Chapter 29 Chapter Sixteen

The only bad thing that happened to Kasahara May's house, Kasahara May's investigation on mud energy "Hey, the wind-up bird," said the woman.I put the receiver on my ear and glance at my watch, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.I was sweating profusely on the couch when the phone rang.Short unpleasant sleep.It's almost like someone sat on me while I was sleeping, and the feeling still lingers.And that person rushed to sit while I was asleep, and when I woke up, I didn't know where to lift my buttocks. "Hey," the woman murmured in a low voice that seemed to come through thin air. "I'm May Kasahara.

"Oh." Because the muscles in my mouth were uncomfortable, I didn't know what the other party heard, but I said "remorse".It's unknown if it's just a groan. "What are you doing now?" she asked tentatively. "Nothing." I replied, then moved away from the receiver to clear my throat. "I didn't do anything, just took a nap." "Woke you up?" ""Wake up because you woke up, it doesn't matter, it's just a nap. " Kasahara May paused hesitantly and said, "Hey, Wind-Up Bird, if it's convenient, why don't you come to my house right away?"

I close my eyes.As soon as I closed my eyes, various colors and lights floated in the darkness. "It's okay to go down." "I'm lying in the yard sunbathing, can I just come in from the back?" "got it." "Hey, Wind-Up Bird, are you still mad at me?" "I can't tell." I said, "Anyway, I'll take a shower and change immediately, and I'll go to your place when I'm done. I also have something to say." First poured cold water to wake up the head, then poured hot water, and finally cold water.In this way, the eyes naturally woke up, but the sense of balance of the body has not yet been restored.Legs trembled from time to time and had to hang on towels a few times in the shower or sit on the edge of the tub.It seems to be more tiring than I thought.While I was washing my bulging head, I thought about the young man who snatched me to the ground on the streets of Shinjuku.I can't figure out why this is the case.What caused him to behave in this way?It happened yesterday, but it seems like a week or two has passed.

Get out of the shower, wipe your body with a towel, brush your teeth, and look at your face in the mirror.The blue and black mole on the right cheek still hasn't faded.Compared with before, it has not become thicker or lighter, the eyeballs are bloodshot, the eye sockets are black, two are obviously sunken, and the beard is a bit too long.It looked like a newly revived corpse crawled out of the cemetery a few days ago. After that, I put on a new T-shirt and shorts, buttoned up a hat, and put on dark sunglasses and walked into the alley.The hot day was not over yet, and all living and tangible things on the ground were panting for the evening showers, but there were no clouds in the sky.There was no wind, and the sluggish heat enveloped the alley.As usual, I didn't meet anyone in the alley.On a hot day, I don't want to meet anyone in this embarrassment.

In the courtyard of the empty house, the stone-carved bird is still staring at the sky with its long beak up.The bird seemed to be much more tired and dirty than before, and his eyes seemed to show a more impatient expression.It seemed that the bird was staring at the miserable scene floating in the sky.Bird wanted to look away from the scene if possible, but couldn't.The eyes have been fixed and cannot help looking.The stretched weeds around the stone bird are like the leader of a Greek tragedy choir motionless, holding his breath and waiting for the oracle to descend.The rooftop TV antenna stretched its silver tentacles impassively in the choking heat.Everything was dry and exhausted under the fierce summer sun.

After looking around the yard of the empty house for a while, I walked into the yard of May Kasahara's house.The oak trees cast cool shadows on the ground, but she avoided the shade and lay in the hot sun.May Kasahara was lying on her back in a canvas chair in a chocolate-colored bikini that couldn't be smaller.Swimsuits are nothing more than small pieces of cloth connected by thin straps. I have some doubts whether people can actually swim in the water in this thing.She was wearing the exact same pair of sunglasses as when they first met, and her face was beaded with sweat.Under the canvas chair were large white bath towels, tanning lotion, and a few magazines.Two empty soda cans of "Cheer" were rolling around, one of which appeared to be used as an ashtray.A plastic water diversion hose on the lawn is still twisted in the same shapeless way as last time.

Seeing me approaching, May Kasahara got up and reached out to switch off the recorder.She was much more tanned than the last time we saw her.It's not the kind of general tan that I occasionally go to the beach to bask in on weekends.The black is very uniform, the whole body is really black from the helix to the tip of the toe.It is estimated that I just blindly bask in the sun every day, and I am afraid that the few days I was at the bottom of the well were no exception.I looked around and saw that the courtyard was almost the same as when I was there last time.The neatly cut lawn stretched out, and the drained water was so dry that one could feel smoke coming out of his throat just by looking at it.

I sat down in the canvas chair next to her and took out the lemon drops from my pocket.Heat, sugar and wrappers all stuck together. Kasahara May didn't speak for a long time, just staring at my face. "Hey, Wind-Up Bird, what happened to that mole on his face? Is it a mole?" "Yeah, nine times out of ten it's a mole, I think. I don't understand why you ask. It's already there when you notice it anyway." May Kasahara got up halfway and slapped my face.She wiped off the sweat on the side of her nose with her fingertips, and pushed up the bridge of her glasses.The lenses are so dark that it is almost impossible to see the eyes inside.

"How did it feel? Why did you become like that?" "Not at all." "Half time?" "Soon after coming out of the well, I looked in the mirror like this, that's all." "pain?" "No pain, no itching, just a little fever." "Go to the hospital?" I shook my head: "It's useless to be afraid." "Maybe." May Kasahara said, "I hate doctors too." I took off my hat, removed my glasses, and wiped the sweat from my brow with my handkerchief.The underarms of the gray T-shirt were already black with sweat.

"What a beautiful swimsuit." I said. "thanks." "It's like using waste to maximize the use of limited energy." "When the family is away, the upper management will also solve it." "Ah" "Of course, it doesn't matter how you explain it. Anyway, there is no decent content below." She said defensively. The breasts protruding from her bathing suit were indeed small and not very protruding. "Swimming in this thing?" I asked. "No. Total landlubber. What about you wind-up bird?" "Can swim."

"How far?" I flipped the lemon drop with the tip of my tongue and said, "As far as it goes." "10 kilometers?" "Almost." I pictured myself swimming on the coast of Creta.According to the guidebook, the beach is so white that it is white anyway, and the sea water is as thick as wine.I can't imagine what a sea is as thick as wine.But about not bad.I wiped the sweat off my face again. "Is the family not here now?" "I went to the Izu villa yesterday. I went all over the weekend. I can't go to my parents and younger brother." "Aren't you going?" She made a slight shrug.Then he took out the short "Hope" and the match from the bath towel, and lit it on his mouth. "Wind-up bird, why is your face so disgusting?" "I stayed at the bottom of the deadly dark well without eating or drinking for several days, and of course my face will not look good." Kasahara May took off her sunglasses and turned her face to me.She still has deep scars around her eyes. "Hey, wind up the horse, are you mad at me?" "Be clear. I feel like I have too many things on my mind to be angry with you." "Miss is back?" I shook my head and said, "Recently there was a letter saying that I would never come back. Since the letter said that I would never come back, it means that Kumiko will not come back." "Once you make up your mind, you never change easily—is that the kind of person you are?" "Unchanged." "Poor Wind-Up Bird," May Kasahara said, straightening up and touching my knee lightly. "Poor, Wind-up Bird! Well, Wind-up Bird, maybe you don't believe me, I really planned to save you from the well until the end, just to scare you into suffering, to make you suffer Trembling makes you scream. Just to test how far you can get lost before panicking." I didn't know what to say, so I nodded silently. "Hey, do you think I'm serious? Think I really want you to die there?" I rub the lemon candy wrapper in my hand for a while. "I don't know. What you said at that time sounded like it was true, and it seemed like it was just scaring me. The sound waves were incredible, and the expression couldn't be judged accurately. But in the end, I think this It’s not something of the nature of what is what is and what is not. See, reality is made up of several layers. So, in that layer of reality, maybe you really want to kill me, but in this layer of reality, you may Not that thought. I guess the question is which reality you take and which reality I take." I tossed the balled up lemon drop wrappers into the "refreshing" empty jars. "Warm Winding Bird, I have something to ask you," May Kasahara said, pointing to the water hose on the lawn, "Can I use that hose to spray some water on me? I don't shower often, and my head is sunburned." Something is going wrong." I got up from the canvas chair and went over to the lawn to pick up the blue plastic hose.The hose was warm and limp.I unscrewed the tap under the shade of the tree to turn on the water.At the beginning, the water heated up in the hose, and when it came out, the water was almost boiling. After a while, it cooled a little bit, and finally became cold water.I sprayed hard on May Kasahara who was lying on the lawn. Kasahara May closed her eyes tightly, facing the water curtain. "It's cool and very comfortable! Don't you want some too?" "It's not a bathing suit," I said.However, seeing that May Kasahara was dripping so freely, I found it hard to bear it any longer, because the sun was scorching hot after all.So I took off my sweat-soaked T-shirt, bent down and poured water on my head, and took it to my mouth to taste it. It was cool and delicious. "Hey, is it groundwater?" I asked. "Yes, it comes from an underground pump. It's cold and comfortable, right? You can drink it! Some time ago, I asked the health center to test it, and said that the water quality is no problem, and that it is difficult to have such good water in Tokyo. The people who did the testing seemed surprised. But they didn't drink it, so they were a little worried. The houses in this area are densely built, who knows what got in, right?" "But when I think about it, it's really unbelievable. Miyawaki's house on the opposite side didn't have a drop of water, but there is such fresh water here. It's just across the alley, why is there such a disparity?" "This--, what's the point?" May Kasahara tilted her head in thought. "Perhaps the water veins have changed a little bit by accident, but it didn't work on that side, but it didn't work on this side. I don't know exactly why." "Did anything bad happen to your family?" I tentatively asked. Kasahara May frowned, shook her head and said, "The only bad thing that happened to my family in the past 10 years is boredom, boredom!" May Kasahara let me spray water on her body for a while, then wiped her side with a towel and asked me if I wanted to drink beer, and I said I wanted to.She brought out two cans of Heineken from home, one for her and one for me. "Wind the clockwork, what are you going to do next?" "I haven't figured out what to do yet," I said, "but it's possible to leave here, I think. Or maybe Japan." "Where are you leaving Japan?" "Crete." "Crita? What does this have to do with that man? With that woman called Creta?" "a little bit." Jingyuan May thought for a while and said, "The one who rescued you from the well was also called Krita?" "Janakri," I said, "yes, it was Ganakli who brought me up from the well." "You must have many friends." "Neither. Known for being less in general." "But how did Ganakli know you were at the bottom of the well? Didn't you tell anyone about going down the well? Then how did she know you were there?" "I don't know." I said, "I can't ask." "You're going to Creta anyway?" "Not yet. I mean there's a possibility." Kasahara May lit her cigarette, and touched the scar next to her eye with her fingertips. "Hey, Wind-up Bird, when you were at the bottom of the well, I basically lay down here and sunbathed. Looking at the yard of the empty house from here, I thought of you while basking in the sun--the Wind-up Bird is there, right there I am starving at the bottom of the dark well, and I am approaching death step by step. It is impossible for him to come out from there. Only I know he is there. Thinking about it this way, I can feel your pain, your anxiety, your pain very, very clearly. Panic. Um, you know? That's how I feel very, very close to you, the wind-up horse. I really didn't intend to hurt you, really, I won't lie to you. But, Wind-up Bird, I am I want to push you a few steps forward, to the last step, to the point where you can’t even stand still, you’re so scared that you can’t hold on anymore. I think this is good for me and you.” "But I think once you do get to the last step, maybe you're going to go all the way. It's probably a lot easier than you think. Because it's the last step. It's just one more step and you're done. And you think about it afterwards. : After all, it's good for me and you." After that, I took a sip of beer. Kasahara M8y bit her lips in thought. "It's not impossible." She paused, "I can't grasp it." After drinking the last sip of beer, I stood up, put on my sunglasses, and pulled my sweat-soaked T-shirt over my head. "Thank you for the beer." Hey, wind it up," May Kasahara said, "After my family went to the villa last night, I also went down to see it.I stayed at the bottom of the well for five or six hours, sitting motionless. " "Then you untied the rope ladder and took it?" Kasahara May frowned slightly, "Yes, I took it." My eyes fell on the lawn.The ground that has absorbed enough water steamed like a smoke field.Kasahara May threw the cigarette butt into the "Qingshuang" can and extinguished it. "I didn't feel anything special in the first two or three hours. Of course, it was so dark that I felt a little flustered, but it wasn't really scary or frightened. I'm not the kind of girl who yells when I feel something. Heart I can't think about the black spots. Didn't the wind-up horse stay here for several days, didn't they say that there is nothing to be afraid of if it is dangerous! But after two or three hours, I gradually became confused. What's the matter. I feel that once a person remains motionless in the dark, something will continue to bulge in the body. It's like the roots in the pot will grow bigger and bigger and finally burst the pot. I feel that something is constantly in my body Getting bigger is likely to burst my body in the end. The things that are well contained in my body under the sun, but grow fast in the dark as if they have absorbed special nutrients. It is amazing. I really want to control, But I just couldn’t control it. Like this, I was so scared all of a sudden. This is the first time in my life that I’m so afraid. The whole body will soon be replaced by the white, muddy fat block in my body! It will swallow me in one bite ! Wind-up bird, that slimy thing was really tiny at first!" May Kasahara kept her mouth shut and stared at her hands with an expression reminiscent of what she felt at that time. "It's really scary," she said, "I'm sure I want you to be scared too, to hear him nibbling at your body." I sat down on the canvas chair and looked at May Kasahara's body wrapped in her swimsuit.Although she was sixteen, she looked no more than thirteen or fourteen, with immature breasts and waistline.It reminds me of figures brought to life with a minimum of lines.But at the same time, there seemed to be something old-fashioned about her limbs. "Have you ever felt defiled before?" I asked involuntarily. "Defiled?" She narrowed her eyes slightly and looked at me. "The so-called defiled refers to the body? Who is raped? Does that mean?" "Physically, or mentally." Kasahara May's eyes fell on her body, and then turned back to me: "Not physically. I'm still a virgin! Boys touched my breasts, through the clothes." I nodded silently. "I can't answer how it is mentally. I don't understand what it means to be spiritually defiled." "I can't say for sure. It's just a matter of feeling that way. If you don't feel that way, then you're not defiled, I think." "Why are you asking me this?" "Because a few people I know feel that way, and it raises a lot of complications. One more thing to ask: Why do you keep thinking about dying?" She smoked a cigarette, struck a match deftly with one hand, and put on her sunglasses. "You don't think much about dying?" "Consideration, of course, is consideration, but not often. Sometimes. Like most people in the world." "Wind-up bird," May Kasahara said, "I think this way, people must have different things in the center of their own bodies from birth, and those different things drive each person from the inside like energy. A person, of course I am no exception. But I often feel overwhelmed with myself. I would like to tell others what it feels like when that thing expands and shrinks in my body and shakes me at will, but no one understands. Of course, I have a way of expressing it The problem is not good enough. In short, no one is willing to listen to me carefully. On the surface, they are listening, but in fact they don’t listen to anything. That’s why I often feel very irritable, so I just mess around.” "mess?" "If you put yourself at the bottom of the well, cover the boy's eyes with both hands from behind while riding a motorcycle." She said, pressing her hand on the scar beside her eye. "That's when the motorcycle accident happened?" I asked. May Kasahara looked at me with a surprised expression, as if she didn't hear the question.But what I said in my mouth should reach her ears verbatim.She was wearing dark sunglasses, and her eyes couldn't be seen clearly, but her entire face was suddenly covered with a shadow of numbness, like oil spilled on the surface of still water. "How is the boy?" I asked. Kasahara May looked at me with a cigarette in her mouth.To be precise, it is to see my illness. "Wind-up bird, do I have to answer your question?" "You don't have to answer if you don't want to answer. You caused the words. If you don't want to say it, you have nothing to say." Kasahara May didn't make a sound at all, as if it was difficult to decide what to do.She sucked the smoke into her chest, and then let it out slowly.Then lazily took off the sunglasses, closed his eyes tightly and faced the sun on his back.Seeing such movements, I feel that the flow of time is slowing down a little bit.The clockwork of time seems to be starting to unwind, I think. "Dead." After a long time, May Kasahara said in a lifeless voice as if she had finally given up on something. "died?" May Kasahara shook the cigarette to the ground, picked up a towel and wiped the sweat off her face one after another.After that, as if remembering something I forgot to mention, I quickly said in a businesslike manner: "Because the speed was already quite fast at that time. It was near Enoshima." I silently stared at her face.Kasahara May grabbed the white beach towel and pressed two of them.Cigarettes smoked white from between his fingers.There is no wind, and the smoke rises straight up, like a tiny wolf smoke.It seemed that she was still hesitating, whether to cry or laugh.At least in my eyes.She struggled to stand on this narrow dividing line and swayed from side to side for a long time, but in the end she didn't fall to either side.Signing the original May tensed his expression suddenly, put the beach towel on the ground, and took a puff of cigarette.It was nearly 5 o'clock, and the heat wave did not abate at all. "I killed that boy. Of course I didn't mean to. I just wanted to get to the last step. We've done that kind of thing many times before, like a game. I covered his eyes from behind or rubbed his ribs while riding a motorcycle Department... But nothing happened before that, but at that time, May Kasahara looked up at me. "Well, lyric bird, I don't really feel like I'm being stained or anything. I just want to be close to the mud, to lure it out of me deftly and clean it up. And to lure it out, I really need to force To the last step. Otherwise, it is impossible to lure that thing out well, and it must be given delicious bait." Having said that, she slowly shook her head.Oh guess I wasn't tainted, but I wasn't rescued either.No one can save me right now.Well, lyrical bird, the whole world is an empty shell in my eyes.Everything around me looks like a liar.The only thing that isn't a liar is the mud inside me. " Kasahara May took regular and light breaths for a long time.If you don't hear birds or cicadas, you don't hear anything, and the yard is surprisingly quiet.The world really seems to be completely reduced to a shell. Kasahara May suddenly remembered something, turned to me, the expression had disappeared from her face, as if washed away by something. "Did you sleep with that Ganakli man?" I nod. "Is it possible to write a letter to Creta?" Kasahara May said. "Write, if you go to Crete. It's just not final yet." "Are you planning to go anyway?" "I think I'll probably go." "Hey, come here, the wind-up bird." Saying that, May got up from the canvas chair. I left the canvas chair and walked over to May Kasahara. "Sit here and express yourself," said May. I obediently sat down beside her. "Turn your face this way, wind up the horse." She looked at my face quietly for a while, face to face.Then put one hand on my knee, and press the mole on my face with the palm of the other. "Poor Wind-up Bird," May Kasahara said to herself, "you must bear a lot of things, whether you feel it or not, whether you want it or not, it's like rain falling on the wilderness. Well, close your eyes , a wind-up bird, shut tight as if glued on." I shut my eyes tightly. May Kasahara kissed the mole on my cheek.The lips are small and thin, very much like a delicately made false lip.Then stick out his tongue, licking evenly and slowly on the disease.The other hand is always on my lap.A feeling of warmth and dampness came to me from far--farther than through all the wildernesses of the world.Then she took my hand and placed it on the scar next to her eye.I gently stroked the scar about 1 cm long.During the touch, the rhythm of her consciousness came along my fingertips.It was a trembling that seemed to be looking for something.Maybe someone should hug this girl tightly, someone other than me, someone who is qualified to give her something. "If you go to Crete, write me a letter, Wind-up Bird. I like to answer long letters, but no one writes to me." "I'll write." I said.