Chapter 4 Gut St. Gutless Stories

inhale. Take in as much air as you can. The story should be about as long as you can hold your breath, and then a little longer.So listen to it ASAP. A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old, heard about the so-called "retrofitting".Just a dildo up the ass.It is said that as long as the prostate is stimulated enough, you can have a burst orgasm without using your hands.At that age, this friend was a bit of a sex maniac.He is always looking for a better way to vent than others.He went and bought a carrot and a bottle of Vaseline.Used for a little private research.Then he thought about what it would be like in front of the checkout counter in the supermarket: the carrot and the bottle of lubricant rolled alone on the conveyor belt in front of the cashier, and all the customers who lined up to pay were watching. Everyone knows his big plans for tonight.

So, my friend, he bought milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for carrot cake.Plus a bottle of Vaseline. Looks like he's going home and stuffing a carrot cake up his ass. When he got home, he peeled a carrot into a short stick, covered it with grease, and sat on it slowly.Then—nothing.No orgasm, nothing but pain. Then this kid, his mother yelled that it was dinner.She said come downstairs, right now. He managed to pluck the carrot out, wrapping the slippery, dirty thing in the dirty laundry under his bed. After dinner, he went to look for the carrot again, but found that it was gone.His mother took all his dirty laundry down while he was eating dinner.She couldn't have missed the fact that the carrot, carefully trimmed with her kitchen paring knife, glistened with grease and stinks.

This friend of mine waited months under a dark cloud for his parents to come and scold him.But they never moved, not at all.Even now that he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs in midair through every Christmas dinner, every birthday party.Every time he goes on an Easter egg hunt with his children, his parents' grandkids, the ghostly carrot hangs over all of them. It was too horrible to describe. The French have a saying: "Aura on the stairs".French is: Esprit d'Escalier.That means the moment you find the answer, but it's too late.Let's say you're at a party and someone insults you.You have to talk back.As a result, under pressure, everyone is staring at you, and you can only falter.But once you leave there...

As soon as you start going down the stairs, just -- like magic, you think of the best thing to say.The words that can most refute the other party. This is the so-called aura on the stairs. The thing is, even the French don't have words for the really stupid things you do under pressure.Stupid and desperate things that you actually think of or do. Some things are so low-level that they cannot be described, and they are so low-level that they cannot even be said. In retrospect, child psychologists and school counselors now say that the last spike in teenage suicide was when kids suffocated themselves while masturbating.Parents found them with towels wrapped around their necks tied to rails in their bedroom closets, dead and dried semen everywhere.Of course the parents would clean up and put pants on for their kids to make things look... better.At least that's what it means.Like the usual sad teen suicide situation.

Another friend of mine, who is also a classmate of mine, whose older brother is in the Navy, said that Middle Eastern handjobs are different from us.The older brother was stationed in several camel countries where the market sold what looked like a fancy letter opener.Each of these fancy tools is just a thin, polished rod of brass or silver, about as long as the palm of your hand, with a big head at one end, or a big ball of metal, or something like a sword hilt Like a bent handle.The brother in the navy said that after the Arab guys hardened their dicks, they would put this thin metal rod in the dick, stick it all the way to the end, and then take the rod in it and handjob it. The orgasm came much more pleasurably and intensely.

It was the big brother who had traveled all over the world to send back French slang, Russian slang, and helpful handjob tips. After that, the younger brother missed school one day.That night, he called and asked if I could help him with his homework for the week because he was in the hospital. He'd have to share a ward with some old men who had had stomach operations, and he said they'd have to share a TV.Privacy is maintained only by a cloth curtain.His parents don't visit him.He said on the phone that his parents should really kill his brother in the Navy right now. The kid told me on the phone that -- the day before -- he was on some drugs.In the bedroom of his home, lying on the bed.He lights a candle, looks at some old porn magazines, and prepares to jerk off.This was after he'd read a letter from his brother in the navy, seeing useful information on how Arabs jerk off.The kid looked everywhere for something that could be used like this.The ballpoint pen is too thick, and the pencil is not only too thick but also too rough.But the thin, smooth stream of wax that ran down the side of the candle was probably just right.The boy picked the long strip of wax off the candle with the tip of one finger, and rubbed it with two palms to make it smoother, long, slippery and thin.

He was a bit dazed and lustful, so he inserted the thing from his asshole into his hard dick, deeper and deeper.He also left a bit of wax out, and started to pistol. Even now, he says those Arabs are fucking smart.They completely reinvented the handjob.He lay on his back on the bed, the boy was getting more and more excited to the point that he forgot to pay attention to the wax, and when he was about to cum again, he found that the wax protruding from his head was gone. The thin strip of wax all slipped in.The whole thing slipped inside, so deep into the ureter that he couldn't even feel it.

His mother called him downstairs for supper.She said come downstairs, right now.The boy with the wax is not the same boy as the boy with the carrot, but our lives are pretty much the same. After dinner, the boy's stomach hurt.It was the wax, so he thought maybe the wax would melt in his stomach and make him pee.Now his back hurts, his kidneys hurt.He couldn't even stand upright. The kid was on the phone from his hospital bed, and you could hear the bells jingling behind you, people screaming, and the game show on the TV. The X-rays revealed the truth. There was a long, thin thing bent in two in his bladder.This long, thin V sucked up all the minerals in his pee.It was getting bigger and rougher, covered with calcium crystals, jumping around, hurting the soft tissue in the inner layer of his bladder, blocking his urination, and his kidneys were being backflowed by urine. The only bit that could come out of his dick was also red with blood.

The kid, his parents, his whole family, they were looking at that black and white X-ray, and the doctors and nurses were standing by.That big wax V was so brightly white for everyone to see, he had to tell the truth.This Arab handjob, his brother in the Navy told him about it. Now, he's crying on the phone. They used his college funds to pay for a bladder operation.Such a stupid mistake, and now he can never be a lawyer again. Inserting things into your own body.Get yourself stuck in something, whether it's a candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we all know you're in trouble.

What got me in trouble is what I call "pearl diving."Which means jerking off underwater, sitting in my parents' swimming pool, on the bottom at the deeper end.I took a deep breath, kicked and dived to the bottom of the pool, and pulled off my swimming trunks.Sit there for two, three, four minutes. I have a lot of lung capacity just from handjobs.As long as no one else is in the house, I can do this all afternoon.When the final ejaculation comes out, my semen will become a big milky white lump suspended in the water. After that, dive in again, scoop these up, scoop them up in handfuls and rub them on a towel.That's why it's called "diving for pearls".Even with chlorine in the pool water.I still worry about my sister, and Almighty Jesus, and my mother.

One of my biggest fears in the world at the time was that my teenage, virgin sister, who always thought she was just getting fatter, ended up giving birth to a retarded baby with two heads.Both heads look like me.I am both father and uncle. In the end, what happens to you is not what you feared. The best part of Pearl Diving is the inlet for the pool filter and recirculation motor.The best part is just sitting there naked. Like the French say: Who doesn't like someone sucking his asshole? But the thing is, one minute you're just a kid trying to have a good time, and the next minute you're never going to be a lawyer again. A minute ago, I was sitting at the bottom of the swimming pool, the sky was chopping, and looking through the eight feet of water above my head, it was a light blue.Except for the beating of my own heart in my ears, the whole world is silent.My yellow-striped swim trunks were worn around my neck for safety, in case a friend, neighbor, or anyone should show up and ask me why I wasn't at soccer practice.The water inlet sucked me in a steady rhythm, and I pressed my white and thin ass down to enjoy the feeling. A minute ago, I took a deep breath and took my dick in my hand.My parents go to work, my sister goes to ballet lessons, and no one comes home for hours. My hand brought me to the verge of orgasm, and I stopped, swam up for a big breath, and dived down to sit on the bottom of the pool. I did this over and over again. That must be why girls want to sit on your face, the suction is like you're constantly shitting.My dick is so hard, my asshole feels like it's being licked all the time, I don't need air.I heard my heart beating in my ears, and I stayed underwater until Venus popped up in front of my eyes.My legs were stretched out straight, and the bends of both knees were scraped against the bottom of the concrete pool.My toes are blue and my toes and fingers are wrinkled from being in the water for too long. Then I let myself orgasm and the big white cum started to squirt.those pearls. Just then, I need some air.But when I wanted to kick the water upstream, I couldn't.I couldn't get my feet under me.My ass is stuck. The people in the emergency unit will tell you that about a hundred and fifty people get stuck like this every year, sucked by the cycle motor.If your hair grows, or if your ass gets stuck, you'll drown.An unknown number of people die each year, mostly in Florida. People just don't talk about it, even the French don't talk about everything. I got up on my knees and tucked one foot under my body. When I half stood up, I felt something tugged on my buttocks.I put my other foot under my body and stepped on the bottom of the pool to swim up.I'm off the bottom of the pool and no longer touches the concrete, but I can't get air either. I stepped hard on the water, paddling with my arms, and got about half way above the water, but couldn't go any higher.The heartbeat in my head was getting louder and faster. The bright light kept flashing in front of my eyes, and I turned my head to look back...but it didn't make any sense.That thick rope, like a certain kind of snake, was blue and white, with blood vessels visible on it, coming up from the water outlet, and bit my butt tightly.Some blood vessels were oozing out. The red blood, which looked black at the bottom of the water, floated out from the small cracks in the snake's pale skin and disappeared into the water. Inside, lumps of half-digested food could still be seen. That was the only thing that made sense, some terrible sea monster, a sea serpent.Something that has never been seen in broad daylight has been hiding in the dark depths of the pool spout, waiting to bite me. So... I kicked hard, kicked the slippery and elastic knotted skin and the blood vessels on it, and it seemed that a longer piece was pulled out of the drain.It's about as long as my leg now, but still clings to my asshole.I kicked hard again, an inch closer to where I could breathe.I still feel the snake biting my ass and pulling down, but I'm an inch closer to escaping. You can see corn and peanuts tangled in the snake's belly.You can also see a long bright orange ball.Like the giant vitamin pills my dad made me take to put on weight so I could win a football scholarship.It has added iron and omega-tri fatty acids. Just seeing that vitamin saved my life. That's not a snake.That's my large intestine.My intestines were pulled out of my body.This is what doctors call a "prolapse."It was my intestines that got sucked into the drain. First responders will tell you that the swimming pool motor pumps eighty gallons per minute.The strength is about 400 pounds.And the biggest problem is that our internal organs are connected together.Your butt is just the other end of your mouth.If I let it go, the motor continues to work - ripping out my guts - and ends up on my tongue.Just think about having to bear four hundred pounds of force, and you can see how that hollows out the inside of you. What I can tell you is that your bowels won't feel much pain.Not like the way your skin feels about pain.What you digest is what doctors call "excretion."A little above that was chyme, a pulpy mass of corn, peanuts, and round green peas. Floating around me was a soup of blood mixed with corn, feces, semen and peanuts.Even though my bowels were dragging out of my ass and I was holding on to what was left, even then the first thing I wanted to do was figure out how to put my swimming trunks back on. God forbid my parents to see my dick. With one hand I fisted my ass hole and with the other I pulled my yellow striped swim trunks from around my neck.However, it is still an impossible task to put on swimming trunks. If you want to feel what your gut feels like, go buy a box of those little lamb gut condoms, take one out, stretch it out, and stuff it with peanut butter.Apply lubricant on the outside and place in water.Then find a way to break it, and find a way to pull it into two parts.It was too tough and stretchy, and too slippery to hold. The condom for lamb intestines is intestines. Now, you can understand what I'm dealing with. As soon as you let go, you will lose your bowels. If you swim to the surface to breathe, your intestines are gone. If you don't swim up, you'll drown. It depends on whether you choose to die immediately or after a minute. What my parents would find when they got home from get off work was a huge naked fetus, curled up in a ball.Floating in the murky water of their backyard pool.It is tied to the bottom of the pool by a twisted, vascularized intestine.Not the same kid who hanged himself during a handjob.This is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago.It's the kid they hope will get a soccer scholarship and an MBA in the future.Will take care of them in their old age.is all their hopes and dreams.Floating there, naked, dead.Surrounded by milky white pearls of wasted semen. Either that or my parents will find me wrapped in a bloody towel halfway between the pool and the kitchen phone, with a severed intestine dragged in the leg of my yellow striped swimming trunks come out. That's something the French don't even talk about. The brother who served in the navy taught us another word.A Russian saying.Like we say, "Anyone who wants this is like a hole in his head." The Russians say, "Whoever wants this is like a tooth in the ass." "Isn't it Xu Nuo? Sheep Xiang Daolong also." You've heard the stories too, about the beast that gets caught in a trap and bites off its own leg, and hey, any coyote will tell you that a few bites are better than death. Damn... even if you're Russian, you might want to have those teeth someday. Otherwise, all you have to do is—you have to turn around.You hook one hand behind your knee and lift that leg up to your face.Then find a way to bite down on your ass.When you're out of breath, you'll bite anything if you can catch another breath. This is something you don't tell a girl on a first date.If you wanted her to kiss you goodnight, she wouldn't. If I told you what it tasted like, you would never, never eat squid again. It's hard to say which one my parents found more disgusting: how I got into trouble, or how I saved my life.After going to the hospital, my mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, baby, you were in shock." And she learned how to make poached eggs. Everyone feels sick or feels sorry for me... I need these like teeth in the ass. Now, people keep saying I look too skinny.When we all had dinner together, we didn't talk because I didn't eat their stew, and I was so angry that I didn't eat it.The stew was too much for me, and the roast ham.Anything that would sit in my stomach for more than two hours before being digested came out the same.Lima beans or large pieces of tuna cooked at home, when I stand up after serving the tuba, I will find that it is still in the toilet. Digestive function is not so good after a large bowel resection.Most people have large intestines about five feet long.I was lucky enough to get six inches left.So I ended up not getting a football scholarship and never getting an MBA.Two of my friends, the Wax Guy and the Carrot Guy, grew up and got stronger, but I never gained a pound over my thirteen-year-old weight. Another big problem is that my parents spent a fortune to fix the pool.In the end my dad just told the guy who came to fix the pool that it was a dog.The family dog ​​fell and drowned.The corpse was sucked into the drain.Even if the guy opens the filter box and pulls out a slippery tube, a piece of wet intestines, and a big orange vitamin pill in it, at which point my dad just says, "That dog is fucking crazy." Even from my upstairs bedroom window, I could hear my old man saying, "That dog, you can't keep it out of sight for a second..." Then my sister's period did not come. Even after they changed all the water in the pool, even after they sold the house and we moved out of state, and my sister had an abortion, my parents never brought it up again. never say. That's the invisible carrot in our house. Now you can take a good, deep breath. Because I haven't breathed in yet. (Finish)