Chapter 5 three

He woke up very late the next day after a restless night's sleep which did not refresh him.He awoke hot, excitable, and looked venomously and hatefully at his cabin.It was a very small and shabby room, only six paces long. The wallpaper was yellow and dusty, and it was almost falling off the wall. Li would feel nervous, always feeling as if his head was about to hit the ceiling.The furniture was quite appropriate for the cabin: three old chairs, which were far from perfect, and a lacquered table in a corner with some exercise books and books on it; Dusty, which alone showed that they had not been touched for a long time; and finally, a large, heavy sofa, which filled almost one wall and half the room, and which had once been covered with calico , but now the face is in tatters, this sofa is also Raskolnikov's bed.He often sleeps on the sofa with his clothes on, without sheets, and covers himself with the worn-out overcoat he wore when he was in college, and puts a small pillow on the head of the bed. The dirty ones are all put under the pillow to make the pillow look higher.There is a small table in front of the sofa.

Sloppy and slovenly, to the extreme; but in his present state of mind, Raskolnikov even found it quite agreeable.He lived resolutely in his solitude, like a tortoise in its shell, and even the maid, who was responsible for her, would sometimes glance into his room, and seeing her face annoyed him and sent him into convulsions.This is often the case with some paranoid people who are too absorbed in thinking about something.His landlady hadn't brought him meals for two weeks.Even though he had no food to eat, he hadn't thought of negotiating with her until now.The landlady's cook and only maid, Nastasya, liked the lodger's mood a little, so she stopped tidying up and sweeping his room, except occasionally once a week with a broom. .Now it was she who woke him up.

"Get up, why are you sleeping!" She stood beside his bed and shouted, "It's past eight o'clock. I've brought you tea; would you like some tea?Probably hungry and thin? " The lodger opened his eyes, trembled, and recognized Nastasya. "Did the landlord ask you to bring the tea?" He looked sick and slowly got up from the sofa. "How could it be the landlord!" Their own cracked teapot was placed in front of him, with already drunk and watered tea in it, and two small pieces of yellowed sugar. "Here, Nastasya, here, please," he groped in his pocket (he slept in that way all night), and took out a handful of copper coins, "go and buy me a bun. Then go to the enema store to buy some enema, it will be cheaper."

"I'll bring you the buns right now. Would you like some vegetable soup instead of an enema? It's a delicious vegetable soup. I got it yesterday. I left it for you yesterday. But you came back late. It's a delicious vegetable soup." When the soup was brought, he ate it, and Nastasya sat down beside him on the sofa, and chatted.She was a woman from the country, and a talkative woman at that. "Praskovya Pavlovna is going to report you to the police," she said. He frowned hard. "To the police station? What is she going to do?" "You don't pay the rent, and you don't move out. Isn't it clear what she wants to do?"

"Hmph, hell, there's such a bad thing," he gritted his teeth and muttered, "No, this is not the time for me...she's a fool ,” he added loudly. "I'm going to find her today and talk to her." "Stupid, she is stupid, just like me, but you, you smart person, what's the use of lying like a bag all day long? Tell me, you used to teach children to read, but why don't you do anything now? Dry?" "I'm doing..." Raskolnikov said grimly and grimly. "do what?" "Work……" "What job?" "I was thinking," he replied solemnly after a moment's silence.

Nastasya could not help laughing.She was a big laugher, and whenever something made her laugh, she laughed silently, rocking back and forth, shaking all over, until she felt nauseous before giving up. "Did you come up with a lot of money?" She was finally able to speak. "You can't teach children to read without boots. Besides, I despise teaching." "Don't spit in the well."① ①This is a wisecrack with a double meaning. "Teaching, I despise it", the literal translation should be: "Bah, teaching, I want to spit on it." There is a Russian proverb: "Don't spit in the well, you may drink the water from the well later. ’ So Nastasya told him to “don’t spit in the well”.

"You get very little money for teaching children. What use are a few kopecks for?" he went on reluctantly, as if answering some thoughts in his own mind. "Do you want to get rich all at once?" He gave her a strange look. "Yes, I want to make a fortune," he replied resolutely after a moment of silence. "Oh, you've got to take your time, or it'll be frightening; it's dreadful. Are you going to buy the buns, or don't you?" "up to you." "Ah, I forgot! A letter for you came yesterday when you were away." "Letter! To me! From whom?"

"Who it came from, I don't know. I gave the postman three kopeks. The money is mine. Will you give it back?" "Then bring it, for God's sake, bring it!" Raskolnikov cried anxiously. "My God!" After a while, the letter came.Sure enough, it was good: it was sent by my mother from P province.When he received the letter, even his face turned pale.He had not had a letter for a long time; but now something else gripped his heart. "Nastasya, get out, for God's sake; here, here are your three kopecks, but for God's sake, get out!" The letter trembled in his hand; he did not want to open it in her presence: he wanted to read it alone.After Nastasya left, he quickly brought the letter to his lips and kissed it; then he looked at the handwriting on the address on the envelope for a long time, and at the familiar and lovely expression of his mother who had taught him to read and write. , small italics.He was not busy opening the letter; he even seemed afraid of something.At last he opened it: the letter was very long and thick, weighing two lots, and filled with densely packed small and small characters on two large sheets of paper.

①Russian unit of weight, one lot is equal to twelve eight grams. "My dear Rodya," wrote my mother, "it has been more than two months since I have spoken to you in letters, and I am so sorry that I sometimes cannot sleep at night thinking about it. But you probably Don't blame me for my compelled silence. You know how much I love you; you are ours, the only kinship to Dounia and me, you are our everything, all our hopes, all our expectations It all depends on you. How sad I was when I learned that you had been out of school for several months because of lack of livelihood, and that teaching and other sources of income were cut off! On a pension of one hundred and twenty rubles a year, How can I help you? You know that the fifteen rubles I sent you four months ago are pledged by me to our merchant, Avanasy Ivanovich V. Borrowed by Khrushin. He is a good man and a friend of your father. But after giving him the right to a pension, I had to wait to pay off the debt, which was not paid until now, so During this time, I couldn't send you anything. But now, thank God, it seems that I can send you some money again, and generally speaking, we can even boast that we have made good friends. luck, and I am anxious to tell you this. First, did you expect, dear Rodya, that your sister and I have been living together for a month and a half, and that we will never be separated again. Thank God , her torment is over, but I will tell you everything in order, so that you may know how it happened, and what we have been keeping from you hitherto. Two months ago you Write to me and tell you that Dounia seems to have been subjected to a lot of indecent treatment at Mr. Svidrigailov's, and ask me to tell you the truth—how could I have answered your letter then? If I wrote to tell you the whole truth, you would probably leave everything behind and come back to us even on foot, because I know your character and your feelings very well, and you would never let your sister I was insulted. I myself was in a state of despair, but what could I do? Even I didn't know the whole truth. The main difficulty was that when Dounia went to his house last year as governess, There was an advance of one hundred rubles on the condition that it was deducted from her salary every month, so she could not leave the job until the loan was paid off. And she borrowed this money (I can tell you everything now, dear Rodya) Mainly to send you sixty rubles, which you needed so badly and which you received from us last year. We deceived you and wrote that it was from Dunich The card was taken out of the previous savings, but it is not so; and now I tell you the whole truth, because everything is suddenly better now, and it is according to the will of God, so I tell you the whole truth, also so that You know how much Dounia loves you, and what a kind heart she has. Mr. Svidrigailov was very rude to her at first, he used to speak and behave rudely at the same table, and laughed at her... But when it's all over now , I don't want to dwell on these distressing pasts, lest you should be excited about them in vain.Let me put it simply, although Mrs. Svidrigailov, Marfa Petrovna, and all the rest of the family treated her well and aboveboard, Douniachka suffered a great deal, especially when Svidrigailov Mr. Hughes was under the influence of Bacchus through old habits acquired in the army.But what happened?You know, this capricious rascal had long since developed a strong passion for Dounia, harbored unreasonable ideas, and covered it all up with rudeness and contempt for her.Perhaps he felt ashamed and frightened at the thought of such frivolous thoughts in his old age, as the head of the family, and as a father, and that was why he involuntarily turned his temper on Dounia. come up.But perhaps he was trying to hide the truth with his rudeness and sarcasm.But at last he could bear it no longer, and dared to propose to Dounia vilely and openly, promising her many things, and besides that, abandoning everything and going with her to another village, or to a foreign country. go.You can imagine the pain in her heart!It was not possible to resign immediately, not only because of debts, but also because of poor Marfa Petrovna, who might suddenly develop suspicions and cause a family dispute.And it was embarrassing for Dounia too; it was not unheard of.There were so many different reasons, that, six weeks ago, Dounia could not have made up her mind to leave this dreadful house.Of course, you know Dounia, you know how smart she is and how strong she is.Dounia could endure humiliation, she was so magnanimous and strong-willed even in extreme embarrassment.She didn't even write to tell me about it, so as not to upset me, but we corresponded regularly.The ending came suddenly and unexpectedly.Marfa Petrovna overheard her husband beseeching Dunya in the garden, misinterpreted his words, and blamed Dunya for everything, believing that she was the cause of it all.Immediately thereupon a terrible quarrel erupted in the garden: Marfa Petrovna even beat Dunya, refused to hear a word, quarreled for an hour, and at last ordered an ordinary car to be dispatched immediately. The farmer's wagon brought Dounia back to the city, to me, and threw all her belongings, underwear, clothes, into the wagon, neither packed nor bandaged.At this time, it began to rain cats and dogs.Dunya was wronged and humiliated, and had to drive seventeen versts in a cart with a peasant.Now think about it, when I received the letter you sent me two months ago, how can I write a reply to you, and what can I write to you?I myself am in a desperate situation; I dare not tell you the truth, because you will be very miserable, sad and angry, and what can you do?Probably you'll ruin yourself, and Dounia won't let me tell you; but I can't fill my letters with irrelevant trifles when I'm so sad.For a whole month we have had a lot of trouble here, and rumors have spread, and there has been so much talk about it, that it has gotten to the point where Dunia and I can't go to church because people are looking at us with contempt. , chattering, gossip, some people even talked loudly in front of us.All the acquaintances avoided us and stopped even nodding to us, and I was sure that some shop assistants and some petty civil servants tried to insult us in a mean way by tarring our gates and making a fuss. The landlord also started asking us to move.All this was because Marfa Petrovna was spreading rumors from house to house, accusing Dunya and discrediting her.She knows everyone here, and she's been in town a lot this month, because she's a bit talkative, can't keep a secret, likes to talk about her family, and especially likes to complain about herself to everyone. Husband, this is a very bad temper, so in just a few days, she not only made a commotion all over the city, but also all over the county.I fell ill, but Dounia was stronger than I was, it's a pity you didn't see how she endured all this, comforted me, encouraged me!She is an angel!But God is merciful, and thanks to his goodness our suffering has come to an end: Mr. Svidrigailov, feeling remorseful and probably pity Dunya, proposed to Marfa Petrovna Ample and indisputable proof of Dounia's innocence, here is a letter that Dounia had to write to Marfa Petrovna before she met them in the garden , and had been handed over to him, the purpose of the letter was to reject his insistence on personal explanations and secret appointments, and this letter remained in Mr. Svidrigailov's hands after Dounia's departure.In this letter she reprimanded him with fury and vehemence, and precisely for the baseness and disgrace with which he had treated Marfa Petrovna, reminded him that he was a father, a family man, and in the end He also accused him of how ugly and mean it seemed to him to torture a girl who was already unhappy and defenseless, and to make her still more miserable and unhappy.In short, my dear Rodya, this letter was written so honestly and so touchingly that I burst into tears when I read it, and I still cannot read it without tears.Besides, the servants finally came forward and confessed to Dunya that they had seen and understood much more than Mr. Svidrigailov believed, and generally speaking, such things Always.Marfa Petrovna was greatly shocked, and, as she confessed to us, 'was in pain again', but she was so convinced of Dunya's innocence that the next day, Sunday, she drove directly to Go to the cathedral, kneel before the image of the Virgin with tears in her eyes, and ask her to give her the strength to endure this new trial, so that she can fulfill her responsibilities.Then, without going to anyone, he came all the way from the church to our house, told us everything, wept bitterly, repented, embraced Dounia, and begged her to be forgiven.That very morning, without delay, she went straight from our house, visited every house in the town, shed tears, praised Dounia, and restored Dounia's honor with the most beautiful words. .To say she is innocent, her feelings and actions are noble.Not only that, but she showed everyone the letter from Douniachka to Mr. Svidrigailov, read it to them, and even had it transcribed (which, in my opinion, is unnecessary).In this way, she visited all the houses in the city for several days; Everyone knew where Marfa Petrovna was going to read the letter on a certain day, and every time she read it, even those who had already heard it several times in their own homes and in the homes of other acquaintances, in turn, wondered. Come and listen to it again.It is my opinion that this is superfluous, quite superfluous; but such is the character of Marfa Petrovna.At least she has completely restored Dounia's reputation, and all the ignominious responsibility for this has fallen on her husband, the culprit, with such an indelible disgrace that I even pity him ; the punishment for this arrogant and surly man is already too severe.Immediately several families asked Dounia to teach, but she declined them all.In short, everyone suddenly had a special respect for her.The main thing is that all this contributed to an unexpected opportunity by which, so to speak, our entire fortunes are now changing.You must know, my dear Rodya, that Dounia has been proposed by an unmarried man, and she has agreed, and that is what I haveten to tell you.Although the matter has been settled without consulting you, you will probably have no opinion of me or your sister, since you can see for yourself that we cannot wait and delay until we have yours. Make a decision after replying.Besides, you are not here, and it is impossible to make an accurate and comprehensive consideration.Here's the thing.He, Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin, was already a civil servant of the seventh class, and a distant relative of Marfa Petrovna, who had greatly facilitated the marriage.After first expressing his interest in making our acquaintance through her, and having been well received by us over coffee, he sent a letter the next day in which he proposed very politely and demanded a prompt and final answer.He's a capable man, and a busy man, and he's in a hurry to get to Petersburg, so he values ​​every minute of his time.Of course, we were all surprised at first because it all happened so quickly and so unexpectedly.We thought about it together for a whole day that day, hesitating.He was a solid, well-to-do man, holding two jobs and already owning a considerable fortune.It is true that he was forty-five, but he was attractive and attractive to women, and on the whole he was a very dignified and respectable man, if a little gloomy and somewhat Arrogant.But maybe only at first glance.By the way, I want to tell you in advance, dear Rodya, that you will meet soon in Petersburg, and if you see him at first glance, and you find that there is something about him that you don't like, don't be too sentimental. Haste to judge, and you have the temper.I say this just in case, though I am sure he will make a good impression on you.Besides, knowing a person requires careful observation step by step, so as not to make mistakes and prejudices, which are very difficult to correct later.And Pyotr Petrovich was, at least according to many indications, a very respectable man.On his first visit he told us that he was a decent man, but in many ways, in his own words, sympathetic to 'the beliefs of our latest generation' and an enemy of all prejudice.He said a lot more, because he seemed a little vain and liked being listened to, but that was hardly a fault.Of course I didn't understand very well, but Dounia explained to me that although he was a man without much education, he was intelligent and seemed to have a good heart.Rodya, you know your sister's character well.The girl was strong, sensible, patient, open-minded, but she also had a warm heart, which I knew very well.Of course, there was no special love either on her part or on his part, but Dounia was not only a clever girl, but also a noble person like an angel, and she brought her husband We have no good reason to doubt for the time being that he regards his own happiness as his duty, and that he cares for hers, although it is true that things were done in a little haste.Besides, he was a good balancer, and he would of course understand that the happier Dounia was in marrying him, the more certain his own happiness would be.As for certain differences of character, certain old habits, even certain differences of thought (which are inevitable even in the happiest of marriages), for all this, Dounia himself told me Said that she thinks she can handle it well, don't need to worry, she can tolerate many things, the condition is that if the relationship between them in the future is sincere, mutual respect and love.For instance, at first I thought he seemed stiff; but you know, it might just be because of his blunt nature, it must be.For example, when he came to our house for the second time after his proposal was accepted, he said in conversation that before he met Dounia, he had decided to marry a innocent girl without a dowry, and he would definitely marry her. If it were a girl who had suffered; for, he explained, a husband should not accept any gift from his wife.It would be much better if the wife considered her husband to be her benefactor.I have to add that he said it in a more tactful and gentle way than I wrote it, because I have forgotten his exact words and only remember the gist, and besides, he definitely did not mean to say it, but was obviously talking about it. I blurted it out when I was in a hurry, so I even tried to correct my words later, and to be more tactful; but I still felt that it seemed a bit rude, and I told Dounia what I thought.But Dounia even answered me in an unpleasant way, 'Words are not deeds', which is of course true.Dounia did not sleep the whole night before she made up her mind. She thought I had fallen asleep, got out of bed, walked up and down the room all night, knelt down before the holy image, and prayed fervently for a long time. She told me early the next morning that she had decided.

① Bacchus is the god of wine in Greek mythology. ②Russian custom: Putting asphalt on the gate is a great insult to an unmarried girl, indicating that she has lost her virginity, and after suffering such an insult, she will not be able to marry. "As I have already mentioned, Pyotr Petrovich is now on his way to Petersburg. He has many important affairs there, and he wants to open a law firm in Petersburg. He has just won an important civil suit the other day. He has to go to Petersburg because there is an important case in the Senate there. So, dear Rodya, he may be very useful to you, Even to help you in every way, Dounia and I already think that even today you can definitely take certain steps for your future career, and think that your destiny is undoubtedly completely settled. Oh, How wonderful it would be if this could come true! What a good thing it is, and it should be considered a direct gift from God. Dounia dreamed of it with all her heart. We have boldly asked Peter Peter Trovich revealed a few words. He said it carefully, saying that yes, of course, he could do without a secretary, and that it would be better to pay his salary to a relative, if he could afford the job, than to a stranger. Are you still incapable!), but immediately expressed doubts, because you are taking classes at the university, so there will not be much time left to work in his office. This time I will stop here, but except Besides, Dounia is thinking of nothing else now. She has been almost in a state of frenzy for several days now, and has drawn up a complete plan for you to become Pyotr Petrovich's legal affairs in the future. Assistant, maybe even his partner, especially since you are a law student. Roja, I completely agree with her, agree with all her plans, share all her hopes, and think they are completely achievable and in spite of Pyotr Petrovich's present evasiveness--which is quite understandable--Dunya was convinced that by her good influence over her future husband she would surely achieve her goal, and for this She was convinced of one thing. Of course, we were all careful not to let Pyotr Petrovich slip a little bit of our future fantasies, mainly not to mention that you would be his partner. He was a A decent man would probably be quite indifferent to this, since it seems to him to be nothing but fantasies. Likewise, neither I nor Dounia have yet revealed a word to him about our strong Hope: to help you finish college; we don’t talk about it because, first, it will come naturally in the future, probably without others talking, he will propose to help you (this matter, he will also help you) Do you refuse Dunechka), and more likely, you yourself can become his right-hand man in his office, not by receiving a gift, but by receiving a due payment. Dunech Ka hoped that such an arrangement could be made, and I totally agree with her. Second, the reason why we don’t talk about it is because you will meet soon, and I especially hope that you and him will be on a completely equal footing when you meet. When Dounia spoke cheerfully to him about you, he replied that no matter whatNo matter who you are, you need to observe it yourself and get close to him before you can make a judgment. He also said that when he gets to know you, let him form his own opinion on you.Listen to me, dear Rodya, I feel that, out of certain considerations (but definitely not from Pyotr Petrovich's attitude, but from my own personal considerations, one might even say that out of old crones, women's wayward thoughts),—I think that maybe after they are married, I'd better live as I am now, instead of living with them.I am fully convinced that he is so generous and gentle that he will invite me himself, offer to keep me from my daughter, and if he has not mentioned it so far, it is because, of course, it goes without saying. ; but I shall decline his invitation.I have noticed more than once in my life that a mother-in-law is often not very pleasing to her son-in-law, and I not only do not want to be even the slightest burden to anyone, but I also want to enjoy full freedom, so that for the time being at least I have something to eat, and There are two children like you and Dunechka.If possible, I will live near the two of you, Rodya, and I have saved the happiest news for the end of this letter, because, you know, my dear friend, after nearly three years of separation, Maybe soon we will get together again, and the three of us will hug each other again!I am going to Petersburg with Dounia, that is certain, when exactly I do not know, but at any rate it will be very, very soon, maybe even a week later.Everything depends on the arrangements made by Pyotr Petrovich, who will let us know right away after getting acquainted with Petersburg.From certain considerations, he wished to have the wedding as soon as possible, even during the present Eid al-Fitr if possible, or if it was too late due to the shortness of time, as soon as the fast of the Assumption had passed .Oh, how happily I shall hold you close to my breast, and hold you close to my heart!Dounia, thinking of the joy of meeting you, was so excited that she couldn't help herself, and once joked that she would marry Pyotr Petrovitch just for that alone.What an angel she is!Now she doesn't write anything for you, just ask me to write a few sentences, saying, she has so many, so many things to say to you, but now she can't write, because the book is not enough, a few lines It can only make her feel upset, how can she say a thousand words in her heart; she asked me to hug you tightly and kiss you countless times on her behalf.But even though we may be seeing each other soon, I'm going to send you as much money as I can in the next few days.Now that everyone knows that Dounia is going to marry Pyotr Petrovich, my credit has suddenly improved, and I know for sure that Avanasy Ivanovich will now trust me with his pension as collateral , would even lend me seventy-five rubles, and I might be able to send you twenty-five or even thirty rubles.I would have liked to send more, but I was worried about the expenses of our journey; although Pyotr Petrovich was so kind as to share our part of the cost of our trip to Beijing, and offered to pay for our checked luggage and a large suitcase. burden (try to entrust the acquaintance there to handle it), but we still have to consider the expenses after arriving in Petersburg. When we get there, we must not be penniless, at least we must have money for the first few days.But Dounia and I have calculated everything accurately, and it turns out that the travel expenses will not cost much.It's only ninety versts from us to the station, and just in case, we've arranged with a peasant driver we know; I am very satisfied.So, maybe I sent you more than twenty-five rubles, and probably managed to send thirty rubles.But that's enough; two sheets of paper are filled, and there's no room left; our business is a whole story; yes, how many things are all put together!And now, my dear Rodya, I hug you, until soon when we meet, mother blesses you, may God bless you.Love Dounia, your sister, Rodya; love her as she loves you, and know that she loves you infinitely better than she loves herself.She is an angel, and you, Rodya, you are our everything—our all hope, all our hope.As long as you are happy, we will be happy too.You pray to God, Rodya, do you still believe in the mercy of the Creator and our Savior?I am really afraid in my heart, will the recent fashionable irreligious thoughts come to you?If so, I want to pray for you.Remember, my dear, that in your childhood, when your father was alive, you used to sit on my lap and mumble your prayers, how happy we all were then!Farewell, or better say, goodbye!Hug you tightly and kiss you countless times.

love you forever Pulcheria Raskolnikova. " ①The Orthodox Church stipulates that weddings can only be held during Eid al-Fitr, and weddings are not allowed during the fasting period. ②The Assumption Day falls on August 15th in the Russian calendar, and there is a two-week fast before the festival, from August 1st to 15th in the lunar calendar (August 13th to 28th in the new calendar). Raskolnikov's face was covered with tears from the very first time he read the letter, and almost the whole time he read it; Contorted, a pained, annoyed, vicious smile flitted across his lips.He threw his head on the thin, broken pillow and thought for a long time.His heart was beating violently, and his thoughts were churning violently like waves.At last he felt stuffy and hot and suffocating in this cupboard or box with the yellowed wallpaper.Thought and sight both demand a wide space.He snatched up his hat and went out, no longer worried about meeting anyone on the stairs this time; he had forgotten about it.He walked across B Street in the direction of Vasilyevsky Island, as if he was in a hurry to do something there, but as he walked he habitually ignored the road, muttering to himself, even saying声来，这使过往的行人觉得十分奇怪。有许多人把他当成醉汉。