Chapter 28 Chapter Seventeen (Part 2)

It's summer time, and Christmas is only two weeks away.And the roses in Drogheda were in full bloom.There were roses everywhere, pink, white, yellow, crimson like the blood in the breast, the scarlet surplice of the Cardinal of Asai.The roses were listless pink and white among the verdant wisterias, and the vines dangled from the porch ceiling, fell on the wire mesh, clung intimately to the black shutters of the second floor, stretched tendrils across them to the Sky.Now.The tank rack is covered up so it's almost invisible, as is the tank itself.There is a color everywhere in the rose.A pale pinkish gray.Is it rose grey?Yes, that's the name of this color.Must be Meggie, must be Meggie.

He heard Meggie's laughter, and he stood there impassively, filled with terror.Then he stepped in the direction of the sound, toward the melodious giggle.That's how she laughed when she was a little girl.right there!Over there, behind a large pink-gray rose bush in the pepper tree house.He plucked the blooming clusters with his hands, and the rich fragrance and the laughter made his head dizzy. But Meggie wasn't there, just a boy squatting on the green lawn, teasing a little pink pig.It was lumbering toward him, and he backed away quickly.Unaware of his audience, the kid shook his shiny head and laughed.Meggie's laugh came from that strange throat.Cardinal Ralph subconsciously let go of the rose branches and walked through them, not paying attention to the thorns on them.The boy was about 12 to 14 years old, and was on the eve of puberty.He looked up, startled; the pig screamed, curled its tail tightly, and fled away.

The lad was wearing nothing but a pair of khaki shorts, his feet were bare, and his skin was golden brown and smooth as satin.The slender, child-like body had vaguely seen a set of strong, broad shoulders, well-muscled calves and in-legs, a flat stomach, and narrow hips.His hair was a little long and curled in a mop like the faded grass of Drogheda, and his intense blue eyes flickered between strangely thick black lashes.It looked like a very young angel who had escaped from heaven. "Hello," said the kid, smiling. "Hello," said Cardinal Ralph, finding the charm of that smile irresistible. "who are you?"

"I'm Dane O'Neill," the boy replied. "Who are you?" "My name is Ralph de Brixarte." Dane O'Neill.He was Meggie's boy, then.She hadn't left Luke O'Neill at last, she had come back to him, and she had given birth to this handsome boy who might have been his if he hadn't sacrificed himself to the Church first.How old was he when he joined the church?Not much older than this kid.Not too mature yet.If he had waited, the child would almost certainly have been his.Stop talking nonsense, Cardinal de Bricassart!If you hadn't been united with the Church you'd have stayed in Ireland with horses and never known what was going to happen to you, never Drogheda or Meggie Cleary.

"Can I be of service to you?" the boy asked softly, with a light, graceful step that Ralph could recognize.He thought the gait was the same as Meggie's. "Dane, is your father here?" "My father?" The dark, slender eyebrows frowned. "No, he's not here. He's never been here." "Oh, I see. Is your mother here?" "She's gone to Gilly, but she'll be back in a little while. My grandma is home, though. Would you like to visit her? I can show you the way." Those eyes, as blue as chrysanthemums, stared at him, Open and squint when open. "Ralph de Bricassart. I have heard of you. Ah! Cardinal de Bricassart! Your Excellency, I am sorry! I did not mean to offend you."

Though he took off his clerical clothes and put on his favorite boots and breeches and white shirt, the ruby ​​ring was still on his finger, which he would never take off as long as he lived.Dane O'Neill knelt down and kissed that ring respectfully with his tender hand. "Well, Dane. I'm not Cardinal Debubexart here. I'm a friend of your mother and grandmother here." "Sorry sir, I should have recognized you when I heard your name. We say it a lot here. It's just that you pronounce it a little differently, and your Christian name confuses me. I know, mother It will be a great pleasure to see you."

"Dane, Dane, where are you?" cried an impatient voice; a voice so deep and so husky that it was mesmerizing. The low-hanging pepper branches are parted, and a girl of about fifteen bends down and straightens up again.He knew immediately who she was from those startling eyes.This is Meggie's daughter.Freckled, with a pointed face and small eyes and nose, she was nothing like Meggie, which was disappointing. "Oh, hello. I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a visitor. I'm Justine O'Neill." "Jusie, this is Cardinal de Bryasquet!" Dane whispered loudly. "Kiss his ring, quick!"

①Justine's nickname. -- Annotation Those pale eyes gleamed with contempt. "Dane, you're such a religious fan," she said without even trying to lower her voice. "It's unhygienic to kiss a ring: I don't like to kiss. Besides, how do we know this is Cardinal de Bricassart? I think he looks like an old-fashioned rancher. You know, like Go Mr Deng." "He is, he is!" Dane insisted. "Jusie, please be kind! Be nice to me!" "I'll be nice to you, but only to you. But I wouldn't kiss that ring, even for you. It's disgusting. How do I know who was the last to kiss it? They probably had a cold too." "

"You don't have to kiss my ring, Justine. I'm here on vacation: I'm not a cardinal just now!" "Well, because I'm going to tell you frankly that I'm an atheist," said Meggie Cleary's daughter calmly. "After four years at Kimkopal School, I think religion is a whole bunch of hoaxes." "That's your prerogative," said Bishop Ralph; trying to look as dignified and serious as she was. "May I go to your grandmother?" "Of course. Need us?" Justine asked. "No thanks. I know the way." "Okay." She turned to her brother, her eyes still on the visitor. "Come on, Dane, help me. Come on!"

But.Despite Justine's tug on his arm, Dane stayed and watched Cardinal Ralph's tall, erect figure disappear behind the rose bushes. "Dane, you're such a fool. What's so special about him?" "He's a cardinal!" said Dane. "Think about it! A living cardinal in Drogheda!" Justine said, "The cardinal is a powerful man in the Holy See, and I think you're right, and that's quite a thing. But, I don't like him." Where else would Fee be at her desk?He stepped through the windowed door and into the living room.These days, it is still necessary to open a barbed wire mesh.She must have heard his voice, but she went on working, her back bent, her lovely blond hair turning to silver.It took him a long time to remember that she must be a full seventy-two years old.

"Hello, Fee," he said. When she looked up, he noticed a change in her expression which he could not be sure of exactly what it meant; her expression remained the same cold, but there was something else in it as well.There seemed to be a softness and a toughness in her at the same time, becoming more human, but it was a Mary Carson kind of human.God, these Drogheda matriarchs!When it was Meggie's turn, would she do the same? "Hello, Ralph," she said, as if he walked through these doors every day. "Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you." "I didn't know you were in Australia." "Nobody knows. I'm on vacation for a few weeks." "I hope, you'll be with us?" "Where else to go?" His eyes flicked over the luxurious walls, stopping at the portrait of Mary Carson. "You know, Fee, that your taste is impeccable and unmistakable. This room rivals anything in the Vatican. Those black ovals with roses are a touch of genius." "Yo, thank you! We did our humble best. Personally, I love that dining room. I've refurbished it since the last time you were here. It's pink and white and green. Listen It sounds horrible, but you'll see it later. Though I don't know why I should try it. It's your house, isn't it?" "As long as there's a Cleary alive, no, Fee," he said quietly. "Reassuring. Well, you must have come a long way since leaving Gilly, haven't you? Did you see that article in the Herald about your promotion?" He flinched. "Look. You have a sharp mouth, Fee." "Yeah, and more importantly, I'm proud of it. I've kept my mouth shut all these years! I don't know what I'm missing." She smiled. "Meggie's in Gilly, but she'll be back in a minute." Dane and Justine came in through the windowed doors. "Grandma, can we ride to the spa?" "You know the rules. You're not allowed to ride unless your mother says so. I'm sorry, but it's mother's order. Where's all your manners? Come here. I'll introduce you to the guests." "I've met them." "Oh." "I thought you were at boarding school," he said to Dane, smiling. "Not in December, sir. We have two months off—summer vacation." The years had passed so far that he had forgotten that children in the southern hemisphere had a long holiday in December and January. "Your Excellency, are you planning to stay here for a long time?" Dane asked, still fascinated. "Your Excellency will stay with us as long as you can, Dane," said Grandmother. "But I think he'll find it a little tiresome to be called His Excellency all the time. What's a good one, Uncle Ralph?" "Uncle!" Justine yelled. "You know it's against family rules to be called uncle, Grandma! We only have Bob, Jack, Jens, and Patsy. So that means he should be called Ralph." "Don't be rude, Justine! Where's all your politeness?" Fee rebuked. "No, Fee, that's all right, and I'd like everybody to just call me Ralph, really," said the cardinal quickly.This queer little fellow, why does she hate me so much? "I'm not doing it!" Dane said angrily. "I can't just call you Ralph!" Cardinal Ralph crossed the room, clutching the bare shoulders with both hands, and smiling down, his blue eyes, so kindly, so vivid in the shadows of the room. "Of course you can, Dane. It's not a sin." "Come on, Dane, let's go back to the Little House," Justine ordered. Cardinal Ralph and his son turned to Fee and looked at her together. "I can't help it!" said Fee. "Go ahead, Dane, and play outside, okay?" She clapped her hands. "It's noisy!" The children ran off to play, and Fee turned slowly to her ledger.Cardinal Ralph took pity on her.Said he was going to the kitchen.How little has changed in this place!Obviously, the lighting is still the same.Still smells of beeswax and roses in a vase. He stayed there and had a long talk with Mrs. Smith and the maids.They had grown much older in the years since he had been gone, but for some reason their age seemed to match them better than Fee's.Fortunately, they are like this.Truly, almost flawless happiness.Poor Fee, she was unlucky.It made him anxious to see Meggie.See if she is happy. But when he left the kitchen, Meggie hadn't returned.So he walked across the yard towards the creek to pass the time.How peaceful the cemetery is; the six bronze panels on the mausoleum wall are exactly the same as when I was last here.He must see himself buried here, and he must make this order when he returns to Rome.Near the mausoleum he saw two new roses, one belonged to old Tom the gardener and the other belonged to the wife of a stockman who had been employed since 1945.The person must have contributed something.Mrs. Smith thought he would stay here with them; for here lay the wife.The Chinese cook's ancestral umbrella-shaped tomb has faded due to the harsh sunlight these years, from the majestic red that he remembered at the beginning to the current pink-white color, almost It is rose gray.Meggie, Meggie.You returned to him after me and bore him a son. The weather was unbearably hot; a gust of wind blew up the weeping willows by the small river, and the bell on the umbrella-shaped tomb of the Chinese chef was swayed, and a low and mournful sound was found. "Tankstand Charley, he's a good man." The handwriting was so faded it was practically illegible.Oh, the relative is right, the cemetery should sink into Mother Earth's breast.Withdrew from human life with the passage of time, until they disappeared completely, only Qingfeng remembered them and sighed for them.He did not want to be buried in the catacombs of the Vatican among people like himself.He would like to be buried here, among real people. He turned around, his gaze overlapping the grey-blue eyes of the marble angel.He raised a hand in greeting to it, and looked across the grass at the house again.Here she was, Meggie, slender and lively, wearing breeches and a man's inner shirt exactly like his, a man's gray felt hat pushed back, and tan boots.She is like a handsome young man, like her son, who should have been his son. He was a man, and when he lay here, there would be nothing alive to prove his existence. Here she came; over the white railing, coming nearer, he saw her eyes distinctly, those gray eyes still beautiful, those gray eyes of autumn water that held his heart.Her arms were around his neck, his friend was in his arms, as if he had never left her, and the mouth full of life was right under his mouth, it was not a dream, Sauvignon Blanc , Sauvignon Blanc.This is another sacred thing, as mysterious and unfathomable as the earth, and has nothing to do with heaven. "Meggie, Meggie," he said, his face in her hair, her hat on the grass; his arms around her. "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that, does it? Nothing has changed." She closed her eyes and said. "Yes, nothing has changed," he said, convinced of it. "This is Drogheda, Ralph. I warned you, in Drogheda you are mine, not God's." "I know. I admit it, but here I am." He pulled her down on the grass. "Why, Meggie?" "What why?" She ran her hands through her hair: it was whiter than Fee's now, still thick, still beautiful. "Why did you come back to Luke? Give him a son?" he asked jealously. Her soul could be seen through that bright, gray window, but good thoughts were hidden from him. "He forced me," she said softly. "Only once, but I got Dane; so I don't regret it. Dane is something I'd pay anything to get" "I'm sorry, I have no right to say that. I gave Dane the first place, didn't I?" "Yes, you did." "He's a wonderful kid. Does he look like Luke?" She was secretly happy, and suddenly lay down on the grass, put her hand into his shirt, and pressed it against his chest. "Not really. My kid looks neither like Luke nor much like me." "I love them because they are your children." "You're still as sentimental as ever. Age suits you, Ralph, I knew it would be like this, and I wished I'd had the chance to see you like this. I've known you for thirty years! It's like Only like 30 days." "30 years? Is it that long?" "I'm 41, honey, so that must be it." She straightened up. "I have sent you solemnly to come in. Mrs. Smith is serving good tea in your honor. It will cool down in a moment, and there will be a crackling pork leg." He walked slowly with her. "Your son laughed just like you, Meggie. His laugh was the first human voice I'd heard since I got to Drogheda. I thought it was you, and I went to look for you, but it was he." "So he's the first guy you see on Drogheda (Kolo)." "Well, yes, I think so." "What do you think of him, Ralph?" she asked anxiously. "I like him, he is your son, how can I not like it in this situation? However, I am deeply attracted to him, your daughter is not so attractive. She doesn't like me either ." "Speaking of which, Justine is my daughter, but she is a woman with a bad temper. I can learn to swear at my age, which is largely thanks to Justine. And your influence, a little , a little bit of Luke's, and a little bit of the war thing, how fun it would be to play it all together." "Meggie, you've grown a lot." "Me?" The soft and plump mouth curved and smiled. "I don't think so, really. It's just that the Northwest bores me, like Salome takes off seven veils, strips away all pretense. Or like peeling an onion, Justine." That's how I like to describe it. There's no poetry in that kid. I'm the same Meggie I used to be, Ralph, only more naked." ①See "The Gospel of Matthew in the Bible", Salome is the niece of King Herod. -- Annotation "Maybe so." "Oh, but you've changed, Ralph." "What kind of change, my Meggie?" "Like a venerable statue that's been chipping away, it's a disappointment from the top down." "Yes." He laughed dumbfounded. "Come to think of it, I said flippantly once that you wouldn't have anything extraordinary. I take that back. You're still the same woman, Meggie. Same!" "What happened to you?" "I don't know. Have I ever found out that the idols of the church are made of mud? Have I sold myself and paid a high spiritual price for material benefits? Am I empty-handed and have nothing?" He frowned, as if it's painful. "In a word, maybe that's it. I'm a bunch of stale stuff. The Vatican world is an old, sour, dead world." "I'm more realistic, and you didn't understand at all back then." "True, I was helpless. I knew where I should be, but I couldn't. I might have been a good man with you, though not so grand. But I just couldn't, Meggie. Oh, how I wish I could make you understand!" Her hand stalked his bare arm, very lightly. "My dear Ralph, I know this. I know, I know... There is something in each of us that we don't want to let go, even if it makes us suffer and kill us. We are what we are, that's all, Like the old Celtic legend of the bird with the thorn in its breast, weeping blood, vomiting up its bloody heart and dying. Because it had to, it was forced to. Some things know how to do It doesn't work, but we're going to do it anyway. But knowing it doesn't affect or change the outcome, can it? Everyone's singing their own little tune, and I'm sure it's the sweetest thing the world has ever heard voice. Don't you understand? We make our own thorn bushes and never stop to count the cost. All we do is take the pain and tell ourselves it's worth it." "This is pain that I don't understand." He glanced down at her hand, which was touching his arm so tenderly that he felt an unbearable pain. "Why the pain, Meggie?" "Ask God, Ralph," said Meggie. "He has the power to sow pain, right? He created us. He created the whole world. Therefore, he also created pain." Bob, Jack, Hughie, Jens and Patsy came back for dinner because it was Saturday night.Tomorrow, Father Wattie was scheduled to come to Mass, but Bob called him and said no one would be going to Mass.It was a harmless lie, made to keep wind of Cardinal Ralph out.These five Cleary boys were more Paddy than ever, older and slower in their speech, as durable as the earth.How much they love Dane!Their eyes didn't seem to leave him for a moment, and even when he went to sleep, they watched him from this room.It was good to see them living together, waiting for the day when he would be old enough to run around Drogheda with them. Cardinal Ralph discovers the reason for Justine's hostility, Dane is fascinated by him, longs to hear him talk, always clings to his side; Justine is terribly jealous. After the boy had gone upstairs, he looked at those left behind: the brothers, Meggie, Fee. "Get away from your desk for a while, Fee," he said. "Come here and sit with us. I want to talk to you all." She still maintains herself very well, and her figure has not changed, except that her breasts have loosened up and her waist has gained a little fat; the actual weight gain has not destroyed the figure of old age.She sat down in silence on a large cream chair opposite the cardinal, with Meggie on one side of her, and the brothers sitting next to each other on a stone bench. "It's about Frank," he said. The name floated among them, like a distant accent. "How's Frank?" Fee asked calmly. Meggie left her knitting and looked at her mother, then at Cardinal Ralph. "Tell us, Ralph," she said quickly, unable to bear her mother's composure any longer. "Frank has served almost 30 years in a prison, do you think about that?" asked the cardinal. "I know my people have been tipping you off as arranged, and I ask them not to upset you unduly. I honestly don't know how to handle Frank better, or what you've heard from him." details of loneliness and despair, because there is nothing we can do about it. Since he was free from violence and half-hearted in Goulburn prison, I thought he had been released some years ago, but as late as this There was a war, and when some prisoners were released to serve in the army, poor Frank still refused to be released." Fee glanced up from her hand. "That's his temper," she said quietly. The cardinal seemed to be having trouble finding the right words; and as he mused, the whole family looked at him with a mix of fear and hope, though Frank's interests were not their concern. "It must have puzzled you why I came back to Australia after all this time," said Cardinal Ralph at last, not looking at Meggie. "I don't always have your lives in mind, I know that. From the day I knew you, I have always thought of myself and put me first. When the pope returns with the vestment of a cardinal In my toil as a representative of the Holy See, I asked myself if I could be of service to the Clearys. In a way, doing so would show them how much I care about them." He sucked in one breath.The eyes were on Fee, not on Meggie. "I'm going back to Australia to see what I can do with the Frank thing. Do you remember that conversation I had with you after Paddy and Stu died, Fee? That was 20 years ago, I I can't forget the look in your eyes at that time. The vitality and vitality are gone." "Yes," said Bob abruptly, his eyes fixed on his mother. "Yes, that's what happened." "Frank is going to be paroled," the cardinal said. "It's the only thing I can do to express my sincere concern." If he had expected to see a sudden sparkle in Fee's dark eyes, he would have been disappointed; at first there was only a twinkle in those eyes, and perhaps the wear and tear of age had in fact never Those eyes sparkled.But he saw a look of real importance in the eyes of Fee's sons, which made him feel the meaning of his actions.It was a feeling I hadn't felt since the war talking to that young German soldier with the haunting name. "Thank you," Fee said. "Do you welcome him back to Drogheda?" he asked the Cleary men. "This is his home, where he should be." Bob said simply and clearly. Everyone nodded except Fee, who seemed to be alone in a fantasy. "He's not the same Frank he used to be," Cardinal Ralph continued mildly. "Before I came here, I met him at Goulburn Gaol and told him the news. I also told him that the people of Drogheda have always been well aware of what happened to him. If I told you, he would If you don't take this news too hard, you can perhaps imagine the change in him. He's just... very happy. Looking forward to seeing the family again, especially you, Fee." "When will he be released?" Bob asked, clearing his throat.He rejoiced in his mother's apparent ambivalence about seeing Frank back. "In a week or two. He's coming by the night mail. I'd like him to take the air, but he says he'd like to take the train." "Me and Patsy are going to get him," Jens said eagerly, but then his face dropped again. "Oh! We don't know what he looks like!" "No," said Fee. "I'll get him myself, and I'll go alone."I'm not old enough to drive myself. " "Mommy was right," said Meggie firmly, cutting off the brothers' chorus of disapproval. "Let Mommy go, she should be the first to see him." " "Well, I've got work to do," said Fee stiffly, and she got up and went to the desk. The five brothers stood up together, "I think it's time to go to bed." Bob said with painstaking yawn.He smiled shyly at Cardinal Ralph. "As usual, you will give us Mass in the morning." Meggie folded her knitting, set it aside, and stood up. "I'll say good night to you too, Ralph." "Good night, Meggie." He watched her out of the room, then turned and bowed to Fee. "Good night, Fee." "What did you say, did you say something?" "I say good night." "Oh! Good night, Ralph." He didn't want to be upstairs when Meggie had just come up. "Go for a walk before bed, I suppose. Do you know something, Fee?" "I don't know." Her voice was indifferent. "You can't fool me for a minute." She laughed, unease in her voice. "Really? I don't know what." The night is dark and the stars are empty.The stars in the southern hemisphere slowly turned across the sky.He had lost his obsession with them forever, and although they were still in the sky, thousands of miles away, they were not warming, indifferent, or consoling.God is nearer, elusively between man and the stars.He stood there for a long time, looked up, listened to the sound of the wind wandering in the woods, and smiled rustlingly. He didn't want to go near Fee.He was standing on the stairs at the end of the house.The lamp on her desk was still on, and she could be seen bent over in profile, working.Poor Fee.She must have been too timid to go to bed.Although Frank might be better when he gets back.Maybe. At the top of the stairs was a marvelous beauty, and on a high narrow table stood a crystal glass lamp, casting a vague halo of light to the comfort of the nocturnal wanderer.The night wind flapped the curtains on the window by the table, and the lights flickered.He walked past the lamp, and his footsteps landed on the thick carpet without making a sound. Meggie's door was wide open, and a flood of light poured in from within; his body blocked the light, and after a moment he closed the door behind him and locked it.She was wearing a baggy pajamas.Sitting in a chair by the window, she looked out at the invisible enclosure; but when he made his way to the bed, and sat down by it, she turned and looked at him.She stood up slowly and walked towards him. "Hey, let me take your boots off for you. That's why I never wear high-waisted shoes. I can't get them off without a shoehorn, but a shoehorn ruins a good boot." "Meggie, did you mean to wear that color?" "Rose grey?" She smiled. "This has always been my go-to color. It doesn't ruin the tone of my hair." When he pulled one boot off, he put that foot on her back.Then, it was placed on her bare feet again. "Are you that sure I'm coming to you, Meggie?" "I told you. On Drogheda, you're mine. If you don't come to me, I'll come to you, yes." She pulled his shirt off his head for a moment At the same time, her hand was placed on his naked back very sensitively.Then she went to the lamp and turned it out while he threw his clothes over the back of the chair.He could hear her moving, taking off her pajamas.Tomorrow morning, I will also say Mass.But that would be tomorrow morning, and the magic of Mass would have long since ceased to exist.It was still Night and Meggie here.I used to want her.She is also a divine thing. Dane was disappointed. "Thought you would wear a red vestment!" he said. "I do sometimes, Dane, but only inside the palace walls. Outside the palace walls, I wear a black cassock with a belt, like this one." "Do you really have a palace?" "yes." "It's full of school-shaped chandeliers?" "Yes, but so is Drogheda." "Oh, Drogheda!" said Dane in disgust. "I bet our chandeliers are smaller than yours. I'd love to see your palace and you in your scarlet vestment." Cardinal Ralph smiled. "Who knows, Dane? Maybe you'll see it someday." There was a strange expression in the back of the child's eyes; an expression of indifference.When Dane turned his back during Mass, Cardinal Ralph saw it more clearly, but he didn't know what it was, only that it seemed familiar.No man, no woman, ever sees himself in the mirror. Rudy and Annie came for Christmas as expected, and they did every year, and the mansion was full of carefree people, looking forward to the happiest Christmas in years, while Minnie and Kate went to work , drinking in a nonchalant manner; Mrs. Smith's chubby face was smiling, and May let Dane pester Cardinal Ralph without saying a word; Fee seemed much happier and less energetic. glued to the desk.Every night the men took advantage of the first excuse to run back, for after dinner the drawing-room was full of conversation and Mrs. Smith was preparing a bedtime snack: cheese spread on toast, scones with warm brioche and raisin scones.Cardinal Ralph protested that so much good food would make him fat, but after three days of breathing Drogheda air, three days with Drogheda people, and eating three Drogheda meals , the haggard face he had when he first came seemed to have disappeared. On the fourth day, the weather became very hot.Cardinal Ralph and Dane were out to fetch a flock of sheep, Justine sulking alone under the pepper tree, and Meggie lounging in a padded cane armchair on the porch.She felt her bones softened and relaxed, and she felt very happy.A woman can get along just fine without it in years of intense life, but it's beautiful when it's a man.When she was with Ralph, every part of her came alive except the part that belonged to Dane; Every part of her except that part was alive.只有他们俩同时存在于她的生活中时，就像现在这样，她才感到十足的圆满。哦，这是自有道理的。戴恩是她的儿子，而拉尔夫是她的男人。 但有一件事使她的幸福美中不足，拉尔夫没有看出来。于是，她对她的秘密缄口不言。他自己瞧不出来，她为什么要告诉他呢？他凭什么让她说出个中底细？有那么一阵儿，他居然会认为她是心甘情愿地回到卢克的身边，这真是一个沉重的打击。倘若他把她看成这种人的话，那就不应该告诉他。有时，她感觉得到菲那双失色而嘲讽的眼光在她身上转；她就转过头去，泰然自若。菲是理解的，非常理解。她理解这种半怨半恨，理解这种不满，理解这种向孤独凄凉的年月进行报复愿望。徒劳地追逐绚丽缤纷的彩虹，那彩虹就是拉尔夫·德·布里克萨特；她为什么要把他的儿子交给他这个中看而不可得的彩虹呢？剥奔他的这个权利吧。让他受折磨，而又永远不知道自己在受着折磨吧。 代表德罗海达的电话铃响了起来，梅吉漫不经心的听着，随后便想到她母亲一定是到别的什么地方去了。她不情愿地站了起来，走过去接电话。 "请找菲奥娜·克利里太太。"一个男人的声音说道。 梅吉喊了一声菲，她转过身来，接过话筒。 "我是菲奥娜·克利里，"她说道。当她站在那里听电话的时候，脸上的颜色渐渐褪去，看上去就像帕迪和斯图死后那几天的样子：显得瘦小，脆弱。"谢谢你。"她说着，挂上了电话。 "怎么了，妈？" "弗兰克已经被释放了。乘今天下午的晚班邮车到达。"她看了看表。"我必须赶快去；已经过2点钟了。" "我和你一起去吧。"梅吉提议道。当她自己心中充满幸福的时候，不忍看到母亲灰心丧气。她明白，对菲来说，这次会面不纯然是快乐。 "不，梅吉，我会很好的。你照顾一下这里的事情，把饭留到我回来。" "这难道不是大好事吗，妈？弗兰克正好赶上圣诞节回家！" "是的，"菲说道。"好极了。" 人们若能乘飞机的话，谁都不会坐晚班邮车的，因此，当火七喷着气从悉尼面来的时候，沿途小镇下来的大部分都是二等铺的旅客，有几个人一到基里就呕吐了起来。 站长和克利里太太有点头之交，但是决不敢梦想和她攀谈，因此，他只是看着她从过顶的天桥上沿着木台级走下来，任她独自直直地站在那高高的站台上。她是个漂亮的老太太，他想道；穿着时髦的衣服，戴着时髦的帽子，还蹬着高跟鞋呢。身条真不赖，对一个老太太来说，她脸上的皱纹委实不算多；这足以说明牧场主那种舒心的日子对一个女人，会起什么样的作用。 弗兰克也是从母亲的脸上认出她来的，而他母亲认他则没这么快，尽管她的心马上就认出了他。他已经51岁了，他不在的这几年正是使他从青年过渡到中年的几年。站在基里的夕照中的这个男人非常瘦，几乎是形容柏槁，苍白之极；他的头发剃掉了一半，那透出力量的矮小的身体上穿着一件走了样的衣服，形状很好看的捏着一顶灰毯的帽檐。他背不弯腰不驼，也不显病态，但却不知如何好地站在那里，两手扭着帽了，似乎既不盼望着有人来接他，也不知下一步应该怎么办。 菲控制着自己，快步走下了月台。 "哈罗，弗兰克。"她说道。 他抬起了那双曾经灼灼有光的眼睛，落在了一个上了年纪的女人的脸上。那完全不是弗兰克的眼睛了，枯涩、有耐性、极其疲备。但是，当那双眼睛看到菲的时候，一种非同寻常的表情在其中闪动着，这是一种受伤的、毫无自卫能力的眼光，一种即将死去的人哀诉似的眼光。 "哦，弗兰克，"她说着，便把他搂在了怀里，摇动着那放在她肩膀上的头。"好啦，好啦。"她低低地、依然十分柔和地说道，"一切都好啦！" 起初，他萎靡不振，默默无言地坐在汽车里，但是，当罗尔斯加快速度开出市镇的时候，他开始对周围的环境产生兴趣了，看着车窗的外面。 "看上去还是老样子。"他喃喃地说道。 "我想是这样的吧。时间在这里过得很慢。" 他们轰轰地开着车，从狭窄面又混浊的河面上的木板桥上开了过去；两岸垂柳依依。满是盘结的树根和砾石的河床大部分都露了出来，形成了平静的、棕色的水在乱石嶙峋的干河滩上到处都长着桉树。 "巴温河，"他说道。"没想到今生还能见到它。" 他们的后面扬起一大团土雾，他们的前面笔直的道路就象伸进了一幅透视图一样，跨过了缺少树木、绿草茵茵的大平原。 "妈，这条路是新修的吧？"他似乎竭力在找活说，使局面显得正常起来。 "是的，战争结束，他们就从基里到米尔帕林卡铺起了这条路。" "他们也许就铺上了一点儿柏油，却还是留下了旧有的尘土。" "有什么用呢？我们已经习惯吃尘土了，认为把路弄得能够抗住泥浆，这样做花费太太。新路是笔直的，他们把路面筑平了，这条路省去了我们27个大门中的13个。在基里和庄园之间只有14道门了，你等着看我们怎样对付这些门吧，弗兰克。用不着把这些门开开关关了。" 罗尔斯爬上了一道斜坡，向着一道懒洋洋的升起来的铁门开去，汽车刚刚从门下钻过，它便沿着滑轨下降了几码，大门自己关上了。 "真是让人惊讶！"弗兰克说道。 "咱们是附近第一家安装了自动斜坡门的牧场--当然，只装在米尔帕林的庄园之间。其他转场的门还得手工开关。" "唔，我估计发明这种大门的那个家伙一辈子一定开关了许多门，是吗？"弗兰克露齿一笑；这是他第一次露出笑容。 可是，他随后又陷入了沉默之中。于是他母亲便集中精力开车，不愿意过快地逼他说话，当他们钻过最后一道门，进入家内圈地的时候，他喘了起来。 "我已经忘记它有多可爱了。"他说。 "这就是家，"菲说道。"我们一直照料着它。" 她把罗尔斯开进了车库，随后和他一起走回了大宅，只是在这时，他的箱子仍由他自己提着。 "弗兰克，你是愿意在大宅里占一个房间，还是愿意单独住在客房？"他母亲问道。 "我住客房，谢谢。"那枯涩的眼睛停在了她的脸上。"还是和人们分开好。"他解释道。这是他唯一的一次涉及监狱的环境。 "我想，这样对你要好些。"她说道，带着他向自己的客厅走去。"眼下大宅住得挺满，因为红衣主教在这里。戴恩和朱丝婷在家，路迪和安妮·穆勒后天到这里来过圣诞节。"她拉了拉铃要茶，很快地在房间里走着，点上了煤油灯。 "路迪和安妮·穆勒？"他问道。 她停下了剔灯心的动作，望着他。"弗兰克，说来话长啦。穆勒夫妇是梅吉的朋友。"灯调整到了她满意的程度，她坐在高背椅中。"我们在一个小时之内开饭，不过咱们先喝杯茶吧。我要把路上的尘土从嘴里洗掉。" 弗兰克笨拙地坐在了一个乳白绸面的矮登的边上，敬畏地望着这间屋了。"这屋子和玛丽姑妈那时候不大一样了。" 菲微微一笑。"哦，我想是的。"他说道。 At this time.梅吉走了进来，看到梅吉已经长成一个成年妇女比看到母亲受老更令人难以接受。当妹妹紧紧的拥抱着他，吻他的时候，他转开了脸，松垂如袋的衣服和身体畏缩着，眼睛越过她找寻着他的母亲。母亲坐在那里望着他，好象在说：没啥关系，不久一切都会正常的，只要过一段时间就行了。过了一会儿，正当他还在那搜肠刮肚地想对这个陌生人说些什么的时候，梅吉的女儿进来了。她是一个身材修长、清瘦的年轻姑娘；她拘谨地坐在那里，一双手捏着衣服上的衣褶，那双浅色的眼睛从一个人的脸上转到另一个人的脸上。梅吉的儿子和红衣主教一起进来了，他走过去坐在姐姐身旁的地板上，这是一个漂亮、平静而冷淡的少年。 "弗兰克，这太好了。"拉尔夫红衣主教说着，和他握了握手，随后转向菲，一场左眉。"喝杯茶好吗？好主意。" 克利里家的男人一起走了进来，空气是很紧张的，因为他们根本没有宽恕他，弗兰克知道这是为什么；这是因为他当年使他们的母亲伤心的那种行径。可是，他不知道说些什么才能使他们有所理解。他既无法向他们倾诉他的痛苦和孤寂，也不会恳求宽恕。唯一真正关键的人是他的母亲，而他从未想到有什么可让她宽恕的。 今天晚上一直在竭力打圆场的是红衣主教，在晚餐桌上他引着话题；饭罢回到客厅里以后，他带着一种自如的外交风度聊着天，有意把弗兰克扯在一起。 "鲍勃，我一到这儿就想问你--兔子都到什么地方去了？"红衣主教问道。"我看到了无数的兔子洞，可是一只兔子也没有。" "兔子都死啦。"鲍勃答道。 "死了？" "是啊，是因为得了一种叫什么粘液肿瘤的病。到1947年的时候，因为兔子和连年大旱，作为初级产品生产国的澳大利亚几乎完蛋了。我们都绝望了。"鲍勃说道。他热烈地谈着他的话题。很高兴能讨论一些把弗兰克排除在外的事。 在一点上，弗兰克很不明智地发挥了和他大弟弟不一致的看法。"我知道情况很糟，但还不至于糟到那种地步。"他坐了回去，希望他对这次讨论尽自己的一份力量能使红衣主教感到高兴。 "哦，我并没有言过其实，相信我的话！"鲍勃刻薄地说道；弗兰克怎么会知道呢？ "发生了些什么事？"红衣主教很快问道。 "前年，联邦科学和工业研究组织在维多利亚州进行了一项实验，用他们培育出来的这种病毒使兔了得了传染病。我不能肯定这是一种什么样的病毒，只知道是一种微生物。反正他们管这种东西叫一种会么样的病毒。起初，这种病毒的传播似乎不太理想，尽管兔子染了它就丧命，可是大约一年之后，这场试验性的传染就像野火一样传播开了，他们认为蚊子是载体，但是和藏红色蓟草也有关系，从那时候起，兔子上百万上百万地死去了。它们被一扫而空。有的，你会看到几只病歪歪的免子，脸上都是肿块，难看透顶。但这是一项了不起的工作，拉尔夫，真的。其他的动物都没有得粘液肿瘤病，甚至连种属相近的动物都没得。多亏了联邦科学与工业研究组织的那些人，兔子再也不能成灾了。" 拉尔夫红衣主教望着弗兰克。"弗兰克，你知道这是怎么回事吗？知道吗？" 可怜的弗兰克摇了摇头。希望大家能让他不起眼地退在一边。 "这是大规模生物战。我不知道世界上其他的人是否知道，就在这里，在澳大利亚，从1949年到1952年对数不清的兔子进行了一场病毒战，并且成功地消灭了它们。哦！这是对头的，是吗？这完全不是耸人听闻的新闻报道，而是科学的事实，他们还是把他们的原子弹和氢弹埋掉的好，我知道不得不进行这场生物战，这是绝对必要的，也许这项重要的科学成就还没有得到全世界的赞扬。但这也是非常可怕的。" 戴恩一直竖着耳朵听着这场谈话。"生物战，我从来没听说过。到底是怎么回事，拉尔夫？" "这是一个新词，戴恩。但我是一个教皇的外交家，可悲的是我不得不与生物战这样的词汇打交道。一句话，这个词就意味着粘液性肿瘤病。培养出一种可杀死重创一种生物的病毒。" 戴恩有些下意识地划了一个十字，又靠在了拉尔夫·德·布里萨特的膝头上。"我们最好祈祷，对吗？" 红衣主教低头看着他那漂亮的头，微笑着， 多亏了菲，弗兰克才终于完全适应了德罗海达的生活，尽管克利里家的男人态度生硬，可她如若无其事，好象她的长子只是短短地离开了一段时间，从来没有使这个家庭蒙羞受辱，或深深地伤过他母亲的心似的。她悄悄地、不引人注目地把他送到他似乎想占用的小房子里，离开了她其他的儿子；她并没有鼓励他把往日的那种活力重新振作起来。因为那一切已经都是昨日黄花了；当她在基里车站的月台上看到他的那一刹那，她就明白，那一切已经被一种他拒绝的她详述的生活所吞噬了。她能为他做到的最好的事，就是使他尽可能幸福，毫无疑问，做到这一步的途径就是象接受往日的弗兰克那样接受现在的弗兰克。 不存在着让他到围场去干活的问题，因为他的弟弟既不需要他，他也不想去过那种他一直厌恶的生活。看到那些蓬勃生长的东西，使他感到高兴。因此，菲就让他在大宅的花园里干些闲事，使他得到宁静。对弗兰克回到家庭中间，克利里家的男人逐渐习惯起来了，开始明白，以前曾在弗兰克身上存在的那种对他们利益的威胁已不复存在。一切都不能改变他们的母亲对他的感情，不管他是在监狱抑或是在德罗海达，都没有关系；她对他的感情都是不变的。重要的事情是，让他留在德罗海达会使他感到快活。他没有干扰他们的生活，和往日一样。 然而对菲来说，弗兰克重返家中并不是一种快乐；这又能怎么样呢？每天看到他和根本见不到他只不过是一种不同的哀伤罢了。不得不眼巴巴地看着一种被毁灭的生活和一个被毁灭的人是令人悲痛欲绝，这人是她最钟爱的儿子。而他一定是在忍受着她所无法想象的痛苦。 弗兰克回家六个月之后的一天，梅吉走进了客厅，发现她母亲坐在那里，透过高大的窗户望着正在修剪着沿车道的一大排玫瑰花的弗兰克，她转过身来，那故作镇定的脸上带着某种表情，使梅吉双手捂在心口上。 "唔，妈！"她不知如何是好地说道。 菲望着她，摇了摇头，微笑着。"没什么，梅吉。"她说道。 "要是我能尽点力就好了！" "能。只要保持你往日的样子就行了。我很高兴，你已经成为我的助手了。"