Chapter 2 Chapter One

She woke up screaming from the same nightmare every night.During the raging storm, she was in the middle of the lake, and a man and a woman desperately pushed her head into the icy water in an attempt to drown her.Every time she walked out of the nightmare, she was panicked, panting heavily, and soaked in sweat all over her body. She neither knows who she is nor remembers her past.She speaks English - but it's impossible to know what nationality she is from.She still doesn't understand how she came to Greece and was taken in by a Carmelite monastery. As time goes by, fragmentary memories haunt her from time to time, fleeting blurry images come and go in a hurry, making it impossible for her to grasp and screen carefully.These bits and pieces of memory came unexpectedly, and often grabbed her mind when she was slack and unprepared, and disturbed her in a trance.

At first, she kept asking people.Although the Carmelite nuns are kind and understanding, they are always silent.The only person with whom to talk is Mother Teresa, the elderly and frail abbot. "Do you know who I am?" "I don't know, my child," said Sister Teresa. "How did I get here?" "There is a village called Ioannina at the bottom of the mountain. You were in a boat on the lake when a storm came last year. The boat sank, but, by the mercy of the Lord, two of our nuns found and rescued you, and they brought you here." "But... where was I before that?"

"Sorry, kid, I don't know." She is not satisfied with this. "Has no one asked about me? No one has looked for me?" Mother Teresa shook her head and said, "No." She almost cried out in disappointment.She continued: "Then the newspaper... There must be news of my disappearance on it." "What you don't know is that we are not allowed to have any contact with the outside world. Children, we must accept God's will. We should thank God for his kindness. It is God who allows your life to continue." That's all she could learn.At first, she was sick and weak, and had no time to take care of her own life experience.After a few months, her strength gradually returned and her health improved.

When she had the strength to get around, she spent her days tending the monastery's blossoming gardens.Everything here is bathed in the bright sunshine of Greece, and the fragrance of lemons and grapes wafts in the breeze. The environment is peaceful and peaceful, but her heart cannot be peaceful.I've lost myself, she thought, and no one cares about me.Why?Did I do something terrible?who am I?who am I?who am I? The picture is constantly flowing and cannot be controlled.One morning she dreamed that a naked man was undressing her.After waking up, she couldn't help wondering if it was a dream.Maybe, something that happened before?Who is that man?Is it the one who married her?Does she have a husband?She is not wearing a wedding ring.Her fortune is practically zero, save for the black nun's robe that Mother Teresa gave her and a brooch, a golden bird with ruby ​​eyes and wings ready to fly.

She has no name, she is a stranger living among strangers.No one offered her a helping hand, and no psychiatrist could tell her that she was traumatized.Only by closing the windows of her soul to the terrible past can she regain her sanity. The screens continued one after another, faster and faster.Her mind was like a disjointed spelling puzzle, all kinds of weird ideas gradually pieced together, but it didn't make any sense.She dreamed of a huge studio full of men in military uniforms.It's like they're making a movie.Am I an actor?No, she was like the conductor of these people.But what to direct?

A soldier gave her a bouquet of flowers, and he said with a smile, you have to pay for it yourself. Two days later, she dreamed of the man again.When she said goodbye to the man at the airport, she woke up and found herself sobbing because of the loss of him. Since then, she can no longer remain indifferent.These are not ordinary dreams, but part of her lived experience, her past.I want to find the old me, the present me. Surprisingly, in the middle of the night, she did not expect to dig out a name from her subconscious mind.Catherine.My name is Catherine Alexander.