Chapter 13 Part VI (2)

After only three days of interrogation, those people never came again.The brick factory is too remote and bitter, and it is not easy for people from Nanzhou City to persist for too long.He would rather let them come for interrogation every day and see the sun than be locked up in the reflection cell day after day to stay alone.There is also his stomach, which is always hurting. It has been several days, and he can only drink water. The hunger that he could not eat a few days ago is rare and precious now.After delivering the food yesterday morning, he struggled to eat a little bit, and his chest and ribs swelled uncomfortably.How many days have you been in the reflection number?The unbearable sweltering heat and the more unbearable loneliness make the sun and the moon walk more and more slowly. Every day is like a year. He has been simmering down in this isolated steamer day by day, and he can’t remember how long In the morning and evening, I only know that it is July and it is the hottest time of the year.The cadres seem to have forgotten him, except that people come to the hut every day to deliver two meals and water, and only the whistle of the prisoners in the morning and evening, the footsteps of the queue, and the noise can make a little work. The human breath is brought in.Quiet, as quiet as the end of the world.Quiet that makes people exhausted, quiet that makes people hysterical, when did you become a head!

Xiaomeng, where are you?Come see me again, come see me again!In the silence like a sea of ​​bitterness, that gentle face repeatedly popped up in his mind.He was grateful to her, grateful to her, but the sense of love and responsibility condensed from this gratitude made him never dare to describe his sufferings and express his feelings in front of her.But now, he regretted it, and wanted to see her again like crazy, even if he received a ten-year sentence, even if he was shot, as long as he could see her!Tell her all of his experiences in the past few months... He really wants to cry, outside the Reflection, there is no place where no one can cry!

He struggled to sit up, unable to tell whether it was stomach pain or rib pain, it had been many days, Zheng Sanpao's iron-like fingers seemed to be still ruthlessly hooking on his weak rib.He remembered that when he came out of the visiting room that day, the ground under his feet seemed to spin, and he couldn't figure out how he stumbled back to the kiln.He wanted to cry, his eyes were red, but there was no tear!He wants to vent, he is no longer a weak and deceitful child, who dares to come! The kiln was resting for lunch, and Zheng Sanpao came towards him holding a water bowl and shaking his arms, "Oh, look at this kid, his eyes are straight after seeing his wife, hey." Shortneck twisted away and laughed at the other prisoners.

"Ha--" Several people laughed, and the big scar on Lin Shijie's face moved up and down. "Hey, I said Tiantouer, today you sent a brother to pick up the food, it was a good job, I saw that woman, the 'paner' is very bright! What a fucking love, let me tell you ...Ouch!" Zheng Sanpao didn't finish his sentence, suddenly he fell into the ditch with a strange cry, he hit the fleshy chin with a powerful fist, and the water bowl flew out towards the sky. The prisoners were stunned, and the whole construction site was strangely quiet. Zheng Sanpao crawled out of the ditch, and yelled: "My boy, you're so fucking tired of working, I'll make you a coffin! Ouch!" He didn't tolerate Zheng Sanpao. Sanpao stood firm and sent him into the ditch again. His fists were hot and comfortable!

Someone screamed: "This kid is from the Public Security Bureau, he can punch!" correct!The fist of the Public Security Bureau should hit this kind of person in the face! Tian Baoshan gave a strange cry, four or five people surrounded him, and a shovel slapped him heavily on the shoulder. He fell down on the ridge, his body was immediately pressed down, and he felt his head swell, buzzing and fluttering Called, Tian Baoshan's hoarse voice was very close and clear, "Don't let him fight back!" Countless fists pounded his chest, and slaps slapped his face, as hot as fire.

"Are you convinced, kid?" Tian Baoshan condescended, with a cruel look on his face. "Dissatisfied!" He spelled out these two words with all his strength.Tian Baoshan disappeared, replaced by Zheng Sanpao's ferocious face, with a streak of blood on the corner of his mouth, like a ghost, his stubby fingers hooked on his weakness like iron rods, his eyes were blue, making people dizzy Pain, ouch! ... His consciousness became dull, and there was a mess of noise in his ears. After a while, the shouting faded away and turned into one voice. "What is he going to do?" This is the instructor's thin voice.

"He wanted to make trouble in prison, he was the one who started it." Tian Baoshan's voice suddenly became so honest, honest, and eloquent, "Look at Zheng Sanbo's mouth." "Why do you do it?" "Do nothing, we don't know what's going on, hey! Just beat Zheng Sanbo." "Cuff it first!" The thin voice was decisive, "Xiao Ding, take a few people and send him to the reflection ship, I knew he was going to make a fuss!" Instructor Yu, you are not a police officer, you are not! He still remembered that a few days ago he had a stomachache and curled up on the bed of the Reflection. Captain Ding dragged the trainer to look at him and asked to send him to the main field hospital.But the instructor Yu actually faced Captain Ding in front of him and said: "Stomach pain is something you can tell by yourself, and the inspection can't find out whether it is true or not. Some prisoners have a lot of pains and pains. They just want to soak A sick meal and two days off from work. Last time, Liu Haishun of the second team put a thermometer into a hot water cup. Why? It was to visit the female doctors and nurses in the general hospital. He worked for several years Prisoner, I'm so anxious."

"Look at it, look at it," Captain Ding pointed at him, "Is this an act! He's not an actor!" "I'm not talking about him. You can call the doctor to take a look. If the doctor says send him to the hospital, he will be sent." At that time, he almost forgot the pain, and shouted with all his strength: "I won't go!" He couldn't bear this insult! When he yelled, Captain Ding froze there, but instructor Yu sneered nonchalantly, "Don't pay attention to him, this kind of person is so messed up, I don't know!" Captain Ding still called the doctor.The so-called doctor is the hygienist in the factory.A series of clichéd consultations, where does it hurt?How long has it been?Is it cramping or swelling?Can you spit sour water? ...

After reading it, the hygienist said that he would take him to the General Hospital for a barium meal radiography the next afternoon.Because of the rule of making a barium meal, he needs to be fasting for a day, so he didn’t bring him any food the next morning, and he even forgot to bring water. The whole morning, he was so thirsty that his mouth was sticky and astringent. Xingxu's saliva was crushed between the upper chambers and swallowed into the smoking throat.In the afternoon, when he arrived at the General Hospital, when a female nurse brought him a glass of white liquid with a strange smell, he drank it impatiently as if he had seen milk.The female nurse stared in surprise and reprimanded him, "Why are you so anxious? Are you afraid of choking? It's not something delicious."

From the second day after the barium meal radiography, he has been unable to poop, the anus seems to be blocked by something, and the desperate struggle on the toilet is ineffective.The hygienist came and prescribed some laxatives. After taking it, only some yellow and thin stool came out, which was the same as before.He couldn't take it anymore, and wished he could vent his anger by crying and shouting, but when he really opened his mouth to shout, he felt that he couldn't make a sound. "Aren't you going to be mentally ill?" He often has such fears from the bottom of his heart. These days, aren't all the extreme and weird thoughts that appear in his mind just a kind of insanity?That's fine, he probably really went crazy, and he's entered an extraordinary and painless state, and he occasionally has such flashes of self-abandonment in his mind.But at the bottom of the soul, another opposite consciousness grows and rises more and more forcefully, that is the belief of living, he must live well!As for why he wants to live, he didn't think too much about it. He only felt that when this belief burst out, he would think of his father; Xiao Meng; Section Chief Duan, Da Chen, Xiao Yan, Xiao Lu and the comrades; Uncle Shi and Uncle Jiang with gray hair; I thought of An Cheng who was warm to others; I thought of many people I knew well; Youth who have done evil things. "Tian Baoshan, Zheng Sanpao, Lin Shijie, what are they? But they are still alive, why should I die?" He felt a burst of vitality injected into his frail body. A heroic self-discovery ensued, and he found himself a strong man!If the father under Jiuquan could still perceive it, he would also say, son, you are a strong person!

He wants to live! He couldn't defecate, but he still had to swallow food. One morning, he saw his haggard face in a bowl of clear water, and knew that he couldn't survive without food.He found the pair of nylon socks he was wearing when he was arrested, put sorghum rice into the sock tube, poured the bowl of clear water into it, squeezed out half a bowl of light red soup, poured the soup into the sock tube, and squeezed it out again , go round and round, until the rice in the sock tube is squeezed into a ball of slag, and then drink the slightly thick soup. After this processing of "liquid food", most of the processed "liquid food" can be excreted from the urine after drinking, and the abdomen and anus can feel better.No one taught him this method, it was his first. "Beep—" There was another whistle outside, and it was time for the roll call.Today's evening call is really short, the captain on duty said a few words in a loud voice, and then left.The courtyard was chaotic for a while, and then gradually quieted down.Suddenly, someone came towards him, and then there was the sound of unlocking the lock, and he became nervous when he heard the sound. The door opened, his eyes lit up, it was Bian Pingjia! Bian Pingjia brought a bucket of clean water from outside the door, smiled at him and said, "You should take a shower. Captain Lun Ding is on duty today. I asked for instructions. Captain Ding told him to send you buckets of water every day. Today , it’s too hot!” Then he sat on his bunk again, held his hand and asked in a low voice, “Haven’t you been asked to write the inspection yet?” He shook his head, he understood what Bian Pingjia meant, if he was asked to check, it meant that he would be let out soon. Bian Pingjia exerted a little force on the hand holding him, then stood up and walked out, and he called out behind him: "Old Bian." Bian Pingjia stopped in front of the door, "What are you doing? The captain is still waiting outside to lock the door." He really wanted to talk to him, just say anything, he really needed someone to talk to and talk to, but he couldn't say a word in a hurry, he opened his mouth and asked, "Today What's the date?" "July 28." "..." "I'm leaving." Bian Pingjia wiped his body and went out of the room. At night, he tossed and turned, and the feeling of bloating in his abdomen became more and more severe. After calculation, he hadn't passed a stool for about a week, his anus was pushed like a fire, and his whole body was dripping with cold sweat.Before the light-off whistle blew, he was already unable to move. At this moment, he suddenly felt that the pain and weakness in his body seemed to be unable to sustain his life until dawn, and a burst of fear of death suddenly enveloped his heart. The moon has risen.A layer of gray light was cast on the wall facing the door. Although the glass on the door had been removed long ago, the room was still extremely hot and stuffy, and a few long-legged mosquitoes were tirelessly making noise in the ear.No!He has to live!He gritted his teeth and lay on his side on the bed, trembling with the index finger of his left hand, he inserted it deeply from the anus, trying to take out some shit.He was horrified to feel that when his fingertips touched something hard and he scratched it with his nails, there was a rattling sound, like a rough stone.He stretched his fingers further in, clenched his teeth and pulled out the hard thing blocking the intestinal tract, a piercing pain spread from bottom to top, he couldn't help but relax, took a breath, and then Then he pulled hard, and another burst of dizzy pain caused his consciousness to drift.Maybe he was unconscious for a few seconds. When the consciousness returned to him, his fingers felt that the hard thing had been broken into several pieces. He pulled out small pieces, and a line of hot liquid simultaneously Comes out of the anus.Under the dim moonlight, he saw clearly that the broken "stones" soaked in blood in his hands were the clots from the vat of barium solution he drank a week ago.The stool was finally discharged, and a very comfortable sense of unblocking immediately spread throughout the body. He slumped on the bed wearily, looking at Su Yue, which was cut in half by the iron bars on the door, as if he had never realized that the moon was so moving. Refreshingly untainted.He grinned, and smiled blankly by himself, the smile carried into the dream. In the haze, he turned into a baby in a trance, lying on his back in the cradle, waiting to be fed. On both sides are father and mother. The father is very old, but the mother is very young. She rocks the cradle so lightly, but this kind of maternal tenderness seems very hypocritical. Far is very strange.His father's generous hand caressed his face again, and his face was very itchy, which was a real feeling.He wanted to sit up and throw himself into his arms, but he couldn't move.Someone shook the cradle violently a few times, as if it was about to tear him apart, he opened his mouth and let out a desperate cry... He woke up with a start, the surroundings were as dark as ink, and the ear drums resounded with an overwhelming roar, "Woo————" It seemed that a Category 12 hurricane was blowing outside the door, and the bed board embedded in the ground was shaking crazily. The whole room is shaking and jumping!There was a weird rattling noise from the walls and roof.In the courtyard, there was a chaotic noise. Someone was shouting, "Atomic bomb!" But more voices came over, "It's an earthquake! It's an earthquake!" He came to a realization. He didn't know where he got so much strength. He jumped up from the bed and rushed to the door. The door was locked. He tried hard to hit it but couldn't open it. He shouted: "Open the door! Someone!" But his voice was immediately drowned out by the roars on the four walls and the wild shouts outside the door, who among the terrified people could remember that there was a living person locked inside this hut?No, people will not remember him then!Trembling all over, he went back to the bunk and sat down, looked around in the darkness, the whole room was still shaking violently, making a shocking noise that was about to collapse, now he really experienced the despair of a person at the last moment of life up. With a bang, a wall fell down, and broken bricks flew out in unison.There was a big gap in front of his eyes, and a force for survival propelled him to stand up abruptly, crawling and crawling out of the dust mist of the gaping wall, ran a few steps forward, and then fell powerlessly to the ground. The shaking of the earth gradually stopped under his body. In the yard, barefoot and barebacked people were running in panic. Two prison cells and several walls collapsed, and groups of people gathered around the collapsed house Shouting, the gate of the courtyard was opened, and several correctional cadres rushed into the courtyard, and the sound of the radio horn immediately suppressed the chaotic voices. "Line up, don't run around!" "Hurry up and save people! Class 1, Class 2, come here..." In the chaos, someone screamed, "Report to the captain! The Reflection! The Reflection has collapsed!" "Oh, there's someone inside!" "Run early!" "Stop talking nonsense, hurry up and save people!" Several figures rushed towards the collapsed Reflection, and the leader shouted loudly: "Zhou Zhiming, Zhou Zhiming!" "Captain Ding, I'm here!" He tried his best to get up and meet him. Dad came back, looking at the messy coffee table in the living room, he didn't even say hello to the guests, and walked into the bedroom frowning.This group of trendy friends probably also felt a little bored, so they left in embarrassment.Shi Jihong drew up the sky blue nylon curtains, and the filtered sunlight reflected a peaceful light blue on the snow-white walls.The living room, which was crowded when dancing just now, suddenly seemed spacious now. Maybe it was because I lived in the small room with partitions on Shennong Street for too long. But her initial sense of openness to the living room seemed new.The layout and color tone of the living room are basically based on her aesthetics, which is both elegant and luxurious.The curtains are blue, and the sofa cover is also blue. She particularly prefers blue because blue is a quiet color, which can reduce visual fatigue and is said to have the special effect of lowering blood pressure.In contrast to the blue, the carpet is deep red, and the red looks magnificent, with a strong sense of warmth and excitement, which makes people excited.Once the room is covered with this deep-colored nylon carpet, it seems to be raised a notch immediately, and even the few pieces of old-fashioned furniture are set off beautifully by it.This carpet was sent by the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office last week. It was originally used for shock absorption in the packaging box of the Canadian Industry Exhibition. After the exhibition was over, it was disposed of to several main leaders of the Municipal Party Committee. The price is naturally symbolic. .Things are like this now, if you are in this position, someone will flatter you. After my father became the political and legal secretary of the municipal party committee, not only the house problem was solved quickly, but the sofa was also sent as a set, and the large desk inlaid with Philippine wood was also delivered. You don't need to mention these things, someone will come to your door with arrangements. These people may have punished you the most during the "Gang of Four", and now they slap you the loudest. villain! She half-lyed on the couch, and turned on the tape recorder on the coffee table. Because the dance music was played just now, the volume of the tape recorder was turned up very loudly, and a burst of rough and powerful music suddenly burst out. "Happy people, find out the Gang of Four, political hooligans and cultural ruffians, dog-headed military strategist Zhang..." She has always despised opera, and she is no exception to famous artists like Chang Xiangyu.Pronunciation is unscientific, relying on shouting, you can still rely on your confidence when you are young, but when you are fifty years old, the high pitch is gone.Western singing is much superior. Look at Zhang Quan, a 60-year-old lady, who can still sing the watery voice of a little girl.She turned the FM knob for a while, saw Aunt Wu leaning in with a broom in her hand, and turned off the switch. "Xiaohong, someone is calling." "Is it my mother calling?" "It's a man." "Oh." She stood up and walked out of the living room to the corridor. Damn it, isn't the receiver of the phone clearly hung up? She looked at Aunt Wu questioningly. "Where is the phone?" Aunt Wu was stunned for a moment, walked to the phone, picked up the receiver and put it to her ear, then yelled in an ugly Anhui accent. "Hey, why is it gone?" She suddenly understood, "Did you hang up when you called me? Cough, why don't you even know how to use the phone? When calling someone, put this thing on the side and don't hang up." "Oh, I, I don't know. Then... what should I do?" Aunt Wu put on an embarrassing and apologetic smile. "Forget it." She waved her hand angrily, "It's useless to do anything." She walked to her bedroom, and when she was about to enter the door, she turned around and said, "You should clean up the living room." Aunt Wu is from Wangjiang County, Anhui Province. Many people from that county come to Nanzhou City to help people as babysitters.Aunt Wu is forty-one years old, but she is an old-fashioned rural person who looks to be in her fifties.But her hands and feet are still clean, and she is quite good at cooking. She has been here for a week.Now that there are so many houses in the family, my father is busy with work, my mother is sick, and Xiaomeng has gone to college, and even when she comes back at night, she will bury her head in her books, like a young lady who opens her hands and mouth. It is impossible not to ask an aunt to do housework. She closed the door of her bedroom. "Who is calling? It's Lu Yuanchao? He originally agreed to pick me up at the train station tomorrow morning. Is there something wrong?" Walking to the window, there was a pot of asparagus bamboo on the window sill, which was so emerald green that my mother put a gaudy bottle and put some red and green plastic fake flowers in it, and asked her to throw it out. Tasty!Bright red and green are purely the aesthetic requirements of farmers, and putting fake flowers is even more interesting for ordinary citizens. Those people don't like this kind of simple and elegant asparagus, it's really hopeless. Looking out through the tall and straight stems of asparagus bamboo, there are thick red leaves scattered on the ground outside the window.Both sides of this street are covered with tall plane trees. When the leaves fall in golden autumn, the ground is like a layer of colorful brocade.More than ten meters in front of her window, there is a house with the same appearance as her house. The entire Taiping Street, on the east side, is full of such houses, because it was given to some veteran cadres and veterans who implemented policies in 1975. It was built by molecules, so until now people are still accustomed to call it "fufufang". In fact, the word "fufu" was not a bad word in people's mouths in 1975, and "fufufang" naturally did not contain any derogatory words. agree.But after the house was built, it was completely occupied by some anti-restoration "warriors", and it was not returned to Zhao until the "Gang of Four" was crushed.It just so happens that the house next to hers is now lived by Uncle Jiang. Two of his four children have passed away after being admitted to universities in other places. One is still in the army, and the youngest is still in the northeastern countryside. , Uncle Jiang lived alone in such a big house, maybe it was scary enough, right? I don't know what kind of guest came again, the wheels of the car stopped outside the door, the doorbell rang once, then rang again, and after a while, a loud voice came from the corridor. "Is Lao Shi and Lao Song here?" She heard that the person who came was Qiao Yangshan, the head of the political and legal department of the municipal party committee.Uncle Qiao was not familiar with their family at first, but only got close after smashing the "Gang of Four".His two sons, Qiao Zhen and Qiao Li, have also become frequent visitors to the house, and Qiao Li was dancing here just now.Qiao Zhen and Xiaomeng both went to school at Nantah University. He studied Chinese, a class higher than Xiaomeng. He was one of the last batch of worker-peasant-soldier college students, and he went to school when his father hadn't returned to work. He probably didn't go through the back door. "Yes, the child's father is here. Her mother has gone to the hospital to see a doctor." Anhui people learn to speak Mandarin, which is really unpleasant. Since moving here, mostly because of the gravitational attraction of the large living room, a group of people often come here to dance, and her friends suddenly increase, many of whom are led by "Big Joe" and "Little Qiao" Most of the acquaintances are the children of cadres, and she associates with them and becomes friends.Go to concerts, go outings, eat western food, dance together, and participate in their high-spirited talks. On the surface, it looks like they are sticking together, but in my heart I really look down on them, and sometimes even hate them.These people always like to pretend to be different, and talk about current affairs, China, foreign countries, the sky, the underground, or who and who is in the central government, and they all speak very loudly.In fact, how much perceptual basis do their theoretical insights have, no!Some people like to argue just to show that they are different, and they call themselves some kind of "meditative generation". It's disgusting.Otherwise, if men and women recite Shelley's poems together, it will be sour.Especially Qiao Zhen, isn't he just a college student of workers, peasants and soldiers?How much real talent and learning?Seeing that Xiaomeng still loves to show off his half-understandable English, Xiaomeng also really likes to answer him correctly, there is no cure.I'm sick of this guy!What did Qiao Zhen talk to me about last time, my good guy, I quoted the classics, why are college students such a fashion now?What Beethoven said for a while, what Tchaikovsky thought for a while, looking at his serious appearance, I really wanted to give him a slap, so as not to show off in front of me, but to show off to my sister.Qiao really likes Xiaomeng, her manner of speaking and demeanor is remarkable. Uncle Qiao also mentioned it to him, and his mother seems to be a little moved.After the turmoil of Xiaomeng's "elopement" from Xinhe last time, her mother said she would not care about her business anymore, but now it doesn't matter anymore?Humans are not like that, it happens from time to time.However, in terms of simplicity, Zhou Zhiming is much better than Qiao Zhen, and he is also beautiful.As for Qiao Zhen, it's not ugly, the main reason is that she has a bad temperament, she is effeminate, and she is not as good-looking as his younger brother Qiao Li.Qiao Li is a completely different type of person, a cynical playboy who is never in shape except when dancing, and he is only a dance fan.Not only can he dance old-school polkas and waltzes, but he can also dance tango and rumba, and he even performed a disco today.Disco isn't really pretty, but he dances like that.This kid’s cleverness is all used in this, he can dance, he can also speak, what rhythm, melody, footwork, a set of familiar treasures, he can tell that tango is from Argentina, rumba is from Cuba, Samba originated in Brazil, and Cripso was born in Haiti.This kind of person, a playboy, has no real knowledge at all.But for some reason, on the one hand, she looked down on them, but on the other hand, she always hung out with them. If they didn't come for a long time, she would also feel an inexplicable sense of loneliness.Birds of a feather flock together, people form groups, maybe there is always something in me that agrees with them.It can be said that Lu Yuanchao couldn't understand them completely, and when he saw her with them, his face drooped. Although he never interfered with her personal relationship openly, men always hope that their women will be quieter and more dedicated. , this is not a bad thing for women, at least it means that he loves you, otherwise, whoever you are with! "Big Qiao" and "Little Qiao" all wondered how she would find such a bookworm like Lu Yuanchao. In fact, they didn't understand that Lu Yuanchao was not a sharp-edged person, but he was sophisticated and scheming. Extremely deep, the bookish air on his body is just a superficial phenomenon, and the superficial phenomenon is not the essence, or even the opposite of the essence.A man has to have a calm demeanor, and what annoys her the most is that kind of man who makes a fuss! "Yes, I should call him. If he doesn't drop me off tomorrow, how can I carry the suitcase?" She walked out of the room, went to the corridor, and called Lu Yuanchao's office in Factory 941, but he was not there. "Out? Where did you go?" she asked into the receiver. "His mother fell ill again and was just sent to the hospital. I'm afraid she won't be able to go to work for a few days." A colleague of Lu Yuanchao replied patiently. As expected, as soon as he asked him for help, he would have something to do. She asked the receiver a little annoyed, "Where's his brother? His brother is staying at home, why didn't he take the old lady to see a doctor?" The other party was a little upset, "Then how do I know, hello, who are you?" "Forget it." She hung up the phone irritably. Look at the time, it's still early for dinner.I feel a little itchy, I should take a shower and change clothes before I leave.She went back to the bedroom to get a big towel, and pushed open the door of the living room. "Uncle Joe is here." She greeted the guests first, and then said, "Dad, I'll take a bath." "Hey, Honghong didn't go to work?" Uncle Qiao always said in such an affectionate tone. "She asked for leave from the factory and wanted to go to Beijing to test the Central Opera House. Her mother asked someone to contact her." Dad said. "Hey, didn't you say that our Nanzhou Song and Dance Theater already wants you?" Uncle Qiao opened his mouth wide as soon as he spoke. "Her, one mountain looks higher than another. If you want me to say, it's good to be a warehouse keeper in a factory. Warehouse management is also a profession. If you do it well, you can also make achievements for the country." "Hahaha," Uncle Joe laughed, but it was very hearty, "Young people nowadays are not as easy to be satisfied as our old men. My two children are also like this. The living conditions are so good, and they always look like this." I’m not used to it, it doesn’t go well, I complain all day long, I’m not satisfied, young people are like this. Ah, when are you going to Beijing?” "Leave tomorrow morning. Dad. Yuanchao can't deliver it to me tomorrow. The package that Mom asked Uncle He to bring is full of wine and apples. It's so heavy that I can't lift it." "Tomorrow, is the direct train at 7:15 in the morning?" Uncle Joe interjected again, "Exactly, I'm going to pick up someone at the station tomorrow morning, I'll ask the car to make a turn here and pick you up. " "Uncle Joe is going to the station too? What a coincidence, thank you Uncle Joe." The two old men continued their conversation, and she went through Dad's bedroom and into the bathroom.It's disgusting, how the house was designed in the first place, the bathroom is located in the innermost part, and it's really inconvenient to take a shower through the living room and Dad's big bedroom.However, the hot air pipes are connected from the nearby factories, so hot water is readily available. She adjusted the water to be a little hotter than usual, stood under the nozzle, and let the slightly scalding hot water drip down her shoulders for a long time. She had just danced for half a day, and now she was scalded with hot water, which really relieved her fatigue. Uncle Joe was still there, talking to Dad in the living room. The bedroom door was open, and his voice could be heard clearly in the bathroom. "I went to listen to the discussion in the group of the Municipal Public Security Bureau yesterday." Uncle Qiao's voice was as thick and bright as a polyphonic phrase. During the "Gang of Four" period, all counter-revolutionaries were caught. Counter-revolutionaries really became a vast ocean. There was no one to control social security, and there was no law to follow. After a while, the central government promulgated the law, and it would be easy to handle. All things should be done according to the law. Laws are in black and white Ah, I think it's been so chaotic these years, the key is that there is no law." "There is no law to follow." Dad's voice was much softer. "By the way, I forgot to tell you, Mengmeng won't come back for dinner tonight." "Oh, you saw her today?" "Qiao Zhen called me and told me. He was approved to join the party today, and he invited a few classmates to dinner at the Sichuan Restaurant, and specially invited Mengmeng." "Joining the party, why do you still want to invite guests?" "Cough, didn't they find an excuse to beat the teeth, hahaha, we old men don't care about young people's affairs." About young people, hmph, Uncle Joe can speak after all, but Dad didn't hear the subtext, and was still sighing blindly. "Young people nowadays are really amazing. In the 1950s, how could they dare to go to the restaurant by themselves? I went to Jiuxianju once two days ago, and the tables were filled with half-sized ones. Children, go to eat in groups, and ask for a lot of good food. If you can’t eat enough, just throw it away, the 'Gang of Four' ruined a generation of young people, it is really incredible." Dad always said the same cliché, "Children of the Eight Banners, it's amazing," it was purely preaching.Now young people don’t want to be happy by themselves, who will be happy? After work, there is no place to play. Look at the broken movie in our country... She turned off the tap and started to soap herself. In the bathroom Immediately there was a strong fragrance.Zhou Zhiming, who is in prison, doesn't know what's going on now.Xiaomeng has been writing to him, but has not received a word of reply. She is really a passionate woman. Now that she is in college, she probably can't care about such things anymore.Although Qiao Zhen has a superficial side, he is still a college student. His family education and living habits are the same as ours.I don't know if Xiaomeng belongs to him in his heart.Don't look at Xiaomeng who is usually docile and honest, but in fact she is really stubborn, and she doesn't listen to anyone who says what she is sure about, as evidenced by her trip to Xinhe.In the past few years, I have also cling to a purpose: sympathize with the weak.Compassion for the weak has become a fashion nowadays. Everyone feels pity for anyone who is unlucky and suffers. This is also a sequela of the "Cultural Revolution". bad guy.Those who make people suffer resentment, and those who are made feel sympathized with, it can be said that people have the same heart and the same reason.However, Xiaomeng's extreme and absolute sympathy for the weak has almost become a big quirk of hers. "Old Shi, I'm leaving. Ah, my wife has said several times, when will I invite you to taste her specialty dishes." "If you have time, I'll go see her." The footsteps sounded a few times, and then stopped again, "Old Qiao, there is one more thing. It turns out that there is a man named Zhou Zhiming in the Municipal Public Security Bureau, er——, do you know his situation?" "Zhou Zhiming..." "They were arrested and sentenced during the 'Gang of Four' period. I don't know if they have been re-examined. I asked Ma Shufeng last time, and he said to investigate, but he hasn't told me yet." "Oh, that person, I remember the comrades in the court mentioned that he did not belong to the group of people wrongly arrested in the square incident, so he was not included in the scope of the last release. He seems to have committed... a dereliction of duty. I don’t know how to cover up the bad guys, but it’s a criminal offense anyway. The comrades in the court said that last time they went to Zixinhe Farm to review the case, they heard a report from a cadre there that he tried to instigate prisoners to escape and riot during the earthquake relief period. , I don’t know if it was verified later. This kind of problem should be punished. Uh——, if you are concerned about this matter, I will directly ask the labor reform bureau. , the manpower is very tight now, and unjust, false and wrongly convicted cases have to be filed one by one. I'm afraid it won't be finished in a few years. Some people are rushing to the limelight and clamoring to reverse the case even though they made mistakes. The situation is very complicated." The footsteps sounded again, and the voice moved out of the living room and disappeared into the corridor. Hot water poured down from her head again and again, and snow-white soap foam spread under her feet. She dried herself, wrapped herself in a large woven towel, walked out of the bathroom with her hair loose, and went back to her room. The mirror on the closet reflected her figure that was beginning to gain weight, and her face that had just been soaked in hot water was flushed. She rubbed her eyes, not sure if it was swollen or had lacrimal sacs, and the flesh around her eyes seemed a little redundant.真是人未老，色已衰了，将近而立之年还是一事无成。这次去京投考是缠了妈妈一个月的结果。妈妈就恨不得女儿都跟她一样，一辈子碌碌无为，总想把她那个自得其乐的人生观在后辈们身上推而广之，好像女人的本分只是成为男人的助手，帮助男人在事业上有所成就。妈的知识有限，可在这方面，却能信口举出许多中外名人的例子，她的那副自鸣得意神态，就像爸爸能坐上现在这个职位全是出于她的功劳似的，其实她若不是挂了块市委政法书记爱人的头牌，妻以夫贵，还不是什么都没有吗？她反正是决意不走母亲的路子的。她不想做达尔文的妻子埃玛那种贤妻良母型的女人，把自己的全部精力牺牲在丈夫的事业上，她为什么不能像居里夫人？卢援朝有卢援朝的事业，她有她的事业。如果这次能考上中央歌剧院，就可以再设法把卢援朝也调到北京，丈夫做翻译家，妻子做歌唱家，相得益彰，互不辱没。要是能出国就更好了，上次乔笠领来的那个建国，他女朋友就自费留学走了，现在走的可真不少。妈是连南州也不愿意让她离开的，简直像个封建老地主，恨不得一辈子不出村子，不过也难怪，人上了岁数，当然最怕膝下荒凉的孤独晚景。可自己也得为自己考虑呀，虽说市歌舞剧院已经答应录取了，但倘若可以争取到更好的地位，为什么不呢？国家歌剧院，这在外国可不得了，英国皇家歌剧院的演员一小时挣七十英镑，社会地位极高。现在的事算看透了，过去把成名成家、个人奋斗批得一钱不值，现在又怎么样？还不是人往高处走，水往低处流。这三十年，就这么变来变去，把人们都给变聪明了，什么这个那个的，全是虚的，没本事就得被社会淘汰，弱则愈弱，强则愈强，亏了前几年她没犯傻，还学了点儿声乐，要不然，还不就得在仓库窝一辈子！ 天色暗了，妈妈也从医院回来了，就着晚饭吞了一大把红红白白的药片。妇女病、冠心病、腰肌劳损，以前在小破房里住着的时候也没那么多病。他们那个出版社倒是恢复了建制，可她也成了长期病号，索性不上班了。 为了控制体重，晚饭她照例没敢吃太饱，回到房中收拾了一下准备随身带着的东西，不觉有了点儿困意了。 小萌果然没回来吃晚饭，乔真也真肯下功夫，爸爸不知对小萌的事持什么态度，他好像还挺关心那个周志明的，也许是小萌托他问的，也未可知。难道她还在留恋着他吗？这也未免太不实际，退一步讲，就算他是冤假错案，将来平反了回来，可在监狱那种地方染了两年多，还不知道变成了什么德行呢。有时候，环境对人的造就简直是不可抗拒的。他会变得粗野、冷酷、委琐不堪，说不定还学会了偷、骗、流，都是未可知的事，在那种地方，谁也保不住一身清白。可小萌往往想不到这些，在她脑子里，周志明还是那个朴朴实实、漂漂亮亮的形象，真是不实际。 “算了，由她去吧，我也不管那么多了，自己的事还管不过来呢。早点儿睡吧，明天还得早起，乔叔叔不会忘了接我吧？可别误了我的火车。” 这一天正是北方特有的那种秋高气爽的天气。车窗外，天空湛蓝耀眼，初升的太阳把收割后的田野照射得一片灿烂，她的胸臆也格外豁朗起来。 这间软卧包厢里，连她只有两个乘客，一个四十多的男人坐在她的对面，衣冠楚楚的像是个华侨。车一开他就埋头看报纸，一张《人民日报》把脸遮得严严实实的。 乔叔叔很准时，一早就用车子把她带到了车站，还介绍她认识了这趟列车的列车长。列车长大约有四十岁了，生了一副广东人的高颧骨，听说她是市委政法书记的女儿后，便爽快地把她领进了软卧车厢，安排了一个铺位。 这是她第一次坐进软卧车厢，一种新鲜的舒适感充满心头，她竭力做出一副无所谓的神态，压制着不让这种快感露在脸上，可脑子里却不由生出许多杂乱无章的联想来，思绪无端地跳来跳去，一忽儿想到里刘姥姥进荣国府，一忽儿想到这一年来随着爸爸政治上的翻身而在她的生活中发生的种种变化，一忽儿又想到文革初期，她甩着两条小辫子跟着串联大军挤在南来北往的火车上浩浩荡荡闯天下……哼哼，那时候坐火车的情形与现在是多么迥然的两样，像她这么大的女孩子，要是不依赖一帮男同学的帮助，几乎就没法从火车的窗口爬上车去。在肮脏的车厢里，所有空间都饱和地利用起来，连行李架上都躺着人，在从北京到上海的那次“远征”中，她和另一个女同学占领了车厢里的厕所，在里面足足松快了两个多小时，任凭人们在外面把门擂得砰砰响。后来每每向别人学说这段“喜剧素材”时，她对自己当时在厕所里那种心安理得的描绘，总能引起听者的捧腹大笑。她望着眼前宽大明亮的车窗，望着车窗两旁垂挂下来的勾针窗帘，望着铺了雪白台布的桌面上那盏考究的台灯，似乎怎么也体会不出当年挤火车时那种浪漫的激情和乐趣来了。她用皮鞋的高跟蹭了蹭地，红色的地毯又厚又软，再也不是那种湿漉漉、黏糊糊的感觉了。那划时代的一切确实都已经过去了，成为一个不堪回首的梦。 “不妨碍您吗，同志？”对面的中年人掏出一根香烟，彬彬有礼地冲她笑着说。 “不不，”她连忙摆摆手，“我不在乎烟，我爸爸就抽得很凶，我熏惯了。”她边说边注意地端详了他一眼。 中年人穿了一身浅色的西装，高高的鼻梁上架着一副档次很高的金丝眼镜，身材魁梧，面容却很斯文。他嘴里轻轻地喷出一股带甜味儿的烟雾，笑容可掬地放下报纸，向她问道： “您是去北京？” “是的。先生也去北京吗？”她还是头一次使用“先生”这一称谓，所以说得有点儿生疏别扭。 “啊啊，”那人点点头，大概是被她的客气影响了，没有再称她同志。 “小姐是南州人吧？在哪个部门工作呀？” “我在南州９４１厂工作。” “９４１？啊，是保密工厂吧？”中年人夸张地做出一个神秘的表情。 “咳，什么保密不保密的，就那么回事吧，卫星时代，什么密呀，没密！” “哈哈哈，”中年人笑起来，“小姐说话蛮有意思呀。您这是去出差吗？” “不是，北京的中央歌剧院想收我，叫我去试试嗓子。” “啊，怪不得听您的声音很好听，原来是学过声乐的。” 中年人说话热情而有礼貌，给人一种自然的亲切感，她很快摆脱开拘束，轻松地同他攀谈起来。 “先生是华侨吧？” “不是，我是外籍华人。” “来旅游？” “不，我是里克贸易公司派驻南州市的代表，我姓冯。”中年人从上衣袋里取出一张名片递过来，“小姐贵姓？” 她很不习惯地接过名片，“姓施。” 整个一上午都在轻松愉快的闲谈中晃过去了，中年人性格开朗，谈锋很健。谈风景，谈气候，从南州说到维也纳，还谈了音乐，谈了外国的歌剧院和音乐学院，从当代十大女高音到风靡世界的“猫王”和“硬壳虫”乐队，所谈的话题几乎都是她感兴趣的，她的话也因此多起来。 “没想到冯先生对音乐还是个行家。” “噢！那可谈不上，我只是比较喜欢一点儿罢了。施同志什么时候登台演出，我要能赶上机会一定去欣赏。”他不知不觉又称她为同志了。 “看这次考试情况吧，我估计问题不大。”她心神怡然地笑着。中午，一个年轻列车员走进他们的包厢，通知他们现在可以去餐车用餐，小伙子说话的时候，看也不看她，只把脸冲向西服革履的中年人，显然是表示正式的软卧乘客只是他。一股强烈的羞辱感和自卑心胶和在一起从她的灵魂深处冒出来，以前，即便是在当走资派子女的时候，她在精神上也从来没有这样自卑过。 餐车对硬席车厢的午餐供应已经结束了，铺了白塑料布的餐桌被擦得干干净净，又摆上了花瓶和各色水酒。这趟车的软席乘客寥寥无几，所以大部分餐桌都空着。 这是她头一回跟“外国人”一道吃饭，中年人要了一个辣子鸡丁，一个焖大虾，还要了冷盘和酒，菜不多，可两个人吃富富有余。 在她的那帮朋友中，有不少人和外国人有交往。现在交外国朋友也成了时尚，全不像过去那样躲躲闪闪，生怕沾上“洋”字惹是生非了。连过去人们谈虎色变的“海外关系”如今也成了值得四处宣扬的荣耀，甚至成了谈恋爱的价码，别管是什么丑八怪，只要国外有亲戚，立即就会身价百倍，对方也得刮目相看，真是此一时彼一时啊。连不少干部子弟也纷纷往外国人的圈子里钻营了，乔笠就在南州饭店被外国人请过两次，以后便常在众人面前津津乐道那桌面上的奢费和排场，还有吃西餐的那一套绅士规矩，什么喝汤不能出声响啊，餐刀不能入口啊；骨头不能嚼碎呀，擦嘴要“拭”而不能“抹”啊。过去，她一听到乔笠这类吹嘘就感到厌恶，觉得他很下贱，而现在，当冯先生向她端起斟满暗红色葡萄酒的玻璃杯时，她一下子又觉得乔笠也是可以原谅和理解的了。 旅途时间不知不觉地过去，她很愉快。 列车开过了丰台站，她收拾好自己的东西，把手提包放在了床上。中年人又点起一支烟，半仰着脸专注地听着喇叭里对北京名胜古迹的介绍，听了一会儿，对她问道：“施同志对北京熟吗？” “熟，太熟了，我以前在北京住过很长一阵呢。” “噢，我想求你一件事，不知可以不可以？” 一个下意识的迟疑在她脑子里闪现了一下，但很快就消失了。自从爸爸出来工作以后，她已经记不清有多少八杆子打不上的“认识人”来求她帮忙办事了。她早烦透了那一副副讨好的笑脸和殷勤的吹捧。可这会儿，虽然还不清楚对方所求何事，但光凭这个人，她也是乐于出力的。 “那怎么不可以，”她说，“我能办的一定尽力。” “我这次除了办几件公事之外，主要想到北京各处名胜玩玩，可人生地不熟，施同志要有空闲的话，能不能帮我做个向导，我们一起转一转？” “这个呀，没问题，准能叫您满意。”她很快活地答道。 “我在前门饭店下榻，唔——，怎么找你呢？” 她思索了一下，“我住在我爸爸一个老战友家，他家有电话，”她从自己的电话条上撕下一页纸，写上电话号码，又写上自己的名字，递给他，“打这个就行。” “唉，”中年人收起电话来，不无感慨地说：“回到祖国快两个月了，事事都觉得很习惯，就是有一点受不了，没有朋友，太孤单了，想找个说说话的人都难啊。将来你要是一个人出国，准有体会的。”“我还能出国？”她脱口问了这么一句。 “怎么不能，我想准会有机会的。啊，要是到了外面，我可以做你的向导。” “冯先生的夫人也在国外？” “夫人？啊，我们早分开了。”他简短地答着，并未加任何解释。列车徐缓地驶进了北京车站，站台上挤满了接客的人群。她下了车，身体被奔来挤去的人来回撞着，回头望望，紧挨在身后下车的中年人已被拥挤的人流淹没。她的胳膊渐渐吃不住手提包的重量，疼得有点儿发麻了，头上刺痒痒地出了汗，她索性放下手提包，伸手到兜里去摸手绢，摸到的却是一张硬纸片，拿出来一看，原来是冯先生的名片，在车上她只是仓促地晃了一眼，这时不由仔细看起来。 “欧洲里克贸易公司派驻中国南州市办事处代表，冯汉章。”哼，冯先生告诉过她，所谓办事处其实就是他一个人，再下面呢？“地址：南州饭店七一二房间，电话：４４０７１。”名片的另一侧写的是外文，她看不懂，便将它揣回兜里，掏出手绢一边擦汗，一边向左右张望着。 “何伯伯他们家没接到电报吗？这么沉的东西，一大半是给他们带的，也不来接，真讨厌！”她烦躁地用手绢在鼻尖上来回扇着凉风。 “嘿，季虹姐姐！”随着一声尖细的叫喊，她的肩头重重地被人拍了一下，回头一看，一个二十多岁的高个子姑娘站在眼前。 “玲玲！”她惊喜地叫起来，“我一猜就是你来，收到我妈妈的电报了吗？” “没收到我怎么会来？”玲玲是何伯伯的小女儿，像个运动员一样结实，她一把抢过提包，笑哈哈地说：“你什么时候烫的头？真变样儿了，我都不敢认了。” “越变越丑了吧？” “得了，越变越洋了。哈哈哈……”玲玲旁若无人地大笑，她的性格同她粗放的外表倒是极为相似。 她们出了检票口，在车站右侧坐上了二十路公共汽车。汽车转了两个弯，便拐上了宽阔的长安大街，她的心怀也为之一宽。 也许用不了多久，她就会离开那光线暗淡、令人窒息的配件仓库，成为北京国家歌剧院的一名演员，也许，每天上班下班都能在这条世界上最宽最长的大街上往返。她把视线向车窗外伸展出去，坦荡笔直的长安大街仿佛展示着她的广阔未来，歌剧院现代化的排练厅在眼前一跳一跳的——崭新的练功架，巨型的大镜子，那镜子像个宽银幕似的占了一面墙……将来总会有机会上电影的，她最适合那种自唱自演的角色，还有……咳，不用想那么多了，只要进了那个金光闪闪的门槛，凭她的天赋和刻苦，将来在事业上有所建树是不难的。对了，还可以出国，作为中央直属表演艺术团体，出国的机会决不会少。重要的是得控制住别再胖下去了，演歌剧不同于独唱，形体和嗓子是一样要紧的……出国，哦，小时候还以为哪儿都没中国好，现在，真他妈想出去看看……他们一般在哪里演出呢？天桥剧场还是民族宫？ ... 她知道这些乱七八糟的幻想，实际上都是八字没一撇的事情。但幻想并不是坏事，特别是她，现在正是需要幻想的时候，幻想常常会成为奋斗和起飞的动力，人没有幻想就完了。 当然，幻想有时也会被现实击碎。在何伯伯家安顿下来以后，她第二天便按照妈妈给的地址找到了中央歌剧院。这是一座挺大的院子，大门口还有两个解放军战士在站岗，她的心激动得怦怦跳起来。 “到底是国家级剧院，门口还设了岗。”她津津有味地琢磨着，顺着院子里一条弧形的马路来到剧院的楼门前，不由得呆住了。