Chapter 14 14

The next day is the last day of the year in the old calendar.In the morning, Juehui woke up very late. When he opened his eyes, the sun had already come in from the window, illuminating the room very brightly.Juemin stood by the bed, looked at him with a smile, and said: "Look, how did you sleep last night?" Juehui looked at herself, and it turned out that a quilt was pressing half of her body.He lifted the quilt, only to realize that last night he fell on the bed without taking off his clothes and fell asleep indiscriminately.He smiled at Juemin, turned over and sat up, feeling the sun hurt his eyes, so he rubbed his hands twice.The old Huang Ma who served their brothers came into the room holding a basin.

"Last night, after drinking so much, I was so drunk that I fell asleep without taking off my clothes. In this cold weather, it is easy to catch cold. I came to cover you up. You lay stretched out on the bed and slept soundly. I didn't wake up until this time today!" Mama Huang said alone, but there was still a smile on her wrinkled face.She often scolded them, as a mother scolds her son.They know her temper and know that she really loves them, so both brothers like her. Juemin smiled, and Juehui couldn't help laughing too. "Huang Ma, you are so talkative. Everyone is happy during the New Year's dinner, so what's the point of having a few more glasses of wine? Ah, I remember, last night you stood next to me and kept looking at me fiercely. It makes me so boring! During the holidays, you should also relax us a bit. You are more powerful than your wife, and your wife doesn’t care about us,” Juehui complained with a smile, and he deliberately joked with her.

"It's because my wife doesn't care much about you, so I will take care of you!" Huang Ma was making the bed.Hearing Juehui's last words, he turned around and said to him. "I am in my fifties this year. I have worked in the mansion for more than ten years, and I have seen you grow up with my own eyes. I have served you for more than ten years. You also think highly of me and have never scolded me. I was old I wanted to go home a long time ago, but I was worried. I saw everything in the mansion. Now it’s really not the same as before. I often think, I’d better leave as soon as possible. It’s not worth living in Muddy Water after living in Qingshui But I can't bear to part with you. I am gone, and no one will take care of you. You are really two good young masters, just like the deceased wife. If the wife is still here, how much I would like to see you grow up! And our young mistress, Who in the mansion doesn’t like her? You should treat her well too! I think my wife will bless you well in the sky. When you finish your studies and become high-ranking officials, even I, an old woman, will have face at that time!”

"If you really become a high-ranking official, I'm afraid you, an old lady, will be forgotten. How can I remember you?" Juehui laughed. "You won't. I don't want you to do me any favors. As long as you become famous in your studies, I'll be relieved," she said sincerely, looking at them with loving eyes. "Huang Ma, we will never forget you," Juemin said, and went to pat her on the shoulder with his hand.She smiled at him, took the washbasin and walked out the door. Just as she was about to step over the threshold, she turned around and said, "Don't eat any more wine today."

"It doesn't matter if you eat less," Juehui said with a smile, but she had already walked out of the room and was out of hearing. "She's really kind. A good person like her is really rare among the 'bottom people'," Juemin praised involuntarily after seeing Huang's mother gone. "This is really a great discovery for you: it turns out that the 'subordinates' have feelings and consciences just like the master," Juehui said sarcastically. Juemin knew that Juehui was laughing at him, so he kept silent.He lifted his foot and walked outside.

"Are you going to my aunt's house again?" Juehui asked loudly from behind. As soon as Juemin stepped out of the threshold, he heard Juehui asking, and turned his head to look at him, as if scolding him, but still replied gently: "No, I will go for a walk in the garden, will you go too?" Juehui Nodding his head, he followed Juemin out.They walked through the door of Juexin's room, and heard Qian'er, the maidservant of the fourth room, calling "Eldest Young Master" inside.They didn't pay attention either, so they went straight to the garden. "Let's go to the right, I know Grandpa is inside the Merlin," Juemin said as soon as they entered the Moon Cave Gate, and then walked to the right.On the right is a zigzag corridor with whitewashed walls inlaid with some marble picture screens, and beyond that there are a few windows for the outer living room; outside is a stone railing.There is a large rockery outside the railing, and a long patio, where some flowers and plants are usually planted; there is also a flower bed, on which a few dead branches of peonies stand bravely in the cold air, and each branch is wrapped with cotton.

"That's the best way. Even though it's a dead branch, it doesn't tremble in the cold wind. We should follow its example. Don't be like that grass, which falls down and withers as soon as the frost comes!" Juehui looked at the flower bed Send out such compliments. "You're talking again," Juemin said with a smile; "Although the peony has survived the winter like this, and has sprouted leaves and bloomed, it still can't escape Grandpa's pair of scissors." "What's the big deal? The next year, new flowers bloom as usual!" Juehui replied enthusiastically.They went forward again.

They went out of the corridor, down the stone steps, and then into a courtyard.There are some strange rocks piled up in the courtyard, high and low, made into various shapes, some are like bowing old men, some are like roaring lions, and some are like long-necked white cranes.They walked around the strange rock and climbed the stone steps, but there was a bamboo fence in front of them, with a small door in the middle, just enough for one person to go in and out.They saw only a bamboo grove in front of the door, and there seemed to be no way. After entering the door, they found a narrow path in the middle of the bamboo grove.After walking through the bamboo forest, they heard the sound of gurgling water. It turned out that there was a small stream at the end of the bamboo forest. The water flowed down from the rockery. It was so clear that people could see the stones and fallen leaves under the water.A wooden bridge leads them to the opposite bank.They crossed the bridge and walked into a courtyard.There is a thatched gazebo in the middle of the patio.There are several osmanthus trees and camellias in front of the pavilion.Passing through this gazebo is another wall of pink and white, and there is a small door in the left corner. They had just turned a corner when the sound of waves suddenly entered their ears.

They were led into a winding maze-like railing, and they walked for a long time before they got out of this maze.In front of it is a dam with many tall pine trees planted.In the pine forest there is only the sound of the wind.When they walked halfway, they saw a place with sparse pine trees on the right, and a red-painted window loomed in the corner.They walked out of the pine forest.In front is a bright white lake, which looks like a crescent moon, embracing the opposite bank. People standing here can see the lake pavilion and the curved bridge. They stood by the lake for a while, looking at the slightly undulating water.Juehui still couldn't get rid of his childishness, so he picked up a few stones and threw them towards the opposite side.He wanted to throw the stone to the other side, but the stone fell in the middle of the lake.Juemin also picked up two or three stones and threw them, but they couldn't pass them.Although the lake is relatively narrow in this section, it is far away from the opposite bank, and the stones cannot reach it.

"Okay, don't throw stones. Let's find a place to sit on the opposite side," Juemin advised Juehui.The two walked onto the narrow round arch bridge and reached the opposite bank. When they got off the bridge, there was a grassland more than a foot wide in front of them, and they walked up the stone steps. There was a large courtyard where several magnolia trees were planted. He walked up a stone step and arrived at the newly painted building. Except for the tiles, it was all vermilion, which looked bright and eye-catching.A plaque was hung under the eaves, with three large black characters in official script on it: "Wanxianglou".

Juemin sat down on the porcelain stool and looked up at the plaque written by his grandfather in front of the building. Juehui strolled on the steps alone.He looked at his brother sitting on the porcelain stool and smiled, and then said, "Let's go to the mountain behind." "Let's rest for a while," Juemin refused to get up after sitting down, and he declined. "Alright, then I'll go inside and have a look," Juehui said, pushing open the door and going in.He never paid attention to the calligraphy, paintings and furnishings inside. He only took a look around, then turned to the back and climbed the stairs to the top. There was someone upstairs.That's Juexin.He lay weakly on the bed, eyes half closed, looking haggard. "What? Brother, you sleep here! Alone, quietly!" Juehui exclaimed in astonishment. Juexin opened his eyes, looked at Juehui, forced a smile, and said, "I want to hide here and rest for a while. I'm too tired these days. I really can't be quiet in my own room. If this matter comes to you, then Something has to come to you too. I have to stay up all night tonight, so I'd better take a rest as soon as possible, so as not to be overwhelmed when the time comes." "Qian'er was looking for you just now, I don't know what's going on," Juehui said. "You didn't tell her I'm here, did you?" Juexin asked hastily. "No. I didn't see her, I just heard her calling you from your room." "Okay," Juexin said reassuringly, "I know it must be my fourth dad who asked me to do something for him, so it's good to avoid it." Juehui thought, Big Brother's strategy has changed now.But he immediately raised another question: he doesn't know what the result will be if he uses strategies to cope with the environment like his eldest brother. "Brother, you drank a lot of wine last night. You love to drink recently, but you were not like this before. Your health is not very good, why bother to drink like this, it is not good for you!" Jue Hui Thinking of this incident, he tried to persuade his eldest brother.He is a man who speaks wherever he thinks. "You often laugh at my strategy, and this is one of my strategies," Juexin sat up and said with a wry smile. "The reality weighs me down too much. After drinking and getting drunk, I feel that life is easier." He paused, and then said: "I admit that I am a coward. I dare not face life, I have no courage. I just had to make myself confused and live in oblivion." Juehui thought painfully: what can a person do if he admits that he is a coward?He began to feel pity for Juexin, and later he sympathized with Juexin.At first he wanted to say a few words to comfort his elder brother, but he was afraid that Juexin would bring out even more unpleasant words, so he stopped talking and planned to go downstairs. "Third brother, don't go," Juehui was called out by Juexin; Juexin said solemnly: "I have something to ask you." Juehui walked back to Juexin.Juexin looked at him and asked, "Have you seen Cousin Mei?" "Cousin Mei? How do you know she's coming to the province?" Juehui asked in surprise. He didn't expect Juexin to ask such a question. "I didn't see her, sister Qin did." Juexin nodded and said, "I've seen her. It happened several days ago, in the commercial area, at the gate of Xinfaxiang." He paused here, as if recalling the scene at that time .Juehui stood in front of him, silent, just looking at his face, trying to know his mood and what he was thinking at this moment. "She came out with my aunt. My aunt was talking to people in the shop. She was looking at the fabrics at the door of the store.I saw her so quickly that I almost cried out.She looked up and saw me too.She nodded as if to say hello, then turned her face inside again. I followed her face and saw that my aunt was inside.I didn't dare to approach her, so I had to stand and watch her from a distance.Her watery eyes stared at me for a while.I saw her lips moving slightly, and I thought she might have something to say, but she turned her head away, walked in without saying a word, and never looked back at me. " A burst of children's laughter burst into the building, but fell silent again.Juexin paused for a moment and continued: "This meeting brought back all the past events for me. I had already forgotten about her. Your sister-in-law is the best for me, and I like your sister-in-law very much. But now that May is back, she makes her I remember everything from the past. How can you say I don’t want her? I can’t forget her in such an environment. I would like to know how she feels now. I think she might resent me because I failed her .I know she got married and became a widow again, and returned to her natal family to live with her aunt..." He paused, with pain and regret showing on his face.He sighed slightly. "She won't resent you. After such a long time, and after such a change, everyone will forget the past. I don't know why you have to torture yourself with the past! The past should be buried deeply Get up. We should only look at the present and think about the future. And Cousin Mei may have forgotten you a long time ago," Juehui knew in her heart that she was lying when she said the last sentence. "You don't understand," Juexin said, shaking his head, "how can she forget the past? Women in her family are the easiest to remember the past. If her environment is better, and she has a considerate husband, then she may be able to forget Some, I can rest assured. However, fate played tricks on her, making her a young widow, accompanied by that stubborn mother, to live the life of a nunnery. How can I feel at ease, how can I forget her But I think about her more, and I feel sorry for your sister-in-law. Your sister-in-law loves me like that, and I need to love others. If I live like this, I will kill two women. How do you think I can forgive myself?  … The reality is too painful. I want to muddle my brain a little bit, so I drink a lot lately. You don't know, I often cry behind people's back. Of course I don't cry in front of people. And the wine wears off after a short time. Lost its narcotic effect, regret followed, I feel that I should not be so weak, I hate myself!" Juehui wanted to blame Juexin at first: "You found this all by yourself. Why didn't you resist and express your own opinions? Now you deserve it!" But seeing Juexin's pain is more sad than crying He felt that there was no reason to blame Juexin now.He persuaded with half pity and half comfort: "There is also a solution to this. As long as Cousin Mei falls in love with someone else in the future and gets married again, all problems will be solved." Juexin shook his head and smiled wryly: "This is impossible. You are really fascinated by the new book. You don't open your eyes to see the real environment. You think that in her kind of family, such a thing is possible Does it? Not to mention her mother's disapproval, even she herself would never have such an idea. " Juehui seemed to have nothing to say, and he felt that there was no need to argue with Juexin.Now he is farther and farther away from his elder brother in thought.He really couldn't understand Juesin.He thought, since such a thing is legitimate, why not do it?Sacrificing one's life's happiness for the sake of a realistic and changeable environment, such a sacrifice is unnecessary and of no benefit to anyone, but it only prolongs the life of the old family for a while.Why can't Cousin Mei remarry?Since the eldest brother loves her, why did he marry the current sister-in-law?Why do you still think about Cousin Mei after marrying your sister-in-law?He seemed to understand all this, but after a while he felt that he really could not understand.Everything in this big family was a complicated knot, which his frank, passionate youthful heart could not untie.He stood in front of his eldest brother, looking at his painful face, a terrible thought suddenly hit his heart.The sad truth is that such people are hopeless, irretrievable.To bring them new thoughts, to open their eyes to see the world for what it is, is but to increase their misery, as it is to make a dead body stand up and see its own decay. This painful truth tormented his youthful heart.He seemed to understand all this, and the more unpleasant consequences of the future loomed prophetically before his eyes.He seemed to see an abyss lying in front of his elder brother, people like them, but they walked towards it without hesitation, as if they didn't know it.In fact, it's okay not to know, because they are irretrievable.His own situation was such that he could not rescue them as he watched them go down that abyss.What a pain!Thinking of this, he himself became melancholy.He seemed to have entered a narrow alley and could not find a way out.The laughter outside reached his ears one after another, as if mocking him. "Forget it, how can there be so many things in my little mind! As long as I can be a good person myself." Thinking like this, it seems that he has found the best solution, and he no longer thinks about it something happened.He strolled to the window, put his head out of the window and saw Jueying, Juequn, and sisters Shuying, Shuhua, Shuzhen, and Shufen kicking shuttlecocks on the steps, and Juemin joined in. "Why are you all here?" Juehui asked loudly with a smile. "Have you eaten yet?" Shuhua is kicking the shuttlecock below, counting while kicking.She was startled when she heard Juehui's voice, and instinctively raised her head to look at it, then quickly hooked the shuttlecock with her foot, but it was too late, the shuttlecock fell to the ground with a "ta" sound, and had just kicked to one hundred and forty-five Down. The Juemin brothers and sisters, who were helping to count positively, were impatient and cheered in unison when they saw the shuttlecock fall.Shuhua stomped her feet angrily, and must make Juehui compensate. "Why should I pay? I didn't talk to you," Juehui replied with a smile. He turned and left the window, ready to go downstairs. As soon as he turned around, he saw that Juexin was no longer here, and at the same time he heard the sound of the stairs.He walked slowly to the stairs and walked down the stairs. On the stairs, he heard Juexin talking below, and when he got there, Juexin was already kicking shuttlecock there. "It's almost dinner time, and you're still kicking shuttlecocks here, which makes the servants look around," Juehui said. "It's still early! Grandpa ordered dinner to be a little lighter today. Everyone drank too much wine last night, so we woke up better today," Shuhua rushed to answer, and after she said that, she went to count how many shuttlecocks Juexin had kicked. . "Third brother, don't you come to kick?" Jueying raised her head like a child, made a strange face at Juehui, and asked with a smile. Juehui was about to answer when Shuhua preempted her by saying: "He can't kick, he can't kick ten times!" She laughed at Juehui like this, as if revenge for the previous shuttlecock drop, her Yuanyuan A smug smile appeared on Fen's face. At this time, Juexin had already dropped the shuttlecock, and Shuying should kick it next.Shuying appeared to be an expert at kicking the shuttlecock, and she attracted everyone's attention from the very beginning.She kicked unhurriedly, counting the number in her mouth, holding the braid behind her back with one hand, and her body moved very regularly.The shuttlecock became a very obedient thing, it just jumped up and down at her feet.As if there was suction on her feet, the shuttlecock fell and always landed on her feet.She played for a long time, but she was still not far from the original place.While counting for her, everyone watched her kick with envy.Everyone hoped that she would kick the shuttlecock down immediately, but in fact the more she kicked the shuttlecock, the more she refused to leave her feet, as if she would never kick the shuttlecock off by herself.So everyone complained next to her again, and some even made noises to disturb her attention.Juehui sat on a porcelain stool in the courtyard, watching the competition without speaking.He sat there alone, taking no part in their laughter, and even looking at them with envy.For the first time, he felt sadly unfamiliar with various games. But it was only for a moment.Loneliness comes suddenly, but it goes quickly.He watched the game play calmly and with interest. The shuttlecock on Shuying's toes finally landed, and it was Shuzhen's turn to kick it again.The twelve-year-old girl moved her little feet in red satin embroidered shoes with difficulty.The deformed feet attract attention with their frail appearance.Juehui, like everyone else, had noticed these little feet, which were famous in the mansion, but they had never won his affection.Those little feet seemed to him like bullet marks on the wall of the gate, and they brought back a painful memory for him.So Shuzhen's wailing because of her bound feet came back to his ears across those years. However, she stood clearly in front of her eyes.It is still the pair of little feet that won the love and affection of some people, and it is still the pair of little feet that were exchanged for her pain and blood and tears.But now she forgets everything and laughs here, and there is no trace of sadness on her face.It was the face of an innocent, cheerful girl, without any expression of sadness. "Maybe she's too young, so I don't understand it yet." Thinking this way, Juehui inadvertently set her eyes on Juexin's face again, looking for something on this face. Juexin talked to Shuying standing beside him with a smile.Shuying showed anger, and wanted to twist Juexin's arms, but Juexin ran to the steps, and Shuying followed.Juexin ran around the magnolia tree twice.Shuying couldn't catch up with her, so she got angry and wanted to pick up clods and throw him.He jumped down the stone steps to the grass, ready to cross the bridge. "Don't run, I won't chase you anymore. Come back," Shuying stood under a magnolia tree and shouted loudly. Juexin had already stopped at the bridgehead.He looked at Shuying and smiled, and let out a few breaths. "Brother, come on, now it's your turn to kick the shuttlecock," Shuying said again.Juexin still stood still. "Okay, let you go, it doesn't matter if you are missing," Shuying said pretending to be angry, then turned around and walked back to the stone steps in front of the building. As soon as she turned around, Juexin walked back.He walked lightly, holding back his laughter, walked across the courtyard and down the stairs.Shuying stood on the steps with her back facing the outside, her braid hanging down.He pinched her braid, but Shufen saw it, she laughed and called out: "Second Sister, there is someone behind!" Shuying quickly turned her head to look, and he had already inserted a twig into her braid .Shuying pulled the braid and pulled out the branch and threw it on the ground.Everyone laughed happily. Juehui watched all this silently, and he couldn't help laughing.But at the same time he couldn't suppress another thought.He thought, people are so forgetful, the same person has changed two faces in a short period of time.Afterwards, he thought, probably because of this forgetfulness, he was able to live in pain.Thinking this way, he also had a temporary understanding of the eldest brother who had just dug the grave of the past and immediately forgot everything.