Chapter 17 seventeen

In the early morning of the Dragon Boat Festival, it rained lightly for more than one hour, and then the sky cleared up.The sky after the rain is clearer than usual: the endless blue sky brings a refreshing mood. It was still in the morning.Candles and incense were lit on the altar table in the main room, and the whole family gathered on the left and right sides of men, women and children.As usual, men stood on the left and women stood on the right. Beginning with Mrs. Zhou, everyone went to the worship mat covered with red felt to kowtow one by one in order.After the last person left the worship mat, Keming ordered the servants to remove the worship mat.First, people of the older generation, such as the Zhou family and Keming, prayed to each other.Then Juexin and other members of the younger generation saluted the elders respectively.After a burst of noise, the main room returned to its original tranquility.All the people dispersed, leaving only a pair of red candles weeping lonely on the candlestick, a stick of incense in the incense burner lazily breathing, and calamus and Chen Ai hanging quietly on the doorposts on both sides.

Juexin returned to the room, just sat down in front of the writing desk, suddenly stood up again, walked out of the corridor and entered the main room for no reason.Seeing that deserted look, he felt even more uncomfortable.He walked a few steps in the main room with his hands down, but felt that it was no fun.He saw the gardenias blooming on the flagstone aisle, and the green leaves and white flowers looked more beautiful in the sunshine after the rain, so he strolled down the steps to the front of the flowerpot.He felt a sweet fragrance in his nostrils, and stood there with his head in the sun, and his thoughts buried in the rich fragrance of flowers.

Suddenly, two young women came in from the turning door, wearing new foreign cloth shirts, one dark and one light, holding a bouquet of bright pomegranate flowers with leaves in each hand.This is Cuihuan and Qixia.When they saw Juexin, they walked towards him.They walked up to Juexin and called out at the same time: "Eldest Young Master," and bent down to say goodbye to him. Juexin simply returned the gift.He saw smiles on their faces, each of them had a fiery pomegranate flower on their temples, and a gardenia flower on the first pair of buttons on the right.He thought: Today is a happy holiday for everyone.There was also a smile on his face, and he said casually: "The pomegranate flowers you took are blooming very well."

"Young master, if you like it, I'll give you a few branches, our wife doesn't want so much," Cuihuan said happily, rolling her bright eyes. "No, I'm just saying something casually. Today is the holiday, everyone is happy, you go back and eat rice dumplings," Juexin replied with a tired smile. Cuihuan and Qixia agreed, and left with smiles on their faces.Along the way, they discussed one thing vigorously in low voices. Juexin silently watched the backs of the two girls disappear in the aisle, and then slowly looked away.He thought painfully: Why are others happy today, but I am so bored.

Someone came in through the turning door, and someone went out through the turning door.Jueying ran out jumping and shouting, followed by two cousins, Juequn and Jueshi, and cousin Shufen. "Why did you forget about the beating yesterday?" Juexin said to himself in surprise, referring to Jueying.He then said in despair: "Perhaps the temperament is born and cannot be changed." So he despaired about Sanshu Keming's future again. Juemin came out of the room with a foreign book in his arms, called out on the steps, "Brother," and walked towards Juexin. "Why hasn't my aunt come?" This was Juemin's first sentence.

Juexin looked at Juemin, smiled bitterly, and replied flatly, "Probably coming soon." He knew that what Juemin was looking forward to was not their aunt, but Cousin Qin.But it was his aunt who he was looking forward to. He believed that she would come, and she had promised him with her own mouth yesterday.But just as he said those words, he suddenly became worried again.He said doubtfully, "Maybe my aunt won't change her mind." "I don't think so. I heard her say several times that she would come. Although she can't understand the behavior of the fourth father and the fifth father, she also wants to come back and have a look. Although she likes to be quiet, I think she It's too lonely being locked up in your own home," Juemin said.

"To tell you the truth, the disturbance in our mansion is too unreasonable," Juexin said with a sigh. "The fifth dad begged his concubine to have a son during the mourning period, and even the third dad couldn't control it. I don't know what will happen in the future." What a world!" Juemin sneered, and said angrily, "What better result do you think!" He originally wanted to say: "Only you obey the third father," and he swallowed the words as soon as they reached his mouth .He changed hastily: "I'm going to study in the garden." He wanted to go away.

"Today is the holiday, you still study?" Juemin said casually. "It's the same for me whether it's a holiday or not," Juexin replied.A smile appeared on his face.He thought proudly: I am not like them. "You are good, you are all good," Juexin couldn't help but say such envious words. "What do you mean?" Juemin said in surprise.He caught Juexin's eyes and felt that he understood the elder brother's mood a little bit, so he persuaded in a sympathetic tone: "Brother, you see that everyone is happy today, why do you still torture yourself with those thoughts? You think too much." too much!"

"I'm not unhappy today," Juexin argued. "Then what are you doing standing here alone?" Juemin asked questioningly. "I'm about to go in," Juexin replied as if closing the door. Juemin felt that there was no need to ask any more questions, so he said, "Then let's go all the way, and I will come to your room first." Juexin silently returned to his room with Juemin.When he lifted the curtain, the first thing he saw was a vase of fresh pomegranate flowers on the square table. "Pomegranate flowers! Where did you get them? Did you fold them at the door?" Juemin liked these fiery red flowers and said admiringly.

Juexin was stunned for a moment.He himself clearly saw the empty vase placed in the inner room before, but he didn't expect that now the flowers were inserted and moved to this square table.At first he thought of Mrs. He, but soon another thought corrected his mistake: this must be the pomegranate flower he saw just now. Among the dense green leaves, the fire-like flowers seem to emit intense light and emit a high degree of heat.He felt that the room was brightened suddenly, and a fresh wind was blowing into his heart.He smiled emotionally.He replied mildly: "I don't know either. I'll find out after asking Mrs. He later."

In fact, Juexin knew who came in to place the flowers for him.He didn't want to say it.It was just a small thing, but he saw sympathy and concern in it.He hurried to the front of the square table and moved the vase a little.He stared intently at the vermilion petals. When Juemin heard Juexin's answer, he didn't ask any further questions.What he said before was casual.He doesn't pay much attention to such little things.What he paid attention to was Juexin's actions.He could not say that he fully understood Juexin, he knew that Juexin could not get rid of gloomy thoughts, he knew that Juexin could not erase past memories.He also knew what emotion was tormenting his brother.But he didn't understand that even under heavy oppression and devastation, Juexin still had desires and pursuits.A young man's heart is like a raging fire, which cannot be completely extinguished with a small amount of water, even if it is poured continuously.It's still burning, still struggling.Even the feeblest mind longs for an active life.Juexin also longs for a little care and comfort from time to time, longing for the warmth and sympathy of young women. "Brother, what are you doing looking at the flowers all the time?" Juemin felt that Juexin's behavior was strange, and asked in surprise. "I was thinking that it would be grateful for someone to lay flowers at the tomb of a dead soul," Juexin said to himself.He turned to look at Juemin, his eyes filled with tears. "Brother, you are crying!" Juemin exclaimed, and hurried to Juexin's side, patted Juexin's shoulder lovingly and asked, "What else is on your mind?" "I didn't cry, I should be happy," Juexin argued, shaking his head, but his tears flowed down his cheeks like beads. Juemin really didn't understand his brother.He thought that maybe Xin had just suffered a big blow, and now he was out of his mind.He couldn't argue with Juexin anymore, he just looked at Juexin in pain and advised: "Brother, I think you should take a break." Juexin stretched out his hand to wipe his eyes, smiled at Juemin through tears, and replied quietly: "I'm not sad, don't worry, I know—" He suddenly heard Yuan Cheng speak loudly in a sandy voice. Report: "My aunt is here." Yuan Chengzao pushed open the middle door, and four bearers carried two sedan chairs down the stone aisle. "Auntie is here," Juexin said shortly, forgetting what he hadn't finished.Juemin's heart was also drawn outside by Yuan Cheng's report.The two brothers went out of the room at the same time. They walked out of the aisle and saw that the first sedan chair had just climbed the stone steps, and the second sedan chair was lowered down on the stone aisle.They entered the main room, Zhou Shi and Shuhua also came out from the upper left room.Qin stepped out of the second sedan chair first, and then the curtain of the first sedan chair opened, and Mrs. Zhang, who had a round face and a chunky face, stepped out of the sedan chair. Mrs. Zhang is wearing dark clothes.Jean was wearing a new dress with light piping and a skirt.The mother and daughter walked into the main room, kowtowed to the shrine one after another, and then saluted each other with Mrs. Zhou and others. Everyone was talking in the main room.Mrs. Zhou let Mrs. Zhang sit on the square chair on the right, and the two of them talked across a coffee table.Qixia came out with two cups of Gaiwan tea.Yuan Chengcheng went to the back to report to Keming and others. Both Qin and Juexin brothers and sisters stood at the door of the main room.Seeing Qin's attire, Juemin smiled at her kindly and said, "You look more like a young lady today." "Sister Qin, you look better dressed like this," Shuhua interrupted and praised. "Mom definitely wants me to dress up like this. I think it's good for her once or twice during the Chinese New Year. This dress was made last year, and I only wore it twice," Qin Dai explained with a smile. "You don't put much powder on your face," Juemin said again, holding back a smile. Shuhua smiled.Qin pouted to stop Juemin and said, "You are not allowed to say that!" Juemin smiled. Aunt Chen came out from the upper right room with her unique fragrance.In the past six months, she has gained weight and her face has become plump.His eyebrows were still painted black, his face was whitewashed, and his hair was combed clean.She greeted Mrs. Zhang with a cheerful face, and the two saluted each other.Qin should also go into the main room to pay her respects to Aunt Chen.Then Shen took Shuzhen out from the right wing.Keming and others also came to the main room one after another. The main room, which had been quiet for a while, became lively again.The elders were talking and laughing in the living room.Juexin naturally stayed in the main room to talk with Mrs. Zhang.The Juemin brothers and sisters accompanied Qin to chat on the stone steps at the door, and then walked to the stone aisle to look at the flowers. Shuhua unintentionally reached out to a gardenia that had just bloomed, and said with nostalgia: "We are all here, I don't know how the second sister is doing in Shanghai today?" There was no immediate answer.Later Juemin asked Shuhua, "What do you think she will do today?" Shuhua laughed. She picked the flower and replied, "Second sister will naturally celebrate the festival with third brother." "Third sister, it's not easy for you to pick flowers," Shuzhen persuaded in a low voice, and quickly turned around to glance at the main room. "It doesn't matter if I pick one. I picked it by accident, and I can't put it on now," Shuhua said indifferently. "Third Cousin, you are really good at talking, and you are always right," Qin said with a smile. "Sister Qin, are you here to ridicule me too?" Shuhua smiled and said to Qin, "I'll wear this flower for you." She stretched her hand to Qin's hair, "You are so neatly dressed today." , should wear a flower." Qin moved away and said with a smile: "I don't wear it, I don't wear it. You put it on yourself." Shuhua held the qin and said pleadingly: "Let me put it on for you. If you don't come for a few days, a lot of things happened in our mansion. Let me tell you one by one. The first one is good." The news is that the second sister—" She suddenly closed her mouth. "Tell me, tell me," Qin urged, eager to know the good news about Shuying. Shuhua promised: "I'll tell you right away." But she started to put the flowers on Qin, looked at them proudly, and praised herself: "It looks much better this way." Qin stretched out her hand and knocked on Shuhua's head, and said reproachfully: "Only you, the third girl, make too many cutscenes." She saw beads of sweat slowly dripping from the tip of Shuhua's nose, and she also felt hot on her body. Then he said, "Let's find another place to sit." "Then go to the elder brother's room, you should also make your skirt wider. It's a good thing you've been standing here for so long," Shuhua said affectionately. Juemin couldn't help laughing beside him.He said, "Third Sister, you are the host. If you don't invite her to sit in, you still send her. You are wrong." Shuhua stared at Juemin on purpose, and argued: "Second brother, you are helping sister Qin again. You are always biased. Isn't she the master here? Not now, and will be in the future." Juemin didn't answer her, but picked up Shuhua's braid and tugged lightly, and said with a smile: "You are not allowed to say such things in the future." They walked to the door of Juexin's room, and when Shuhua saw the calamus and Chen Ai hanging in front of the door, she suddenly reached out and tore off a piece of Ai Ye. "What are you doing? Third sister, are your hands itchy?" Juemin asked with a smile. "I can also ward off evil spirits by wearing it on my body," Shuhua replied triumphantly with a strange face, "There are too many monsters in our mansion." "Monster? Third sister, have you ever seen a monster?" Shuzhen believed it was true, immediately changed her face, and asked Shuhua timidly. Shuhua burst out laughing.She patted Shuzhen on the shoulder and said, "Fourth sister, you are so honest, so you will suffer." She bowed her head and whispered in Shuzhen's ear, "I'm talking about monsters, you go to the main room now." Go and see." Shuzhen looked at Shuhua in bewilderment, not understanding what Shuhua meant.Qin and Juemin have already entered the room.Shuhua and Shuzhen lifted the curtain and went in. Qin took off her skirt in the inner room first, and then came back to the study.Shuhua began to talk about Shuying to Qin.She told everything she and Mrs. Zhou had heard from Juexin and Cuihuan: Keming felt a little regretful, and he allowed Mrs. Zhang to correspond with Shuying to help Shuying's tuition. "This is the second sister's success. After all, the third father gave in!" Juemin followed Shuhua's narration and said with hints.He looked at Shuzhen again. "The third uncle is also a person, and the second sister is his own daughter after all," Qin explained with a touch of emotion. Juemin shook his head and said confidently, "It's just a coincidence. Most fathers are stubborn." "Our uncle is like this," Shuhua said suddenly. "Uncle still thinks he is good: he found a good aunt for Cousin Hui, but Cousin Hui herself is not blessed," Juemin continued. "These people are probably poisoned too deeply. But there are always a few people who can understand later," Qin said. "Then do you believe that Fifth Dad and Fifth Aunt will understand in the future?" Shuhua said disapprovingly. Qin's eyes immediately turned to Shuzhen's face, Shuzhen's small mouth moved, she didn't say anything, but she blushed and buried her head.Qin thought of Shuhua's words, but she couldn't answer, her heart was disturbed by sympathy, she seemed to see the black shadow of a huge eagle covering Shuzhen's head.She really wanted to hold Shuzhen in her arms and comfort her.But she didn't.She just glared at Shuhua, and reprimanded in a low voice: "Third cousin, you shouldn't mention fifth uncle and fifth aunt in front of fourth cousin." Shuhua fell silent.She glanced at Shuzhen and felt uncomfortable, so she turned her gaze out of the window. At this time, Cuihuan came to call them for dinner. This morning, three tables of banquets were prepared in the kitchen.There is a table in the main room, where Mrs. Zhang, Mrs. Zhou, Keming and other nine people sit; in the upper right room (that is, the room of the late old man), there are only Juexin, Juemin, Shuhua, Shuzhen, and others sitting at a table. There were six Shufen and Qin, and three children were added later: Jueren (five and a half years old) from the third room, Juexian (five years old) and Shufang (three years old) from the fourth room.Another banquet table was placed in the study room, where Jueying, Juequn and Jueshi all ate with Mr. Jiaodu. Maids and servants serve the lords and wives in the hall.Cuihuan, Qixia, Qian'er, and Chunlan are four maidservants taking care of the house in the upper right room.Cuihuan has to take care of Jueren, Qian'er has to take care of Juexian, and Nanny Yang takes care of Shufang so that the three children don't stain the new clothes or knock over the dishes. The happiest people at the table in the upper right room are Jue Ren, Jue Xian and Shu Fang. They are not in front of their parents, and their actions will not be interfered with. Moreover, the Dragon Boat Festival is a happy festival for young hearts.They wear new clothes, eat zongzi and salted eggs, and have the word "king" written on their foreheads with realgar wine.They knelt on chairs, enthusiastically moved their chopsticks, or clamored for the two maidservants to bring them such and such dishes.Next is Shuhua, this carefree and carefree girl, she is happy as long as she sees the sunny weather or gets together with the people she likes.She ate the most at the table and talked the most, and she refused to let her mouth rest.Shuzhen was always a timid child.Her eyes are always looking at Qin, and only when she is beside Qin can she feel warm and peaceful.She sometimes looked at Shuhua, besides Qin, Shuhua was her only protector.Only when she saw the faces of these two people did she feel a little bit alive.The smile rarely left Shuhua's face today, and Qin also had a gentle smile on her face, and Qin looked at her with encouraging eyes from time to time.They were all happy, and she should be too, and in fact she was.Yet she never laughed out loud once.When she wanted to laugh, she just moved her small mouth slightly, letting a light pass across her face lightly.From then on, there was no trace of a smile on her face.What is easy to be seen is her blank expression.It seemed that her thoughts came slower and her comprehension was weaker.Qin sometimes noticed that even the shadow in the room illuminated by the sun was still hanging over Shuzhen's head.Shuzhen's blank smile would also give Qin an unpleasant feeling. But take Qin as an example, after all, she is more happy.There was no shadow over her own head.Juemin's head will not be there either.She also heard good news about Shuying today.No matter how people interpret it, Shuying finally won.This is her victory. She and Juemin helped Shuying arrange everything.This news proves that neither her belief nor her path is wrong.This is just the beginning.She has a bright future ahead of her.Sunny weather inspires a cheerful heart.Qin's heart is like the sky, there is no dark cloud there. Juemin is a relatively calm person.His faith is firmer, and his thoughts are more thoughtful.He is sometimes angry, but he is not often depressed.And he knows better how to vent his anger.He has changed a lot in the past few years, but he always walked forward along the same road, without turning or jumping.He doesn't think about the past or the future at this table, he even thinks that the future is in his own hands.He felt that he saw things most clearly, so his heart was also the most peaceful.If his heart was stirred it was by something else, love.It was an unhindered, natural love that excited him, inspired him, brought him happiness.The smile and gaze on that beautiful face seemed to be a gentle hand soothing his heart.He thinks he is happy now. On this table, only Juexin thinks about the past from time to time, only he is attacked by melancholy, only he thinks the past is more beautiful than reality.He also sometimes laughs out loud with Suh-hwa.But when the others fell silent, he wondered why he was laughing.Sometimes other people talked cheerfully, and he would see the shadow of the past in those words.They remind him of a person or an event.This person or this matter will lead him to another realm.There was no shadow over his head.But old money (or silk) clung to his heart.Laughter and sunshine can't wash away the traces of those old days.He drank more than his brother and sister.But a small amount of wine not only failed to make him intoxicated, but helped to evoke his past memories.The wine turned into a bitter cup, and he dreaded drinking it too often.He is still chasing happiness. Although there are all young people at this table, they have such different moods.They don't know each other well (Qin and Juemin are the exceptions, the two of them have so many opportunities to reveal their hearts to each other), but they care about each other and love each other.They can talk frankly, without doubts and suspicions at the table.Shuzhen's blank expression and Juexin's absent-minded expression sometimes break the happy atmosphere.However, these were just one or two white clouds in the blue sky, which were blown away by the warm wind after a while.Shuhua's carefree laughter, Qin's clear voice, Juemin's forceful words, they often make Juexin's gathered eyebrows stretch, and Shuzhen's bloodless pink face smiles. Although there are fewer people in this party than two or three years ago, and there are some people who are worth remembering, but this time is a happy party and today is a happy holiday, even Juexin can't help thinking so. It's another situation in the main room.The table seemed to be filled with happy laughter.People speak freely.There are no memories of the past, no visions of the future.There is no blank expression, no gathered eyebrows.Finger-guessing, drinking, joking.It is indeed a rare, joyful and exciting gathering for those people.However, all this is just the surface, and even the laughter is empty.It seems that people hide their hearts and only show their faces to others.Personal grievances, conflicts of interest, differences in temperament, differences in hobbies, and differences in opinions have not disappeared, but alcohol has suppressed them all in the bottom of my heart.There is only a little bit of alcohol on the face.This should be the same.So even Aunt Chen's and Wang's two pink faces (both with the same red color) actually (regardless of the two hostile hearts) looked at each other with a smile and said friendly words.They were also vigorously guessing at each other, shouting so loudly. It seems that only Mrs. Zhang is calmer at this table.Although she always had a smile on her chubby face, she didn't write the words of forgiveness in her heart.She hasn't returned to this place for more than half a year, but she often knows what happened in this mansion from her daughter.She seemed to be on the sidelines, so she felt she could see better than anyone else.She noticed the changes, she noticed the strange trends, she even saw in the actions and words of some people the symptoms of a crisis she feared.She has dissatisfaction and anxiety.But she was able to hide them in her heart and just let her happiness rise on her face, because seeing the faces of some relatives and returning to the place she loved so much, she herself felt a lot of happiness.She could also imagine that she brought happiness to other people as well.These people are the Zhou family and the Keming couple. Mrs. Zhang's smile and gentle voice made Keming seem to see the former appearance of this mansion.She also brought him a glimmer of hope.A harmonious family, a happy reunion, everything is the same as before, according to the old rules, there are no disputes, no disputes, no struggles.At the banquet, he only saw happy smiles and heard intimate greetings. The whole family is here, in the upper right room, and in the study, as if they are still tightly bound together by the same belt.Everything I have experienced in the past two or three years seems to be just a nightmare.What is in front of you now is the truth.He thought so, he even forgot what happened the day before.He raised his glass, moved his chopsticks, talked and laughed, and sometimes looked back with satisfaction. He felt that he was still the head of a happy family. In fact, this is the complete opposite of the truth.He will soon understand: such a party, such laughter is just a dream.But what he regards as a dream scene is reality, an unchangeable reality. The short festival ended quickly.Mrs. Zhang talked heartily at Gao's house all day, played cards twelve rounds, and finally let the sedan chair carry her away.Her daughter (Qin) went back with her in a sedan chair.Both the mother and the daughter left some happy memories in this mansion that gradually fell into silence.