Chapter 31 Chapter 29 Mental Stress

Doi put the scarf back in the box, put it in the drawer, and put the letter from Setsuko Ueura in his pocket.The briefcase was still on the table as far as the eye could see. Three kinds of daily newspapers were placed neatly on the table, and Masako Saeki picked them up after Doi finished reading them. "Where does this go?" Masako asked, picking up the doujinshi that Doi had thrown away casually. "Put it over there, please." "Fan poetry magazine "Monsoon"." Changzi read the words on the cover in a low voice. "Someone gave it to me, if you are interested, take it and look through it."

"Really, look it up when I have time." Saeki Masako picked it up and wanted to leave the room. "Ah, wait a minute. Miss Saeki, do you like poetry?" "I don't know much about it, but I like it." "There is a poem called "The Fool of Happiness" published there. Please tell me your thoughts after reading it. The person signed by Hachiro Nishida is someone I know." "Is that Mr. Nishida who called yesterday?" "Yes, he is a different person. On the one hand, he is a reporter for the "Insider News", and on the other hand, he runs a fanzine at his own expense. Due to lack of funds, he can only run a quarterly magazine with a small number of pages."

"I dare not say what I think, just read it." Saeki Masako went to the next room.Doi opened the newspaper and read it casually.Although I read the newspaper, what I still linger in my mind are those "letters" and the scarf in the drawer. Suddenly, the name in the newspaper caught Doi's attention.In the October 20th "Talking" column: "On the twelfth, Teranishi Masaoka played golf with Fukuichi Okuheira, Mitsuzo Kihara, Taijiro Motegi, Denroku Mihara and others in Karuizawa. The time to 'resign the president' is coming. My friends had a great day."

Teranishi is scheduled to be named party president at the constitutional party's general meeting in November and will take over as prime minister.It appears that he is currently concentrating on exercising.These people who play golf with him are the backbone of the Sixi faction, who are scheduled to be the next minister or the three main leaders of the party.Among them, the name "Mihara Denroku" caught Doi's attention. The member of the House of Representatives, Mihara Denroku, is the Terasai faction.Reporters said he was the former "head of the police system".By all accounts, he still wields a great deal of influence over the police system.

When Doi saw his name in the newspaper, he felt as if a black cloud had appeared in the corner of the sky, casting a dark shadow on the "letter" in his collection, and it was about to cover himself. If the Teresi Pai found out that there was such a "letter" and knew its collector, then the bank's rental safe was not necessarily a safe place, and Mihara Denroku might mobilize the police to search the safe.Because, Mihara probably believed that this incident would lead to a "crisis" in the surrender of his leader Zen to the president, and he must try to get the "love letter" before their political opponents did it.

Doi originally wanted to stabilize his emotions, but the thought of "what if" would often occur, which disturbed his mind.He thought to himself, everyone will have negligence, and he will also have loopholes. Is there a place to store secret letters that even the omniscient and omnipotent God cannot discover? Doi took out the business card of Norio Kurimoto, Acting President of the Oimachi Branch of Bank B, from his business card holder, and dialed the number.Kurimoto's voice came from the microphone. "I'm Doi who met you an hour ago about the safe." "Ah, Mr. Doi, I'm sorry!" Behind the seemingly respectful words, Doi seemed to see his annoying eyes.

"I've thought about it. About renting the safe, we'll talk about it later." "Ah! Wait for the time being?" the acting president asked Doi. "I've caused you trouble." Doi apologized. "No, it doesn't matter, we make meeting customers a profession." Acting President Kurimoto said like a polite businessman. "Sorry!" "Where is it... But, you feel that the burden of regular savings is too heavy, so you can only save 300,000 yuan. How about it?" "..." "You can save the insufficient number when it is convenient for you."

"No, I'm not talking about regular savings. I'm talking about renting safes." "Really!" Kurimoto seemed to give up. "That's a pity, please come again if you have a chance in the future!" He put down the microphone. The acting president called "Mr. Doi" and "Mr. Doi" when he opened his mouth, which became Doi's concern again.Although Doi did not tell him his address, he regretted that he should not tell the other party his last name. After spending so much effort on these "letters", it is better to simply return them to Mrs. Wenzi!If you think about it carefully, there may be a proper way to return it to her.Hand it back to her, and I feel instantly at ease.Might as well just burn it!In this way, the hidden danger of Mrs. Wenzi will disappear forever.

Thinking of this, Doi felt much more relaxed.Never again will you be threatened by the invisible shadow of Mihara Denroku who manipulates the police bureaucracy.Although my mood calmed down, it seemed that my heart was empty, like a big hole. Doi rested his cheeks on both palms, staring at the briefcase in front of him.Then Saeki Masako came in. "I have read Mr. Nishida's poems." She gently put "Monsoon" on the table.She stood there for a moment as if she was about to say something after reading it.But seeing that Doi was concentrating on thinking about the problem, he quietly went back to his room without saying anything.

Doi looked at the fan poetry magazine that was placed there, and felt that it was very unpleasant, so he grabbed it and opened the bottom drawer of the table and threw it in.Thin magazines lay beside the box with the scarf. "I saw this Mila Schon scarf sent to your wife even though it was out of season. If you like it, I am very happy." It seems that Wenzi's soft voice is coming out of the white box. ——The 'letter' must never be returned to Wenzi, nor can it be burned!This is a violation of Waipu's last will, and all his unforgettable thoughts are condensed here!Suddenly, a passionate and stubborn belief-like power surged in Doi's chest. "Don't rush to deal with it, you should think about it in the long term. Only by keeping it in your own hands can you maintain the spiritual connection with Waipu." Doi made this decision, and the hole that had just formed in his chest seemed to be filled by something.

"I will never waver in the future!" He took out the letter paper and finished writing the letter to Setsuko Gaiura in one go. "In the past few days, you came here on purpose, and didn't even say a word of comfort. I'm really sorry. Today is the anniversary of your husband's May 7th death. Thank you for sending me the relics of Waipu. I recalled your husband's friendship with me... " He thought that by writing this thank you letter, he would strengthen his resolve. The phone rang and Masako Saeki answered. "It's Mr. Kinoshita Masaharu's secretary, Mr. Adachi. I want to make an appointment with you about entrusting Mr. Kinoshita's writing. When will you be free?" Masaharu Kinoshita is a member of the Katsura faction. "You can decline for me. You say that there are too many jobs at hand and no time." In fact, Doi didn't have the heart to take care of these things anymore. Just in case, Doi didn't take the crowded subway, but took a taxi and returned to the apartment. Since the day before yesterday, the ordinary room that Doi has been accustomed to living in seems to have changed a lot.He always suspected that someone had sneaked in and hidden somewhere when he was not at home.Doi, who has been living his life carelessly, now carefully locks the door when he enters the house, as if he wants to build this small room into an impenetrable fortress.It's all for the briefcase! Doi turned on the light in the back room, and then turned on the light in the bedroom.He inspected every nook and cranny, checked the windows carefully, and sat down on the sofa in the living room, pulling his briefcase close to him.The mood is still not easy.Where is it hidden?There is no ground to bury in the apartment.What about the picture frame hanging on the wall?Here's where it gets noticed first.There are quite a few books in the bookcase, and one-third of the books are related to politics and economics. They are commonly used books. Do you put them in the overcrowded bookcase?Doi was thinking about it. In the corner of the wall in front of the bookcase is a large planter, a pleasant viewing plant.Pull out this rubber tree, wrap the "letter" in oiled paper and put it on the bottom of the pot, and then plant other things?Doi tried shaking the tree trunk in the pot.At this time, his waist touched the bookcase, and a thick foreign literature book fell to the ground, revealing a piece of paper from the book.It's old mimeograph paper: It is true that the intra-school struggle is an exercise in launching an important struggle, and we must go all out.By blocking the struggle in our headquarters, we eliminated all students' fear of struggle and worries about their future.What the blockade struggle brought to the whole school was not disunity among us.On the contrary, it brings new and infinite vitality to the struggle. Don't be shaken by temporary difficulties!Cherish the new life sprouting in your hearts!Without the blockade struggle, there will be no new revolutionary action, and the fruits of victory in the blockade struggle must be maintained!This is our duty! ... This piece of paper is a "souvenir" from more than ten years ago.Why wasn't it burned?It's to recall the past, to caress the wound in my heart when I'm in pain... Doi took out the "letter" from his briefcase, put it in an empty tea tube, and put it under the bed.This night, I hugged it to sleep.He seemed to hear something in his sleep and woke up twice. Its daybreak.Doi, as usual, toasted bread, made ham and eggs, boiled water and drank black tea.He took out the morning paper of October 21st from his mailbox, and there was a striking headline: "Because of the approaching of 'Resignation', the Sixi faction is in high spirits. The Sixi clan is ready to form a cabinet." Recently, there have been more reports about the movements of Masahide Terahide and the Terahide faction.It is an open secret that the constitutional party chairmanship has been transferred from the prime minister and current president Katsushige Shinobu to Terasai.Criticism of the "privatization of the regime" by public opinion is of no avail. Instead, they advocate holding a party conference and using "democratic elections" to select the president.It is generally estimated that the party congress will be held in mid-November. The constitutional party is divided into two major factions, the Gui faction and the Sixi faction, with the Gui faction dominant.However, it is also difficult for the Gui faction to continue to be in power, so the current political power has been surrendered to the Sixi faction, so as to maintain the cooperative relationship between the two factions.Rumor has it that they have secretly agreed to return power to Gui next time.The Sixi faction does not have the strength to control the political power alone.The press predicted that the proportion of cabinet members would be four from the Sixi faction, four from the Gui faction, and one from the middle faction. If the Itakura faction did not participate, the Sixi faction would take their seats. The newspaper published a large photo of Teranishi smiling, in his garden and golf course.He smiled majesticly at the camera. What is the idea of ​​the new regime? "How can there be such a perfect plan now"; is it a temporary attack on the policy of the Gui faction? "It hasn't been decided yet that I can become the prime minister, so I have no comment." Masaki Teranishi answered questions from the press corps with great interest. Gui Shigenobu is the current prime minister and party president, and the press corps did not ask him these questions.Gui only briefly talked about the current economic and diplomatic situation.It makes people feel that he is already a "former prime minister".He did not attend the meeting of the House of Representatives where the Prime Minister was supposed to attend, and sent his representative.Guipai is quiet. The newspapers carried the distressed and anxious face of the anti-mainstream Itakura Susuke, who offered no insight. Doi brought the briefcase containing the "letter" to the "Doi Office". He dared not leave it in the dormitory where there was no one, but took it with him.There is Masako Saeki in the office.Doi felt that she was someone who could be trusted, but she was a woman after all, so she was still worried.Not behind a picture frame, not on the ceiling, not in a bookcase, not in a wardrobe or in a flower pot, there is nowhere to hide. That night, Doi had a messy dream.After getting up, he took out the empty tea box from under the bed and put it on the breakfast table, still thinking wildly.If you have nothing to hide, just put it in the kitchen trash can? Ordinary thieves want cash and valuables, and will not be interested in this kind of "love letter".What Doi had to guard against now were "political" thieves, especially some of the Terasai faction who could exert a strong influence on the police.If anyone guessed that Gaipu had preserved Mrs. Teranishi's "love letter" and entrusted it to Nobuyuki Doi before going to Chile, they would immediately try to get it.At that time, they would not use the police, but the gang organizations under them. Doi took a taxi to the Adam Hotel with the briefcase containing the "letter".The wireless phone in the taxi rang. "Three hundred and eleven, three hundred and eleven... I understand. Three hundred and twelve... I understand... Three hundred and thirteen... Three hundred and fourteen... I understand... Three hundred and one No. 15, No. 315... Please go to the Kioicho City Center Hall, Mr. Ikeda is waiting in front of the door, please... yes, it is in front of the main entrance of the City Center Hall. It is said to be worn Gray coat... No. 316... Got it. No. 317..." Doi couldn't stand the noise, so he couldn't help but say to the driver: "Driver, can you turn down the radio volume?" The driver didn't answer. "No. 318...understood. No. 319, No. 319..." Doi had a headache, and the radio sound, which he usually didn't care about, was ringing in his ears and hitting his brain. "Driver, please turn down the radio volume..." "Guest, this is our business contact. No matter how quiet the voice is, I can't hear it. The noise outside is so loud!" It's no use arguing with the driver, you should try to avoid disputes for now! "Three hundred and twenty-three... got it. Three hundred and twenty-four... got it. Three hundred and twenty-five, car number three hundred and twenty-five..." "Please stop! I want to get off." Doi couldn't take it anymore. "Aren't you going to Akasaka?" "Just get here." The driver took the money with a sneer.The place to get off is Aoyama 1-chome.Doi carefully stood on the sidewalk holding his briefcase.An empty car came over immediately, and Doi got on the car. "Where?" "Sorry, it's very close, to Akasaka." The driver didn't answer. There are many vehicles on the downhill road from Toyokawa Inari to Akasaka, and there are five intersections, and there is a long queue of cars waiting for the red light.The driver turned on the tape recorder.A pop song blared, and the female singer was screaming hysterically.Doi covered his ears. — Am I really having a nervous breakdown?how so…… Doi returned to the Adam Hotel office, it was past ten o'clock. "Good morning!" Saeki Masako greeted him. "Good morning!" Doi put the briefcase on his desk.The sunlight that streams in from the window casts its shadow on the glass plate on the table, so that I feel strongly that "Xin" is really by my side.When I opened the lower drawer and put the briefcase inside, I saw the fanzine "Monsoon Wind" that Hachiro Nishida gave himself the day before yesterday.In order to put it in the briefcase, Doi took it out, flipped through a few pages, and saw the song "The Fool of Happiness" by Nishida Haruo. Read Sunaga's Being Fooled, I envy its happiness. but I have no chance to receive it, That happy fool. I know deeply what surrounds me Only deceit, ridicule, slight, But I can't fight an eye for an eye, Can only make a flattering smile. In order to live, courage and boldness are exhausted, Thirty years of hardships have trained me. The fire in the breast is unstoppable, His face was full of obedience and expression. trampled weeds, Tomorrow I will say: "That's a lie!" mocking lies, malicious lies, Deprivation of human dignity! half my life accustomed to fooling, I envy Sunaga, A fool who longs to be as happy as he is But he said, "I have always struggled with poetry." what!what!happy poet, You still live for poetry! Doi called Changzi. "Miss Saeki, is there such a poet as Suuna?" "I do not know about this." "Are there any poets in the past?" "I haven't heard of it." Changzi looked at the book in Doi's hand and said. "I've also read Nishida-san's poem, but I don't know a poet named Suinaga." "Nasunaga may be Mr. Hachiro Nishida's poetic friend." Doi said after listening to Masako's answer. "...This is Mr. Nishida's own life poem. Although he is said to be a reporter for the "Insider Newspaper", he is a newspaper reporter who can't even print a single page. He is a so-called 'information dealer'. He has no background. It is very difficult to live. I don’t know how many people there are in his family. He is looked down upon by others, and he is said to be this or that, but he endures humiliation for the sake of making a living. I think he is a kind person in essence.” The phone rang.After Changzi picked it up, he asked the other party to wait. "It's Mr. Kinoshita's secretary, Adachi. The one who called the day before yesterday about writing a book." "Has that matter been rejected?" "He said he must talk to Mr. Doi." Doi knew that Councilor Masaharu Kinoshita belonged to the Katsura faction, but no matter what the faction was, he didn't want to do things like writing books for others. Doi picked up the earphones. "Hi, hello, I'm Doi." "Ah, Mr. Doi, it's been a long time!" "Hello!" "I am Toshiaki Adachi, the secretary of Senator Shoji Kinoshita who called the day before yesterday. Kinoshita is often under your care." This is the catchphrase of the secretary.Adachi's voice was low and muddy, not clear. "I've already told the secretary. Kinoshita is going to publish a book this time, and he told me to ask Mr. Doi for help. I know you are very busy, but can you allow me to see you?" "I'm sorry, if this is the case, I have already declined." "I heard, but it won't take up much of your time, okay." "I know I can't serve you, so there's no need to meet." "Is it that busy?" "yes……" "Can you manage to arrange the time? Kinoshita is very much looking forward to Mr. Doi's help." "Sorry!" "Actually, we have already set a date for the commemorative publication. Although it is a book, it is enough to write about 200 copies, and we will provide ample rewards." "It's a pity, but I can't spare this time." "But, Mr. Doi employs a stenographer?" "..." "You don't need to write it yourself, just dictate it." Secretary Adachi knew that Doi used dictation to write, and he thought that as long as he spoke casually, he could write a manuscript.Doi felt displeased with his ignorance.It takes a lot of work to write for someone.You have to listen to the general opinion of this person first, understand his intentions for publications or speeches, collect information, and conduct investigations before you can consider ideas.When writing, you must stand from the standpoint of the person concerned, so you need to fully understand your personality, the characteristics of daily speech, etc.The vast majority of people who asked him to write things did not understand the joys and sorrows of writing, thinking that ghostwriting was a simple job. "It's true to use dictation shorthand. It's just that you don't need a pen, but it takes the same time as taking a pen. Because I still have to revise the shorthand draft." Doi said in a somewhat indifferent tone. "So that's how it is." "yes." "Is it the woman who answered the phone just now who did the shorthand?" Doi thinks this is superfluous. "That's our own business, there is no need to answer!" "I'm sorry." The other party apologized slightly. "Mr. Doi, I ask you again, can you think of something?" "I can't meet your request, I'm very sorry." "Understood." Secretary Adachi's voice suddenly became rude. "Never beg you again." "..." "I don't ask you, there are plenty of places that can be entrusted!" The phone is disconnected. Doi remembered hearing the same words once.That was when Nishikori Ukichi's secretary Hataka said when he refused to write "The Great Man-Masaki Terasai", "I don't beg you anymore!" "Did Mr. Adachi ask about the stenographer?" Masako Saeki asked. "He asked the stenographer if it was you." "It's strange." Following Doi's words, Masako Saeki tilted his short-haired head. "Strange? Why?" "Mr. Adachi specifically asked if the stenographer is hired?" "I can't say it was on purpose, maybe I just asked by the way. Because it was you who answered the phone first." "Just this?" "..." "It's a bit unpleasant. Is someone checking me?" "That's superfluous, there is no reason to check you." "That's right, check what I'm doing." She returned to her room with an incredulous expression on her face. Doi is offended by Secretary Adachi's rudeness.He opened the newspaper and continued to read the unfinished news. There was news of the fire in the newspaper.An apartment in Edogawa Ward burned down, thankfully no one was dead.The victims had no time to move out their belongings and were accommodated in a nearby elementary school auditorium in only their pajamas. Doi nervously read the newspaper.He thought: I don’t know that day, a fire broke out in the apartment where I lived.At that time, just as some people couldn't move their belongings, they couldn't produce their "letter". Doi immediately wanted to move to a single-family house.He dropped the newspaper and called Masako Saeki. "Miss Saeki, is it easy to find a rental house?" "Renting a house?" Masako showed a puzzled expression. "If you ask a realtor, you might find it. But..." "Then please go to them earlier." "Is Mr. Doi going to move in?" she asked in surprise. "That's what I want. I'm tired of living in an apartment, and I want a change of atmosphere." "Ah, is it?" "If you can find a place not far from here..." "Should I go and talk to the real estate dealer in front of the private railway station? Because you are very busy!" Masako seemed very willing to take care of this matter.