Chapter 5 chapter Five

The days are very ordinary, but gradually there is a pattern, and the life is quite smooth.Li Huiquan has made great progress in housework, stir-fried dishes well, and made fancy noodles.The "People's Cookbook" he bought at the bookstall has been turned dirty.Oil pips splashed from the first page to the last.He ordered himself a bottle of milk to drink before going to bed at night.He learned from the "Digest" that it would be more nutritious than drinking it in the morning.He often buys newspapers to read.From "Football" to "The Big Thousand World", you can watch whatever you buy.Sometimes he also bought a copy of "People's Daily" to read.He is familiar with this newspaper.When he was in the labor camp, he could "hear" it every day, and the class took turns reading it aloud for one hour a day.He has nothing against it, but at least ninety percent of the articles do not interest him.He likes to watch news about sports or the law. The eighth edition of "People's Daily" costs 10 cents. The printing and paper are good. While waiting for someone to buy goods at the Dongdaqiao stall, he flipped through it. He is very comfortable doing this. What aspects does he think he has Well worth affirming.Back in his small courtyard, his reading materials were pamphlets such as "Selected Legal Cases". For some reason, he liked to read stories about girls being deceived, rape cases or gang rape cases.He was emotionally tired from reading too much and seemed dissatisfied with himself.He has many of these pamphlets under his pillow, and he doesn't want others to see them.

He runs every morning, running around the fence of Ritan Park and half a circle, and then eats pancakes and drinks soy milk for breakfast. When he returns home, he often meets Uncle Luo who goes fishing at Lishui Bridge or Xiba. The old man is full of energy every time he sets off.He made many wishes to Huiquan to catch a red carp.He often catches fatheads or silver carp, and sometimes he can't catch anything. If he catches too much, he will send one to Huiquan and let the young man cook it for himself.Huiquan's braised fish is getting better and better.Wine and sugar are placed in a very reasonable manner.Sometimes he has to wonder why Uncle Luo is so addicted.What he often thinks is that fishing may be very interesting, more interesting than setting up a stall. He can't tell how he feels when he pushes three rounds to go out every day. Sometimes he feels boring and doesn't want to move, and sometimes he feels relaxed. I earn more during the day than I earn, and I am always in a bad mood when I push the cart home in the evening.It seems like this situation will never change.

He felt that the two small bungalows left by his mother were getting more and more empty, and the quietness before going to bed became more and more unbearable.Life goes on day after day, today and yesterday, tomorrow and today, and it is difficult to make a pleasant difference.He sold a dress to a girl at nine o'clock one day, and another to a stranger at nine o'clock the next day.The profits other than the wholesale price can be large or small, maybe enough to buy a bowl of noodles, or maybe enough to buy a roast duck.As soon as he lets go, the little things that have been earned hard or carelessly will leave him.He always felt that what he did was insignificant, as if there were more important things waiting for him in life.What exactly it was, he couldn't tell, but he read a message in the evening paper, and he went to the concert hall in the middle of the night to queue up and listen to a symphony for two dollars and five dollars.At first he felt that he was the only phony, and Jill felt that all the audience were phony, shaking their heads while being tortured, and he didn't want to bear it anymore.He has been to the art gallery twice.He walked in front of various paintings, and when he was tired, he sat on the sofa in the lounge and smoked.He spends more time smoking than looking at paintings, and what he sees in and out of paintings is both enviable and discouraging.He was generous when he bought exhibition materials and picture albums. He walked around the exhibition hall wearing a windbreaker that he bought for more than 80 yuan each, with a melancholy expression that looked very cultivated.He turned a blind eye in front of the bright canvas, there was no lust in his eyes when he stared at the face of a certain beautiful girl, his thoughts were chaotic, but there was only one core: Is life interesting.

Already twenty-five years old, turn it over to be fifty, and turn it over again to be seventy-five years old.Time is like lightning, and sometimes he suddenly wakes up and realizes that his life is drawing to a close, as if tomorrow he will no longer exist: no matter what he does today, it will be too late, at such moments, life cannot show him any meaning, he feels Feeling weak.He could feel the emptiness and melancholy in his body, and this feeling, together with a vague idea of ​​self-defeating, made him feel pity for himself. He doesn't want to socialize with people.Luo Xiaofen came back from watching the ice lanterns in Harbin and greeted him in the yard. He was very indifferent to everyone.At that time, he pushed the tricycle into the yard, Luo Xiaofen was collecting water from the tap water pipe, and a slender and handsome Ru Ye was behind her.

He guessed that this person was her fiancé. He was full of hatred for his broken three rounds, his cotton coat, and his hot face.He greeted her briefly, and when she was about to introduce her boyfriend by the way, he had already pushed Sanlun into the lane.He had nothing to say to her.She is a graduate student, and he is a stall owner hawking on the street and a hooligan who was released from reeducation through labor.She talked to him on the surface, but she despised him deeply in her heart, and he couldn't bear the thought of it.He didn't even notice the subtle changes in Luo Xiaofen's face, he just felt that she was plumper than before.The little girl with withered yellow braids standing beside the school playground and crying, waiting for others to comfort her, no longer exists.The graduate student in front of her appeared to satirize and ridicule him, and even the handsome boyfriend behind her was a humiliation arranged by life for him to make him feel ashamed.He resisted with indifference.The loss of manners may be more in line with his status in the eyes of others.Except for Aunt Luo and Uncle Luo, he felt that it was impossible for him to make a good impression on others.He always seems to be in a pre-fight brooding state.He knew what a fierce look his face had.He hung it over his face like a shield, and only took it off when he was back in his little backyard.

In early April, Fang Chazi sent him a letter from Qinghai.The letter must have been written by myself, the handwriting is very bad, and I can't say anything clearly.It is impossible to judge from the text whether he is in a happy or sad mood now, and the few dry words have no emotion.Even so, after Li Huiquan read this letter many times, he still experienced a rare warmth.The friend didn’t care about anything else, but struggled to briefly describe the conflict between the prisoners in Beijing and the prisoners in Hubei. The friend either didn’t have anything to write, or he couldn’t find the words to write, so he wrote a sentence at the end of the letter:

"Eat well and stay in good health!" I don't know if it is self-encouragement or a blessing to the recipient.Eating well means eating well.Li Huiquan understood what his friend said very well.He had always eaten well since he came out, and he almost wanted to write back immediately to explain this to his friends.He is eager to communicate, and the person he chooses to communicate with is either in a different place or does not exist at all.Sometimes he looked at the portrait of his mother in a trance, and the desire to say something to himself made him excited and surprised.He once performed scandalous things in his dream, and the person he had sex with had a blurry face but a clear figure, which made him forget the ravings even after he woke up.The hallucinations make people free and relaxed. Sometimes, he even feels that running every morning, standing during the day, drinking milk at night, etc. are all part of the hallucination.He wants everything to become an illusion, thereby eliminating all worries and discomforts.He knew he couldn't do it, but maybe he would do it in the future, happiness wouldn't really have no fate with him, could it?But what is happiness?

He thought that should at least mean some change in his life.It's too rigid, or, he's too rigid.His life is a mirror of himself, and it is no longer clear who makes who and who hinders.He listened to concerts, went to art exhibitions, and when he was very lonely, he went to the Pigeon Market in Xicheng and almost bought a group of white pigeons.None of this worked.When life refuses to change, human efforts are in vain.Something might happen tomorrow, but that won't be until tomorrow.Tomorrow is a lot.Few are those who enjoy themselves and are patient. He met Ma Yifu twice more.Once in a coffee shop, once at a stall in Dongdaqiao, neither time did I see the fat girl.According to Ma Yifu, it's a bit dangerous, the girl thinks he spends too much money and doesn't look like a living person.

"It's okay to be shy, don't you think it's generous? Drink a few cups of coffee... buy a few more ties... Is this also called generous? I'm poor enough!" Ma Yifu was very wronged, but Li Huiquan could tell that his words were not credible.If he was in the position of a fat girl, he would have to hesitate a bit whether he wanted someone like Brush Xiang, being generous or not was just an excuse. When we met at the stall, Ma Yifu mentioned that the person surnamed Cui had inquired about his business. "Why did he inquire about me?" Huiquan asked. "I don't understand, I won't cheat you, you have no grievances with him..."

"Is the boy authentic?" "It's hard to say, it's hard to see through." "Brush, don't lie to me. I know you know him. If you want to tell the truth, tell it. If you don't want to tell the truth, leave!" "I really don't know him well! Otherwise, I wouldn't know what his name is? Cui is not an ordinary player. I don't think it's a bad thing for him to ask you. Why don't you pay him if you can? One more friend and one more way What!" "Don't blame me for being unfriendly if you want to play cat with me. I've seen everybody."

"What's the rush? What's the rush...you don't know who I am? To be honest, I met him on the dance floor of the cultural center a few years ago, and I don't know his name until now. But, he asked me to help To get silver dollars, I scraped together twenty or so dollars for him, and got some foreign exchange certificates. Afterwards, he pretended not to know me, and no one mentioned this matter. See, I want to have sex with him, you take a rolling pin I don’t hide from beating me up. The surname is Cui Ziguang, getting acquainted with him will be good for your business..." "Why did he ask me?" "He asked you why you committed the crime, and I told him about it. His tone seemed to admire you, and he wanted to talk to you...I haven't heard what to talk about!" "Has he been to a café lately?" "I haven't seen you for more than a week. I guess he might be out of town. He's going out every three days, so he's going abroad! As long as he comes back, he will definitely go to a cafe." "why?" "The cafe wants to hire a singing actress, and the one surnamed Cui has been watching! To tell you the truth, he took a beautiful girl almost every day during the dance, and he didn't bring heavy-duty girls. Now he is more disciplined, maybe because he is afraid Something happened, but the boy is pretty, always asking when the actress will come..." "Brush, why do you know everything? What have you told others about me?" "You really don't know me? I don't know me? I don't do things that are sorry for my friends. If you are not interested, I will let you down. If you are interested, I will introduce you. This is good for you. I am not as lazy as you when doing business." "Why are you bothering so much. Just mind yourself and don't mess with me!" Li Huiquan satirized him, and picked a white gauze scarf from the stall and handed it over to his girlfriend. Ma Yifu was not very happy at first, but he became embarrassed when he saw the gauze scarf. He hesitated to mention the pair of sneakers last time. , Huiquan glared at him - and he didn't say anything. Li Huiquan doesn't have many friends.But none of his friends did not regard him as the most righteous man in the world.It's Li Dabangzi's usual behavior to stab his friends in both sides, but his mind is not as open-minded as his behavior.He looked down on Ma Yifu, he felt that this person was beyond hope.He felt sorry for that reserved fat girl, no matter how accustomed he was to demeaning himself, he still felt that he was better than people like brushes. Maybe the white gauze scarf expressed a kind of indirect comfort?He couldn't figure it out himself. On the last Saturday in April, Li Huiquan went to the Kakuang shop alone to kill time after nine o'clock in the evening. Ma Yifu was not there. His financial conditions deteriorated before the end of the month, and the jeep company paid salary on the fifth of every month.Before that day, Li Huiquan would not even want to see him. The person surnamed Cui was there, and his bearded king was facing the small door of the business hall. Li Huiquan saw him as soon as he entered. He had a beard like Engels. place. Li Huiquan sat down.I didn't know what to say for a long time.The bottle of Grande Champagne on the small table had bottomed out, and two wet lips were exposed under the beard. He handed Huiquan a cigarette. "Your name?" "My last name is Li. How about you?" "My name is Cui." "My name is Li Huiquan." "...would you like grand champagne or brandy?" "I want it myself." Li Huiquan ordered a Bavarian ham and a large glass of brandy.He got up nonchalantly.He is not good at dealing with such people.In the past, when making appointments and making peace, others would show up, and he rarely intervened.People want his, what he can give, only action, violent action!Now he can't figure out the other party's intentions.Do you want him to help deal with an enemy?Not much. "It's hard enough inside, right? Three years is not short..." "It's okay. You haven't been hurt?" "I'm lucky. Besides, I only choose safe things to do, and I won't go with myself!" People speak in low voices.The whiskers made a casual look.The speaker played a slow piece of music with a monotonous and low melody.No one goes up to sing about it. If you do too much and watch too much, you will inevitably get bored. "Are you from No. 68 High School?" "yes." "Do you know Lao Maozi?" "I've heard of it." Lao Maozi was shot in the year of the earthquake.He is several years higher than Huiquan.Huiquan didn't see this old schoolmate who did the wrong thing at the wrong time and the wrong place.This person was caught when he pried the insurance company in the finance department of the knitting factory.He probably never dreamed that he would die.At that time, the earthquake had just passed more than ten hours, and Lao Maozi was the butt of many people's jokes, "I know Lao Maozi very well, and we spent the night together. That kid is very clever, but it's a pity that he took a wrong step. He must live safely." A little bit, he must be better than me now." What are you talking about?Li Huiquan thought about it. "My hands are never dirty." "real?" "Blood but not fishy!" "Good job!" "I like to be clean and straight to the point..." Li Huiquan was afraid that the other party would not understand, so he deliberately stared at the red eyes resting on the beard.Those eyes looked at him without blinking. "My name is Li Huiquan. What's your name?" paused for a while.It seems to be waiting for the end of the song. "Cui Yongli. Forever Yong, fame and fortune, what else do you want to ask?...Your eyes are amazing! I drink too much, you go and bring me a cup of coffee, no sugar..." Cui Shuili?Probably a pseudonym. Li Huiquan bought Cui Yongli a cup of coffee.Friends are very alert, but on the surface they appear very affectionate.Some neighbors look at them from time to time.Cui Yongli clinked his glass loudly, as if he was a little drunk. "I've been to your stall. The pants and shoes look miserable. I've been worried. Can you make money?" "Just have something to eat." "I don't believe it, you don't care about money?" "Do I love money and money love me? I have food, cigarettes, pocket money, what else do I want? I can't earn anything else, I have no skills." "I can't tell if I have the ability to stop doing it." Li Huiquan sucked the brandy, not knowing what the words meant, feeling a little impatient. "I'm timid. Three years ago I was fine, but now I can't say anything. I would run away when there was a fight on the street. When I saw the police, my legs were weak... Dude, I'm done with the calculations, I'll make you laugh! I really Nothing." "...You may have misunderstood, I don't mean anything else. I'm more timid than you, and I've never fought with anyone seriously... Do you want canned lychees? How about two plates?" Cui Shuili's expression was flat and mysterious.Li Huiquan shut his mouth, feeling that he had spoken too much.He felt more and more that this person wanted something from him, and he was ready to refuse.He didn't want to hit or be beaten or even do other unclear things.He is not interested in all kinds of stupid things. Cui Yongli didn't say anything anymore.He chatted with the contractor of the cafe for a long time, and there was a car accident near Liulitun not long ago. The contractor was a lean man in his forties with a simple and amiable face, but his eyes were extremely cunning. "Heads rolled like pie!" "I pressed the car bell against my face." The tones of Cui Yongli and the thin man seemed to be very proud. Li Huiquan felt that the salad had a fishy smell, as if it was mixed with transparent or milky white brains.The thin man giggled. When Li Huiquan walked out of the business hall, he greeted Cui Yongli, who was leaning against the window, across a few seats.Cui Yongli did not notice him, drunk but seemingly calmly staring at the air conditioner on the top of the large glass window, as if studying something, but also turning a blind eye.Li Huiquan felt that this face was very old-fashioned, very similar to the middle-aged man nicknamed "Iron Wire" who resold the urns. Li Huiquan couldn't understand what was going on in the head of such a person. Cui Yongli had an instinctive optimism. He was deeply attracted by the bright and colorful colors.If his vigilance cannot be hardened, why do some people always live so relaxed and happy?He couldn't answer. A piece of yellow paper was pasted on the wall of the sales hall outside the cafe, with a notice written in red letters on it.Exclamation points stand out in large and small fonts.Li Huiquan read it twice before he knew what was going on.The third place in Group B of the Amateur Singer Popular Grand Prix of the Municipal Cultural Palace will perform here. Beginning on April 29th, from 8:00 to 10:00 every night for half a month.There's nothing exciting to see, and the exclamation point is a bit of a cryptic one.The number three in the third place may have originally been two, but it was changed reluctantly, and the strokes were very uncoordinated.Maybe not even the third place!The singer's name is Zhao Yaqiu, she is a woman. Café notices call it - a lady.It also goes well with nouns like sandwiches, macaroni, and brandy.Li Huiquan spat.fuck her!he thinks.The person who is called a lady must be very proud, and then she may twist her ass and blow kisses, and treat the people below as fools who are fascinated by her.This kind of women is common in karaoke. They are not singers, they just sing and entertain themselves.But none of them could control the urge to be coquettish.They imitated so many flowers from professional singers, which made the affectation appear more straightforward.They enjoyed the sudden change in their voices while humming. After singing, they couldn't speak smoothly for a long time, as if they burned their tongues and drank too much coffee.They're no more annoying than their TV counterparts, and they're even a little more plain.This is lady! Zhao Yaqiu.Li Huiquan read the name again.The day after tomorrow is the twenty-ninth. He has nothing to do from eight to ten o'clock.He imagined a girl with long hair sighing and kissing the microphone, and there was a sound like a valve core leaking from the speaker, but he decided to come anyway. The twenty-eighth is Sunday.It started to rain lightly before dawn, and Li Huiquan went out for a run. arrive home.The vest and shorts were soaked through.Sneakers were covered in mud.He put on clean clothes.Decided not to sell again.He found out his raincoat and net bag, and prepared to go to the post office and the vegetable market. He wanted to buy some newspapers. It must be comfortable to read in bed on a rainy day. I also want to make the first catty of lean meat stuffing and make lion's head for lunch. I didn't make it last time and it fell apart.This time, put more starch. Aunt Luo came to him with an umbrella.Luo Xiaofen ordered a set of corner sofas at Dongdaqiao Furniture Store and picked up the goods today.Her new home is in Xiaoxitian, which is a dormitory assigned by the man's unit.She held a simple wedding at the school on May 1st and invited Li Huiquan to go no matter what. Aunt Luo talked a lot and was a bit incoherent. Li Huiquan calmly calculated the distance from Dongdaqiao to Xiaoxitian.He thought of rain. "I happen to be fine today, let me pick up the goods for you!" "Xiaofen is waiting at the furniture store. She called just now and asked me to ask if you were there. It's raining so hard...Quanzi, cover the rain so you don't get soaked. Mommy can't help you..." "Where did you say, I can catch this little rain? You find a piece of plastic sheet, and then cover the sofa..." The furniture store was empty.Luo Xiaofen and her fiancé stood under the canopy, they were very happy after seeing him, as if they were greatly relieved.There are several tricycles covered with rain cloth, and the elderly drivers are squatting in front of the furniture store and smoking.The tin canopy made the rain jingle.The rain seemed to be getting heavier and heavier. Li Huiquan parked the car under the awning, wanted to say something but couldn't.Luo Xiaofen is wearing a pink plastic raincoat, and her high-heeled high-waisted rain boots are lavender. A strand of her hair protrudes from the bottom of the rain hat, making the rain wet and oily. Her face is very white and bright I don't know if my lips are painted with lipstick.She whispered to her fiance, and the man immediately took out cigarettes and matches.He feeds Li Huiquan as diligently as he can. Smoking, still silent, he checked the five sofas.One wheel is missing.One of the seat cushions was open, and the sponge was exposed.Luo Xiaofen turned pale with shock, as if she had been deceived so much. He helped the re-selection, appearing very calm, Luo Xiaofen didn't say anything, but kept complaining about her fiancé.There was a strange expression on the fiancé's face. "That's you! Look at what you pick..." "Thanks to Xiao Li!...Let me kick a little bit first?" After the sofa was tied up, the two men had an argument.Li Huiquan felt that Luo Xiaofen was looking forward to saying something.He thought for a while and said: "The gate doesn't work well, and it's troublesome to pass the documents. I'll come...you wait for me at the Normal University." "East gate! On the west side of the road..." Luo Xiaofen's happy expression was so explicit that Li Huiquan blush for her.She must have thought riding a tricycle in the rain was a matter of life and death for her fiancé.She must have thought that the same thing meant a kind of emotional sustenance to Li Huiquan.She was willing to let him help, as if to show that she didn't want to alienate him, and didn't want to see him.Did she feel he should thank her for that? She and her fiancé walked to the bus stop. Li Huiquan kicked a few steps, and a corner of the plastic sheet was raised.He took off his raincoat and blocked the leak.The style of the sofa is very good, but the back is very cold, only a thin piece of floral cloth is nailed.If he gets married, he will never buy something like this.The college teaching assistant is an idiot! Graduate students are dumb!They are willing to spend 600 yuan to buy a set of sofas, but they are unwilling to spend 10 yuan to hire a tricycle.She had the cheek to ask him for help, maybe thinking that she had taken some advantage.This labor force was at his command, free of charge, and could transport the sofa to Xiaoxitian without any complaints, rain or shine: Li Huiquan really wanted to beat himself up. He turned north from the Chaoyangmen overpass and slid up the big slope to the second floor. The slow lane of the ring road. Luo Xiaofen will be a bride in a few days, and she and her husband will be associate professors and professors sooner or later.People change really fast.Everyone was walking on the same path, but for some reason they parted ways. Some went up, while others went down. When I was in the third grade of elementary school.Luo Xiaofen fell into the latrine pit while he was playing with her in the courtyard.The door of the public toilet was open. - A yellow butterfly flew in and landed dazedly on the pile of dirty papers.They tiptoed over, and Luo Xiaofen took the lead at the last moment. She didn't expect the butterfly to jump up suddenly, she quickly grabbed it with her hands, and then screamed, one leg and half of her body slanted into the two-foot-long, two-foot-long butterfly. A latrine about half a foot wide.He heard the filthy things in there puff, and the stench surged up suddenly. Aunt Luo stripped her naked and put her under the tap to rinse.At that time she was taller than him, with a chubby body.He hid in the narrow alley and secretly watched her nervously. He was deeply impressed by the little white buttocks that were slapped red by Aunt Luo's slap.What impressed him the most was Luo Xiaofen's screaming, she seemed to be too ashamed, desperately trying to cover herself with something. "Don't tell anyone!" On the way to school the next day, Luo Xiaofen stared at him sadly and warned him.He nodded and smelled heavily of poop, but he didn't tell anyone.They got along well in elementary school.In middle school, they ignored each other at school, but they still talked in the yard.In high school, he was in the slow class, and she was in the fast class. After that, one of them went to college and the other was unemployed, so he was completely out of touch.It's not what it used to be!If that kind of funny unlucky way can determine a person's fate, Li Huiquan really hoped that it was not Luo Xiaofen who fell into the cesspit that time but himself. He was drenched all over, and the muddy water twisted by the car chain covered both trouser legs.The rain was rushing and sometimes slow, the clouds in the sky were white and gray, and after a while it was dark again. He pedaled hard, feeling that there was an explosion of inexhaustible strength in his body. He hummed "Kamata March".Luo Xiaofen, who was covered in stench and naked buttocks, made him feel soft and uncomfortably soft.This vague memory gave his uncomfortable feeling a kind of tender taste, and he suddenly felt that there was a kind of fragile tacit understanding between himself and women.He felt that they were very pitiful sometimes.So what did they think of him? Li Huiquan rode through Deshengmen in the rain. He played a majestic march with his mouth, but pedestrians walking on the street with umbrellas would not pay attention to him.He was no more attractive than that sofa set.He pitied his childhood girlfriend in his heart, and no woman on the street would give him the slightest sympathy.When he pedaled hard, his butt lifted off the seat, and he put his raincoat on the sofa, but this made him more like a tricycle driver who would do anything to make money.With his prominent cheekbones and thick black lips, he really looks like a calm and ruffian.He felt the rain was a little cool.It is spring rain.