Chapter 41 41

Four days after Gotanda sank the Mercedes, I called Yuki.Honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone.Only Tong Xue had to say it.She was languid, alone, and still a child, and there was no one else who could protect her but me.What's more, she is still alive in the first place.It is my duty to keep her alive, or so I feel. Yuki is not at home in Hakone.Yu answered the phone and said that her daughter went to the Akasaka apartment the day before yesterday.She had just woken up from a doze and was slurring her speech.And he didn't talk much, and he played in my arms.I called Akasaka.Xue was probably next to the phone and picked it up right away.

"Can you do it without being in Hakone?" I asked. "I don't know. Anyway, I want to spend some time alone. How can I say that my mother is an adult? She can get by without me. I want to think about my own affairs a little bit, and think about how to take the next step. I'm here too It’s time to take these kinds of issues seriously.” "Almost." I agreed. "Read it in the papers—your friend is dead." "Hmm. Cursed 'Mercedes,' as you say." Snow was silent for a while.The silence flooded my ears like water.I switched the earpiece from the right ear to the left.

"Aren't you going out to eat?" I asked, "Didn't eat anything decent? The two of you went to eat something better. To be honest, I haven't eaten or drank much these days. I can't get my appetite to eat alone." "There's an appointment at two o'clock, it's fine before that." I look at my watch: it's just after 11 o'clock. "Okay, I'll pack up and pick you up. I'll be there in 20 minutes." I changed my clothes, drank the orange juice drink from the refrigerator, and put the car keys and wallet in my pockets.Just as I was about to go out, I felt that I forgot something.Yes, I forgot to shave.I went into the bathroom and shaved carefully.While looking in the mirror, I thought: Is it true that I am in my 20s and 30s?There should be favors.But whether I look like my 20s or 30s, no one cares about such things.It doesn't matter if it looks like it or not.After shaving, I brushed my teeth again.

It was bright and clear outside.Summer is here.As long as it doesn't rain, it's a pretty comfortable season.Wearing a half-sleeved shirt, thin cloth pants, and sunglasses, I drove the "Lion" to Xue's apartment.Even whistled. Just right, I thought. summer. I thought about School of the Woods as I drove.The forest school stipulates a nap at 3 o'clock.And I couldn't get a nap anyway.I can't sleep even if I ask for sleep.But most people sleep soundly.So I kept looking at the ceiling for an hour, and during the time I kept looking at it, I felt that the ceiling was an independent world. .I've been thinking about it that way.So when I think of the school in the woods, all I can think of is the ceiling.Exactly.

Cedric ① behind him honked his horn three times.The signal has turned green.Be calm!It's useless to be in a hurry, and there's no good place to go in a hurry, right?I started the car slowly. ① Japanese car brand name. As soon as I went to the apartment and pressed the doorbell, the snow fell immediately.She was wearing an elegant half-sleeve print dress, sandals on her feet, and a dark green leather bag on her shoulder. "It's a new look today!" I said. "Didn't you say there is a date at two o'clock?" "Very decent and elegant," I said. "Very grown-up."

She just smiled lightly and didn't make a sound. We went into a nearby restaurant and had vermicelli with salmon, sea bass and salad, and soup.Since it was less than 12 o'clock, the store was very empty, and the taste was pure enough. After 12 o'clock, when the company staff rushed to the street, we had already left the store and got on the bus. "Where are you going?" I asked. "Not going anywhere, just wandering around in this area." "Antagonizing society and wasting gasoline!" I said.But Xue ignored it, acting as if she didn't hear anything.Forget it, I think, anyway, this area is already in a mess, even if the air is a little more polluted and the traffic is a little more chaotic, what will happen?

Xue pressed the key of the car stereo, and there was a tape of Talking Heads in it, probably "Music Expo".Who put it in?Many things are lost from memory. "I'm going to hire a tutor." She said, "I'm going to see that person today, girl, my father found it. I told my father that I want to study, and he found it the next day, saying that she is a very responsible person. .It's strange to say that after watching that movie, I kind of want to learn." "Which movie?" I asked back, "Wishful Wishing?" "Yes, that's it." Xue blushed a little, "Even I thought it was funny. Anyway, after watching that movie, I suddenly had the idea of ​​studying. Probably because I saw your friend playing the role of a teacher in it." That guy, I thought he was stupid at the time, but he still seems to have a charisma, and he must have talent."

"Yes, to have a certain talent, indeed." "Ok." "Of course it's acting, it's fiction, it's different from reality. Understand?" "Know." "The dentist also performed well, vividly. But after all, it is an act on the spot. The vividness is just the feeling when looking at it, and the image. In fact, it is very hard and frustrating to do one thing, because there are too many interesting parts. But what you want to do is a good thing after all, and it is impossible to live a fulfilling life without this kind of desire. I'm afraid Gotanda will be happy to hear it."

"Meet him?" "See you," I said, "we met and talked. He talked a lot, very frankly, and died after talking with me. After talking with me, he drove the 'Mercedes-Benz' into the sea." "Blame me?" I shook my head slowly: "No, no one is to blame. There is always a corresponding reason for death. It looks simple but not simple. The root is the same. A lot will come out one after another. Human consciousness is rooted and grown in the dark depths. It is intertwined and criss-crossed... There are too many parts that cannot be analyzed. Only I can understand the real reason, and even I am ignorant .”

He kept his hand on the handle of the exit door, and I thought he was biding his time.No one is to blame. "But you must hate me for that," Snow said. "There's nothing to hate." "Even if you don't hate it now, you will definitely hate it in the future." "I won't hate in the future, I won't hate others like that." "Even if you don't hate, something must disappear." She whispered, "Really." I glanced at her face: "Strange, you and Gotanda said exactly the same thing." "yes?" "Yes. He has been obsessed with the fact that something will disappear. Why should that be? Everything disappears sooner or later. We all move to exist, and everything around us changes with us. It will disappear. This is beyond our control. It will disappear when it should disappear, and it will not disappear when it does not disappear. For example, you will grow up. In two years, this beautiful dress will become out of size , you might feel trite about Talking Heads, too. And never want to go for a ride with me again. There's no way around it, just go with the flow and think about it."

"But I will always like you, and it has nothing to do with time, I think." "It makes me happy to say that, I hope so," I said, "but to be fair, you don't know time yet, and there are many things better left unanswered. Time is the same thing as corruption. Unexpected What is seen changes in unexpected ways, and no one can know." She pondered for a long time.After turning side A of the tape, flip to side B. summer.On the streets and at the end of the street, summer amorous feelings can be seen everywhere.Whether the police, high school students or bus drivers, all put on half-sleeved shirts.There are also girls who only wear vests.Hey, I thought, it was snowing not long ago!I sang "Help Me, Linda" with her in the falling snow!It has only been two and a half months since then. "You really don't hate me?" "Of course!" I said. "Of course I don't hate it. Why would it be like that. In a world where nothing is true or false, that's the only thing I can guarantee." "absolute?" "Absolutely, two thousand and five percent." She smiled slightly: "I just want to hear this sentence." I nod. "Do you like Gotanda?" Snow asked. "I like it!" As I said that, my throat suddenly choked up, and tears swirled in my eye sockets. I managed to hold back the flow.Then he took a deep breath, "Every time I see her, I like her more and more. This kind of situation is rare, especially after my age." "He killed her?" I stared at the street scene for a while through my sunglasses. "No one knows that. But it doesn't matter anyway." He was just biding his time. Xue Ping leaned against the car window, put her hand on her cheek, and looked at the scenery outside while listening to Talking Heads.She looked somewhat older than when we first met.But this is probably just my subjective feeling, after all, only two and a half months have passed. summer!I think. "What are your plans for the future?" Xue asked. "How should I say it?" I said, "Nothing has been decided yet. What should I do? But no matter what, I have to go back to Sapporo, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. There is something I have to go back to Sapporo to deal with." I must find Yumeji and the sheep man.There are places reserved for me, there I am contained, there are people who cry for me.I had to go back there and put the wheels back on. When you get near Yoyogi Hachiman Station, Yuki has to get off here: "Take the Odakyu Line." "I'll drive you to your destination. Anyway, I'm free this afternoon." I said. She smiled slightly and said, "Thank you. But it's ok, it's quite far away, and the electric train is faster." "Weird!" I took off my sunglasses, "You said 'thank you', didn't you?" "Is there nothing wrong with saying it?" "certainly." She looked at my face for 10 to 15 seconds.There was no expression that could be called an expression on his face.She was actually a child with no expression, only a slight change in her eyes and lips.The lips are slightly pursed, and the eyes are flickering sharply, revealing aura and vitality.Those eyes reminded me of summer light—the summer light piercing sharply into the water and flickering and spreading. "Just a little moved," I said. "Weird!" After saying that, Xue bowed out of the car, slammed the door, and walked away without looking back.I watched Xue's slender figure until she disappeared in the crowd.After disappearing, I couldn't help being very sad.It's quite a lovelorn. While whistling "The Key of Love"'s "Summer in the City", I drove along Omotesando to Aoyama Street, ready to buy at Kikokiya.Just when I was about to drive into the parking lot, I suddenly remembered that I would go to Sapporo tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. There was no need to cook, let alone buy food.So I have nothing to do right now, at least nothing to do. I took another casual turn of the street and returned to my residence.The room looked very empty.That's all!Thinking about it, he fell on the bed and looked at the ceiling.This state of mind can be named - a sense of loss.I said it aloud once, and found that these three words were not appreciated. Exactly, said Mimi, her voice echoing in the empty room.