Chapter 25 9. The first meeting is a blind date

It must be admitted that compared with cases and patients, the process of psychotherapy is lengthy and boring.Therefore, I can't tell the whole counseling process, which will greatly reduce the readers' interest in reading; however, I don't want to mention the key treatment steps in one stroke, so as to deprive the book of the minimum knowledge and enlightenment.The spirit of entertainment is valuable, and it is also a manifestation of social progress, but if it is just entertainment, especially entertainment based on the suffering of patients, then the basic moral base will be lost; To describe the content of the interview with Yang Jie.

But no matter how you jump, the first meeting with her is still worth writing about. The first contact with a patient is always called "blind date" by me. On a blind date, older men, women and young people sit there, and no one knows what to say—it’s nothing more than your life, your family, your material conditions, your working environment, your hobbies— — If you're not sure about any of this stuff, a good sense of humor might be a good idea. If the two parties are right, then you may receive a call that night, and you will go to the movies or have dinner with the other party tomorrow; Another opposite sex kisses again.

Psychotherapy is different. If you fail to establish a trusting relationship with the patient, or at least make him feel that you are trustworthy, there will probably be no next time.It's true, Li Yonglin prepaid the fee for five times, but after one time, I have the possibility of refunding the remaining fee and never seeing Yang Jie again. Chinese patients have always been strongly skeptical.Even if you are extremely professional, due to the popularization of psychology, patients will still be uneasy: Am I sick?What exactly is this disease?Can it be cured?Will I be laughed at by others, even by doctors?Questions like this always bother them and make them hesitant to you.

Therefore, for the first consultation, the psychiatrist has to show the enthusiasm of the blind date. In order to meet Yang Jie, I made careful preparations, including: choosing casual clothes that are not so serious; finding a brown bag that does not look like a nouveau riche, and the right size; surface. I want to get rid of the sense of oppression brought about by professionalism, and of course I can’t be too casual; in addition, I have to blur my gender, which doesn’t mean that I want to change my gender and become a big girl, but that I have to try to weaken my masculine feelings.In China, sex is a particularly sensitive topic.Yang Jie has experienced divorce and emotional turmoil. She might cling to me like a life-saving straw, which is not a safe approach.

The first interview was arranged at Yang Ying's home. After the divorce, Yang Jie has been living with her sister.This is the third day after she was discharged from the hospital, and her physical condition and mental level have not fully recovered.In order to let her speak freely, I visited her, and Yang Ying also found an excuse to avoid going out. Their home is far away, and it took me an hour and a half to get there.When I got out of the car, I just received a call from Yang Ying. "Are you almost there?" she said. "My sister is doing well today, but she is a little hesitant about seeing you."

I asked her to rest assured, then according to the house number, I found the sixth floor. The doorbell rang two or three times, and Yang Jie opened the door without even asking who was outside. This is not the first time I have seen Yang Jie, but the last time I was in a crisis situation, I was dizzy by a large amount of blood, and I kept thinking about how to bandage, so I didn't see her appearance clearly. Face to face this time, I still couldn't help being moved by her beauty.Yang Jie's beauty is the kind of pure natural beauty without embellishment: high nose bridge, deep eye sockets, particularly clear double eyelids, moderately thick lips - I find these rhetoric seem weak.How to describe her beauty?I have no idea.Although her complexion is quite bad, because of endocrine disorders, she is also baggy, and her hair is also a brownish-yellow color that I don't like-but I have to say in fairness that Yang Jie is a beauty.

When she saw me, she couldn't help but froze for a moment.It's not because I'm too beautiful or too ugly, but because I'm too young. "Doctor Ai?" She asked tentatively.Her voice was not as good as her looks, but her tone was not offensive. "Well, Ms. Yang, I'm here to visit you." I know my faults, sometimes ruthless, sometimes too strong, so I put on a childish tone and make myself weaker. "Oh, please come in." She let me into the room. "Do you want to change your shoes?" "No, no, it's just like being in your own home. You see, I just woke up and the house hasn't been tidied up."

I looked around and couldn't see that the house needed cleaning.Li Yonglin's home is empty enough, and the word "more" should be added here.In the small living room, there is a row of sofas on the right, and a TV on the opposite side of the sofa; there is a coffee table on the left with a laptop on it.Directly facing me is a balcony with some women's underwear hanging on it.I quickly shifted my gaze and looked to the left. There should be two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen in the corridor. The layout is similar to that of the Li family. I replied politely and sat on the sofa.

"I've heard Little Xingxing mention you a long time ago. I wanted to find you a few months ago, but I heard that you are very busy." She smiled and was about to sit down when she patted her head suddenly, "Oh, look at me Remember, I don’t know how to get you something to drink. What are you drinking? The road is far enough, are you thirsty?” This is obviously a rehearsed opening line, but it doesn't matter, in order to meet her, why didn't I make a draft in my stomach? "No need," I called to stop her, "I've brought water." Then, I opened my bag, took out a bottle of Coke, and a bottle of juice.

"Most girls don't want to drink Coke, right? So I drink this, you drink juice." She oh, feeling a little strange, said thank you, but didn't reach out to pick up the juice. I turned the bottle around, shook it downwards, and said, "Look, there is no leak, right? Look carefully, and there are no pinholes on it. So, it is the same as what you buy in the supermarket. You can drink it with confidence." "Ouch." She froze for a moment, then reacted, and smiled happily with her mouth open.Her mouth was neither too big nor too small, and it was just right, but it was slightly blue due to ischemia, "Look at what you said, of course I know you don't know how to stuff it."

"It's rare that you trust me so much, hehe, some patients gave me medicine before." "Really?" She came to her senses immediately, which was completely different from the enthusiasm she had shown before, "Is there such a patient? What does he want to do?" "Who knows? There are also patients who have stolen my money, but that's all in the past, so don't mention it." The past is indeed unbearable. Yang Jie's appetite was whetted. Seeing that I didn't say anything, she was a little disappointed, but she immediately laughed again: "Doctor Ai, before you came, I had a lot to say to you. Now that you are here, I don't know what to say." How did you speak?" "It's okay, you're welcome, just call me Xiaoai, I'm younger than you anyway." I made myself more comfortable and reminded her: "You can say whatever you want, otherwise, just talk about what happened a few days ago." Let's start? I've heard it all, and I'm worried about you." What happened a few days ago refers to suicide, and we both know it well. A common misconception is that after a suicide attempt, families are often unaware or afraid to talk to the suicidal person.In fact, I have two advantages in doing this: one is to understand the thoughts and motives of the suicide; on the other hand, letting the suicide look back on the irrational behavior at the time of suicide can also effectively restrain the next suicide. Always remember, "Saving lives is more important than saving hearts!" The means of psychological counseling vary widely, but when encountering suicide, they are all the same.Whether before or after suicide, the most important thing is to solve the suicide crisis; otherwise, no matter how good and healthy a person's character, personality, and psychology are, once he dies, it will be all nonsense. My straightforwardness did not arouse Yang Jie's doubts. She might have guessed that this issue would be discussed today. "I," she said, "it's not appropriate to say that I regret it now, right? At that time, I felt empty in my heart, neither in nor out. I was very scared, and I kept holding the glass in my hand. I drank Order wine, this is the first time I drink beer. Really! I broke the wine bottle, I, I just pinched that piece of glass..." She said, suddenly lowered her head and covered her face with her hands. I didn't expect her to say so much at the beginning. Seeing her pain, I patted her on the shoulder twice: "It's okay, speak slowly. If you feel sad, we can stop for a while." "I'm sorry." She shrunk her face into her palm and cried, "I'm sorry, I'm so useless." That's what happens when feelings are built up for a long time; it's like poking a hole in a high-pressure water pipe. After crying for a while, she felt better and raised her head.I hand her a tissue. "Thank you," she said while wiping, "I made you laugh, am I being too emotional?" "No, I often cry." "I'm talking about suicide." "More than 50 percent of people have admitted that they have thought about suicide. The remaining 50 percent, I'm not sure if they are embarrassed to admit it." "What about you? Have you thought about it too?" "Yeah, I thought about it many times when I was in middle and high school." This is the truth.Under the heavy academic pressure, it is estimated that today's children will also think, "But I don't have that courage." I smiled, "I am not as good as you in this regard, of course, if you change your courage, it will be fine. " Either don't say these two sentences, or say them together.Suicide attempters are often confronted with blame.Accusations are everywhere, a look from family members, a certain expression from relatives and friends, even worry itself, also carries the meaning of accusation.So, I choose to encourage her.Of course, it's not okay to encourage her to commit suicide, so the second half of my sentence is to remind her that she has a lot of courage, but it's just not used in the right place. "Well, there's really no point in living now. To live, one must have some goals, don't you think? I don't have anything to do. When I wake up in the morning, I don't want to do anything, and I don't know what will happen in the future. If not They came at such a coincidence that I must be dead." Being excluded after saving someone, I feel somewhat uncomfortable. "It's a miracle that the vertical wrist slash was rescued." "Have you been to the hospital?" She was really sensitive. "No, I heard what Xiao Xingxing said. When you were in the hospital, I guess you probably didn't want to see me, so I didn't bother you." "You're right. I'm really ashamed of people with my virtue. In the hospital, they all came to see me. In fact, I was even more sad." "Are you so sad that you want to die?" "A little." "But you didn't do it." "Because I'm really embarrassed. I don't want to trouble everyone, and I don't want to trouble the hospital." "Well, what if you succeeded in committing suicide that night?" "Ah?" She was dazed by the question, "What do you mean?" "Things after death... Do you have faith?" "No," she looked at me, "even if there were, people who commit suicide can't go to heaven, can they?" "Indeed! So, have you thought about what will happen to the people around you after you die?" "They will be sad." "Who?" "My daughter, if she can understand that I'm dead. And Li Yonglin, without me, it will be more difficult for him to take care of his daughter alone. Little Xingxing and I have been friends for so many years, she will also be very sad." She said suddenly: "My daughter is sick, and very sick." Of course Yang Jie didn't know that I had met her daughter with Prader-Willi syndrome, why would she be so frank? "Sick?" I pretended not to know. "Yes, she was born with it. She is very fat and can eat very well. The doctor said that this is a genetic disease and it cannot be cured." "Did you lose your purpose in life because of your daughter?" "No!" She retorted seriously, "You may not believe it. However, I really love my daughter, and I don't treat her as a patient. It's just, maybe in her heart, I am a mother. It's just someone who looks at her and doesn't let her eat." Maybe that's true, but I can't say that. "Oh, I feel sorry for you, she didn't visit you while you were in the hospital, did she?" This is a small trap. I learned from Lao Wei that Yaoyao has visited her several times. "No, she is here. Although she doesn't quite understand, she is very anxious and very sad." "Then you're not a bad mother who only knows how to look at the food." She laughed softly: "You're right, maybe I'm not as bad as I thought." "Will you live for her?" I quietly reminded her. "I don't know, I can't see tomorrow. Li Yonglin doesn't come to see me anymore, I know he's tired of me, but seeing that I'm dying now, I'm embarrassed to say it." I remembered Li Yonglin's entrustment to me, never to disclose his investment.Should I keep a secret for him, or tell the truth so that Yang Jie can see hope? This is a dilemma, I fell into silence...