Chapter 15 Chapter 13 Schubert's Sonatas

In the middle of the afternoon, I was looking at the garden and eating, when Oshima came and sat beside me.There are no other readers except me that day.What I ate was the same as before, nothing more than the cheapest box lunch I bought at a small shop at the station.We chatted for a while.Oshima gave me half of the sandwich he had for lunch and said he made an extra one for me today. "So you may not like it—you always look like you're hungry from the sidelines." "It's making my stomach smaller," I explained. "Deliberately?" He looked interested. I nod.

"For financial reasons?" I nod again. "I can understand the intention, but in any case, it's when you can eat, and it's best to be full when you can eat. In many ways, you are in a period when you need to take in adequate nutrition." The sandwich he gave looked delicious, so I thanked him and took it.Smoked salmon, watercress and lettuce are sandwiched between white and soft bread.The crust was crispy and crispy.Horseradish with butter. He poured straight espresso from the jug into a large mug, and I drank milk from my own soft pack. "What are you staring at here?"

"I'm reading the complete works of Soseki." I said, "There are a few books left, and I want to take this opportunity to read them all." "I like Soseki so much that I have to read all the works." Oshima said. I nod. White air came out from the mouth of the cup in Oshima's hand.The sky was still overcast, but the rain had stopped. "What have you seen since you came here?" "Now it's Poppie, before it was Miner." ""The Miner"?" Oshima seemed to be sorting out his vague memory, "I remember that it was about a student in Tokyo who worked in a mine by accident, experienced cruel labor among the miners, and returned to the outside world. A novella I read it a long time ago. The content is not quite like Soseki's work, and the writing is rough. Generally speaking, it is the worst one among Soseki's works... What do you think is interesting?"

I tried to put into tangible words what I had vaguely felt about this novel before, but I needed the help of a boy named Crow for this task.He spread his wings and flew over from nowhere, and found some words for me. "Although the protagonist is a son of a rich family, he had a love affair and couldn't end it, so he lost all thoughts and ran away from home. While running aimlessly, a miner who behaved strangely asked him if he should be a miner. Work in the mines, go down to the deep underground, and experience unimaginable labor there. In other words, the young masters who don’t know the world are crawling around in places similar to the bottom of society.” I drank milk and searched. words and sentences.It will take some time for the boy named Crow to return, but Oshima waited patiently.

"It was a life-and-death experience. Later, I left anyway and returned to life outside the well. As for what lessons the protagonist has learned from that experience, whether his attitude towards life has changed as a result, whether he has had in-depth thinking about life, and whether he has a deep understanding of social conditions. I have doubts... I haven't written any of these kinds of works, and he has almost no such bones as a person growing up. After reading it, I have an inexplicable mood-what is this novel trying to say? But how? Speaking of which, the part of 'I don't know what to say' is strangely stuck in my heart. It's hard to express clearly."

"What you want to say is that the formation of the novel "The Miner" is very different from the so-called modern upbringing novels like "Sanshiro", isn't it?" I nodded: "Well, it's too difficult. I don't understand it. Maybe it's like that. Sanshiro grows up in the story. He hits a wall, thinks seriously after hitting a wall, and strives to overcome it. Not bad? The protagonist of "The Miner" is completely different. For He just looked at the things that appeared in front of him endlessly, and accepted them as they were. Of course, there were temporary feelings and the like, but they were not particularly serious things, or rather, he was always looking back at himself with a frown. At least on the surface, there is not much difference between the state when he went down the well and the state after he came out of the well. In other words, he hardly made his own judgment or choice. How should I put it, he lived a very passive life. But I think so : People are actually very difficult to choose with one’s own power.”

"So you superimposed yourself to some extent on the protagonist of The Miner?" I shook my head: "That's not what I meant, I never thought about it that way." "But human beings have to attach themselves to something in order to survive." Oshima said, "It has to be like that. You will inevitably follow the same pattern unconsciously. As Goethe said, everything in the world is a metaphor." I thought about it. Oshima took a sip of coffee from his cup and said, "Anyway, your opinion on Soseki's "The Miner" is very interesting, especially as the opinion of a boy who actually ran away from home sounds particularly convincing. Very Want to read it again."

I ate up the sandwiches Oshima made for me, crumpled the milk cartons and threw them in the wastebasket. "Oshima, I have a troublesome matter, and there is no one else to discuss it with except you." I said decisively. He spread his hands and made a sign of "please speak". "It's a long story. Simply put, I have nowhere to live tonight. Sleeping bag, so no need for futons and beds, just a roof. Anywhere. Do you know this place with a roof?" "A hotel isn't an option for you, I suppose, eh?" I shook my head. "There are financial reasons too. There is also the consideration of being as inconspicuous as possible."

"I'm especially worried about the police officers in the Juvenile Division." "perhaps." Oshima thought for a moment, "In this case, just live here." "This library?" "Yes. There is a roof, and there are empty rooms, and no one uses them at night." "Is it appropriate to do so?" "Of course there will be some kind of coordination, but it's possible, or not impossible. I think I can manage to do it." "How to do it?" "You read useful books, and you can think with your own head. You look strong and self-reliant. You live a regular life, and you can even deliberately shrink your stomach. I will discuss with Zuobo and try to let you be me assistant, sleeping in a spare room in the library."

"I'll be your Oshima's assistant?" "It's an assistant, but it's actually not a big deal. It's just helping me open and close the door of the library. There are people who specialize in this field for substantive cleaning. The computer input is handed over to experts. There is nothing else to do. The rest of the time Just enjoy reading. Isn’t it bad?” said Oshima. "Of course it's not bad, but..." I don't know what to say, "But, I don't think Saeki will agree anyway. After all, I'm only fifteen years old, and I'm a boy who ran away from home with unknown background."

"Saeki, how should I put it..." At this point, Oshima rarely paused to search for words, "unusual." "unusual?" "Simply put, it's not thinking about things in terms of conventional standards." I nod.But I can't figure out what it means specifically not to think about things in terms of conventional standards. "Does that mean he is a special person?" Oshima shook her head and said, "No, that's not the case. If I say special, I am a special person. As far as she is concerned, it just means that she is not bound by common sense rules and regulations." I still haven't figured out the difference between unusual and special, but I think it's better not to ask, at least for now. Oshima paused for a moment and said: "But yes, I'm afraid it's a little bit reluctant to stay here tonight, so I have to take you to another place first. You will stay there for two or three days before the matter is settled. Doesn't matter? The place is a little farther away from here." I said it doesn't matter. "The library closes at five o'clock." Oshima said, "Clean up and leave here at half past five. You take my car and I will pull you there. There is no one there right now, except for the roof." "thanks." "Thank you when you get there. It may not be a lot different from what you expected." Go back to the reading room and continue watching "Poppy Grass".I was not a fast reader, I was the type to read line by line.The joy of writing.If the poems are not enjoyable, it must be abandoned halfway.When it was almost five o'clock, I read the novel to the end, put it back on the bookshelf, then sat on the sofa and closed my eyes, thinking wistfully about what happened last night.Thinking of Sakura, thinking of her room, thinking of what she did for me.Many things change, pushing forward. At 5:30, I waited for Oshima to come out at the gate of the Komura library.He led me to the back parking lot and let me sit in Xishan, the assistant of the green racing car.Mazda convertible top.The canopy is closed.Chic open double row seats.But the luggage seat was too small to fit my rucksack, so I had to tie it to the luggage rack at the back with a rope. "The driving time is quite long, let's stop somewhere for dinner on the way." As he said, he started the engine and started the fire. "Where are you going?" "Kochi." He said, "Been there?" I shake my head. "how far?" "Yeah... It takes about two and a half hours to reach the destination. Over the mountain and head south." "Is it okay to go that far?" "No problem. The road is straight and straight and clear, the sun is still on, and the gas tank is full." In the evening, we drove through the city and took the westbound highway first.He skillfully changed lanes and shuttled between cars, shifting gears frequently with his left hand, sometimes decelerating and sometimes accelerating.Every rev of the engine changes slightly.Whenever he depresses the gear lever and slams the accelerator to the bottom, the speed of the car will exceed one hundred and forty kilometers in an instant. "The transmission is special, and the speed increases quickly. This is different from ordinary Mazda racing cars. Familiar with the car?" I shake my head.I don't know anything about cars or anything. "Do you like driving?" "The doctor forbade me to engage in dangerous sports, so I drove instead. Compensatory behavior." "Is there any discomfort in your body?" "The name of the disease is very long, but in short, it is a kind of hemophilia." Oshima said nonchalantly, "Do you know about hemophilia?" "Roughly." I said.Taught in biology class. "Once it bleeds, it can't stop. Blood doesn't clot because of genetics." "Correct. There are many kinds of hemophilia, and I am a relatively rare one. Although it is not fatal, you must be careful and try not to get injured. Once bleeding, you have to go to the hospital first. And you know, ordinary hospitals Many times there are various problems with the blood stored in the city. Being infected with AIDS and waiting to die is not an option in my life. So, I have special access to blood in this city. For this reason, I do not travel. Except for regular visits to a university in Hiroshima Affiliated hospital, I almost never leave here. Besides, I don’t like travel and sports very much, so I don’t feel uncomfortable. It’s just a bit inconvenient to cook, and it’s a sad thing that I can’t really cook with a kitchen knife.” "Driving is also quite a dangerous sport, I think." "There are different types of danger. When I drive, I drive as fast as possible. If I drive at a high speed, a traffic accident is not a small accident like breaking a finger. And if there is a lot of bleeding, hemophiliacs, healthy people, and living conditions It’s not much different. Fair! You don’t have to think about the long-winded things like solidification or not, and you can die comfortably and without worries.” "really." Oshima smiled and said, "But don't worry, nothing will happen easily. Don't look at it like this, I am very cautious in character, I never force myself, and the car itself is kept in top condition. Besides, when I die, I want to be alone and quietly Die." "It's not in Oshima's life choice to choose who to die with." "correct." We walked into the restaurant at the motorway service station for dinner.I had chicken nuggets and salad, he had seafood curry and salad.Diet for the purpose of satisfying hunger.He pays the bill.Then get in the car and move forward.It was completely dark all around.As soon as he stepped on the accelerator, the pointer of the engine tachometer jumped up suddenly. "Is it okay to listen to music?" Oshima asked. I said yes. He pressed the play button of the CD player, and classical piano music played.I listened to the music for a while.Generally audible.Not Beethoven, not Schumann, chronologically in between. "Schubert?" "Not bad." He put his hands on the steering wheel at ten o'clock on the clock, and glanced at me for a moment. "Like Schubert's music?" I said I don't particularly like it. Oshima nodded and said, "When driving, I often listen to Schubert's piano sonatas at high volume. Do you know why?" "do not know." "Because playing Franz Schubert's piano sonata perfectly is one of the most difficult assignments in the world. Especially this sonata in D major is extremely difficult. Take one or two movements of this work alone, There are some pianists who can play perfectly to some extent, but as far as I know, there is not a single one that is satisfactory when you put the four movements together and deliberately listen to it from the perspective of harmony. So far Countless pianists have challenged this piece, but all have obvious flaws, and there has been no performance worthy of this one. Guess why?" "I don't know." I said. "Because the piece itself is not perfect. Robert Schumann is indeed a rare confidant of Schubert's piano music, but even he called it as long as the road to heaven." "Since the piece itself is not perfect, why do so many pianists challenge it?" "Good question." After speaking, Oshima paused.Music enveloped the silence. "It is also difficult for me to explain in detail. But one thing can be asserted: a certain imperfection attracts people's hearts powerfully because of its imperfection-at least a certain kind of people's hearts are powerfully attracted. Soseki's "The Miner". Because there is an attraction that such perfect works as "Kotoko" and "Sanshiro" do not have. You discovered that work. In other words, that work discovered you. Schubert's D The same is true of the major sonata, which has a way of touching the heart that only that work has.” "So," I said, "back to the previous question—why do you listen to Schubert's sonatas, especially while driving?" "Schubert's sonatas, especially those in D major, are not considered art if they are performed in one go as they are. As Schumann pointed out, they are too long as a madrigal, and technically too single. If they are played faithfully, It is bound to become a tasteless antique. That's why the pianists show their special skills and unique ingenuity. For example, here, here, the emphasis is on inheritance, here, it is deliberately slowed down, here it is particularly accelerated, and here the heights are scattered. Otherwise, the rhythm will not come out. And if one is not careful, such calculations will disintegrate the style of the work, and it will no longer be Schubert's music. Any pianist who plays this D major struggles with this antinomy, Without exception." Oshima listened to the music, hummed the melody, and continued, "I often listen to Schubert while driving. In a sense, they are all imperfect performances. High-quality dense imperfections can stimulate people's consciousness and arouse attention. If you listen to such perfect music and perfect performance as driving, you might want to close your eyes One dies. And I listened to the sonata in D major, from which I heard the limitations of human activities, and learned that a certain kind of imperfection can only be embodied through the aggregation of countless imperfections, which encouraged me. I Do you understand what you said?" "more or less." "I'm sorry," Oshima said, "I'm in a tizzy just talking about this." "But there are many types of imperfections, and there are degrees, right?" I asked. "nature." "Comparatively speaking, it's okay—among the sonatas in D major that you've heard before, whose performance do you think is the best?" "Very difficult question," he said. Oshima thought about it.He pressed the shift button, moved to the overtaking lane, chased after the large refrigerated truck of the transport company in a gust of wind, pulled up the gear again, and returned to the lane. "I don't mean to scare you. On the highway at night, this green racing car is the most difficult to see. It is very dangerous if you are not careful, especially in tunnels. Logically, the color of the racing car should be painted red, so it is easy to see .Ferrari is mostly red because of this reason." He said, "But I just like green. Danger also needs green. Green is the color of forest trees, and red is the color of blood." He glanced at his watch and hummed to the music again. "Generally speaking, Brady and Ashkenazy are the most cohesive as playing. But frankly, I personally don't like their playing, or I'm not attracted to it. Schubert, let me In other words, it is music that challenges and defeats the state of being of all things. This is the essence of Romanticism. In this sense, Schubert's music is the essence of Romanticism." I pay attention to Schubert's sonatas. "How, monotonous music?" "Indeed." I said. "Schubert is music that can only be understood after training. When I first listened to it, I also felt monotonous. Of course at your age. But you will soon understand. In this world, things that are not monotonous make people very happy." It's boring, and it's mostly monotonous things that don't bore you. It's always been the same. I can have time in my life to play with monotony, but there is no room for boredom. And most people can't tell the difference between the two." "When you said you were a 'special person', did you mean hemophilia?" "That's true." After that, he looked at me and smiled slightly.A smile that seemed to have a devilish undertone. "But not only, there are others." After Schubert's lengthy sonata on Paradise Road ended, we stopped listening to the music and naturally kept silent, committing ourselves to the boundless thoughts woven by silence.I half-watched at the road signs that appeared one after another.After turning south and past the intersection, long tunnels flashed out one by one.Oshima concentrated on overtaking the car.When catching up with a large car, there was a low roar of the air next to my ear, like the movement of a soul coming out of its body.Every now and then I glance back to make sure the rucksack is still strapped to the luggage rack at the back. "The place we are going to is in the deep mountains and old forests. It is hard to say that it is a comfortable place to live. During the time you live there, you may not see anyone. There is no radio, TV, or telephone." Oshima said: "There is no place like that. in the way?" I said no problem. "You're used to being alone," Oshima said. I nod. "However, there are many kinds of loneliness, and there may be loneliness that you can't expect." "Like what kind?" Oshima tapped the glasses bridge with his fingertips: "No comment. Because loneliness is ever-changing because of you." Drive off the expressway and enter the general national road.Not far from the exit of the expressway, there is a small town along the road with a small supermarket.Oshima stopped the car and bought so much food that a person could barely lift a bag.Vegetables and fruits, soda crackers, milk and mineral water, canned food, bread, cooked food, almost all things that can be eaten directly without cooking.Still paid by him.When I was about to pay, he silently shook his head. We got in the car again and headed down the road.I was holding a grocery bag that couldn't fit in the luggage seat on the passenger seat.Driving out of the town, the road is completely dark, there are fewer and fewer people, and fewer and fewer cars.The road was so narrow that it was difficult to drive in the opposite direction, but Oshima turned his headlights on to the fullest and drove fast with little slowing down.Braking and acceleration are switched frequently, and the car gears go back and forth between 2 and 3.The expression had faded from Oshima's face, and he was concentrating on driving, lips shut, eyes fixed on a point in the darkness ahead, right hand on the steering wheel, left hand on the short shift knob. Soon, the left side of the road turned into a cliff, and there seemed to be a mountain stream flowing below.The corners became sharper and sharper, the road surface became unstable, and the rear of the car swayed back and forth with an exaggerated sound.But I don't think about the danger anymore, and causing a traffic accident here is probably not one of his life options. The watch number is close to 9.I opened the car window a little, and the cool air rushed in.The surrounding echoes are also different.We are heading deeper into the mountains.The road finally left the cliff (somewhat to my relief) and drove into the forest.Tall trees rose around us like magic, headlights licking their trunks one by one.The asphalt pavement was long gone, and the wheels rolled over the stones, which bounced off the car body and made a crisp sound.The lights jumped up and down eagerly following the potholes on the road.The stars and the moon did not come out, and the drizzle beat the glass of the front window from time to time. "Do you come here often?" I asked. "It used to be. Now I have a job, so I don't come here much. My brother is a surfer, lives on the coast of Kochi, runs a surf shop, builds small motorboats, and occasionally he comes to live. Can you surf?" No rush, I said. "Have a chance to have my brother teach you. A very good surfer!" Oshima said, "You can tell when you meet him, quite different from me: tall, taciturn, socially awkward, tanned, like Beer, can't tell the difference between Schubert and Wagner. But we are very good." After another journey along the mountain road, through several deep forests, we finally arrived at our destination.Oshima stopped the car, jumped out of the car with the engine on, unlatched what looked like a barbed wire fence and pushed it open.After a while, a slightly flatter place appeared before the eyes, where the road ended.Oshima stopped the car, let out a long breath in the driver's seat, brushed his forehead hair back with both hands, turned the key to turn off the engine, and pulled the parking brake. After the engine was turned off, a heavy silence prevailed.The cooling fan started to turn, and the overheated engine was exposed to the outside air, making a "sizzling" sound.You can see the slight heat rising from the hood.There seemed to be a small river flowing very close by, and the sound of the water flowed low.The wind sometimes makes symbolic sounds far overhead.I open the car door and get out.The air was thick with cold, and I zipped the windbreaker over my T-shirt up to my chin. There is a small building in front of you.Shaped like a small shack.Because it was too dark, the details couldn't be seen clearly, only the black outline emerged with the forest as the background.Oshima kept the car lights on, walked slowly with a small flashlight in his hand, climbed up a few steps to the verandah, took out the key from his pocket to open the door, entered the door, struck a match and lit the lamp, and then stood on the veranda in front of the door with his hands in his hands. Shading the lights greeted me: "Welcome to the humble house!" His figure is like an illustration in a classical chapter novel. I climbed the cornice steps and entered the building.Oshima lit a large kerosene lamp hanging from the ceiling. There is only one large room in the shape of a box in the building.There is a small bed in the corner.There was a table for eating, two wooden chairs, and an old sofa.The sofa cushions were sunburned beyond redemption.It looks like a collection of unwanted furniture from several families.There is a bookshelf made of thick wooden boards padded with blocks, and many books are lined up on it.The spines of the books are very old and have been actually seen.There is an old-fashioned wooden box for clothes, a simple kitchen with countertops, a small gas stove, and a sink.But there is no sewer, and an aluminum bucket next to it is a substitute.There are pots and pots on wooden shelves.Skillets hang on the wall.There was a black iron wood stove in the middle of the room. "My brother built the hut pretty much all by himself. Extensively remodeled from an existing woodcutter's shack. Quite a coincidence. I also helped a little when I was a kid, as long as I didn't get hurt. It’s not my boast, it’s extremely primitive. As I said just now, there’s no electricity, no sewers, and no toilets. As a product of civilization, there’s barely liquefied gas.” Oshima picked up the pot, rinsed it briefly with mineral water, and prepared to boil the water. "This mountain originally belonged to my grandfather. My grandfather was a rich man in Kochi and had a lot of land and property. After he passed away more than ten years ago, my brother and I inherited this mountain forest as an inheritance. Basically a whole mountain. Other relatives No one wants such a place, because it is remote, and secondly, it has almost no property value. As a mountain forest, people must be hired to take care of it, and that is quite expensive.” I opened the curtains and looked out, but on the opposite side there was only thick darkness like a wall connected to one side. "It was when you were your age," Oshima put the Camomer teabag into the pot, "I have been here several times, and I lived alone. During that time, I didn't see anyone or talk to anyone. Brother He half-forced me to do that. People with my disease usually don’t allow that, because it’s dangerous to stay alone in this kind of place, but my brother doesn’t care about it.” He leaned on the kitchen countertop and waited for the water to boil open. "My brother didn't want to train me strictly. I didn't have that kind of idea. It was just because he believed that it was necessary for me to do that. But it is indeed good. Life here is a very meaningful experience for me. I can read many books and Thinking slowly by myself. To be honest, since a certain period of time, I almost didn’t go to school. Whether I like to come to school or not, the school doesn’t like me very much. How should I put it, because I’m different. Junior high school can be regarded as a way to get out of favor. Now, I will be single-handed in the future, just like you now. Have you said that?" I shook my head: "So you treat me well?" "There are." He paused for a moment, "but not all." Oshima handed me a teacup and drank it himself.The hot Camomer tea calmed down the nerves that had been excited during the long journey. Da Dao glanced at his watch: "It's almost time for me to go back, let me briefly introduce it. There is a clear and clear river nearby, and I need to carry water there. It is the water that gushes out not far away, and you can drink it directly. It is more authentic than any mineral water." There are a lot. There are piles of firewood inside, and the stove is used when it is cold. It is cold enough here, even in August, I sometimes have to light a fire. The stove is used as a stove, and I can cook simple meals. In addition, there are various jobs in the tool room at the back You can find the tools you need according to your needs. There are my brother’s clothes in the box, just wear them casually, he won’t mind who wears his clothes one by one.” Oshima put his hands on his hips and looked around the room. "As soon as you look at it, you can see that the cabin is not built for romantic purposes, but if you only consider survival, it should be no inconvenience. Another word of advice: it is best not to go into the depths of the forest. It is a very deep forest, and there are no roads. A decent one. When walking into the woods, always keep the hut in sight. If you go further inside, you may get lost, and once you get lost, it will be difficult to get back. I also suffered a big loss. It took me half a day to turn left and right at a distance of one meter. Maybe you think that Japan is a small country, so why do you get lost in the forest and can’t get out, but once you get lost, the forest is so deep that it has no end.” I took his advice to heart. "Also, it's best not to think about going down the mountain, unless there is a very urgent situation. It's too far away from the place where there are people. Just wait here, I will come to pick you up soon. It is estimated that I will come within two or three days , the food for two or three days is ready. By the way, can you bring your mobile phone?" I said I brought it, and checked the rucksack with my fingers. He smiled lightly: "Then put it there. The mobile phone can't be used here, the radio waves can't reach it at all, and of course the radio can't be heard. That is to say——you are completely isolated from the world. You can read as many books as you want." I suddenly thought of a practical question: "If there is no toilet, where is it convenient?" Da Dao spread his hands wide: "This vast and deep forest is all yours, and it's up to you to decide where the toilet is."