Chapter 39 Benefits of Establishing Criteria for Choosing a Mate

By constantly practicing our discrimination and continuing to improve our mate selection standards, we can establish such a concept of mate selection: we must never wrong ourselves and just find someone at random just to get married as soon as possible.Dating someone who, for whatever reason, doesn't match our level of maturity will undermine our ability to move through the five stages of dating.When a mature man keeps dating women who seem sexy, casual, and willing to have sex with him, he may never find eternal and lasting true love; She will continue to feel disappointed and frustrated with a man who is extremely enamored with her appearance but doesn't care what's going on inside her.

Dating someone we already know won't be right for us is like aiming for a target and deliberately missing it.Doing so not only prevents us from hitting the bull's-eye, but it also confuses our very nature.Only with the right orientation can we not be attracted to the wrong types of people.If we lower our standards in choosing a mate just because we're lonely, we won't attract the best match for us. Once you go after someone who is obviously not right for you, you lose your motivation to pursue.It's like betting your life savings and not knowing if it will pay off.There's no way you're going to think, "Well, it's definitely not the best way to invest, but I think I'm going to put all my money in it anyway." It's really hard to do this when you know it's not good. So stupid.It is better to keep your money in the passbook than to do so.

By the same token, some people don't meet your mate selection criteria, and you don't like them, so it's best not to date them.If you're at your lowest level right now, dating just about anyone will help increase your discernment.If your discernment has been developed and you go back to a lower level, something is bound to be lost.For a while, your ability to recognize the right person and your magnetism for the right person will disappear.