Chapter 4 4. You are my praying mantis

In some countries with developed psychology, there are a series of protective measures for psychological practitioners. In a way, psychiatrists do similar jobs to garbage collectors.It's just that the cleaners collect domestic garbage or industrial garbage, while we deal with spiritual garbage.No matter what kind of psychological and mental illness the patient has, except for trauma and genetic factors, it is nothing more than some psychological trauma.And these traumas are caused by negative reasons such as misunderstanding, failure, stress, and even hatred.The patient slowly confessed these traumas and got a kind of catharsis, but correspondingly, this trauma was transferred to the psychological worker.They not only need to understand them and study them, but also find solutions to problems based on these negative emotions.Over time, the impact of these spiritual garbage on psychological practitioners is self-evident.

Therefore, some countries stipulate that every three months, up to half a year, a psychologist must find another colleague to help him analyze and treat psychological problems.I will go to you for help, and you will go to him... Everyone is always in a single-line connection. There is no such thing as you treating me, and I will treat you in turn. However, in China, where the psychological profession is underdeveloped, due to the lack of supervision system and the uneven level of practitioners, it is even more difficult to achieve this. The vast majority of psychiatrists in our country will not seek help from others until they develop the disease themselves.Therefore, people like me, until they have severe hallucinations, can't help but ask my counselor worriedly: "In your opinion, there are still a few years left before I can control my mind." The mood is similar to that when a cancer patient asks the doctor "how long can I live?"

My worries are not groundless. Even though I can still control myself now and can distinguish between illusion and reality, the most deadly part of illusion is that one day, reality and illusion will be entangled together.When that day comes, my life will be ruined. Jian Xinlan was obviously at a loss for what to do with my question.She wanted to comfort me, but because we were colleagues, I could easily see through the comfort without any professional value, so she chose to remain silent. After a while of silence, she told me with some hope: "I dare not say that a cure will be found, but one thing is worth noting. I suspect that your anxiety caused your hallucinations."

"Anxious? I'm not anxious!" "It's just that you didn't realize it. Let's put it another way. Look, this is your fourth hallucination, right? The first three times, you also had hallucinations about your patients dying." "yes." "However, none of them died." "Yes, this is also true, and then?" "But they may end up at a dead end. Take Xiaojie as an example. Xiaojie's parents gave him the knife his brother used to commit suicide as a birthday present. To what extent do such parents push their children? You and I both know it well. If the situation is allowed to worsen, Xiaojie’s ending can be imagined. Sooner or later, he will follow his brother and go on the road of no return. Therefore, you can foresee that there is an abyss in front of him, so the You can also think of it this way, it is because of your intervention that you have prevented Xiaojie's condition from deteriorating, and you have changed the future in which he may die."

Jian Xinlan didn't leave me a chance to refute, and continued: "For ordinary psychiatrists, it is enough to foresee Xiaojie's future is dark. It's just that your emotions are more intense, and your brain gives you It presents a more exciting way to let you fantasize about Xiaojie's death. This kind of stimulation intensifies the energy and time you spend on him. Therefore, this can be regarded as a form of anxiety in disguise. You Do you understand what I mean?" "Yes, I think I understand, but... you mean, my subconscious is exaggerating the patient's condition, as if in my subconscious, I have molded myself into a prophet who can change the patient's fate." This conclusion made me I can't help but feel sick, although I can live in peace with those self-righteous people, but if this problem is placed on myself, I really can't accept it.

"Maybe so, maybe not. But you don't have anything to blame. How can anyone keep a stern face after being praised? We will all be happy, but it's not written on our faces. Everyone will be proud of doing important things Yangyang, at this point, no one can fight against nature." "Well, even so, I still don't understand: the previous three hallucinations may be similar, but this one about Li Yonglin is a bit outrageous. I didn't think he would die." "It's just that you haven't realized it. Maybe in your subconscious mind, you think he is in trouble too. Can you tell me the whole story of this matter? I'll help you analyze it too."

"Okay, but before that, I have a question." "Say!" "I don't know how to speak, let's put it this way," I looked into Jian Xinlan's eyes, she was so confident, maybe she had already guessed my question, "You are my psychiatrist, but you never charge , and it’s not the first time I’ve asked you out in the middle of the night like today, so I’m a little confused about it.” "There's nothing to be confused about. Do you care about money?" "Yes! I really care!" I nodded seriously. "You care about money more than your patients?"

"Of course! I am a man of no faith, and I can swear it." "You can really pretend!" "You can really drag the topic away." I returned her rudely. "Okay," she said, "then I'll answer your question. I don't charge because I should be earning more than you, which is of course a secondary reason; the main one is that you're a black hole and I've been You attract, heal you, give me pleasure." Bring pleasure... This is obviously a very cool expression, but it sounds very unpleasant to me!If she says something like "I'm interested in you" or "I like you a lot", then I will be happy whether I like her or not.After all, being liked and followed by others is a good thing for everyone.But what is "bringing pleasure"?

Before I could react, Jian Xinlan stretched out her hand and stroked my fingers: "Although you are like a doctor in the rivers and lakes picking up jobs, visiting patients, and sometimes even pretending to be a high-end call girl, I can still see through it. Your essence, you are very skillful and conscientious. You treat ordinary patients to satisfy your sense of accomplishment, so I treat you as fun. Isn’t there such a saying, it’s called "mantis catches cicada, oriole catches it" After'. If the general patient is a cicada, then you are my praying mantis!" She looked at me with the kind of eyes that stare at prey, but it didn't arouse my uneasiness.Very well, as long as you feel that this is an equivalent exchange, I have nothing to worry about.

In order for Jian Xinlan to help me figure out the reason for this hallucination, I had to spend some time to tell the whole story about what happened during the long day of July 30th...