Chapter 32 Chapter Thirty-One

Mina was in a trance as if in a dream. The two horizontal and three vertical scars on her face made her face tense, as if sticking plaster had been applied, tightening her skin.The yin and yang heads are under the sun, the left side is warm and the right side is hot.Sweating, the left side is warm and the right side is cool.If you touch it with your hands, the left side is like fluffy feathers, while the right side is smooth and astringent. The roots of the shaved hair are like stubble cut off by the roots.When she slid across the campus like a faded mouse with a yin and yang head, she knew what other people's eyes were like without raising her eyes.Just as she can feel the distinct difference between left and right on the top of her head when she touches it with her hands, other people's touch can make her feel the division of Yin and Yang on her head more clearly.

The bald head on the right can feel the hot and cold eyes of others, and the hair on the left is as impenetrable as a dense bamboo forest.I remember once I went to the countryside to support farmers to harvest rice. Half of the large rice fields were cut, and half were still there.Standing at the head of the field and looking at it, there is a thick sea of ​​rice on one side, and black soil with only rice stubble on the other. The rice is like a golden wall at the boundary.Maybe the top of my head looks like this. She also tried to spread the long hair on the left side to cover the right side, so that at least there was a sense of confusion.

However, she quickly put her hair back to the left side, fearing that the confusion would remind the Red Guards to cut the hair on the left side into a crew cut, so that her yin and yang could not be covered at any time.When walking with her yin and yang head on her head, she found that she was out of balance.With hair on the left, the footsteps appear heavy; on the right without hair, the footsteps appear light.Walking lightly and heavily like this, it is like wearing a heavy thing on the left shoulder, or wearing a pair of shoes with low heels on the left and high on the right, stepping on the ground with one foot high and the other foot low.The brick roads of the campus were originally incomplete and uneven. When she walked with one foot high and the other low, she couldn't adapt to the road surface, and she even felt like a disabled person.

She shut herself in the room, closed the door, and stood in front of the mirror. The two horizontal and three vertical scars on Duck's face were still painted quietly like a fence, and her yin and yang head made her judge herself uncertain.In her imagination, black hair covered her whole head, and she saw her usual self.In her imagination, the bald head extended to the entire top of her head, and she found an image of a nun who became a monk.There are no more nuns in the new society, so she stands between yin and yang like a monk.Just now, kneeling down and begging for mercy in order to keep his hair seemed painful, but now it seems very numb.If you want to wear it, your hair will grow back sooner or later, just bear it and it will pass.

What really matters is that the scars on the face must be healed, and scars must not be left.She felt her calmness and reality, and even more her tenacious desire to survive.Like a beaten dog, she crawled through hot slag and thorny brambles, limping forward despite the scarred fur and hair hanging all over her back . She has seen dogs beating in the countryside.The dog's leg was broken first, barking and struggling.Head again, still undead, twisting.The back was hit again, the backbone was broken, and the sound of bones breaking under the wooden stick was heard. The dog raised its neck in pain, and the broken back became a right angle. shoot into the sky.At this time, the thick wooden stick swept across again, hitting the waist, and it fell back on the ground, its white belly facing the sky, it convulsed and rolled, and sticky blood flowed from the corners of its mouth.See its chest and belly panting and see its genitals throbbing between its legs.Then, the thick wooden stick was thrown vertically towards the belly, and the dog twisted again. Several burly men hugged the thick wooden stick and pressed down hard, and the dog struggled painfully.The spine has long been broken, the legs have been broken, the head has been cracked, and the mouth has been beaten tightly, but he is still struggling, trying to use his four claws and teeth to scratch this thick wooden club that is about to kill him.

After a while, it struggled and collapsed on its back.A few burly men withdrew their hands, wiped their sweat, and said with flushed faces: "This dog is quite resistant to beating." They sat aside and rested.Before he could smoke a cigarette, the dog started to twitch on the ground again, and someone said, "I can't move much." Someone said, "See if it can get up." The dog was lying on its back. , twisting slightly, trying to turn over.After making the first effort, it returned to its original state.Like a person lying on his back, the four paws are completely spread out, and they are spread flat like a kite flying in the air.Someone said: "I'm completely out of breath now." However, it twitched again, bent at 90 degrees at the elbow, and twitched for a long time, and then tried to turn over again.This time, the dog beater stopped talking and looked at it while smoking a cigarette.The people watching the bustle around are all in high spirits.The dog closed its eyes, unaware that the world was watching its performance, and just walked through the last journey of life ignorantly.It struggles like a baby that hasn't rolled over yet.This time, it found an angle, its shoulders and head nearly turned over, and one hind leg was flailing limply in the air, seemingly looking for a point of gravity in the air, and failing again.White Belly gasped.After a while, it turned to the right again, the left front leg and left rear leg were planing in the air, and the head was bent hard.

Finally, it roughly turned over, only the right front leg and right rear leg were still pressed under the body, but the left two legs had landed.It just lay there, panting.It was in the process of struggling to breathe that it was seen that its spine had been broken, and there was a stiff corner there.More blood flowed out from the corners of the mouth and nose. Its neck was flat on the ground, with its mouth open, and more and more blood flowed.It struggled and turned over again, and the right leg came out from under the body.Despite dying, it regained its dog's dignity.Saw it struggling to get up.At first, the two front legs worked hard, but the legs were broken, so I had to lie there again, and I lost the straightness of lying on my stomach, and lay on my side.It panted, struggled, and moved as if crawling forward. It actually moved a long distance, and the blood trail behind it was horrible.It finally lay there motionless.As if asleep on side with head resting in front legs.

This is an unforgettable scene that Mina saw beside the rice fields. She wants to learn the spirit of a dog and survive even if she is crawling. Teacher Feng of the Chinese teaching and research group committed suicide.On that day, these counter-revolutionaries cleared a sewage ditch through labor reform with their yin and yang head in black and white.Teacher Feng's body was pulled over by a three-wheeled flatbed truck, and his straight body swayed stiffly with the jolt of the flatbed truck, like a piece of wood.The eyes are half-closed and protruding, the mouth cannot be closed, and the expression towards the sky is very scary.Passing by a small pothole, the flatbed cart jolted suddenly, the stiff body almost rolled down, and fell back on the flatbed cart hard.The two workers who pulled her were the school workers, and the destination was naturally the crematorium.

Watching the corpse being taken away, the yin and yang heads of the labor reform team withdrew their frightened gazes and continued to dig the mud in the ditch with their shovels in silence.The old principal in his seventies fell down at the shaving site yesterday and became unconscious. Today, he bent over and struggled to work in the ditch.The short body bent down, holding the front half of the spade handle with both hands, and the second half was raised high behind, looking very small.Mina knew that the counter-revolutionaries were not afraid of reform through labor. They dug ditches every day and provided food every day.If you want to survive, you must first avoid criticism.

She recalled the idea of ​​pretending to be crazy after being severely beaten in Riyuetan Park on the first day.She tried to carry out her plan of feigning madness. Gradually, her eyes became straightened, and she became unable to understand human words.When the Red Guards ordered them to confess their crimes one by one, she looked at them dumbfounded.Others said that she was pretending to be stupid, and that she didn't understand that the Red Guards ordered her to write a review. She took the manuscript paper in a daze, tore it, rubbed it, and put it in her mouth to swallow.Seeing the inexplicably astonished eyes around her, she began to vomit with a "wow".She found that as long as she recalled the experience of swallowing the note that day, she would feel vomiting.Just chew some more paper and swallow, and the feeling of vomiting will be stimulated at once.When the digestive products in her stomach gushed out like a waterfall with stomach acid, the Red Guards who interrogated her feared that they would not be able to dodge in time.She then crumpled the second page and stuffed it into her mouth.A short girl looked back at her with a look of disgust, and a boy took away the remaining few pages and said, "Forget it, let's go to work." She still stood dumbfounded, Don't know anything.The Red Guards put the shovel into her hand, and she seemed to suddenly understand, and went to dig the mud, and sang a song as she walked: "The sea depends on the helmsman, the growth of all things depends on the sun, the rain and dew nourish the seedlings, and the revolution depends on Mao Zedong Thought. Fish cannot be separated from water, melons cannot be separated from seedlings, revolutionary masses cannot be separated from the Communist Party, and Mao Zedong Thought is the sun that never sets.” Then he sang “The Red Army is not afraid of expeditions, thousands of rivers and mountains are just waiting for nothing. , Wumeng is majestic and walks with mud balls. The golden sand water beats the clouds and cliffs to warm, and the Dadu Bridge crosses the iron locks to be cold. I also like the thousand miles of snow in the Minshan Mountains, and I will be happy after the three armies." Singing and twisting Yangko.

She knew that if she pretended to be crazy, she could only sing revolutionary songs, and if she sang reactionary songs, she would be beaten.Pretending to be crazy can’t be too much. If you go too far, you will be locked up, and it will be difficult to live.Anyway, she can vomit at any time; anyway, she has shaved her head with two horizontal lines and three vertical lines on her face; anyway, she is not a person in power taking the capitalist road, and she is not the focus of the struggle.Just enough to pretend to be crazy, and slowly "liberate" myself from the criticism.She vomited as soon as she attended the criticism meeting.No scene of criticism was willing to destroy her serious scene, so she became a reform-through-labourer singing and digging mud ditches. While singing, she realized that pretending to be crazy is actually a very comfortable thing.She doesn't need to look at people's faces, she doesn't need to pay attention to the surrounding environment, she is just a heartless fool.She twisted around the campus with a shovel on her shoulders, she said "navigating the sea depends on the helmsman", she said "all things grow depends on the sun", she said "fish cannot be separated from water, melons cannot be separated from seedlings", she is in the "The revolution relies on Mao Zedong Thought", she is in "The Red Army is not afraid of the difficulty of expedition", she is in "Thousands of rivers and mountains are just waiting for leisure"... singing and twisting like this, she is like a Yiyi, stumbling, walking, crawling, chaotic The big doll that screams.My muscles and bones have never been so comfortable.When she went to the washroom to wash her face with the washbasin in her arms, she sang and twisted in the same way and passed.When people see her like this for the first time, they will be dumbfounded, but after seeing her more often, they will get used to it.You walk through the crowd like this, and almost no one pays attention to you anymore. This feeling of being free and forgotten at the same time is so comfortable. She sings wherever she goes, and twists and turns when she is happy. This kind of singing and twisting is exercise, so why not do it? When I think about it this way, I twist more and more, and it doesn't stop all day long.Walking, washing face, washing clothes, labor reform, digging ditch, carrying excrement, cleaning toilets, singing while singing, turning a blind eye to everything around.This is the greatest freedom, the privilege of a madman.After realizing this benefit, she even thought, why didn't people think of pretending to be crazy?How come people don't know how much freedom a madman has? Her space is getting bigger and bigger.After washing the clothes and hanging them on the wire outside the dormitory, she sang and twisted, twisting and drying, as if she was performing on a stage.She picked up an undershirt, wrung it dry, then grabbed the two ends with both hands, twirled it in her hands and jumped up, jumping and dancing, and hung the undershirt on the wire in a dancing posture.Pick up another pair of shorts, wring them dry, hold the ends with both hands, then turn left and right, dance ballet on tiptoe, rotate 720 degrees on the spot, make all kinds of absurd dance poses, and finally A lyrical movement hangs the clothes to dry on the wire.The teachers and students who hang clothes are far away from her, and she always has enough places to hang clothes.Of course, she also has a principle, that is, after returning to the dormitory building, the voice of singing will be lower when she enters the corridor, and the voice will be lower when she returns to her room.She will never disturb the sleep of the students in the dormitory building, and she does not want to be kicked out. In the evening, she wanted to breathe fresh air and exercise, so she twisted and sang in the big playground at ten, eleven, and twelve o'clock.With moonlight or without moonlight, she is allowed to fly freely.Sometimes, she even danced the waltz by herself and twirled the ballet. When she was happy, she could do floor exercises, singing while doing them, mixing Yangko, waltz, floor exercises and radio exercises together.She danced wildly on the big playground.The mesmerizing performances lend "Mad Men" an increasingly solid believability.During the free singing and dancing, she felt her body was getting better and better: her waist was getting softer, the muscles in her legs were getting tighter, her chest was getting more elastic, and her arms were getting more stretched.I am also more and more able to eat. With pickles, I can eat two wotou for a meal.This kind of voracious appetite and "crazy" are very compatible.She felt this swaying happiness.When the moon shone down from the late-night sky, the revolutionary campus was already silent, and most of the windows were turned off. She walked alone to the grass-strewn campus, doing ballet spinning on the spot, holding her chest up and stretching out her hands. The lyrical movement towards the front, and the twisting Yangko celebrating victory.She thinks she is the smartest person.She's a brainy little bitch.She often sings and twists and thinks, what if she is not allowed to sing and twist like this one day? Sweating all over, she walked slowly around the playground.Regardless of whether there is someone or no one, she can't walk like a normal person, she has to walk on Yangko steps.Slowly walking under the shade of the trees beside the playground, she came out of the role of a lunatic, slowed down, clasped her hands in front of her, and thought as she walked, how could she talk to Lu Tiehan on the phone?The phone is only available in the office, and I cannot use it during the day or at night.She has no right to leave school, with such a yin and yang head and a scar on the fence, even if she fled to the street, she couldn't make a phone call.Only in school was she safe, and only here was her play of madness meaningful.However, she needs to contact Lu Tiehan, and she also hopes that Lu Tiehan can talk to Lu Xiaolong to improve her situation: she is willing to continue to pretend to be crazy, but she is not willing to continue to be a counter-revolutionary. Suddenly, she felt that someone was staring at her in the dark, as if she had encountered a ghost or a wolf, and she felt terrified.Turning around, I realized that there were two people squatting under a nearby tree, their eyes glowing green like the eyes of a leopard in the dark.She was frightened because of her distraction just now, and it was difficult to enter a crazy state all at once, so she froze there.The two stood up and stepped out of the shadow of the trees into the moonlight.It was two boys, one named Song Fa and the other Wang Xiaowu, both of whom were poor and lower-middle peasants, and she taught them lessons.Song Fa was also one of the initiators of the Red Guards at Beiqing University.It seemed that they had observed her for a long time, and she sensed danger.Song Fa stared at her with dark eyes and said, "Why aren't you asleep yet?" Wang Xiaowu stood next to Song Fa with a long black face, not daring to look at Mina.In a panic, Mina twisted her yangko steps embarrassingly, and sang "Sailing the sea depends on the helmsman", stepped out of the shadow of the tree, and stood under the moonlight.Song Fa stretched out his hand to stop her seriously, and said, "Stop singing, we've seen it clearly." Mina froze there, her hands still in the shape of twisting Yangko.Song Fa looked at Wang Xiaowu, and said: "We both saw it today, and we forgot it after sleeping all night." Wang Xiaowu nodded slightly, and Song Fa said to Mina: "I have observed you a long time ago, and I understand you the meaning of." Mina felt cold all over, and was clearly illuminated by the moonlight like a glass man.She began to tremble slightly.Song Fa said: "We know that you have no major problems, and we also know that you did not discriminate against the children of poor and lower-middle peasants in the past." They were admitted to Beiqing Middle School in the suburbs. At the school gate that day, their luggage rolls were scattered, and they forgot whether it belonged to Song Fa or Wang Xiaowu. Cloth shoes, clothes, old boiled corn cobs, and other messes rolled out of the bedding of the farmhouse. s things.Mina was riding by at that time, so she stopped the car immediately, knelt down to help them pack up their things, and rolled up their luggage horizontally. The luggage smelled of the ash and damp smell from the rural kang.She then put the roll of luggage on the back of the bike and wheeled with them into the school.After that, every time they met, they respectfully called "Teacher Mi".It's been two years, and there are many university students, so I saw less, and I forgot about it. Mina swallowed in the moonlight, she couldn't explain anything.Song Fa looked at her again, "Keep dancing, let's go, we were talking here just now." Saying that, Song Fa grabbed Wang Xiaowu's shoulders, and the two turned around and walked away slowly.Looking at their backs, Mina shouted: "Then..." Song Fa turned his head and looked at her suspiciously.Mina murmured, "Didn't you just say that my problem is not serious?" Song Fa frowned and said, "We all know that your problem is not serious, but you like to dress up, and it didn't reveal any other problems with you. But No one can help you now." Mina looked at them pitifully, Song Fa pouted and thought for a moment, then squinted at her and said, "I really can't help you. Now the school is holding the Cultural Revolution The congress, the election of the school’s Cultural Revolution, we’ll see the situation later, it’s hard to tell who’s in power for the School’s Cultural Revolution.” Song Fa turned his head to leave, and saw Mina with half of her hair covered under the moonlight, like an unattended wolf cub, and said, "On June 2, Lu Xiaolong dragged you and Jia Kun from the Sun Moon Temple Park. After returning home, there are still people holding on to it and attacking our Beiqing Middle School Red Guards with this matter!" He paused, and then said: "You should dance first, the Cultural Revolution is still early." Seeing the two walking across the wide playground under the moonlight and gradually disappearing into the shadow of the buildings, Mina couldn't find the feeling of twisting and singing again for a long time.