Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Between Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law
Ma Lisa was determined not to go to the airport, and I had no choice. There was no daughter at home, and we needed to clean up. Tian Erdao also needed Ma Lisa to bring her back.
So, I dressed up Tian Yidao, checked the time, and rushed to the airport after six o'clock.
Old Mr. Hu Gongdao is not bad, and because of the joint venture factory, he, Mrs. Hu, Xiao Zhang and Li and his wife also rushed to the airport.
Fifteen minutes late, the plane finally landed, and the passengers filed off.
My mother is nearsighted, and the glasses alone are half an inch thick and fat.The road is unsteady, and he likes to wear big flowers and green clothes.
Don't worry about her getting lost, she has always been "slowly", and must walk behind all the passengers.Maybe you have to ask the stewardess to help her get off the plane, otherwise you will go the wrong way.
This is the first time in her life that she has gone out. She has lived in Hong Kong all her life, so it is a big event to go out for the first time, and she still goes out alone.
Almost all the passengers had already walked into the immigration checkpoint, and my mother appeared in the cabin.
That's right, the stewardess supported her and walked down the stairs. The old man was still the same, not changed at all, a cheongsam with big green flowers, and a pair of glasses with deep myopia on his fat face.
She has a lot of luggage, except for the storage, both hands are full, and the stewardess even carried a basket for her.
She went down the stairs sideways and gradually, because of myopia, she was worried about falling, and her body was too long.
Although her movements are "half a beat", she will be faster than anyone else when there are cards rubbed.
It is also surprising to mention her nearsightedness.She almost stuck her nose to the paper when she read letters and newspapers.Sometimes people who recognize people will be mistaken for fragrant faces.
But it is special when shuffling cards, she is more agile than the blind swordsman's "Tingyin sword".Every card cannot escape her short-sightedness, which can be described as a unique "stunt"!
"Father, why hasn't mom come?" Tian Yidao sat on the stone railing of the reception platform and waited eagerly.
"Which mother are you talking about?"
"Your mother!"
"You should be called grandma!" I said, "Look, that fat one with glasses!"
"Is it the one holding a big foreign girl in her hand?" The child's eyes were much sharper, and she saw the toy before seeing anyone.
"By the way, holding a baby girl!"
"Does such a big person still play with foreign girls?"
"No! I think she is for you to play with!"
"Really?" Tian Yidao became happy, dancing.
We waited for more than ten minutes at the entrance of the country, and the inspection procedures were quite convenient.
After a while, my mother was led out of the gate by the porter pushing the luggage cart to meet us.
I let her see Tian Yidao first, so I picked up Tian Yidao and handed it to her.
I have already said that my mother's nearsightedness is at least a thousand degrees, and her face is no different from Xiang's face, which is equivalent to smelling people.
Her nose was like the antennae of an insect, and every part of Tian Yidao's round face was touched by her.
"Well, the little girl isn't looking bad, she's just a little skinny and doesn't eat well!" she said.
The foreign girl Tian Yidao has her ambition in her hands is willing to say anything.
She achieved her goal, and Yang Nuan held her in her arms.
From now on, I will introduce Mr. Hu Gongdao, Mrs. Hu, Xiao Zhang, Xiao Li... for my mother.
Mr. Hu Gongdao was very thoughtful in his preparations. He asked Xiao Li's wife to prepare a garland to put on his mother's head.
The person who was supposed to arrive didn't show up. Ma Lisa was really "thirteen o'clock", so she was the one who picked up the plane.I feel very guilty in my heart.
Mom made a mistake. She turned Xiao Li's wife over her head to look at it. She mistakenly took Xiao Li's wife as Ma Lisa.He also squeezed his arm and said:
"You're too thin! You haven't eaten well, you must take care of yourself after giving birth!"
I quickly explained: "In order to take care of the younger one, Ma Lisa didn't have a daughter at home, so she didn't come..."
My mother's eyes are not good, and her ears are not good. She didn't hear. When she found Xiao Zhang's wife, she turned her head to look at it, which made me very embarrassed.
"Which one is Marissa?" she asked.
I leaned into her ear and said, "Ma Lisa is at home looking after the children, so I didn't come!"
"Oh, yes, you already have two children!"
I especially introduced Mr. Hu Gongdao and his wife, and declared that he is half of our factory owner.In this way, mother can socialize with them.
Mr. Hu Gongdao is already a car class, and it is much more convenient to have his own car. After loading the luggage into the car, Xiao Li and Xiao Zhang hired another taxi and left first.
"Tonight I will be the host, and I have booked a banquet in the 'Happy Building'. It is better for Mrs. Tian and your family to arrive early!" Hu Gongdao said.
I quickly thanked him and said: "Mr. Hu is too polite, I am sorry to ask you to spend money!"
"What's the matter, in two days, I will entertain Lingtang to go sightseeing around!"
The car took us back to the apartment. Before leaving, Mr. Hu Gongdao repeatedly told us to arrive early at night anyway.
I rang the doorbell, but no one answered.If it weren't for Mr. Hu's driver to help with the luggage, I would have to take care of my mother and Tian Yidao. I really don't know what to do.
The door of the apartment was ajar.Pushing the door open, Ma Lisa was nowhere to be seen.
Tian Erdao was crying on the nannie's bed because she had a wet diaper.
Isn't it embarrassing for my mother to arrive in port for the first time?Fortunately, her old man's ears are not good, and her eyes are not bright, so she hasn't made a fool of herself.
Since Tian Erdao stayed at home, Ma Lisa would not run far away, so I hurried to look for it.The roof terrace, the streets and alleys...
It turned out that she was actually in the neighbor's apartment, and the parents of several delinquent teenagers had drafted a settlement agreement, which needed to be signed and stamped by both parties before it could take effect.
Parents always have a lot of painstaking efforts. They try their best to save their unscrupulous sons from a lawsuit.
Therefore, the reconciliation letter is evasive, and they will not mention what happened.An understatement of "a misunderstanding" represents everything!
Marisa insisted that they add all the details of what happened.Herein lies the contention!
They argued over the text, and forgot Tian Erdao who stayed at home.
Tian Erdao cried and cried, but she didn't know.
When the parents of those bad boys saw me, they always bowed to me.It's a completely different situation when they are going to be brutal with their children.
I said: "Don't talk about any issues today, there are important things at home!"
A few of them began to pester me again, hoping to sign and seal a formality immediately.
I said: "My mother just arrived in Taipei from Hong Kong, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law haven't met yet. She came here specially to see her granddaughter. Fortunately, she just brought her back. Otherwise, the elderly have different ideas, and she would advocate this. A lawsuit to the end! Wouldn't it be more troublesome then?"
The parents of one of the delinquent teenagers knew how to behave, and he rushed to say: "Since Lingtang is in Taipei for the first time, we are sorry to delay your family reunion. To be honest, we are now the beginning of making friends, and we should give Let the hall take the wind, choose a relatively free time of the day, and let us be the host!"
I said, "Don't dare to disturb! Jiaci is not used to socializing, so don't spend money!"
"Where, although we are presumptuous, we will become good friends in the future!" said another parent.
"After signing and stamping the settlement agreement, we will lose one procedure!"
"Give Lingtang a welcome and set up a banquet, even if we formally apologize to your family!"
I said: "About ordering a settlement agreement, it is best to have a lawyer do it. I will notify the lawyer of my factory and contact a few people!"
"It's much more troublesome to have a lawyer come forward!"
Ma Lisa rushed to say: "If you discipline your children more on weekdays, wouldn't it save you a lot of trouble?"
The parents of several unscrupulous teenagers looked at each other in blank dismay, and the negotiation came to an end.We are determined to let lawyers do things, and there is nothing they can do.
Marisa meets her mother.
Mother held Tian Erdao in her arms, and opened a lot of luggage on the ground, but Tian Yidao was very happy.
There are so many things to buy for Tian Yidao, including things to play, eat, and wear.
Tian Erdao was also really strange, she stopped crying and making trouble in her grandmother's arms.Staring at a pair of round eyes, she looked around, but she couldn't understand anything.
My mother is very short-sighted, and when they meet their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they still have to "make a good face" as usual, otherwise how could mother see clearly what Ma Lisa looks like?
Marisa's bruised eye was discovered.
My mother said: "How can you have dark circles at a young age? We old people say that dark circles are a phenomenon of loss. Young people should take care of their health, especially after giving birth. They should take more supplements, stay up late less, and not waste energy. There is still a long time to live!"
Ma Lisa stuck out her tongue, not daring to make any reply.
My mother asked me to hold Tian Erdao.She rummaged through the luggage again.
It's really hard to watch her find things, it's like sniffing with her nose!
"Well! Here it is!" She finally found out what looked like a jewelry box.He waved to Ma Lisa, "Come here!"
Ma Lisa naturally obeyed the order and stepped forward.
"Hold out your hand!" Mom said, taking out an emerald ring from the jewelry box.
Because of the fierce fight, Ma Lisa was injured on both hands. There was a bandage in her right hand, and red medicine and gauze were applied to her left hand.
She had no choice but to stretch out the hand covered with red medicine and gauze.
Mom took her palm and put the emerald ring on Marisa's finger.
"Why are your hands so thick? Do you wash your own clothes?" Mom asked with concern.
Of course, Ma Lisha was embarrassed to admit that she practiced "Karate Splitting Sand Palm", so she had to say: "There is no hired girl at home, and all operations are done by myself!"
"No wonder the palms are so thick. In the future, you can use soap powder to wash clothes. It is convenient and does not hurt your hands. At such a young age, your hands seem to be picking mud. How ugly!" She seemed to be very concerned about her daughter-in-law.
Ma Lisa was obedient and did not argue. I thought in my heart that practicing "sand splitting palm" would hurt my hands more than washing clothes.
Mom pulled out another diamond watch and put it on Marisa. "Hold out your other hand!" she said.
Marisa's other hand was covered with bandages, and it didn't look good when it was stretched out.
Perhaps this is a traditional custom in Hong Kong. The jewelry given by the mother-in-law to the daughter-in-law needs to be worn one by one for her.
Mom took out another diamond watch, which she intended to put on Marisa's other hand.
But Marisa's other hand was also covered with bandages. She looked and looked and said:
"What are you doing wearing gloves in hot weather? What kind of banquet are you attending?"
"No, I burned my hand by cooking!" Ma Lisa replied falsely.
"Nowadays I use electric cookers for cooking, don't you buy electric cookers at home?"
"No! I ironed my clothes while I was cooking, and the iron hurt me!" She quickly changed her answer.
"Since this is the case, we should try to find workers. If things go on like this, there is no way!"
"It's really hard to find a girl. If she's mischievous, if her hands and feet are dirty, or if she doesn't know how to do things, she won't be perfect!" Ma Lisa said.
Mother gave Ma Lisa quite a lot of jewelry, in addition to rings and watches, there are also pearl earrings, pearl necklaces, boutonnieres, and another pair of jade bracelets are said to have been passed down from her grandmother.
Mother gave Tian Yidao and Tian Erdao a gold medal and a gold chain for "Longevity and Wealth" as her meeting gift.It was also kept by Ma Lisa, and it was packed in that jewelry box.
It was night, and we didn't need to cook at home, because old Mr. Hu Gongdao hosted a banquet in "Happy Building" for his mother, so that Ma Lisa would not make a fool of himself in the kitchen.
"An ugly daughter-in-law needs to see her father-in-law." There is no servant in the house, and Ma Lisa can't take care of housework.
Xiao Li's wife was very helpful, and she sent us an "old lady" that night.
It is said to be very reliable, a northerner from the inland, with a pair of "liberated feet" fat balls, like a tiger dog.
Xiao Li's wife said: "Just call her Mrs. Chen!"
The maids in the north are very strange, they have to be called sister-in-law. As far as I know, the female workers in Hong Kong are called sisters and sisters, and they are called mothers and mothers in Shanghai, but in Taiwan they are called Axiang, Amei, Azhu, A flowers...
But her name is Mrs. Chen.
Mrs. Chen lives alone in Taiwan, with no relatives.But she has quite a lot of luggage, suitcases, quilts, pots and pans, jewelry boxes, books...
It is rare for a maid to bring books to work.
I took a peek and found that, except for a very thick Bible, all those books were propaganda books of the church.
Unexpectedly, Mrs. Chen is a church member, and there is a cross hanging on her chest.
This is good, my mother is a devout Buddhist, Marisa is an atheist, and a maid comes who believes in God.
Religious freedom will unfold in my home.
After all, Mrs. Chen is an old maid from mainland China, and she is very good at beckoning children. She brought big and small bags of candy to Tian Yidao as a meeting gift.
Tian Yidao has a problem with gluttony, and whoever has something to eat can guarantee friendship.
The court came to the notice of the investigation court. I have never been involved in a lawsuit in my life. I don't know what is called the investigation court and what is called the debate court. Anyway, I just appear in court. The parents of several delinquent teenagers put pressure on them, and they "take turns to fight" as if they were haunted, some came to ask for help, and some made phone calls from time to time. What they mean is that if they get to the point of a lawsuit, "the lawsuit will end in the end", and in the end both parties will lose. It is better to settle as soon as possible, so as not to waste time and money. In fact, they were worried that their children would be prosecuted, and it would be much more troublesome then. Fortunately, our plastic flower factory has hired a long-term legal adviser. The lawyer is a good friend of Mr. Hu Gongdao, and he still has a lot of status in the judicial circle. When I went to ask him for advice.He said: "It doesn't matter, leave everything to me! Fighting is impossible. Ma Lisa is out of self-defense. At the same time, she is doing it for her daughter. Parents should love their children and have the right to maintain their safety. We have a barber shop." Tian Yidao was kidnapped or abducted! The current society hates delinquent teenagers for their misdeeds, and when a lawsuit starts, only they will suffer, so just rest assured!" So I handed over all the questions to lawyer Wu with full authority. Lawyer Wu is very powerful. He insists on asking the parents of those bad boys to compensate for their losses, otherwise he will never sign a settlement agreement. The statements of the police station are not good for those delinquent teenagers, and Ma Lisa has an injury report in the public hospital. At that time, there were three witnesses from the plastic flower factory, and one of them went to the police station to call the police.Both the proprietress and the hairdresser of the barber shop have voluntarily testified in court, reporting the disappearance of Tian Yidao at that time.I can't help but bow their heads to those rich and powerful parents of unscrupulous teenagers. But the prosecutor still has to open a court investigation, and the lawyers of both parties agreed to present the settlement certificate in court, praying for understanding. Both Ma Lisa and Tian Yidao and I are parties involved, and we must appear in court to appear for hearing. On this day, without telling our mother, we arrived at the court on time with lawyer Wu.I really don't know each other.Those unscrupulous teenagers who were beaten up are all here, and it's really pitiful to see them.All of them were bruised and bruised, some had their heads covered with gauze, some had bandages hanging on their arms covered with plaster, some had broken legs and supported crutches...all of them looked in a state of distress. The parents of those delinquent boys were also very pitiful, including their aunts and aunts, who were all present, as if they were participating in some grand event.I believe that's the case. I have spoiled my children on weekdays, and now I can't blame others. After the trial, the prosecutor was a little bit unconvinced. Ma Lisa was small, with delicate features, and a mother of two children. How could she deal with more than twenty delinquent teenagers by herself? Lawyer Wu said: "Tian Ma Lisa has the qualifications of the fourth degree of judo and the third degree of karate. She is very reserved in not breaking up the bones of these villains!" The prosecutor still refused to believe it. He thought it must be a group fight, otherwise the delinquent teenagers would not have been beaten all over. Lawyer Wu said: "Tian Ma Lisa can split a two-inch thick board with one palm. If you don't believe it, you can try it on the spot. As long as the court does not think it is impolite, you can prove it!" Ma Lisa hurriedly said: "My right hand has been injured, if I want to perform, I have to use my left hand!" "Is your left hand working too?" Attorney Wu asked. "The left hand was hurt too, but nothing serious!" she replied. The prosecutor also became curious. He neither admitted nor objected.Attorney Wu had been prepared for a long time, and took out a polished wooden board from his briefcase, and put it on the corner of the fence for the court hearing. He motioned to Marisa. Ma Lisa was stunned. She approached the plank, breathed a sigh of relief, and took a ready posture. With a shout, he raised his hand and dropped his palm, and with a sound of "Slap!", the board snapped in half. The delinquent boys present looked at each other in blank dismay. If they had known that Ma Lisa had this kind of kung fu, they wouldn't have made such a fuss. The prosecutor kept his serious face, smiled half a smile, nodded and said: "Good fight, good fight!" There were as many as three lawyers hired by the parents of those delinquent teenagers, and at this time they began to submit settlement documents. Reconciliation is another matter. If the prosecutor thinks that the delinquent juveniles have committed serious crimes and need no consideration, they can still prosecute them. The power rests with the prosecutors, but generally speaking, benevolence can be given outside the law, and the law of the country is based on the laws of nature, and in the end, it is still about human feelings.Let alone these underage children? Prosecutors asked Ma Lisa first, saying: "Are you willing to settle with them?" Marisa said, "I've already taught them a lesson, so it doesn't matter!" The prosecutor called the children to the court one by one, lined up, and reprimanded them one by one. "Your family is very good. Why don't you study well during your studies? This time, I'm giving you a chance to reform your mistakes for the sake of your parents. Next time, you will definitely be sent to the criminal court for heavy punishment!" The prosecutor's final ruling was to order the parents to take it back. Even if this lawsuit is down.We don't know what gimmick Mr. Wu played. The parents of delinquent boys were compensated. As far as Ma Lisa was concerned, she got a set of expensive clothes, half a dozen glass socks, leather shoes and bags, etc. Tian Yidao also has compensation for new clothes and candies. Lawyer Wu did not charge us legal fees. He said: "The legal fees shall be borne by the other party!" My mother has lived in Hong Kong for many years. That small place has a population of more than four million, and it is crowded everywhere. This is the first time she came to Taiwan, the environment is completely different, there are many places for her to visit. It just so happens that the factory is very busy these days, and the export orders have to be delivered on schedule.If there is no one to supervise the work, it will definitely be delayed. Marisa will leave it to Ma Lisa to accompany her mother to travel around the mountains and rivers. At home, Mrs. Chen can take care of Tian Erdao, and Ma Lisa only needs to take Tian Yidao with her to rest assured.Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives are also very helpful, and they come to help and keep company when they have nothing to do. They have visited all the places of interest in the suburbs of Taipei City, such as Bitan, Wulai, Yehliu, Xiangong Temple, Shimen Reservoir... It was Tian Yidao who had the most fun. His mother was nearsighted, and she was the same everywhere she went. She only saw green mountains, green waters, seas and sky. Xiao Zhang's wife is the most particular about food. She has a good intention to let her mother eat different flavors every meal. Living in Hong Kong, I eat all Cantonese flavors, but restaurants in Taiwan cover everything.Cantonese cuisine, Fujian cuisine, Yunnan cuisine, Hunan cuisine, Shanxi restaurant, Shandong restaurant, northern restaurant, Mongolian barbecue... There are all kinds of dishes. But they were all in vain. My mother couldn't eat anything but Cantonese food. The spicy food was too spicy, the salty food was too salty, and the oily food was too greasy, let alone Mongolian barbecue.The scallions and garlic are simply not flavorful. She is not interested in traveling in mountains and rivers, so Xiao Li's wife came up with another "trick"!Tourism in Taipei City is booming.Various nightclubs, large and small karaoke halls. Sightseeing in nightclubs and karaoke halls is much easier, and there is no need to run outside. The problem is that my mother can only hear but not see. It is the same for Zhang San Li Si who sings.She can't understand English songs, and she can't understand Mandarin songs, isn't it still boring! I don't know which nightclub has a poster of Pingju opera on the front door, and Guan Yunchang's costume is also printed on it.The face is like a jujube, the red phoenix eyes lie on the eyebrows of silkworms, the five willows have beautiful beards, and the Qinglong Yanyue sword is in his hand! The drama is really good, the ancient city meeting, the capture and release of Cao Huarong, all are stories of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Mom didn't see anything, she saw Guan Yunchang, and said, "Oh, is there a big show in Taipei?" "That's Pingju!" Ma Lisa replied. "In Hong Kong, I either play mahjong or listen to big plays!" she said. "do you understand?" "I can recite almost all the big plays, so why not understand?" In fact, Ma Lisa doesn't understand herself, she doesn't know anything about Pingju.So when my mother wanted to watch a big show, she frowned. At this time, it happened that a world-renowned wrestling champion came to Japan, so-called "Budaoshan".He also brought his own opponent to perform in a sports field. This kind of performance is the right way for Ma Lisa, and she has long wanted to appreciate it.Because the performance time is only three days in total, it is rare to miss the opportunity. "Can't you see it?" She lobbied again. "Just listen to it!" Mom said. Ma Lisa had no choice but to buy tickets in advance and invited Xiao Zhang and Li's wife as companions. Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives also know little about Ping opera, and at the same time they also have a prejudice, thinking that Guan Gong drama is for men, and they usually listen to Er Jingong, Su Sanqi Jie, what is the iron bow, Guan Gong Never heard of the play. After dinner, I went to the theater, and as soon as the gongs and drums beat in the civil and martial arts field, my mother felt that something was wrong. That night, a high official happened to be present to listen to the play, and there was a special performance of "Dancing with Officials" on the stage. My mother's short-sighted eyes only saw a white-faced man jumping around on the stage. She said, "Why did Cao Cao come out so soon?" "That's not Cao Cao, it's a promotion!" Xiao Li's wife said. "What is called jumping official?" "That's a good sign, and it's also a sign of welcome and respect!" "Who is welcome?" "Of course you are welcome to be an official! Could it be that there are no Cantonese dramas who have joined the official?" Xiao Li's wife asked back. "I did not see it!" The opening gong opera is the ancient city meeting, Guan Yunchang sends his wife off, and the gongs and drums are clanging and clanging, which is similar to the Cantonese opera. Ma Tong came out first and turned somersaults, jumping around, just like Sun Monkey going down Huaguo Mountain. Guan Yu appeared on the stage, and his mother's nearsightedness could still be seen, with a big red face, a tiger red robe, and a Qinglong Yanyue sword in his hand, so majestic.After playing with the stable boy for a while, he began to sing. "What is it singing?" Mom asked again. "Gucheng Hui Guandi! Xun Yu." Xiao Li's wife is like her personal Pingju consultant. "Why sing 'Waijiang Dialect'?" Mom's question is a bit special. "Singing in Pingju!" "Aren't we watching Chinese dramas?" "National dramas are flat dramas!" It turned out that the poster my mother saw said it was a Chinese drama! "Cantonese music is called national music! Isn't Chinese drama the same as Cantonese drama?" she said. "No! Chinese music is Chinese music, and Chinese drama is Chinese drama!" "Hey, how can you separate Chinese music from big drama?" Xiao Li's wife was dumbfounded when asked, this kind of question is really difficult to answer. She used an excuse to go to the toilet and changed seats with Xiao Zhang's wife, in order to avoid wasting a lot of talking. It's better for Ma Lisa, she doesn't know anything anyway, so it's useless to ask her. "I don't understand a word!" Mom said. "I don't understand either!" Marisa said. "You are a 'Waijiang native', how can you not understand 'Waijiang Opera'?" Mom asked. "I've never heard of it since I was a child!" "Why do two people run out and take a piece of cloth?" Mom found that there were two more people on the stage. "That's not cloth! It's the city gate!" Xiao Zhang's wife replied. "Oh, are the sets so simple? Our Cantonese dramas are all three-dimensional sets now!" Mom said. "Pingju is originally a symbolic art. You can see that the stick in Guan Gong's hand represents the red rabbit horse!" Xiao Zhang's wife explained. Ma Lisa laughed and said, "I've been looking at it for a long time, but I can't figure it out. Why is Guan Gong dangling with a feather broom? It turns out that it represents the red rabbit horse..." The four of them were chattering endlessly, but the fans in the back seat got anxious and immediately booed everywhere. "You are so whimsical, Guan Gong took a feather broom..." Xiao Zhang's wife laughed endlessly. The boos from the backseat were louder, finally stopping them. After the "Ancient City Meeting" is over, the next step is "Catch and Release Cao".That's singing, it all depends on listening. "Is that bearded man on the stage Liu Bei?" Mom asked again. "No! That's Chen Gong!" Xiao Zhang's wife replied. "After Guan Gong trained his brother in the ancient city, how could it be Chen Gong who appeared?" "Now it's the second time, capture and release Cao!" "How did you jump from the ancient city to catch and release Cao? The story is all upside down, there is really no 'texture'!" Ma Lisa couldn't understand more than her mother, but she was too embarrassed to ask more questions because the audience behind her repeatedly booed them. She endured it for a while, and finally couldn't bear it anymore, and asked again: "Chen Gong holds a red candle in his hand, does that mean it's night?" "Of course it's night!" Xiao Zhang's wife wanted to answer various questions from their two mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, one on the left and the other on the right. "What's the use of taking a red candle and not lighting it?" "That's symbolic, it means a fire has been lit!" "Why save such a little effort? It's too troublesome to set up the scenery, so I propped up a piece of cloth instead of the city gate, and lighting a candle only needs to strike a match!" Xiao Zhang's wife can't answer this question, she has been asked stupidly. After a while, Cao Cao fell asleep, propped his head on his hands, and sat beside the wooden table. "Why doesn't he go to bed?" Marisa asked again. "Cao Cao is a generation of traitors, he sleeps sitting up!" Xiao Zhang's wife pretended to be clever and gave a crooked answer. "The opera singers are so good, they even know how the ancients slept!" Ma Lisa said. "Anyway, it's singing!" "What is Chen Gong doing?" "He is scolding Cao Cao for being unkind..." "No! He's singing non-stop beside Cao Cao!" "He intends to abandon Cao Cao and leave!" "What if he wakes up Cao Cao? Why don't you kill him?" Xiao Zhang's wife was tongue-tied, and coughing represented her answer.So she had no choice but to go to the toilet, and changed seats with Ma Lisa so that the two mother-in-law and daughter-in-law could sit together, so many questions could be studied and judged by themselves. "Chinese dramas are really bad. They sing ramblings one by one. Our Cantonese dramas are sung from the beginning to the end!" Mom said. Ma Lisa said: "I said earlier that it would be great to see 'Budao Mountain'!" "What's 'Budao Mountain'?" Mom thought it was the title of a play. "A wrestling champion came from Japan and performed in the gymnasium. It is said that he has wrestled all the invincible wrestlers in the world. With one palm, he can split ten tiles, three bricks..." Ma Lisa was straightforward in this regard. "Want to see a fight?" "Well, it depends on kung fu!" "What's so interesting about fighting!" "Well, the tickets for a show in Japan cost tens of dollars. Now they come to Taipei to perform, and the most expensive ticket is only NT$100. Besides, there are other shows like juggling. Brought by him!" "Who is he fighting with?" They didn't watch the play, and started chatting in their seats. "It is said that he is an expert in wrestling in Australia. He was hired by 'Budo Mountain' to be his opponent. Every night he fights to the point of bleeding!" "How terrible that is!" "However, as far as I know, the bleeding is fake, and you can see their wrestling skills by paying for tickets!" Ma Lisa said: "The performance is only three days in total, and today is the second day. Look, there will be no more chances!" She also showed an extremely longing look. "Why are you interested in this?" Mom said: "What about boxing, martial arts, wrestling, and ball games? It should be a show for men to watch!" Ma Lisa blinked her eyes, and she was embarrassed to explain that she herself was a judo practitioner, and she once had a very prominent fight, which was even reported in the newspapers. The sound of gongs and drums on the stage is the beginning of the finale "Huarong Road". "It's a good show!" Xiao Zhang's wife said to the two of them. "What kind of show?" Mom asked. "Hua Rong is blocking Cao!" "There is really no 'texture'. After arresting and releasing Cao, it was Hua Rong who blocked Cao. Where did it go? Could it be that there are no screenwriter talents in Taipei?" Mom said in a suspicious tone. "Ping scripts are originally published one by one..." "Oh, I don't understand, let's go!" Mom suggested. "Let's go?" Xiao Zhang's wife made a fuss and said, "This is the grand finale, look! Many people just came in, and they came to watch the grand finale!" "What's so interesting about rambling on and on?" Mom said. It was Xiao Li's wife who was smarter and said: "Yes, it's meaningless if you don't understand it, so let's go!" Marisa was exactly what she wished for, and she was the first to stand up. So, the four of them walked out of the theater, and they finally watched Pingju. "Where are we going?" Xiao Li's wife asked, fearing that she might not be attentive enough. "What time is it?" Mom asked. "At half past nine, it's too early to go home, and if you don't go home, you have nowhere to go!" Xiao Li's wife said. "After half past nine, there's no place to go except going to nightclubs!" Xiao Zhang's wife said. "I've been to almost all the first-class nightclubs, and the other small nightclubs are all places where some little Ah Fei went!" "It's no fun going to nightclubs all the time!" Mom said. "Let's go boating in Bitan. Wouldn't it be nice to take a ride in the cool wind?" Xiao Li's wife had another suggestion. "Boating is also good, and the freshwater prawns in Bitan are delicious!" Ma Lisa echoed. "Oh, in the middle of the night, why row a boat? I want to eat shrimp, where is there no place to eat?" Mom objected. "Maybe the old lady is tired and wants to go home to rest!" Xiao Zhang's wife expressed her reaction. "One, two, three, four!" Mom was counting the number of people, and it happened to be four people. "It happens to be four people!" The three wives were all in a daze, not knowing what mother was thinking. "I haven't rubbed cards since I came to Taiwan!" Mom finally expressed her heart. It turns out that the old lady has been thinking about "The Play of Fangcheng", no wonder she is listless wherever she goes. "So the old lady wants to play mahjong!" Xiao Li's wife laughed. "It's still early, you can rub twenty to twenty-four times!" Mom said, "Do you often rub cards too?" Ever since Ma Lisa tore Aunt Wang's nose crookedly when she rubbed the cards, it was tantamount to saying that she was "abstinence card".In fact, I was too embarrassed to rub my cards. But mother wants to rub the cards, how can she not accompany her? "I heard that you all play 'Lao Zhang' mahjong in Hong Kong!" Xiao Zhang's wife said. "Who said that? I've written all the 'new chapters and old chapters'. I'm afraid Hong Kong has more famous halls than you, such as 'full garden flowers', 'clear dragon mixed dragon', 'generally high', 'every high' , 'Big Seven vs. Little Seven'... Whatever you say, I understand everything!" Mom appeared in an old-fashioned manner, "like a few treasures", and she took the lead. Ma Lisa was stunned, and said: "What is a big seven pair? A small seven pair?" She wanted to ask for advice. "Seven pairs of cards! With six and a half pairs in hand, wouldn't it be a tie if you hang one card alone? That's calculated as 'all hands'!" "How do you call it size?" "There are four of them as two pairs, isn't it big? Or there are two 'Ankan' among them, and if they are three pairs, it is also counted as a big seven! Sigh, our 'New Chapter' is newer than yours Much more!" Mom began to cheer. "We also have something called 'Gone with the Wind', do you understand?" Ma Lisha and Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives were all passed the test, and their "duan" was lowered by one level as they looked at each other in blank dismay. "What is 'Gone with the Wind'?" Xiao Li's wife asked. "'Gone with the Wind' means 1,237,890,000, 1,230, 789, and a pair of mahjong. Even if it is Piao, its price is the same as that of 'Shuanglong Baozhu'!" Mom said . "Then six, seven, eight, six, seven, eight, one, two, thirty, one, two, three, do they count?" Ma Lisa's interest also came. "No! It must be counted from head to tail!" Mom said. "Actually playing 'Xin Zhang' mahjong and caring about 'legislation', if you say it exists, it does, and if you don't say it will work!" "Of course, everyone advocates that sometimes, the opportunities are equal!" In this regard, my mother was very enthusiastic when talking about it. "Do you have 'three numbers' and 'two numbers'?" "How do you call it 'three numbers' and 'two numbers'?" "Metaphorically speaking, all the cards are down to three numbers or two numbers?" "That's like 'a garden full of flowers'!" "No! Sometimes 'Blossoms in the Garden' are even taken away!" "How do you calculate two numbers?" Xiao Zhang's wife asked. “比喻说，碰八万，碰八筒，碰八条，碰三筒，二万做麻将，所有的牌，不就是只有两个数目吗？”妈妈解释说。 “那是'将将碰'嘛！”马莉莎说。 “当然，那是'将将碰'！但是要外加'二数'！比如说，你碰三万，碰三筒，碰三条，碰六筒，六条做麻将，不就是只有'二数'了吗？它就没有将将碰了！” “'三相碰'算不算呢？” “在这种情形之下，当外加'三相碰'！可是有时你碰了三万碰了三筒，又碰六万，又碰六条，六筒做麻将，你就光只有'对对和'及'二数'了！” “断么也要算的！”小李的太太说。 “对，对，你们的资格也很老到，一点即通！”妈妈“倚老卖老”。 “既然如此，我们'开始'就要趁早！”小张的太太兴趣也来了。 于是，她们匆忙雇了计程车疾驰返家“开台”。 麻将桌子摆开，才算是“对了路，对了劲”！她们终于发现了妈妈最喜欢的节目。 当初又何必那样的辛苦，东奔西走，长途跋涉，费煞了心机，老太太对游山玩水毫不感兴趣。什么夜总会、歌台舞榭，都索然无味，花了钱还费神费事，惹来了唠叨一大堆。 麻将桌子摆开，四个人往上一坐，“劈劈拍拍”地什么问题都解决了。 此一“战役”自是通宵达旦的不在话下了。直至晨间，我起床用早餐，她们仍在断断缺缺平和一般高。 陈嫂是笃信的基督徒，她告诉我说：“赌博是犯罪的！” 我说：“她们婆媳几个人自行娱乐就不算赌博了！” “上帝会不高兴的！” “上帝的事情你怎会知道的呢？” “会感觉到的，是应该到了该忏悔的时候了！”这是她的理论。 我懒得和她争论，早餐之后，就赶赴工厂去了。 这一天，锡兰来了一位客户，我们出品的塑胶花又增加了一条外销的路线。 签合约之外还请这位朋友去吃饭，有了应酬自然就不会回家了。 我将要离开工厂时，马莉莎来了电话。 她说：“我今晚上想去看'武道山'！这是最后的一晚，再不看的话就没有机会了！” 我说：“很好，你带着妈妈一起去看就是了！” “不！妈妈搓牌搓出了瘾，今晚上还要搓！” “哦，既然这样，让她搓牌就是了！” “问题就是搓牌少了一个人，我去看'武道山'她们就三缺一！” “小张和小李的太太不可以多找一个搭子吗？” “她们说，是陪我的婆婆搓牌，假如我不搓的话，她们也不搓！” “既然这样，你就别去看'武道山'算了！角力有什么好看呢？” “不！这是千载难逢的机会，我是研究这一门技术的，怎可以错过？” 自然，马莉莎是有她的理由的，她在柔道与“空手道”方面已经有了成就，“武道山”是日本闻名于国际的角力专家，许多技术性的动作，是值得观摩一番的。 “那该怎么办呢？”我问。 “你先回家，代替我搓牌，等我看完'武道山'后接你的手！”她想出了好办法。 “不行，今晚上我有应酬！锡兰方面的外销还是头一趟，这条路线不可错过！” “现在工厂里出品的塑胶花供不应求，你还怕销不出去吗？” “外销的情形不同，等于是工厂的信誉和面子上的问题，我们争取尚且还来不及呢！怎可以为搓牌而损失了开拓市场的机会？” “那么我就不管了，让你的妈妈搓不成牌！” 我有点着急，说：“马莉莎你不可以这样做，妈妈是头一次到台湾来做客，我们要叫她感到愉快……” “那么你就回家！” “你们不可以再找一个搭子代替你吗？” “我已经许久没有搓牌了，哪来的搭子呢？”她气呼呼地说。 “过去的一些老搭子呢？譬如说王大娘啦什么的？” “啊，王大娘吗？”马莉莎失笑起来。“王大娘自从那次被拧歪了鼻子，你想她还会和我们一起搓牌吗？” “除了王大娘以外，总该可以寻得着人的！”我说。 “我早已经说明在先了，小李小张的太太说，假如你我都不在场的话，她们不和你的妈妈搓牌，因为她喜欢咕嘀！” “怎样称为咕嘀呢？” “就是唠唠叨叨的，没完没了，人家打的牌都不对，只有她是对的！” “老人家总归是噜苏一点的！” “我不管！'武道山'的门票我都买好了，七点钟我就要出门！带着田一刀同去！”她坚决说。 在这种情形之下，岂不就形成了僵局了吗？我的心中不免暗暗焦急。 假如说，马莉莎真去看“武道山”，妈妈的牌局“三缺一”，无异将她“吊了起来”，那么她们婆媳之间，不免会起芥蒂，发展下去，情况就会难看了。 小张和小李的太太也很不够意思，她们为什么一定要缠着马莉莎呢？假如马莉莎不上场，她们就不和妈妈搓牌，这岂不是存心制造纠纷么？ 我忽的灵机一动，想起了胡公道老太太。 为了应酬锡兰来的客户，可以说是公事，晚饭过后，难免会上酒家的，当然胡公道老先生也会在场。假如将他的太太调配开，胡公道老先生就不必要“限时返家”了。 此计甚好，我立刻和胡公道老先生商量。 胡公道老先生说：“我不便和内子打电话，因为我早已声明过不返家吃晚饭的，免生误会，不如由你打电话，你是头一次邀她做牌搭子，我想她不会拒绝的！” 为了全面安排，我不得不硬着头皮打了电话。 胡老太太倒是非常高兴，不过她有条件，要搓牌的话，得到她的家里去搓。 天底下的事情都不会很顺利的，搓上几圈麻将就会噜哩噜苏麻烦一大堆。 我还得和马莉莎打一次电话，请她将妈妈和小李小张的太太送到胡公馆去。 我再三要求，说：“你看完'武道山'时间不会很晚，大可以弯到胡公馆去，将妈妈接返家！” 马莉莎嗤声说：“你还不知道妈妈的脾气吗？她不搓牌则已，一搓就要通宵才会过瘾的！我带着田一刀，去陪她们天亮见吗？” “假如直搓通宵，你就可以先行回家，总得要弯过去看看才是做媳妇之道！” 马莉莎虽然不高兴，但是她答应了我的要求。 我认为这种安排是绝妙到家了，小张小李是胡公道老先生的商行职员，那两位太太等于是陪伴丈夫的老板娘搓牌，她们就不会有再多的埋怨了。 只是胡老先生的交际应酬还是得“限时返家”，谁叫麻将架子是摆在他的家中呢？
是夜，我告酩酊大醉，锡兰来的朋友有奇特的好酒量，包括我和小张小李都招架不住。 离开酒家时，两脚如踏浮云，几乎就是连路也不认识了。 这一纸的合同得来不容易，简直好像是拿命拼一样的呢。 小李送我返家，他坐在计程车内睡着了，我一再提醒他说，要到胡公馆去接他的太太。 小李说：“你为什么不去接你妈妈呢？” 我说：“家有贤妻，一切有马莉莎为我照顾了……” 踏上那种楼梯可真辛苦，霎时间呕吐狼藉，吐得连魂魄也告出窍。 吃醉酒的人都能够自行返家，又会用门匙启门，自己解衣上床，这些都很不出奇。我好像已经有了丰富的经验了。 摇摇晃晃进入屋里后，先溜进了洗手间，呕了一个干净，用凉水漱口擦了把脸，这才稍微清醒了一些。 走进寝室，很意外地，马莉莎竟在床上蒙头大睡呢。 “你没到胡公馆去吗？”我将她唤醒而问。 “去过了，白跑一趟。”她懒洋洋地回答。 “怎么样？她们要搓通宵吗？” “可不是吗？有你的妈妈在场，没有不搓通宵之理！” 我苦笑说：“也好，妈妈由远道来到台湾，让她搓麻将搓个痛快也好！” “嗯，这样可就把小张和小李的太太累惨了，两位老太太搓牌的脾气都不大好，碰了牌或者是吃漏了，都会怪人的，可以赢不可以输，嘟嘟囔囔的叫人吃不消！” “唉，和老太太搓牌，总归要让一点的！”我说。 “让吗？昨晚上让了一夜，大家都'罩不住'了，等于是把钞票送出去，送了一夜差不多是小张小李家庭开支，半个月的小菜钱……” “你们为什么要搓那么'大'呢？” “一折的麻将，已经是'小'得不能再'小'了！可是你的妈妈嫌'小'，因为她是按照港币折算的！”马莉莎很激动地坐了起床，说：“昨晚上，大家都让她，小牌不敢和，有牌不敢碰，该吃的不敢吃，你的妈妈'一吃三'赢了两千多，她还说，只不过是三百多元港币，她在香港搓麻将都是输赢上千的……” “胡老太太的牌品如何，她也不大好吗？” “嗨，'小儿科'，也是只可以赢不可以输的，和了牌，哈哈笑，'放了炮'，嘀嘀咕咕没完没了！”她显得有点愤慨。 “唉，别和老人家一般见识！” “说的是！小张和小李的太太是和老板娘搓牌，她们都极力容忍，但是呢，家中若没有钱买小菜时，谁来同情？” “还是经济上的问题！” “你的妈妈什么时候回香港？”马莉莎提出了无情的问题。 “她吗？顶多玩个一个半个月，那是顶多了，同时，她在台北不会住得惯的！”我说。 “我在计算，在这段时间里该输给她多少钱。” 我失笑说：“你的算盘竟会打得如此的精吗？” “那还要给小张和小李的太太计算，打算给她们津贴，让她们敷衍到底，否则她们按照常规打牌，就不会'松章'了，到时候就伤感情啦！” “你能够这样的面面俱到，我很高兴！”我着实是衷心感激的。
爸爸自香港来了电报，他说：香港最近的情况非常不好。赤色暴徒在香港实行恐怖扰乱，到处放置土制炸弹伤人。市面也很不景气，马路上经常会戒严宵禁。因之，爸爸让妈妈在台北多住上一段时间，不要回香港去。 这岂不糟糕吗？马莉莎的计划又得改变了。 本来说，妈妈在台北顶多只玩上半个月或一个月的时间。 所以呢，马莉莎的妈有充裕的时间请亲家母老太太吃一顿饭。时间就订在这个星期六的晚上，仍然安排在妈的那间柔道学校里。 我满以为妈妈接受了这顿招待之后，就差不多要回香港去了，所以，让她看看柔道学校也好，在她老人家的心目中，满以为马莉莎的妈妈是办教育的，这时可以让她了解，那是办的什么样的教育了。 可是现在的情况又有改变啦，妈妈返港的时间了无定期。这顿饭所请的时间，又是不迟不早的了。 我心中盘算了一番，也好，可以让妈妈知道，马莉莎为什么嗜武，喜欢看“武道山”的原因。 我不敢想像，妈妈假如发现我娶了一位“柔道夫人”时会有什么样的想法？ 她今后会对马莉莎的印象如何？ “丑媳妇终需见家翁”，迟发现与早发现仅是时间上的问题而已。我操这份心思等于是多余的。 妈妈对任何人请吃饭没有多大的兴趣，最着重的还是余兴节目。有麻将搓时，她的兴趣就来了。 按照香港通常的习惯，不论婚丧喜庆，发出的请帖上是八时入席，三时开始。 三时开始什么呢？酒家里多的就是麻将桌子，各项的设备都齐全。不用到三点钟，客人抵步，每四位凑一桌，搓到筵席开始为止。 因之，吃饭和搓牌是有连贯的习惯的。有饭吃而没有牌搓，场面必不会热闹，客人也不会尽兴。 亲家母请吃饭，妈妈不能不到，事先她就已经打听好了有没有余兴节目。 在柔道学校里吃饭，余兴节目是一定有的，问题是在那一方面的就是了。 妈妈按照香港时间的习惯，三点钟不到，她就已经打扮好了。假如在这时间去赴约的话，很可能双方都会吓一跳。 柔道学校一定尚未下课，一些男女学子在草蓆上摔得唏哩呼噜的。妈妈一定会吓一大跳，瞧那些野蛮动作！特别是男女授受不亲，怎可以凑在一起打架呢？ 马莉莎的妈妈也会吓一惊的，请帖上明明是写着六时半入席，怎会三点钟客人就到了？ 为了避免双方不必要的难过，我得设计拖延时间。 我便向妈妈提醒说：“你由香港远道而来，亲家母请吃饭，你怎可以空手去呢？” 妈妈吃吃笑了，说：“我又不是傻子，怎会空手去的，我由香港来时就已经准备好了！” 她自行李箱中取出了一串养珠的项链，还有巧克力糖果、饼干一类的东西，刚好装满了一只塑胶的提袋，体面足够了。原来她早已经准备好了呢。 我又说：“马莉莎还有一个舅父，也在那间学校里，想必今晚上也会在席的！” “哦，我倒没有准备男人用的东西！”妈妈在这一方面是从不肯失仪的。 “何不到街上去选购？就当做由香港带来的。” “在台湾也买得着香港货吗？” “满街都是香港货，特别是一些寄卖行里，多数的'水客'将货物寄存出售！” “既然这样又何必由香港带东西到此呢？” “可是价钱却贵得多了！” “那就不划算了！” “你不送一点礼物给舅父可也不像样！”我仍然在打算拖延时间。 “就将巧克力糖送给他算了！” “巧克力糖是给小孩子吃的，舅父已经是四五十岁的人了！”我说。 “那么怎么办呢？还要上街去买吗？” “最好是不要失仪！” 妈妈总算听信了我的劝告，于是，我们先行逛街一番，为的是买两样像样的礼物送给马莉莎的舅父雷三封。 只要上了街事情就好办得多了，选购礼物也并非是简单的事情，要大方适用又要价廉物美。 特别是妈妈来自香港！香港是自由港口，各国进口的物品都是免税的，因此满街都是便宜货。和台北市的舶来品相比较，有时候价钱会相差一倍以上。 我给妈妈的建议，最好是买两条领带，一只打火机，那是男人最适用的东西。 性子急的人陪老太太上街买东西是很受罪的事情。 她们选购一件东西可能会走上三四间铺子的，价钱问详细，还要计算港币的币值，划算不划算…… 在马路上打了好几转，拖延了有两三个钟点，总算不错，买了两条领带、一只打火机，将它包装得十分洋派，算是由香港带过来的。 妈妈发表了她的议论，说：“台湾的土产也很便宜，那些人又何必向香港带货来卖呢？” 我说：“那是崇洋心理，很多的人，都以为洋货比国货好得多，用的时候，派头也不同！” 她说：“其实在香港有许多货品都是中国厂商造的，它和国货又有什么两样呢？” “就是崇洋心理嘛，我听说有过这样的笑话，有台湾客到香港去，买了许多的台湾外销货物回来了，尚且洋洋得意，以为买了廉价的洋货……” 妈妈说：“早知如此，我就不必由香港带许多东西到台湾了，搬上搬下多麻烦，行李过重还要加钱，真不划算！” 我们看准了时间，六时三十分抵达柔道学校。 那所学校原是木造的日式房屋，教室与屋子的大厅，遍铺上“榻榻米”，进门还要脱鞋子的。 自然，柔道学校的教室是不会有什么家具的，教学就在“榻榻米”上比手画脚就行了。 这时，一桌酒席早已摆开，十几张圆凳子围绕着。墙壁上挂的全是各类的达官贵人赠送的锦旗，花花绿绿的，和卖艺人的团址没有什么两样。 亲家马老太太已迎在门首，为客人预备拖鞋。 妈妈的大近视眼开始东张西望地，她看不出这地方有哪一点像学校的形状。 “这就是学校吗？”她问。 “是的，这就是学校！”我说。 “教室在什么地方？” “这就是教室！”<
The court came to the notice of the investigation court. I have never been involved in a lawsuit in my life. I don't know what is called the investigation court and what is called the debate court. Anyway, I just appear in court. The parents of several delinquent teenagers put pressure on them, and they "take turns to fight" as if they were haunted, some came to ask for help, and some made phone calls from time to time. What they mean is that if they get to the point of a lawsuit, "the lawsuit will end in the end", and in the end both parties will lose. It is better to settle as soon as possible, so as not to waste time and money. In fact, they were worried that their children would be prosecuted, and it would be much more troublesome then. Fortunately, our plastic flower factory has hired a long-term legal adviser. The lawyer is a good friend of Mr. Hu Gongdao, and he still has a lot of status in the judicial circle. When I went to ask him for advice.He said: "It doesn't matter, leave everything to me! Fighting is impossible. Ma Lisa is out of self-defense. At the same time, she is doing it for her daughter. Parents should love their children and have the right to maintain their safety. We have a barber shop." Tian Yidao was kidnapped or abducted! The current society hates delinquent teenagers for their misdeeds, and when a lawsuit starts, only they will suffer, so just rest assured!" So I handed over all the questions to lawyer Wu with full authority. Lawyer Wu is very powerful. He insists on asking the parents of those bad boys to compensate for their losses, otherwise he will never sign a settlement agreement. The statements of the police station are not good for those delinquent teenagers, and Ma Lisa has an injury report in the public hospital. At that time, there were three witnesses from the plastic flower factory, and one of them went to the police station to call the police.Both the proprietress and the hairdresser of the barber shop have voluntarily testified in court, reporting the disappearance of Tian Yidao at that time.I can't help but bow their heads to those rich and powerful parents of unscrupulous teenagers. But the prosecutor still has to open a court investigation, and the lawyers of both parties agreed to present the settlement certificate in court, praying for understanding. Both Ma Lisa and Tian Yidao and I are parties involved, and we must appear in court to appear for hearing. On this day, without telling our mother, we arrived at the court on time with lawyer Wu.I really don't know each other.Those unscrupulous teenagers who were beaten up are all here, and it's really pitiful to see them.All of them were bruised and bruised, some had their heads covered with gauze, some had bandages hanging on their arms covered with plaster, some had broken legs and supported crutches...all of them looked in a state of distress. The parents of those delinquent boys were also very pitiful, including their aunts and aunts, who were all present, as if they were participating in some grand event.I believe that's the case. I have spoiled my children on weekdays, and now I can't blame others. After the trial, the prosecutor was a little bit unconvinced. Ma Lisa was small, with delicate features, and a mother of two children. How could she deal with more than twenty delinquent teenagers by herself? Lawyer Wu said: "Tian Ma Lisa has the qualifications of the fourth degree of judo and the third degree of karate. She is very reserved in not breaking up the bones of these villains!" The prosecutor still refused to believe it. He thought it must be a group fight, otherwise the delinquent teenagers would not have been beaten all over. Lawyer Wu said: "Tian Ma Lisa can split a two-inch thick board with one palm. If you don't believe it, you can try it on the spot. As long as the court does not think it is impolite, you can prove it!" Ma Lisa hurriedly said: "My right hand has been injured, if I want to perform, I have to use my left hand!" "Is your left hand working too?" Attorney Wu asked. "The left hand was hurt too, but nothing serious!" she replied. The prosecutor also became curious. He neither admitted nor objected.Attorney Wu had been prepared for a long time, and took out a polished wooden board from his briefcase, and put it on the corner of the fence for the court hearing. He motioned to Marisa. Ma Lisa was stunned. She approached the plank, breathed a sigh of relief, and took a ready posture. With a shout, he raised his hand and dropped his palm, and with a sound of "Slap!", the board snapped in half. The delinquent boys present looked at each other in blank dismay. If they had known that Ma Lisa had this kind of kung fu, they wouldn't have made such a fuss. The prosecutor kept his serious face, smiled half a smile, nodded and said: "Good fight, good fight!" There were as many as three lawyers hired by the parents of those delinquent teenagers, and at this time they began to submit settlement documents. Reconciliation is another matter. If the prosecutor thinks that the delinquent juveniles have committed serious crimes and need no consideration, they can still prosecute them. The power rests with the prosecutors, but generally speaking, benevolence can be given outside the law, and the law of the country is based on the laws of nature, and in the end, it is still about human feelings.Let alone these underage children? Prosecutors asked Ma Lisa first, saying: "Are you willing to settle with them?" Marisa said, "I've already taught them a lesson, so it doesn't matter!" The prosecutor called the children to the court one by one, lined up, and reprimanded them one by one. "Your family is very good. Why don't you study well during your studies? This time, I'm giving you a chance to reform your mistakes for the sake of your parents. Next time, you will definitely be sent to the criminal court for heavy punishment!" The prosecutor's final ruling was to order the parents to take it back. Even if this lawsuit is down.We don't know what gimmick Mr. Wu played. The parents of delinquent boys were compensated. As far as Ma Lisa was concerned, she got a set of expensive clothes, half a dozen glass socks, leather shoes and bags, etc. Tian Yidao also has compensation for new clothes and candies. Lawyer Wu did not charge us legal fees. He said: "The legal fees shall be borne by the other party!" My mother has lived in Hong Kong for many years. That small place has a population of more than four million, and it is crowded everywhere. This is the first time she came to Taiwan, the environment is completely different, there are many places for her to visit. It just so happens that the factory is very busy these days, and the export orders have to be delivered on schedule.If there is no one to supervise the work, it will definitely be delayed. Marisa will leave it to Ma Lisa to accompany her mother to travel around the mountains and rivers. At home, Mrs. Chen can take care of Tian Erdao, and Ma Lisa only needs to take Tian Yidao with her to rest assured.Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives are also very helpful, and they come to help and keep company when they have nothing to do. They have visited all the places of interest in the suburbs of Taipei City, such as Bitan, Wulai, Yehliu, Xiangong Temple, Shimen Reservoir... It was Tian Yidao who had the most fun. His mother was nearsighted, and she was the same everywhere she went. She only saw green mountains, green waters, seas and sky. Xiao Zhang's wife is the most particular about food. She has a good intention to let her mother eat different flavors every meal. Living in Hong Kong, I eat all Cantonese flavors, but restaurants in Taiwan cover everything.Cantonese cuisine, Fujian cuisine, Yunnan cuisine, Hunan cuisine, Shanxi restaurant, Shandong restaurant, northern restaurant, Mongolian barbecue... There are all kinds of dishes. But they were all in vain. My mother couldn't eat anything but Cantonese food. The spicy food was too spicy, the salty food was too salty, and the oily food was too greasy, let alone Mongolian barbecue.The scallions and garlic are simply not flavorful. She is not interested in traveling in mountains and rivers, so Xiao Li's wife came up with another "trick"!Tourism in Taipei City is booming.Various nightclubs, large and small karaoke halls. Sightseeing in nightclubs and karaoke halls is much easier, and there is no need to run outside. The problem is that my mother can only hear but not see. It is the same for Zhang San Li Si who sings.She can't understand English songs, and she can't understand Mandarin songs, isn't it still boring! I don't know which nightclub has a poster of Pingju opera on the front door, and Guan Yunchang's costume is also printed on it.The face is like a jujube, the red phoenix eyes lie on the eyebrows of silkworms, the five willows have beautiful beards, and the Qinglong Yanyue sword is in his hand! The drama is really good, the ancient city meeting, the capture and release of Cao Huarong, all are stories of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Mom didn't see anything, she saw Guan Yunchang, and said, "Oh, is there a big show in Taipei?" "That's Pingju!" Ma Lisa replied. "In Hong Kong, I either play mahjong or listen to big plays!" she said. "do you understand?" "I can recite almost all the big plays, so why not understand?" In fact, Ma Lisa doesn't understand herself, she doesn't know anything about Pingju.So when my mother wanted to watch a big show, she frowned. At this time, it happened that a world-renowned wrestling champion came to Japan, so-called "Budaoshan".He also brought his own opponent to perform in a sports field. This kind of performance is the right way for Ma Lisa, and she has long wanted to appreciate it.Because the performance time is only three days in total, it is rare to miss the opportunity. "Can't you see it?" She lobbied again. "Just listen to it!" Mom said. Ma Lisa had no choice but to buy tickets in advance and invited Xiao Zhang and Li's wife as companions. Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives also know little about Ping opera, and at the same time they also have a prejudice, thinking that Guan Gong drama is for men, and they usually listen to Er Jingong, Su Sanqi Jie, what is the iron bow, Guan Gong Never heard of the play. After dinner, I went to the theater, and as soon as the gongs and drums beat in the civil and martial arts field, my mother felt that something was wrong. That night, a high official happened to be present to listen to the play, and there was a special performance of "Dancing with Officials" on the stage. My mother's short-sighted eyes only saw a white-faced man jumping around on the stage. She said, "Why did Cao Cao come out so soon?" "That's not Cao Cao, it's a promotion!" Xiao Li's wife said. "What is called jumping official?" "That's a good sign, and it's also a sign of welcome and respect!" "Who is welcome?" "Of course you are welcome to be an official! Could it be that there are no Cantonese dramas who have joined the official?" Xiao Li's wife asked back. "I did not see it!" The opening gong opera is the ancient city meeting, Guan Yunchang sends his wife off, and the gongs and drums are clanging and clanging, which is similar to the Cantonese opera. Ma Tong came out first and turned somersaults, jumping around, just like Sun Monkey going down Huaguo Mountain. Guan Yu appeared on the stage, and his mother's nearsightedness could still be seen, with a big red face, a tiger red robe, and a Qinglong Yanyue sword in his hand, so majestic.After playing with the stable boy for a while, he began to sing. "What is it singing?" Mom asked again. "Gucheng Hui Guandi! Xun Yu." Xiao Li's wife is like her personal Pingju consultant. "Why sing 'Waijiang Dialect'?" Mom's question is a bit special. "Singing in Pingju!" "Aren't we watching Chinese dramas?" "National dramas are flat dramas!" It turned out that the poster my mother saw said it was a Chinese drama! "Cantonese music is called national music! Isn't Chinese drama the same as Cantonese drama?" she said. "No! Chinese music is Chinese music, and Chinese drama is Chinese drama!" "Hey, how can you separate Chinese music from big drama?" Xiao Li's wife was dumbfounded when asked, this kind of question is really difficult to answer. She used an excuse to go to the toilet and changed seats with Xiao Zhang's wife, in order to avoid wasting a lot of talking. It's better for Ma Lisa, she doesn't know anything anyway, so it's useless to ask her. "I don't understand a word!" Mom said. "I don't understand either!" Marisa said. "You are a 'Waijiang native', how can you not understand 'Waijiang Opera'?" Mom asked. "I've never heard of it since I was a child!" "Why do two people run out and take a piece of cloth?" Mom found that there were two more people on the stage. "That's not cloth! It's the city gate!" Xiao Zhang's wife replied. "Oh, are the sets so simple? Our Cantonese dramas are all three-dimensional sets now!" Mom said. "Pingju is originally a symbolic art. You can see that the stick in Guan Gong's hand represents the red rabbit horse!" Xiao Zhang's wife explained. Ma Lisa laughed and said, "I've been looking at it for a long time, but I can't figure it out. Why is Guan Gong dangling with a feather broom? It turns out that it represents the red rabbit horse..." The four of them were chattering endlessly, but the fans in the back seat got anxious and immediately booed everywhere. "You are so whimsical, Guan Gong took a feather broom..." Xiao Zhang's wife laughed endlessly. The boos from the backseat were louder, finally stopping them. After the "Ancient City Meeting" is over, the next step is "Catch and Release Cao".That's singing, it all depends on listening. "Is that bearded man on the stage Liu Bei?" Mom asked again. "No! That's Chen Gong!" Xiao Zhang's wife replied. "After Guan Gong trained his brother in the ancient city, how could it be Chen Gong who appeared?" "Now it's the second time, capture and release Cao!" "How did you jump from the ancient city to catch and release Cao? The story is all upside down, there is really no 'texture'!" Ma Lisa couldn't understand more than her mother, but she was too embarrassed to ask more questions because the audience behind her repeatedly booed them. She endured it for a while, and finally couldn't bear it anymore, and asked again: "Chen Gong holds a red candle in his hand, does that mean it's night?" "Of course it's night!" Xiao Zhang's wife wanted to answer various questions from their two mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, one on the left and the other on the right. "What's the use of taking a red candle and not lighting it?" "That's symbolic, it means a fire has been lit!" "Why save such a little effort? It's too troublesome to set up the scenery, so I propped up a piece of cloth instead of the city gate, and lighting a candle only needs to strike a match!" Xiao Zhang's wife can't answer this question, she has been asked stupidly. After a while, Cao Cao fell asleep, propped his head on his hands, and sat beside the wooden table. "Why doesn't he go to bed?" Marisa asked again. "Cao Cao is a generation of traitors, he sleeps sitting up!" Xiao Zhang's wife pretended to be clever and gave a crooked answer. "The opera singers are so good, they even know how the ancients slept!" Ma Lisa said. "Anyway, it's singing!" "What is Chen Gong doing?" "He is scolding Cao Cao for being unkind..." "No! He's singing non-stop beside Cao Cao!" "He intends to abandon Cao Cao and leave!" "What if he wakes up Cao Cao? Why don't you kill him?" Xiao Zhang's wife was tongue-tied, and coughing represented her answer.So she had no choice but to go to the toilet, and changed seats with Ma Lisa so that the two mother-in-law and daughter-in-law could sit together, so many questions could be studied and judged by themselves. "Chinese dramas are really bad. They sing ramblings one by one. Our Cantonese dramas are sung from the beginning to the end!" Mom said. Ma Lisa said: "I said earlier that it would be great to see 'Budao Mountain'!" "What's 'Budao Mountain'?" Mom thought it was the title of a play. "A wrestling champion came from Japan and performed in the gymnasium. It is said that he has wrestled all the invincible wrestlers in the world. With one palm, he can split ten tiles, three bricks..." Ma Lisa was straightforward in this regard. "Want to see a fight?" "Well, it depends on kung fu!" "What's so interesting about fighting!" "Well, the tickets for a show in Japan cost tens of dollars. Now they come to Taipei to perform, and the most expensive ticket is only NT$100. Besides, there are other shows like juggling. Brought by him!" "Who is he fighting with?" They didn't watch the play, and started chatting in their seats. "It is said that he is an expert in wrestling in Australia. He was hired by 'Budo Mountain' to be his opponent. Every night he fights to the point of bleeding!" "How terrible that is!" "However, as far as I know, the bleeding is fake, and you can see their wrestling skills by paying for tickets!" Ma Lisa said: "The performance is only three days in total, and today is the second day. Look, there will be no more chances!" She also showed an extremely longing look. "Why are you interested in this?" Mom said: "What about boxing, martial arts, wrestling, and ball games? It should be a show for men to watch!" Ma Lisa blinked her eyes, and she was embarrassed to explain that she herself was a judo practitioner, and she once had a very prominent fight, which was even reported in the newspapers. The sound of gongs and drums on the stage is the beginning of the finale "Huarong Road". "It's a good show!" Xiao Zhang's wife said to the two of them. "What kind of show?" Mom asked. "Hua Rong is blocking Cao!" "There is really no 'texture'. After arresting and releasing Cao, it was Hua Rong who blocked Cao. Where did it go? Could it be that there are no screenwriter talents in Taipei?" Mom said in a suspicious tone. "Ping scripts are originally published one by one..." "Oh, I don't understand, let's go!" Mom suggested. "Let's go?" Xiao Zhang's wife made a fuss and said, "This is the grand finale, look! Many people just came in, and they came to watch the grand finale!" "What's so interesting about rambling on and on?" Mom said. It was Xiao Li's wife who was smarter and said: "Yes, it's meaningless if you don't understand it, so let's go!" Marisa was exactly what she wished for, and she was the first to stand up. So, the four of them walked out of the theater, and they finally watched Pingju. "Where are we going?" Xiao Li's wife asked, fearing that she might not be attentive enough. "What time is it?" Mom asked. "At half past nine, it's too early to go home, and if you don't go home, you have nowhere to go!" Xiao Li's wife said. "After half past nine, there's no place to go except going to nightclubs!" Xiao Zhang's wife said. "I've been to almost all the first-class nightclubs, and the other small nightclubs are all places where some little Ah Fei went!" "It's no fun going to nightclubs all the time!" Mom said. "Let's go boating in Bitan. Wouldn't it be nice to take a ride in the cool wind?" Xiao Li's wife had another suggestion. "Boating is also good, and the freshwater prawns in Bitan are delicious!" Ma Lisa echoed. "Oh, in the middle of the night, why row a boat? I want to eat shrimp, where is there no place to eat?" Mom objected. "Maybe the old lady is tired and wants to go home to rest!" Xiao Zhang's wife expressed her reaction. "One, two, three, four!" Mom was counting the number of people, and it happened to be four people. "It happens to be four people!" The three wives were all in a daze, not knowing what mother was thinking. "I haven't rubbed cards since I came to Taiwan!" Mom finally expressed her heart. It turns out that the old lady has been thinking about "The Play of Fangcheng", no wonder she is listless wherever she goes. "So the old lady wants to play mahjong!" Xiao Li's wife laughed. "It's still early, you can rub twenty to twenty-four times!" Mom said, "Do you often rub cards too?" Ever since Ma Lisa tore Aunt Wang's nose crookedly when she rubbed the cards, it was tantamount to saying that she was "abstinence card".In fact, I was too embarrassed to rub my cards. But mother wants to rub the cards, how can she not accompany her? "I heard that you all play 'Lao Zhang' mahjong in Hong Kong!" Xiao Zhang's wife said. "Who said that? I've written all the 'new chapters and old chapters'. I'm afraid Hong Kong has more famous halls than you, such as 'full garden flowers', 'clear dragon mixed dragon', 'generally high', 'every high' , 'Big Seven vs. Little Seven'... Whatever you say, I understand everything!" Mom appeared in an old-fashioned manner, "like a few treasures", and she took the lead. Ma Lisa was stunned, and said: "What is a big seven pair? A small seven pair?" She wanted to ask for advice. "Seven pairs of cards! With six and a half pairs in hand, wouldn't it be a tie if you hang one card alone? That's calculated as 'all hands'!" "How do you call it size?" "There are four of them as two pairs, isn't it big? Or there are two 'Ankan' among them, and if they are three pairs, it is also counted as a big seven! Sigh, our 'New Chapter' is newer than yours Much more!" Mom began to cheer. "We also have something called 'Gone with the Wind', do you understand?" Ma Lisha and Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li's wives were all passed the test, and their "duan" was lowered by one level as they looked at each other in blank dismay. "What is 'Gone with the Wind'?" Xiao Li's wife asked. "'Gone with the Wind' means 1,237,890,000, 1,230, 789, and a pair of mahjong. Even if it is Piao, its price is the same as that of 'Shuanglong Baozhu'!" Mom said . "Then six, seven, eight, six, seven, eight, one, two, thirty, one, two, three, do they count?" Ma Lisa's interest also came. "No! It must be counted from head to tail!" Mom said. "Actually playing 'Xin Zhang' mahjong and caring about 'legislation', if you say it exists, it does, and if you don't say it will work!" "Of course, everyone advocates that sometimes, the opportunities are equal!" In this regard, my mother was very enthusiastic when talking about it. "Do you have 'three numbers' and 'two numbers'?" "How do you call it 'three numbers' and 'two numbers'?" "Metaphorically speaking, all the cards are down to three numbers or two numbers?" "That's like 'a garden full of flowers'!" "No! Sometimes 'Blossoms in the Garden' are even taken away!" "How do you calculate two numbers?" Xiao Zhang's wife asked. “比喻说，碰八万，碰八筒，碰八条，碰三筒，二万做麻将，所有的牌，不就是只有两个数目吗？”妈妈解释说。 “那是'将将碰'嘛！”马莉莎说。 “当然，那是'将将碰'！但是要外加'二数'！比如说，你碰三万，碰三筒，碰三条，碰六筒，六条做麻将，不就是只有'二数'了吗？它就没有将将碰了！” “'三相碰'算不算呢？” “在这种情形之下，当外加'三相碰'！可是有时你碰了三万碰了三筒，又碰六万，又碰六条，六筒做麻将，你就光只有'对对和'及'二数'了！” “断么也要算的！”小李的太太说。 “对，对，你们的资格也很老到，一点即通！”妈妈“倚老卖老”。 “既然如此，我们'开始'就要趁早！”小张的太太兴趣也来了。 于是，她们匆忙雇了计程车疾驰返家“开台”。 麻将桌子摆开，才算是“对了路，对了劲”！她们终于发现了妈妈最喜欢的节目。 当初又何必那样的辛苦，东奔西走，长途跋涉，费煞了心机，老太太对游山玩水毫不感兴趣。什么夜总会、歌台舞榭，都索然无味，花了钱还费神费事，惹来了唠叨一大堆。 麻将桌子摆开，四个人往上一坐，“劈劈拍拍”地什么问题都解决了。 此一“战役”自是通宵达旦的不在话下了。直至晨间，我起床用早餐，她们仍在断断缺缺平和一般高。 陈嫂是笃信的基督徒，她告诉我说：“赌博是犯罪的！” 我说：“她们婆媳几个人自行娱乐就不算赌博了！” “上帝会不高兴的！” “上帝的事情你怎会知道的呢？” “会感觉到的，是应该到了该忏悔的时候了！”这是她的理论。 我懒得和她争论，早餐之后，就赶赴工厂去了。 这一天，锡兰来了一位客户，我们出品的塑胶花又增加了一条外销的路线。 签合约之外还请这位朋友去吃饭，有了应酬自然就不会回家了。 我将要离开工厂时，马莉莎来了电话。 她说：“我今晚上想去看'武道山'！这是最后的一晚，再不看的话就没有机会了！” 我说：“很好，你带着妈妈一起去看就是了！” “不！妈妈搓牌搓出了瘾，今晚上还要搓！” “哦，既然这样，让她搓牌就是了！” “问题就是搓牌少了一个人，我去看'武道山'她们就三缺一！” “小张和小李的太太不可以多找一个搭子吗？” “她们说，是陪我的婆婆搓牌，假如我不搓的话，她们也不搓！” “既然这样，你就别去看'武道山'算了！角力有什么好看呢？” “不！这是千载难逢的机会，我是研究这一门技术的，怎可以错过？” 自然，马莉莎是有她的理由的，她在柔道与“空手道”方面已经有了成就，“武道山”是日本闻名于国际的角力专家，许多技术性的动作，是值得观摩一番的。 “那该怎么办呢？”我问。 “你先回家，代替我搓牌，等我看完'武道山'后接你的手！”她想出了好办法。 “不行，今晚上我有应酬！锡兰方面的外销还是头一趟，这条路线不可错过！” “现在工厂里出品的塑胶花供不应求，你还怕销不出去吗？” “外销的情形不同，等于是工厂的信誉和面子上的问题，我们争取尚且还来不及呢！怎可以为搓牌而损失了开拓市场的机会？” “那么我就不管了，让你的妈妈搓不成牌！” 我有点着急，说：“马莉莎你不可以这样做，妈妈是头一次到台湾来做客，我们要叫她感到愉快……” “那么你就回家！” “你们不可以再找一个搭子代替你吗？” “我已经许久没有搓牌了，哪来的搭子呢？”她气呼呼地说。 “过去的一些老搭子呢？譬如说王大娘啦什么的？” “啊，王大娘吗？”马莉莎失笑起来。“王大娘自从那次被拧歪了鼻子，你想她还会和我们一起搓牌吗？” “除了王大娘以外，总该可以寻得着人的！”我说。 “我早已经说明在先了，小李小张的太太说，假如你我都不在场的话，她们不和你的妈妈搓牌，因为她喜欢咕嘀！” “怎样称为咕嘀呢？” “就是唠唠叨叨的，没完没了，人家打的牌都不对，只有她是对的！” “老人家总归是噜苏一点的！” “我不管！'武道山'的门票我都买好了，七点钟我就要出门！带着田一刀同去！”她坚决说。 在这种情形之下，岂不就形成了僵局了吗？我的心中不免暗暗焦急。 假如说，马莉莎真去看“武道山”，妈妈的牌局“三缺一”，无异将她“吊了起来”，那么她们婆媳之间，不免会起芥蒂，发展下去，情况就会难看了。 小张和小李的太太也很不够意思，她们为什么一定要缠着马莉莎呢？假如马莉莎不上场，她们就不和妈妈搓牌，这岂不是存心制造纠纷么？ 我忽的灵机一动，想起了胡公道老太太。 为了应酬锡兰来的客户，可以说是公事，晚饭过后，难免会上酒家的，当然胡公道老先生也会在场。假如将他的太太调配开，胡公道老先生就不必要“限时返家”了。 此计甚好，我立刻和胡公道老先生商量。 胡公道老先生说：“我不便和内子打电话，因为我早已声明过不返家吃晚饭的，免生误会，不如由你打电话，你是头一次邀她做牌搭子，我想她不会拒绝的！” 为了全面安排，我不得不硬着头皮打了电话。 胡老太太倒是非常高兴，不过她有条件，要搓牌的话，得到她的家里去搓。 天底下的事情都不会很顺利的，搓上几圈麻将就会噜哩噜苏麻烦一大堆。 我还得和马莉莎打一次电话，请她将妈妈和小李小张的太太送到胡公馆去。 我再三要求，说：“你看完'武道山'时间不会很晚，大可以弯到胡公馆去，将妈妈接返家！” 马莉莎嗤声说：“你还不知道妈妈的脾气吗？她不搓牌则已，一搓就要通宵才会过瘾的！我带着田一刀，去陪她们天亮见吗？” “假如直搓通宵，你就可以先行回家，总得要弯过去看看才是做媳妇之道！” 马莉莎虽然不高兴，但是她答应了我的要求。 我认为这种安排是绝妙到家了，小张小李是胡公道老先生的商行职员，那两位太太等于是陪伴丈夫的老板娘搓牌，她们就不会有再多的埋怨了。 只是胡老先生的交际应酬还是得“限时返家”，谁叫麻将架子是摆在他的家中呢？
是夜，我告酩酊大醉，锡兰来的朋友有奇特的好酒量，包括我和小张小李都招架不住。 离开酒家时，两脚如踏浮云，几乎就是连路也不认识了。 这一纸的合同得来不容易，简直好像是拿命拼一样的呢。 小李送我返家，他坐在计程车内睡着了，我一再提醒他说，要到胡公馆去接他的太太。 小李说：“你为什么不去接你妈妈呢？” 我说：“家有贤妻，一切有马莉莎为我照顾了……” 踏上那种楼梯可真辛苦，霎时间呕吐狼藉，吐得连魂魄也告出窍。 吃醉酒的人都能够自行返家，又会用门匙启门，自己解衣上床，这些都很不出奇。我好像已经有了丰富的经验了。 摇摇晃晃进入屋里后，先溜进了洗手间，呕了一个干净，用凉水漱口擦了把脸，这才稍微清醒了一些。 走进寝室，很意外地，马莉莎竟在床上蒙头大睡呢。 “你没到胡公馆去吗？”我将她唤醒而问。 “去过了，白跑一趟。”她懒洋洋地回答。 “怎么样？她们要搓通宵吗？” “可不是吗？有你的妈妈在场，没有不搓通宵之理！” 我苦笑说：“也好，妈妈由远道来到台湾，让她搓麻将搓个痛快也好！” “嗯，这样可就把小张和小李的太太累惨了，两位老太太搓牌的脾气都不大好，碰了牌或者是吃漏了，都会怪人的，可以赢不可以输，嘟嘟囔囔的叫人吃不消！” “唉，和老太太搓牌，总归要让一点的！”我说。 “让吗？昨晚上让了一夜，大家都'罩不住'了，等于是把钞票送出去，送了一夜差不多是小张小李家庭开支，半个月的小菜钱……” “你们为什么要搓那么'大'呢？” “一折的麻将，已经是'小'得不能再'小'了！可是你的妈妈嫌'小'，因为她是按照港币折算的！”马莉莎很激动地坐了起床，说：“昨晚上，大家都让她，小牌不敢和，有牌不敢碰，该吃的不敢吃，你的妈妈'一吃三'赢了两千多，她还说，只不过是三百多元港币，她在香港搓麻将都是输赢上千的……” “胡老太太的牌品如何，她也不大好吗？” “嗨，'小儿科'，也是只可以赢不可以输的，和了牌，哈哈笑，'放了炮'，嘀嘀咕咕没完没了！”她显得有点愤慨。 “唉，别和老人家一般见识！” “说的是！小张和小李的太太是和老板娘搓牌，她们都极力容忍，但是呢，家中若没有钱买小菜时，谁来同情？” “还是经济上的问题！” “你的妈妈什么时候回香港？”马莉莎提出了无情的问题。 “她吗？顶多玩个一个半个月，那是顶多了，同时，她在台北不会住得惯的！”我说。 “我在计算，在这段时间里该输给她多少钱。” 我失笑说：“你的算盘竟会打得如此的精吗？” “那还要给小张和小李的太太计算，打算给她们津贴，让她们敷衍到底，否则她们按照常规打牌，就不会'松章'了，到时候就伤感情啦！” “你能够这样的面面俱到，我很高兴！”我着实是衷心感激的。
爸爸自香港来了电报，他说：香港最近的情况非常不好。赤色暴徒在香港实行恐怖扰乱，到处放置土制炸弹伤人。市面也很不景气，马路上经常会戒严宵禁。因之，爸爸让妈妈在台北多住上一段时间，不要回香港去。 这岂不糟糕吗？马莉莎的计划又得改变了。 本来说，妈妈在台北顶多只玩上半个月或一个月的时间。 所以呢，马莉莎的妈有充裕的时间请亲家母老太太吃一顿饭。时间就订在这个星期六的晚上，仍然安排在妈的那间柔道学校里。 我满以为妈妈接受了这顿招待之后，就差不多要回香港去了，所以，让她看看柔道学校也好，在她老人家的心目中，满以为马莉莎的妈妈是办教育的，这时可以让她了解，那是办的什么样的教育了。 可是现在的情况又有改变啦，妈妈返港的时间了无定期。这顿饭所请的时间，又是不迟不早的了。 我心中盘算了一番，也好，可以让妈妈知道，马莉莎为什么嗜武，喜欢看“武道山”的原因。 我不敢想像，妈妈假如发现我娶了一位“柔道夫人”时会有什么样的想法？ 她今后会对马莉莎的印象如何？ “丑媳妇终需见家翁”，迟发现与早发现仅是时间上的问题而已。我操这份心思等于是多余的。 妈妈对任何人请吃饭没有多大的兴趣，最着重的还是余兴节目。有麻将搓时，她的兴趣就来了。 按照香港通常的习惯，不论婚丧喜庆，发出的请帖上是八时入席，三时开始。 三时开始什么呢？酒家里多的就是麻将桌子，各项的设备都齐全。不用到三点钟，客人抵步，每四位凑一桌，搓到筵席开始为止。 因之，吃饭和搓牌是有连贯的习惯的。有饭吃而没有牌搓，场面必不会热闹，客人也不会尽兴。 亲家母请吃饭，妈妈不能不到，事先她就已经打听好了有没有余兴节目。 在柔道学校里吃饭，余兴节目是一定有的，问题是在那一方面的就是了。 妈妈按照香港时间的习惯，三点钟不到，她就已经打扮好了。假如在这时间去赴约的话，很可能双方都会吓一跳。 柔道学校一定尚未下课，一些男女学子在草蓆上摔得唏哩呼噜的。妈妈一定会吓一大跳，瞧那些野蛮动作！特别是男女授受不亲，怎可以凑在一起打架呢？ 马莉莎的妈妈也会吓一惊的，请帖上明明是写着六时半入席，怎会三点钟客人就到了？ 为了避免双方不必要的难过，我得设计拖延时间。 我便向妈妈提醒说：“你由香港远道而来，亲家母请吃饭，你怎可以空手去呢？” 妈妈吃吃笑了，说：“我又不是傻子，怎会空手去的，我由香港来时就已经准备好了！” 她自行李箱中取出了一串养珠的项链，还有巧克力糖果、饼干一类的东西，刚好装满了一只塑胶的提袋，体面足够了。原来她早已经准备好了呢。 我又说：“马莉莎还有一个舅父，也在那间学校里，想必今晚上也会在席的！” “哦，我倒没有准备男人用的东西！”妈妈在这一方面是从不肯失仪的。 “何不到街上去选购？就当做由香港带来的。” “在台湾也买得着香港货吗？” “满街都是香港货，特别是一些寄卖行里，多数的'水客'将货物寄存出售！” “既然这样又何必由香港带东西到此呢？” “可是价钱却贵得多了！” “那就不划算了！” “你不送一点礼物给舅父可也不像样！”我仍然在打算拖延时间。 “就将巧克力糖送给他算了！” “巧克力糖是给小孩子吃的，舅父已经是四五十岁的人了！”我说。 “那么怎么办呢？还要上街去买吗？” “最好是不要失仪！” 妈妈总算听信了我的劝告，于是，我们先行逛街一番，为的是买两样像样的礼物送给马莉莎的舅父雷三封。 只要上了街事情就好办得多了，选购礼物也并非是简单的事情，要大方适用又要价廉物美。 特别是妈妈来自香港！香港是自由港口，各国进口的物品都是免税的，因此满街都是便宜货。和台北市的舶来品相比较，有时候价钱会相差一倍以上。 我给妈妈的建议，最好是买两条领带，一只打火机，那是男人最适用的东西。 性子急的人陪老太太上街买东西是很受罪的事情。 她们选购一件东西可能会走上三四间铺子的，价钱问详细，还要计算港币的币值，划算不划算…… 在马路上打了好几转，拖延了有两三个钟点，总算不错，买了两条领带、一只打火机，将它包装得十分洋派，算是由香港带过来的。 妈妈发表了她的议论，说：“台湾的土产也很便宜，那些人又何必向香港带货来卖呢？” 我说：“那是崇洋心理，很多的人，都以为洋货比国货好得多，用的时候，派头也不同！” 她说：“其实在香港有许多货品都是中国厂商造的，它和国货又有什么两样呢？” “就是崇洋心理嘛，我听说有过这样的笑话，有台湾客到香港去，买了许多的台湾外销货物回来了，尚且洋洋得意，以为买了廉价的洋货……” 妈妈说：“早知如此，我就不必由香港带许多东西到台湾了，搬上搬下多麻烦，行李过重还要加钱，真不划算！” 我们看准了时间，六时三十分抵达柔道学校。 那所学校原是木造的日式房屋，教室与屋子的大厅，遍铺上“榻榻米”，进门还要脱鞋子的。 自然，柔道学校的教室是不会有什么家具的，教学就在“榻榻米”上比手画脚就行了。 这时，一桌酒席早已摆开，十几张圆凳子围绕着。墙壁上挂的全是各类的达官贵人赠送的锦旗，花花绿绿的，和卖艺人的团址没有什么两样。 亲家马老太太已迎在门首，为客人预备拖鞋。 妈妈的大近视眼开始东张西望地，她看不出这地方有哪一点像学校的形状。 “这就是学校吗？”她问。 “是的，这就是学校！”我说。 “教室在什么地方？” “这就是教室！”<