Chapter 6 Raise an imp

Those days were originally hot and sunny. I mean, originally. Ever since the fat woman raised the imp in the drawer in a low-key way, there was often a gust of wind blowing under everyone's feet, like an electric fan, which was very fun, so we all ran to ask the fat woman how to raise the imp. "The first step in raising a kid is, of course, to find a kid first." Surrounded by everyone, the fat woman was triumphant. "That's right, so how do you find the kid?" Wang Guo asked innocently. "Ask your mother!" Yang Dingfeng patted Wang Guo on the back of the head.

"Actually, ghosts are everywhere, and most of them are running around, and no one raises them, so if you want to raise little ghosts, of course it's super easy!" Fat Granny's explanation is tantamount to no explanation. At this time, the good student Lin Junhong pushed his glasses again, and entered in a polite manner. "That's right, it's like there are six billion people on the earth, and one day they will all die. If the theory of immortality of the soul is true, there will be at least six billion ghosts by that day, even if half of the ghosts are dead. Going to reincarnate, there are still three billion ghosts that need to be cared for, and this number will continue to increase, so the probability of raising little ghosts is actually very reasonable." Lin Junhong talked nonsense that no one was interested in.

"Anyway, it's the one you're raising, how did you catch it?" I asked directly. The fat woman said that the little ghost in her drawer was actually her neighbor, a ninety-five-year-old grandmother who passed away because she forgot to breathe.On the night of the old grandma's head seven, the fat woman with yin and yang eyes ran to the mourning hall and opened the urn excitedly. When she saw the soul of the old grandma returning home to visit her descendants, she took the opportunity to trick the old grandma into the urn with her own blood. From that night onwards The old grandma eats the blood of the fat woman every day.

"So the so-called kid is not a real kid, you raised an old ghost? Tsk tsk." Yang Dingfeng nodded. "Yeah, anyway, let's raise one first." The fat woman scratched the urn with her fingernails. "But what are you going to do with your grandma's ghost?" I was curious. "Will she help you with your homework?" Wang Guo rushed to ask. "Let me answer this question for you." Yang Dingfeng rolled his eyes: "Wang Guo, you have such a low IQ, and you will be a ghost with a low IQ even if you die, so the old lady can't help the fat woman with her homework, okay?"

"What will the old granny's ghost do for you?" Wang Guo scratched his head. "At least you can peek at the answers next door for you during the exam, right?" I scratched my head too. "Grandma has presbyopia." The fat woman frowned, so ugly. "Can the grandmother run behind your back for the physical education class test?" Wang Guo did not give up. "Grandma can't even walk very slowly." The fat woman frowned again, super ugly. "Grandma is so poor." I concluded. "If you raise fish, what can the fish do for you? If you raise hermit crabs, what can the hermit crabs do for you? If you raise pinworms, what can the pinworms do for you? Do you sharpen your pencils for you? Do you go to the toilet for you? Everyone keeps it to pass the time." The fat woman is aggressive, with a look of shame: "If you go to Africa, Boss Ha Bang really beats back a lion, what can the lion do for Boss Ha Bang?"

"Hmm..." We were lost in thought. What the lion can do, the boss can do it. But what the boss can do, the lion may not be able to do. The lion can't help the boss with his homework, and he can't help the boss take a bath. Although the lion can eat the children of the lower grades, but the children of the lower grades will die if they provoke the boss. In this regard, the lion is nothing special.Besides, although the lion can eat the teacher, but the teacher wants to bow and say hello to the boss when he sees Ha Bang, this part of the lion is not inferior at all. At most, the boss of Doha Bang rides a lion to and from school, but since he wants to ride something, he might as well ride the principal.

"Even if it's a lion, it's just for fun!" The fat woman concluded in an arrogant tone: "It's just that the boss proves that he is a super elementary school student who can raise a lion. Anyway, the boss is surrounded by you lowly minions and servants." , Running dogs are enough, what do you want a lion to do!" The fat woman is right, although we are indeed the boss's slaves, servants and lackeys, and indeed very lowly, but we still beat the fat woman to vent our anger, anyway, the rotten ghost of the old woman can't stop us. . The weather is getting hotter and hotter, so hot that even the electric fans hanging from the ceiling are blowing hot air, which makes people want to die.

At that time, where did elementary schools get the funds to install air conditioners, so we had to move the refrigerator in the principal's office to the back of the classroom for use.Every get out of class time, everyone takes turns to open the door of the refrigerator to enjoy the short air-conditioning that blows out from the refrigerator, you blow it, I blow it, the cool breeze is really pleasant. Of course, the refrigerator was spoofed by us, and it broke down soon, so Boss Habang asked the principal to carry it back, repair it and notify us to move it. Lin Junhong, who was covered in sweat, raised his hand during the impromptu motion of the Friday class meeting.

"Students, in order to save energy and electricity, why don't we raise little ghosts together with the whole class." The whole class applauded. So everyone took all kinds of bottles and cans from home, ready to raise ghosts together. Basically everyone agrees that the cemetery is the place with the most ghosts, but none of us want to go to the cemetery, and the second place with the most ghosts is probably the hospital, but the hospital is also full of horror, only fat women dare to go, so everyone Everyone pays one hundred yuan as a special class fee, and the fat woman is invited to the hospital to help everyone collect ghosts who are willing to be adopted.

After taking the special fee, the fat woman went to various hospitals in Changhua, and it only took three days to fill everyone's bottles and cans.Although the fat woman has yin and yang eyes, she did not write down the basic information of this ghost on the bottle, such as whether it is male or female, fat or thin, tall or short, at what age it died, etc. For things like that, the fat woman said that raising ghosts is inherently mysterious, and she wants everyone to keep a little fear of the unknown, so raising them will be very special. Where did the children get their fear of the unknown, and took back their own bottles and jars from the fat woman, but everyone seemed to have got Kinder Surprise Eggs. They didn't know the origin of the ghost they raised, and everyone felt very excited.

"Fat woman, how did you catch so many ghosts in one go?" I was curious. "Hehehe..." The fat woman smiled strangely, "It's all because of..." Her smile is scarier than a ghost, so we disband immediately and no one wants to hear it. There are fifty people in our class, and forty-nine ghosts were raised at one go. The temperature in the classroom immediately dropped from a deadly thirty-one degrees to twenty-two degrees. As for sneezing, Xie Jiayun, who is relatively delicate, even came to school wearing a scarf, which is really exaggerated. Not only is the air conditioner super strong, but the light tubes often emit special effects of flickering. Sometimes the table will move by itself, the trash can will fall down by itself, and occasionally the glass of the window will suddenly shatter. Raising ghosts is really colorful. Of course, raising ghosts requires feeding blood, but seriously, who in this day and age would bite their own fingers to bleed?Of course, you need to use a utility knife. Every time after class, you can see everyone cutting your fingers with a utility knife. Some people think that the cuts made by the utility knife are too long, so they use a compass to pierce their hands. The wound is small but deep, and can be squeezed out. There is also a lot of blood. Lin Junhong, a student with a good class meeting time, raised his hand again: "Although feeding blood is a basic obligation to raise ghosts, cutting your fingers every day will make it inconvenient to do homework and test papers. I suggest that from now on, the students on duty will be responsible for cutting your fingers every day." Finger, how about having the students on duty uniformly feed the blood?" Everyone applauded, and then the glass in the classroom shattered together, and the whole class couldn't help laughing. From then on, the students on duty were responsible for cutting their own fingers. At the end of every get out of class, everyone put bottles and jars on the table, and asked the students on duty to drip blood on their fingers as they walked. To be honest, I thought this system was great when I wasn’t a student on duty, but I didn’t feel that it was very dry until the day I became a student on duty, because after every get out of class, I had to go all out to feed forty-nine ghosts, and my fingers were so painful that I squeezed them. To make up temporarily. I have calculated that on average, one finger will be used in each class. After a whole day, all ten fingers are squeezed until they turn purple and are still dry. When I go to the toilet, I will tremble even when I hold my dick. If things go on like this, I really should consider asking for sick leave on the day of my birthday... On the day when it was Yang Dingfeng's turn to be a daily student, Yang Dingfeng called for an emergency class meeting while he was in early self-study. "Emergency class meeting? There has never been such a thing as an emergency class meeting before?" Everyone talked a lot. "Because there have been no emergencies before, of course there will be no such thing as an emergency shift meeting." Yang Dingfeng explained. "Yes!" Everyone agreed unanimously. "First of all, I would like to thank everyone. In order to maintain the quality of learning in the hot weather, we all worked together to raise a lot of little ghosts a few days ago, filling the classroom with a pleasant breeze. Thank you, thank you everyone." The whole class applauded, and the wind was blowing. "However, I have observed that the students who are on duty these days, when school is over, their ten fingers are squeezed dry and shriveled all day, which makes me feel very sad. I believe that every student who has been on duty can understand this. Empathy, hard work, hard work for every student who has been a student on duty." The whole class applauded, and the air was overwhelming. "Under the leadership of our ever-respected class monitor, Boss Habang, we have elected the Chiefs of the Academic Section, the Chief of the Discipline, the Chief of the Health Section, the Chief of the Physical Education Section, and the Chief of the General Affairs Section. Classmates, you have solved a lot of problems for everyone. Let us applaud Boss Ha Bang and these cadres and classmates together!" The whole class applauded, and the temperature suddenly dropped by three degrees. "And now, in order to deal with the brand-new blood-feeding problem caused by raising little ghosts, I propose that everyone elect a new cadre together, that is, the ten thousand year duty student. The ten thousand year duty student, as the name suggests... is the ten thousand year duty student, who will Responsible for feeding blood to all ghosts every day until graduation, so that other students can concentrate on class, study hard, and become the mainstay of the country and society in the future, I wonder what you think of this proposal?" At this time, the whole class looked at each other in blank dismay, not knowing how to respond to Yang Dingfeng's impromptu proposal, no, they simply didn't know what tricks the treacherous Yang Dingfeng had in his head, and it took so much trouble to lay out so much nonsense. "Anyway, you're a student on duty today! Let's talk about it after you finish your job!" Xiao Dian choked from below. "No hurry! No hurry! Of course I am willing to do such things as serving classmates, but I have two suggestions for the ten thousand year duty students, everyone may wish to listen to my proposal first!" Yang Dingfeng said calmly : "First of all, everyone might as well recall that everyone was cutting off their fingers after class to feed their little ghosts. They were well fed. Who proposed that the students on duty should feed their blood uniformly, so that every classmate who was on duty What about problems such as finger pain, dizziness and anemia, and being unable to help the second child when going to the toilet?" Everyone looked at Lin Junhong, who gritted his teeth and looked at Yang Dingfeng. "Yes, it's classmate Lin Junhong." Yang Dingfeng held both ends of the podium slightly and smiled: "The first person I want to nominate for the post of ten thousand year duty student is the initiator of this system, classmate Lin Junhong." "What are you talking about! You are coming after me!" Lin Junhong stood up, pointed at Yang Dingfeng and cursed. "Student Lin Junhong, please don't misunderstand me. On the surface, the ten thousand year duty student is a shit job, but in fact it is an extremely honorable position. I nominate you because I respect you. Because, I consider that since the future will be unified by one person Feed the blood, that person's blood must be high-quality super good blood, so that ghosts will happily be raised by us as air conditioners. Students should agree?" "Agreed!" Everyone nodded. "Then I would like to ask students, can Wang Guo have this honor?" Yang Dingfeng looked at Wang Guo. Wang Guo was so delighted that he raised his hands and cheered. "How can you feed ghosts with mentally retarded blood! Ghosts will become stupid!" I was the first to object. "Yes! The blood of idiots cannot be used!" Everyone objected in unison. "Again, students, what about Lin Meihua, who kept roundworms in her body?" Yang Dingfeng smiled. "It's too high-profile!" Guo Guo burst out the anger just now. "Hypocrisy!" Even Meihua's friend Xiao Dian was angry. "Negative!" Everyone slapped the table. Meihua burst into tears again: "I really want to raise pinworms!" Cry ass, voices of opposition come and go. "Continue to ask students, is the fat woman's greasy blood suitable for feeding ghosts?" Yang Dingfeng sighed. "nausea!" "Damn it, I'm going to throw up!" "dirty!" "D! I! R! T! Y! DIRTY!" "Ghosts are not pigs!" Everyone opposed wildly, and at the same time, there was a strong gust of wind, which made the fat woman tremble with anger. "So, I believe that there is only one person in the class, and the quality is not much better than that of Lin Junhong, so the second person I want to nominate for the post of daily duty student for ten thousand years is—" Yang Dingfeng is unpredictable With a big smile: "Hello, Boss!" The whole class was frightened crazy. Want... want... want Boss Ha Bang to be the ten thousand year duty student? Several bottles and jars were shaken out of cracks at that moment. I don't know where Yang Dingfeng's crazy idea came from, and he continued to talk as if he thought he had lived too long. "Boss Habang's blood is full of charm, violence, power, and unparalleled arrogance. He and Lin Junhong can be said to be as good as each other, and each has its own merits. If you feed ghosts with their blood, the ghosts must grow very obedient and gentle." Smart. Classmate Lin Junhong, Boss Ha Bang will personally compete with you for the position of ten thousand-year duty student, do you still think this is a shit job?" Lin Junhong's expression was extremely dull, as if the sailor of the Titanic who saw the iceberg in the middle of the night could not react at all. At this time, no one in the class dared to look back at Boss Ha Bang who was sitting on the leather sofa at the end of the classroom. What kind of expression is he now? "Since Lin Junhong doesn't object, let's vote." Yang Dingfeng smiled ferociously: "I agree that Boss Ha Bang will be the daily duty student for ten thousand years. After every get out of class, we will cut our fingers and drip blood to feed the ghosts we raise together." , Cut off ten fingers who can’t even hold a pencil, cut off a classmate who is in a super-hot mood every day, please raise your hand?” Not to mention that no one dared to raise their hands, everyone was so scared that even their assholes began to cramp. "Then, I agree that Lin Junhong will be the Wannian..." Before Yang Dingfeng finished speaking, all the students in the class raised their hands high, and some people stood on the table to raise their hands. Even Lin Junhong, who had dull eyes, raised his hand weakly, staggering as if he would faint at any time past. At this time, the wind was blowing violently, making everyone sneeze wildly. "Then let's applaud together!" Yang Dingfeng clapped his hands vigorously. The whole class applauded like thunder, and they couldn't help admiring Yang Dingfeng's skill in throwing this super shit to Lin Junhong. That's all. From that day on, Lin Junhong lived a bloodless life every day. Lin Junhong cuts his fingers every time after class, he cuts his eyes and drips a drop. When the blood is gone, he goes to the corridor a few times to restore the elasticity of the blood vessels, and then returns to the classroom to continue squeezing, squeezing, squeezing Squeeze, squeeze blood like toothpaste. Occasionally, Lin Junhong was blown down by the wind while running in the corridor, and his nose bleeds. Lin Junhong would rush back to the classroom and feed the kid with his nosebleed constantly, as if he was performing stunts, which was really fun. In order to express our minimum sympathy for Lin Junhong, we agreed to use the class fee to buy a box of Qiqi milk and chocolate and a large box of Prince Noodles, so that Lin Junhong can replenish calories anytime and anywhere to maintain his unfortunate life, otherwise Lin Junhong will bleed Too many died, and we have to elect another classmate to be the ten thousand year duty student. Isn't it bad that everyone is in danger of being elected except Boss Ha Bang. Lin Junhong must not die!