Chapter 8 Chapter 4.2

Hearing what I said, the old man put away the folding fan, pointed it at Ziqing and reprimanded him, "But Ziqing doesn't come home all day long, and I don't seem to have a son like him at all. Is it a blessing? I don't care about living." How well he looks, how well he wears, how well he eats, he cares whether his son has me in his heart or not. Ziqing has changed. He no longer has my mother in his heart..." I looked at Ziqing with a smile. Ziqing said: "Mom, why do you still let me have you in my heart? I spend all my time outside, not to learn to be debauched, but to..."

Ziqing didn't finish speaking and went to answer the phone. After he answered the phone, he went back to the living room. His mother pointed at him with a folding fan and continued to scold him: "You want to say it's for making money, right? Money, money, money, money is what you think about all day long! Son, money How many things are there? Do you want to be a capitalist?..." Ziqing said: "Mother, you don't know the current standard of living, and you don't know the current standard of consumption, so you just talk about it. As far as the little money I have painstakingly accumulated, I can only say that I have just escaped poverty. If I don't hurry up and earn money Is it? It won't be too long, after a decade or two, we will be poor! Will I be poor by then? Don't you have to be poor with me too?"

The old man opened his mouth, but was speechless for a moment. I asked Ziqing for a cigarette, and after taking two puffs, I tried to use an objective and fair tone and said: "Ziqing, you are not seeking truth from facts. If you have just escaped poverty, then I have to emphasize Are you poor? More than 95% of the Chinese people are still in dire straits, should they sing "The Internationale"?..." Ziqing laughed again.Instead of answering my question, he said to his mother, "Mom, I'm not lying to you. In the north, in our city, it's true that no one would laugh at us for being poor right now. But if it's in the south, if it's somewhere along the coast In some places, people like me have to feel inferior all day because of being poor..."

His mother interrupted him angrily: "Don't say it, don't say it. The more I talk, the more I don't like to hear it! Open your mouth and it means the south and the south. I don't believe it's the same as China. The south is full of gold and silver! No matter how good the south is, your south is as good as it is!" Do you have a mother? Even if everyone in the south is rich, and everyone is so rich that money drops from their trousers, so what if you don’t go? Will the southerners come to the north to laugh at you for being poor? ..." The old man asked me again: "Xiaosheng, is the south as he said?"

I said, "No, ma'am. In the south, there are very few rich people. It's like what he said, he's talking nonsense!" The old man then asked: "I don't believe that in ten or twenty years, China will change from being the poorest country on earth to the richest and richest country on earth. It’s a poor life that can’t be lived any longer!” I said, "Auntie, I don't believe it either. Thinking like this is purely self-deception, purely a dream." The old man clapped his hands and said in great agreement: "Your mother loves to hear it! I can't get angry after hearing it! I even survived the poor life on the 'dirty street' in the early years, and I still keep saying that I just lived in this kind of blessed life. Isn't it too expensive to get rid of poverty?"

I glanced at Ziqing and criticized: "Ziqing, Madam said you burned the buns. I heard what you said, and I also think you are a bit burned. Do you admit it or not?" Ziqing couldn't bear the joy of being told by his mother and me, so he put out the cigarette in the ashtray, got up and walked into another room. The old man said, "He doesn't like to listen to us, does he?" I said, "Yeah, he doesn't like to hear it!" The old man lowered his voice and demanded: "Then you have to discipline him for the aunt. Usually, I rarely see him a few times in a month. He doesn't like to hear a word, so he turns around and leaves again! You are responsible Teach him for the aunt. You grew up together, and the relationship between brothers and sisters back then, he won't be really angry with you. "

I smiled wryly and said: "Ma'am, he is really angry with me, I have to say what I should say! Is filial piety the first big thing in everything!" The old man was moved, and he clasped one of my hands with both hands, and said tearfully: "Isn't he offering me up like a Bodhisattva? But my aunt doesn't want to be a Bodhisattva, my aunt is willing to be a bodhisattva." Son’s mother! It’s fine if you’re not in front of your eyes. What’s the matter if you can’t see him even if you want to see him when you know you’re right by your side? Da Niang hasn’t seen him for more than ten days! Today is because of you , he calmed down and waited at home honestly. I can still be his mother for a few more years! After ten or twenty years, the aunt is gone, so why are you talking about being poor or rich?..."

What Ziqing's mother said made me feel sad, and I immediately sympathized with her old man. But Ziqing leaned over from that room to this room and called me: "Come on, let's talk in this room. My mother has a nagging syndrome, as long as someone comes and grabs someone's hand, she will start nagging endlessly." , I don’t care if others are annoying or not!..." I said: "I'm not annoying, I'm not annoying, I like to chat with my aunt about homework." Ziqing came over, dragged me into that room without any explanation. That room is also very spacious.There is a huge fish tank against the wall.There are some huge tropical fish in it.It was the first time I saw a fish and asked Ziqing what kind of fish it was.Ziqing said it was a silver dragon fish.Very expensive.The pair in his fish tank was bought for more than 8,000 yuan three years ago.I can't help but click my tongue.Said more than 8,000 yuan, almost can buy a "painting king" TV.Ziqing said he bought it fairly cheap.Three years ago, there were 30,000 to 40,000 pairs of good ones.It is also said that the small fish they produce are also very valuable.Many families in this city who like to resell fish rely on the fry he sold to them for reproduction.It could almost be said that he introduced a new species of ornamental fish to the city.Some people who resell ornamental fish are tantamount to "helping the poor".When he said these words, his expression was quite complacent.Judging by his meaning, the two "silver dragons" seem to have already "generated income" for him three or four times more than eight thousand yuan.They've all grown to almost a foot long.Compared with several other ornamental fishes I have seen, it looks like an old aristocrat in the fish, and how comfortable it is to swim in the fish tank.I don't know how big the fish are for viewing.Anyway, from what I've seen, they're really big enough.As for the gold-plated fish tank, except for those in aquariums, I have never seen a fish tank that is three meters long and one and a half meters high.Its floor area, when converted, is comparable to my kitchen.Isn't it true, my kitchen is only more than three meters...

The wall opposite to the fish tank is a row of bookcases.From the gilt or silver hardcover spine, it can be seen that at least a quarter of the entire book is a deluxe edition.Many of them are canonical.From "Treasure House of Western Thought" to "Dictionary of Appreciation of Tang Poetry", "Introduction to Literature", "Dictionary of Literature", "Dictionary of Famous Chinese Literary Historians", "Grand View of Forbidden Books" and so on.I have it, in the bookcase.I have long wanted to have it but can't get it, and it is also in the bookcase.The rest of the ancient and modern Chinese and foreign books are all wrapped in glossy white paper, and the titles of the books are written in official script calligraphy on the spine.I asked Ziqing what kind of paper was used to wrap the book cover?He said it was wrapped with the reverse side of the calendar.I asked him if he still has time to read?He said there is no time to read books!It's just that I like to buy books and collect books.Said that I liked books when I was a child, but couldn't afford them.Nowadays, I can afford all kinds of books, and if I don’t buy them, I feel sorry for myself.Even if I bought it, I didn't have time to watch it.It's just a fulfillment of my childhood dream of loving books.On the top shelf of the row of bookcases in the middle, all the honorary certificates he obtained in elementary and middle school are displayed.That era was a poor and shabby era, and the production of those certificates was also very rough.Putting them in the same cabinet with those hardcover and luxurious books seems to piece together the two eras.It seems that what they can prove is not some glory of their masters, but some kind of "antique" value of themselves.I recalled Ziqing's exhortations to his mother before he went to the countryside.They seem to prove the sense of responsibility of a poor child's mother...

I stood in front of the bookcase, full of vicissitudes, and said: "My aunt is really caring. You asked her to keep it for you, but I didn't expect her to save it for you!" Ziqing said: "After I went to the countryside, my mother sewed them into my pillow. I sleep on my pillow every night, can I throw them away?" I said: "Sew it in the pillow and sleep on it, how hard it is!" Ziqing said, "That's right. My mother's cervical spondylosis is just like this. It hasn't been cured yet. Doctors everywhere say that people are old and their bones are too old. It can't be cured."

I found that in the next box where those certificates are displayed, among the works of several contemporary Chinese novelists, there are more than a dozen collections or single volumes of my novels.I immediately looked away and looked at the fish tank.I was confused for a moment, wondering how Ziqing could have collected so many of my books, and put them in the most eye-catching position in his bookcase.In recent years, I have often consciously dismissed the idea of ​​giving my books to others.In the era of commodities, everyone is busy "invigorating the economy" for public and private purposes. It seems that reading is no longer a good habit, but a quirk.Maybe it's like when Ziqing always ate stinky tofu and was regarded as heresy?If you give the bookmark you wrote to others as a formal gift, does it mean that you are advertising for yourself, lest others will not know that you have published another book?Does it also include the motivation to hope that others will "correct", "criticize" and "read and read"? "Correction" means "reading". "Criticism" means "reading".How can you "correct" and "criticize" if you don't "read"?In short, when you give someone a book, it means that you are suggesting that they read it.Reading takes time.time is money.Money is as important as life.At least it is second only to life in importance, and it is often ranked in front of love and friendship. For many modern people, it is the second most important thing.You imply that people squeeze out their time to read your book, isn't it difficult for you to force others?Don't you have the suspicion of murdering your own money? ... Ziqing did not take the initiative to tell me that there are more than a dozen books of mine in his bookcase.Judging by his appearance, it seems that he doesn't want to be discovered by me.He didn't take the initiative to tell me, and I even pretended not to notice. Ziqing was standing at the fish tank feeding the fish. While watching his fish, he said: "When I was young, I often heard from my mother that after liberation, some rich people in the past would sew ingots and gold bars into their pillows all day long. Back then, for me Mother, those certificates of mine may be like the most valuable property of my family!" I said, "Ziqing, you have more books than mine!" He glanced at me and smiled complacently: "Whatever you want, take it out and take it with you when you leave." I said: "A gentleman does not take away people's love." He said: "Books and bookcases are just a kind of indoor scenery for me. There is no difference between the number of books and the number of books." He invited me over to watch his fish.It is said that fish are actually the same as cats and dogs, and they also recognize their owners.Whoever feeds them or watches them often, they will be particularly sensitive to the weight of that person's footsteps and the color of that person's clothes.As soon as that person stands in front of the fish tank, they will float to the surface, shaking their heads and tails to show their affinity.If people who don't feed them often or watch them often stand in front of the fish tank, the situation will be very different.They will start to dive to the bottom of the water... I said, "Then why don't they come to the surface now?" He sighed and said how could he have time to feed them and watch them often! I asked if his mother often feeds him? He said that spending money to hire people to build such a huge fish tank and raise some expensive fish was not entirely for the sake of selling raw fish for money.But lest his mother would feel lonely and bored at home, he bought it for his mother as his mother.The old man doesn't care about expensive fish and not expensive fish. At the beginning, he said that it would be fine to raise some goldfish.But it is much easier for goldfish to eat more, and the water has to be changed every few days.With such a large fish tank, it is troublesome enough to change the water once.Besides, when someone sees that his family raises goldfish, he also feels disgraceful on his face.Goldfish, now it seems, has been listed as a category of "earth" things in China.But the old man can't feed these precious fish well.So, I had to hire another person to feed the fish twice a day, morning and evening.Just like Beijingers hire "part-time domestic workers"... I saw that he was talking more than just now in the living room, and the moment of displeasure passed, so I took the opportunity to persuade him. I said: "Ziqing, you, don't take your mother's words too seriously. I know you are a dutiful son. Can your mother not count?" He said: "I am not angry with my mother. How can I be angry with my mother? However, I also beg you, enlighten my mother for me. She must be sympathetic to my son! But she does not, no matter who comes , she always blames me in front of others. You and I don’t see each other, so I beg you. To tell you the truth, I don’t have more than two million! It’s only more than one million. In this day and age, tempting people to force people to brag Lies. You say you have more than one million, but they only talk to you about two to three hundred thousand. You don’t believe that you really have more than one million. So they give you a discount first. When you have 500,000 yuan, people only talk to you about 200,000 to 300,000 yuan. You say you have more than 2 million yuan, and you say it with confidence, and if they discount you, you are just a million yuan in their eyes. Lord. You have more than one million, and you go around saying that you have more than two million. Now this is tantamount to telling the truth. Because when others discount you, it is exactly your actual situation. You say you have three million , once someone discounts you, it is considered close to your actual situation. It is not bragging or lying to deceive people. About 500,000 is within the "reasonable floating limit" of the discounted truth, which is commonplace The principle between trust and belief. It’s like the limit of “reasonable loss” in production and sales. Where is the truth now? There is no truth! Only the so-called convincing lies within the “floating limit” of reasonable lies 'Truth'. You obviously only have more than one million, but you go around saying that you have five million, six million or even ten million. This is bragging, lying and deceiving people. It is a lie. The reasonable 'floating limit' of the words. I have more than one million, and I say I have more than two million. Do you think people who listen will believe it? Only fools will believe it. Once they discount what I say, they will get The conclusion is more than one million, which is the fact that fits my situation! It means that I did not lie to them. But if I want to tell the truth and say that I have more than one million, the result with them is five More than 100,000, but it means that I told lies and deceived them. I don't want to deceive people..." I had been listening very humbly while he spoke.But it seemed that he didn't understand, and it could even be said that he was getting more and more confused. Ziqing asked, "Do you understand?" I honestly admitted: "I don't understand." "Don't understand?"——Ziqing grabbed my hand, pulled me to the sofa, and asked solemnly, "Do you really understand, or you don't understand?" I said I really don't understand.It's not that I don't understand.But not at all.It seems to understand but not understand.Not so thorough. "Sit down," he said, "sit down. You can't understand this. You can't even understand it. You must understand it thoroughly. If you don't understand it thoroughly, it would be too childish. You are a writer. A good writer should at least be Half a sociologist. You sit down, you sit down..." I sit down.Looking up at him like a schoolboy.I was so ashamed.Actually feel very naive. Ziqing didn't sit down.He smoked a cigarette, took a few steps back, leaned against the bookcase, stared at me and asked, "You must have seen the Taoist Taiji diagram, right?" I said that I have seen.A solid circle is formed by two abstract yang fish and yin fish intersecting end to end.The white fish represents yang, and the black fish represents yin.It is a metaphor that when yang is at its peak, it turns into yin, and when yin is at its peak, it turns into yang.Taoists use this picture to explain the laws of the universe.Also called "Yin-Yang Diagram". Ziqing said: "What I just told you is actually the 'Tao' in real life. Taoism announced that their 'Tao' produces 'one', 'one life two', 'two begets three', let's not Discuss what their "Tao" means, and don't ask me what their "one", "two", and "three" refer to. I will just tell you today. From real life, I understand The 'Tao' that came out..." I said, "Speak, I'll listen." He said: "In fact, the reason is very simple. Using an analogy, now you answer me-how much is one?" I said, "One is one!" He said: "What if no one believes that one is one now? Can you put it differently?" I thought for a while and answered him: "That is to say, it is twice of 0.5, 2 one-half." He encouraged: "Yes! It seems that you are not too stupid. One is one, this is undoubtedly the truth. It is the most concise truth. But in many aspects of society, almost all aspects, it is just the most concise truth. The words have become words that no one believes. So, if you say one thing is one thing, how much do you actually have to say?" I said: "2 times 0.5!" He shook his head: "It's not concise to say that. The concise statement should be 2." "2?" "2! Now, let's make a further analogy—you are talking about business with me, and I naturally have to ask how much capital you have. You have a million, how do you tell me?" "Two million! I have two million!" "Correct! As for me, when I heard it, I didn't believe it. I thought you were lying. Deceitful. Seeing that you are honest, I guess you will tell a big lie. Use the 'reasonable lie limit' analysis, that is, put your words Divide it in half—one half of the truth, one half of the lie, then divide the two million you said by two, and I come to a judgment—in fact, you only have one million capital. This is not It means that you are lying to me. Because no matter what you tell me, I will not believe you anyway. It is necessary to use the "reasonable limit of lies" to analyze your words. It is useless to tell the truth. Frankly speaking, it will also lead me to a wrong judgment. The result is that you tell the truth, but it will make both of us fall into the misunderstanding of lies. For example, if you tell the truth that you have a million dollars, of course I still don’t believe it, or If you use the 'reasonable limit of lies' to analyze your words, it is estimated that half of your words are watery. Well, then I will divide the one million you told the truth by 2, and the result is that you are only fifty Ten thousand. As a result, the two of us might have made a business, but because I think you have less capital, you didn't make it. Who do you blame for this?" I said, "blame me." He said: "Of course I blame you. There is a story in "Qing Zhai" called "Ma Jun Drifting the Sea", remember?" I recalled it for a moment and said I remembered it.The scholar Ma Jun drifted to an island country.People there regard black faces as beautiful and fair faces as ugly.Everyone thinks the scholar Ma Jun is extremely ugly, ugly like a monster.He had no choice but to "do as the Romans do", and since then he has painted his face black with charcoal every day... Ziqing said: "Nowadays, we ordinary Chinese are facing the same predicament in terms of language and written expression as Ma Jun's. The truth is dead. The absolute truth can only lead to absolute falsehood. As a result, advocacy, praise, commendation, encouragement, and even heavy rewards are meaningless. The speaker has long been used to telling lies, and the listener has long been accustomed to listening to lies. It is also false. If you are used to the phenomenon, there is no inconvenience or fear. However, without a relatively true standard, it is difficult for people to carry out political, economic, cultural, and even social activities. What should I do? ?Need to have a basic formula. It is summed up by me. I call it 'Zhai's Double Method Truth Extraction Formula'. Now I will ask you again - you have two million, in order to convince me that you have two Millions, how did you tell me!" I opened my mouth and replied without thinking: "Four million!" Ziqing said, "That's right!" He finished and tossed me a cigarette. I laughed, thinking that I might not be that stupid. "Some newspapers say that Beijing's per capita income is 500 yuan per month. What data should you draw from it that is close to the truth?" "Two hundred and five!" "good very good!" I said, "Try me again!" So he said again: "Assuming that this year is not 1994, but 1990, how do you understand that we Chinese will achieve a moderately prosperous life by the end of this century?" "Ten years times two, at least twenty years later!" "A certain newspaper published statistics on ten aspects to show that Guotai Minkang, production is booming, and the situation is very good. What do you think?" "Every number must be divided by at least two!" "I also published statistics on ten aspects to show that everyone knows in their hearts that some facts that everyone is worried about are not unfounded. What do you think?" "Multiply every number by at least two!" "Why both multiply by two or divide by two?" "Because two, the multiplier or divisor, can be regarded as the 'reasonable limit' of lies, which can purify the truth from the lies!" "Hmm, um, very good. You have mastered the 'Tao' I mentioned. In the future, you, a writer, will not be confused when faced with various realities in China, and you will not be able to follow others' advice and help you invisibly make lies. Already!" Ziqing nodded, expressing satisfaction.It includes both satisfaction with my comprehension ability and satisfaction with his own persuasive power of explanation. And I, like a candidate, finally finished the interview and defense, guessed from the satisfied expression of the tutor that I was going smoothly, and felt relieved. At this time, Ziqing's mother followed, pointing to the fish tank and talking to me: "Just talk about the fish I raised, I liked them at first! I have lived to be more than seventy years old, where have I seen such beautiful fish before?" All kinds of fish! My favorite is the 'traffic lights'. When the lights are turned off at night, the fishes will glow brightly. Pieces of red light swim through the water, and pieces of green light swim from the water, like It looks like a western scene before liberation. The old sisters upstairs and downstairs also love to come and watch with me..." "mother!……" Ziqing frowned, and stopped the old man from speaking unhappily. But the old man seemed quite stubborn that day, and continued to expose his son's shortcomings: "The big fish later gave birth to many small fish, and there were too many of them! Hurry up and fish out. If you catch it too late, you may be swallowed by other big fish. In a small fish tank, in a basin, in a barrel, in a bottle, you can’t catch it all! I’m so happy! It’s not right to be rich. Is there a fish? I asked all the old sisters upstairs and downstairs to watch, and they were all happy for us, with smiles on their faces. While I and others are happy If they are happy, I will distribute them. Ten for this family, twenty for that family. There are many, and there is no shortage of them. Isn’t there an old saying in our China?——'If you worry about yourself, you are happy about your neighbors Le'. When your mother and I were young, our parents taught us this way all day long. What do you mean? That is to say, if you have troubles in your own family, you should try your best to keep it in your stomach. Worry in your own house if you want to worry. Don't disturb the neighbors, as if everyone should worry with you. But if there is any happy event in your family, you can't hide it from the neighbors and stay alone in your own house. I’m happy alone. I want to share some joy with my neighbors, so that they will be happy with you. My old sisters were all happy at that time. They all felt that I gave them less. They all competed Yes! He also joked: "We also shared a little bit of joy in her family, and hope that some lucky things will happen to Zhanguang this year!" It's full of excitement, and Ziqing is back. Guess what happened to him? In front of all my old sisters, he scolded me with a different nose and face: "Don't divide it up, don't divide it up! Why don't you ask me if I should divide it? Let it go, let it go, let it all go." No one is allowed to take it away! Not even one piece of it is allowed to be taken away!' My old sisters put it down without a word. Where is the face of being a mother? Nowadays, none of my old sisters come to our house to watch fish. As for me, I am no longer ashamed to visit their house! I can still go to their house with a thick face Drop by?..." I said: "Ziqing, what you did in this matter is really wrong! You should admit your mistake to the aunt, and admit your mistake now!" Ziqing blushed and muttered: "Don't just listen to my mother's side! You don't understand, those small fish species are quite expensive. You can buy a big goldfish, but you can't buy a small fry that just gave birth. Son. Don’t look at newborns, but you can sell them in the fish market for a few yuan! My mother didn’t divide the fish at that time, she was dividing the money! In these days, who distributes the money to the neighbors? " "Money! Money! It's about money again!..." - The old man stomped his feet: "Is money the most important thing? It's my same sentence, how much money is enough? You put those Has the little fish turned into money?" - Pointing at his son, he turned his face and said to me: "He is lucky, he hired someone to sell in the market!" Ziqing not only blushed, but also got a little annoyed, and argued angrily, "What if I don't hire someone? I'll go to the fish market to sell it myself! I want money, but I also want fame! Do I have the time? I Can my time be spent on earning a small amount of money?" I stopped and said: "Ziqing, please stop talking! Madam usually has some things in her heart, and she has no place to complain. Today, I am here to give Madam a chance. Let Madam have a good time, okay? Is it right or not? , we are juniors, just listen to it with a smile!..." Ziqing still gave me face, turned her head, and said nothing. The old man went on to say: "As a result, the price he set was too high..." Ziqing shouted: "Not high! What do you know about high prices and low prices?" I also yelled at him: "Ziqing, shut up!" The old man was taken aback, and stomped his feet again: "Not tall? I don't understand! I don't understand anything! I'm so confused! Anyway, it's been ten days or so, and I haven't sold many!..." "That's what people don't know!" The old man was stunned again, and spat at him: "Bah! You know the goods! He hired that person, but he couldn't sell them, and he sent them home! So many, so many, put them in the fish tank and were killed Is it common for fish to eat and put them in basins, buckets and bottles? Besides, I don’t know how to handle them, and within a few days, they all died! Forget about my distress..." The old man glared at Ziqing sullenly, and finally stopped talking... Only then did Ziqing turn to her mother, and asked as calmly as possible, "Mother, are you finished?" The old man said, "I've finished what I want to talk about today." Ziqing said: "Don't expect Xiaoming to come back tomorrow! He is a writer, so he won't come to listen to your rambling every day when he is free!" He looked at his watch, stood up and said to me, "Let's go, let's find a place to eat something..." I said: "It's time for lunch, and my aunt has to eat too! It's not good for my aunt to be alone at home, let's make something to eat?" The old man said: "You go and eat yours, don't worry about me. Ziqing hired someone for me, and he came to cook three meals for me every day, clean up the house..." When I left, the old man held one of my hands with both hands, and said reluctantly, "Xiaosheng, are you free to visit my aunt today? Are you still free?..." "Mom! Are you annoying?..." Ziqing finally lost his temper. "Let's go!..." He went out first. I had no choice but to follow outside.While persuading the old man: "Mother, Ziqing is not a fool. If you don't like what he does, just turn a blind eye and close one eye! Is the saying right? You can't help it!" "If you're free, I'll definitely come see you again! My aunt is always in a panic!..." The old man sent me out, stood at the stairs, and watched me go downstairs... Under my suggestion, we didn't go to any big restaurant that day, but chose a quiet small private restaurant, ordered a few home-cooked dishes, chatted and waited calmly. The proprietress was a woman younger than both of us.Looks like he's in his thirties.Very pretty.The hospitality is also very warm and thoughtful.Look straight at you while listening to you speak.It's as if you are really her God, came to this world incarnate, preaching scriptures to her in person.When she spoke to herself, she laughed before saying anything.A smile reveals a mouthful of neat white teeth.It can be said that the lips are red and the teeth are white.Sure, she knew the charm of her smile.She makes you feel like she's dear to you. Fearing that we would be lonely while waiting for food, she smiled and sent us two books for us to read.What I received was a copy of "The Confucian Man in Black".Written by Liang Yusheng.Looked at two lines.The writing is too vulgar to read.I'm sure that's the product of a tort.I thought to my family, if they read with their own eyes that someone pretended to be his name and wrote such a clumsy thing, their noses would be crooked! I asked Ziqing, "What book is yours?" He showed me the cover—it was a copy of "The God of Maid".He asked, "I want to change it!" I shake my head. he laughed. I laughed too. Just his smile, I seem to feel that Ziqing in the past, the Ziqing in my memory, the poor child who grew up with me on the "dirty street", Ziqing, who was spoken to by all the mothers on the "dirty street" in the past The praised filial son Ziqing seems to be the same as the Zhai Ziqing today, the Zhai Ziqing in reality, the Zhai Ziqing sitting in front of me, the Zhai Ziqing who is called "Brother Hua" or "big money", which makes me want to get closer and at the same time make me I couldn't help but feel that Zhai Ziqing, who was so strange, was finally partly reunited. A man, especially a man, no matter how much he has changed, will always leave some similarities with his past.That could be his laugh.Or maybe it was his crying.Or maybe it's how he looks when he's annoyed, etc.It is from these vague aspects that we actually draw the conclusion that a certain adult was indeed raised from a certain child.Otherwise, the society will add external packaging to a certain person's internal adjustment later, which will make us greatly suspect that all our childhood friends are nothing but dreams produced in our minds. Although he seemed to be smiling every time he looked at me after we finally recognized each other in the luxury private room of that upscale hotel three days ago, it was Zhai Ziqing's kind of smile of "the day after tomorrow".To be precise, it is the smile of a "big money" who is repeatedly called "Brother Hua" by the stars.There was too much in that smile that they all agreed that he resembled that Yankee named "James Stewart" very much. Although he also smiled at me in his house, it was like a host smiling at a guest.At best, it is a sign of welcome, not affection.When laughing, it has the meaning of "I hope you live better than me".Moreover, he clearly knows in his heart that I am afraid that I will never reach his high standard of living in this life... I couldn't help but say something like this: "Ziqing, you still smile like you did when you were a child!" His smile gradually disappeared from his face. He asked: "How,..." I thought about it, and couldn't think of a more accurate answer to him for a while, so I changed the subject and asked, "If you still have some time to read now, what books would you like to read?" He said: "About the biographies of rich people. I have long been rebellious against fictional books. There is a copy of "The Secret History of the Fortunes of Hong Kong and Taiwan's Ten Richest People" being sold at the bookstalls. It is very popular and has been reprinted many times. Have you read it? " I said I haven't seen it. He said he bought a copy.Said it was worth reading.I hope I can also buy a copy for research—he pointed at the "Confucian Man in Black": "I don't even read this kind of book. This kind of book is for migrant workers, small stall owners in farmers' markets, and elevator guards." Ladies, what’s the point of reading it? It’s a waste of time and energy!” ——and then clicked on the “Sensation in Sackcloth”: “This kind of book is also purely printed waste paper. I have studied this kind of book many times. Less. Not reading it. I compared it and studied it. The propaganda is all about the superstition that the rich and the poor are determined by destiny. This book is copied from that book, and that book is copied from this book. Fortunately, I didn’t believe it, so I, Zhai Ziqing, am today..." I looked at him and said, "Ziqing, I should be grateful to you. My love for literature is due to your influence back then." He also looked at me and asked, "Are you telling the truth or irony?" I said of course it was true.Why are you talking ironically? He was silent for a moment, then smiled as before.To be more precise, it was the same smile as before.That kind of smile is very innocent.Very innocent.It seems that something with its own brilliance has just been born from the human heart, and it has not been polluted by our world full of dust, filth, bacteria and viruses. Only innocent girls can laugh like that .And only in novels or in movies and TV.When Ziqing smiled like that, she was a bit feminine.That can be considered a "back to basics" smile.I often feel that our people today have modernized even their laughter.It all has the meaning of "post-industrial".It seems to be borrowed from the industrial assembly line or from the computer to the human face.Regardless of gender, it is impossible to smile innocently since the age of seventeen or eighteen.It seems impossible until death... 子卿说：“首先靠的是你的天份。当年，两个中学生，两个半大孩子，哪儿能谈得上谁影响谁啊！……” 他将“影响”二字，说出几分强调的意味儿。仿佛他并不情愿承认。而当年的他的确影响过当年的我，尽管那可能并非是他的愿望。但那是一个事实。我不明白他为什么想要否认那样一个事实。 先上来了一盘冷菜。他端起了啤酒。我觉得他在透过杯中泛着微小气泡的橙黄色的液体，胸有什么城府地审视着我。 我也端起酒杯，和他的杯碰了一下，同时肯定地说：“能……” 他向我摇了摇头：“那不过是你的主观结论罢了。” 我们彼此对视着，各自无声而饮。 放下杯，我又说：“你忘了？你当年曾对我讲过这样一个寓言——有两个人，一个人一门心思挣钱，另一个人一门心思写作。后来一门心思挣钱的人，用他挣的钱盖了一座大厦，而一门心思写作的那个人，呕心沥血，写成了一部书。几个世纪过去了，大厦倒塌了，而书流传下来了……” 他说：“我讲过的吗？” 我说：“你讲过的。” 他说：“我不记得了，一点儿都不记得了。” 他说得那么庄重，甚至有些庄严。 我说：“我记得。” 他试探地问：“你后悔了吧？” I startled. 他说：“当年最想成为作家，也最有希望成为作家的是我，而如今我成了一个整天在钱堆里打滚儿的人，你却成了作家……” 我说：“你可以出来。” 他睥睨着我，似乎很困惑地问：“从哪儿出来？” 我说：“从钱堆里出来。如果你并不喜欢整天在钱堆里打滚儿的话。” “想拯救我？” He laughed again.已不复再是当年那种笑。而是三天前在大饭店的豪华单间里那种笑了。 他仿佛又变成了“华哥”。 I laughed too.也反问：“子卿，你觉得如今你还需要谁来拯救吗？” 他饮了一口酒，旋转着手中的杯，岔开话题说：“先不谈我了。先谈谈你自己吧。终年爬格子，卖文为生，你不至于认为我应该对你负什么责任吧？” 我说：“不。” 我回答得也很庄重。也庄重得近乎庄严。 他又透过酒杯研究我。 我说：“我明白了。” 他问：“明白了什么？” 我说：“你是不是挺怜悯我的？是不是还因为我成了作家，觉得挺内疚的？怪对不起我？” 他诚实地回答：“是的。” 我低声然而含有抗议意味儿地说：“其实大可不必。正像你并不觉得整日在钱堆里打滚儿很不幸，我也并不觉得终年爬格子很不幸。我可没产生什么想拯救你的念头，你也犯不着产生想拯救我的念头。” 我隐隐感到自己受了伤害。这伤害很轻微。如果我不是一个过分敏感的人，也可以认为它并没有构成。但我是一个敏感的人。 于是我又说：“子卿，在你面前，我丝毫也不觉得自己有什么值得你同情和怜悯的。我的心理也不至于失去平衡。我选择的乃是我适应的高兴的活法。让我再重新选择一次，也许我还会心甘情愿地选择写作生涯。子卿，我并不嫉妒你有二百多万，真的……” 其实我最嫉妒他的，正是他有二百多万这一点。 "real?" "real." “二百多万实际上是多少？” "one million." “考考你。怕你又忘了我教你的'真话提取公式'！” 我们互相凝视着，忍俊不禁的，忽然都大笑起来。 这其间老板娘一盘一盘地为我们上全了菜。 我有些饿了，抓起筷子，不谦不让地吃起来。 子卿默默陪我吃了片刻，放下筷子，吸着了一支烟。 “如果让我重新讲你说我当年对你讲过的那个寓言，”他以一种深思熟虑的口吻说：“我将这样来讲——几个世纪过去了，不，不需要几个世纪的漫长时间来证明，几年就可以了——一幢大厦拔地而起。它的建筑材料是现代的。建筑工艺是一流的。外观十分壮丽。它不是那么容易倒塌的。它能使人联想到'永恒'这个词。几个世纪后，它肯定依然存在着。它成了一种文化。成了古迹。而那个一门心思写书的人，当他的书完成后，则须四处写信推荐自己的书。四处找门路请求出版社出他的书。而他的书并不像他们自信和以为的那样经久流传。甚至根本就不可能流传。在书店的书柜上摆着，淹没在千百种的书的海洋中削价处理也无人问津。最后被书店当废纸从书库里清除了。而在书摊上摆着的，封面积落着马路上的尘土，留下了一些翻过它的肮脏的指印……” 我听着听着，也不由得放下了筷子。 我说：“那是写的不好的书。正如偷工减料盖起来的楼。难道这城市里的每一幢楼都很壮丽吗？” 他递给我一支烟，并伸过按着的打火机。看着我吸了两口烟后，又说：“不好的楼，也是楼。只要没险情，就可以住人。起码可以当仓库。而不好的书，除了送回纸厂重新打成纸浆，还能干什么用？在我家里，你可能也发现了，凡是你写的书，我差不多买全了。而且都认真读过。我不敢武断地说你的书都一点儿价值也没有。但你以为它们会传世吗？……” 我不禁面露愧色，无言以答。 “我反过来问你，情况好又怎么样？印一百万册，够多的了吧？开座谈会，评论文章见报，改编成影视，又怎么样？那不就是一年内的热闹吗？而今天，凡是能印一百万册的，不塞入大量媚俗的，甚至色情的，下流的，肮脏的，用你们的话叫作'自然主义的人性描写'的内容，岂非天方夜谭吗？海明威以后，世界上又评出了那么多诺贝尔文学奖获奖作家，你是搞文学的，你又能扳着手指头对我说出几个。今天，此时此刻，在这个地球上，哪儿在上演着莎士比亚的戏剧？谁在读雨果或巴尔扎克的小说？有几个法国的年轻人知道乔治·桑是谁？又有多少儿童还在喜欢听安徒生或格林兄弟的童话故事？谁还真的需要什么文学。一个现代人手捧一本小说在看的情形，你真的不觉得那是十分滑稽可笑的情形吗？比一头猩猩坐在电影院里看电影还滑稽可笑！……” 我冷笑道：“你还可以顺着这样的思路发展下去——那个一门心思写书的人，比如就是我，终于无法靠出卖文字养家糊口了，于是不得不去找那个一门心思挣钱并盖起了一幢壮丽大厦的人，请求他周济自己。好比他就是你。你念及过去的友情，大发慈悲，收留了我。让我当一名看电梯的员工，或者司门人。而我呢，发誓再也不对这世界上的任何人讲你当年曾给我讲过的那个寓言了……” 我说完，默默望着他。 他也望着我。 他问：“生气了？” I said, "No." 我打定主意，吃完，拍拍肩，握握手，就告别。我当然并没生气。我知道他今天抽出他十分宝贵的时间，绝非是为了有机会当面嘲笑和挖苦我。即使他认为当年我也是一个伤害过他的人，二十多年了，他也不会耿耿于怀，以这么一种方式报复我的。我只不过觉得他变的太古怪罢了。古怪得我感到无法和他交流情感。我暗想，由穷而富了的人，尤其是由穷而富了的中国人，比如子卿这样的“大款”，也许是差不多都要变得古里古怪的吧？难道普遍的中国人，在他们眼里，都是些活得迂腐，活得窝囊，活得不开窍，活得有几分可怜亦可笑可悲之人吗？大概还有几分可鄙吧？ 子卿塞了牙，向老板娘要牙签儿。老板娘转入柜台，大方地取了一袋放在我们桌角。 子卿拿起看看，问：“地摊儿上买的吧？” 老板娘倏地红了脸，大摇其头，说保证不是。 子卿说：“老板娘，这骗不了我。塑料袋儿上连个字都没有，肯定是地摊儿上买的无疑。地摊儿上卖的牙签是不消毒的。提供给顾客用，太不卫生。” 老板娘喏喏连声。 子卿又说：“就算我给你提个建议，以后再不要买地摊儿上的牙签儿。谁会用过了这一端，再反过来用那一端剔？这种两端尖的牙签，除了中国，大概在世界上哪一个国家也见不着。这是典型的旧中国农民心理的体现。似乎什么东西都要省着用。老板娘你以后要买那种一端尖的。记住没有？” 老板娘赶紧说记住了记住了。 子卿又诲人不倦地说：“工艺品小店里就有卖。顾客吃到一半儿的时候，要主动送上来。每客一包。人家走时，也值得随手儿带走。我可不是在找你茬儿。我这个人，对牙签儿也没那么多讲究。有时削尖一根火柴杆儿，也剔。我是在教你怎么样挣钱啊！” 老板娘嗫嚅地问：“那样的，多少钱一袋啊？” 他说：“不贵，才一元多。” 老板娘咂舌道：“那还不贵呀？如果十个人吃一桌，一人一袋儿，还兴带走，我们不就等于搭上十元钱吗？我们不过是一家私人小店，哪儿经得起那么做呀！” 子卿拉过一把椅子，指着对老板娘说：“坐下！” 老板娘犹豫片刻，自忖他不至于有什么越轨企图后，老老实实地坐下了。 从厨房朝外递菜的小窗口，探出一颗戴着肮脏的白帽子的男人的脑袋，朝我们瞪着。从那种虎视眈眈的劲儿，我得出判断必是老板娘的丈夫无疑。 我在桌下暗踢子卿的腿。他却理也不理我。 他说：“老板娘，你也真死心眼儿，羊毛出在羊身上嘛！假如十个人吃一桌，菜盘上刮下十元钱谁看得出来？而对于来吃过饭的人，也许就因为那一元多钱的牙签儿，下次还来，你的'回头客'不就多了吗？人们并非都贪图你那一袋儿牙签儿。人们找的是一种感觉……” 老板娘的丈夫，从厨房转出来了，双肘支在柜台上，两只油腻的大手托着下巴颏，旁听生似的听着。 子卿又问老板娘：“就我们两个顾客，方才干吗不主动陪我们说几句话？” 老板娘又红了脸，讷讷地说没这习惯。 “要养成这习惯。”——子卿耐心可嘉地启发：“这叫感情竞争。没有这点儿竞争意识，生意能兴旺吗？” 老板娘想了想，似乎茅塞顿开，连说多谢指教之类的话。并回头大声吩咐她丈夫：“还愣在那儿干什么？再给加一道拔丝土豆！”——又笑容可掬地对子卿说：“大哥，最后这道菜，算我们敬您的！” 子卿摆摆手：“那倒不必。” 说罢，捻出一根牙签。而那一袋儿，大大方方地揣入了西服上衣兜。 吃着拔丝土豆的时候，子卿又说：“现在的中国，遍地都是钱，哪儿还用到外国去挣？你知道我走在路上有种什么样的感觉？脚下软绵绵的，钱铺得比三层地毯还厚。在这个地球上可能再也没有比赚中国人钱容易的事了。所以连外国人都忙不迭地到中国来赚钱！对全世界而言，想赚大钱不到中国来还能到哪去？这也许是上帝提供给外国人的最后一次赚大钱的机会了。这个机会肯定到本世纪末就为止了。” 我问：“那么对于咱们中国人而言呢？” 他反问：“电影《金光大道》，当年你一定看过的吧？” 我说：“看过。” 他说：“那里有一句话——谁发家，谁光荣，谁受穷，谁狗熊。现在的中国，正是这么样的一个中国。现在的时代，正是这么样的一个时代。”他向我伸出三根指头，加重了语气：“三年。我的看法，今后三年，对每一个中国人来说，是至关重要的三年。三年内发的，那就算发了。发不了的，那就算错过机会了。而且，可能意味着永远的错过机会了。因为，前几年发财，只有一条规则——那就是，不必讲规则。无所谓犯规。什么叫犯规？没被'裁判'发现，那就是没有犯规。被发现了，那是运气不好，算你倒霉。何况'裁判员'的黄牌红牌，该对你举起来的时候，因为你把他'搞活'了，也可以对你的犯规睁一只眼闭一只眼，视而不见。不得以而为之的时候，该对你举起红牌，也可以只对你举起黄牌。该对你举黄牌，也许仅仅罚你'点球'。现在情况略有不同了。开始由无规则而有些规则了。” 不是所有的人都有机会白听一位“大款”给你上这么一堂课的。我竟听得有些入迷了。 “那将意味着，个人积累财富的限制严密了，严格了。机会减少了，变得更加宝贵了。做法也不得不瞻前顾后，谨小慎微了。没有规则的机会摆在眼前的时候，普遍的老百姓是没胆量伸手一把抓住的。怕是陷阱。怕触犯了规则。明明毫无规则，还怕触犯了规则，这多有意思。最后老百姓也动了野心了，也都想参与着'搞活'了。每每就在这时，那规则好像冷不丁地就出现了。在刚出现的那一瞬间，当然照例要抓几只替罪羊，或者坐牢，或者杀头。以正视听。替罪羊绝不会是他们。他们转而又去玩儿别的了，又到别的没有规则的方面去进行'搞活'了。所以，在这三年内，猪往前拱，鸡往后刨，八仙过海，各显神通吧！晓声，这些话，我平时，对别人是不说的。你我不是一般关系。我觉得，我翟子卿有义务点拨你个明白！别他妈爬格子了。别他妈卖文为生了。我知道你勤奋，稿费收入也还凑和。但靠一支笔养家糊口，太迂腐了吧？别他妈当什么作家了！那都是扯淡！活到四十多岁，我算终于悟透了一个道理。你有钱，你不漂亮也漂亮了。你没有风度也有风度了。你没有气质也有气质了。你唱歌不好听也有人替你喝彩了！你的小说是臭狗屎，也能花钱辟专栏大评特评了！也能组织研讨会了！甩出几万元就是了吗！你在电影厂，美国电影一定看过。女演员朱迪·福斯特，为了获影后提名，准备将《好莱坞导报》的有关版面全垄断下来。聘请职业影评家和电影海报画家为她在新片《似是故人来》中的表演进行吹捧。这叫什么？这叫'抬高自己'。有钱你才有资格抬高自己！花钱你才雇得到人抬高你！无独有偶，《纯真年代》的女主演，也不惜一切代价来确保自已被提名，花费了一千多万美元大搞宣传竞争。雇了十九个有才干的评论家，巧妙地，恶意地贬低别的竞争对手。这叫什么？这叫'打击别人'！有钱你就有资格打击别人！有钱你就能雇到别人替你去干你自己不能直接干的事儿！包括杀人！……” “你……你该不会……” 我吃惊不小了。 他一笑，接着说：“放心。我是绝不会花钱雇杀手的。我也没仇深似海的仇人。我讲了这么多，无非是要使你明白——有钱能使鬼推磨！没钱连鬼都可以用鞭子抽着你推磨！请问，这个世界上还有什么其他的东西比金钱的魔力更大？没有。根本没有了！……” 他不容我插话。滔滔不绝。他已经不再动筷子。一只手握着酒杯，一只手握着酒瓶。一边大口大口地喝，一边自己为自己一杯一杯地斟满着。仿佛的，他的那些关于世界，关于中国，关于金钱的思想，不是从他的头脑中产生出来的，而是从酒瓶里随着泡沫产生出来的。只有不停地喝酒，才能不停地论说似的。他的脸已经泛红。我看出了他已醉到五六分的程度。在兵团时，逢年过节，我们免不子了也凑一起喝一回。当年是我喋喋不休，尽叙尽说，而他一个人闷着头独斟独饮。等我没什么话题可说了，他才不其然地说一句。常常出语惊人，见解刁钻，使我目瞪口呆。我没想到他如今变得口若悬河了。也许，他和他老母亲一样，平时也是太缺少向人诉说的机会了吧？ 而我自己也有些醉意醺醺了。 我反驳他：“有的！” “有什么？”——他眯起眼睛凝视着我。当一位哲学家面对一个大傻瓜而傻瓜竟反驳他的时候，哲学家可能就是像子卿当时那么一种样子。 但是我想我不是一个大傻瓜。他那一种凝视的目光使我恼火。使我的自尊心大受刺激。而一个自尊心敏感之人，半醉不醉的情况下，自尊心是更不可侵犯的。 我说：“你也听着，听我给你朗诵一首诗！” “诗？哈，哈，朗诵诗！……” 若不是在饭馆里，而是在他自己家里，我想他当时一定会大笑起来的。 “你必须听！”——我轻轻拍了下桌子，饮了半杯啤酒润润嗓子，便低声对他“朗诵”： 比金子更有魔力的 那一定是珠宝 比珠宝更有魔力的 那一定是钻石 比钻石更有魔力的 那就只有女人了 与美妙的女人相比 连魔王的魔杖 都不值一提了…… 我“朗诵”时也凝视着他。在我的想象之中，子卿似乎便是一个魔王了。仿佛他正企图用他巨大的魔法迷乱我的心胜，而我“朗诵”那一首诗是解除他的魔法的咒语…… 老板娘斜靠柜台，交抱双臂，笑盈盈地望着我们，如同望着两个争强好胜的大孩子。 子卿缓缓拍手。 我说：“难道不是那样吗？” 他说：“诗倒不赖。但结论是弱智者的谬论。因为美妙的女人本身就是这世界上最为昂贵的一种东西。是金子、珠宝和钻石混合成的物质。美妙的女人在一切物质之上，所以你必须用比她们本身造价更高的金钱才能收买她们的芳心。加上这一层意思，才不失为一首起码自圆其说的诗。请问在如今的世界上，你还能找到一个又美妙又对自己之美妙的价值浑然不知的傻女人吗？你有多少私有财产？哪怕你仅有一千万，你在本市登一则征婚广告试试看，全市美妙的女人非整天包围着你吵吵嚷嚷发誓非嫁给你不可！结了婚的也随时准备为你离婚甚至谋杀亲夫！待价而沽并非她们的可悲之处，在这一点上像你这样的男人们一直在犯着一个严重的错误！一直不明白没有人出得起比她们本身的价值高十倍百倍的价格买断她们，才是她们最大的可悲之处，才是她们觉得最失望、最沮丧和最不幸的事！……”