Chapter 140 one thirty nine

"I don't want to live here all the time. I should tell you about that 'who'. Although he is a fellow from the city, he also works in the dumpling restaurant and works as an accountant. He is three years older than me." "It's the right age." "It's not just age. He and I don't talk about so many feelings when we are together, but there are feelings. You say that human feelings are so natural, why are there so many books about feelings? What's the use?" "Well, probably so." "That's it." "Maybe so."

Su Mei originally wanted to wait until Ye Longbei came back, but thinking of going back to Shicheng with her mother, she bid farewell to Yuxiu.Before leaving, she left a note for Ye Longbei and pressed it on the desk, telling him to come back when he had time.On Ye Longbei's desk, she saw another piece of manuscript paper and the words on it.It is no longer "Old Battalion Commander", it seems to be "Sea", "Beach", "Sea House".What is it, she plans to listen to Ye Longbei next time. Su Mei and her mother go back to Shicheng together.On the train, Zhuang Chen told Su Mei about Si Yiwen's two marriages for the first time, and asked Su Mei if she had noticed a scar on her mother-in-law's forehead, like a crescent moon.Su Mei tried hard to remember.Zhuang Chen shed tears and said that it was proof that his father and mother were married. , Said that from the day she was sensible, she was worried about them all day long, and said that you were also worried about me and your dad when you were young, but it was because we were on the farm.

"Why don't you want a child yet?" Zhuang Chen asked Su Mei out of the blue. Su Mei just looked out of the window and smiled. "Go ahead, I'll show you!" Su Mei still smiled, but didn't answer. Maybe she was laughing at mom's quick change of topic, or maybe she was laughing at mom's boldness: "I'll show you!" Seeing that Su Mei was silent, Zhuang Chen thought to himself: Whatever happens (about the child). That summer, Su Mei came to Xiangshao for the last time. Five years later, Si Yiwen no longer needs Zhuxi to "move" her, nor does she need to repeat her mantra "If you want to live, you have to move", even though she had to move a lot to complete the mantra. Brainstorm.She repeatedly adjusted the text, trying to make it more catchy, more elegant, more classic and handed down.She changed "just" to "must", and changed "if you want to live, you have to move" to "if you want to live, you have to move".This is a scrutiny, just like the scrutiny of ancient Chinese poets on whether "the monk pushes the door under the moon" or "the monk knocks on the door under the moon".Si Yiwen finally completed this deliberation.In a trance, she often felt that there was a Yuexia door on "Ghost Seeing Sorrow", and she stood in front of that door from time to time, hesitating whether to push or knock, and imagined the winding path leading to the secluded scene in the Yuexia door.It was only when the urinal stretched towards her lower body that she realized that she was still lying on the bed, and there was no moon door in front of her eyes, and the "should" and "must" she deduced were also eclipsed by future generations.

Not long ago, she couldn't even use the urinal. Her skin has become old cotton wool, and a little poking would cause unimaginable consequences.Doctors call this phenomenon a bedsore.Zhuxi told Su Mei that the decubitus sores on Si Yiwen's thighs and back were already in the fourth stage—the necrotic ulcer stage. Si Yiwen lived as a baby, and now she wears pants.The pants caught between her legs had to be changed regularly by Takenishi.At first she refused the trousers, just as she had expressed a lot of anger when she refused to enter the back room.She didn't want Zhuxi to see her lower body, and she couldn't bear Zhuxi pulling up her legs to pull the pants back and forth between her legs.She felt that it was a kind of humiliation, because Zhuxi wanted to see her.When she was young, she had experienced the humiliation of "watching", although Zhuang Shaojian was willing to watch at that time, but now Song Zhuxi is tired of watching.Zhuxi explained the necessity of "seeing" to her, but Si Yiwen believed her explanation in desperation but was still awkward.She obeyed Zhuxi in awkwardness, but Zhuxi's "humiliation" to her was not over yet.In midsummer, in order to ventilate Si Yiwen's body, Zhuxi let her stay naked.

Su Mei entered the house at such a time. When she got used to the light in the back room, she saw "fish" swimming in the water again.This is no longer the lively fish she saw back then, this is a dried fish on the verge of shrinking.It turns out that both live and dried fish can frighten her.But Su Mei is no longer the fourteen-year-old Su Mei after all, she didn't run out and she shouldn't have run out, she stood calmly in front of Si Yiwen's bed, Si Yiwen was turning sideways. Su Mei saw the gray cloth between Si Yiwen's legs that had just been wet with urine and her shrunken buttocks that looked like two wilted apples.Several fist-sized, bowl-sized sores were covered with dressings.She never imagined that a person's buttocks could shrink into such a shriveled and thin body, just as she could never imagine how a huge baby's head could emerge from the mother's vagina.Inside her body was a baby's head.

Si Yiwen sensed that someone had entered the house. She turned her head with difficulty and saw Su Mei, and then stretched out her hands to fumble around her in panic.She wanted to pull a random piece of something to cover herself, she was unwilling to meet Su Mei in this state.But she couldn't touch something that was slightly away from her, and she didn't even have the strength to pull off the pillow cover to cover herself.She still held onto the pillow towel and did not let go, but the pillow towel was pressed by her own head.She reached out to grab the wet cloth between her legs again, trying to prove that the rag was stuffed to her temporarily, she didn't need this thing originally, and she had the ability to pull it out and throw it away.But she failed again, as she was powerless against the wet cloth between her legs, just as she was powerless against the pillow towel under her head.She blushed her originally pale face because of anger, and she didn't know how to deal with the person looking at her in front of her.She turned her head and closed her eyes, but all the parts of her body were still in place, she was still exposed when she was exposed, she was still hanging when she was drying, and the two shriveled apples were still facing the visitor.

Su Mei fully understood Si Yiwen's series of complicated ideas that she couldn't complete by herself just now, she took a towel from the corner of the bed and put it on Si Yiwen's waist. As soon as Si Yiwen touched the towel quilt, she realized that her body was covered, and she was a person who could meet people again, and the person who met her was Su Mei who danced in front of her last time.She began to cry, not loudly but with grief. She had never shown such grief in front of Su Mei.She cried for a long time before she turned her face around and opened her eyes to look at Su Mei with a questioning look, tears washed her face crystal clear.Su Mei found that Si Yiwen's face was smoother and smoother than before, her straight nose bridge and nose wings were still straight, and she didn't even add a single wrinkle; her lips were still fresh and full, her eyes were clear, and her teeth were still neat and strong.Although her hair was getting thinner day by day, the flying of her cheeks added a bit of vitality to the whole face.

No matter what, Su Mei couldn't connect Si Yiwen's face with her shriveled buttocks.It was a peculiar arrangement: the hip was mocking the face, and the face was stubbornly resisting the hip, like two armies at war.If everything is God's arrangement, this is God's fineness and God's negligence.It is a pity that this lively face cannot lead this body.Though she would never forget to bring the body back together until the last moment of her life, they defiled her with unwavering numbness and a strong stench. Su Mei looked at Si Yiwen's face, and for the first time she noticed the crescent-shaped scar that her husband had created for her on her forehead.The scar was hidden by the white hair on her forehead, but she could still see it clearly.It made her realize for the first time that her mother-in-law also had a husband, a husband who could fight if she wanted to, a couple who wanted to fight when she wanted to.She tried her best to hold back her tears, not because she was afraid that her mother-in-law would see the sadness she showed in front of her, but because she saw strands of living desire in her tears.She understood Si Yiwen's radiant face as before, it was a rare face created by desire, it was nourished by desire and nourished by desire.She is willing to use this face to see the constant novelty of the world, to face all the criticisms brought to her by each novelty.But the husband who left her first was a coward who was afraid of life. He only left her a small scar, and then he left in fear and never returned.