Chapter 39 Text Section 39: Winter (9)

Text Section 39: Winter (9) "If you don't take it, I will give it to you." "But I don't want to." Yinzi listened, opened his eyes and smiled. "Yinzi." "What are you doing?" "Can I go down like this?" Yinzi didn't answer.She looked at me quietly, like a painting, from face to shoulders to chest to feet, scanning my whole body in turn, wherever her eyes went, it seemed to be dyed with a layer of light color. I asked the same question again. "I don't know." Yinzi smiled quietly, turned over, and lay with her back facing me.

"Yinzi, the outside world is cruel, right? People like me will soon degenerate, right?" "There is no distinction between the inside and the outside. There is only one world." Yinzi said decisively.It was the first time I saw Yinzi who spoke so decisively.I recalled this sentence over and over again in my mind, and I felt more and more ignorant and weak. "Hey, will you hang up my picture when I'm gone?" "You're not a cat." "Hang it up." "It's not dead, so I can't hang up." "But, if you don't hang up, you should forget about me."

"Memories are not in pictures." Yinzi pulled up the quilt, covering half of her face. I went back to my room without checking whether she was asleep or not.I dumped all the things in the shoe box on the quilt, sat on the chair and looked at them dreamily.Well, that's it, I pushed the chair to the wall, stood up, held the shoe box in my right hand, and stuffed the contents into the back of Cherokee's mirror frames one by one.Sports caps, floral headbands, red ballpoint pens, hair, cigarettes, Rendan, everything. I unpacked all the empty shoe boxes, stacked them, tied them up, threw them on the scrap newspapers in the kitchen, leaned against the sink, and looked into the living room opposite the kitchen: leaving here is the same as coming here , no real feeling.

I got the plum wine from under the floor, drank three glasses and fell asleep.Before falling asleep, with the vibration of the window, I heard the sound of a tram entering the platform. greet spring When I walked out the gate, I always felt like I forgot something.Now I don't need to say "I'm leaving" or "I'm back", and it's no wonder that I didn't say it when I lived with Yinzi. It was only when I was living alone that I began to realize this. I wake up every morning, first drink a cup of cold boiled water from the kettle, then wash my face, bake bread, get dressed and put on makeup to go to work in the company.This is repeated every day.When washing things in the kitchen, I often meet the four Miffys on the slippers.I like to cover the rest of the dish with a plate instead of plastic wrap.The dried cooked sardine soup doesn't taste good no matter how many times you cook it.

At night, I felt more and more lonely, and when I couldn't stand it, I thought of writing to Yinzi.However, every time I only wrote "Dear Sir, Ms. Ogino Ginko", I couldn't write any more.I really couldn't think of any decent words, so I just drew black spots and yellow hairs on a corner of the letter paper to make me feel better. A girl of the same age lived next door.After work on Wednesday, I often go to the movies with her.She works in another department, and when we clean up in the morning, we often borrow rags from each other, and things get better.I have lunch with Ando at noon, and sometimes I go drinking with my colleagues in the same department after get off work.People in one office call me "Little Sanda".

While waiting for the copy, Sasaki from the sales department at the front greeted me and said, "Hey, Mita, have you taken off your glasses?" "Yes, pick it up." "You look good in glasses." "Spring is coming soon." "Hey, spring love is sprouting." "yes." In this way, I keep changing the people I know, and I keep putting myself among people I don't know.I am neither pessimistic nor optimistic, I just open my eyes every morning to welcome a new day, and try my best to live alone.