Chapter 6 Chapter Six

Tazaki sent an email to Kimoto Sara to invite her to dinner, five days after the time at the bar in Ebisu.The email was replied from Singapore.I will return to Japan in two days, and the next day after my return is Saturday, so I will have time to meet after that evening.The email said, "Exactly, I also have something to tell you." Have something to say?Of course Tsukuru didn't know what Sara wanted to say to him.But the thought of seeing Sharo again made her feel better, and once again realized that what she longed for was a woman older than herself.After not seeing Sharo for a while, I felt a slight pain in my chest, as if I was about to lose something important.This feeling has been gone for a long time.

But in the next three days, what I didn't expect was that I was entangled in work. Due to the mutual crossing plan of the subway line, safety problems caused by different shapes of vehicles appeared (why didn't I inform you of such important information earlier?), in order to To solve the problem, it is necessary to go to several stations and urgently modify some platforms.A schedule must be drawn up for this.Zuo worked all night until late, but after trying to get the work ready, he set aside Saturday evening to Sunday to rest.He just put on a suit like this, and rushed from the company to the meeting place in Qingshan.I fell asleep on the subway seat and almost missed my transfer at Akasaka Mitsuke Station.

"You look very tired." Sha Luo said as soon as he saw him. Tsukuru explained the reason why he was extremely busy these days, as simple and understandable as possible. "I originally wanted to go home for the next time, take a shower and change into the clothes I didn't wear to work, but I couldn't do it," he said. Sara took out a beautifully packaged box from her shopping bag and gave it to Tsukuru. The box was slender and flat. "My gift to you." I opened the package, and inside was a tie, an elegant blue silk tie without a pattern, and the brand was YSL.

"I saw it in a duty-free shop in Singapore, and I bought it because I thought it would match you." "Thanks, the tie looks nice." "And some men don't like receiving ties." "I'm not like that." Tsukuru said, "Because I wouldn't suddenly think of buying a tie one day. And you have good taste in picking things." "That's all right," Sara said. Tsukuru took off the pinstripe tie he was wearing on the spot, and tied the new tie Sara gave him around his neck.Tsukuru was wearing a dark blue summer suit and a regular white shirt that day, which matched the blue tie perfectly.Sharo stretched his hands across the table and skillfully adjusted the position of the bow tie.There was a faint scent of perfume, which smelled very pleasant.

"It suits you very well," she said, with a small smile. After Tsukuru put the original tie on the table, it looked older than expected.Like a bad habit without realizing it.He realized again that it was time for him to pay a little more attention to his grooming.I do design work in the office of the railway company every day, and there are not many opportunities to pay attention to clothing. The working environment is basically men.As soon as he entered the company, he untied his tie, rolled up his sleeves and started working, and often needed to go to the construction site.People around Zuo didn't pay much attention to what suit and tie to wear.In addition, it has been a long time since I have such a regular date with a woman.

This was the first time Sharo gave him a gift, and Tsukuru was very happy.If you think about it, you should also ask when Shaluo's birthday is, and prepare some gifts for it. This matter must be kept in mind.He thanked him again and folded the old tie in his suit pocket. The two were in a French restaurant located on the ground floor of the building in Nanqingshan.This is also a restaurant Sha Luo is familiar with.It's not a ostentatious store, and the prices of food and wine are relatively not so extravagant.It feels similar to a casual bistro, but the table is more spacious and comfortable than the lower table, so you can calm down and talk.The clerk's service is also very kind.They ordered a bottle of red wine and studied the menu together.

Sharo was wearing a floral dress with a cardigan over it, both of which looked of high quality.Of course Tsukuru doesn't know how much salary Sara gets, but she seems to be used to spending money on clothes. While eating, Shaluo chatted about work in Singapore, negotiating prices with hotels, choosing restaurants, confirming transportation facilities, arranging various activities, checking medical facilities... To develop a new tourism project, there are many things to do can be piled up into mountains.For this reason, a long inspection list was prepared, and they were confirmed and cleared one by one in the local area.You need to go to the location and use your own eyes to clarify the details one by one.This sequence of work is much like building a new station.Hearing what she said, Tsukuru realized more and more that Sara was a thoughtful and talented professional (specialist).

"I should go there again in the near future." Sha Luo said, "Have you ever been to Singapore?" "I haven't done it yet. In fact, I haven't left Japan very often. Because of work, I don't have the opportunity to travel abroad, and it's too troublesome to travel overseas by myself." "Singapore is also very interesting. There are a lot of delicious food, and there are excellent sightseeing spots nearby. It would be great if I could show you around." Tsukuru imagined how great it would be if he could travel abroad with her. Tsukuru only drank a glass of red wine as usual, and Sara drank the rest of the bottle.She seems to be very good at drinking, no matter how much she drinks, it doesn't show on her face.Zuo chose beef stew, and Sharo ordered roast duck.After finishing the main dish, she hesitated and ordered dessert and coffee.

"After I met you last time, I thought a lot." Sha Luo said as he drank the last black tea, "It's about those four friends from your high school days, that intimate community and that chemical reaction." Tsukuru nodded slightly, and waited for her next words. Sharo said, "The story of that five-person group really interests me because it's something I haven't experienced before." "It's better not to experience that kind of thing." Tsukuru said. "Because you were hurt in the end?" He nodded. "I understand how you feel." Sharo narrowed his eyes and said, "But even if you are disappointed by being treated like that in the end, it is still a good thing for you to meet them. I have this feeling. People and people It’s not common for people to be connected together without any gaps. And it’s even more like a miracle that this kind of connection happened between five people.”

"This is indeed a near-miraculous thing. It must be a good thing that happened to me. You are right." Tsukuru said: "But that's all. When you lose, it's better to say that when you are deprived, the blow will be divided." Extraordinarily strong. A sense of loss, a sense of loneliness...these words are far beyond the level." "Sixteen years have passed since that year. You are now an adult in your late thirties. No matter how deeply the original blow hurt you, it is about time to step over and leave it behind. " "Cross the past." Tsukuru repeated Sara's words. "How exactly?"

Sha Luo put both hands on the table, with ten fingers slightly spread out.On the little finger of his left hand he wore a ring with a small almond-shaped gemstone embedded in it.She stared at the ring for a moment, then looked up. "Why you were resolutely rejected by those four friends, and why you have to do this kind of thing to you, you should figure out the reasons for this on your own, this is my opinion." Tsukuru tried to finish the rest of the coffee, but found that the cup was empty, so he put it back on the saucer.When the quilt touched the saucer, there was an unexpected crash.The waiter seemed to have heard the noise, and came to Tsukuru's table, and poured ice water into their glasses. After the waiter walked away, Tsukuru said: "As I said before, from my point of view, I wanted to forget about that incident as much as possible. At that time, the injury was slowly healing, and I worked hard to overcome the pain. I also spent a lot of time on it. It’s been a long time, and I don’t want to reopen the wound now.” "But what's the truth? Maybe it's just a superficial healing." Shaluo looked directly into Tsukuru's eyes, and said in a calm tone, "Blood may still be flowing in the inner layer, haven't you thought about it?" Tsukuru thought silently, unable to answer her. "Hey, can you tell me the full names of those four people? Also the name of the high school you attended, the year you graduated and the year you entered school, and their respective addresses at that time." "You know this, what are you going to do?" "I want to find out as much as possible about where they are and what they're doing." Zuo's breathing suddenly became rapid, and he picked up the water glass and took a sip of water. "for what?" "In order for you to meet and talk with them, to give you the opportunity to know the explanation of what happened sixteen years ago." "But what if I say I don't want to do it?" Shaluo turned his hands on the table behind his back, and put his palms up.But her eyes were still looking directly at Zuo across the table. "Then I just said it directly?" "of course can." "Actually, it's hard for me to say it." "Whatever it is, I want to know what you think." "When we met last time, I said I didn't want to go to your house, remember? Do you understand why?" Tsukuru shook his head. "I think you are a very good person, and I also feel that I like you very much, that is to say, the feeling between men and women." Sha Luo said, and then paused for a while. "But you seem to have a big problem in your heart." Tsukuru looked at Sara's face in silence. "The next part is a bit difficult to speak, it is difficult to express clearly. Once it is said, it will be oversimplified. But because this is a feeling thing after all, there is no way to explain it logically." Shaluo bit her lips lightly, measured the distance with her eyes, and said: "When I was hugged by you, I felt that you were in other places, not far away from us who are embracing each other. Far away. You are very gentle, which is a good thing, but..." Tsukuru picked up the empty coffee cup again and covered the cup with both hands.Then he put it back on the saucer, this time being careful not to make a sound. "I don't understand." Tsukuru said, "I only thought about you at that time, I didn't think about anything else, and I didn't remember where else I was. To be honest, I couldn't think about anything else at that time. thing." "Maybe so, maybe you're only thinking about me. I'll believe you when you say that. But even then, something else is creeping into your head. At least I feel something like distance , this may only be understood by women. Anyway, what I want you to know is that I can't go on with this kind of relationship for long, even if I like you. My character is more direct and greedy than it seems. If you If you want to have a serious relationship with me, I don't want something from an unknown entity to come between us. Do you understand what I mean?" "You mean you don't want to see me anymore?" "It's not like that." She said: "It's okay to meet and talk with you like this. I'm very happy. But I don't want to go to your room again." "Does that mean you can no longer get close to me?" "There should be no other way." Sha Luo said bluntly. "Is it because I have a problem in my heart?" "Yes, there are still some problems in your heart. Perhaps deeper than you think. But if you will, the problems can be solved, just like repairing a broken station. But For this, you need the necessary information, draw the correct design drawings, and make a detailed schedule. The priority of things must be clarified first.” "What you want to say is that in order to solve the problem, I need to meet with the four of them again to make it clear?" She nodded. "You shouldn't be that innocent and vulnerable teenager anymore, you have to face the past as a professional with one side. Not just seeing what you want to see, but facing what you have to see clearly Ah. If you don’t do this, you will still carry this burden in your future life. So, tell me the names of those four people. I will first go and check roughly where they are and what they are doing now.” "How to check?" Sharo shook his head in surprise. "You are from an engineering university, don't you use the Internet? Have you never heard of Google, Facebook or something?" "Of course I use the Internet in my work. Of course I know about Google and Facebook, but I don't use it very much, and I have no interest in that kind of Internet tools." "Hey, just leave it to me, I'm pretty good at these things." Sha Luo said. After eating, the two walked to Shibuya together.On this pleasant night when spring is approaching, the big yellow moon is shrouded in a thin layer of mist, and there is a hazy layer of moisture in the air.The skirt of the Sharo dress was blown by the wind, and it fluttered gracefully beside Tsukuru.As Tsukuru walked, he thought about the flesh inside that layer of clothing.Want to hug it again.Thinking about it like this made my penis feel hard.I don't think this desire is abnormal. As a healthy adult male, this is a natural emotion and need.But perhaps at the root, as Sharo pointed out, there are some unreasonable and twisted parts.But this cannot be judged.The more you think on the boundary line between consciousness and unconsciousness, the more confused you will be. Tsukuru was at a loss for a while, and finally made up his mind and said, "I want to correct something in what I said before." Sara looked at Tsukuru with interest as he walked. "what is it then?" "I once said that I had relationships with several women before this. Although the results all ended without a problem, there were many reasons in the middle, not all of which were mine." "I remember." "Over the course of ten years or so, I've been in relationships with three or four women. Each one was serious and lasted a long time, and it wasn't meant to be fun. But the reason for the end, each one was my fault. , it's not their problem." "What's wrong with you?" "Of course, the tendency of each question is different." Tsukuru said: "But there is one thing that can be called in common, that is, I have never been really attracted to any of them. Of course I still like them. The time spent together is also very happy, and there are many good memories. But there is no strong longing for each other to the point where I lose myself." Sha Luo was silent for a while, and then said: "It means that in the past ten years, you have had serious and long-term relationships with those women who do not attract you?" "It can be said that it is so." "It doesn't make sense to me." "exactly." "Is it because you unilaterally don't want to get married, or don't want your freedom to be restrained?" Tsukuru shook his head. "No, I don't have a particular fear of marriage or bondage, because I'm kind of looking for a stable personality." "Even so, have you been suppressing your heart?" "Maybe it's depression." "So you only hang out with people who don't open up." Tsukuru said: "If I really fell in love with someone, I couldn't do without her, and one day, that person disappeared without warning, and I was left alone. Maybe I was afraid of this. kind of thing happens.” "So in order not to be hurt, you have to consciously or unconsciously keep an appropriate distance between you and the other party. Or choose some women who can accept this distance. Is that so?" Tsukuru fell silent.This silence means acquiescence.But at the same time, he knows that the essence of the problem is not only these. "The same thing will happen to me." "No, I don't think so. You are different from what you were before. It's true. I want to open up to you, I think so from the bottom of my heart. That's why I confess to you like this." Sha Luo said, "Hey, do you still want to see me again?" "Of course. I want to see you again." "If possible, I would like to see you again in the future." Sha Luo said, "Because I think you are a person who does not put on any pretense, and I think you are a very nice person." "Thank you." Tsukuru said. "So tell me the names of those four people. You can decide for yourself later. If you still don't want to see them after you know their current situation, it's okay if you don't, because it's your own problem after all. But other than that In addition, I am also interested in them personally, and want to know more about the four of them, and the four people who are still attached to your back." After returning home, Tsukuru Tazaki took out an old notepad from the desk drawer, opened the address page, and entered the names, addresses and telephone numbers of the four of them into the notebook accurately. Tsukuru looked at the names of the four of them on the computer screen with mixed emotions, feeling that the time that had passed seemed to envelope him again.The past time blended silently into the real time, like smoke sneaking into the room through the tiny gap in the door.It was odorless, colorless smoke.But at a certain point in time, he suddenly returned to reality, typing on the keyboard of the notebook, and sending the email to Shaluo.After confirming that the transmission was successful, he turned off the power of the computer.Then wait for time to return to the aspect of reality again. "Personally, I'm also interested in them. I want to know more about the four of them, the four who are still attached to your back." What Sharo said is probably right.Tsukuru lay in bed thinking about it.Those four people are still glued to his back, probably closer than Sha Luo thought.