Chapter 5 chapter Five

"Do you know why I called you here?" "I know, I want to understand my performance in the Boxer Rebellion." In a large, empty, soundproofed room, a fat, bald man sat behind a desk, his face hidden in the shadow of a backstage lampshade.The beam of light like a lamp hit Mr. Tang's face. He put his hands on his knees and sat respectfully on a stool without a back on the ground of a girl. "Your name?" "Tang Guotao." "Age?" "111 years old." "Where did you live before arrest?" "No. 35, Tanzi Hutong." "When did you join the army?" "1899 March."

"Any positions?" "Small captain, general manager, second senior brother, senior senior brother, and first master." "What kind of rewards and punishments have you received?" "Sentenced to death in 1900." "Do you have corns?" "No beard." In the snow-white consultation room of the hospital, Tang Yuanbao was sitting at the consultation table wearing only a pair of trousers, answering a female doctor's inquiry.The doctor asked and took notes. "Do you have body odor?" "No." "Do you have hemorrhoids?" "No." "Why don't you have anything?"

"Can you smell and see?" "I don't believe you. You probably don't pee on the kang anymore?" "Urinated, changed." "Stand over there and weigh it." The female doctor pointed to a heavy cargo scale at the end of the room.The nurse watching the scale carefully adjusted the scale, straightened her waist and announced to the female doctor, "It's eighty kilograms tall." "Now take off your underpants and go behind the curtain." The doctor put down her pen, rubbed her hands and stood up. "What are you doing?" Yuan Bao asked nervously.

"Look at your development." The female doctor said blankly. "I heard." Bai Du who was standing aside said gently. "This doctor has amenorrhea." "But I've never seen it before." Yuan Bao shyly followed the female doctor into the curtain.After a while, the female doctor came out, went to the sink to wash her hands, and said to the female nurse who took over her record, "Development status, medium." "Where were you on that night eighty-eight years ago, the night when the Eight-Power Allied Forces entered the city? "I'm at home." Old man Tang looked very calm under the illumination of the desk lamp.

"Why not fight? The Great Swordsman Wu is fighting, and Lao She's father is also fighting." "I have more important tasks." "What task?" "I rushed home and strangled my parents, daughter-in-law, and children to death one by one. It was so dark and cold that day. I had just finished handling the whole family. Suddenly, I could only hear Someone knocked on the door and shouted softly: "Master, Master, open the door quickly."As soon as I opened the door, I saw a person coming in, holding a baby in his left hand, and holding a red light in his right..."

"Who is it?" "It's my wife, my current wife—she was a 'red light' at the time." "The child in my arms?" "It's Huo Yuanjia." "My God, why didn't I hear that?" Said that there is still such a paragraph!" "As soon as my wife saw me, he plopped down on his knees and shouted: "Master, master, my wife, and sister are all bad." 'I said: "Yes, I strangled to death." My wife cried and said: "From now on, I will be your relative, this child..." I interrupted her ""Where did you get this child? Where to send it back'."

"What happened next?" The fat man wiped away his tears. "Later, there was a lot of gunshots, and the Japanese rushed in, shouting Bageyalu, pointed their guns at me, and asked me 'what's the matter?' It was too late, then fast, the Japanese rushed in At that time, I was already under the bed, and the direction of my wife's kneeling also changed, kowtowing to the Japanese: "Taijun, he is a tofu grinder, a very good citizen. The Japanese laughed and stabbed her with a bayonet, "Flower Girl" and called.As a result, I jumped up, and Da Kong said: "Stop! I am the Boxer cadre you want to arrest, and I have nothing to do with ordinary people!" "Mr. Tang, this is a bit of a romance." The fat man frowned and said. "As far as I know, the Boxers have never established a party at the grassroots level."

"Young man, you don't understand this. As early as a hundred years ago, we have already followed each other." Tang Yuanbao was walked quickly in the long corridor by Sun Guoren's arm.Sun Guoren took him into a consulting room, and several big men in white coats came up and sat him down in a chair. They fixed the suction cups and clips of various instruments on Tang Yuanbao's limbs and torso with five flowers. One X The optical machine was pushed forward and aimed at Tang Yuanbao. "We're starting to debug—power on." The doctor in charge said. Yuan Bao, who was sitting on a chair, writhed violently after receiving electric shocks.

"It hurts!" he yelled.A doctor put a piece of Shangshi pain-relieving ointment on his mouth, and he immediately fell silent. The indicator lights on all the instruments turned on, and faint green fluorescent lights appeared on the oscilloscope, fluctuating chaotically.The instrument makes all kinds of strange noises. "Start the test now, and each console will report the data." "One heart." "One liver." "One belly." "One virtuous." "Stop—how ​​come one kidney?" The operator poked his head out behind the instrument and asked Yuan Bao: "Where's your waist?"

Sun Guoren tore off the plaster on Yuanbao's mouth, and Yuanbao asked with a red mouth, "Can't there be one?" "No," the operator said, "There are two of them. Think about where they are going." "I can't remember, I always lost things when I was a child." "Look at the size of this waist." The doctor in charge said. The operator buried his head back again, and reported, "It's about the size of a pineapple." "This is not over, one is worth two." The doctor in charge said to the crowd, "Continue."

"The lungs are about 800 meters long." "Fat can stick chopsticks." The automatic recorder recorded "dada", typing all the data on a long paper tape.The doctor in charge and Baidu held the paper tape in their hands and looked at it section by section. "Basically intact." The doctor in charge said to Bai Du, "If no autopsy specimen is made." "Untie." Bai Du said to the big men.Then he said to Yuan Bao who stood up from the chair, his wrist was numb from the movement: "Please come here." Tang Yuanbao was walking briskly in the long corridor by the arm held by the burly Sun Guoren.In another snow-white consulting room, a row of doctors looked up at Yuan Bao who was staggered on the chair by Sun Guoren.A middle-aged doctor wearing black glasses tapped a thick stack of cards on the table, and said kindly: "Let's take a small test, please don't be nervous, just like your parents did when you were young. , It doesn’t matter if you can’t answer it, I believe you can answer it very well, it’s not a difficult question, don’t be nervous.” "Please," Tang Yuanbao said sincerely. "I'll do my best to satisfy you." "Thank you." The doctor said, "Let's start now. Please look at the card in my hand. There is a monkey and a man drawn on it. My first question is, can you have a sentence to explain the most fundamental difference between a man and a monkey?" - please answer!" "Monkeys have hair all over their bodies, but humans only have hair in a few places." "Correct answer, score." Tang Yuanbao chuckled, looking happily at the scoreboard in another doctor's hand, seeing Bai Du, stopped smiling immediately, and sat down seriously. "Next, I will ask the second question, which is still this card. This monkey and this person, are monkeys thick-skinned, human thick-skinned, or the same thick-skinned - please answer!" "Human thick-skinned." "Answer Mistake - points deducted!" "That's right." Yuan Bao was a little anxious when he saw that all the points he had just scored were deducted. "Is it because people have thick skins? Monkeys are always red in the face, but people are hardly red, obviously thicker than monkeys." "You are wrong. It should be said that the buttocks of monkeys are always red, while the buttocks of human beings are almost not red. Of course, the problem is not here. I am asking about the face, not the buttocks. The correct answer to this question should be It’s monkeys with thick skins—because humans have no face.” “Then what are you aiming at me?” “Face, face.” The doctor said calmly. "This is a speculative question, and you have not correctly understood the meaning of the question." "Go ahead and ask." "Third question:" From your point of view, this monkey and this person have stronger traditional ideas at night?Why? "" Monkey, because monkeys have not changed much, but people are always changing. " "Correct answer. Score. Now I ask the fourth question. In your opinion, who is happier, this monkey or this person? Why?" "It's just as happy, because monkeys don't learn from humans, and there is endless fun in learning or not." ?” "But monkeys don't learn and don't fall behind." "You still think they are not backward enough?" "They don't learn from anyone." "Who do you look up to? Who is the role model in your heart? Right and wrong are reversed, people and monsters can't be distinguished... there is no word, you can't explain it to me, because I love learning more than you. Next Let me ask the question in a different way. It is still this card, or four questions. When I ask a question, you only need to answer yes or no, and you must answer immediately without thinking. First, does this monkey have an inferiority complex in front of this person? ?” "Yes!" "Score! Two, is this person sure to succeed in killing the monkey?" "No." "Points deducted." "Of course not. This man has no organization and no gun, one-on-one. It's almost as good if the monkey killed him." "Third question, since monkeys and humans are related by blood, are you a human?" , then you and the monkey on the card are also related by blood? In other words, you are relatives, but if this monkey is entrusted to you to support, you will still abuse it.” "Yes!" "Deducted points! Now let's take a look at your score." The doctor looked back at the scoreboard. "It's a pity that you didn't get a point." "I want to ask what standard you use to score?" "Impression." When the doctor said, we all scored based on impression.Do you think it's unfair? " "No, no, I don't think there is any fairness. It would be strange if it were based on impressions." "How about it." The doctor and others bit their ears and said to Yuan Bao. "Let's add another question to decide the male and female. It's still this card, this monkey and this person..." "Can you show me the other cards in your hand-it's a thick dozen."" No! When it comes to life, you only need to answer one question—— Those stuck sleeps are for others.Still this card, this monkey and this person, can you tell us what is going on in our minds while staring at each other? " Tang Yuanbao and the doctor stared at each other. "They are thinking together, don't become like it." "What conclusion did you draw?" Bai Du asked the doctor. The doctor looked at Baidu, then at Yuanbao. "Unfortunately, I still can't give him points, of course, there is no need to deduct points-- I still have to ponder his answer. " "Then talk about impressions, you don't have to rush to give me a scientific answer." Bai Du said. "impression?" The eldest lady leaned back in her chair and stared at Yuan Bao. "IQ is not high, but there is no doubt about it. Loyalty is like adultery, life is very long, married twice, unprecedented, there are petty rich criminals and villains who have noble people to help at critical moments. How about this, I will send him two lines of poems, so maybe Can you explain what I mean clearly. 'The willows are entangled with the willows in the spring, and the passers-by on the road are dying'——that's all I can say before I look at his palmistry." "That's not what the book says. Let's turn the book to the fourth-to-last line on page forty-four." In the interrogation room, the bald fat man read the book loudly: "It was night, the whole city was ablaze with flames, gunshots were blazing, foreign soldiers entered the pass like tigers, burning and killing everywhere, soldiers fought bravely, and the people scattered like birds and beasts. A master of magic and others fell into the hands of magic soldiers in Hedemen. In the end, he was defeated and bound. At Maoshi Sanlu, he was beheaded by the legal person at the entrance of the vegetable market. At the same time, other leaders of the Yihe Boxing Bandit, Dao Wang Wu Xiaodao, Zhao Liu, and other hundreds of people..." The fat man raised his head and said to the old man Tang who was wearing reading glasses and pointing at the debate word by word: "Of course, no book is worse than a letter with a foot, and this "Memory of Eggs in a Brothel" is just a work about ghosts and ghosts. But the theory of being a family can be ignored. We all have this experience, and rumors are often the twin sisters of facts." "So I was wrong?" Old man Tang raised his face and said in a daze. "But I do remember that I was captured by the Japanese and shot in a gun tower once." "Have you watched "Little Soldier Zhang Ga"?" "I've seen it." Old Tang nodded. "It's not surprising. We interrogated the fat translator a few days ago, and even he forgot whether he was standing next to the Japanese or facing the Japanese." "Why can't I be shot by the Japanese once and then shot by the French again? Anyway, my narrow escape has been finalized." "I think it's possible, and it makes sense logically. When I fell down, I closed my eyes and pretended to be dead. After the Japanese left, I climbed out of the mass grave, stood up from the ground, and wiped off the blood on my body." , with deep-rooted hatred for imperialism, and started fighting again." The fat man tilted his head and pondered what Old Man Tang said: "It sounds fine." "I killed all the way south along the East and West Avenues. Wherever the gunfire was fierce, I would appear there. The intestines flowed out, and I stuffed it back; the eyeballs fell out, and I swallowed the scriptures. At that time, I was too late. Thinking about it, there is only one thought in my mind: If we can’t fall, China will be finished!” "Later." "Later I finally fell down. I just felt bursts of golden stars in front of my eyes, then the sky was spinning, and then it was pitch black..." "What do you remember about being beheaded at Caishikou?" "I was there when I woke up, and everyone was waiting in line to be beheaded. Before I could say anything, it was my turn. As for how to behead, it was like chopping ribs, with one hand holding the other hand." You can’t say a word, right? When you bid farewell to your comrades, when you face the executioner, it stands to reason that you should say a few words.” "It seems, it seems that he said long live the world revolution." "No." "Oh, now that I think about it, Wang Wang and I just shook each other's hands and encouraged each other with our eyes. Then I turned around and scolded the executioner: "We, China, will perish under the hands of you guys." It's in hands! '" "This seems to be the truth, the executioner is Chinese?" "No, French." "Now please raise your left hand and hold it... This, this is only the left hand. Well, let us swear." "To By whom? To whom?" "Look at me, look at me." Bai Du and Tang Yuanbao stood facing each other with their left fists raised, looking at each other sternly. "I say one sentence, you read one sentence, obey the organization, sacrifice the individual..." "I say one sentence, you read one sentence, obey the organization, sacrifice the individual..." "From now on, I have no other relatives except the organization." "The head can be broken, and the blood can flow." "The head can be broken, and the blood can flow." "When you go up the mountain of knives, you go down to the pan of oil." "You go up the mountain of knives, and you go down to the pan of oil." "Without a frown." "I don't want to be born in the same year and the same month, but I want to die in the same year." "Copyright, not reprintable" "Unilaterally breach the contract and compensate the other party for all losses." "...compensate the other party for all losses." After taking the oath, Bai Du warmly shook hands with Yuan Bao. "From now on, we are comrades." Yuan Bao grinned happily: "It's not enough to say that. It should be said that from now on we will... It's just...not a human being—not an ordinary human being. " "I want to know very much, how did you come back from the dead? You know, no one else came back to life except you." "Haven't you heard that sentence? The Chinese people can't be killed." "I've heard this saying: The Chinese people can't be killed!"