Chapter 8 Chapter 7 Catherine

Catherine Alexander felt as if her life had entered a new phase, as if for some reason her feelings had grown richer, had reached an exciting, exhilarating climax.They ate dinner together every night and then went to a concert, or a play, or an opera, as long as Bill Fraser was in town.He found her a suite near Arlington, not very spacious, but very comfortable.He was to pay the rent for her, but Catherine insisted on paying it herself.He bought her clothes and jewelry.At first, she refused to accept anything, because Puritan morality had left a deep imprint on her, and accepting these gifts would have made her feel very embarrassed, but Fraser obviously enjoyed giving them, so Catherine finally stopped arguing with him about it.

Fraser was a considerate and understanding lover, and she felt as if they had always lived together in the past.Catherine could predict his reaction in almost any situation and understood his various emotions. When Fraser was away, his advertising agency was run by Wallace Turner, who was the senior manager in charge of accounts.William Fraser wanted to keep the company as little as possible so he could concentrate on his work in Washington.But whenever the company encounters a major problem, they must seek his advice.Fraser made it a habit to discuss these matters with Catherine, hoping that she would agree with him.He found her to be very gifted in this area.Catherine often offers her insights on how to run advertising campaigns, and her methods have proven to be very effective.

"If I hadn't been so selfish, Catherine," Fraser said over dinner one night, "I'd have put you in our advertising agency and let you run our finances." He took her by the hand. hand. "But I'm going to miss you," he added. "I want you here with me." "I want to be here, Bill. I'm happy as I am." It was true.She had thought that, in her present situation, she would desire to marry, but for some reason she seemed to feel that there was no need to rush.In all important respects they were married. ※※※ One afternoon, as Catherine was finishing her work, Fraser walked into her office.

"How about a ride into the country tonight?" he asked. "Excellent. Where are we going?" "Virginia. Dinner with my parents." Catherine looked up at him in surprise. "Do they know about the two of us?" she asked. "Not really," he laughed, "just that I have a wonderful young assistant and that I'm going to take her back to dinner." If she felt a moment of disappointment, she didn't let it show on her face. "That's fine," she said, "I'm going to stop at home and change my clothes." "I'll pick you up at seven o'clock."

"It's a deal." ※※※ Nestled in the beautiful rolling hills of Virginia, Fraser's house is a spacious colonial farmhouse surrounded by forty acres of lush meadows and farmland.The history of the house goes back to the eighteenth century. "I've never seen a house like this before." Catherine admired. "It's one of the best cattle ranches in America," Fraser told her. The car drove past a corral full of horses, past well-kept pastures and the ranchkeeper's cabin. "It's like another world," Catherine sighed. "I really envy you growing up here."

"Do you think you like life on the ranch?" "It's not a ranch, exactly," she said dryly. "It's more like your own country." They came to the front of the house. Fraser turned to her. "My parents are a little serious," he told her in advance, "but you don't have to worry, don't slouch. Nervous?" "It's not nervous," Catherine said, "it's panic." When she said that she realized with astonishment that she was lying.According to the tradition of all girls when they meet the parents of their loved ones, she should appear alarmed, but at the moment she felt nothing but curiosity.There is no time to get to the bottom of this.

※※※ They stepped out of the car, and the door was opened for them by a butler in a special uniform, who greeted them with a welcoming smile. Colonel Fraser and his wife looked exactly like characters from an antediluvian storybook.Catherine's first impression was how old they were and how frail they looked.She could vaguely see that Colonel Fraser had once been a handsome and energetic man.She had a strong feeling that he resembled his son, only aged and frail.The colonel's white hair was sparse, and he walked stooped with difficulty.His eyes were light blue, and his once powerful hands were twisted with arthritis.His wife is quite aristocratic, and still has the charm of a beautiful young woman.She is humble and very warm to Catherine.

Regardless of what Fraser said, Catherine felt that she had come here to be examined by them.The colonel and his wife kept questioning her that night.They asked cautiously, but thoroughly.Catherine told them about her parents and her childhood, and when she talked about her constant switching schools, she made it sound like an interesting adventure, never making it sound like she really felt as annoying.As she spoke, she could see Bill Fraser smiling proudly at her. Dinner was extremely sumptuous.They dined by candles in a large old-fashioned dining room with a marble fireplace and servants in livery.Antique silverware, quaint coins and vintage wine.She looked at Bill Fraser, and a wave of gratitude ran through her.She felt that she could live this life if she wanted to.She knew Fraser loved her, and she loved him.However, I always feel that there is still something missing, it should be a kind of passion!She thought maybe she was asking too much.Likely characters like Gary Cooper, Humphrey Bogart, and Spencer Tracy set her on a bias!I'm afraid love doesn't necessarily mean having a knight in shining armor as a lover.Wouldn't a country gentleman in gray tweed be nice too?To hell with all those movies and novels!She looked at the Colonel as if she saw Fraser twenty years later.By then, Bill will be in exactly the same shape as his father is now.For the rest of the evening she seemed very still.

On the way home, Fraser asked, "Have you had a good evening?" "Pleasant. I like your parents." "They like you too." "I'm so happy." She was really happy.In the back of her mind, however, there was a vaguely unsettling thought that, for some reason, she felt that she should be more excited to meet them. When Catherine dined with Fraser at the Jockey Club the next evening, Fraser told her that he was going to London for a week. "While I'm away," he said, "I've got an interesting job for you to do. They're shooting an Army Air Corps recruiting film at MGM Studios in Hollywood, and they're asking us to oversee its production. I think Called you to oversee the film while I was away."

Catherine stared at him in disbelief. "Me? I haven't loaded a Browning automatic rifle yet, so how would I know how to make a military training film?" "No one knows better than you," Fraser said, grinning. "This kind of film is very recent, but you don't have to worry about it. They'll find a producer and set everything up. The Army is going to ask Actors come to make this film." "why?" "I guess they felt that a soldier playing a soldier wasn't necessarily a good fit." "That's how the Army sees things." "I had a long conversation with General Matthews this afternoon, and he used the word 'charisma' at least a hundred times. That's what they're trying to sell. They're launching a massive recruiting campaign targeting the middle class of America's youth. The essence of it. This is their first shot."

"What must I do?" Catherine asked. "As long as the production works without any glitches. It's up to you to approve the film. I've booked you a plane ticket to Los Angeles at nine o'clock tomorrow morning." Catherine nodded: "Okay." "will you miss Me?" "You know I'll miss you," she replied. "I'll bring you a present." "I don't want a gift. I just hope you come back safely." She hesitated. "It's getting worse, isn't it, Bill?" He nodded. "Yeah," he said, "I think we're going to be at war soon." "How terrible." "It would be even more terrible if we hadn't been at war," he said calmly. "The British retreat from Dunkirk was a miracle. If Hitler decided to cross the Channel now, I don't think the British could stop him." They finished their coffee in silence.He paid the bill. "Would you like to come and spend the night at my house?" Fraser asked. "Not tonight," said Catherine. "You must get up early, and I must be early." "Ok." He drove her home.As Catherine was getting ready for bed, she asked herself why she hadn't gone back with Bill on the eve of Bill's going out. She couldn't find an answer. ※※※ Although Catherine has never been to Hollywood, she seems to have grown up there.She spent countless hours in the dark of movie theaters, lost in those glamorous fantasies concocted by the filmmakers of the world.She will forever be grateful to them for the joy she had in those happy moments. When Katherine's plane landed at Burbank Airport, she was thrilled.A car was waiting to take her to the hotel.It was a sunny day, and the first thing Catherine noticed as the car drove down the broad avenue were the palm trees.She had read about palm trees in books and seen photographs, but the real ones fascinated her more.Here and there they stand tall, their graceful trunks bare in the lower part and beautiful in leafy upper part.In the center of each tree was a ring of ragged fronds, which Catherine thought looked like a clumsy petticoat under a green skirt. Their car passed a huge building that looked like a factory.There is a large sign at the entrance that reads: "Warner Bros. Pictures".It also reads below: "Combine good movies with good morals." When the car passed the gate of this building, Catherine thought of "Strawberry Heroes" starring James Cagner and Bette Davis. "Dark Victory", can't help but smile happily. They drove past the Hollywood Bowl, a sprawling structure from the outside.The car then turned, left Hyland Avenue, and headed west on Hollywood Boulevard.They passed the Egyptian Theater, went two blocks west, and passed the Grumman Chinese Theatre.At this time, Catherine was very excited, as if seeing two old friends.The driver turned onto Sunset Boulevard and headed for the Beverly Hills Hotel. "You must be very comfortable in this hotel, miss. It's the first class in the world." ※※※ This was clearly one of the finest restaurants Catherine had ever seen.The hotel is just north of Sunset Boulevard, in the shade of a semicircle of palm trees and surrounded by huge gardens.A handsome driveway curved up to the hotel's front door, painted a tasteful pink.An obliging young assistant manager escorted Catherine to her room.This is a luxurious bungalow situated on the ground behind the main building.There was a bouquet of flowers on the table, with a card from the manager greeting her.There was a bigger and prettier bouquet with a card that said, "Wish I was with you or you were with me. I love you, Bill." The deputy manager handed her three phone records.These calls were all from Alan Benjamin.She already knew that he was the producer of the training film. Catherine was reading a card written by Bill when the phone rang.She ran over, picked up the receiver, and said eagerly, "Bill?" But it was Alan Benjamin who called. "Welcome to California, Miss Alexander," his voice sounded harsh from the microphone. "I'm Corporal Alan Benjamin, the producer of this little promotional film." corporal.She had thought they would put a captain or colonel in charge. "We start filming tomorrow. Did they tell you we're using actors, not soldiers?" "I've heard," Catherine replied. "We start filming at nine o'clock in the morning. If you can get here by eight o'clock, I want you to meet the actors. You know what the Army Air Corps needs." "Okay," Catherine said briskly.She had no idea what the Army Aviation needed, but she reckoned that if she used common sense to choose people who looked like pilots, she'd be fine. "I'll send a car to pick you up at seven-thirty tomorrow morning," said the voice on the microphone. "You'll be in Mitro in half an hour. Mitro is in Colver. Studio Three meets you." Catherine didn't fall asleep until just before four o'clock in the morning, and it seemed as if she had just closed her eyes when the phone rang and the operator told her that a car was waiting for her. Thirty minutes later, Catherine was on her way to MGM Studios. ※※※ This is the largest film company in the world.In the main factory there are thirty-two well-equipped studios and a tall administrative office building, working in the building are Louis. B. Mayer, twenty-five managers and some of the most famous directors and producers in the film industry with the writer.In the first branch, there are huge permanent outdoor sets, which are often adjusted and used to shoot various films.In just three minutes, you can drive past the Swiss Alps, a town in the American West, a ghetto in Manhattan and the beaches of Hawaii.The second branch, at the end of Washington Boulevard, houses multimillion-dollar props and graphic sets, and is used to shoot exteriors of all kinds of majestic spectacle. All this was introduced to Catherine by her guide.It was a young girl who had been sent to show her to Studio 13. “Hollywood is a city unto itself,” she said proudly. “We generate our own electricity, our own cafeteria prepares meals for more than 6,000 people a day, and we make our own sets in a branch factory in the back. We are completely self-sufficient and need nothing.” to anyone." "It's just asking for the audience." As they walked along the street, they passed a castle set, with only the front, supported by columns two inches by four inches thick.Opposite the castle is a lake.At the end of the street is the set of a theater parlor in San Francisco.The set does not include the theater itself, only the living room. Catherine laughed loudly, and the girl stared at her blankly. "Any questions?" she asked. "Nothing," said Catherine, "everything is fine." Dozens of hired extras walked the streets, some dressed as cowboys or Indians.They made their way to the studio, chatting affectionately along the way.A man came out of the corner suddenly, Catherine stepped back to make way for him, and found him in armor, dressed as a knight.Behind him was a group of girls in bathing suits.Catherine felt that although the stay in the film industry this time would not be long, it was indeed a good job.She wished her father had seen all this.He must be very happy. "Here we are," said the guide.They had come to a huge gray building.On the side of the building there is a sign that reads: "Studio 13". "I'll just leave you here. You won't be inconvenient, will you?" "Okay," Catherine said, "thank you." The guide nodded and left. Catherine turned to the studio and saw a sign above the door saying: "Do not enter when the light is red".At this moment, the light was not on, so Catherine took the handle of the door and opened it.Unexpectedly, the door was so heavy that she pulled it open with all her strength. Catherine went in and found that there was another door in front of her, as heavy and huge as the first door.It's like entering a decompression chamber. In the soundproof studio, there are dozens of people running around, everyone is nervously working on some seemingly mysterious work.There was a group of men in aviation uniforms.Catherine realizes that they are the actors who will appear in this film.In the far corner of the studio, there is a complete office set, including desk and chair, and a huge military map hangs on the wall.Technicians are lighting the set. "Excuse me," she said to a person walking past her. "Is Mr. Alan Benjamin here?" "The little corporal?" He pointed with his finger. "Where." Catherine turned and saw a thin and frail man in an ill-fitting military uniform with corporal armbands.He was yelling at a man wearing a general's star. "Fuck, what does the director say," he yelled, "how can I get so many generals. What I need are sergeants." He raised his hand in despair. "Everybody wants to be an officer, and nobody wants to be an Indian." "I'm sorry," Catherine said, "I'm Catherine Alexander." "Thank goodness!" said the little man.Turning to the others, he complained, "Stop the joke, you smart fools. The officials from Washington are here." Catherine looked at him in amazement.Before she could say anything, the little corporal said, "I don't know what I'm doing here. I edited a furniture magazine in Dearborn for thirty-five thousand dollars a year, and I enlisted as a signalman." , and was sent to write scripts for military training films. What do I know about producers or directors? I have never seen such a chaotic situation." He hiccupped and rubbed his heart. "I have a stomach ulcer," he moaned. "I'm not in the movie business. Excuse me." He turned and hurried to the door, leaving Catherine standing alone.She glanced helplessly around.Everyone seemed to be staring at her to see what she would do. A tall, thin man with gray hair came up to her.He was wearing a sweater and smiling, clearly amused by the spectacle. "Need help?" he asked quietly. "What I need is a miracle," Catherine said frankly. "I was in charge of the film and I didn't know what to do." He grinned at her. "Welcome to Hollywood. My name is Tom O'Brien and I'm the assistant." She looked at him, feeling very puzzled, not understanding what a "assistant" was. "Assistant director. Your friend, the corporal, is supposed to direct the film, but I have a feeling he won't be coming back." The man seemed calm and confident, which Catherine liked. "How long have you been working at MGM?" she asked. "Twenty-five years." "Do you think you can direct this film?" She saw the corners of his mouth twist. "I could try," he said gravely. "I've directed six films with Willie Wyler." His eyes grew more serious. "It's not as bad as it looks," he said. "It just needs to be organized. The script is written and the sets are ready." "That's just the beginning," said Catherine.She looked around the studio, at the military uniforms they were wearing.Most people's uniforms don't fit well and look awkward. "They look like they're advertising for Navy enlistment," Catherine remarked. O'Brien smiled approvingly. "Where did you get these uniforms?" "Suit store. We have all the military uniforms in our clothing department on loan. We are shooting three war films." Catherine examined the actors carefully. "Only six or seven sets are totally useless," she judged. "Let's send these back and see if we can find some more suitable." O'Brien nodded in agreement. "it is good." Catherine and O'Brien approach a group of extras.The boisterous conversation on the set was deafening. "Shut up, boys," cried O'Brien. "This is Miss Alexander. She's in charge of the business here now." A few whistled and others hissed, all in approval. "Thanks," Catherine smiled. "Most of you look fine, but a few of you have to go back to the suit shop for a change of uniform. Line up so we can take a closer look at you." "I'd like to take a closer look at you. Who are you having dinner with tonight?" someone called. "Ate with my husband," Catherine said, "and we went right after his game." O'Brien lined up the men, and they stood unevenly.Catherine turned away annoyed at hearing laughter and talking nearby.There was an extra standing by a set, rapping to three girls.They listened with interest to everything he said, and whatever he said they laughed like crazy. Catherine watched for a moment, then walked up to the person and said, "I'm sorry. Can you line up with the others?" The man turned around slowly. "Are you talking to me?" he asked lazily. "Yes," Catherine said, "we're going to work," and she walked away. He whispered something to the three girls, which caused a burst of laughter, and he lumbered after Catherine.He was tall, thin but strong, and very handsome, with blue-gray hair and wild blue eyes.When he spoke, his voice was low and seemed arrogant, but full of joy. "Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked Catherine. "Do you want to work?" Catherine replied. "I think, I think," he assured her. Catherine once read an article about extras.They are a strange kind of people who spend their lives in the soundless studio.When stars appear in mass scenes, they act as the background and enhance the atmosphere.They are a few unknown juniors with no voice, born with no ambitions, and looking for meaningful work.The man in front of her is the perfect example.Because of his extraordinary handsome looks, some people in his hometown may have told him that he could become a star.Later, when he came to Hollywood, he realized that he needed not only handsomeness, but talent, so he became an extra.This is the easiest way out. "Some of us have to change our uniforms," ​​said Catherine patiently. "Isn't my uniform suitable too?" he asked. Catherine took a good look at the military uniform he was wearing and had to admit that it fit him perfectly.The military uniform set off his broad shoulders, but not too much, and gradually tightened around his narrow waist.She looked at his shirt.He wears the captain's star on his shoulder.He pinned a row of brightly colored medals on his chest. "Are you impressed by these medals, my superior?" he asked. "Who told you you'd play the captain?" He looked at her gravely. "My own idea. Don't you think I can play the captain?" Catherine shook her head. "Yes. I don't think so." He pouted thoughtfully. "Lieutenant?" "No." "Is the lieutenant okay?" "I don't think you're officer material." His blue eyes stared at her in bewilderment. "Oh? Anything else wrong?" he asked. "Yes," she said, "those medals. You must be very brave." he laughed. "I thought I'd add a little color to the damn flick." "Only one thing you've forgotten," said Catherine briskly, "we haven't gone to war yet. You must have won these medals at the carnival." The man grinned at her. "You're right," he admitted timidly, "I hadn't thought of that. I'd take some of my medals off." "Take them all down," said Catherine. He gave her another slow, impolite grin. "Okay, my boss." She said, almost like a reprimand, "Don't call me the boss again." Later, she thought about it, why bother with him, and turned to talk to O'Brien. ※※※ Catherine told eight people to go back and change their uniforms.She then spent an hour discussing the scene with O'Brien.The little corporal came back once, but after a while he disappeared again.Catherine thought it was all right.He just kept complaining, which made everyone very nervous.O'Brien finished filming the first scene before lunch, and Catherine thought things were going pretty well.There was only one incident that made her feel a little unhappy this morning.Catherine tries to make a fool of himself by having the irritating extra read a few lines.She wanted to make a fool of him on the spot, to avenge his insolence.However, he delivered his lines flawlessly, and he handled things with aplomb.When he had finished, he turned to her and said, "You read well, sir?" When the group broke up for lunch, Catherine went to the studio's huge lunch canteen and sat down at a small table in the corner.At a large table next to her sat a group of soldiers in uniform.Facing the door, Catherine saw the extra come in, followed by the three girls who were jostling to get closer to him. Catherine felt the blood rush to her face.She concluded it was nothing more than a psychological reaction.There are some people you hate when you meet them, just as there are others you like when you see them.His domineering appearance irritated her.He would be perfect for a gigolo, and he probably was. He led the three girls to a table and sat down, looked up and saw Catherine, and said something to the girls.They all looked at her, and burst out laughing.Damn him!She watched him approach her table.He stood staring at her with that slow, worldly smile on his face. "Is it alright if I sit with you for a while?" he asked. "I—" But he had already sat down and was looking at her.His eyes were testing her, cheerful. "What are you going to do?" said Catherine stiffly. He laughed even wider. "You really want to know?" She closed her mouth angrily. "listen--" "I wanted to ask you," he said quickly, "how I read this morning." He leaned forward eagerly. "Is my acting convincing?" "You may be able to convince them," said Catherine, nodding at the girls, "but if you want my opinion, I think you're a liar." "What have I offended you?" "Everything you say or do makes me angry," she said sharply. "I just don't like you." "What kind of person am I?" "You're a liar. You like showing off around girls in that uniform, but have you ever considered joining the army?" He gazed at her suspiciously. "To be targeted?" he asked. "That's what idiots do." He leaned over her and grinned. "It's much more interesting now." Catherine's lips trembled with anger. "Aren't you eligible for conscription?" "I suppose technically I'm qualified, but a friend of mine knows somebody in Washington, so—" He lowered his voice, "I don't think they'll ever come to me." "I think you are a mean fellow," said Catherine furiously. "why?" "If you don't know it yourself, how can I tell you clearly." "Why don't you try it? Just tonight at supper, how about? Here you go. Do you cook yourself?" Catherine stood up, her cheeks flushed with rage. "You don't have to come to the set anymore," she said. "I'll tell O'Brien to pay you this morning's wages." She turned around and left, only then did she remember to ask, "What's your name?" "Douglas," he said. "Larry Douglas." ※※※ The next night, Fraser called Catherine from London to ask how things were going.She reported to him the events of that day, but made no mention of the Larry Douglas episode.She was going to tell Fraser when he got back to Washington, and they would talk about it together as a joke. Early the next morning, while Catherine was getting dressed to go to the studio, the doorbell rang.She opened the door to the room where a delivery man was standing holding a bouquet of roses. "Is that Catherine Alexander?" he asked. "yes." "Please sign here." She signed the form he handed over. "How lovely," she said, taking the flowers. "Fifteen dollars." "What did you say?" "Fifteen dollars. This bouquet is an unpaid shipment." "I don't understand—" Her lips were drawn together. Catherine reached for the card attached to the flower and pulled it out of the envelope. The card reads: "I should have paid for the flowers myself, but I don't have a job. I love you, Larry." She stared blankly at the card, unable to believe her eyes. "Hey, do you want these flowers?" asked the delivery man. "No," she said angrily.She shoved the flower back into his arms. He looked at her, puzzled. "He said you'd laugh, that it was a joke that only the two of you could understand." "I'm not laughing," said Catherine.She slammed the door shut in a rage. All day long, this incident has irritated her greatly.She had met selfish people before, but none so insolent and outrageous as Larry Douglas.She decided that he had always been handy at winning over stupid, ignorant blondes and brunettes, but Catherine felt demeaned and insulted by the fact that he included her in that category.The thought of him made her hairs stand on end with disgust.She was determined to erase him from her mind, why bother with him! At seven o'clock that night, Catherine was leaving the set when an assistant came up to her with an envelope in his hand. "Did you take money for these things, Miss Alexander?" he asked. Here's a bill from Actors General Services that reads: Catherine looked up, her face flushed. "No charge!" she said. He stared at her: "how do I tell them?" "Tell them I'll pay for the medals if they're awarded after his death." ※※※ Three days later, the filming was over. The next day, Catherine watched the preliminary edited film and expressed her approval.The film won't win awards, but it's straightforward and will have the desired effect. Tom O'Brien did a great job. ※※※ On Saturday afternoon, Catherine boarded a plane to Washington.She had never been so happy to leave a city before.On Monday morning, she was back in her office trying to finish the work that had piled up while she was away. Shortly before lunch, her secretary, Anne, said on the intercom: "A call from a Mr. Larry Douglas from Hollywood, California, payable by the answerer. Would you like to answer?" "No!" she snapped. "Tell him. I—wait a minute. I'll tell him myself." She took a deep breath and pressed the telephone button. "Is that Mr. Douglas?" "Good morning." His voice still had that bombastic tone. "It was hard to find you. Do you like roses?" "Mr. Douglas—" Catherine began.Her voice trembled with anger.She took another deep breath and said, "Mr. Douglas, I love roses. I don't like you. I don't like you at all. Is that clear?" "You don't know anything about me." "I know too much. I think you are cowardly and cowardly, and I don't want to get your call again." She trembled all over, and slammed the microphone down, her eyes filled with angry tears.How dare he do this!How happy she would be if Bill came back. ※※※ Three days later Catherine received a ten-by-twelve photograph of Douglas in the mail.The inscription on the photo reads: "To my boss, Larry who loves you." Annie looked at the photo with admiration and said, "God! Is there such a person?" "Fakes," Catherine explained sarcastically, "the only thing that's real is the paper it was printed on." She tore the photo to pieces in a rage. Annie watched from the sidelines, stunned. "What a pity. I've never seen such a handsome man." “在好莱坞，”凯瑟琳阴沉沉地说，“那里只有正面的布景——没有基础。你刚才见到的就是这么个东西。” 此后，连续两个星期里，拉里·道格拉斯至少打了十几次电话。凯瑟琳告诉安妮，叫他不要再打电话，他来了电话也不要告诉她。 一天早上，安妮正在记录凯瑟琳口授的信件，她抬起头，抱歉地说：“我知道你曾告诉我别再为道格拉斯先生打来的电话打扰你，但是他又来了电话，他显得那么急切，哎……真有点疯了。” “他确实是疯了，”凯瑟琳冷冰冰地说，“如果你还算聪明的话，你就不会去找他。” “他说话真动听。” “他装得那么甜蜜动人。” “他问了许多有关你的问题。”她注意到凯瑟琳的脸色。“但是，当然，”她赶紧补充说，“我什么也没对他讲。” “你这样做很聪明，安妮。” 凯瑟琳又开始口授信件，但是她心不在焉。她想世界上到处都是拉里·道格拉斯式的人。这使她更加欣赏威廉·弗雷泽。 ※※※ 星期天早上，比尔要回来，凯瑟琳到机场去接他。她站在那儿等他，看着他经过了海关检查，朝出口处走来。他看见她时，脸上露出了喜悦的笑容。 “凯茜，”他说，“真是出乎预料。我没想到你会来接我。” “我等不及了。”她嫣然一笑，然后又热情地拥抱他。他不禁困惑地看了她一眼。 “你想我了。”他说。 “比你能想象的有过之而无不及。” “在好莱坞过得愉快吗？”他问。“进行得还不错吧？” She hesitated. “很好。他们对这部片子很满意。” “我也听说了。” “比尔，下次你外出，”她说，“带我一起去。” 他看着她，心里有说不出的高兴，也很激动。 “一言为定。”弗雷泽说。“我在国外很想你。我一直在考虑有关你的事。” "yes?" "Do you love me?" “非常爱你，弗雷泽先生。” “我也爱你，”他说，“我们今晚为什么不出去痛痛快快地吃一顿？” 她笑了：“好极了。” “我们到杰弗逊俱乐部去吃晚饭。” 她驾车把弗雷泽送到他的家门口。 “我要打的电话不知有多少，”他说，“我们在俱乐部见面好吗？八点钟。” "Okay," she said. ※※※ 凯瑟琳回到她的住处，洗了些东西，熨了些衣服。每当她经过电话时，她想铃也许会响，但一直没有声音。她想起拉里·道格拉斯企图从安妮那儿探听她的情况，不禁气得咬牙切齿。或许她该和弗雷泽谈谈，把道格拉斯的名字告诉征兵局。 “不，我不愿找那个麻烦，”她心里这么想，“他们很可能会不愿意接受这么个人。他会被审讯，被判犯了淫乱罪。” 她洗了头，舒舒服服地洗了个澡，花去很长的时间。她正在擦干身上的水时，电话铃响了。 她走过去，拿起话筒。 “谁呀？”她冷冷地说。 是弗雷泽。 “喂，”他说，“出了什么事吗？” “怎么会呢，比尔，”她立即说，“我——我才洗完澡。” “我打电话是要告诉你，我很想你。别来迟了。” Catherine smiled. "Won't." 她慢腾腾地把话筒放下，心里却仍然在想着比尔。她第一次感到他准备向她求婚。他将会要求她当威廉·弗雷泽夫人。她大声地念着这个名称：“威廉·弗雷泽夫人。”这名字听起来很顺耳，显得非常尊贵。她心里想：上帝，我太沉浸在快乐之中了，这个称呼变得不那么激动人心了。如果在六个月之前，我就会欣喜若狂，而现在我只是感到这名称听起来很顺耳，显得非常尊贵而已。我真的变得这么厉害吗？这个想法并不能使她感到宽慰。她看了看时钟，连忙开始穿衣服。 ※※※ 杰弗逊俱乐部坐落在F街上，是一幢和其他建筑物分开的大楼，用砖建成的。大楼与街道之间尚有一段距离，四周围着铁栅栏。这座城市有许多对入会实行严格控制的俱乐部，杰弗逊俱乐部就是其中最严格的一个。如果谁想轻而易举地入会，那他的父亲就得是俱乐部成员。如果先天不足，那么他就得由三位成员共同推荐。入会申请每年讨论一次，在秘密投票中只要有一个人反对，那么申请人就一辈子失去了加入俱乐部的机会，因为有一条严格的规定，不容许任何人提出第二次申请。 威廉·弗雷泽的父亲是俱乐部的创办人之一，弗雷泽和凯瑟琳至少每周在那儿吃一次晚饭。这儿的厨师曾在罗特希尔德银行的法国分行干过二十年，烹饪技术极其高明。这儿的酒窖在美国享有盛名，位居第三。俱乐部是由世界上最杰出的装璜家装璜的，特别注意颜色的谐调和光线的柔和，使那些淑女们沐浴在明亮的烛光之中，更衬托出她们容貌的美丽。在特定的晚上，在这儿进餐的人会遇到副总统，内阁和最高法院的成员，参议员和有势力的实业家。这些实业家控制着具有国际规模的庞大企业。 凯瑟琳到达时，弗雷泽正在门厅等她。 “我来迟了吗？”她问。 “即使迟到了也没关系，”弗雷泽说，同时用毫不掩饰的赞美的目光注视着她。“你是不是知道你的美貌简直使人不敢相信自己的眼睛？” “当然知道，”她回答说，“人人都知道我是绝色佳人凯瑟琳·亚历山大。” “我说的是真心话，凯茜。”他说话的语气很认真，以致她感到有些窘迫。 “谢谢你，比尔，”她尴尬地说，“别那样盯着我看。” “我是情不自禁啊。”他说。他搀住了她伸过来的手臂。 路易斯把他们引到了一个角落里的隔间，他是餐厅侍者的总管。“请坐在这儿，亚历山大小姐，弗雷泽先生，希望你们能吃得满意。” 凯瑟琳喜欢让杰弗逊俱乐部的餐厅总管知道她的名字。她知道她这种想法很幼稚，很天真，但这使她感到自己是一位要人，是这儿的一位成员。这时，她在椅子里向后靠去，全身松弛了下来，感到十分满足，打量着餐厅。 “喝一点酒吗？”弗雷泽问。 “不，谢谢你。”凯瑟琳说。 He shook his head. “我得教你学会一些坏习惯。” “你已经这么做了。”凯瑟琳低声说。 他对着她嘻嘻笑了一下，叫了一杯搀苏打水的苏格兰威士忌酒。 她端详着他，心里想他是多么的亲切，可爱。她肯定，她能给他带来幸福的。她如果嫁给他，也会得到幸福。她拼命地说服自己：“一定是非常幸福的。”问谁都会这样说的。不信的话，可以去问《时代》杂志。隔了一会儿，她恨透了自己，竟然那样思考问题。上帝啊，她到底出了什么毛病？思想会这么变了？ “比尔。”她才开口——就顿住了。 拉里·道格拉斯正朝他们走来，当他看见并且认出了凯瑟琳时，嘴唇上浮现出一丝微笑。他穿着从演员总服务部弄来的陆军航空兵制服。她难以置信地看着他走到他们的桌子跟前，愉快地咧着嘴笑。 “喂，是你。”他说。但是，他不是在对凯瑟琳讲话，而是在跟比尔打招呼，比尔站起来和他握手。 “见到你真高兴，比尔。” “见到你太好了，拉里。”凯瑟琳凝视着他们俩，脑子完全麻木了，怎么也运转不起来。 弗雷泽说：“凯茜，这是劳伦斯·道格拉斯上尉。拉里，这是亚历山大小姐——凯瑟琳。” 拉里·道格拉斯正在低头注视着她，他蓝色的眼睛似乎在讥笑她。“我简直无法表达遇见你是多么荣幸，亚历山大小姐。”他严肃地说。 凯瑟琳张开嘴想说些什么，但是她突然意识到她没有什么可讲的。弗雷泽看着她，等她开口说话。她好不容易才点了点头。她生怕会说出不得体的话。 “和我们一起吃饭好吗，拉里？”弗雷泽问。 拉里看着凯瑟琳，谦恭地说：“如果你肯定我不打扰——” “当然不打扰。坐下。” 拉里坐在凯瑟琳身边的座位上。 “你想喝点什么？”弗雷泽问。 “加苏打水的苏格兰威士忌酒。”拉里回答说。 “我也要苏打威士忌酒，”凯瑟琳鲁莽地说，“要两杯。” 弗雷泽诧异地看着她。“我简直不敢相信。” “你说你要教我一些坏习惯，”凯瑟琳说，“我想还是现在就开始。” 弗雷泽要了酒之后转向拉里，说：“我不断地从特里将军那儿听到你的战绩——不仅在空战中，而且在陆战中的战绩。” 凯瑟琳盯着拉里，脑子里紧张地思索着，想适应新的局面。“那些勋章……”她说。 他若无其事地注视着她。 “怎么样？”她抑制了一下自己的感情。“噢——你是从哪儿弄来的？” “我是在狂欢节上得到的。”他严肃地说。 “特殊的狂欢节，”弗雷泽笑了，“拉里一直在驾驶飞机和英国皇家空军并肩作战。他是那儿的美国飞行中队的队长。他们叫他来负责华盛顿的一个战斗机基地，帮助训练一些年轻的飞行员，使他们将来能参加战斗。” 凯瑟琳转过脸盯着拉里。他正和善地对着她笑，眼睛欢快地转动着。凯瑟琳记起了他们第一次见面时所说的每一句话，好像重新放映了一部旧电影。她命令他取下上尉肩章，摘掉勋章，他却心甘情愿地一一照办。她自命不凡，专横傲慢——她还称他为胆小鬼！她真想钻到桌子下面去。 “你要是早让我知道你要到市区来该多好，”弗雷泽说，“我会为你献上一头肥壮的小牛。我们应该举行一个盛大的宴会来欢迎你的归来。” “我更喜欢这样。”拉里说。他看了凯瑟琳一眼，她转过脸，不敢对着他的眼睛。“其实，”拉里继续用若无其事的口气说，“在好莱坞时，我找过你，比尔。我听说你们正在拍摄一部航空兵训练片。” 他停下来点了一支烟，小心地把火柴吹灭。“我到了摄影棚，但是你不在那儿。” “我有事去伦敦了，”弗雷泽回答说。“凯瑟琳在那儿。我感到很惊奇，你们竟然没碰上。” 凯瑟琳抬起头看着拉里，他正注视着她，他的眼神显得很快活。现在该讲一讲发生过的事了。她要告诉弗雷泽，他们三人会把这事当作一个有趣的故事一笑了之。但是不知什么缘故，要说的话卡在喉咙里，怎么也讲不出来。 拉里等了一会儿，见她没开口，便说：“那地方很拥挤，我猜想我们俩谁也没看见谁。” 她恨他用这种方法来解除她的困境，使他们站在一条战壕里来欺骗弗雷泽。 酒来了以后，凯瑟琳很快把她的酒喝完了，又要了一杯。这是她一生中最可怕的一个晚上。她迫不及待地想离开餐厅，从拉里·道格拉斯身旁逃走。 弗雷泽请他谈谈他的战争经历，拉里把他所经历的战斗讲得很轻松，很有趣。他显然对任何事都不那么认真。他不是一个性格坚强的人。但是凯瑟琳不情愿地承认，公平地说，一个性格不坚强的人不会自愿参加英国皇家空军，并成为一个与德国空军作战的英雄。如果说正因为他是英雄她才更恨他这倒是合情合理的。她自己都无法理解她的这种态度。当她喝第三杯威士忌酒的时候，她郁闷地思索着。他是英雄还是叫花子般的临时演员，那有什么关系？这时她意识到只要他是叫花子，他就恰好属于她能够对付的一类人。在迷迷糊糊的酒意之中，她向后靠着，听这两个男人谈话。拉里讲话时带着一种殷切的热情，一种显而易见的活力，这种活力传到了她身上，感染了她。现在她似乎感到在她遇到过的人当中，他最富有生命力。凯瑟琳觉得他的生活毫无拘束，他把自己全部的感情和精力都倾注在他要做的每一件事上。他嘲笑那些畏首畏尾的人，胆怯的人，这就够了。像她这样的人。 她几乎什么东西也没吃，也不知道她正在吃什么。她的目光和拉里的相遇了，仿佛他早已是她的情人，仿佛他们一直待在一起，情投意合，尽管她明白这是多么愚蠢。他像一阵旋风，一种自然的力量，任何女人只要被卷进了旋风的中心，就必将被毁灭。 拉里正对着她微笑。“恐怕我只顾自己高谈阔论，把亚历山大小姐撇在一边了，”他有礼貌地说，“我可以肯定她讲话要比我们俩更有趣味得多。” “你说错了，”凯瑟琳含糊地说，“我的生活非常枯燥。我和比尔在一起工作。”她一说出口就感到调子有问题，脸都红了。 “我的意思不是那个，”她说。 "I mean--" “我知道你的意思。”拉里说。她恨他。他转向比尔。“你在哪儿找到她的？” “我很走运，”弗雷泽热情地说，“太走运了。你还没有结婚？” 拉里耸耸肩膀。“谁愿意嫁给我？” “你这杂种。”凯瑟琳暗暗地想。她把餐厅环视了一遍。有五六个女人在注视着拉里，有些偷偷地看他，还有些公开地盯着他。他富有男性的吸引力。 “英国姑娘怎么样？”凯瑟琳鲁莽地说。 “她们挺不错。”他说，显得很有礼貌。“当然，我没有那么多时间去干那种事。我忙着飞行。” 她大声地说：“我为那些可怜的姑娘感到难过。请看看她们失去了多少东西。”她的语调很尖刻，虽然她并不想这样说话。 弗雷泽看着她，她的粗鲁使他感到疑虑。“凯茜！”他说。 “让我们再喝一杯。”拉里迅速插进来说。 “我看凯瑟琳大概已经喝得够多了。”弗雷泽回答说。 “没有！”凯瑟琳开口说，她恐惧地意识到她的发音含糊不清。“我看我得回家了。”她说。 “好吧，”弗雷泽说着转向拉里，“凯瑟琳通常不喝酒。”他抱歉地说。 “我猜想她又见到了你太激动了。”拉里说。 凯瑟琳想拿起一杯水向他泼去。当他以叫花子的面貌出现时，她还没有这样恨他。现在她更恨他。她不知道为什么。 ※※※ 第二天早上，凯瑟琳带着宿醉醒来，她相信自己将成为医学史上的奇迹。她的肩上至少有三个头，所有的头都在按照不同的节拍跳动着。她感到躺在床上十分难受，但移动一下就更叫人受不了。她躺在那儿，想抑制住那令人恶心的感觉，但昨晚发生的一切在她的脑海中涌现，使她感到更加痛苦。她不分情由地把她的宿醉归罪于拉里·道格拉斯，因为如果不是为了他，她是滴酒不沾的。凯瑟琳痛苦地转过头，看了看床旁的钟。她睡过了头。她心里激烈地斗争着，不知该待在床上还是去叫人工呼吸急救队。她小心翼翼地从床上爬起来，仿佛刚脱离了临死状态，拖着身体走进了浴室。她蹒跚地走到淋浴龙头下，打开了冷水，让冰凉的水喷洒在身上。当冷水冲到她身上时，她大声地尖叫起来。但是淋完浴之后，她觉得好一些了。她仔细想：“不是舒服，只是比以前好一些。” 四十五分钟之后，她已经坐在办公室的写字台旁。秘书安妮走了进来，非常激动。“猜猜看，有什么不寻常的事？”她说。 “今天早上别让我猜什么，”凯瑟琳轻声地说，“好姑娘，说话轻一点。” “看！”安妮把报纸递到她面前。 "It's him." 在第一版上有一张拉里·道格拉斯的照片，他身穿军服，正傲慢地对着她露齿而笑。标题是这样的：“美国空中英雄从英国皇家空军回到华盛顿，负责新的战斗机部队。”接下来是一篇报道，占了两栏的篇幅。 “这难道不使人激动？”安妮问。 “可恶！”凯瑟琳说。她使劲地把报纸扔进了废纸篓。“我们是不是可以开始工作了？” 安妮惊异地看着她。“十分抱歉，”她说，“我——我想既然他是你的朋友，你会对此感兴趣的。” “他不是朋友，”凯瑟琳纠正她的说法，“还不如说他是敌人。”她注意到安妮脸上的表情。“我们是不是可以忘掉道格拉斯先生？” “当然可以，”安妮带着困惑的口气说，“我对他说过，我认为你会感到高兴的。” 凯瑟琳盯着她。“什么时候说的？” “今天早上他打来电话的时候。他打了三次电话。” 凯瑟琳硬逼着自己用很随便的口气说话。 "Why didn't you tell me?" “你跟我说过，如果他来了电话别跟你说。”她注视着凯瑟琳，脸上带着迷惑的表情。 “他留下了电话号码吗？” "No." “好。”凯瑟琳想起了他的面容，想起了他那双带着逗笑的神情的蓝色的大眼睛。“好！”她又重复了一声，显得更加坚决。她口授完一些信件。 当安妮离开了房间之后，凯瑟琳走到废纸篓跟前，又把那张报纸拿了出来。她逐字逐句地读了有关拉里的报道。他是一位击落了八架德国飞机的王牌飞行员，曾经两次在英吉利海峡上空被击落。 她跟安妮通了话。“如果道格拉斯先生再来电话，我要和他谈谈。” 对方稍微沉寂了一会儿，说：“好的，亚历山大小姐。” 对这个人如此粗鲁毕竟毫无意义。凯瑟琳只不过想为她在摄影棚的所作所为向他道歉，叫他别再给她打电话了。她将要和威廉·弗雷泽结婚。 她整个下午都在等他再打电话来。到了六点钟，他还没有打来电话。“他为什么要给我打电话？”凯瑟琳问自己。“他正在外面跟一串姑娘鬼混。” 在离开办公室的时候，她对安妮说：“如果道格拉斯先生明天打电话来，告诉他我不在。” 安妮连眼睛也没有眨一下。“好的，亚历山大小姐。晚安。” "Good night." 凯瑟琳乘电梯下楼，她陷入了沉思。她可以肯定比尔·弗雷泽想和她结婚。最恰当的做法是告诉他，她想立即完婚。她今晚就告诉他。他们将出去度蜜月。等到他们回来时，拉里·道格拉斯就已经离开了市区，或者可以采取别的对策。 ※※※ 电梯到达门厅时，门开了，拉里·道格拉斯靠着墙站在那儿。他把勋章和勋表全取下来了，只佩戴着中尉的肩章。他微微一笑，向她走来。 “这样好一些吗？”他欢快地问。 凯瑟琳盯着他，她的心剧烈地跳动着。“难道——难道随便戴肩章不违反规定吗？” “我不知道，”他认真地说。“我以为你是总管。” 他站在那儿，低着头看她。她轻声地说：“别跟我这样。我要你别再纠缠我，我只属于比尔的。” “你的结婚戒指在哪儿？” 凯瑟琳从他身旁擦过，开始朝通往大街的门走去。当她到达门口时，他已经在她前面，为她把门打开了。 在街上他搀住了她的手臂。她感到全身一震。他身上似乎有一股电流传过来，烧痛了她。“凯茜——”他开口说。 “看在上帝的分上，”她绝望地说，“你想从我这儿得到什么？” “一切。”他平静地说。“我想得到你。” “不，你不能得到我，”她呜咽着说，“去折磨别人吧。”她转身就走，但他又把她拉回来。 "What the hell does that mean?" “我不知道，”凯瑟琳说，她的眼睛里充满了泪水。“我不知道我在说些什么。我——我昨天喝了酒，现在还有些头晕。我想死。” 他同情地咧着嘴笑了。“我有一个醒酒的妙方。”他领着她走进了大楼的车库。 “我们这是上哪儿？”她恐慌地问。 “去取我的小汽车。” 凯瑟琳抬起头看着他，想从他脸上发现洋洋得意的神情，但是她所看到的是一张强壮、英俊得令人难以相信的脸，充满了温柔和同情。 看车的人把一辆棕色的折篷赛车停在他们面前，车的顶篷已经放下来了。拉里扶凯瑟琳上车后，坐进了驾驶盘后面的座位。她直僵僵地看着正前方，知道自己把一生都要毁了，却又不能自制。仿佛所有这一切都发生在别人身上。她想叫那个坐在车上的中了邪的傻姑娘逃走。 “到你那儿还是去我家？”拉里温和地问。 She shook her head. “哪儿都一样。”她绝望地说。 “还是到我那儿去吧。” 看来他也并不太迟钝。或者说，他不愿到威廉·弗雷泽经常光临的地方去，以免产生不必要的麻烦。 暮色已经降临大地。拉里熟练地驾驶着汽车，行驶在车辆行人川流不息的街上。凯瑟琳看着他。他那样儿，天不怕地不怕似的。他所以具有那种讨厌的诱惑力的部分原因也正就在这里。 她对自己说，她完全可以拒绝他，完全可以走开。她怎么能在爱着威廉·弗雷泽的同时，对拉里产生这种感情？ “如果这样说会使你好过一点的话，”拉里平静地说，“我想说我和你一样紧张。” 凯瑟琳看了他一眼。 "Thank you," she said. 他在撒谎，毫无疑问。当他把他的牺牲品抱上床去诱奸时，他大概都是这样说的。但是，现在他至少没有幸灾乐祸，没有因此而显得得意洋洋。最使她不安的是，她现在正在背叛比尔·弗雷泽。他这个人那么可爱，她实在不愿伤他的心，但这件事一定会使他非常难过。凯瑟琳知道这一点，明白她这样做完全错了，而且毫无意义，但是她仿佛已经丧失了自己的意志。 他们来到了一个舒适的居住区，街道两旁树木高大，浓荫蔽日。拉里把车停在一幢公寓大楼的前面。“到家了。”他轻声地说。 凯瑟琳知道这是最后一次拒绝他的机会，最后一次叫他别来纠缠她的机会。当拉里走过来开门时，她默默地注视着他。她下了车，不由自主地走进了那幢公寓大楼。 拉里的房间是按照男人的趣味来装饰的，色彩强烈而又稳重；家具看上去也很有气派。 他们走进屋里后，拉里替凯瑟琳把外衣脱去，她不禁颤抖了起来。 "Are you cold?" "No." “想喝酒吗？” "No." 他温柔地把她抱在怀里，他们接吻了。她感到好像全身都在发烧。拉里一声不响地把她领进了卧室。 后来，他们乘上他的小汽车，向马里兰州驶去，在那儿找到了一家还未关门的小餐馆。他们品尝了龙虾和香槟酒。 ※※※ 早上五点钟，凯瑟琳拨了威廉·弗雷泽家的电话号码，她站在那儿听着八十英里之外的电话铃声，等了很久，最后话筒里传来了弗雷泽睡意朦胧的声音，他说：“喂……” “你好，比尔。我是凯瑟琳。” “凯瑟琳！我一晚上都在给你打电话。你在哪儿？你好吗？” “我很好。我在马里兰，和拉里·道格拉斯在一起。我们刚才结了婚。”