Chapter 25 Chapter 23 Love

Nobuyuki Doi put the drawer on the table and sat down on the chair.This is a steel "treasure box" seven centimeters high, 28.6 centimeters wide, and 53.5 centimeters long.Doi opened the lid, and inside was only a small item wrapped in persimmon lacquer paper.Doi picked it up and weighed it. It was light, without the weight of precious metals at all.Doi restrained his excitement, and carefully opened the persimmon lacquer package.There was no one in the room, only Doi himself in this narrow world. When I opened the persimmon lacquer paper, I saw a large, bulging brown envelope, which was sealed.Relying on his rights as an "agent", Doi opened the seal, took out the contents and put them on the table.It was a bundle of papers bound casually with rubber bands.In addition, there is an ordinary envelope with "Nobuyuki Doi" written on it, in Gaipu's handwriting.Doi took out the contents of the envelope, and there were several folded letter papers.

Nobuyuki Doi: You may wonder why I treasure these things.Actually, I don't know myself.What I can confess is that all the letters and notes I received from her have not been destroyed, but have been preserved in complete secrecy.She must have believed that I would burn these 'letters' immediately after reading them or tear them into small pieces and throw them away.But I didn't, I didn't burn it, I didn't tear it up, it was all hidden. As you can see, the 'letters' are scrawled on small pieces of paper.In order not to be seen, she crumpled these into a ball in her hand and hurriedly handed them to me, and I held it in my hand again, the paper crumpled into a ball.I only read her 'letter' when there was no one there and smoothed it out.I ironed the letters I had read one by one and put them away, and what remained was this bundle of letters.All these years, she didn't know anything about it.

Why do you want to do this?Because, not only did I betray her, but I also wanted to keep these things as 'evidence' and use them for certain purposes at certain opportunities. "For a certain purpose" - write this kind of general statement, you will also understand my intention, you will understand that I once had a certain ambition. Doi continued to read Waipa's letter with a disturbed mood. ... I did want to use these 'letters' as a weapon to realize my ambition.For it, I carefully ironed the wrinkles on the paper and preserved it properly.Of course, there is no place to hide at home or in the office, so I chose a rental safe from Mukojima Bank.In case, others discover the existence of these love letters and search for them, the safe is the best safe place.Without the special key I received from the bank and the signature and seal I filed, the safe cannot be opened, and outsiders will never be able to get it.

Seeing this, you will look down on me.I betrayed her and she was innocent.It would never have occurred to her that there was such a terrible filth lurking in my mind, nor would she even now. I'm going to Chile.Work is busy, so end this letter as soon as possible.In fact, I was not able to take advantage of these love letters because the timing was never right.This time, I made up my mind to leave Japan, so to speak, in order to give up the opportunity to take advantage of it forever.Why?This mood is too complicated to express clearly in a few words. Then, you might say, burn these love letters to ashes, wouldn't everything be over?I have heard the same admonition from my heart.However, this was not possible, and simply put, it was a pity to burn it to ashes.During my three years as a politician's secretary, my conscience was also polluted by the dirt of the political world.In life, bad things that go against common sense and cannot be done are often feasible in politics.

I can't understand it, and I can't explain it. After keeping these "letters" secretly, I entrust all the processing power to you.If I analyze my psychology and write it in this letter, not only will the content of the letter be fragmented, but it will also be too long.There is no time to write more words.If I could sum up the reasons handed over to you in one sentence, it would be 'It would be a pity to burn it! ' This letter was put in the safe at the bank after we talked at the 'Tiriya House' in Asakusa.I spent an hour re-reading her 'letter', as if a millionaire, in a deserted place, retrieved the diamonds in the vault and stroked them one by one with his fingers.It is not easy to make the determination to burn the treasured rare treasures...

Doi untied the thick rubber band from the paper bundle, feeling that the truth of this mysterious mystery was about to be revealed.The papers were spread out on the table, in different sizes, and the corners of the paper were a little curled, with obvious traces of ironing.Letter paper is common letter paper sold in the market, four consecutive letters are the longest, and there is also a single letter.The handwriting was beautiful, with no date or name of recipient.With excitement, Doi began to read the four consecutive long letters at the top of the bundle. It's hard to find an opportunity to meet.Two days a week, I can see your face and hear your voice, but the voice and smile are not for me, but for my husband and others.You turned a blind eye to me and paid no attention to me.For me, it was worse than not seeing each other for a month.You often say, "We must be extremely cautious under the eyes of everyone, otherwise, it will lead to danger. Between the two of us, every tiny movement and exchange of eyes may be felt abnormal by the people around us, so it is the same as before. Same, adopt an attitude of indifference." I said these words first.You have heeded well the sagacious counsel of a woman three years older than you.

Although I know these agreements, I find this isolation more and more unbearable.I want to suppress it with reason, but I can't rule it out: the pain in my heart.For the first time, I tasted the pain caused by the ambiguous relationship that cannot be confessed to others.For the first time in my life... Nevertheless, knowing that there is no other way to change it, I had no choice but to give up my hope and pin my hopes on the fantasy that we, longing for, will soon be realized.In order to distract myself from the loneliness, pain and boredom, I forced myself to attend the reception and chat with the visiting guests, but if it didn’t work, it made me even more depressed.

I don't know how!You don't say anything, which makes me feel worse.I hope to see your strongest reaction, even if it is to scold me severely!I love you sincerely, but a person like me doesn't even have the freedom to love, it's so chilling.After thinking about it, I just feel anxious... This is a love letter written by a woman. Of course, the person who received the love letter is Souro Waipu. Who wrote it? It can only be inferred from the reading between the lines that this woman is a married woman, and she is "a woman who is three years older" than Waipu.From the words "going to the reception" and "with the visiting guests", it can be imagined that she is in an upper-class environment.Not only these, but also, "I can see your face and hear your voice two days a week".This is the number of times Waipu came to her house, of course to find her husband...

Doi began to read the following letter.It was a letter written on three consecutive sheets of paper, and the handwriting was correct and beautiful. I got home before ten o'clock last night.We took a taxi back together and changed to taxis on the way.Before I got in the car, you stood five meters away from me and secretly saw me off.I am happy to feel your warm gaze on my back, which is more satisfying to my heart than the moment we met.When we met, although I immersed my whole body and mind in happiness, from time to time I felt that there was a gap between us somewhere.You are always silent, why?Either you give me a good scolding, or you enjoy the fun of the party happily, that would be great!I always look forward to this joy before meeting.I have a lot to say to you, but seeing your depressed face, I can't say anything.Speaking those meaningless words, I was afraid of destroying your emotions and causing you to despise me.

I fully understand your situation and mine.However, I hope you will forget all about it for a while when we meet.It makes me sad that you often put a pane of reason between us.When I say these words, you may call me a confused woman. When we parted, I took a taxi. Although you were standing a little farther away, your gaze was full of deep love for me.At this moment, my heart was filled with happiness, as if the night in Hakone had returned to me! ... "It seems that the night in Hakone has come back to me..." When I saw these words, a spot of light appeared in front of my eyes.That is, the plot of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" written by Takuro Ura in shorthand notation!Masako Saeki interpreted it for himself.

A camping bonfire was lit in the dark forest, and a song of youth floated in through the window.Late at night on such a day, "she" came to "his" room, and there was a light knock on the door. "He" knew who it was, and after hesitating for a while, he made up his mind to open the door. "She" suddenly tore off the black veil covering her face, buried her face in "his" arms and wept bitterly.Crying like this, he confessed his love to "him"."She" did not leave "his" room until the next morning... These descriptions were corroborated in the letter. Doi closed his eyes. The story of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" gradually becomes a reality that emerges.Although it is an old thing in the past, it is as vivid and realistic as what happened just now. He adjusted his breathing, calmed down and read on. In the past two days, you have done many things for my husband, and he is thanking you.However, I always feel that you are working so hard to settle the relationship with me, so you forget everything and serve my husband wholeheartedly, which also makes me sad. When you work, your face seems angry.I always feel that this is caused by my stupid behavior, and I feel extremely depressed. Please teach me to save my heart!Today, because there are so many guests visiting my husband, I can't write a long letter.At this time, in the dead of night, it was already half past one in the morning, so I hurriedly wrote these few sentences. It was so hard to look forward to your letter yesterday, and my chaotic mood calmed down. Every time I burn your letter, I feel as sad as burning my own soul.However, in order to avoid falling into the hands of others had to do so.You burn my letter in the same mood as me, right?As your letter burned to ashes in the fire, I couldn't help thinking that I couldn't live without you.Although the letters exchanged between us have turned into ashes, I firmly believe that our love is sincere and will last forever. Recently, there is always a feeling that something is going to happen, and I always remind myself "be careful!" However, nothing happened, please rest assured.This may be because people with ulterior secrets have their own suspicions and dark ghosts! I may have had a bit of a nervous breakdown lately.Because I can't figure out your mood, so sometimes I even have hysterical attacks, which is a symptom of neurasthenia.I don't want to put the blame on you at all.All due to my stupidity.Give me comfort and comfort me!At that time, my mental state will improve.You may laugh at my silly little girl talk. As I said, be careful of the people around you, but nothing special happened, so don't worry about it, just act naturally as before. Thank you for calling me today.I couldn't have a long conversation on the phone, so I had to write again... There were seven or eight guests from my husband outside, so I had to stop writing for the time being. At the request of my husband, I spent three weeks in the electoral district, which was a boring life.In order not to be noticed by the people in the electoral district as my abnormality, I had to force myself to receive them warmly, and lived a very painful life.Because there are too many eyes and ears around me, I can't talk to you on the phone, which adds to my mental distress.Once, I couldn't help longing to hear your voice, and made up my mind to pull out the phone, but it was my wife who answered the phone, so I had to put down the phone without saying a word.Please don't call me a frivolous and vile woman! After three weeks, when I came back to see you, I was surprised by how bad your face looked.I think, because I am not in Tokyo, you have been tortured painfully. You are both distressed and pity, and you are so happy that you are crying.I was deeply surprised by what you said when we were together last night.Although I have been tormented by the pain of not being able to get together all the time, deep down in my heart I hope that one day I will... It is this illusory longing that supports me to live to this day.So, when you said the most frightening thing openly, I seemed to be pushed under the precipice.No!I can no longer be separated from you, even if I die...you have to remember this. Wenzi "... Wenzi" Seeing the name at the end of the letter, Doi felt dizzy and numb.When Doi began to read the letter, he already had some premonitions in his mind, but he suspected that this woman was the wife of the president of Dongfang Development and Hisahiro, who had worked for a long time.Doi was taken aback when he saw the words "according to her husband's will, so I had no choice but to go to the electoral district". Seeing "Wenzi"'s signature, the truth became clear. The handwriting in the letter is rare among women, as good as a man's handwriting.Between the lines of these letters came the face of Mrs. Teranishi who had been seen in magazine photos.It was a gentle expression, with beautiful eyebrows and exquisite glasses in perfect harmony, and a pair of phoenix eyes full of love from behind the lenses.The two ends of the corners of her mouth were sunken with a smile, moving dimples appeared on her plump cheeks, and her slightly fatter body was tightly wrapped in a finely patterned kimono, making her look younger than her actual age.The lush forest background of Sixi Mansion makes her standing figure clearly stand out.The prudence and majesty, rationality and tolerance that are unique to a celebrity's wife are integrated in her.She is the one who will be the Prime Minister's wife this autumn. A secret love relationship between the master's wife and the secretary is not uncommon.But Doi never expected that such a thing would happen between Waipu Takuro and Mrs. Teranishi.He felt that the three-square-meter space that the bank rented out the safe room was full of storms.Doi couldn't settle down to continue reading the letter.Although his hands and body were as stiff as a rock, various thoughts were spinning violently in his mind. "How on earth did they get into this relationship?" Doi remembered something.Waipu's shorthand novel "A Midsummer Night's Dream" turned out to be the "commentary" to these letters.On Saturday evening the wife went to the hotel in Hakone, and the next Sunday the children went there.The politician's wife, who is usually very busy, wants to rest there alone even if it is a night, and her escort is Secretary Waipu.In order to comfort the escorted secretary, Madam asked him to have dinner and let him go back.As time passed, the relationship between the two became more harmonious.Wine was added to the table.All subsequent events are recorded in shorthand novels. At some point in the ashtray, a dozen half-smoked cigarettes had been extinguished.Doi calmed down and read the letter below. I think your mood will also be sad, your face has given everything away.No matter how you hide it in front of people, I can see it too. I even thought, throw everything away and die!Now as I write, I weep alone.The last time we met, your face was pale, and from your expression, I immediately felt that you were as distressed as I am. It is our destiny to strive desperately for the impossible. Grass at 3:30 in the morning Yesterday, I stood in that old spot from five minutes to one.Because I always stand in one place to avoid attracting others' attention, so I walk around within the range where I can see the agreed place, and sometimes pretend to buy something in front of the store.Twenty minutes have passed since the appointed time. I was planning to go back, but I was afraid of missing you, so I waited for nearly an hour.On the one hand, you are still worried about whether something is wrong with your body... After receiving the call just now, yesterday's full of resentment dissipated.Because I didn't know you spent so long asking about my husband's business.I wondered if you had a change of heart, I'm so sorry!Now I deeply feel the sadness of not being able to be together immediately.Looking forward to the day after tomorrow with pleasure! Please forgive me for the capricious words I said casually.When happiness fills my heart, I unknowingly say willful words that I would never have thought of.Because after all I am a woman.Even so, you endured without saying a word, just as in the past.In the past two years, I have repeatedly thought about one thing every day, telling myself to forget you as soon as possible, otherwise serious consequences will be incurred.However, it still can't be done!I love you so much, this feeling will never change. Tear up this letter immediately after reading it!do not forget. Wenzi From this Doi knew that their relationship had lasted for two years.That's when Waipu Zhuo Lang became the secretary of Sixi for a year and had a love relationship. I tossed and turned last night and couldn't sleep.Your words are churning in your chest and you can't stop it.Those words of parting threatened me.Is that what you mean?I just said it to save me.I feel that the moment has finally come, the time to say goodbye! But then I thought again, this is you testing my steadfastness!It must be like that, right?No matter what happens, I will never be separated from you! ... Please believe that although we are far away and cannot meet each other, I will love you forever and ever! —scribbled on a slip of paper. Go shopping at one o'clock tomorrow afternoon.Don't worry about the eyes of the driver, but it doesn't matter.Come to K at two o'clock, please.If I'm late, please wait for me, and I'll be there by 2:20 at the latest. —scribbled on a slip of paper. Sitting alone now.She knew she was sorry for her husband's guests, but she didn't want to receive them.Because I do it reluctantly, I am afraid that my displeasure will be revealed. Why are all the guests of politicians so rough.Here are Mr. O, Mr. K, Mr. N, Mr. I, and Mr. S.Just write the first letter, and you will know it.It's not bad for my husband to receive them now, but if I sit there for twenty minutes, I will be exhausted.Because of boring social talk. Next time I must bring my wife.In this way, the husband will be at ease, and he also likes this kind of interaction.It's fine, but if the wife doesn't come here for a long time and the atmosphere becomes unnatural, it's not good.You will understand my mood.It is sad to live alone in fear, but there is nothing to be done! Please come to K tomorrow at half past one, please.I took the time to write this and burn it right away. —scribbled on a slip of paper. It seems that "K" is the place where they meet, is it a coffee shop?Or what about hotels?Maybe it was a halfway stop before the two of them arrived at the hotel?She wrote this note "by chance", and "by chance" quickly and secretly handed it over to Wai Pu, who came to the house as a secretary.Waipu didn't tear up the letter, nor did he burn it, it was flattened with an iron and preserved.What kind of mental state made Waipu do this?For what purpose? My wife came to my house the day before yesterday, thank you very much, my husband is also very happy.This may be my subjective guess, it seems that the husband is at ease, and so is the wife. I'm a nasty woman who deceives those around me. ——If you hate me, please don't speak politely, don't stay silent, and tell me sternly!But don't speak of separation...: Thinking of what happened just now is just painful.Thinking that you are more distressed than me, I just want to cry. Perhaps it is for this reason that your complexion has been very bad recently.You pretended nothing happened in front of me, but you are actually in hell-like pain!If so, confide in me!One word you can say may ease your pain.I caused your pain, so I should share as much as I can! Wenzi There was the sound of two people approaching outside the door.Although he knew that no one would enter the room, Doi subconsciously covered the drawer with a note next to it.At this time, I heard the sound of opening the door of the next door. "Please take your time." From the next door came the female pilot's voice and the sound of leaving quietly, and heard the sound of moving the chair to open the small box and a violent cough.Doi removed the note from the cover. You often obey me silently, and the more you do this, the more uneasy you make me.A few days ago, when you came, you may have noticed that my words became mean, and that is a sign of restlessness.I am a woman after all, a shallow woman.Knowing my character, can you still maintain your love for me?Don't you think I'm a mean woman?If so, please speak up.I am a boring woman!Why did I become like this?I hate myself too!want to die! Forgive me for writing you such a letter not long ago.I don't know what happened to me, maybe something was abnormal at the time.One of the causes of hysteria is too many guests.Recently, guests have been flocking since five o'clock in the morning, and every room is full of people, just like a hotel.Soon it will be time to abdicate, so many self-recommended people and "ministerial candidates" recommended by others have come.It is said that the "Cabinet List" recommended by various factions has a total of more than 20 people.It appears that a race for rights has begun.The tense and noisy atmosphere at home has stimulated my nerves and caused hysteria. Please forgive me for treating you harshly. I already know what I did wrong. Please persuade your husband to let this kind of guests come to the office to talk as much as possible.I guess you have already said it, but my husband has that kind of temper, and it is not easy to accept your opinions. I understand your concubine's difficulties, but don't let you do everything alone. Let Mr. Zhongjiang, Mr. Kurahashi, and Shirai Mr. Shimomura and other old secretaries to share.Although they are all tired people with unclear minds.You should be more leisurely, or your body won't be able to bear it, next time we meet, I will take good care of you, do you understand what that means? When I arrived in Ginza, I entered the S store and saw a scarf.Although it is a bit out of season, I still sent it to your wife.I think the color is very suitable, if your wife likes it, I will be very happy. In the store, I saw Morabit's Osterridge large handbag, priced at one million yuan.When I mentioned this bag, I remembered the bad luck that Oribe Satoko encountered.You said that it was a young senator who presented the bag to Ms. Oribe, and it may be this senator who is really unlucky.He never imagined that his gift would be used in that way.I also find it a bit ridiculous. Later, I was surprised to hear that Ms. Oribe was robbed on the road. If the robber was arrested, the police would investigate because there was a huge amount of money in it, so I was always worried.However, there was no movement afterwards, so I was relieved.At that time, it was very appropriate for you to remind Ms. Oribe, and it was also right not to tell your husband about it. Could you please take me to Ms. Oribe's club?Not long ago, because I felt depressed, I went dancing with Secretary Kurahashi to a nightclub in Chiban.If we play openly like that, no one will suspect our relationship.Maybe it can't be hidden from the eyes of the expert Mrs. Oribe, that would be too scary.Forget it, don't go. Listen to you, your wife likes the scarf I gave, that's great, I'm relieved too. How long can I live in fear and lie to those around me?There will be a tragic end one day.I'm already mentally prepared, how about you?Because every time we meet, you keep silent.I still can't figure out your heart until now, sometimes I think I have firmly grasped your heart, but I am sad that whenever I am alone, this self-confidence is like sand falling from the fingers, but I will say nothing more.Because I think your excessive fatigue and pale face are the result of my blindly blaming you.Don't think too much about the present and the future! When I served my husband breakfast yesterday, my husband said that Mr. Waipu looked bad, what happened, which made me extremely nervous.My husband looked at my face and said, "Not long ago I asked him to go to the doctor, and he agreed, but he didn't seem to go. You should persuade me." I was nervous and panicked, thinking that my husband was testing our relationship, but I knew My husband really cares about you, and I feel sorry for him again. It has been more than ten days since I saw your face, and it seems that you are coming to my house less and less frequently.I know, you've been very busy recently, sometimes you can't leave the office, and sometimes you run around for your husband, but I'm too lonely, can you find an excuse to come to my house!Miss you, miss you very much, can't wait to see you soon! Come to K at three o'clock the day after tomorrow, will you?Don't mistake it for tomorrow.If I'm late, please wait for me... —scribbled on a slip of paper. It is eleven o'clock at night.My husband went to a banquet in Akasaka and hasn't come back yet.I am so happy today, what makes me happy is your spirit.You promised to go to the hospital soon, which also makes me very satisfied. Your recent appearance makes me uneasy!Are you really going to leave me?I will never leave you! There was a loud coughing sound from the next room, like a man entering old age. Doi put the letter in a large envelope, wrapped it in lacquer paper, put it in a steel safe and covered it. He rang the bell, unlocked the door, and Doi came out.The bank clerk came in. "Is it over?" "thank you." The director of the safe rental office stood up from his chair and nodded to Doi. Doi went outside, and the sun seemed to be brighter than usual.He got rid of the stuffy basement and walked back into the wide world with fresh air and vitality. "A secret that only I know!" This kind of thought gradually strengthened in Doi's mind.Doi wanted to leave the bank where the rental safes were kept as soon as possible.He subconsciously raised his hand towards the taxi. "Where are you going?" the driver asked. After getting into the car, Doi didn't know where he was going. He just wanted to find a quiet place for a walk, so he said casually: "To Sumida Park." "Sumida Park? Is it right in front of you!" The driver looked back while talking, and saw the guest with a pale face, sitting blankly in the car and thinking. In Doi's mind, the biographical materials of "The Great Man—Masaki Teranishi" sent by Shotaro Hataka, the secretary of Nishikori Senator, a confidant of Masaki Teranishi, appeared in Doi's mind. The wives of politicians, their personalities can often influence the growth of politicians themselves.The assistance of the chaste and cheerful Mrs. Wenzi is an important factor for Benji Nishi Masaki to achieve today's success...