Chapter 38 thirty five cypress

Bai Muwei's door supervisor is lingering on the sick bed, and there is no improvement, and he doesn't feel that the New Year is over.He saw his parents mourning and mourning, and felt that it was meaningless to die resigned to fate, and it was a serious sin to die first after betraying one's relatives.But then I thought: "Do I still miss this world and hope to live here? I have had great ambitions since I was a child, and I always wanted to be a master, and to establish excellence in public and private affairs. I don't know that I can't do anything, and I can't do anything. A practical problem, and I saw that this body is useless. So I am not interested in this world at all, and I only hope to become a monk to worship Buddha and cultivate blessings for future generations. I also think that my parents are not happy, which is a big fetter in learning Taoism in the mountains, so I think about it. Think, live the day according to the rules. The result is a lot of pain, shameless to see people again. Self-inflicted, who is to blame? Mistakes all come from your own heart, you can’t blame others, and you can’t complain to gods and Buddhas. It’s really a matter of previous lives. Ah! No one has "Qingsong Qianshou" and cannot live forever in the world. I might as well die at this moment, but I can earn a little pity from the world, and ask that person to sympathize with me for a while, and I will "die for love at all costs". If I barely live in this world, I will definitely spread a bad reputation in the future, which will be very detrimental to myself and that person. Instead of this, it is better to die early, so that those who hate me and my rudeness can also forgive me. The world Everything disappears once I die. I have no fault other than this, Lord Genji has always recruited me as a servant whenever he has a meeting for many years, and loves me a lot, so he will definitely forgive me." When he was lonely and bored, he would often Thinking back and forth like this, but the more I think about it, the more boring I feel.The mood is sad, the thoughts are disordered, and the absurdity of oneself is lamented, and this is the end.Tears rolled down and the pillow almost floated.

This chapter describes the events from the first month of Genji's 48th year to the autumn of the same year. An ancient song: "Qingsong is a thousand years old, who is this consort? It's a pity that life is short, and love is not free." See "Ancient and Modern Waka Six Notes". An ancient song: "A moth jumping into a flame is willing to die, just like dying for love without hesitating oneself." See "Ancient and Modern Waka Collection". Once, when his parents saw that Kashiwagi's condition had improved slightly, they left the ward.It was at this time that Kashiwagi wrote a letter to the third princess.The letter said: "My illness is now on the verge of death, and I know that the end is approaching. I think you must have heard of this situation. It is no wonder that you don't even know the cause of my illness. But I really can't bear it." What a pain!" The hand trembled so badly that he couldn't write all the words he wanted to write, but he presented a poem saying:

"Worn through the smoke of cremation, The heart is fascinated by love forever. You must say a poor word to me!Let my heart be quiet, so that I can see a ray of light even when I am lost on the dark road I have created. As for the little attendant, he also wrote a sentimental letter without any scruples, asking her to come and meet him again. The little attendant's aunt is Kashiwagi's wet nurse, so he often went in and out of his house since he was a child, and he has always been familiar with Kashiwagi. Although she hated him for this crime, she was also very sad when she heard that he was about to die. She cried and said to the third princess: "The princess must answer this letter, this is really the last time. "The third princess replied: "I am also dying!"It is pitiful for a person to be dying, but I am already frightened and dare not do this kind of thing again. "She refused to write a reply. It wasn't because she was determined, but because the person she was ashamed of often had an ugly face, which made her very frightened. However, the servant had already prepared a pen and inkstone, and if she wanted to write, she had no choice but to Reluctantly wrote, the little attendant took the letter, and quietly walked into the cypress mansion when no one was watching at night.

The former Taizheng minister invited monks with high magic power to Mount Gecheng, and was waiting for them to come to chant scriptures and mantras for Kashiwagi.Recently, the construction of rituals and prayers in the mansion have been very noisy.Now, after listening to people's advice, he dispatched all the younger brothers of Kashiwagi to various places to search for various holy monks who are hidden in the mountains and few people in the world have heard of.So many mountain men with strange descriptions and hideous faces came.Cypress's illness is not particularly painful, but sad and depressed, crying aloud from time to time.According to divination by onmyoji, it is said that there is a female soul.The minister also believed it.However, after doing many religious rituals, no ghosts appeared.The minister was very troubled, so he invited many mountain monks to come.There was a holy monk, tall and hideous, who recited the Dharani mantra sharply.After hearing this, Baimu shouted: "Oh! How disgusting! I'm afraid it's because of the serious crimes in my body. It's very scary to hear the Dharani mantra loudly! I feel like I'm going to die." Then he got up suddenly and slipped out of the room , and talk to the little attendant.The minister didn't know it. He heard the maids say that the patient had fallen asleep, so he believed it, so he talked quietly with the holy monk.Although the minister is old, he is still cheerful and lively, and loves to tell jokes.But at this time, he had no choice but to face the mountain monk with a straight face, and describe to him the condition of Bai Mu when he got sick, and how he disappeared day by day without any symptoms.He sincerely asked the mountain monk to use his magic power to discover the ghost.It can be seen that he is really in pain.When Bai Mu heard this, he said to the little attendant: "Listen to my father! He didn't know that my illness was caused by a crime. The onmyoji said that there was a female soul. If the princess is really obsessed and the soul comes out If you are attached to my body, then I, a humble person, will be very honored! I also thought in reverse: I have arrogance in my heart, commit a heinous crime, destroy other people's reputation, and have no regard for my own future. It's not unheard of. However, it's really painful to be there. Genji-sama already knows about my crimes, and I have lived faceless in the world. This is probably due to his majesty and brilliance. In fact, I am not There is no such thing as a great crime, but ever since I met Genji-sama on the evening of the music test, I was immediately disturbed, fell ill in bed, and my soul wandered away, never to return. If my soul is wandering in the six yards, please hurry up , let it return to me." When he said it, his voice was very weak, and he burst into tears and laughter, obviously speaking from the body that lost his soul.The little attendant told Bai Mu: The third princess has always been ashamed, sad and fearful.Hearing this, Bai Mu vaguely saw the sad, frustrated, yellow and thin face of the third princess before his eyes, and he was convinced that his soul had escaped from his body, and rushed to the princess, feeling more and more painful and embarrassing in his heart.Then he said to the little attendant: "Don't talk about the princess from now on! I died short-lived. This little resentment may become the fetters of the princess's future enlightenment and Buddhahood. I am deeply regretful. The princess is already pregnant. I only hope to hear the news of the safe delivery, and then die. That night I dreamed of a kitten, and I was the only one who knew it was a sign of pregnancy, but no one could tell me. I am very sad about this!" Bai Mu had mixed feelings and was depressed. , that frowning appearance is disgusting and frightening, yet pitiful.The little servant couldn't help crying too.

Cypress moved closer to the paper candle, and opened it to see the princess' reply.But seeing that the handwriting is still very immature, the style is very beautiful.The letter wrote: "I heard that you are sick, and I am very sad. However, there is nothing I can do, I can only think about it in the wind. The letter has the words 'Love lasts forever', you must know Your body has been cremated, and I suffer like torment. Two smokes become one breath, disappearing into the evening cloud sky. I won't die after you! "It's just a few words. Baimu looked at it with pity and thanks. He said: "Woohoo!Only the phrase "two smokes" is a precious memory of my life.My life is so illusory! He cried even harder. He lay down on the mat and wrote a reply, taking a rest from time to time, with intermittent sentences, strange words, and bird-like footprints:

"I am reduced to ashes, and the smoke disappears into the evening sky. Thinking of the king is never dead, always in front of the respect. Every evening, please pay attention to the sky.I have become a dead soul, others will not blame you, you can look at it with peace of mind.Although it is useless, I still hope you will love me forever! After writing the letter in a disorganized manner, he felt even worse. He said to the little attendant: "That's all!"Don't be too late at night, go back earlier and tell her about my dying situation.When I die today, the world still wonders why I died. It really taught me that after death, it will be very painful.I don't know what evil I did in my previous life, so that I have such heartbreaking things in this life. Weeping, he walked away on his knees and returned to the sick bed. The little attendant recalled that when Bai Shu met her in the past, he always sat for a long time and talked, or even mixed jokes, nagging endlessly. However, this time She said very little this time. She felt pitiful and couldn't bear to go back immediately. Cypress's nurse also told the young attendant about Cypress's illness, and both of them cried very sadly. The minister was more distressed and said: "The past few days have improved slightly , why is it so weak today? He was very worried. Kashiwagi replied: "Where will it get better!"After all, there is no hope! "As he spoke, he began to cry too.

Tell her to look at the smoke of his cremation. Let's say that the third princess suddenly had abdominal pain that evening, and the sensible maid knew that she was about to give birth, and everyone panicked, so they hurriedly sent someone to inform Genji.Genji was also very alarmed, and immediately came back to have a look.But he thought in his heart: "What a pity! If there is no such suspicion, what a celebration, how gratifying!" However, he never revealed his thoughts in front of others, and immediately called eminent monks to pray for safe delivery.Originally, there were many mages doing meritorious deeds in the mansion every day, so I selected those with profound morals from among the monks and asked them all to participate.The third princess suffered all night, and gave birth at sunrise the next day.When Genji heard that the newborn was a boy, he thought to himself: "Because of that secret incident, if it's unlucky to be born with the same appearance as that person, that would be bad. If it's a daughter, you can try to hide it and see There are not many people here, so I can rest assured." Then he thought: "It is good for a boy who is suspected of being a boy, so he can be educated more easily. But the thing is really strange: I have committed many terrible crimes in my life. This is probably retribution. I have suffered this unexpected punishment in this life, and in the future life, the crime will be lessened." People who don't know the inside story think that this little prince is born in the belly of a noble princess and is the son of his old age. , Genji-sama must be extremely precious, so he serves with special heart.A very grand ceremony was held in the delivery room.The ladies of Liujoyuan sent all kinds of exquisite soup.Even the routine wood chip boxes, laminated square wooden trays and goblets are all ingenious and cleverly played.

On the fifth day after giving birth, Empress Qiuhao made a congratulatory gift.There are food for the mother-in-law and items for the maids, and there are gradations according to each person's status.Everything is done according to the court system, very respectable.There were fifty guests of porridge and glutinous rice, and banquets were held in various places. The retainers, servants, and everyone in Liutiaoyuan all worshiped and received generous gifts.All the officials in front of the Queen's Palace, from the doctor down, came.The people from the hall of Lengquanyuan also came to congratulate.On the seventh day after giving birth, the emperor also sent envoys to congratulate her according to the court system.The former Taizheng Minister Yi belonged to his relatives, and he should have congratulated him with a special grand ceremony, but at that time, Bai Mu was seriously ill and had no intention of doing anything, so he only sent an ordinary congratulatory ceremony.Many princes and ministers came to congratulate him.From the outside, the congratulatory ceremony was unparalleled in the world, but Genji was deeply saddened and was not very happy, so he did not hold an orchestral meeting.

The third princess has always been physically weak. It was her first childbirth with no experience, and she felt very scary.She didn't take any decoction or medicine, she just felt that her life was suffering, so that she suffered this misfortune.She thought: "There's nothing I can do, why don't we just take this opportunity and die." Genji hid it nicely in front of people, but he had no intention of going in to see this annoying newborn.Several older maids commented in private: "Oh, how indifferent! It's rare to have a son who looks so upright and cute..." They all felt sorry for the baby.The third princess heard these words by chance, and thought: "It's conceivable, it will become more and more cold in the future!" She was full of resentment, and she was hurting herself, so she thought about becoming a nun.Genji doesn't come back to stay overnight at night, but arrives in a hurry during the day.One day he said to the three princesses: "I have seen the impermanence of the world, and I feel that the remaining life is very short. Because of my restlessness, I have been practicing Buddhism every day. This place is so chaotic and hinders my heart of learning, so I don't come here often. How are you doing? Are you in a good mood? I miss you very much." He visited the third princess from the edge of the curtain.The third princess raised her head and replied: "I can't live any longer. Dying in childbirth is a serious sin. Why don't you let me become a nun, or I can use this merit to save my life. Even if I die, it may eliminate my sins." " Her tone was different from usual, much like an adult.Genji said: "There is no such thing! Don't speak ominous words! Why do you have such thoughts? Childbirth is dangerous and terrible, but it is by no means hopeless!" But he thought in his heart. "If she really has the determination to say this, it would be good to simply fulfill her. Although I get along with her recently, I feel unhappy everywhere and feel unbearable pain. If I want to change my mind, I can't. I often feel annoyed in my heart, and my attitude is natural. Indifference, others will blame me when they see it, it really makes me very sad. Zhuqueyuan heard about it, and still blamed me for being negligent. Why don’t you use her illness as an excuse to let her become a monk.” Although I thought so, but felt Poor thing.At such a young age, that hair of blue silk and fine hair is so cute, what a pity to cut it off!Then he said to her: "You have to be calm, it's not a big deal. People who seem to be hopeless will calm down. There are recent examples. The world is not so illusory and impermanent." He gave her soup.The third princess's face was pale and her body was very thin. She lay dying, but her appearance was extremely slender and graceful.Genji looked at it and thought: "Seeing this, even if she has committed a huge crime, I have to soften my heart and forgive her."

Refers to Mrs. Zi. Zhuqueyuan, who went to the mountain to practice, heard that the three princesses gave birth safely. He was overjoyed, but he was very worried.I heard that she has been in poor health, I don't know what is going on, I think about it, and I can't concentrate on chanting scriptures and Buddha.The third princess is so weak, coupled with the fact that she has not eaten for several days, she is on the verge of danger.She said to Genji: "I have been yearning for my father for years, and now I miss him even more. Don't we have to see each other again in this life?" Then she burst into tears.Genji then sent a suitable person to Zhuqueyuan to report the situation of the three princesses truthfully.After hearing the news, Suzaku Academy was overwhelmed with grief, ignoring the family rules, so they quietly came to visit that night.The sudden arrival without prior notice made Genji startled and terrified.Zhuqueyuan said to him: "I have long forgotten everything about the worldly things. However, there is still confusion in my heart, which is the obsession of loving my son. Therefore, after hearing the news, I have slackened in my practice. If the order of death is not according to the order of the old and the young , and she died before me, so this hatred is endless and never ending. For this reason, I ignored the ridicule of the world, and came here in a hurry at night." Although Zhuqueyuan changed her attire, her expression was still handsome.In order to avoid the attention of outsiders, he didn't wear a formal cassock, but only a dark-colored casual dress. However, Genji was very envious of his elegant and lovely posture. When he saw him, he shed tears as usual.Said to Zhuqueyuan: "The princess's condition is not serious, but because she has been weak for several months, and she has not eaten enough food, so that she has accumulated a disease." The three princesses set up a mattress in front of the screen to guide Suzaku Courtyard in and sit down.All the maids hurriedly helped the third princess up and got out of bed to greet her.Suzaku Court slightly raised the curtain and said to her, "I look like a praying monk at night, but I haven't cultivated enough, so I'm really ashamed! Just because I miss you, let me show you what I look like." He reached out and wiped away his tears.The third princess wept and replied in a very weak voice: "My daughter has no hope of life, and my father is in vain today, so please shave me as a nun by the way." Zhuqueyuan replied: "You can have such a great wish, sincerely It is precious. But although you are seriously ill, you may not be hopeless. Besides, you are young and have a long life. If you become a monk at this time, you will be troubled and tired in the future, and you will be ridiculed by the world. I hope you think twice." He said to Genji: " She made this intention voluntarily. If she is seriously ill, I want her to become a monk, and even for a moment, she can receive the blessing of Buddha." Genji said: "She said this every day, but I heard people say that this is The evil spirit deceives the patient and instigates him to become a monk. Please don’t listen to it.” Zhuqueyuan said: “If the ghost instigates it, it’s not good to listen to it, and you should be cautious; but now the patient is so weak, knowing that there is no hope, and doing this. The last request, if I ignore it, I’m afraid I’ll regret it.” At this time, he thought to himself: “I entrusted my daughter to him at the beginning, thinking that it was the most reassuring. Who knows that after he accepted it, he didn’t love her deeply, but it was not me. Expected. This kind of situation has been heard over the years, which makes me very worried. It is inconvenient to speak out publicly, and it is really sad to allow the world to speculate and discuss. I am troubled by this to this day. It would be better to take this opportunity to let her become a nun and teach the world that she did not become a nun for the sake of marital disharmony, so that she would not be ridiculed. After that, although Genji has no husband and wife relationship with her, the general care for her can still be the same as before This alone is my last request for entrusting my daughter to him. As long as she is not a monk with a grudge. I can repair the Guangsha Huayu bestowed by Father Tonghu for her to live in. Although she is a Nun, but during my life, I will take care of her in many ways, so that she is safe and sound. Although Genji treats her coldly, he will never abandon her because of negligence. I can always expect this feeling." He also said: "Then, since I have come, let her take the precepts and establish a Buddhist relationship." Genji forgot the resentment towards the third princess, but felt pitiful, and thought in his heart; "What on earth is this? It’s the same thing!” He couldn’t bear it any longer, so he walked into the screen and said to the third princess, “Why did you abandon me, a man with few lives left, and decide to become a monk? It’s better to calm down for a while, take some soup, Let’s eat some food. It’s a matter of dignity to be a monk, but your body is so weak, how can you bear the labor of cultivation? In short, the most important thing is to take care of your body.” The third princess just shook her head, she felt that he was hateful for saying these good things now.Genji noticed that although she usually doesn't express it, she actually harbors a grudge in her heart.I feel sorry for her.In this way, one side opposes and the other side hesitates. Between talking and talking, I don't realize that the sky is about to dawn.

Zhuqueyuan said that when he returned to the mountain after dawn, he was seen to be inappropriate on the road, so he hurriedly taught the three princesses to take the precepts.All the noble mages among the praying monks were called into the delivery room to abdicate the hair of the three princesses.When Genji saw him cut off the beautiful hair of this young woman and let her be ordained, he felt very sad and regrettable, couldn't bear it, and burst into tears.Suzaku Courtyard originally loved this daughter very much, and expected her to succeed in the world, but now seeing that she has no chance for the glory and glory of the world, she felt sad and sad, and she burst into tears.He told her: "From now on, you can keep healthy forever. You must be diligent in chanting sutras and Buddha!" ​​He hurried back to Yishan when it was still dark.The third princess was very weak, and seemed to be dying. She couldn't get up to say goodbye properly, and it was difficult to speak.Genji said to Zhuqueyuan: "Today's meeting is like a dream, which disturbs my mind. My elder brother does not forget the old feelings, and I am lucky to be here. My younger brother entertained me briefly, and I have committed a lot of crimes. I have to come to thank you another day." Then he dispatched Many people escorted Zhuqueyuan back to the mountain.Suzakuin said goodbye to Genji. "In the past, when my life was at stake, I thought of this daughter as lonely and lonely, with no one to take care of me, and it was always hard to give up. Although you didn't intend to accept it, you finally resigned to my life and took good care of you. Therefore, I am very relieved for many years. If she is saved in the future If you are alive, you are already a nun, so it is not suitable to live in such a bustling place. If you find a suitable mountain village and let him live away, it will be lonely. Please consider the situation carefully and make a long-term plan. Don't abandon it as a blessing." Genji He replied: "Elder brother said this even more, but it made my younger brother feel ashamed! Today I am too sad, my mind is chaotic, and everything is at a loss." He is indeed in pain. While praying the next night, a ghost appeared to possess the person.The ghost dared to say: "Look at my magic power! A while ago, I haunted that person and was saved by you cleverly. I think of it and hate it! For this reason, I came here quietly and accompanied this person." I've been here for a few days. Now I'm going back." After saying that, I laughed.Genji was very surprised, he thought: "So the ghost in Ertiao Courtyard came here and never left." He felt that the third princess was really pitiful.The third princess's illness has improved slightly, but it is still difficult to guarantee her safety.All the maids became monks for the sake of the three princesses, and everyone was disheartened.But thinking that it is good to recover health because of this, I had to endure it.Genji extended the day of the practice, ordered the monks to hold it solemnly, and took care of every detail. Let's say that the governor of Kashiwagiwei heard about the princess's birth and becoming a monk, and his illness became more serious, and there was little hope at all.He felt sorry for his wife, Princess Luoye, and thought: "It seems too rash to ask her to come here. Besides, mother, wife, and father and ministers often come to my side. If I am not careful, the second princess's imperial appearance will naturally be seen by them." , This is embarrassing." He asked his parents; "I have something to do, I want to go to the princess." But the parents flatly refused.So he saw that no matter who they were, they all said that they wanted to see Princess Fallen Leaf.Princess Fallen Leaf's mother initially disapproved of marrying her daughter to Cypress.Only because Baimu's father ran around and begged repeatedly, Zhuqueyuan was moved by his sincerity, and had no choice but to promise his daughter to him.When Suzakuin was worried about the marriage between the third princess and Genji, he once said: "The second princess has a reliable husband, so she doesn't have to worry about the future." Kashiwagi was deeply grateful when he heard this sentence.At this time, I said to my mother: "I think, if I die without her, she will really suffer. But the fate is so, there is nothing to do, the cause is not long, this hatred is endless! Her sorrow and sigh are really pitiful. For I ask my parents to be very considerate and take care of me." The mother replied: "Oh, don't say such ominous words! If you die first, how much life do we have to accept your instructions from the future?" just cry.It was inconvenient for Baimu to ask for more, so he had to discuss with his younger brother Zuo Dabian and entrust him with various tasks in detail.Bai Mu is gentle and amiable, so his younger brothers, especially the young ones, trust him and treat him like a parent.Listening to his sad words now, no one is not sad, and everyone in the mansion is also sighing.The emperor was deeply sorry when he heard that he was seriously ill.Hearing that the disease was hopeless, he immediately issued an imperial edict, and Jin named him Quan Da Nayan.Then he said to the left and right: "He heard the good news, he might be able to get up and enter the palace again, it's unknown." However, Baimu's condition did not improve, so he could only bear the pain and lay down on his pillow to thank him.Seeing the generosity of the holy family, the father and minister became more and more sad, but there was nothing but help. General Yugiri often cared deeply about Kashiwagi's illness, and when he heard that he had been promoted, he rushed to visit him.He was the first one to congratulate.In the wing room where Baimu lived, many carriages and horses were parked in front of the door, and the attendants were very noisy.Since this year, Kashiwagi has hardly been able to get up at all.I was disheveled in my clothes during the illness, so it was inconvenient to receive high-ranking officials and distinguished guests.I really wanted to meet Xiwu, but my physical strength was very weak, and I was so sad that I couldn't think about it.Then he ordered people to spread the word: "Your Excellency, please come in and sit down. The room is messy, and you must be forgiven." Ask the praying monk to retreat temporarily, set up a banquet by the pillow, and invite Xiwu to come in.Baimu and Xiwu have been close since childhood, and there is no estrangement between the two hearts. Now that they are facing death, their sadness and nostalgia are no less than that of blood brothers.Xiwu thought that he should be in a happy mood because of the joy of being promoted today, but now seeing this situation, he felt very regretful, so he felt dispirited, and said to him: "Why is your illness so serious! Today is a great joy, I thought You must be better." Then he opened the curtain to look at him.Kashiwagi replied: "What a pity! You see, I am no longer what I used to be." He was wearing a black hat, and his upper body was raised slightly, but his appearance was very painful.He was wearing several layers of soft and lovely white clothes, and lay there covered by a quilt.The furnishings in the room are very elegant and clean, and the air of incense is tangy.The lodging was very comfortable, and though it was casually furnished, it was very interesting.People who are seriously ill are always shaggy and dirty.But although Kashiwagi was very thin, his complexion became fairer, and his expression became more beautiful. The black hat is the hat of the nobles in ancient times, made of gauze silk or paper, painted with black lacquer. The way he leaned on the pillow and talked, he was really weak, as if he was about to die.Xiwu felt very sorry, and said to him: "You have been sick for a long time, but you may not be so thin. On the contrary, your expression is more beautiful than usual." She said so, but she wiped her tears with her hands.Then he said to him: "Didn't you and I have a vow of 'hoping to die on the same day'? This really makes me so sad! I don't even know why you are so seriously ill. People as close as me How can I rest assured!" Baimu replied: "I don't feel why this disease is getting worse. I can't tell where the pain is. I always think that it won't suddenly get worse. I have become so weak, and now I have lost my vitality. I am a body that does not regret my death, and I can prolong my life to this day, all thanks to the magic power of prayers and vows. However, not dying for a long time makes me suffer. Now I hope to die soon. Even so , I have so many things in this world that I can hardly let go of. There are so many things! It is the most sad thing that I can’t live up to my life when I am a relative; It's sad. I don't want to talk about this kind of hatred shared by the world. But there is another kind of pain in my heart. When this time is approaching, I don't need to reveal it to others, but it is hard to bear, and I always want to tell others. I have many Brother, but due to various relationships, it is inappropriate even to mention them vaguely. I can only tell you: I have slightly offended Mr. Liutiaoyuan. Unexpectedly, I was extremely sad, and I felt that I was going to become a disease. At this moment, my lord suddenly called me, so I went to Liutiaoyuan on the day of the music rehearsal for Suzakuyuan's birthday celebration. Judging by the look in his eyes, it was obvious that I couldn't forgive my sin. From then on, I feel more and more There are many worries in the world, life is meaningless, and the turmoil in my heart is extremely turbulent, so I am in such a mess. I am insignificant. I have been loyal and trusting to adults since I was a child. This time, I am afraid that I have listened to slander. I am dying now. , only this hatred will last forever, and of course it will be an obstacle to the happiness of my future generations. I hope you will report to Lord Liujoin when it is convenient for you, and be good at explaining it. After I die, if you forgive me, I will be grateful It's gone." The more he talked, the more painful he looked, and Xi Wu was very sad to see it.He had already guessed that matter in his heart, but he couldn't really know the details.Then he replied: "Why are you so worried! My father didn't blame you. He was very surprised when he heard that you were so seriously ill. He lamented endlessly and always felt sorry for you. Since you have such worries, why don't you You’ve been bored all this time, why don’t you tell me? If you tell me, I can go out and mediate to make the two sides understand. But it’s too late to regret it now!” He was so sad that he wished to turn back the clock.Kashiwagi said: "When my condition improved slightly, I wanted to talk to you. But I never thought that the condition would deteriorate so quickly. I am too confused to delay it until now. You must not tell others about this! When the opportunity arises, please speak well and explain to Master Liutiaoyuan. Please take care of the princess in Yiyuanyuan at any time. Zhuqueyuan must be sad for the princess when she hears that I have died, and it all depends on your kindness in consoling you." Baimu still has a lot to say I wanted to say it, but my body and mind were exhausted and I couldn't support it, so I waved my hand to Xiwu and said, "Please go back!" The praying monk and others walked in to perform the ritual, and the mother, wife, father and ministers also came in, and all the maids were running around noisy , Xiwu had no choice but to go out crying. Needless to say, Baimu's younger sister, Honghuidian Nuyu, and Xiwu's wife, Yunjuyan, are also very sad.Kashiwagi is sincere and thoughtful, and has the style of a loyal elder. Therefore, Yulan, the wife of Minister Mustache Heiyou, is also very friendly to this half-brother. She is very concerned about Kashiwagi's illness, and she invites monks to pray for him.Prayer, however, is not a "cure", after all, it is futile.Finally, Baimu disappeared like a bubble before meeting Princess Fallen Leaf. Over the years, Bomu has no deep love for Princess Fallen Leaf in his heart, but on the surface, he is very respectful, dear to Yuheng, caring and thoughtful, and has always been respectful to each other.Therefore, Princess Fallen Leaves has no resentment towards him.Seeing that Bai Mu had such a short life, she just felt that the world was incredible, life was really boring, thinking about it, she was very sad, and the dazed and trance expression was really pitiful.Her mother and wife thought of her daughter's youth and widowhood, which made people laugh, and felt very sorry.Seeing her daughter's distressed appearance, I felt infinitely sad.Not to mention Kashiwagi's parents, they cried and cried, "We should die first! This world is too unreasonable!" But there was nothing they could do.The third princess, who became a nun, always hated Kashiwagi's rudeness and hoped that he would not live long.But when I heard that he was dead, I felt pitiful after all.She speculated in her heart: "Baimu believes that this child is his son, so he and I must have a predestined relationship in a previous life, and that accidental disaster happened." She thought about it, feeling very sentimental.Unknowingly shed tears. Refers to his wife Princess Fallen Leaves. An ancient song: "Lovers can't see each other, and the disease is dying. Except for the two meeting each other, there is no cure for the disease." See "Supplementary Collection". In March, the sky was clear, and the little son Xun Jun was born for fifty days, and it was time to celebrate.This little boy is beautiful, cute and plump, he looks like he is more than fifty days old, his little boy is already trying to babble.Genji came to the third princess's room and said, "Are you feeling better? Alas! You look so disappointing! If you dress up as before, I will see you regain your health. How happy you are! You give up It makes me very sad to become a monk because of me!" He said his pain with tears.He came to visit once a day, and his care for the third princess was more attentive than before. This Mr. Xun is the protagonist of the last ten chapters of this book. On the 50th birthday, there is a routine cake offering ceremony.But the mother and wife have already changed their nun attire, how should this ceremony be done?The maids were hesitating, and Genji came.He said: "What's the matter! If it's a girl, it's unlucky for the mother of a nun to participate in the celebration; what do boys have?" cake.The wet nurses are dressed up beautifully and offer a wide variety of gifts. The cages for cakes and baits and the boxes for food are all beautifully decorated, and the curtains are full inside and outside the curtains.Everyone didn't know the inside story, and arranged it with great interest.Genji just felt sad and shameful when he saw it.The three princesses also got up.Her hair is thick at the ends and spread out on the sides.She felt uncomfortable and brushed her hands away from her forehead.At this moment Genji raised the curtain and walked in.The third princess was afraid of embarrassment and turned to the side.Her body is thinner than before giving birth.It's a pity that the hair was long when it was cut that day, so it's hard to see clearly whether it was cut off later.She was wearing a light ink shirt with overlapping cuffs and top, and a yellowish red shirt.She is not used to this nun dress yet.Viewed from the side, this dress is also very beautiful, like a child, exquisite and cute.Genji said: "Oh, I'm so sad! Light ink is not good after all, it makes people feel dark when they look at it. I once comforted myself: Although you are a nun, I can still see you often. But the tears can't stop It is really disgusting. I am abandoned by you now, but the world thinks that the crime is my fault. This also makes me extremely sad, bitter and hateful! It is a pity that I cannot return to the old state." He sighed, and said: "If you say Now that you have become a nun, you want to live away from me. This is because you sincerely dislike me and make me feel ashamed and sad. I hope you will love me more." The third princess replied: "I heard that monks don't understand the world. Lianai. What's more, I don't understand at first, so how can I give you an answer?" Genji said: "Then there is nothing you can do. But you will understand sometime!" He only said these two words, and went to see the young master. Alluding to Cypress. The nurses are all noble and beautiful people, and they are taking care of the young master together.Genji summoned them to come and told them how to take care of them.He said: "Oh! I don't have much life left. The baby born tonight will surely grow up." He hugged him.But seeing the young master smiling carelessly, he was fat and fair, and extremely beautiful.Genji vaguely recalled Yugiri's appearance when he was young, and felt that his appearance was not like him.The prince born to the Akashi female imperial palace is of royal blood, and his temperament is naturally noble, but he is not particularly handsome.The appearance of Mr. Xun is noble and gorgeous, with clear eyes and always smiling.Genji thought it was very cute.But I'm afraid it's because of my prejudice, I feel that he is very similar to Kashiwagi.She is still a newborn now, her gaze has stabilized, her expression is very unusual, she really has a perfect appearance.The third princess didn't clearly see that he looked like Kashiwagi, and no one else noticed. Only Genji sighed in his heart: "Poor! How tragic is Kashiwagi's fate!" shed tears.但念今日应该忌避不祥，便揩揩眼泪，吟诵白居易“五十八翁方有后，静思堪喜亦堪嗟”之诗。源氏比五十八还少十岁，然而心情上已有迟暮之感，不胜悲伤。他很想教训这小公子：“慎勿顽愚似汝爷！”他想：“侍女之中定有知道此事内情之人，她们还以为我不知道，把我看作白痴呢。” 心中便觉不快。但他又想：“我被看作白痴，咎由自取。我和公主两方比较起来，公主受人奚落更是难受呢。”心中虽如此想，脸上并不表露。小公子天真烂漫地嘻笑，牙牙学语，那眼梢口角异常美丽。不知内情的人也许不会注意，但在源氏看来毕竟非常肖似柏木。他想：“柏木的双亲定在悲叹他没有儿子吧。岂知他有这个无人知道的罪恶儿子隐藏在这里，无法教祖父母知道呢。这个气度高傲而思虑圆熟的人，由于自心一念之差而毁灭了他的身体！”他觉得柏木很可怜，便消除了对他憎恨之心，为他流下同情之泪。 白居易自嘲诗：“五十八翁方有后，静思堪喜亦堪嗟。一珠甚少还惭蚌，八子虽多不羡鸦。秋月晚生丹桂实，春风新长紫兰芽。持杯祝愿无他语，慎勿顽愚似汝爷！”下文又引末句，“爷”指柏木也。 众侍女退去之后，源氏走近三公主身边，对她说道：“你看了这孩子作何感想？难道你定要抛弃这可爱的人儿而出家么？哎呀，好忍心啊！”突然如此诘问，羞得三公主红晕满颊。源氏低声吟道： “岩下青松谁种植？ 若逢人问答何言？ 真痛心啊！”三公主置之不答，把身子俯伏下来。源氏以为这不答也难怪，不再穷诘。他推测：“她此时不知作何感想。虽然不是富有情感的人，但总不能漠然无动于衷吧。”便觉此人十分可怜。 且说夕雾回思柏木困窘不堪而隐约说出的那番话，想道：“ 到底是怎么一回事呢？如果他那时神志再清爽些，也许会把真情说出，我就可察知究竟了。但那是无可挽救的弥留之际，真不凑巧，教人好不懊丧，真是遗恨无穷啊！”他始终不能忘记柏木当时的面影，比柏木的诸弟更加悲伤。又想：“三公主此次并无何等沉重的疾病，而毅然决然地出家为尼，又是什么道理呢？即使她自愿出家，父亲难道会允许她么？上次紫夫人病势那么危笃，啼啼哭哭地要求出家，父亲尚且不肯抛舍，终于将她留住了。综合起来仔细想想，恐怕还是因为柏木自苦恋慕三公主，一直不曾断念，苦闷难忍之时，不免有所流露。柏木为人非常沉着，外表看来，比常人特别温厚周谨。别人要知道他心中所思何事，实在困难得很。然而他的意志稍稍薄弱，情感过分温柔，这就难免错失。恋情无论何等痛苦，在不该做的事情上迷乱心情，以致失却性命，决非长策。给对方招来痛苦，自己又徒然丧身，如何使得！虽说是前世注定的因缘，毕竟过分轻率，真乃无聊之事。”他心中如此想，但对夫人云居雁也不诉说。对父亲源氏，因无适当机会，亦不曾禀告。但他总想把柏木隐约吐露的事告诉父亲，看他有何表示。 柏木的父大臣和母夫人悲伤哭泣，眼泪没有干的时候。头七、二七……匆匆过去，他们都茫然不知。超荐功德、布施供养、以及一切丧事，都由柏木的诸弟妹料理。佛经、佛像的装饰布置，则由左大弁红梅指挥。关于每一个七的诵经事宜，左右人等向大臣请示，大臣答道：“不要来问我！我已经悲伤得这样了，再要我操劳，反而增加他的罪孽，妨碍他死后超生。”他已经神志昏迷，似乎濒于死亡了。 一条院的落叶公主不得与丈夫见最后一面，就此永别，自然倍感悲伤。日子渐久，广大的邸宅内仆从陆续散去，人数稀少，冷落萧条，只有柏木生前几个亲信的人，有时还来慰问。管理柏木所爱好的鹰和马的人，失却了依靠，垂头丧气地进进出出，落叶公主每次看到，都有无限感慨。柏木生前惯用的器物，依然存在。常弹的琵琶与和琴，弦线已经脱落，默默无声地搁着，教人看了实在伤心！只有庭前的树木，依旧绿烟笼罩，群花不忘春来，到处含苞欲放。落叶公主怅望此景，不胜悲戚。众侍女穿着淡墨色的丧服，寂寞无聊地度送春昼。 正在此时，忽闻威风凛凛的喝道声，便有车马停在邸宅门前了。有人哭着说道：“难道他们忘记了，以为主人还在世么？” 这是夕雾大将前来访问。仆从便进去通报。落叶公主以为总不过是柏木的弟弟左大弁或宰相来了，岂知走进来的是个相貌堂堂、令人望而却步的夕雾。就在正厅前厢设个座位，请他入坐。此人身分高贵，倘照通例叫侍女应对，未免失礼，故由公主的母夫人亲自出见。夕雾对她言道：“卫门督不幸身故，小生悲悼之心，实有过于亲属，只因名分所限，未便越礼，只能作寻常慰问而已。但卫门督临终之时，曾有遗言嘱咐，为此不敢疏慢。人生于世，寿夭无常，小生之命亦早晚难测，只要一息尚存，但凡思虑所及，定当竭力效劳。二月之内，朝廷神事繁忙，若为私人之悲伤而闭居不出，又非向例所许。即使在此期间抽暇来访，也只能立谈即去，反有不能尽情之憾。因此许久不曾前来拜望。曾见前太政大臣遭此丧明之痛，悲伤不堪。父子情深，执迷难悟，此亦人之常情。然夫妻之情，更为深切，推想公主悲恸之状，令人伤心不堪也！”说时屡屡举手拭泪揩鼻。原来夕雾一方面气宇轩昂，一方面又是多情善感之人。母夫人饮泣之余，以鼻声答道：“悲哀之事，乃无常之世的常态。夫妇永别之痛，亦非世间无有其类。象我这样有了年纪的人，还可作如是想，强自宽怀。然而青年人总想不通，那悲痛之相教人看了实在难过！她竟想追随地下，似乎一刻也不能迟。我这命苦的老身，活到现在，难道还要眼看后辈双亡的悲惨下场么？真使我痛苦之极啊！你是他的知心好友，自然知道他的事情：我在当初就不赞成这头婚事，只因前太政大臣嘱望殷勤，未便辜负。而朱雀院亦认为因缘美满，心中嘉许，于是我疑心自己见识不足，就回心转意，玉成其事。岂知变成了南柯一梦！如今回想起来，我当时既有此心，何不坚持到底？思之不胜悔恨。但我当时哪里料到他如此短命呀！照我这旧头脑想来，为公主者，若非特殊情况，不论因缘善恶，下嫁总非美事。如今既不能独身，又丧失了夫婿，变成了两无着落的薄命之身！倒不如索性乘此机会，和夫婿一同化作烟尘，为自身计，也可少受世人怜悯。但话虽如此说，毕竟难于毅然实行。我目睹惨状，不胜悲戚。此时幸蒙时时劳驾，惠然来访，不胜喜慰感激之情。又闻君言，死者曾有遗言嘱托。如此看来，他生前对公主虽然似乎并无深挚之爱。但临终之时，对人留下遗言，可知确有深情厚谊。则悲伤之中也有喜慰之时了。”说罢哭泣甚哀。夕雾也急切难于收泪，后来说道：“此君异常老成持重，恐是早死之因。近二三年来，态度非常阴郁，时见意气消沉之状。小生不揣谫陋，时时劝谏：'你太洞察世情，是个深思远虑之人。但过分机敏，会失却爱美之心，反而减弱了明慧之相。'但他总认为这是浅薄之见。唉，这些都不必说了，要紧的是公主心中比任何人都悲伤，恕我说无礼的话：我对她非常同情呢！”他委婉诚恳地安慰了一番，坐了很久才回去。 当时惯例：参与朝廷神事的人，倘在神事期间访问有丧者之家，只许立谈片刻即去。 柏木比夕雾年长五六岁，然而还是翩翩少年，姿态娇艳可爱。夕雾则威严堂皇，有男子气概，不过相貌也很柔嫩清秀，远胜常人。众青年侍女目送夕雾出门，哀情也稍稍忘怀了。夕雾看见庭前一树樱花开得非常美丽，想起“今岁应开墨色花”的古歌。觉得此诗不祥，便信口吟唱另一首古歌：“年年春至群花放，能否看花命听天。”接着便赋诗云： “庭前樱一树，半面已枯斜。 但得良时至，依然开好花。 " 他装作无意中偶有所感的样子而吟诵，一面走出门去。母夫人听了，立刻奉和一首： “今春频堕泪，柳眼露珠穿。 花发与花落，不知在哪边。 " 这位老夫人并非十分富有情趣的人，但人多称她为爱好时髦而饶有才华的更衣。夕雾见她迅速答诗，觉得果然是个伶俐乖巧的人。 An ancient song: "If the mountain cherry is a sentimental species, it should bloom black flowers this year." See "Ancient and Modern Waka Collection". See "Ancient and Modern Waka Collection". 夕雾离开一条院，立刻来到前太政大臣邸内。但见柏木的诸弟都在座，他们都说：“请到这里来！”他就走进大臣的客厅中。大臣暂时抑制哀情，与夕雾相见。这位大臣虽然上了年纪，相貌一向同青年人一样漂亮，但此次也消瘦衰老了。胡须也无心剃，长得很长，竟比以前遭父母之丧时更加憔悴。夕雾一见这岳父的模样，悲痛难忍，籁籁地流下泪来。自觉不好意思，便努力隐藏。大臣想起夕雾是柏木的好友，见了面只管淌眼泪，怎么也止不住。谈起柏木的事，话语滔滔不绝。夕雾把访问一条院之事说给他听。大臣的眼泪越发象春雨连绵时的檐漏一样掉个不住，衣衫都湿透了。夕雾把落叶公主的母夫人所咏“柳眼”之诗写在怀纸上，呈与大臣观看。大臣说：“我的眼睛也看不见了！”拼命擦了一会眼泪，然后看诗。那哭丧着脸阅读时的相貌中，全无从前那种精明能干、轩昂磊落的痕迹，教人看了不成体统。此诗并非特别优越，唯“露珠穿”之句颇有意味，大臣读了不胜伤感，眼泪久不能止。对夕雾言道：“你母亲逝世那年秋天，我以为悲伤已达极点。然而妇女行动范围有限，相识的人较少，无论何种情况之下，总不亲身出面。因此这悲伤是隐藏的，并不到处触发。但男子就不同，柏木虽然并不能干，也蒙皇上不弃，官位晋升以来，仰仗他的人自然渐次增多，闻耗而惊叹惋惜的人，各方面都有。但我之所以深感悲恸者，并非为了世间一般的威望与官位，只是想起了他那美玉无暇的身体，悼念不已耳。世间何物可以解除我的悲痛呢？”说罢仰起头来，怅望天空，但见暮云暗淡，樱花将谢，他今天还是初次看到这景色呢。就在夕雾的怀纸上写道， “反教老父穿丧服， 春雨连绵哭子哀。 " 夕雾也吟道： “亡人撒手西归去， 抛却双亲服子丧。 " 左大弁红梅也吟道： “青春未到花先落， 可叹谁人为服丧！ " 柏木死后举办法事，非常庄严隆重，与寻常世俗迥不相同。夕雾大将的夫人云居雁自不必说，夕雾自己也特地延请高僧，为柏木诵经念佛，排场十分盛大。此后夕雾常赴一条院访问。时惟四月，晴空万里，清和宜人。四处树梢，一色青葱，美好可爱。惟一条院邸内日夜悲叹，处处萧条岑寂。正在度日如年之时，夕雾大将照例前来访问了。但见庭中一片嫩草，正在青青发芽。铺沙较少的荫处，蓬蒿也正欣欣向荣。柏木生前爱好栽花种树，现在这些花木无人管理，任意地繁殖着。“一丛芭芒草”也得势滋蔓，想象将来虫声繁密的秋趣，令人感慨流泪。夕雾就在这些露草之间缓步而入。檐前处处挂着伊豫帘，里面的淡墨色帷屏已经换上夏季的薄纱，透过帘影眺望，颇有凉爽之感。内有几个姣好的女童，穿着浓墨色上衣。从帘外隐约窥见她们的衣裾和面影，样子非常可爱，然而这种颜色毕竟触目惊心。 古歌：“一丛芭芒草，使君所手植，今已成草原，虫声何繁密。”见《古今和歌集》。 伊豫国所产的竹帘。 夕雾今天坐在廊上，侍女们替他铺了茵褥。但又觉得这座位太简慢了，便去通报老夫人，劝她延客入室。但此时老夫人身体不好，躺卧在那里。侍女们便暂时和他应酬。这当儿夕雾眺望庭中花木悠然繁荣之状，不胜感慨。但见一株柏木和一株枫树，比别的树木分外青葱，枝条互相交叉着，便说道：“真有缘分啊！这两株树的上端连理一般合成了一株，可见前途有希望啊。”于是悄悄地走近去，吟道： “木神既许相亲近， 结契宜同连理枝。 让我坐在帘外，如此疏隔，教人好恨啊！”便走近门槛边去。众侍女互相扯衣推肘，悄悄地告道：“这个人鬼鬼祟祟的时候，丰姿也是很优雅的呢！”老夫人叫传言的侍女小少将君报以诗云： “柏木守神虽已逝， 庭前枝叶岂容攀！ 此言太无礼了，如此存心，何其浅薄耶！ ”夕雾觉得诚然，付之一笑。后来听见老夫人正在膝行而出，便整整衣冠，与她相见。老夫人开言道：“恐是在这辛酸的世间忧伤地度送日月之故吧，心情异常苦闷，生涯茫然如梦。屡次劳驾慰问，实在不胜感谢，只得强起迎候。 ”看她的神情非常痛苦。夕雾答道：“忧伤是难怪的，然而只管忧伤，也是枉然。世间万事，皆前生注定，忧伤毕竟也有限度。 ”他用这话安慰她，心中想道：“尝闻人言，这位公主性情十分优雅。如今惨遭不幸，生受世人讥笑，定然异常悲伤。 ”情不自禁，便热心地探询公主的近况。又想：“这位公主的相貌虽然不是十全其美，但是只要不是十分面目可憎，难道可以凭外貌印象而嫌恶她、或者另外迷醉于荒谬的恋情么？这样做实在是可耻的。归根到底，一个人只有性情是最重要的。 ”便又对老夫人说道：“今后但愿将小生当作故友一样看待，请勿见外为幸。 ”这话虽然不曾有意表示求爱，却已恳切地吐露他的心事了。夕雾身穿常礼服，姿态异常鲜丽，长身玉立，相貌堂堂。众侍女悄悄地议论：“他父亲万般和蔼可亲，其气品之高雅与态度之温柔，无人可与并比。这位公子则雄赳赳地，气宇轩昂，令人一见便会惊叹：'啊，好漂亮！ '这相貌真是与众不同。 ”接着又说：“素性让他就在这里进进出出吧。 " 这侍女是老夫人之侄女。 The title of this chapter is based on this poem. 夕雾吟唱“右将军墓草初青”之诗。右大将藤原保忠夭死，乃近世之事。可知不论古今，人世必有伤逝之痛。而于柏木尤甚：不论身分高下，无人不扼腕叹惜。只因此人不但学问渊博，且又异常重情，所以连乎素不甚亲近的僚属，以及老年的侍女，也都恋慕悲伤。皇上尤深惋惜，每逢举行管弦之会，总首先想起柏木，不胜感慨。“惜哉卫门督！”变成了当时通行的一句话，无人不说。源氏怜惜柏木，日久愈深。只有他一人心中知道薰君这孩子是柏木的遗孤，而别人却是做梦也想不到的，所以也是枉然。到了秋天，薰君已会扶床学步，其可爱之状难于形容。源氏不但在人前当作亲生子看待，而且真心地怜爱，常常抱他。 纪在昌悼右大将藤原保忠诗有“天与善人吾不信，右将军墓草初秋”之句。因为现在不是秋天，放把“秋”字改为“青”字。