Chapter 8 8. The End of the World (Colonel)

"I'm afraid you have lost the possibility of recovering the shadow." The colonel said while sipping coffee.Like most people who have been used to giving orders to others for many years, he also sat upright when he spoke, with his chin retracted cautiously.But he didn't mean to impose.What his long-term military career has given him is only a meticulous posture, a well-behaved life and a mountain of memories.As a neighbor, the senior colonel is an ideal candidate.He was affable, quiet and withdrawn, and he played chess well. "It is indeed as the watchman said," the old colonel continued, "whether in theory or in reality, the possibility of you recovering your own shadow is almost zero. As long as you are in this place, don't even think about having a shadow, and don't even think about it." Get out of here. This town is what the army calls a one-way crypt, you can only go in and you can't get out. Unless the town is freed from its walls."

"It never occurred to me that I would lose my shadow forever," I said. "I thought it was just a temporary measure. Nobody told me it was." "No one in this town will tell you anything," said the Colonel. "The town works its own way. It's none of the town's business as to who knows what or doesn't know what. I think you're kind of pitiful, too." "What will happen to the shadow in the future?" "No matter what, it's just staying there until you die. Have you seen a shadow since then?" "No. I've been there a few times, but it's not difficult to see the guards. It's because of security considerations."

"It's something I can't help." The old man shook his head and said, "It's the watchman's job to keep the shadow. He alone should bear all the responsibility. I can't help it. The watchman is originally a grumpy, headstrong person. I almost turned a deaf ear to everything. I can only be patient and wait for him to change his mind." "Just do what you say," I said, "but what's he worried about?" The colonel drank the coffee in one gulp, put the cup back on the saucer, took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the corners of his mouth.The handkerchief was as old and battle-tested as the clothes on him, but it was well cared for and clean.

"I'm worried that you and your shadow will become one. Then you will have to start over." After speaking, the old man returned his attention to the chessboard.The types and moves of this chess are somewhat different from what I know, and the old man usually wins. "The monkey takes the monk, is it all right?" "Please." As I said that, I moved the wall to block the monkey's retreat. The old man nodded frequently and stared at the chessboard.In fact, the overall situation of victory or defeat has been decided, and the old man is determined to win.However, he refused to go straight ahead, and was still deliberating.For him, playing chess is not to defeat the opponent, but to challenge his own ability.

"It's sad to part with the shadow and make it die." As he said, the old man slanted the knight, skillfully blocking the gap between the wall and the king.So my king essentially became a polished commander.Three steps away, the whole army is wiped out. "Sadness is the same for everyone, and I am no exception. It would be fine if we were separated from Shadow and let him die when we were young, but when we get older, we can't bear it anymore. My Shadow died when I was 65 years old. At that age, the memories are too numerous to count." "How long can the shadow survive after being stripped?"

"It varies from shadow to shadow," said the old man. "Some shadows are vibrant and some are lifeless. But no matter what, once they are separated, they will not live long in this town. The water and soil here are not suitable for shadows to survive. Winter It's been a long time. Hardly a shadow survives a second spring." I stared at the board for a while, and finally gave up hope of winning. "There are still five steps to go," said the colonel. "It's worth fighting for, right? It's easy to find out the opponent's mistakes in five steps. The outcome of this thing can only be determined at the last moment."

"Then try it." While I was thinking, the old man walked to the window and slightly opened the thick cloth curtain with his fingers, watching the outside scenery from the narrow gap. "The next period of time will be the most difficult time for you. It's the same as changing your teeth: the old teeth are gone, and the new teeth have not yet grown. Do you understand what I mean?" "It means that although the shadow has been stripped, it has not died yet." "Exactly." The old man nodded, "I have also experienced it. The past and the future cannot be well balanced, so I am at a loss. But after the new teeth grow, the old teeth will be forgotten."

"You mean the disappearance of the heart?" The old man was speechless. "I'm sorry, I just kept asking questions," I said, "but I don't know anything about this town, and I'm in constant panic. I don't know how the town works. I don't know why the walls are so high. I don't know. Why do unicorns come and go every day, I don’t know what’s going on in the ancient dream, in short, there is nothing that is not puzzling, and you are the only one who can ask.” "I don't know the ins and outs of things very well." The old man said silently. "Some things are unspeakable, and some things are inconvenient. But you don't have to worry about anything. In a sense, the town is fair. About your What you need to know, the town will remind you one by one in the future. You must learn them one by one through your own efforts. Remember, this is a complete town. The so-called completeness means everything. But if you don't fully understand, then you have nothing, nothing at all. Keep this in mind. What is taught by others is passed on and destroyed, but what you learn by your own efforts stays with you throughout your life and helps you .You have to keep your eyes wide open, ears sideways and use your brain to figure out the meaning of what the town reminds you of. If you have the heart, then let it work while you have the heart. That's all I can teach you."

If the staff quarter where the girl lives is a place whose former glory has long since disappeared into the darkness, then the official residence area in the southwest of the town is a place that is losing its splendor in the dry light.Spring brings life, summer breaks it down, and winter monsoons dry it up.The two-storey white official buildings are arranged row upon row on the gentle and wide slope called "West Hill".It was originally designed according to the standard of three households in each building, but the entrance hall protruding in the middle is shared by each household.No matter the cedar boards inlaid on the outer wall, the window frames, or the narrow eaves and the railings on the windows, they are all painted with white paint.Looking around, it's all white.On the west hillside, white is everywhere: the unnaturally dazzling white that has just been painted, the white that has been yellowed by the sun for a long time, and the white that seems to have lost everything in the wind and rain.All of these are all endlessly stretched along the sandy road around the mountain.There is no wall around the official building, only a slender flower bed about 1 meter wide under the narrow porch.The flower beds are well manicured, with crocuses, pansies and calendulas in spring and cosmos in fall.When the flowers bloom, the building is more like a ruin.

In the past, this area must have been called a free and elegant area.While strolling leisurely on the hillside, it is not difficult to find its past scene.There must be children playing on both sides of the road, the sound of the piano is melodious, and the warm fragrance of dinner is rippling.I can feel these memories on my skin, like passing through several transparent glass doors. The so-called official house is not just a name. In the past, officials did live here.Although the status of officials is not very high, they are not low-level employees, but belong to the middle class.They try to maintain a peaceful life here.

But these people no longer exist, gone forever. The latter are all ex-soldiers.They lost their figures, like cicada shells attached to the wall under the warm sunshine, and spent their time happily on the west hillside where the monsoon was blowing.They have almost nothing to defend.There are 6 to 9 old old soldiers living in each building. The caretaker appointed me to live in one of these official residences.In my official residence there is a colonel, a major, a lieutenant, and a sergeant.The sergeant cooks and does chores, and the colonel gives orders, just like life in a military camp.In the past, the old people were so busy preparing for war, fighting, and truce, so busy dealing with revolution and counter-revolution, that they lost the chance to start a family.A bunch of loners. They wake up early every day, habitually eat breakfast in two or three bites, and then automatically and consciously devote themselves to their respective jobs.Some used things like small bamboo boards to scrape old paint on buildings, some pulled weeds in the front yard, some repaired furniture, and some pulled carts down the mountain to pick up rations.After finishing their morning work in this way, the old people gather in the sunny place and immerse themselves in the memories of the past. I was assigned a room facing east on the second floor.In front of a mountain, the view is not very wide, but you can still see the river and the clock tower on the side.The room looked like it hadn't been used for a long time, the white gray walls were covered with black mold spots, and there was a layer of white dust on the window lattice.It contained an old bed, a small dining table, and two chairs.Thick curtains hung over the windows, giving off a musty smell.The wooden floor was so worn that it creaked with every step. In the early morning, the senior colonel next door came in, and the two had breakfast together.In the afternoon, I played chess in this dark room with the curtains drawn.In the sunny afternoon, there is no way to kill time except playing chess. "It must be unbearable for a young man like you to hold back in a dark room with the curtains drawn in such fine weather?" the colonel said. "yes." "For me, it is my wish to have someone to play chess with me. Almost everyone here is not interested in playing chess. I am afraid that I am the only one who still wants to play chess." "Why did you abandon Shadow?" The old man stared at his fingers illuminated by the sunlight from the gap in the curtains, then left the window for a moment and walked towards the dining table. "That's right!" he said, "Maybe it's because the time spent defending this town is too long? Once I leave here, I feel that my life will completely lose its meaning. Cough, things are up to now, no matter what. never mind." "Have you ever regretted throwing away your shadow?" "No regrets." The old man shook his head a few times, "I haven't regretted it once. Because there is nothing to regret." I crushed the monkey to death with a wall and opened a passage for the king to move about. "Skillful hand!" said the old man, "You can use the wall to defend the corner, and the king will be free again. But at the same time, my knight can also show its skills!" While the old man was slowly thinking about the next step, I boiled a pot of water and added new coffee.I think, in the future countless The afternoon will be spent like this.In this walled town, I didn't have much choice.