Chapter 2 Chapter 1 Murphy

The cockroach slowly crawled towards Leon's mouth.In a few centimeters, its long tentacles will touch Leon's open lips.It was now stepping on the edge of a puddle of drool on the sheet where Leon had fallen asleep. Leon wanted to shut his mouth, but his muscles were stiff and he couldn't move. here we go again! He couldn't stand up, lift his arms, or even blink.He had no choice but to watch the cockroach spread its wings, as if it was greeting him in a friendly way: "Hello, Leon, here I come again. Don't you recognize me?" "Of course I remember you, I can recognize you even when you turn into ashes!"

They named the giant cockroach from the French island of Reunion "Murphy". Leon didn't know that this disgusting thing could really fly.Since he and Natalie checked the relevant data on the Internet, the two have been arguing about it, and finally they came to the following conclusion: Those big cockroaches from the French Reunion Island do have the ability to fly, and one of them Apparently accidentally followed Natalie here from the resort nine months ago.The monster sneaked into the suitcase at some point. When they got home and opened the suitcase, they found Murphy sitting on the dirty laundry cleaning its long tentacles, but before Natalie could scream, the cockroach flew away. gone.It should be trying to find a corner in this old building where it will not be found to hide.

They searched every nook and cranny of the house, five rooms in all, without missing a single one: under the wainscoting, behind the washing machine in the bathroom, and Leon's architectural model in the studio.They even searched the darkroom.It was the darkroom where Natalie developed the photos, and the door of the darkroom was usually locked and sealed with layers of opaque material to prevent light from entering.All wasted effort!The big bug with the hairy spider legs and the oily body of a blowfly hasn't been seen since. They just moved here a few months ago.The first night she found the giant cockroach, Natalie seriously considered moving out of the house.In the end, of course, nothing happened.

Start a new life here. Later, they made love and calmed down laughing.Murphy should have flown out of the window to the park to see his kind (the smaller and naked ones in the city). However, now it's here again. Murphy was so close, Leon could almost smell it.Of course this is bullshit.However, the constant strong sense of nausea caused Leon's consciousness to fall into an almost frenzied state; he even thought that he saw the countless dust mites it had infiltrated from under the bed on its furry feet.Before the long whiskers of the cockroach could touch his chapped lips, which were parted in terror, he felt his skin itching.He even imagined what it would be like if the cockroach actually crawled into his mouth.It should taste salty, and it will rub against the lining of your mouth, as if popcorn is stuck to the palate.

Murphy should be pushing slowly but firmly down his throat, beating his teeth with its wings. Then I can't even take a bite. Leon snorted, wanting to scream with all his strength. Sometimes, this trick can get Leon out of sleep paralysis.But most of the time, that alone is not enough. Of course he knew the cockroach was not real.It's New Year's Eve in a few days, and it's early morning hours, and the bedroom is dark.With his current physical condition, he couldn't even raise his hand to his eyes, but knowing this made the fear even more unbearable.He is very clear that no matter how disgusting the things in front of him are, they are not real, but just a psychological reaction to external influences.But whether it was fiction or reality, he felt the same.

"Natalie!" Leon tried to call out his wife's name, but he gave up.He was often trapped in daydreams, and he could barely wake up without external stimulation. "People with low self-awareness are prone to 'sleep paralysis.'" Leon once read this quote in the Journal of Popular Psychology.He's not one to have low self-esteem, but privately, he considers himself to be the "yes, but..." type: yes, he has thick, healthy dark hair, but the countless swirls make him look Always looks like he just woke up; yes, the sharp jaw makes him look a bit masculine, but the sparse beard makes him look like a teenager; yes, he has white teeth, but he laughs happily When he was young, he would reveal the results of expensive treatment, that is, filled teeth; yes, although he was 1.85 meters tall, he was always hunched over, so that he always looked shorter than his actual height.In short, he is not ugly, but the women who are looking for sex will at most give him a smile and will not give him their phone number.It was his best friend Shi Wen who could actually get these numbers.As far as appearance is concerned, Swensen was born with a good hand: from hair, teeth, lips, head shape, to palms... all aspects are comparable to Leon, but those "but" problems are missing.

"Natalie?" Leon muttered, trying to break free from sleep paralysis. "Help! Murphy is about to crawl on my tongue!" Leon was taken aback by his unexpected volume.Whether he was talking, grunting, or crying in his dreams, he basically only heard his own voice; but the whimpers he heard now sounded louder and shriller than his own, like a woman's voice . "Is that Natalie?" The surroundings suddenly brightened. Thank goodness! This time he broke free from the nightmare's shackles without kicking or shouting.He knew that almost one out of every two people had a similar experience to him, imprisoned in the dark world between sleep and waking, a dark world surrounded by gatekeepers, and only by relying on extraordinary people Willpower or external interference can break through.For example, blinding lights in the middle of the night, blaring music, sirens blaring, or...or bouts of crying?

Leon sat up and blinked. "Is that Natalie?" His wife was kneeling in front of the bedside table with her back to him, looking like she was looking for something in a shoe cabinet. "Sorry ma'am, did I wake you up?" There was no response other than incessant sobbing.Natalie sighed, and even the sob died away. "How are you?" Wordlessly, she took the booties out of the closet and threw them into... her suitcase? Leon lifted the quilt and stood up. what happened?Leon glanced at the clock on the bedside table.It was only six forty-five.It's so early that even the lighting in Natalie's aquarium hasn't been turned on.

"Are you still angry?" For a whole week, the two of them kept arguing, complaining about being ignored by the other, and had another big fight the day before yesterday, and they refused to look at each other before going to work every day.Natalie's first major photography exhibition is coming up, and Leon's architectural competition is at stake.Both men consider the deadlines they face to be more important than the other. On the first day of the Christmas holiday, the word "divorce" was uttered for the first time. Even if the two did not really intend to divorce, it was a signal that the nerves of both parties were stretched to the limit.Leon originally planned to invite Natalie to dinner to reconcile yesterday, but Natalie came back late from the gallery again.

"Look, I know, we all have our problems at the moment, but..." Natalie turned suddenly. Her eyes seemed to give him a slap in the face. "Natalie, why...?" Leon blinked in confusion, wondering if he was still dreaming. "My God! What happened to your face?" Natalie's right eye was purple and her eyelid was swollen, and her clothes looked like they had been put on in a hurry, but she was dressed and ready to go out.The floral blouse with ruffled sleeves was misbuttoned sideways, the lower part of the trousers was missing a belt, and the straps on the high-heeled riding boots were dangling loosely.

She turned around again and tried to close the suitcase stiffly, but the old suitcase obviously couldn't hold all the things Natalie wanted to take, not even a pair of red silk underwear, a scarf and her favorite things. The skirt hung abruptly over the edge of the box. Leon walked towards Natalie, wanting to bend down and hold her in his arms to comfort her, but Natalie shrank her body in panic and avoided it. "What the hell is going on?" He was at a loss, and Natalie reached out to grab her luggage in a hurry. Only four of the muddy gray fingernails remained, and the nail on the fifth finger was missing. "My God! Your thumb!" Leon exclaimed.He tried to grab Natalie's wounded hand, but lifted the cuff of her blouse, catching a glimpse of the wound on her wrist. Razor cut? "My God! Natalie, are you self-harming again?" This was the first question Natalie responded to. "me?" Natalie's eyes were filled with panic, fear, and—most confusingly to Leon—pity.Natalie's lips parted slightly, revealing a big missing front tooth. "I?" While he was stunned, Natalie shook off his hand and grabbed the phone on the bed.A string of plastic pearls, each engraved with a letter, hung from the smartphone to create a lucky charm with her name on it.The bracelet had been on her wrist when she was born in the hospital twenty-seven years ago.Natalie rushed out of the bedroom with the phone in one hand and the suitcase in the other. "Where are you going?" Natalie walked to the door and Leon shouted after her.When he hurried to the entrance, he tripped over a box and fell to the ground.The box was full of his architectural blueprints, which he was supposed to take to his office.Damn it! "Natalie, at least explain to me, please..." She ran to the stairwell without looking back. In the days following this horrific departure, although Leon himself was not sure, in his impression, he believed that when Natalie rushed to the gate, she dragged her right foot.Of course, it may also be because the luggage is too heavy or the shoelaces are not tied properly. When Leon came back to his senses and wanted to catch up with Natalie, she had already disappeared into the old elevator and pulled the door of the elevator like a shield.This woman, who has shared every moment of his life with him for three years, left him with another look full of panic, fear (and pity?) in the end: "Me?" Then, the elevator started turning.Leon froze for a second, then immediately ran towards the stairs. The wide wooden stairs descended around the elevator like a giant snake, and the soles of Leon's feet were stabbed by the burlap carpet on the stairs.All he wore was a pair of boxers that were too loose, and his thin buttocks couldn't support it at all, and there was a danger of slipping every step he took. When running downstairs, he thought to himself, if he kept his current speed and skipped several steps in one step, he would have time to reach the first floor before Natalie's elevator.However, the elderly Ivana who lived on the third floor opened the door of her house at this time, even though it was only opened a small crack, and the safety chain inside was not even released, this small action forced Leon to stop. "Alba, come back!" His neighbor kept calling, but it was too late, the black cat ran from Ivana's room to the stairwell, and jumped to Leon between the legs.Leon almost fell, so he had to stand firm first, holding onto the handrail of the stairs tightly with both hands. "God! Leon, are you okay?" The old woman hastily opened the door completely.But Leon ignored her concerns and hurried past her. It shouldn't be too late, because Leon could still hear the rattling sound of the wooden elevator moving and the rumbling sound of the steel cable running. Leon reached the first floor, turned around the corner, slid across the marble floor with a stride, and ran to the elevator door.He bent over and squatted on the ground, panting and waiting for the elevator that slowly descended to the first floor. However, after the elevator stopped, nothing happened! There was no shaking, no movement, no sign of anyone trying to get out of the elevator. "Natalie?" Leon took a deep breath, stood up straight, and wanted to check the situation behind the elevator door through the Art Nouveau stained glass.But nothing could be seen but darkness. He had no choice but to open the elevator door from the outside, and what caught his eyes was his dumbfounded expression. The mirrored elevator was empty.Natalie is gone.disappeared without a trace. How is this possible? Leon looked around suspiciously.At that moment, Dr. Taleski stepped into the empty porch.The pharmacist who lived above him never greeted anyone, giving the impression of being repulsive.He usually wears a brightly colored sports coat and white linen trousers, but today he unexpectedly changed into a complete sports suit with sneakers.His forehead was slightly shiny, and the underarms of his jacket were also stained with dark sweat. It seemed that he had just returned from a morning run. "Did you see Natalie?" Leon asked. "Who?" Taleski looked suspiciously at Leon's naked upper body and boxer-clad lower body.Perhaps the pharmacist was wondering what drugs were causing his neighbor to act this way, or what drugs could cure it. "Oh! You mean your wife? She just took a taxi and left." Taleski turned and walked towards the wall full of mailboxes, Leon couldn't see the expression on his face. Leon closed his eyes blankly, as if someone had pointed a flashlight straight into his eyes, and he passed Taleski and walked towards the door of the apartment. "You're killing yourself by going out like this!" the pharmacist warned after him. Every muscle in Leon's body tensed as he opened the gate and walked down the steps leading to the sidewalk.The house is located in a secluded part of the old town with little traffic, surrounded by small boutiques, restaurants, cafes, theatres, and venues like the Celeste that play mainly old and arthouse films. Small movie theater.In the hazy morning mist, the broken signboard light tube of the movie theater flickered on and off above Leon's head. Old gas street lamps were dimly lit.The streets on weekends are sparsely populated and deserted.A man was walking his dog not far away, and the owner of the store opposite was busy pulling up the roller shutter of the newsstand.Thanks to a well-planned policy that allows people to stay away from Christmas break all the way into the New Year, most people are still out of bed or out of town.Looking around, Leon couldn't see any cars or taxis, and of course there was no sign of Natalie, the street was dead silent. Leon's teeth began to chatter uncontrollably, and he quickly wrapped his arms around his body.When he returned to the warm building, Taleski had already boarded the elevator and left. Leon was frozen and delirious.He didn't want to wait for the elevator, so he walked up the stairs to his own floor. This time there was no cat in his way.Although Ivana's door was locked, Leon guessed that the old woman must be peeping at him through the door.The Falconi couple who live on the second floor often do the same. They are always worried because they are eager to have a child.They must have been awakened by his staggering footsteps and loud shouts. Maybe they'll complain to the council again, they complained earlier this year when Leon was celebrating his twenty-eighth birthday and the neighbors thought he was too noisy. Leon, who was trembling all over, finally reached the fourth floor in confusion and exhaustion.Thankfully, the door was only slightly closed and he wasn't locked out. Natalie's summery scent of perfume still lingers in the air.For a moment, he wished that all this was just a dream. The woman he wanted to grow old with was still hiding in the warm duvet, sleeping contentedly!However, when he saw that the side of the bed that belonged to Natalie was completely untouched, he realized that this hope would not come true. Leon stared at the open wardrobe, the clothes inside were turned into a mess.The drawer opened below was empty, and the small desk next to the window was completely empty.Until yesterday, the desk was full of props for Natalie's make-up, but now there is only a closed laptop.It was a compromise of Natalie's insistence on not having a TV in the bedroom.They watched many movies with this computer. The clock on Leon's bedside table jumped to seven o'clock.The lights of the aquarium turned on automatically, and in the light green light, Leon stared at his own image reflected on the glass of the aquarium in a daze.Not a single fish swims in this glass tank with four liters of fresh water.Natalie has been taking good care of her beloved fish and monitoring the water quality every day, but three weeks ago, all the fish died suddenly due to mold infection.This is undoubtedly a major blow to Natalie, and Leon doubts whether Natalie will have the courage to raise fish again in the future. Although there were no fish in the aquarium for a long time, the automatic opening setting of the lighting device has not been released.For several years, they have been used to being woken up in the morning by the light of the aquarium lighting. Leon angrily unplugged the aquarium.As the lights dimmed, his sense of loss returned. He sat on the edge of the bed, put his head in his hands, and tried to find a reasonable explanation for what had just happened.However, the harder he tried to remember, the less he could hide the fact that despite the sworn assurances of his doctors that he had recovered, his old illness had returned. The nightmare of the past swept over him again.