Chapter 13 abandon

When Guo Day woke up one morning at the age of nine, he had to take control of his own destiny.When he was still very far from adulthood, far from being free from his father's control, he suddenly gained independence.The premature freedom made him carry his own destiny like a heavy luggage, staggering on the busy streets without knowing where he was going. My poor classmate was awakened from sleep that morning by a noisy noise.It was early autumn, and the sleepy-eyed child walked to the door in shorts and saw that his father was moving things with several grown men. At the beginning, National Day was very joyful, and he thought he was going to move to a brand new place to live.His joy was very similar to my joy when I left the South Gate, but the reality he faced next was much worse than mine.

My classmate asked my father in a voice as fresh as that morning, if he would move to a white horse with wings everywhere.The usually serious father was not moved by his son's fantasies, on the contrary he was very impatient with his son's absurd ideas. He asked his son to go away and said to him: "Stay out of the way." So Guoqing returned to his bedroom. He was the most sensible of our group of children, but his age at that time could not foresee the future.He enthusiastically sorted out his things, those half-new little clothes, and his collection of nuts, small scissors, plastic pistols, a lot of messy things, but he was able to put them neatly into a in a cardboard box.He carried out his pleasant work amidst the noise, and ran to the door from time to time, proudly watching his father show the strength he admired when he was moving furniture.Then it was his turn, and my classmate was able to move the cardboard box that was about the same size as others.He brushed the wall and moved over bit by bit. He knew that the wall was also a hand, and it was a powerful hand.Although he was exhausted, his eyes looked so proudly at his father who came up from the stairs, but his father said to him coldly:

"You move back." My classmate could only try his best to return in vain. His hair was full of sweat, and after being touched by him, it looked like weeds.At that moment, he may have been a little overwhelmed, and he sat in a small chair and used his limited thinking.No child will think badly about their future, the reality has not trained them that way.During National Day, my thinking was like a ball on the playground bouncing around. Too naughty thinking could hardly be related to my father, so he wanted to go elsewhere.Later he looked beamingly at the sky outside the window.I don't know if he imagined a white horse flying through the air.

He seemed to feel the messy sounds in the house going down the stairs over and over again, but he didn't go further to know that these sounds had been placed on the three carts, so he didn't hear the wheels rolling.By the time his bat-like thoughts stopped, his father had entered his house, and a stark reality stood beside him. National Day did not tell us the details of the original situation, and Liu Xiaoqing and I were still young and ignorant. It was the later facts that made me understand that National Day had been abandoned by his father.I don't like National Day's father not only because he did this kind of thing, this man I have seen many times has a sternness that makes me feel guilty.Now when I look for this image in my memory, I suddenly feel that he is somewhat similar to my imagined grandmother's father.When I met him for the first time, he questioned my origin like an interrogation. When National Day spoke for me, he interrupted my classmate coldly:

"You let him speak for himself." His aggressive gaze made me tremble in my heart.He must have used this look when he walked into the National Day room.But his voice may be calm, and there may even be some tenderness in his voice.He told his son: "I'm going to get married." The next step is to make Guoqing understand the facts in the future. It's very simple. It's impossible for his father to take care of him anymore.My classmate at that time obviously couldn't immediately understand the cruelty, and Guo Qing looked at his father stupidly.After the bastard man left ten yuan and twenty catties of food stamps, he picked up two baskets and went downstairs.Baskets contain the last things to go.My nine-year-old classmate threw himself at the window, squinting his eyes in the sunlight and watching his father walk leisurely.

The initial sadness of National Day started when he walked into the two evacuated rooms. Even then he still didn't think about his father having abandoned him for good, and his tears and cries came from suddenly being faced with an empty room. After he returned to his room, the unspoiled environment gradually calmed him down. He sat on his bed and thought about it.I have been to this room many times and I love the windows there.It was after he found me this afternoon that he really realized his dire situation.At that time, I was cleaning Li Xiuying's precious window glass, and I heard him shouting outside the house.I dare not leave the unfinished window. It was Li Xiuying who couldn't bear the sharp cries of broken glass on National Day. The woman sitting on the bed said to me in pain:

"Go and tell him to shut up." How can I shut up a man who has suffered misfortune?We stood on the stone road outside the house, and the wooden telephone poles behind us made a humming sound.I can't forget his pale face on National Day. He told me what happened in the morning in a disorganized manner, and he didn't even understand it at that time.What I heard was a cloud of impressions flying in like flies, of his father's enormous strength in moving furniture, and going out with baskets.I have no way of knowing which should be first and which should be last.National Day finally came to understand when he was narrating to me. His narration came to an abrupt end. I saw his tears welling up in his eyes, and then he said something that we all understand:

"My father doesn't want me anymore." That afternoon we found Liu Xiaoqing, who was running towards the river with a mop on his back, sweating profusely.The tears of National Day surprised him, and I told him that National Day was thrown away by his father.Liu Xiaoqing was just as baffled as I was not long ago. It was only after my lengthy explanation and nodding on National Day that he knew what was going on.He immediately said: "Find my brother." Looking for the big kid wearing a peaked cap, Liu Xiaoqing's pride at that time was just right.Who wouldn't want to have such a brother?We walked under the window where he was sitting upright, and it was Liu Xiaoqing's turn to tell everything.The older boy with the flute in his hand looked very angry after hearing this, and said:

"It makes no sense." He quickly inserted the flute, turned over and jumped out of the window, waved to us and said: "Let's go and settle accounts with him." The three of us were walking on the wet street, and the trees along the street were drenched with rainwater from the early morning rainstorm.Walking in front of him is a frail big boy. His flute sound is beautiful, but can he beat Guoqing's father?The three of us foolishly followed him, his rage filled us with confidence.He came under a tree covered with rain, and suddenly became thoughtful, but when we also walked under the tree, he immediately raised his leg and kicked the tree violently, and at the same time escaped by himself.The rain fell from the trees one after another, drenching us all over.He went home laughing.

His behavior is disgraceful, otherwise Liu Xiaoqing would not be red-faced.Embarrassed Liu Xiaoqing said to National Day: "Let's go to the teacher." The wet National Day shook his head, wept and said: "I can't find anyone." My classmate went off alone, the bright kid who was able to name all his uncles and aunts.When he got home, he thought of his dead mother's brothers and sisters, so he sat down and wrote to them.His letters were written in pencil, on paper torn from an exercise book.He wrote it clearly more difficult when expressing his difficult situation.His mother's brother and sister all came after a short time, proving that he had expressed everything accurately in the letter.

With the carefulness of his childhood, Guoqing memorized the jobs of all his uncles and aunts, which enabled him to write out eight envelopes.But he didn't know how to send the letter.When he was in the house, he folded eight sheets of paper into eight small squares, and he was always methodical.Then he held them against his chest and walked towards the dark green post office. A young woman sitting in the post office received my classmate. Guo Qing walked up to her timidly and asked her in a pitiful tone: "Auntie, can you teach me to send letters like a teacher?" The woman asked him this way: "Do you have money?" National Day surprised her and took out ten yuan. Although she helped him, she always looked at my classmate like a thief. When the eight brothers and sisters of Guoqing's mother came, they were very grand. They escorted Guoqing to his father with a strong posture.National Day, who was doted on by eight adults, swept away the frowning faces of these days, and walked among them with dignity, turning his head from time to time and shouting to Liu Xiaoqing and me: "Follow us." It was evening, and I was walking with a group of adults. My pride was second only to National Day, and I saw Liu Xiaoqing also showing off his might.Just this afternoon, the National Day announced to us joyously: his father will move back soon. This was the first time I went out in the evening after I came to Sundang. I explained all this to Wang Liqiang when I asked for leave, and Wang Liqiang gratefully allowed me to go out of the house at dusk.He supported me to stand with National Day at this time, but he warned me not to say anything.In fact, Liu Xiaoqing and I couldn't even enter the newlywed house of National Day's father. We could only stand on the dirt outside the house.There are a bunch of small houses in front of us. We are very surprised why the father of the National Day did not live in the building, but lived here. "There's nothing to see here." Both Liu Xiaoqing and I said the same thing.We hear the voices of the eight out-of-town adults, whose urban accents give us the smell of high-rise buildings and blacktop.At this time, two boys who were much younger than us walked over arrogantly and told us to get out of the house unreasonably.We found out later that they are the two precious sons of the father's bride on National Day.We were driven by two much younger boys, which was simply ridiculous.We warned them that it was their turn to leave immediately.So they shot at us with saliva, and Liu Xiaoqing and I went up and punched them each.The two little guys who were strong outside but doing nothing immediately burst into tears, and their reinforcements rushed out of the pile of small houses immediately. It was a woman as chubby as a pig's trotter, and that was their mother.National Day's father's bride spit flying all over the place, and rushed towards her like a ghost, scaring Liu Xiaoqing and me to run away.The woman ran after us, screaming curses in the usual manly language.Shouting to throw us in a cesspit, swearing to hang us from a tree, she described a series of horrific endings to us as she chased.When I was exhausted, I looked back and saw the fat on a fat woman shaking wildly. This scene made my scalp tingle.Such a fat woman can crush us to death even if she presses it down. It wasn't until we had escaped a stone arched bridge that we saw her swearing back as she walked back, probably feeling that it was more important to go to her groom's aid at once.After confirming that she was not ambushing somewhere, Liu Xiaoqing and I trembled and walked back tentatively, just like the scouts in the movie who went deep into the enemy's territory cautiously.It was dark at that time, and we returned to the original place. In the light shining over, we still heard the impassioned voices of the eight brothers and sisters. Why can’t we hear the voice of the National Day father?After a long time we finally heard another voice, the one that was chasing us, and she told them: "Are you here to fight, or to reason. Fighting requires many people, and one person is enough to reason. You all go back to me and send someone tomorrow." Once this vulgar woman speaks, she can actually make her words full of power.She told them to go back with the same pomp as her son told us to fuck off.The eight brothers and sisters from the city were silent for a moment, and then their words flooded out.Liu Xiaoqing and I couldn't understand a word. So many people were talking at the same time, and when it came to our ears, it was like nothing was said.National Day's father spoke at this time, otherwise we would have thought he was not there.The man I really dislike shouted angrily to the eight brothers and sisters: "What's your name? What's your name? You're too irresponsible. You have such a loud voice. How can I behave in society in the future?" "Who is irresponsible?" Then there was an endless quarrel like a collapsed house. It seemed that a few men were going to beat Guo Qing's father, while a few women obstructed them hoarsely.The brothers and sisters of National Day's mother hid in anger and distress. The deadly stubbornness of the newlyweds made them exhausted to explain the truth, but suddenly found that there was no audience at all.They had no way to talk seriously to this pair of men and women.It should be the eldest brother, the leader of the eight decided not to hand over the National Day to them.He said to his father on National Day: "Even if you are willing to raise him, we will never agree. People like you are simply beasts." As the eight adults emerged from there, we heard a mess of breathing.The terrified National Day walked among them, looking at me and Liu Xiaoqing in fear.I heard a man among them say: "How could my sister marry such a person?" Excessive anger made him complain about his dead mother on National Day. On National Day, they assumed the responsibility of raising them. After that, they each sent two yuan to National Day every month.The post office painted in dark green has become the source of wealth on National Day.Several times a month he triumphantly declares to us: "I'm going to the post office." When I first received 16 yuan for living expenses during the National Day, it also made me experience the most extravagant life in my childhood, along with Liu Xiaoqing and several other classmates.We followed the National Day closely, and his mouth always yearned for those candies and olives.He was a generous boy who gave us as much enjoyment as he did.He squandered his little money like a rich young man, and every morning when we walked to school, we all looked forward to his squandering in our hearts.So in the last ten or so days of this month, my classmate was destitute, and he had to rely on our handouts to satisfy his hunger.We couldn't be as grand as he was when he gave us alms, and we started burglarizing at home.Steal a handful of cooked rice, a piece of fish, a piece of meat, a few vegetables.They were all wrapped in dirty paper and given to the National Day.National Day spread them out on his lap, and he ate them with relish, making the chewing sound so loud that we salivated while we were still full.This situation didn't last long. Our teacher, Zhang Qinghai who was knitting a sweater, took away the living expenses for the National Day for safekeeping, and only gave him 50 cents a month for pocket money.Even so, National Day is still the richest among us. After National Day was abandoned by his father, he gradually got used to arranging himself.He never really accepted this fact in his heart, he didn't emulate his father's behavior, and he abandoned his father.On the contrary, his father still controls him as in the past. Our teacher may often forget the status quo of National Day, and he still uses this method of reporting to his father to make National Day, who has done something wrong, terrified.At that time, my classmate didn't even think that he was already free, but felt uneasy for no reason.To him, his father still seemed to be watching him all the time. On the other hand, he is excited by the sudden appearance of his father with the innocence of a child.In fact, his father's appearance was just a chance encounter on the street. The man's demeanor of disapproval made it impossible for him to come to the bedside of National Day one day. I remember one time the three of us stood by the side of the street and used pebbles to light up the street lamps.This idea was completely conceived by National Day. We were so motivated that we all expected to smash street lamps by ourselves.When an adult came over to stop us, Liu Xiaoqing and I ran away in fright. To our surprise, National Day didn’t move a single step. He stood there and said loudly: "This is not your lamp." But at that time, Guoqing's father suddenly appeared, and Guoqing immediately lost his bravery just now, but walked over tremblingly and called out: "father." Then he argued to his father that he did not smash the street lamps. At that time, he pointed at me and Liu Xiaoqing like a complete traitor and said: "They're the ones lighting the streetlights." National Day's father said angrily: "Who is your father?" This man gave up his right to punish his son. For National Day, such a blow was far worse than giving up his care.What we saw next was that National Day was so pitiful that he bit his lip when he walked across the road, and he tried his best to hold back the tears that were about to flow out. Even so, he still firmly believes that when he wakes up one day, he will see his father standing by the bed watching him.Once he told me with confidence that once his father got sick, he would "Come to find me." He repeatedly asked me to prove that his father would seek medical advice from him when he was ill.He said to me over and over again: "You've seen it, right, you've seen it." He no longer used the little cardboard box casually, and he didn't open the medicine bottles when he coughed continuously.He naively thought that as long as there was medicine in the bottle, his father would come back one day. At this time, when Guo Qing talked about his mother, he no longer seemed indifferent because the past was too far away.He often said the word once upon a time, how good he was when his mother was alive.He never told us the specific examples of his past happiness, but kept sighing, making us envious of his vague past.He began to imagine his mother, a nine-year-old child who had no one to rely on, imagining that instead of facing the future, he traveled prematurely into the past. When we were children, we were obsessed with the flying horses on the Pegasus cigarette packs. The plains where we grew up were only lowed by cows, and those sheep were always locked in the hut for a long time.We don't like pigs at all.What we love most are the flying white horses, we have never seen them.Later, a group of soldiers came to Sundang, and a carriage drove through the entire town in the dead of night and drove into the middle school in the town. After school that morning, the three of us ran to the middle school waving our schoolbags.National Day opened his arms and ran ahead like a big bird. His shout corrected my misunderstanding. He shouted: "I'm Pegasus." Liu Xiaoqing and I, who followed behind, couldn't find a gesture that could express our excitement other than imitating him. We became three screaming flying horses, flying over the department store, over the movie theater, over the hospital. After flying over the hospital, National Day dropped his arm as if he had been hit, and his flight died up.With a mournful face, he leaned against the wall and walked in the direction we came from.He didn't even say a word to us. We didn't know what happened, so we hurried to catch up and asked him why he didn't go to see Pegasus.But he just kept going forward, we went to hold him, he opened our hands angrily, crying and said: "Don't bother with me." Liu Xiaoqing and I looked at each other stupidly for a while, then watched him go away in astonishment.Immediately we are no longer surprised, we immediately forget about him.Liu Xiaoqing and I opened our arms and continued to run, going to see the flying horse. They were two brown horses. They were in the woods of the middle school. One drank water from the wooden trough, and the other kept rubbing its butt on the tree trunk.They have no wings at all, and they are all dirty.The stench of horses made us grin our teeth.I whispered back to Liu Xiaoqing: "Is this a horse?" Liu Xiaoqing walked up in fear, and timidly asked a young soldier: "Why don't they have wings?" "What? Wings?" The soldier waved his hand impatiently, "Go away, go away." We hurried away, and everyone around us laughed.I said to Liu Xiaoqing: "This is definitely not a horse. The horse should be white." An older child said to us: "No, it's not a horse." "Then what is it?" Liu Xiaoqing asked. "mouse." Such a big mouse?Liu Xiaoqing and I were taken aback. Guoqing saw his father at the door of the hospital. The reason for his sudden sadness was that his father walked into the hospital. This scene meant that his last expectation had failed. What was the meaning of Pegasus then? National Day the next day told us why he turned around and left yesterday.He said sadly: "My dad won't come to see me anymore." Then he cried loudly. "I saw him go to the hospital. If he didn't come to me when he was sick, he would never come to me again." Guoqing stood under the basketball hoop and cried loudly. He didn't know how to feel embarrassed at all, so Liu Xiaoqing and I had to aggressively drive away the students who surrounded us. National Day, who was abandoned by the living, started an intimate relationship with the old lady downstairs who was abandoned by the dead.That old woman in a black silk dress with wavy wrinkles on her face really frightened me, but the National Day did not frighten her. National Day no longer devotes all of our time to our common childhood.He often stays with the lonely old lady.Sometimes I saw the two of them walking together holding hands on the street. National Day's supposedly lively face looked a little gloomy beside her black arms.This woman corrupted the vigorous vitality of National Day with her dying breath, so that when I look at the young National Day now, I can see the gloomy decline on his face. I can't imagine the two of them sitting in a room with the doors and windows closed. They will definitely embark on the road of communicating with the dead.I was already terrified by the shuddering familiarity with which the hoarse-voiced old lady spoke of the dead. And my classmate was obviously fascinated by all this. He often told Liu Xiaoqing and me how his mother came silently before dawn, said a few words to him, and then left silently.When we asked what was being said, he told us solemnly that it should be kept secret.Once his mother forgot the time to go back, and the crowing of the rooster shocked her. In her haste, instead of going out the door, she broke through the window and flew away like a bird.The application of this detail undoubtedly enhanced the authenticity of the National Day narrative, and it also made me puzzled for several days.My mother broke out of the window on National Day, which made me frightened for her. Her family lived upstairs.I once quietly asked Liu Xiaoqing: "Will she fall to her death?" Liu Xiaoqing replied: "She's already dead, so she won't be afraid of falling to her death." After hearing this, I suddenly realized. National Day recounted that his demeanor when he met his mother was so serious, even happy, it was hard for us not to believe him.But the tone of his narration really scared me, the kind of charming kindness is exactly the same as that of the old lady in black. And he claimed that he often saw a bodhisattva, as big as a house and as golden as the sun, appearing suddenly in the sky before him, and then disappearing like lightning. One evening, the two of us were sitting by the river, and I refuted him. I firmly did not believe in Bodhisattvas. To prove my unbelief, I cursed at Bodhisattvas.National Day sat indifferently, and said after a while: "When you scolded the Bodhisattva, you were terrified." I'm okay if he doesn't say this, but when he said it, I suddenly got really scared.At that time, the night was coming, and I watched the vast and incomparably gray darkness spread, and the trembling in my heart made my breathing disordered. National Day continued: "Those who are not afraid of Bodhisattvas will be punished." I asked him in a trembling voice: "What kind of punishment?" Guo Day pondered for a moment, then said: "Grandma knows." That scary old lady knows? National Day told me softly: "One can see the Bodhisattva when one is afraid." I immediately opened my eyes to look at the gray sky, but saw nothing. I was so frightened that I was about to cry. I said to National Day: "You must not lie to me." The National Day at that time reflected the friendship that I was grateful for, and he encouraged me softly: "Look carefully." I opened my eyes again and it was completely dark.Fear and devotion finally made me see the Bodhisattva. I don't know if I saw it in real life or in my imagination. In short, I saw a Bodhisattva as big as a house and as golden as the sun, but it disappeared in a flash. The old lady, who was intimate with the dead and had no scruples, had to deal with a very strange reality because her life was still going on with great distress.She used terrible methods to make Guoqing's soul peaceful, and Guoqing used brave actions to protect her in reality. What worries her the most is the yellow-haired dog that often lives in the middle of the alley. When she has to go to the street to buy rice, salt or soy sauce, the dog scares her far more than she scares me.In fact, that ugly old dog that no child likes barks at everyone, but she wishfully regards herself as its only enemy.As soon as the dog saw her, it showed a vicious look. It barked and kept making gestures of preparing to pounce on her, but in fact it was just jumping on the spot.At that time, the many dead people on the walls of her house were helpless.I've seen her shivering from the dog, her little feet springy as she fled back for her life, the elderly woman swinging her body like a fan fanning.At that time, the father of National Day had not yet run away from home, and the three of us gloated and laughed loudly behind us.When I walked to Guoqing's house, I didn't have to worry about her half face behind the door. She didn't have time to wait for us behind the door, but sat in her room and wept.We will paste it on her door and watch her wipe her tears from the cracks in the wood. Later, she established a wonderful tacit understanding through the deceased and National Day, and unexpectedly got National Day's protection.In those days, every time she went to the streets, she had to walk with National Day, so that she would not have to worry about it.Every time the yellow-haired dog tried to stop them by barking, Guo Qing would squat down as if picking up stones, and the dog would run away quickly.When they continued to walk forward, the eyes of the old lady were full of admiration for the National Day, and my classmate said to her proudly: "No matter how fierce a dog is, it will be afraid of me." The fear of dogs made her kneel in front of the clay sculpture of Guanyin every day, piously begging the Bodhisattva to bless the old dog with a long life.Every time she comes home from school on National Day, the first thing she asks is whether the dog is still there. After getting an affirmative answer, she smiles happily. What worries her most is that the yellow-haired dog will die before her.She told Guo Day that the journey to the underworld was very long, dark and cold, and she had to put on a cotton coat and carry an oil lamp.If the dog dies before her, he will wait for her on the way to the underworld. When she said this, she was trembling with tension, and she said with tears: "You won't be able to help me then." This lonely old woman has the stubbornness and seriousness unique to the times.The oil bottles she has used for decades have their own graduations, and she doesn't trust the shop assistants, who always look away when they fill the oil.Once the oil is over the mark, she is never complacent, but pours out a little bit of dissatisfaction.If it is not up to the mark, she will not go away until it is filled up. She will stand there for a long time without saying anything, just staring at the oil bottle stubbornly. Her husband seems to have passed away a long time ago.That man with great strength had a strange passion for snails during his lifetime.He likes to sit in the patio in summer, waving a fan and eating snails leisurely.During her decades of widowhood, the best commemoration of her husband was not that she kept her virginity, but that she meticulously inherited his hobby.During her lifetime, that man possessed all the snail meat, and she willingly ate the messy thing on her butt.For decades after her husband died, she never tasted the taste of snail meat, and ate their buttocks contentedly, leaving the meat to her husband who hung on the wall.She combines habit and nostalgia. My classmate didn't like the snails, but the old lady sucked the snails smooth and loud, and every time she sucked, she stuck out her tongue to lick the residual juice left on her lips.After this situation was repeated, it was difficult to stop the saliva from the corners of the mouth on National Day.When National Day's appetite was aroused, when he tried to get the snail meat on the table, the old woman panicked immediately. She quickly slapped the food in Guo Day's hands, and leaned close to his ear and said intimidatingly: "He saw it." The dead man hanging on the wall was indeed looking at them. In the spring of the year I was twelve, the old lady was finally given her eternal sleep.She died on the way.When she went to the street to buy soy sauce with National Day and was walking back, she suddenly felt that her feet could not move.She said she wanted to find a place to rest, walked to a corner, sat down lazily in the sun, holding the soy sauce bottle in her hands.My classmate was standing beside her all the time. After she closed her eyes, Guo Day thought she was asleep.My classmate stood there looking around boredly. It was the spring season. He saw that the green grass had grown by the wall, and the sunlight made him squint his eyes.The old lady once opened her eyes and asked him softly if the dog was still there?National Day looked at the dog, which was lying in the middle of the alley and watching them with its head up.He said it was there.After the old lady took a long breath, she closed her eyes again.Guo Qing was still standing beside her, and for a while he was in a good mood watching how the sunlight fluctuated in the wrinkles on her face. National Day later told us that she froze to death after getting lost.When she went to the underworld, she was in such a hurry that she forgot to put on a cotton coat and carry an oil lamp.The road to hell is endless, dark and cold.She walked and walked on the dark and invisible road, but got lost.The cold wind blowing in front of her made her shiver. She couldn't walk anymore, so she had to sit down.That's how she froze to death. When Guo Qing was thirteen years old, he finally made himself a truly free man. He is unwilling to carry a schoolbag to accept the teacher's eloquence.When Liu Xiaoqing and the others entered middle school, National Day began to work to earn money. By then I had returned to the south gate, and while I had begun my miserable life at home, my fellow student was able to support himself, and he took up the job of delivering coal.Like a real coolie, with a dirty towel hanging on his shoulder pole and his clothes open, he hobbled coal to the user's house.The handkerchief was the only thing that survived as a past habit.When he put down the heavy coal load, the first thing he did was to take out a handkerchief and wipe his mouth. Even if he was sweating profusely, he just wiped his mouth.He added a small notebook and a pencil to his pocket.With a clear voice and childish politeness, he went from house to house asking if he needed to fetch coal.In the beginning, it was difficult for people to trust him at his age. Looking at his thin body, some people would ask: "Can you pick coal?" My classmate, with a bright smile on his face, said: "If you don't let me try, how would you know?" National Day won the trust of users with its honesty and calculation skills.The shipper in the coal factory couldn’t get him a little bit of cheap money. In the end, his childish demeanor and his well-known experience made the shipper always give him a few catties of coal out of love and pity. It is the users who benefit, which in turn makes the National Day business boom.He almost beat out a colleague who had been in the profession for over twenty years. This colleague after the National Day has a very striking image in my memory. This short man is almost an idiot.No one knew what his name was, and he would agree to whatever name anyone called him.Our cries will not be answered while he is hurrying away carrying coal.Only when he hurried over with an empty load, he would bow his head and seriously answer to whatever they called him.At that time, I always called him "National Day" or "Liu Xiaoqing", but they called me by my first name.He went "um, um" and never looked up to see us.He is always walking in a hurry, as if he has been catching a train all his life.Once we called him "toilet" and he agreed, which made us laugh so hard.But this person who doesn't care about his name is meticulous about money.And his calculation speed is surprisingly fast. When those users just started to figure out how much to pay, he has already told them the amount.These are the only words that people living in Sundang have heard from him. When National Day made fun of him with us, he obviously didn't expect to become his colleague in the future.The addition of the National Day knocked a big corner off his job, and he was no longer as busy as before. This poor man began to have more time to carry empty burdens, walking lonely but still in a hurry on the street.He doesn't seem to be jealous of National Day at all, which I suspect he might not be capable of.This man who is dedicated to his profession has never shown a smile on his face.他把煤倒入用户家中的煤篚后，还会十分自觉地从门后拿出扫帚和簸箕，清扫地上的煤屑。然后异常严肃地挑起空担走了出去。可是有一次在街上看到挑着同样担子了的国庆后，他竟然笑眯眯起来。 谁都不知道这两个人是怎样建立友谊的，人们开始经常看到这两个满身煤灰的人，在茶馆里相对而坐，笑逐颜开地喝着茶水。那个拥有无数名字，其实一个名字都没有的前辈，像个仆人似的把双手放在腿上，只是在喝茶时将一只手提起来一下。国庆就完全不一样了，他在茶盅旁放着一块手帕，喝一口茶水便擦一下嘴。衣衫褴褛并且脏肮的国庆，完全是一副落难公子的姿态。他们看上去虽然亲密无间，可没有人听到他们有过交谈。 国庆获得职业后不久也获得了爱情，他喜欢的那个女孩子长大以后也许是个美人，在当初可是看不出这一点。我见过这个名叫慧兰的小姑娘，那时候我还没有回到南门，国庆对她似乎还不屑一顾。她家就在国庆家所在的那条胡同。这个扎着两根翘辫子的女孩，总爱站在门口甜滋滋地喊： “国庆哥哥。” 她家的院子里种着令人激动的葡萄，有一年夏天，我和国庆，还有刘小青曾经有过一个周密的计划，将院内的葡萄在某个深夜洗劫一空。可是她家的围墙太高了。不过我们真正失败的原因还不是围墙，我们谁也无法在深夜出来，而不让家中的大人知道。那时国庆的父亲还没有离家出走。一想到成年人对我们可怕的惩罚，我们的计划尽管周密，也只能成为空想。 因此当国庆看到这个黄毛丫头后，已经升入初中的刘小青，还以为他是在打那些葡萄的主意。不识时务的刘小青还问国庆： “要不要多叫几个人？” 他告诉国庆他可以叫上中学的同学，并且设法去搞一把梯子。 国庆听了非常生气，他对刘小青说： “你怎么可以偷我未婚妻的葡萄。” 事实上他们的爱情在我回到南门之前就播种了。无人管束的国庆在夏日的中午，喜欢赤脚只穿一条短裤衩四处游荡。 比他小两岁的慧兰，就是在这样一个中午和国庆偷偷走到了乡间，然后赤裸裸地在一个池塘里学习游泳。慧兰小小的年纪就懂得了如何体贴国庆，他们向乡间走去的时候，由于石板被阳光烤得灼烫，赤脚的国庆像只青蛙一步一跳。慧兰不忍心看到国庆受难的模样，就脱下自己的塑料小凉鞋贡献给他。那个时候的国庆还不知道对待女孩子应该殷勤有礼，他粗鲁地挥了挥手，不屑地说： “谁穿你这种女人的鞋子。” 国庆在和慧兰谈情说爱时，完全具有了成熟青年的派头。 每天下午慧兰放学的时候，这个十三岁的孩子就换上干净的衣服，将头发梳得光溜溜地守候在校门口。这是他给自己疲劳一天后的最好酬劳。接下去的情景是国庆双手插在裤袋里，大模大样地走在前面，背着书包的慧兰则是小跑地紧跟其后。 那时慧兰便会诉苦似的告诉他，某个淘气的男孩往她课本里放了一撮泥土。 “泥土算得了什么。” 我的同学像个成年人一样挥挥手，然后得意洋洋地告诉他的小恋人： “我都往女同学的书包里放过蛤蟆。” 他们充满孩子气的对话，使他们的恋爱显得天真烂熳。往往要到分手的时候，国庆才会从口袋里拿出一把早已准备好的糖果，塞入慧兰幸福的书包。 看来国庆是真的打算要和慧兰结婚生孩子，否则他就不会如此郑重地对待这场恋爱。他时刻都在掩饰自己年龄的缺陷，从而使他的严肃和认真显得有些滑稽。当这一对孩子以公开的姿态在街上反复行走以后，他们在这个城镇里也就逐渐著名了。国庆错误地估计了成年人对他们的看法，当他认为这一切都是顺理成章时，他觉得别人也会感到理所当然。 慧兰的父母，两个都是医院里的药剂师，他们对这一对孩子的亲密早就察觉，他们觉得孩子之间的亲密不值得大惊小怪。当别人告诉他们这两个孩子有点像是谈恋爱了，他们听后反而觉得这种说法荒唐。后来是国庆自己的行为，让他们发现传闻其实很真实。 我的同学十三岁的年龄，在一个星期日的上午，买了一瓶酒和一条烟异想天开地前往岳父家去做客了。我真佩服他竟然能够不慌不忙地走进去，他将礼物放到桌子上时脸上堆满了恭敬的笑容，慧兰的父亲显然吃了一惊，他问国庆这是什么意思？ 国庆说：“是送给你的。” 那位药剂师连连摆手，说道： “你那么苦，我怎么能接受你的礼物。” 那时我的同学已在椅子里坐了下来，他翘起了二郎腿，可两条腿都腾在空中。他对那两位男女药剂师说： “不要客气，这是女婿我的一点心意。” 这话让他们吓了一跳，过了半晌慧兰的母亲才问： "What did you say?" “岳母。”国庆甜甜地叫了一声，然后说道，“我是说……” 他还没说完，那个女人已经尖声喊叫起来，她质问国庆： “谁是你的岳母？” 国庆还来不及解释，那个男人吼叫着要他立刻滚蛋。国庆慌忙站了起来。对他们申辩： “我们是自由恋爱的。” 慧兰的父亲气得脸色灰白，他一把扯住国庆就往外拉，嘴里大骂： “你这个小流氓。” 国庆竭力挣扎，连连说： “现在是新社会，不是旧社会。” 国庆被慧兰的父亲推出门去以后，慧兰的母亲紧接着也将礼物扔了出去。可惜了那瓶酒，“砰”地一下就完蛋了。那时屋外已经聚了不少人，国庆一点都不觉得自己狼狈，他用手指点着慧兰的家，振振有辞地对他们说： “这一家的大人啊，封建思想太严重了。” 他们纯洁的恋爱在慧兰父母眼中简直是胡闹，一个十三岁的男孩和一个十一岁的女孩竟然正儿八经地谈情说爱。女儿的行为对他们来说实在是伤风败俗，他们感到连自己都成了镇上的笑料。他们当然无法容忍这种荒唐的恋爱，必须彻底摧残掉。他们开始打骂自己唯一的女儿，当国庆从他们窗前经过，听到心上人哭喊时，他的痛苦可想而知。遭受打骂的慧兰仍然压抑不住奔向幸福时的激动，我不知道她是否更多地想奔向国庆口袋中的糖果。他们仍有相会的机会。那时他们已经失去了过去的欢乐，将痛苦慢慢转化成仇恨的国庆，咬牙切齿地向她讲叙了如何报复她父母的计划，她则是恐怖万分地听着，还没听完就已经吓得眼泪汪汪了。 后来的一天下午，国庆从慧兰家窗前经过时，他看到慧兰满脸是血地扑在窗口，事实上只是一些鼻血，哭泣着喊叫他： “国庆哥哥。” 我的同学气得浑身发抖，那一刻他真是想杀死慧兰的父母了。这个十三岁的孩子跑回家中以后，拿着菜刀就往慧兰家走去。当时他的一个邻居刚好从屋里出来，看到国庆的模样十分奇怪，问他这是干什么？国庆怒气冲冲地回答： “我要去杀人。” 这个乳臭未干的孩子把裤管和袖管高高卷起，将菜刀扛在肩上，杀气腾腾地走向慧兰的家。他走在胡同里的时候畅通无阻，所有看到他的成年人，都忽视了他可怕的仇恨。当他告诉他们要去杀人时，他稚嫩的声音和天真的神态使他们嘻嘻发笑。 国庆就这样轻而易举地进入了慧兰家的院子，那时候慧兰父亲正在燃煤球炉，她的母亲蹲在地上给鸡喂食。国庆手持菜刀突然出现，使他呆若木鸡。国庆没有立刻动手，而是废话连篇地宣告他为什么要杀他们。然后才挥起菜刀走上去，慧兰的父亲拔腿就逃，窜到了屋后大叫起来： “杀人啦。” 那位可怜巴巴的母亲忘了逃命，眼睁睁地看着菜刀向她挥起来。这时候鸡救了她，那群受惊的鸡四处逃散，其中有两只张开翅膀扑到了国庆胸前。慧兰的母亲急中生智，也从院门窜了出去。 准备追赶的国庆那时看到了慧兰，手扶门框的慧兰睁圆眼睛，一付惊恐万分的样子。我的同学立刻忘记了追赶，他赶紧走到慧兰身旁。慧兰却害怕地退缩着身体，这让国庆深感不满，他说： “你怕什么，我又不会杀你。” 他的安慰丝毫不起作用。慧兰依然恐惧地望着他，那双发定的眼睛看上去像是假的。国庆赌气地说： “早知道你会这样，我就不会冒着生命危险杀人啦。” 那时候院子的两个出口已被外面的人堵住，没过多久警察也来了。那天下午有关一个孩子杀人的消息不径而走，经历了长时间寂寞的人群蜂拥而来。最先来到的一个警察走进去对国庆说： “把菜刀放下。” 于是轮到国庆被吓傻了，外面嘈杂的人声和警察的出现，使他立刻抱住慧兰将菜刀架在她脖子上，声嘶力竭地喊道： “你们别进来，一进来我就杀了她。” 那个发号施令的警察立刻退了出去。一直没有声音的慧兰哇地一声大哭起来，国庆焦急地对她说： “我不会杀你，我不会杀你，我是骗他们。” 可是慧兰依旧嚎啕大哭，国庆气乎乎地训斥她： “别哭啦，我还不是为了你。” 他满头大汗地往四周看看，沮丧地说： “现在连逃命都来不及了。” 在院外杂乱的人群里，慧兰哭哭啼啼的母亲，那时还在指责丈夫刚才自私的逃命，只顾自己逃走没想到应该保护妻子。她的丈夫听着女儿在院内的哭喊，眼泪汪汪地对她说： “你就别说这些了，你的女儿的生命都快保不住了。”这时候一个警察攀着屋檐，一纵身爬上了屋顶，他准备偷偷来到国庆后面，然后从屋顶上跳下去。这个警察在孙荡是很著名的，有一次他一人对付了五个流氓，并用他们自己的鞋带绑住了他们，像提着一串螃蟹似的把他们送进了公安局。他攀上屋顶时的潇洒，博得了众多围观者的阵阵赞叹。接着他猫着腰悄无声息地在屋顶上移动，要命的是他踩滑了两张瓦片，整个地从屋顶上摔了下去，先是摔在葡萄棚上，让外面的人听到了一片乱糟糟的竹竿断裂声，然后他摔在水泥地上。如果不是棚架的缓冲，没准他就摔瘫痪了。 突然从天上掉下一个人来，把国庆吓得又连连喊叫： “你出去，你出去。我要杀了她啦。” 遭受意外失败的警察，从地上站起来有气无力地说： “我出去，这就出去。” 双方的对峙一直持续到傍晚，一个身材高大的警察想出了一个真正的主意。他穿上便服后，从后门走了进去。当国庆高喊着让他出去时，他却露出了亲切的笑容，他用极其温和的声音问国庆： "What are you doing?" 国庆擦擦额上的汗水后说： “我要杀人。” “可你不应该杀她呀。” 他指着慧兰轻声说，接着又指指院外： “你应该杀她的父母。” 国庆不由自主地点了点头，他开始被警察迷惑住了。 警察问：“你一个小孩杀得了两个大人吗？” 国庆回答：“杀得了。” 警察点点头说：“我相信，可是外面还有很多人，他们会保护你要杀的人。” 他看到国庆有些不知所措后，就伸出手说： “我帮你去杀他们，行吗？” 他的声音是那样的亲切，终于有一个人站出来帮助自己了。这时的国庆完全被他迷惑了，当他伸出手来时，国庆不由地将菜刀递给了他。他拿住菜刀后就扔到了一旁，那时国庆根本没有注意这个动作，长时间的委屈和害怕终于找到了依靠，国庆扑过去抱住他的身体哭起来。警察却一把提起国庆脖后的衣领，走了出去。我的同学使劲仰起脖子，被那个高大的男人提着在人群闪出的路上走去。即便这时，他仍然不知道自己已经束手被擒。他的哭声因为呼吸困难，变成了长短不一的呜呜声。