Chapter 3 third chapter

After that, Izumi and I continued to date for more than a year.Tryst once a week.Watch a movie, go to the library to study together, or just wander around aimlessly.But in the sexual relationship, the two did not develop to the final stage.When my parents were away, I would call her home from time to time.The two hugged each other on my bed, two or three times a month, I remember.However, even when it was just the two of us in the house, she was determined not to take off her clothes.She said that she didn't know when someone would come back. Wouldn't it be embarrassing for someone to come back and see the two of them naked.On this point, Quan is very cautious.I don't think she's timid, it's just that she can't bear to be in embarrassment because of her character.

For this reason, I always hold her through the clothes, and I can only poke my fingers through the gap of the underwear and caress very awkwardly. "Wait," she said whenever I showed disappointment, "wait until I'm ready. Please." To be honest, I'm not in a hurry, I'm just deeply confused and frustrated by many things.Of course I like Quan, thank her for being my girlfriend.Without her, my life before the age of twenty would have been much paler and more boring.On the whole, she was frank and honest, pleasant, and not a few people liked her.It's hard to say we share the same tastes.I think she hardly understands the books I read and the music I listen to.Therefore, we have basically never talked about this aspect on a peer-to-peer basis.In this regard, my relationship with Izumi is very different from my relationship with Shimamoto.

However, as long as I sit beside her and touch her fingers, my heart is suddenly filled with warmth.Even if it is something that is difficult to speak to others, she can speak freely in front of her.I like to kiss her eyelids and lips, I like to brush her hair and kiss those little ears.As soon as he kissed her, she giggled.Thinking of her now, the quiet morning of Sunday always comes to mind.The sun is clear, the sun has just started, there is no homework, nothing, and you can do what you like-she has repeatedly brought me such a Sunday morning mood. Of course she also has shortcomings.It is too stubborn to see certain things, and the imagination is not rich enough.In any case, she would not take a step out of the world on which she had grown so far, and would not be obsessed with the things she liked.She loves and respects her parents.Some of the opinions she expressed—thinking about it today, it is natural for a girl of sixteen or seventeen—are superficial and lack depth, and sometimes I am not interested in hearing them.However, I never once heard her speak ill of others, nor did I ever feel unnecessary complacency.And she likes me, cherishes me, listens to me carefully, and encourages me.I told her a lot about myself and my future—what I want to do in the future, what kind of person I want to be, etc. These are just nonsense dreams that most teenagers in that era talked about, but she He listened attentively, and even encouraged me: "I think you must be a great person, and you have something outstanding in you." And he said it seriously.She was the only one in my life who said that to me.

And to be able to hold her--even through the clothes--would be wonderful.What puzzled and disappointed me was that I had never been able to discover in Quan what was there for me.I could list her many strengths, and the list of strengths is much longer than that of her weaknesses, and probably longer than my list of strengths.Yet she lacks something decisive.If I can find that out of her, I'm afraid I'll sleep with her, I can't stand it.Even if it takes me some time, I'll have to convince her why she has to sleep with me.In the end, however, I didn't have the conviction that I had to do that.Needless to say, I am just a seventeen-year-old reckless teenager full of sexual desire and curiosity, but a certain part of my head is still awake: if she is not willing to do that, then it is not advisable to force it, at least she should be patient and wait The time is right.

But once—just once—Izumi's naked body.I made it clear to Quan that I would no longer want to hug her across the clothes, "It's okay if you don't want to do that kind of thing, but I want to see your naked body anyway, and hug you with nothing on. I need to do this, and I can't bear it anymore." Already!" Quan thought for a while, and said that if you really have that wish, then it's not too bad. "But it's a deal," she said with a serious expression, "I can only let this one step, and I can't do what I don't want to do." She came to my house on the rest day.It was a pleasantly sunny but slightly chilly Sunday in early November.Parents had something to go to a relative's house - a relative on the father's side wanted to do something.I was supposed to take it too, but I said I was going to prepare for the exam, so I was left at home alone.It is estimated that they will come back very late.Quan came in the middle of the day, and they hugged each other on the bed in my room.I undressed her, she closed her eyes, and let me dispose of her in silence.But I struggled a lot.He was already clumsy, and the girl's clothes were really cumbersome.As a result, Quan changed his mind to open his eyes halfway, and simply took off his clothes.She was wearing a pair of baby blue briefs with a matching bra.She must have bought it just for this occasion, because she had been wearing the kind that ordinary mothers buy for their high school daughters.Then I undressed myself.

I put my arms around her naked limbs and kissed her neck and breasts.I was able to touch her slippery skin and smell the scent of her skin.The two of them hugged each other naked and hugged each other tightly.I wanted to go in so badly that I almost went crazy.But she flatly stopped me. "I'm sorry," she said. But instead, she took my thing in her mouth and moved her tongue.She did this for the first time.After sweeping the tip of my tongue a few times, I didn't care about what to think about, and suddenly gushed out. Afterwards, I still hugged Quan's body for a long time, stroking slowly up and down.The autumn sun from the window fell on her naked body.I watched and kissed and kissed many, many places.What a wonderful afternoon.We hug each other naked again and again.I cum several times.Every time she ejaculates, she goes to the bathroom to rinse her mouth.

"It's an incredible feeling." Quan said with a smile. Izumi and I have been dating for over a year, but this Sunday afternoon was without a doubt the happiest time the two of us have spent together.With both naked, it felt like there was nothing to hide anymore.I feel I understand Izumi better than ever, and Izumi must have felt the same way.What is needed is a small accumulation, not just words and promises, but also a careful accumulation of small and specific facts one by one. Only in this way can the two of them move forward step by step.That's what she's after, I think it boils down to this.

Izumi rested his head on my chest for a long time, motionless as if he was listening to my heartbeat.I stroke her hair.I am seventeen years old, healthy and about to become an adult.This is indeed a happy thing. Unexpectedly, when she was about to go back at four o'clock, the doorbell rang.I ignored it at first.I don't know who came from, but as long as you ignore it, he will leave in a while.But the bell rang persistently.Hate. "Didn't your family come back?" Quan said with a livid face, got off the bed, and gathered his clothes. "I'm not afraid. It's impossible to come back so soon. Besides, I wouldn't deliberately ring the doorbell and bring the key."

"My shoes," she said. "shoe?" "My shoes are at the door." I dressed and got out of bed, hid Quan's shoes in the slipper box, and opened the door.Aunt stood outside the door.mother's sister.I live alone an hour away by train from my house, and I often visit my house. "What are you doing? I've been pressing it for a long time!" she said. "I'm listening to music with earphones, so I didn't hear it." I said, "But my parents are away, and I went to attend a religious ceremony, and I won't come back until the evening. You should know, I think."

"I know, I know. I happened to be here on business, and I heard that you were working at home, so I stopped by to make dinner. I bought everything." "I said aunt, I can make dinner by myself, and I'm not a child." "Anyway, I bought everything, so what's the matter. Aren't you busy? I'll cook, so you can study slowly at that time." Well, I complained in my heart, wishing I could die all at once.This way, Quan would never want to go back.In my house, you have to go through the living room to get to the door, and you have to go through the kitchen when you go out.Of course, you can also introduce to your aunt that Quan is a classmate who came to play.The problem is that I should be studying hard at home for the exam now.Therefore, if the fact that the girl was called to the house was exposed, the consequences would be quite embarrassing.It is almost impossible to ask my aunt to hide it from my parents.My aunt is not a bad person, but she just can't hold a word, no matter what it is.

While my aunt was in the kitchen preparing food, I picked up Izumi's shoes and ran up to my room on the second floor.She has all the clothes on.I told her about the situation. Her face turned blue: "What can I do! What can I do if I can't go out all the time! I have to go home before dinner, and it will be too troublesome if I can't go back." "Don't be afraid, there is always a way to think about it. You don't need to worry if you are safe." I advised her to calm down.But I also don't know what to do at all, and I can't figure it out. "By the way, where are the sock clips in the tight shorts? I was so excited to find them. Didn't I see them anywhere?" "Socks for tight shorts?" I asked. "Small thing, such a big metal card." I looked under and under the bed, but couldn't find it. "Forget it, don't wear stockings when you go back, sorry." Going to the kitchen, Aunt Chele is at the cooking table.Said that there is not enough salad oil, and told me where to buy it.I had no reason to refuse, so I rode my bicycle and went to a nearby store to buy salad oil.It was completely dark all around.I became more and more worried that Quan might not be able to leave the house.In any case, we have to find a way before our parents come back. "It seems that there is no other way, but to slip away quietly when my aunt enters the health clinic." I said to Quan. "Can it work?" "Try it. It's not the way to sit and wait." The two agreed: I went downstairs, and my aunt clapped her hands loudly as soon as she entered the bathroom, and she immediately went downstairs to put on her shoes and go out.If you escape successfully, call me from the phone booth not far ahead. My aunt sang happily while chopping vegetables, making miso soup, and frying eggs.The problem is that a lot of time has passed, but she refuses to go to the bathroom anyway, which makes me feel anxious.I figured the woman might have an extra-large bladder.Fortunately, just when I was about to lose heart, my aunt finally took off her apron and walked out of the kitchen.Seeing her walking into the bathroom, I rushed into the living room and clapped my hands hard twice.Quan went downstairs with his shoes, put them on quickly, and tiptoed out of the room.I went into the kitchen to make sure she made it out safely.Almost at the same time, my aunt came out of the bathroom.I let out a sigh. Five minutes later Quan called.I told my aunt to come back in fifteen minutes, and then I went out.She was standing in front of the phone booth waiting for me. "I don't want to do this anymore." Quan said before I could speak, "I won't do this kind of thing a second time." She was a little distraught.I took her to a park near the station, sat her on a bench, and gently held her hand. Izumi wore a camel-colored jacket over his red sweater.I am emotionally thinking about the contents there. "It's been a wonderful day though, of course I mean before my aunt comes. Don't you think so?" I said. "Of course I'm happy too. I'm always happy when I'm with you. But when I'm alone, I don't know many things." "Like what?" "For example, things in the future, after high school graduation. You will probably go to Tokyo to go to college, and I will stay here to go to college. Where do we go from here? How are you going to treat me?" I had decided to go to university in Tokyo after graduating from high school, and thought it necessary to leave here and live alone without my parents. From the perspective of comprehensive grades, my academic rankings are not very encouraging, but I have achieved not bad grades in a few of my favorite subjects without serious study, so it seems that going to a private university with few exam subjects will not be too strenuous.But it is basically impossible for her to go to Tokyo with me. Izumi's parents want to keep their daughter with them. It is hard to think that Izumi will resist. She has never rebelled against her parents before. So it goes without saying that Izumi wanted me to stay.She said that there are good universities here too, why bother to go to Tokyo.If I say no to Tokyo, she will sleep with me right away. "Look at you, it's not like going to a foreign country, you can run back and forth in three hours. Besides, the university holidays are long, and you stay here for three or four months a year." I said.I've said it to her dozens of times. "But once you get out of here, you'll forget about me and go find other girls," she said.It's been said to me dozens of times. Each time I assured her it couldn't be that way. "I like you, how can I forget you so quickly!" But to be honest, I really don't have that much confidence.After all, there are situations where the flow of time and emotions changes suddenly due to changing places.I remembered the separation between myself and Shimamoto.Although the two are so similar, after moving in junior high school, I took a different path from her.I like her, and she also asks me to play, but in the end I still don't go to her. "Some things I don't quite understand." Quan said, "You said you liked me and you said you would cherish me, I understand that. But sometimes I can't figure out what you are actually thinking." Having said that, she took a handkerchief from the pocket of her jacket and wiped her tears.That's when I noticed that she was crying.I didn't know what to say, so I could only wait for her to continue. "You must like to think about all kinds of things in your own head, and you don't like being watched. Maybe this is because you are an only child. You are used to thinking and dealing with various things by yourself. It’s enough for one person to understand.” As he spoke, Quan shook his head, “This often makes me uneasy, as if I’ve been left alone.” It's been a long time since I heard the word "only born in".I don't know how much this word hurt me in elementary school, but now Izumi uses it in a completely different sense.When she said that I was "because you are the only child", she didn't mean that I was a spoiled child, but that I had a personality that tended to be lonely, and that it was difficult for me to get out of my own world.She didn't blame me, she just felt sad about it. "I'm also happy to be able to hug you like that, maybe everything will be so smooth," Shiquan said partingly, "The problem is that it's impossible to be so easy." I kept thinking about her words on the way home from the station.I can roughly understand what she wants to say.I'm not used to opening up to other people.I think Quan is opening up to me, and I can't.Although I liked Quan, I didn't accept her in a real sense. The distance from the station to home has been traveled thousands of times, but it is so strange to me at this moment.As I walked, I thought about Izumi's naked body that I cuddled in the afternoon, the hardened nipples, the flimsy hair, the plump and soft thighs.Thinking about it, my heart gradually became uncomfortable.I bought a pack of cigarettes from the vending machine at the cigarette shop, returned to the park bench where Izumi had just sat, and lit a cigarette to calm down. If the aunt hadn't come to the door suddenly, everything might have gone smoothly.If there is nothing, I think we will be much happier and get more happiness when we part.However, even if my aunt doesn't come today, I'm afraid something will happen sooner or later. Even if it doesn't happen today, it will happen tomorrow.The key problem is not to convince her.As for why I couldn't convince her, it was because I couldn't convince myself. The sunset is dark and the wind suddenly turns cold, telling me that winter is approaching.And one year later, the college entrance examination season will come in the blink of an eye, and what awaits me next will be a brand new life in a brand new world.Presumably the new environment will greatly change me as a person, and I am eagerly longing-although apprehensive-for such a change.My body and mind longed for strange places and fresh air. Many universities were occupied by students that year, and waves of demonstrations swept across Tokyo.The world is about to undergo tremendous changes before my eyes, and I want to feel its heat directly with my body.Even though Quan earnestly hopes that I will stay here, even if she agrees to sleep with me in exchange, I never want to stay in this quiet and elegant town—even if it ends the relationship between her and me.If I stay here, everything about me will disappear completely.But that cannot go away.It is like a hazy dream.There was a high fever and labor pains, dreams that a person can only have during the limited period of seventeen or eighteen years old. At the same time, it was a dream that Izumi could not understand.At that time, what she was chasing was another form of dream, another world. But before my new life in Shincheonji actually began, my relationship with Izumi ended up breaking unexpectedly and suddenly.