Chapter 12 Chapter Ten (2)

He retreated from her, knelt beside her for a while, kissed the inside of her legs, pulled down her skirt, and then buttoned his own clothes without thinking in the faint laser light , didn't even turn around. "You must come to the cottage some day," he said, looking at her at ease, eagerly. But she lay there lifeless, thinking, looking at him, stranger!stranger!She even felt a little resentful towards him. He put on his coat, found his cap which had fallen on the ground, and slung the gun over his shoulder. "Come on!" he said, looking at her with his warm, gentle eyes.

She stood up slowly, she didn't want to leave; but she didn't want to stay.He helped her put on her thin raincoat and checked to see if she was all dressed up. Then he opened the door, and it was very dark outside.The dog sitting under the porch saw him and stood up happily, and the drizzle fell grayly in the dark.It was very dark. "I have to take the lantern," he said, "there will be no one." In the narrow path, he walked in front of her, swinging the lantern low, shining on the wet grass and snake-like light on the ground The roots of the trees, the pale flowers, and everything else is ashen rain and darkness.

"You have to come to the cottage some day," he said. "Will you come? Anyway, goats and lambs are alike." She was amazed by his strange desire to tell her, and there was nothing between them, and he had never really spoken to her, and she could not help loathing his vernacular, his The vulgar words of "you have to come" seem to be addressed not to her, but to any ordinary person. She saw the leaves of finger flowers on the road, and she knew where they were going. . "It's a quarter past seven," he said, "you'll be back in time for dinner." His tone changed as if he sensed her distance.He blew out the lamp when they turned the last turn in the road, towards the hazel hedge and garden gate.He gently held her arm and said, "Okay, here we can see."

But, having said that, it's not easy.The ground on which they tread is mysterious.But he is used to it, and he can feel his way.When he reached the garden gate, he handed her his torch, and said, "The garden is bright; but take this, lest you go astray." Indeed, in the empty garden there was a ghostly glow of a gray star, and suddenly he pulled her towards her and stroked again under her dress, his wet and cold hand touching the to her warm body. "To touch a woman like you, I am willing to die!" said in a hoarse voice, if you can stop for a while..." She felt the sudden heat of his renewed desire for her.

"No! I must hurry back!" she said a little frantically. "Okay." He said, his attitude changed suddenly, and he asked her to go away. She was about to go away, but she immediately turned to him and said, "Kiss me." In the dark, he bent over and kissed her left eye.She raised her lips to him, and he kissed it lightly, then retracted immediately, he didn't like kissing on the mouth. "I'll come back tomorrow," he said, walking away, "if I can," she added. "Yes, but don't come so late," he replied in the dark.She had completely lost sight of him.

"Good night," she said. "Good night, baroness," his voice answered. She stopped and looked back into the dank darkness.In this night, she could only see his shadow. "Why do you call me that?" she said. "Well, no more," he answered. "Good-night, then, and let's go!" She disappeared in the twilight of night, she saw the side door open, she slipped in, till she was in her room, and was not seen, and the supper gong was ringing when her door was rattled, Still, she was determined to take a bath—she had to. "But I won't be late any more," she said to herself, "it's too annoying."

The next day she did not go into the woods.She accompanied Clifford to Ashway.He can sometimes go out by car now, and he employs a young and strong coachman when needed.The coachman can help him get out of the car.He specially went to see his godfather Lai Sri Vinda.Wenda Jia in the Hebrew mansion near Aswei, a wealthy old gentleman, one of the many wealthy coal mine owners who prospered in the days of King Edward, who came to Hebrew for hunting After a few times, this is a beautiful old mansion with walls, and the furnishings inside are very beautiful. Because Wenda is a single person, he is very proud of the clean and elegant arrangement of his home, but, This building is surrounded by many coal mines.Wenda cared about Clifford, but because of his literary works and his picture published in pictorials, he personally didn't have much respect for him.The old gentleman was a dandy of the King Edwardian kind, who thought life was life, and shoddy writers were another, and with Connie the squire was always courteous.He thought her virginal, correct, and attractive, that she had done nothing for Clifford, and that it was a great pity that her fate should not produce an heir to Wragby, but he himself There is no heir either.

Connie wondered to herself, what would he think if he knew that the Clipper's gamekeeper had had an affair with her, if he had learned that the gamekeeper had said to her in the vernacular, "You must come to the cottage that day"?He must hate her, despise her, because he pretty much hates the working-class forward, and if her lover was of her class, he wouldn't mind, because Connie has absolutely Dignified, submissive, and virginal, perhaps she was born for love.Wenda called her "dear child" and gave her a lovely little portrait of an eighteenth-century lady, which she really didn't want, but had to accept.

But Connie could only think of herself and the Keeper.After all, Mr. Wenda is indeed an upper-class person, a member of the upper-class society. He regards her as a figure and a noble person. He does not regard her as the same as other women, but uses "you" and "" your" words. She didn't go to the woods that day, she didn't go the next day, she didn't go the third day, and she didn't go there as long as she felt, or thought she felt, that the man was waiting for her and thinking of her, but the first For four days her dreadful restlessness set in.But she still didn't want to go into the forest, and she didn't want to spread her legs for that man again.She thought of the things she might do—go to Sheffield, and visit friends, but the very thought of these things made her sick.At last she decided to go for a walk, not into the woods, but in the opposite direction, where she could go out through the little iron gate on the other side of the great garden, to Malhey, which was a still gray spring day, The weather was almost warm, and she was lost in her thoughts as she walked, not seeing anything.It wasn't until she was in the farm in Malhai that she was awakened from the dream by the barking of dogs, Malhai farm!The fox pasture stretched out to Wragby's garden wall, so they were neighbours; but Connie hadn't been here for a long time.

"Come on!" she said to the big white lapdog. "Accompany!" Have you forgotten me?Don't you know me? "—She is afraid of dogs, and the companion barked, while backing away, she wanted to go through the farm yard and go to the road to the livestock farm. Mrs. Flynn came out.It was a man of Connie's age, and she had been a schoolteacher; but Connie suspected that she was a hypocrite. "Why, it's the Baroness of Chatterley!" Mrs. Flynn's eyes were shining, and her face was as red as a girl's. "Baby! Baby! What's the matter! You're barking at Lady Chatterley! Baby! Stop talking!" She ran, beat the dog with the white handkerchief she was holding, and came to Connie.

"He's always known me," said Connie, shaking hands with her, the Flynns being tenants at Chatterley. "Why doesn't he know Mrs.? It just wants to show off." said Mrs. Flynn, blushing, looking at Connie sadly, "but it hasn't seen you for a long time, I hope you are better Is that enough?" "Thank you, I'm fine." We haven't seen Madame nearly all winter.Would you please come and see my baby? " "Huh!" Kang hesitated, "It's only for a while." Mrs. Flynn hurried in to clean up the house, and Connie followed slowly. In the dark kitchen, the kettle was boiling by the fire. Connie hesitated for a while, and Mrs. Flynn came back . "I'm very sorry," she said, "please come in here." They went into the sitting-room, where, on the rug by the fire, sat a baby and tea-things were sloppily arranged on the table.A young maid shyly and awkwardly retreated into the corridor. The baby was about a year old, a rare little thing, with red hair, just like her father, and two arrogant eyes, light blue, it was a girl who was not afraid of people, and she sat on some cushions In the middle, there are many Yanggugu and other toys made of cloth, which is the fashion nowadays. "Oh. What a baby!" said Connie. "How fast she's growing! A big girl, a big girl!" When the girl was born, she gave her ten scarves.For Christmas, she was given some celluloid ducks. "Josephine! Do you know who came to see you? Who is it, Joosephine? Baroness Chatterley . . . do you know Baroness Chatterley?" This strange and fearless little thing looked at Connie calmly, and the "baroness" still didn't matter to her. "Come on! Come to me, will you?" said Connie to the child. The child acted like nothing was necessary, Liang put her on his lap.How warm and lovely it is to hold a baby on your lap!The two arms are so soft, and the two calves are so ignorant and uninhibited! "I was just about to have some tea, all alone, and Luke's gone to market, so I can have some tea whenever I like, would you please, Lady Chatterley? Such a bad tea." Of course it's not Madam's habit, but if you don't mind..." Connie didn't mind, though she didn't like it being mentioned about her handy guy.The most beautiful tea books and teapots were lavishly placed on the table. "As long as it doesn't bother you," said Connie. But what fun would there be if Mrs. Flynn didn't bother!Connie played with the child, her little feminine audacity, her gentle youthful warmth, amused Connie with a deep joy, the young life!Such fearlessness!Such fearlessness is because there is no resistance.All grown-ups are so cramped by fear! Connie drank a cup of tea that was a little too strong, and ate some delicious brioche bread and tinned plums.Mrs. Flynn blushed and was very excited, as if Connie were an amorous warrior, and they were talking about real women's talk, which pleased both of them. "It's a bad tea, though," said Mrs. Flynn. "Better than the ones I use at home," said Connie honestly. "Oh! . . . " said Mrs. Flynn, of course in disbelief. But finally Connie stood up. "I must go!" said she. "My husband doesn't know where I am, and he's suspicious of all kinds of things." "Lee would never have thought you were here." Mrs. Flynn smiled happily. "He's going to send people all over the village to look for you." "Good-bye, Josphine," said Connie, kissing the baby and ruffle- ing her curly red hair. The gate was locked and closed, and Mrs. Flynn insisted on opening it for Connie, and Connie came out into the little garden before the farm gate, which was enclosed by a holly fence. , Along both sides of the waiting path, there are primroses planted, which are soft and gorgeous. "How many primroses!" said Connie. "Luke calls them weeds," said Mrs. Flynn, laughing. "Take some home." Mrs. Flynn picked them eagerly. "Enough! Enough!" said Connie. They came to the gate of the little garden. "Which line did you call?" asked Mrs. Flynn. "Take the road to the livestock farm." "Let me see . "I can climb," said Connie. "Perhaps I can accompany you over to the fence." She walked across the meadow that had been ravaged ugly by the rabbits.In the woods, the birds were chirping and singing the last herd of cattle, and they were slowly lumbering over the pastures that were trampled like people walking, and a man was calling them. "They're late for breastfeeding tonight," said Mrs. Flynn sternly, "because they know Luke won't be back until dark." They came to the fence, behind which grew a thicket of groves.There's a small door there, but it's locked.On the grass inside lies an empty bottle. "It's the hunter's empty milk bottle," Mrs. Flynn explained. "We'll bring it here when we fill it up, and he'll come get it himself." "When?" Connie asked. "Well, he took them whenever he passed by. Mostly in the morning. Well, farewell, Lady Chatterley! Please come often, for you are very rare in my house." Connie stepped over the fence and entered a narrow path lined with thickets of young fir trees.Mrs. Flynn was running back across the pasture in a school sun visor.Connie didn't like the dense new woods, it was scary and stuffy.She walked on with her head down, thinking of Mrs. Flynn's child, a lovely little thing, but her legs were going to be a little crooked like her father's.It can be seen now, but maybe it will get better as an adult.How warm and desirable we are to have a child, and how proud Mrs. Flynn looks!She was at least one thing Connie didn't have, and obviously couldn't have.Yes, Mrs. Flynn flaunted her motherhood, and Connie was a little, a little jealous.This is her helplessness. Suddenly, she was startled from her contemplation, and let out a slight cry, there was a person alone! It was the hunter, standing in the narrow path like Balan's donkey, blocking his way. "What, you?" she said in amazement. "How did you get here?" she asked panting. "But what are you doing? Have you ever been in the cottage?" "No: no: I just came from Malhai." He looked at her strangely and inquiringly; Shi shook his head, feeling guilty. "Are you going to the cottage now?" he asked in a somewhat stern tone. "No, I can't go. I've been away in Marhai for a while, and my family doesn't know where I've been. I'm going to be late, I have to run quickly." "It seems to have abandoned me?" He said with a slight sneer. "No! No, it's not like that, it's just..." "It's not like this, what else?" He said, and walked towards her, touching her, she felt his whole body was horribly pressed against her.Such excitement. "Oh, not now, not now." She shouted, trying to push him away. "Why not? It's only six o'clock and you have half an hour. No, no! I want you," He hugged her tightly, and she felt his anxiety.Her ancient instincts made her struggle for freedom, but there was something dull and heavy in her, and his body was pressing her down, and she no longer had the heart to struggle. He looked around. "Come . He looked at her more.She saw that his eyes were strong, bright, fierce, but not lustful, but she couldn't help herself anymore, she felt her limbs became strangely heavy, she retreated, she tamed. He led her through the thorny bushes that were not easy to pass through until he reached a place that was slightly open with a clump of dead branches. She had no choice but to lie down under the tree like a wild animal; at the same time, he, wearing only his shirt and shorts, stood by and waited, watching her closely, but he was still considerate. Suddenly, he made her lie comfortably, but he tore the strap of her underwear because she just lay there lazily without helping him. He also left his front naked, and when he entered her, she felt his naked flesh against hers, and he stood still inside her for a moment, swelling and vibrating there, when he began to twitch Sometimes, in the sudden and irrepressible desire, something new and thrilling in her was waking up and waking up, waving, waving, waving, like the gentle fluttering of a flame, softly Feathered, straight to the zenith of the radiance, beautifully, beautifully, dissolving her, dissolving her whole inside.It was like the sound of a bell, reaching its peak wave after wave.She lay there, involuntarily moaning wildly, small, till the end.But he ended too fast, too fast; and she could no longer use her strength to force herself to end, this time it was different, different, she was powerless, so she couldn't stand up and hang around him, To gain her own satisfaction.When she felt that he was retreating, retreating, shrinking, and was about to slip out of her for a terrible moment, her heart groaned secretly, and she could only wait, wait.Her whole body is unfolding gently, pleading softly, like a sea weed under clean water, imploring him to go in again, and satisfying her, she fainted in the fiery passion, tense Clinging to him, he didn't completely slip off her, she felt his soft fleshy buds stirred up inside her, using strange rhythmic movements, a strange rhythm flooded inside her, puffing up He swelled and swelled until her empty consciousness was filled.And so, the indescribable movement began again—in fact, it was not a movement, but a pure vortex of sensuality, deep and deep, in her flesh, in her consciousness, deeper and deeper, until she became a woman. A point of concentration for a wave of sensation.She lay there moaning, involuntarily moaning indistinctly, out of the boundless darkness of night, this is life!The man listened to the voice below him in a kind of awe, and at the same time thrust the source of his life into her. When the voice was muffled, he also stopped, stupefied and motionless Lying down; at the same time, she also slowly loosened her embrace, lying softly and lazily.They lay there, forgetting everything, even each other, both lost.Until finally, he began to wake up, aware of his nakedness, and she also felt the weight of his body relax, he was about to leave her, but she felt in her heart that she couldn't bear him to leave her naked. So Magai, he now has to cover her forever. But he withdrew at last, he kissed her, covered her, then began to cover himself, she lay looking up at the branches above, still unable to move, he stood, buttoned his shorts, Looking around, everything was dead, except for the frightened little dog, with its nose between its feet, lying down.He sat down again on the pile of branches, and held Connie's hand in silence. "This time we finished at the same time," he said. She turned her head to look at him without answering. "It's nice to look like this, most of it, and you don't know it after a lifetime." He said like a dream. She looked at his pensive strands. "Really?" she said. "Are you happy?" He turned his head and looked into her eyes, "Happiness," he said, "yes, but don't talk about it, he doesn't want her to talk about it." He leaned over to kiss her, and she felt that he should be so forever kiss her. Finally, she sat up. "Do people rarely finish at the same time?" she asked with innocent curiosity. "Very little. You can tell just by their rigidity," he said resignedly, regretting why this conversation had begun. "Have you ever ended up like this with a gay woman?" He looked at her amusedly. "I don't know," he said, "I don't know." She understood that he would never tell her what he didn't want to say, she looked at his face, her passion for him was trembling in her internal organs, she tried her best to restrain it, because she felt that she was lost up. He put on his coat and coat; cut a path among the young cedars to the path.The last light of the setting sun sank on the top of the forest, "I won't see you off." He said, "It's better not to see you off." She watched him warmly before he left, and his dog waited impatiently for him.She seemed to have nothing left to say, nothing more. Connie went back slowly, realizing that there was something else hidden behind her tank.Singing that a self is alive in her, in her womb, in her viscera, melting and burning tenderly, she adores her lover with all of me, she adores so much that she feels like her knees are shaking when she walks Soft and powerless, in her womb, in her viscera, she worshiped him contentedly, vigorously, fragilely, helplessly, like the most innocent woman.She said to herself: "It seems to be a child, it seems that there is a child in me."...It is true, her womb, which seemed to be closed all the time, is now opened.Enriching a new life. Although this new life is close to a burden, it is lovely. "If only I had a child!" she thought to herself, "If only I had his child inside me!"... Thinking of this, her legs went limp, and she understood that there is a child of her own, There is a world of difference between having a child from a man who loves her with all her heart. The former seems ordinary, but having a child from a man she adores with all her heart makes her feel very different from the old days. It's very different.That made her sink deep, deep into the center of all femininity, in the precivilized sleep. It was not passion that was new to her, but eager adoration.This is what she has always been afraid of, because this feeling of admiration would overwhelm her; she is still afraid, lest she will lose herself and kill herself when she worships too much, and she does not want to be like a Like an unflowered woman, she is obliterated and becomes a slave.She was never going to be a slave, she was afraid of her adoration, but she rebelled as soon as she made her wish, and there was an obstinate will in her breast that might well have declared war on the growing adoration tenderness in her womb. annihilated it.Even now, she could do it, at least she thought so, she could harness her enthusiasm inadvertently. Alas, yes, as enthusiastic as a drunken priestess of ancient Rome, running through the woods in search of Iiacus, this inhuman, pure servant of God!Man, this man, don't let him overstep.He is just a eunuch of the Kutang, he is just the holder and guardian of that magnificent penis, which belongs to women. Thus, in this new awakening, the old solid passion, kindling for a moment in her, reduced the man to a contemptible thing, a mere phallic-holder, while he did his best. She felt that in her limbs and body, she had the power of the patriarchal priestess of the ancient carnival, the power of the passionate and swift woman who ravaged men.However, when she felt this, her heart was heavy, she didn't want all of this, all of this was unmysterious, naked, and sterile, only the warmth of admiration was her treasure, this writing Tibet is so profound and gentle, so mysterious and incredible!No, no, no, she would give up her solid, radiant, womanly authority, which weary and stiffened her; she would sink in a new bath of life, sinking in silent singing of adoration deep in the viscera of her uterus, it would be too early to start fearing men. "I went for a walk in Malhey and had a cup of tea with Mrs. Flynn," she said to Clifford. "I wanted to see her baby. Her hair looks like good spider silk. What a lovely baby, what a treasure! Flynn went to the market, so she and I had some tea with the kids, and you wondered where I went?" "Yes, I wonder where you go to support him, but I guess you must have gone to drink tea somewhere," said Clifford jealously, sensing something new about her in his mind's eye. There was something about it she didn't quite understand, but he attributed it to the child. He believed that Connie was struggling because she didn't have a child, in other words, because she couldn't mechanically have a child. "Ma'am, I saw you go out through the garden and through the iron gate," said Mrs. Poe, "so I think you've gone to the parsonage. " The eyes of the two women met, Mrs. Poe's was gray, shining, and searching; Connie's was blue, hazy, and strangely beautiful, and Mrs. Poe almost decided that Connie had a lover. up.But how is this possible?Where is a man? "Well, it's very good for you to go out and visit people now and then," said Mrs. Poe; "I just said to Lord Clifford that it would be infinitely good for my lady if she would go out and call more often. " "Yes, I think it's a pleasure to go out, Clifford, that's a lovely child, so small and unscrupulous," said Connie. One eye is light blue as if made of magnets, it is wonderful and unscrupulous and natural, because it is a girl, otherwise it would not be so bold." "Madam's right...that's a real little Flynn. They've got a lot of hair. They've got nothing to fear," said Mrs. Poe. "Would you like to see her. Clifford: I've asked them to tea, so you can see her." "Who?" he said, looking at Connie uneasily. "Mrs. Flynn and her girls next Monday." "You can invite them upstairs to your room," he said. "Why, don't you want to see the child?" she cried. "Well, it's all right to see, but I don't want to sit and drink tea with them all hour." "Oh!" said Connie, looking at him with her large, cloudy eyes. In fact, she didn't look at Bei, he, he is someone else. "You can have tea comfortably in your room upstairs, madam, without Lord Clifford. Mrs Flynn will be much more at ease," said Mrs Poe. She was sure Connie had a lover, and something in her soul rejoiced, but who was he?Who is he? Maybe Mrs. Flynn set her up. Connie didn't want to take a bath that night.She felt that he touched her flesh, and she felt that his flesh was close to her, which was a precious feeling for her.It's a divine feeling. Clifford felt very irritable.After dinner, he would not let her go, but she longed to go to Fangshicheng and be alone, her eyes watching him but strangely obeying him. "Shall we play cards. Shall I read to you?" he asked uneasily. "Read to me," said Connie. "What are you reading... poetry? Prose, or drama?" "Read some poems about pulling carts," she said. In the past, he was good at reciting poems pulling carts in French inflections, but now, he no longer has that style and is a bit cramped. In fact, she would rather listen to the radio than read a book, but Kang did it for him. Mrs. Flynn's baby sewed a little dress of yellow silk; the material had been cut from one of her dresses before she walked back to dinner, and she sat quietly at sea, drunk with tender emotions. , Doubts interspersed, at the same time, he continued to read Racine's poems. In her heart, she could feel the humming of enthusiasm, like the end of a sinking bell. Clifford said something to her about Racine, and it took him a while to understand what he said. "Yes! Yes!" she said, looking up at him, "very well done." The deep blue light of her eyes, and her gentle sitting expression, startled him again, she had never been so gentle, so calm, she fascinated him involuntarily, as if she was fascinated. It was as if some scent intoxicated him.So he went on feebly reading poetry; the guttural sound of his French pronunciation seemed to her like the wind in a chimney, and she didn't hear a word of Racine's lines he read. She is already intoxicated in her tender dream, like a budding spring forest, sobbing dreamily and joyfully, she can feel that he and she are together in the same world Yes, he, the nameless man, moved forward with beautiful feet, magically beautiful feet, and in her heart, in her veins, she felt him and his child, his The child is in all her veins, like the dawn. "Because she has no hands, nor eyes, nor feet, nor treasures of golden hair She was like a forest, like a dark grove of oaks, with thousands of buds opening and whispering silently.Meanwhile, the birds of desire fell asleep in her condensed and dense body. But Clifford's voice was groaning and grunting incessantly and uncharacteristically.What a strange sound!What a strange man, leaning over his books, strange, greedy, civilized, with broad shoulders and no real legs!What a grotesque creature, gifted with a sharp edge!Inexorable, some kind of bird will, without heat, not at all!This is one of the most brilliant creatures, without a soul, only an extremely strong and cold will.She was afraid of him, and trembled slightly, but the gentle, passionate flame of life was stronger than him, and the real thing was kept from him. The poem reads like a charm.She was taken aback, and her astonishment was still greater when she looked up to see Clifford's pale, wicked eyes, which seemed to be looking at her with hatred. "Thank you very much! How well you read Racine!" she said softly. ' "Almost as good as it sounded to you yesterday," he said cruelly. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'll make a dress for Mrs. Flynn's baby." His head turned away, boy!child!She just thinks about that. "After all," he said in a grandiose tone, "we can get everything we need from Racine's poems. Ordered emotions are more important than disordered emotions." Her large, cloudy eyes were fixed on him. "Yes, indeed!" she said. "Modern people make emotions unrestrained, which only makes emotions mediocre. What we need is classical restraint." "Yes." She said slowly and saw his expressionless face, listening to the exciting nonsense of the box machine, "people pretend to have emotions, but they don't feel anything, I think This is the so-called Langwen." "Exactly!" he said. In fact, he was tired.Such evenings tired him out, and he would rather have read technical books, or talked to the manager of the mine, or listened to the half-day radio, than to live them. I was brought in by my wife with two glasses of malted milk, one for Clifford to sleep soundly, and one for Connie to get fat. point. When Connie had finished, she was glad to go away, and grateful that she did not have to help Clifford to bed. "Good night. Clifford, I wish you a good night's sleep? Thao pulling the cart is deeply rooted in everyone's hearts like a dream. Good night!" She went to the door and she left without kissing him good night, his sharp and cold eyes looked at her, good!He read poems to her all night, but she didn't even give him a goodnight kiss!Even if this kind of kiss is just a form, life is built on this form. She is really a Bolshevik!Her instincts are Bolshevist!He watched her grimly and angrily from there to that door.anger! " He was overtaken by the horrors of the night.他只是一团神经同甘共网结着的东西，当他不用全力兴奋地工作的时候，或当他不空泛迷离地听着收音机的时候，他便给焦虑的情绪纠缠着，而感觉着一种大祸临头的空洞，他恐怖着，假如康妮愿意的话，她是可以保护他的。但是显然她并不愿意，她并不愿意，她是冷酷无情的，他为好汽做的一切，她都漠然无睹，他把他的生命捐弃绘她，她还是漠然元睹。她只想我先系，任性您情地让她自己的道路。 现在她所醉心的便是孩子，她要这个孩子是她自己的。全是她自己的，而不是他的！ 虽然，克利福的身体是很壮健的，他的脸色是这样的红润'他的肩膊宽阔而有力，他的胸膛是这样大的，他发胖了。但是，同时他却怕死。什么地方好象有个可的空洞在恐吓着他，好象一个深渊似的；他的精力要崩倒在这深里，有时他软弱无力地觉得自己要死了，真的死了。 因此他的有点突出的两只灰色的眼睛，显怪异的，诡秘，却有点残暴，冷酷而同时差不多又是无忌惮的，这种无忌惮的神气是奇特的，好象他不怕生命如休强悍，而他却战胜着生命似的。“谁能认识意志之神秘一因为意志竟能胜天使……” 但是他所最恐怖的，便是当他不能人睡的夜里那时真是可怖，四方作斋的空虚压抑着他毫无生命而生存着，多么可怕！在深夜里毫天生命、却生存着！ 但是现在，他可以按铃叫波太太，这是个大大的安慰。她穿着室内便友走了过来、头发辫结着垂在背后、虽然她的棕色的头发里杂着自发地却奇异地有少女的暗淡的神气。她替他煮咖啡或煮凉茶或和他玩象棋或“毕克”纸牌戏。她有着那种对于游戏的奇民蝗女性的才能甚至在睡眼朦胧中还能下一手好象棋，而使他觉得胜之无愧。这样，在深夜的，静寂的亲密里，他们坐着。或是她坐着，而他卧在床上，桌上了灯光孤寂地照着他们。她失去了睡眠，他失去了恐怖。他们玩着，一起玩着一然后一起喝杯咖啡，吃块饼干，在万籁俱寂的深夜里，两人都不太说什么话、但是两人的心里都觉得安泰了。 这晚上，她奇怪着究竟谁是查太莱男爵夫人的情人。她又想起他的德底，他虽早已死了，但旦她总是没有十分死的。当她想起他时，她对于人世的，尤其对于那些残害他的生命的主子们的心底旧恨，便苏醒了转来，那些主于们并没有真的残害他的生命。但是，在她的情感上，都是真的。因为这个，在她心的深处，她是个虚无主义者，而且真的是无政府主义者。 在她的朦胧半睡中，她杂乱地想着她的德底和术太莱男爵夫人的不知名的情人。这一来，她觉得和那另一个妇人共有着对于克利福男爵，以及他所代表的一切事物的大怨恨。同时，她却和他玩着“毕克”，赌着六便士的胜负。和一个有爵位的人玩“毕克”，甚至输了六便士，毕竟是可引为荣誉的事呢。 他们玩纸牌戏时，是常常赌钱的，那可以使他忘掉自己。他是常常赢的。这晚上还是他赢，这一来，不到天亮，他不愿去就寝了。侥幸地，在四点半钟左右，睡光开始显现了。在这一段的时间里，康妮上在床酣睡着，但，是那守猎人，他也不能安息，他把鸡笼关闭了，在树林里巡逻一同，然后回家去吃夜餐。他并不上床去，他坐在火旁边思索着。 他想着他在达娃斯哈过支泊童年，和他的五、六年的结婚生活，他照例苦味地想着他的妻。她是那样粗暴的！但是他自从一九一五年的春天入伍之后，便至今没有见过她。然而她还在不到三英里路之遥生活着，而且比一向更其粗暴。他希望这一生永不再见她了。 他想着他在国外的士兵的生涯由印度到埃及，又回到印度，那盲目的、无忧虎的、与马群在一起的生涯；那爱他的，也是他所爱的上校；那几年的军官生涯大可以升为上尉的中尉生涯然后上校的死于肺炎，和他自己的死里逃生；他的残的健康的，他的深大的不安，他的离开军职而回到英国来再成为一个用人。 他只是把生命托延着。在这树林中，至秒在短期内，他相信定可安全，在那里，并没有人来打猎，他的唯一的事便是养育雉鸡，他可以孤独而与生命隔绝，这便是他唯一希望的事，他得有一块立足的地方，俺这儿是他的出世的故乡。甚至他的老母还住在这儿，虽则他对于他的母亲一向并没有什么了不起的感情。他可以一天一天地继续着生活，与人无术怨，于心无奢望。因为他是茫然不知所措的。 他是茫然不知所措的。自从他当过几年军官，并且和其他的军官和公务员以及他们的家庭交往以来，他的一切雄心都死了，他认识了中上阶级是坚韧的，象橡胶一样奇异的坚韧，却缺乏生命，这使他觉得冰冷，而且觉得自己和他们是多么相异。 这样，他重新回到他自己的阶级里去，在那里去找回几年外出之中所忘记了的东西，那些下分令人重大不的卑贱的心情和庸俗的仪态。他现在终于承认仪态是多么重要的了，而且他承认，假装对于一两个铜板和其它生命中的琐事满不在乎的样子是多么重要的了，但是在平民之中是没有什么假装的，猪油的价钱多一枚或少一枚铜板，是比删改《圣经》更重要的。这使他真忍受不了！ 况且，那儿还有工资的问题呵。他已经在占有阶级中生活过，他知道希图解决工资问题是多么徒劳梦想的事，除了死之外，是没有解决的可能的。中有不要管，不要管什么工资问题。 然而，要是没有钱而且不幸，你便不得不管，无论怎样，这渐渐成为他们所担心的唯一的事情了。钱的担心，好象一种庞大的痈病，咀食着一切阶级中的个人，他不愿为钱担心。 那么又怎样呢：生命除了为钱担心以外，还有什么？Nothing at all. 可是他可以孤独地生活着，心里淡淡地满足着自己能够孤独，养雉鸡，这些雉鸡是终要给那些饱餐以后的肥胖先生们射乐的，多么空泛！多么徒然！ 但是为什么担心，为什么烦脑呢？他没有担心，也没有烦脑过，直至现在这个女人来到了他的生命里，他差不多大她十岁，他的经验比她多一千年，他俩间的关系日见密切，他已可以预见那一天，他们再也不能脱这关系，而他们便不得不创造一个共同的生活了。“因为爱之束缚不易解开！” So what?怎样呢？他是不是必须赤手空拳地从新开始？他走不是定要牵累这个女人？他是不是定和要她的残废的丈夫作可怖掐吵？还要和他自己的粒暴而含恨的妻作些可怖的争吵？How unfortunate!How unfortunate!并且他已经不年轻了，他再也不轻快活泼了，他又不是无忧无虑的那种人，所有的苦楚和所有的丑恶都能使他受伤，还有这个妇人。 但是纵令他们把克利福男爵和他自己的妻的障碍除去了，纵令他们得到了自由，他们又将怎样呢？他自己己又将怎样呢？他将怎样摆布他的生活呢？因为他总得做点什么事他不能让自己做寄生虫，依靠她的金钱和他自己的很小的恤金度日的！ 这是一个不能解决的问题。他只能幻想着到美国去，到美国去尝口新鲜的空气，他是毫不相信金元万元的，但是也许那儿会有旁的什么东西。 他不能安息，甚至不愿上床去，他呆呆的在苦味地思索中坐到了半夜，他突然地站了起来，取了他的外套和枪。 “来罢，女孩儿。”他对狗儿说，“我们还是到外头去的好。” 这是个无月亮的繁垦之夜，他举着轻轻的步伐，缓缓地，小心地巡逻着，他唯一所要留神的东西，便是矿工们尤其是史德门的矿工们在玛尔附近所放的舞免机，但是现在是生育的季节，甚至矿工们对这点都有点新生而不过分放肆的，虽然，这样偷偷地巡逻着，去搜索偷掳野兽的人，却使他的神经安静了下来，而使他忘记了思虑。 但是，当他缓缓地，谨慎地巡逻完了的时候——那差不多要走五英里路一他觉得疲乏了，他走上山顶上去，向四周眺望。除了永不这地工的，史德门矿场的隐约而断续的声音外，没有什么其他的息；除了工厂里一排一排的闪炼的电灯光外，差不多没有什么其他的光，世界在烟雾中阴森地沉睡着，那是两点半了，但是这世界虽然是在沉睡中，还是不安，残的绘火车声和大路上经过的大货车的声音搅扰着，给高炉的玫瑰色的光照耀着。这是一个铁与煤的世界。铁的残忍。煤的乌姻和无穷无尽的念婪，驱驶着这世上的一切，在它的睡眠里，只有贪婪骚扰着。 夜是冷的，他咳嗽起来，一阵冷风在小山上吹着，他想着那妇人，现在他愿放弃他所有一切或他会有的一切、去换取这个妇人，把她抱在两臂里、两个人暖暖地拥在一张毡子里酣睡，一切未来的希望和一切过去的获得，他都愿放弃了去换取她，和她温暖地拥有一蹬毡子丑酣睡，只管酣睡。他觉得把这个妇人抱在他臂里睡觉”是他唯一的需要的事情。 他到小屋里去．盖着毡子、躺在地上预备睡觉，但是他不能人睡，他觉得冷，此外。他残酷地觉得他自己的天性的缺憾。他残酷地觉得他的孤独条件的不全，他需要她，他想摸触她，想把她紧紧地抱在怀里，共享那圆满而酣睡的片荆。 他重新站了起来，走出门去，这一次他是向着花园的门走去，然后慢慢地沿着小径向着大厦走去，那时差不多是四点钟了，夜是透明的，寒冷的，但是曙光还没有出现，他是习惯于黑夜的人，他能清楚地辨别一切。 慢慢地，慢慢地，那大厦好象磁石似地吸引他。他需要去亲近她，那并不是为了情欲，不，那是为了那残酷的缺憾的孤独的感觉，这种感觉是需要一个静寂的妇人抱在他的两臂里，才能使它消逝的，也许他能找到她罢，也许他甚至可以唤她出来，或者寻个方法到她那里去罢。因为这种需要是不可拒抗的。 缓慢地，静默的，他攀登那小山坡向着大厦走去，他走到了山摄，绕过那结大树，踏上了绕着大厦门前那块菱形的草地，而直达门口的那条大路。门前那大草坪上矗立着的两株大山毛梯树，在夜色中阴暗地浮出，他都看得清楚了。 这便是那大厦，低低的，长长的，暖味的，楼下点着一盏灯，那是克利福男爵的卧室，但是那牵着柔丝的极端残酷地引诱着他的妇人，竟在那一间房子呢？He doesn't know. 他再前进了几步，手里拿着枪，在那大路上呆站着，注视着那大屋，也许他现在还可以用个什么方法找到她，面到她那儿去罢，这屋并不是难进的；他又有夜盗一样的聪明，为什么不到那儿去呢？他呆呆地站着，等着。这时，曙光在他的背后微微的破露了。他看见屋里的灯光熄灭了，但是他却没有看见被太太走近窗前，把深蓝色的绸窗幕拉开，望着外面黎明的半暗的天，希冀着曙光的早临，等待着，等待着克利福知道真的天亮了。因为当他知道的确天亮了时，他差不多便可以即刻入睡的。 她站在窗边，睡眼惺松地等待着，突然地，她吃了一惊，差不多叫出来了，因为那大路上，在黎明中，有个黑暗的人影。她完全清醒了，留神地审视着，但是不露声色，免得打扰克利福男爵的清睡。 自日的光明开始疯疯地侵浸在大地上了；那黑暗的人影好象变小了，更清楚了，她分辨了枪和脚绊和宽大的短衣外一这不是奥利华·梅乐士那守猎人吗？是的，因她的狗儿在那里，好象一个影子似地东闻西嗅着，等着它的主人呢！ 但是这人要什么呢？他是不是想把大家叫醒了？为什么他钉着似地站在那儿，仰望着这大厦，好象一条患着相思病的公狗，站在母狗的门前？ 老天爷哟！波太太陡然地醒悟了，查太莱男的夫人的情人便是他！便是他！ What a surprise!但是她自己一爱微·波东敦，也曾有点钟爱过他的。那时，他是十六岁的孩子，面她是个二十六岁的妇人。她还在研究着护学，他曾大大地帮助过她研究关于解副学和其他应学的东西，那是个聪慧的孩子，他得过雪非尔德公学的奖学拿，学过法文和其他的东西，以后终竟成了个蹄铁匠，他说那是因炮喜欢马的缘故，其实那是因为他不敢与世触，不过他永不承认罢了。 但是他是个可爱的孩子，很可爱的孩子，他曾大大地帮助过她，他有很巧妙的法使你明白事情，他的聪明全不下于克利福男爵，并且他和妇女们是秀合得来的，人都说，他和妇人们是比和男子们更合得来的。 直至他蠢笨地和那白黛·古蒂斯结了婚，这种婚姻仿佛是为了泄愤似的，有许多人是这样的，他们是为了汇愤而结婚的，因为他们有过什么失意的事情，无疑地这是个失败的婚姻……在大战期中，他出外去了几年，他成了一个中尉，做了个十足的上流人！然后回到达娃斯哈来当一个守猎人！真的，有些人是不知道攫着机会上升的！他重新说起一回下注阶级所说的土话，而她一爱微·波尔敦，却知道他愿意时，是可以说在任何贵绅所说的英语。 hehe!原来男爵夫人给他迷住了！晤，他并不是第一个……他有着一种什么迷人的东西，不过，想想看！一个达娃斯哈村里生长教养出来的孩子！而是勒格贝大厦里的男爵夫人的情人！老实说，这是绘查太莱大富大贵之家的一个耳光哟！ 但是他，那守猎人，看见白日渐渐显现，他明白了，那是徒劳的，想把你自己从孤独中解脱出来，边种尝试是徒劳的，你得一生依附着这孤独，空罅的弥补只是间或的事，只是间或的！但是你得等待这时机来到，接受你的孤独而一生依着它。然后接受弥补空田的时机，但是这时机是自已来的，你不能用力勉强的。 骤然地。引诱他么追臆她的狂欲毁碎了。这是他毁碎的，因为他觉得那应该这样，双方都应该互相对着趋近，假如她不向他前来，他便不应去追逐她。他不应这样，他得走开，直至她向他前来的时候。 他缓缓地，沉思地、转身走开，重新接受着他的孤立，他知道这样是好些的，她应该向他前来，追逐她是没有用的，没有用的。 波太太看着他婚姻没了，看着他的狗儿跑着跟在他的后面。 “呵呵，原来这样！”对延迟产，“我一向就没有想以他，而他恰恰便我所应该想到的！我没有了德底以后(那时他还年轻)他曾对象很好过，呵，呵！假如他知道了的话，他将怎么说呢！” 她向着自已经入睡了的克利福得意地望了一眼，轻轻地走出了房门。