，又害怕什么。经过一阵思想斗争，他决定进去。宋海波敲了敲门。 胡丽说：“这时候有谁会来？” 王杰说：“是不是扎西？” 胡丽说：“他前两天才来过，昨天晚上下大雪，他出不了山的，不可能吧。” 王杰说：“去看看吧。” 胡丽去开了门，发现是宋海波，说：“你怎么来了？” 宋海波脸红了，额头上的那条刀疤也更红了。他说：“来看看，来看看。” 胡丽说：“外面冷，赶紧进来吧。” 宋海波进了屋，搬了椅子，坐在火盆边上，挨着王杰。他不敢用正眼看姐姐，而是用眼角的余光瞟姐姐。姐姐感觉到了他的目光，姐姐唱完歌，对他说：“上次谢谢你呀。”宋海波说：“不客气，不客气。” 胡丽说：“海波，你会唱歌吗，也来一首，让王杰给你伴唱。” 宋海波说：“我五音不全，不会唱，不会唱。” 王杰说：“来一首吧，自娱自乐，怎么唱都可以。” 宋海波说：“饶了我吧，我真不会唱歌。” 姐姐说：“你们别为难他了，看他窘迫的样子，多难受呀。” 胡丽笑了，说：“海波，你说实话，今天来，是不是冲着我姐来的？” 宋海波低下了头，不说话了。 姐姐说：“小丽，你别乱说。” 王杰笑了，说：“他就这熊样，有贼心没有贼胆。” 那个晚上，他们一起喝酒。宋海波没有什么话语，只是一个劲地喝酒，不管他们在说什么，也不