Chapter 3 Chapter 1 Extended Tank Cart or Fishermen

...It rained, it rained heavily that day, seven days and seven nights, or five days and five nights, maybe three days and three nights, or more, less, he couldn't remember.He only remembered that it was a kind of heavy rain that was rare in the Adak Kuduk Wasteland for thousands of years.The semen of the rain, the madness of the rain, the advance of the rain, the trembling and twitching of the rain, it was as if someone had thrown the gray-white Alungu Lake into the sky and then turned it over violently.As a result, one thousand and ten thousand Populus euphratica fell at the same time.A thousand or ten thousand male wolves raised their heads and howled at the same time.A thousand and ten thousand mountaintops collapsed from the cloud-covered midair at the same time.A thousand and ten thousand tribes gathered in front of the totem poles of their respective temples at the same time, facing the rising of the fire and the sun, stomping the soles of their brass bracelets, brass bells and brass arrow sets.twist.As a result, Adak Kuduk, which has been drought for thousands of years, was infested with water.It is full of pits and valleys.Black, yellow, brown, chestnut and reddish mud soup gushes out from the pits and valleys.The flood swirled and swirled.The steep bank collapsed.The grass roots are fat and white again...

He remembered that he did not stop in front of the village slaughterhouse that day.At that moment, the rain slowed down slowly and gradually became smaller.When the car arrived at the door of the house, he really thought about jumping out of the car immediately, rushing into the house, looking for his father, and telling him to shake things off in front of the whole family.But he doesn't do that.Can't do it.He is so tired.After driving so many roads in the rain, he was so tired that he couldn't move at all like a puddle of mud.The tendon on the back of the spine stiffened the back of the neck, became rough, and throbbed with pain.The lower half of his body was also completely lost.He couldn't even get his feet, which had been crossed all the time, to come out of the bent legs.He had no choice but to bend down the neck that was as thick as a kimchi jar, let his bulging head drop heavily to the middle of his crotch, and took a deep breath.The rain dripped icy cold from the back of his head and the back of his spine.His rough, dark brown skin, like rawhide, was scalding hot, and when the rain splashed on it, it immediately steamed with a sour and smelly heat.

Later, he asked his elder sister to boil the bath water for him.There is a bathtub specially prepared for men to use at home.This bucket has a deep body and a small mouth.He dipped in it, and as soon as he sat down, the hot pepper water poured over his generous lips.In the bathroom, the stove was burning scarlet.The fire wall is too hot to touch.Water vapor filled the air.He is dizzy.Can't breathe.Sweating profusely poured out.He begins to collapse.When I got up early and left Laomanbao City that day, I only ate two mouthfuls of Yumo left over from the night, and I didn't make up for it at noon or night.It's not that there are no restaurants or food stalls along the way, but that he is not willing to spend the money.I don't want to waste time either.It's just that when feeding the horses, I chew two handfuls of raw corn beans together to make me feel hungry.

Later, if he hadn't heard that strange voice again, he would have died in the bathtub that day.At that time, his whole body had already collapsed limply towards the bottom of the barrel.Water blocked the nostrils.He couldn't push them away.want to shout.But apart from Ha Jin's more prickly ash water, there was no sound at all.Weary hands scratched wildly.The whole chest seemed to be filled with oil cotton that was already on fire, and it was so oppressive that it was about to explode. He knew that he was going to die, but he refused to let go of this last breath, and just clenched his teeth tightly.He was wronged.want to cry.Thinking of this family, the useless father, everything he had just started... He felt that no matter what he could not let this last breath of relief...

Just then, he heard the voice.That's right.is it.Urgent, rumbling, like a muffled old drum, and like Chen Lei who has been buried behind Wangdel Mountain for many years and is ready to go.It carried a kind of resentment and an irresistible momentum, piercing through the wall of the barrel.He knew it, but had never heard what it was muttering.Never knew exactly what it was calling him to do.I can't figure out where it came from, why it keeps following him.I only know that after hearing it once, I always want to hear it.It cannot be said that it is a woman's voice.But he did want to hear it.Sting it.He always felt that it was telling him to follow it, and he wanted to follow it.He really hopes that there is such a thing that can be the master of his life, even if it is just a voice.Now it's at it again.It's not happy.Buzzing flushed, clenched fists (if it had fists).It muttered, reproached him solemnly, and asked him to follow it again.As if he saw his own mother, he shook up, turned around suddenly at the bottom of the bucket, kicked his legs like a carp, and grabbed the mouth of the bucket with all his strength, just like that, with a clatter and a clatter. The face of the water, drilled out from the bottom of the bucket to save a little life.

Later, when the eldest sister came to clean up the bathroom, seeing his pale face, she asked, what's wrong?He didn't say anything.He couldn't tell.After leaving the bathroom and entering the long black corridor, he turned his head to find the voice.Can't stop looking back.But there is no more sound.Only the door of the bathroom was opened with a narrow gap, leaking a flat piece of oily yellow light, and also the sound of my sister's old wire brush brushing the tub. Xiao Tianfang went to the Laomanbao United Team two years ago to fill a vacancy, and became a joint defense soldier who could earn a few pocket money every month in addition to food and clothing.

A few days ago, the wing had a new commander named Zhu Guiling.Thin skin and tender flesh, wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses.After studying at the Royal Academy of Military Engineering in Mumbai, India for six years, he brought back a wife with a little dark skin and a pair of twin boys with not too dark skin.One day, Commander Zhu suddenly called Xiao Tianfang to his home, suddenly inquired about his life experience, and suddenly said that Tianfang's family had lived in Laomanbao for many years.What surprised Tian Fang especially was that Commander Zhu said, at that time, your father was the commander of this regiment.Although there were far fewer soldiers in the regiment at that time, your father took care of everything, big and small, in his own hands.Bili.What, he never told you at all?At that time, I was under his command, and I was just a worthless secretary palace, only receiving the title of trainee officer!Commander Zhu said so.

Xiao Tianfang didn't believe it.He remembered that Xiao's family lived at home in Laomanbao City.He was five years old that year.Maybe even smaller.He couldn't believe it, and couldn't believe what Commander Zhu said at the end.He was afraid that Commander Zhu would tease him.Just like the former commander "Old Dog Head", he always likes to find an excuse and ask a few recruits to come to his house to mess around~ for fun.But looking closely at Commander Zhu in front of him, it didn't look like he was messing around. Commander Zhu disliked the slightly flattened Chinese-character face. Although a smile with unclear meaning was evenly distributed at this time, the expression in his eyes clearly focused on concern and inquiry.His thin lips parted slightly, exuding gentleness, and his sharp outline, coupled with the neatly trimmed black beard on his lips, always reveal a lot of open-mindedness and wisdom in his handsome appearance, as well as a little A sensitivity that is somewhat worrying.His strange hands, resting quietly on his chest, slightly arched at the back, fingers touching fingers, remained so motionless throughout the conversation.He leaned back in the wide leather armchair, crossed his feet, put them on the writing table, and stretched out far away, looking very casual and serious.He asked Xiao Tianfang to be more casual.Find a chair and sit down.Alternatively, dilute pineapple juice from an ice bucket.In short, you can do whatever you want.But Xiao Tianfang didn't dare.He still stood up straight.Lean your upper body forward slightly.His eyes were fixed on the commander, and he clung to the palm of his trouser leg, but he was sweating.

He couldn't believe what Commander Zhu said, but he couldn't believe it...he wanted to clarify it. The rain was getting smaller and smaller, and finally there was only a small and even sound of dribbling, moving from far to near.Big balls of cold moisture, from the back of the sticky black old house, spread over the wide and low roof, and covered the empty yard, pouring into the air with the same cold morning wind. Stretch around.The old elm tree is still so strong and dark.Weeds grow up to the window sill.Rusty horse-drawn farm implements were scattered among the grass.Sections of the fence woven of tree slats fell sideways in the puddle.Two black donkeys are tied to the back gable.Four wolf dogs that he had raised since he was a child rushed out and threw themselves on his shoulders, expressing their affection.He didn't expect that they still remembered him.When I saw him, I was so restless.

This is home? He couldn't move his feet. He had tried his best to put it back together.He is so powerful.In Hatjragiri village, there is no other man who is as strong as he is, no young boy who will put his heart and soul into his home like him.The boards used for tiles on the roof were all hewed out with one blow with an axe.Wooden boards for tiles cannot be cut with a saw.The sawn board is fuzzy, stagnant, easy to retting.If the plane is pushed again, there will be one more procedure, which will take a lot of effort.Therefore, in many villages by the Alungu Lake, to do this work, they directly use an ax to chop, and sharpen the blade of Fenggang to be extremely thin and bright.Tian Fang thought that the rain was coming from the source of the Atuo River. For seven days and seven nights, the dark clouds seemed to block the windows. , the only place for younger brothers and sisters to go is to stay honestly in the big house behind the hill.He thought that the planks he had cut would allow them to escape the flood that would have half-submerged even the front hillside.The weeds in his yard and the smelly water in the pigsty were ground into powder with saltpetre and sulfur, and they were picked from the steep wall of the Dagangou to pick the scarlet yellow pearl fruit, and they were mixed together to cure pigs. Epilepsy on the baby.He cleaned the cellar and repaired table legs.Holding the blunderbuss in his hand, he stayed under the pile of firewood on the side of the trough all night long, beating the ugly black badgers, refining the ugly oil, and treating burns.He bulged out the lumps of meat all over his body to make the black and date red pickled fish wooden barrel...

At that time, he was fourteen... fifteen... sixteen years old... and when he was seventeen, he had to leave.He didn't hate and despise his father's uselessness from the very beginning.No.For a long time, he didn't feel that his father was useless.It's just that I can't tell what kind of person my father is.When he was eager to know what kind of "something" his father was, but he couldn't figure it out, and he clearly felt that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't change the current situation of the family. had to go. ... Tian Fang is short, and his father is a head taller than Tian Fang.Similarly, Tian Fang's hands and face are always smudged, but his father always looks fresh and clean.He doesn't gamble.For cigarettes and alcohol, you can live with it, and you can live with it if you don’t.No headache.Don't be greedy for them.He likes dolls.He often deliberately tosses the "mud monkeys" and "yaps" in the village, including his three girls and three boys (he doesn't make fun of it. Never).He liked to hear them chirping and chirping.Twist.He never hits dolls.Brothers and sisters often get slapped by Tianfang instead of sticks from their fathers.In this family, there is an old man with a sullen face, like a tax policeman, who always behaves for his younger siblings. He is not a father, but Tianfang.Dad has a good appetite.Also has a good strength.He pickled fish well.This move, on the banks of Arungu Lake, is definitely a remarkable thing.Although they are all grown-up fish, he can give you more than ten or twenty kinds of flavors in the word "salty" made out of a handful of salt.There is another hand, which is also very good.His salted fish are not spoiled and can withstand storage.How long has it been stored? The fish doesn't like to be dry, not stiff, it's always so oily and twisted, it's moist, and it's fragrant and red.He loves to do things for people.He does things for others, intending to relieve his boredom.But his "boring son" is really authentic.For example, you ask him to make a crate to store some noodles and beans.Turning around, his interlocking noses are all in place.There is a partition fan inside, instead of beans and noodles, red beans and black beans are mixed.After putting on the putty, sand it with sandpaper, and ask your sons to carry it to your door.The rest of the painting is up to you.He didn't have that much money, and the oil tank was very expensive to paint. A tank that was about the same size as a person could see through it required several coats of oil.Paint is expensive and hard to buy.Even in Sauber County, there are not many goods in a year. Dad liked women more than anything else.He only loves to hang out with the old girls and widows in the village who are in their thirties and nodding their twenties.He never messed around with them outside.He called them home.He has a wooden bed.Big planks.big legs.As wide as a stage.He laid straw mattresses, felt blankets, and sheets under the bed, prepared a copper basin for water, a mirror case for combing hair, and the decades-old British blanket.He likes to stuff those women under this big wooden bed to do his good work.No one knew why he refused to do it in bed, let alone why he did it in his own home.Mother can't control him.She was old, sick, and with dazed eyes, she looked like a shriveled tin kettle that had been left on the roof for a hundred and eighty years.Dad never looks old.Father said that he mixed up with these women in order to give Tian Fang a blind date.But everyone knows that these women are much bigger than the sky.They only like to mess with Tian Fang's father. Dad doesn't care about the house.He is always improvising and making do.Weeds grow up to the windowsill.Potatoes are rotting in the cellar.Horse-drawn farm implements were rusting in the yard.The woodchuck skin on the shutters was shedding, matting, dripping, moldy, smelly... He didn't bother to clean it.He casually gave the sheepskin boxes that Tian Fang had managed to earn from Lao Manbao City to those rotten women who were in love with him.He doesn't care about anything.For a while, I didn't even open the windows of my house for several months.Grass grew on the window frame.Black hijabs, yellow hijabs, little girls wear red hijabs.He just loves it.The work in the field only waited for one kind of corn, and before he could do it, he left it alone, took a dog-skin mattress and tarpaulin, a small bag of pepper and salt, an iron fork, and picked up a piece of cake. If you don’t have an old goatskin jacket, go to the intersection of Alungu Lake and Aban River to catch fish.Once there, for how many days, the whole house was left to the mother who was getting more and more shriveled by the day, and Tian Fang who was getting more and more silent by the day. The saddest thing for Tian was that since he was a child, his father had nothing to say to him.Never had fun with him.He felt that in his eyes, he was just a good shovel, a loud talking donkey, a pile of dry wood that couldn't burn out, and a pool of dirty water that couldn't finish.To say that such a life is difficult, Tian Fang feels that nothing can be difficult for him; but to say that it is not difficult, he can only swallow these words in his stomach, with all the coldness and bitterness of it.Look at clusters of yellow clouds floating high in April, and behind you are patches of scorched land, stinking with smoky smoke.Decades later, when Xiao Dalai, the only son released that day, was tied up and tried in a special military court, he yelled, "Don't be like this...don't be like this...I've never been young...no...no! !" Tian Fang, who was listening in the court, spat out a mouthful of bright red blood with a sad "wow".He admires his son.This sentence is exactly what he has held back for decades, and he has always wanted to shout, but he has never known what to say; it is exactly the sentence he has always wanted to shout, but he has never been able to shout.Unexpectedly, it became the last words his son left to the world. Am I ever young?Later, Tian Fang thought so every day. If Dad really used to be a man with a straight back and a commanding officer, why did he act so recklessly?If Dad is really capable and worthy of the attention of the new commander, can you ask him to meet the commander, and take this opportunity to move the family to Laomanbao?This pair of mothers, younger siblings, and Xiao Tianfang's future future all have an important relationship... The first one to hear Tian Fang's knock on the door was the eldest sister.All along, she always felt that someone touched her in the middle of the night.Through the thin layer of round neck sleeveless underwear, I squeezed her bulging nipples vigorously.She is afraid.She couldn't push away those invisible but obviously hot hands.She woke up again and again.Sitting up suddenly covered in hot sweat, I realized it was a dream.But I always felt like I heard footsteps leaving.There was no one outside the old tent.She didn't know exactly what happened.She hated herself for having such dreams.But later, I often look forward to having such a dream.When I went to bed, I just stared blankly at the corner of the dark patched curtain, waiting for someone to dream.In deep sleep, it is easy to wake up. When the eldest sister heard clearly that the person outside was slapping her window panels, it was really heavenly, she desperately called out "Brother—" and rushed towards the window panels.She forgot that the shutters had already been crucified by her father, and he was afraid that some wild boy in the village would come and hold the window in the middle of the night.The three daughters of the Xiao family all live in this house. The eldest sister rushed out to beat the house where the younger brothers lived, and then came back and dragged the younger sisters up one by one.She was overwhelmed with joy, and panicked the whole family, but forgot the most important thing to do—to open the door to the sky.Tian Fang stood on the cool and damp wooden steps, listening to the chaos inside the door: the bench knocked over the wooden barrel, the whetstone fell into the chicken bowl, knowing that the straight-tempered eldest sister was confused again.He smiled knowingly, and without waiting any longer, he took out a pocket knife from the shaft of his boot, inserted it into the crack of the door, and opened the elm latch. The younger brothers and sisters stood in two rows in the narrow, dark aisle.All of them have disheveled hair and bare feet.The youngest seventh brother, Tianyi, was only four years old. He was clinging to the thigh of the eldest sister, holding the pants that were about to fall off, staring at the bald-headed man strangely with his big delicate eyes. Brother Soldier. The mother stood in the back impassively.Ever since the eldest sister yelled: "Brother is back—" her legs immediately went limp and kept trembling.She believed that Tian Fang would come back.Although the night he left, his grandfather and father fought a big battle.Tian Fang yelled and cried, saying that he would never return to this aggrieved home in this life, but she still believed that he would come back.She knew that he couldn't let go of this family in his heart.He was a piece of meat that fell from her body.No one knew him better than she did.She knew it in her heart, but she just refused to say it.Unable to speak.can not say it clearly.It doesn't matter what you say.She originally thought that she would have to wait at least ten or twenty years before seeing the eldest son again.She even thought that she would definitely not survive that day, but she never thought that this day is actually today... Tian Fang pushed away his younger brothers and sisters who came up to grab him and scratch him, stepped forward respectfully, called "Mother", and put a bulging military rucksack stuffed with things in front of her.Soon, the rain dripped from the rucksack.The muddy soup wet the large cracked floor in front of the mother.Only dad didn't show up.He should have heard the rumble caused by Tian Fang's return.The mud soup dripping from the rucksack also flowed to the door of his room in a short while, and sneaked in from under the threshold mischievously.The whole family could hear him fussing around the house, trying to stop the constant stream of muddy water.He should be able to see and smell that the muddy soup was brought from Old Manpu by the eldest son after a hard journey.It was nothing like what could be found on the shores of Lake Alungu.different colors.Different taste.But he just refused to come out.Tian Fang didn't dare to disturb the old man.He didn't want to trigger a big battle when he entered the door.It's not impossible.If this is the case, my mother will definitely be scared to death by the blatant fight between the two men who have been holding back for two years. At noon, there was finally some movement in Dad's room.The big bed shook.Cough with phlegm.It was as if someone were banging their heels against a small empty barrel. Pa had a rocking chair of his own.It is facing the window.You can see Arungu Lake, which is sometimes gray and sometimes black or light blue.When Tian went into the house, he was lying in the rocking chair, slowly chewing hot noodles and corn cakes. The big house is very empty, and there is no decent furniture, and there will be no decent furniture.Get rid of the two large wooden crates that held the grain (which stood there, about half the height of a person).There was only one long white leather table.Pa likes to tell fortunes to women with playing cards at this table.But he never tells fortunes to his wives and children.The workmanship of the long table is extremely rough.The so-called four legs are nothing more than four rough square logs, and it looks as if they have not been planed properly.Knock scars.Potholes. "father." Tian Fang called out respectfully, and didn't know how to continue.After a long while, he called out again. The rocking chair stopped rocking.The firewood placed in the brazier suddenly collapsed, rumbled and rumbled, thousands of sparks burst out, and clouds of smoke circled around.Afterwards, the rocking chair began to rock slowly again. Tian Fang felt embarrassed and depressed again.Blood gushed up all over his body.He fixed his eyes on the back of his father's gray head, and ordered himself to speak, but he just couldn't. After breakfast, his mother and eldest sister told him to take a good rest, and laid him a warm floor in the attic of the warehouse. The place was dark and quiet, so that he could sleep well.When he went, he really wanted to sleep, his bones and joints were heavy and sour as if they had been filled with lead.But just can't sleep.Tossing and turning unable to fall asleep, jumping up and getting dressed.Commander Zhu once said to him: "If you don't believe what I said, you can look for it carefully when you go back. I think, no matter what, your father will always leave some things from the past. In the past, when you were young, you didn't If you are familiar with the world, even if you see those things, you still don’t know what they mean. If you go and look at it now, you will probably be able to verify my words with these things that are generally unlikely to appear in the homes of ordinary people in your village.” Hatjelagiri Village was first built by a group of exiles who came from the mouth.In his early years, Father Tian Fang was an officer of the guard who escorted exiles to the Adak Kuduk Wasteland to serve his sentence.Not to mention Hatjelagiri Village, even Laomanbao City, the earliest residents were exiles and the guards who escorted them. "Hajjragiri" means "prison warden".This is a sentence in Russian.Back then, there were often "old men" who came here from the border to fish, pan for gold, dig asphalt mines, and find women.He wears high-waisted leather boots, a wide leather belt, and a tan linen robe over it, and carries with him a very well-decorated or very strong icon. There are still many "Kazakhs" in this area. What the commander means is that there must be things left in your house that neither the exiles nor the ordinary soldiers in the guard could have.Because at that time, Commander Zhu heard that Tian Fang's father lived a chic life in Kouli's hometown. He not only had the qualifications to graduate from a national high school, but also served as an enshrinement of the Nanhuo and Shanxihuo Trade Associations in the town, often in the town hall. walk around. Tian Fang went to search.On a beam rack on the roof of the pigsty shed, three or four large patent leather boxes were placed side by side.For camouflage, seventeen or eighteen layers of yellow paper and old newspapers from that era were pasted on the outside of the box.Tear down to the bottom layer, revealing the smooth, tough, soft maroon patent leather.Zhu Wenling's seal is printed on all the boxes, and the printed text is "lacquer Meng eighteen made by Chaoyuan Factory".It was probably signed by a famous craftsman at that time.At the bottom of the box, there is also a model made in the Yongle period of the Ming Dynasty.The decoration of the box cover is one of gold, another of piled red, and the third of mother-of-pearl.The patterns are divided into landscapes, flowers, birds and ladies.The boxes are full of antiques that are unrecognizable for a few days.For example, there is a box of purple clay teapots specially placed in it.Of course Tian Fang recognized the teapot.But the purple sand teapot, who grew up in the Adak Kuduk wasteland, did not understand its beauty at all.Of course, I don't even understand how rare and expensive the pots here are from the master pot makers of the Ming Dynasty, Gong Chun, Shi Dabin, and later Xu Youquan, Chen Yongqing, and Li Zhongfang.As for the three or two cricket pots with bamboo joints and double ears, he can't even say what they are used for.In Adak Kuduk there was only cockfighting, and sometimes hard-boiled eggs, but never cricketfighting.Great drought.No crickets. For another example, there is a box full of drama newspapers from that year.From the early years of the Qing Dynasty to the Republic of China. "The art of color and art is exquisite in acting, and the fruit of Langping Feixu's predecessor."There are those female characters whose stage names are "Rouxie", "Yunxie", and "Yuexie"... It is really rare to put on a pose, but also has a sense of direction.There are also opera newspapers posted by the badass in the Jiawu year of Qianlong when they sang operas.There are Tian Baoer, a Beijing opera singer who was at the same time as Bada, Wei San who sang Qin Opera, Chen Yinguan, a Sichuan native who is Wei San's apprentice, and Fan, who is famous for his performance of "Si Fan" and is known as a "demon". Great... From this stack of drama newspapers, you can even find traces of actors from Rugao's celebrities pretending to be in Pijiang's "Family with Pear Garden"... There is also a box of thread-bound books.It's all moth-eaten.Some are mothed into powder.Some have aged and become brittle and yellow, breaking into pieces when touched.Although some are still in shape, they are so densely covered with wormholes that they are actually sieves. You have such a status and family background, and you have these books, why didn't you teach us to know a word when you were young? Oh dad! He threw the box of books in front of Dad. The gray-white head resting on the back of the rocking chair remained motionless. What do you call me?daddy daddy... God cried out in his heart. Do you know how I spent the past two years in Laomanbao?I have nothing.I really have nothing but this stupid body and stupid hands brought out of my mother's womb.Why do you hide some of your abilities and refuse to show yourself in front of people, even in front of your children?In the past two years, I have felt sorry for you as a father. I left this family and left.Do you know what kind of life I live outside?I call myself a donkey fucked ass, who is not a human race.Can you hear the slightest bit of what I scolded?I was in the recruit team.I work as a errand for the "old dog head" family.I serve his silly nephew.I'll be his dumb cook's assistant.She hates that I can talk.She hates that I can talk.She wanted me to be like her, just work and not talk.At last I was able to work in those upper rooms in the inner room of "Old Dog's Head".I wipe the floor for them.Even in the end, I became the leader of the new recruit battalion, and I have managed three new recruit teams. I still went to his house to wipe it when I was on duty.I am still a silent dog in his family, a mop that can be used as I want.I even wipe more often than I used to.A little more willingness.I always let them see me kneeling, I don’t use a mop, I just use a big piece of linen, grab it with my hands, dip it in lye, and rub it vigorously, and wipe the floor of every upper room in the “Old Dog’s Head” house. All the wood grains were wiped out, so that they clearly appeared under the feet of every man and woman in the "Old Dog's Head" house, as clearly as every lump of meat on my back.Alkaline bites the hand.Bitten off ten fingers, biting out the blood that hurts me so much.I got into the belly of his table and wiped every root and every leg of the table.I wiped the footboards in front of each of the old dog's concubines' beds, and every pair of patent leather shoes and leather-soled padded slippers they put on the footboards.I had to polish the soles of every pair of their cowhide or patent leather shoes until I could lick them with my tongue.I pouted my ass and arched my waist.I wiped out the taste, wiped out the addiction.Once I don't wipe it, I feel uneasy.One time, it was time to ask me to wipe it, and he (or she) didn't come to call, so I murmured in my heart.I have to think about it, and I feel uncomfortable for a long time.Turning over and over again, I wondered where and what was wrong with me, and how I offended someone in their family.I rubbed desperately.Wipe their (their) copper spittoons, wipe their (their) copper urinals, wipe their (their) copper bed legs, copper lamp holders, copper censers, copper hot pots... I crawled in their rooms like a dog Crawl, more like a puppet in a shadow puppetry. I really want to smash my head to death counting balls on the legs of the copper bed that are never clean! But I still have to wipe. I still have to crawl. Who told me I’m just stupid You are so stupid! You are hiding it from me. My father. You could have let me deal with them with a different face and a different face. It is as big as this one, and it is so small that it is not as big as a kipper in our family. I deal with the spacious world, but you didn't do it...Why? Why are you so angry! I make you sick like that? I'm still your blood! My dear father !!! As soon as Tian Fang thought of the suffering he had suffered in Laomanpu, the tendon on the back of his spine became hard and rough again, and throbbed with spasmodic pain.This tendon tugged at the stem of his neck.This caused his head, which was as big as a pickle jar, to tilt to the right.The right half of the face has also become extremely perverse and terrifying.His right eye widened.The corner of the right half of his mouth was twitching non-stop.Half of the face was tightened, so that the whole right half of the body was burned hotly. He hurriedly lowered his head.He didn't want his father or anyone in the family to see him suddenly changing into this strange appearance, so he turned around, kicked a bench that just blocked his back, covered the half of his face, ran out. The black cold wind pierces people.Wooden steps trip people.The jujube trees on the hill turned into horse-hitting posts.He let them dance in front of him.Or gasp with them.Neither the dry horse manure nor the gray stone flakes could make him wake up and make a reasonable judgment to figure out where he wanted to go.Twelve earth castles are distributed on the ground with a radius of twelve kilometers.He often used these bunkers as wooden steps to his house.He often thought of stretching his feet far into the Arungu Lake.He misses the fishy smell of the water, the ice-clearness of the water, the ripples of the water, and the swaying of the water... He misses the reeds covering the sky and the earth by the Alungu Lake.So dense, quiet and open-minded...just not soft.Does not shrink.Do not dry out.Not lukewarm. Pa went up the wooden steps.Tian Fang didn't move. Dad put a bowl of sour wine brewed privately by Tian Fang's side. Sour with light brown foam.It was a wine as dark as ox blood. "I don't drink." Tian Fang stood up to leave. "Stay with me for a while." "I have no time!" Dad turned around and held him down.Father's hands are still very strong. "What else did the surname Zhu talk to you about?" "He is our commander now!" "The commander is a bird!" Dad roar. Tian Fang was stunned. Dad took out a purple clay teapot and put it at Tianfang's feet. "Bring this to Zhu for me. Just say thank you." "The commander can't figure out why you want to live like this and wrong yourself. They don't care about your urinal!" Tian Fang jumped up. Dad fell silent.His face turned blue instantly.I closed my eyes.He smashed the purple clay teapot, which was probably no more than an imitation, but still very expensive, with one punch.The fragments of the teapot bounced and spun one after another in the air.The grace of purple-brown pottery clay is simple, honest and smooth.The air has been completely dyed and transparent by the orange sunset glow. This night, naturally I couldn't sleep.What else can I do?He really wanted to strip himself naked and lie down in the yard like that.Take a bite of the bitter root.Early the next morning, he went to the cellar where the fish was stored and cleaned out the old barrels that had begun to rot.In the past two years, Tian Fang's father still pickled fish every year.Eat a little at home and sell a little.But as long as he has salted enough, he can earn back the next year's oil and salt money, cigarette money, cotton thread money and cloth money, he will never pick another catty, and he will never go to the market again.There are always buckets left over.It was made before Tianfang left home. The sky has just released some indigo, and the earth's atmosphere has been choked for several days, and the dry wetland has turned into a cloud of thick fog. From behind the forest, from the bend of the trough, and from the constantly surging surface of Alungu Lake , From the depths of dense clumps of reeds, to the low-humidity, high-dryness, ups and downs, places that like them or don't like them at all.Sometimes it is thin and soft, sometimes it is thick and sluggish, sometimes it carries a cool breeze, and sometimes it is so dull that it makes people convulsed and suffocated.Five steps away, it can make you see nothing.Within five steps, the large board houses and old elm trees all disappeared.The two haystacks closest to the cellar are struggling to reveal their dry yellow slope tops from the fog, and they seem to be floating wriggly, and are moving away very slowly with the fog... There is often such a thick fog in the old city of Manchuria.But I can't see such a clean fog.The fog there is always fouled with soot and brimstone. The first burst of mist pushed past, and then the next burst, it was much thinner.The wind is also gradually drying up.At this time, he suddenly heard a small and eager voice from the big haystack next to the barn after the death.There are also people's rapid breathing.Horse thief? He quickly grabbed a shovel, squatted down halfway, and moved little by little towards the place where the sound came from. This is a big haystack.They were piled up long, facing an open pasture, and bent into a half-arc.After one winter, many hollows were dug out among the haystacks, and some sections of the haystack couldn't stand up, so they tilted.In order to prevent it from collapsing, it is supported by some tree poles with thick bowl mouths.His extended trough cart brought from Old Manburg was unloaded in front of this haystack. Looked over carefully.no one. The sound is clearly real.So, slowly straightened up and walked forward.Listen again.声音发自槽子车的背后。真怪了，槽子车喘起气来了，鞋壳里能酿酒了。 他攥紧铁锹，野猫似的逼近过去。他喜欢这种偷袭，特别是偷袭那些下流的贱鬼，那些胡子拉碴、自以为是的新兵。他渴望听到铁锹把砸到一堆笨肉上的钝响。他渴望看到他们抱着脑袋躲闪时的惊恐。他决不饶恕。他想象自己左右开弓。他常常需要这种痛快，顺畅。年龄不满二十，却已当上了新兵营管带的他，在抽打那些不服管教、而又老改不了老百姓习气的新兵方面，全联队再没有谁能比他更下得了手。 再往前逼近，他看见有几件灰灰白白的衣服撂在槽子车的厢栏上。还有裤腰带和女人的三角头巾。他疑惑了。他听见女人的哼哼和痴迷的低语：“哦……老天……老天……”他还听见了一个男孩的惊慌和急切：“你咋了……咋了……”他听出，这男孩便是他大弟天观。 长这么大，还没碰过女人的天放，不明白他们到底在干个啥。但觉出，一男一女，脱了衣服，还哼哼卿卿，肯定没于好事。但究竟不是偷马贼，不能一棍子砸到一堆笨肉上，他有些失望。他大步向车后走，吆喝：“天观你狗日的，偷鸡摸狗干啥呢？” 那窸窸声和哼哼声突然中止。很短的一个间歇后，又突然一阵忙乱，忙乱好像地裂大崩前的逃亡一般。天观从车后冒出了上半身。他只穿了个单布褂，单布褂的扣子都解开了。腰以下光裸着。满脸的惊恐、羞愧。头发上和褂子上沾着不少草屑。 天放呆住了，怔怔地咽了口唾沫。天观本能地去抓衣服。但天放已经明白过来大弟在干一桩什么丢人的事，便更凶猛，更快当。他没跟大弟去夺衣服，他觉得那太轻巧，完全不足以发泄他这一刻突然涌到心头的愤恨和惊愕。他去抓的是槽子车。他一把拽住车的辕杆，用力一拽，便把几百斤重的车拽离了原地，并掀翻到一边。天观只来得及抓下一件他自己的黑棉袄，本能地拿它捂住自己下身，尔后一猫身，又缩回到草垛当间的凹洞里。 天色一时比一时明净。雾也只剩下些很淡的麻缕似的痕迹。圆圆的土丘更高地隆起。在湖边零星散布的村子里鸡先醒，狗压根儿就没睡。倒扣在岸滩上的破船还是发黑。许多条很小很小的死鱼，根本也没人要。 天观哆哆嗦嗦地求饶：“哥……哥……” 天放太伤心了。 你才十七岁。你怎么人牵着不走鬼带着飞跑？什么正事都还没干哩，就先使上了这邪性！我离开这个家之前，咋跟你说的？我说，观子，我走了，上外头去挣钱，这家就只剩你一个大男娃了。你咋说来着？哥，你放心，我明白咧。 你就这么个明白劲儿?你才十七,就跟咱们那没出息的爹一样了,就跟个骚公狗似的了! 天放直想吼。他抓住支撑草垛的树杆儿，使劲晃。大半拉草垛在晃动中，不断往下坐。只要一撤去这些杆儿，草垛立马儿就会坍倒，这两个贱货就全埋在小山一般的干草里头。那倒也省事了，清净了。 家里的人闻声都跑出来。爹也走了过来。他从歪在一边的槽子车上，拣起那个女人的衣服，向他们走去。大放拦住了他。 “叫那女子走。”爹低声说。 “没那么轻省。”天放狠狠地盯着爹手里的衣物。 “你要冻死他们？”爹突然提高了声音，“叫那女的走。” “走？我还要叫全村的人都来看这出好戏咧！你们都不要这个家。一个鸟儿子才十七岁就学他那爹的样儿，跑糊道哩。这个家……这个家……” “让他们穿上衣服走！”天放爹咬着牙吼道。 假如说，天放爹对发生在这个家里的一切变故，没有一点自责的心理，也决不是事实。但他总在安慰自己，多少年来自己谋求的不就是这一种没人管束的自在吗？虽然，还不尽人意，又有另一种苦涩，但是，既然到了这一步，没法再后悔，也不能再后悔。眼前只有强撑住咬紧牙关，忍过那一阵几近虚脱的战栗和昏厥。他的确再打不起那精神，重新回到种种的勾心斗角中去了。他现在只需要一点平静。谁也不来计较、打扰的平静。差不多他就要得到它了。偏偏自己的大儿子放不过他。不能说恨这个儿子。也不能说常在防备着这个儿子。更不能说已经想到要依靠这个儿子。他只希望，将来会有一天，儿子会明白今天做爹的这颗心的。但眼前，他不能忍受天放的不服。“让他们走！”天放爹又吼了一声，紧攥着那些女人的衣物，双腿并拢，上身挺得笔直，两眼虎虎生光，仿佛当年在军官团受训时，习惯的那样。 天放当然不肯松手。尔后就发生了那桩谁也想不到的事。已经有二十年没有打过任何一个人的爹，竟甩起手，抡圆了，狠狠地撂了天放一个大嘴巴。不等天放从疼痛和惊愕中醒悟，又一脚把天放端翻在地。接着，他很平静地打发走那女人，很平静地护着天观，回屋去了。紧接着，二弟二妹也都出出溜溜地回了屋。 大妹没走。她抱着惊呆了的小弟，跟娘还站在草垛一头的拴马桩跟前。 娘闻声跑出来以后，便一直站在那根拴马桩跟前。一直也没敢往前来。她知道自己往前去了，也不管用。无论是那个老的，还是那个小的，都是个强梁，都不会听她的。她知道这个家早晚要出事。她不敢让自己往下想。她甚至希望这个家出点事。她知道有这种念头，罪孽。但又驱赶不掉这个念头。自从有了这种念头，她不敢正眼看孩子们的爹。她改吃长素。她再不喝烧过的水。每天在这根拴马桩跟前滴一滴自己的血人土。她甚至把二十年前留下的两件最值钱的衣服铰碎了烧给祖宗。但这一切都没能赶走她的内疚、不安、自愧。她害怕。她觉得自己太坏。她一天天地往下瘦，变得干瘪。她祈求上苍，别让大儿子出事。当她发现，她的这个念头比起前一个恶念更加强烈时，她的心稍稍得到了些安抚。她总算又给自己找到了一个应该继续活下去的理由。 天放被打蒙了。他重重地倒在地上，脑袋撞在一根砍倒多年的杨树桩上。嗡地一声，差一点炸了开来。羞辱的泪水立即糊住了双眼。脸面上火辣辣。天空也火辣辣。耳膜上仿佛扎满了烧红的钢针。有好大一会儿，他脑子里完全空白了。他羞愧得抬不起头。他羞愧的不是挨了爹的巴掌。他羞愧的是，自己竟然无力阻止眼前发生的一切。他不愿相信这是真的，不愿相信自己甚至都无法制止自己的抽泣。等大妹硬拖着愕愣的娘，也离开了这不洁的草垛，等场院里完全走空时，他才清醒，才觉出这个家已经完全不能指望了。他跳起来，冲上木台阶，从那檐下堆放工具的搁板上，抽出一把长柄斧子。娘一头扑过来，抱住他，叫道：“天放，天放……天放……”天放仿佛疯了似的，推开娘的抓挠，冲进了爹的屋里。 “你……你……你……”他拼着全力吼道。 爹这时脱了鞋，正盘腿坐在床上，咕噜咕噜吸他的水烟。他斜起眼，瞟了一下天放。他手心里顿觉黏潮。有一眨眼工夫，他的腿陡地麻麻地僵硬。但他没动弹。 “你给我躲开！”天放一面喊，一面就朝床头砍去。天放爹刷白了脸，身不由己地蹦下床。但他没往外躲，只是稍稍后退了两步，把身子贴紧了那张供放香烛神位的长案，双手在身后架住案边。掉在地上的水烟壶，听凭焦黄的烟水汩汩地从铜烟嘴里泄出。 木床垮了。黄白的木屑木片四下飞散。天放哭着喊着：“你是我爹……你是我爹……你是我爹……” 他终于使尽了力气，终于被满地的碎片碎块绊倒，终于再带不住那舞动的斧子，锋快的斧刃终于从砍得狼狈不堪的床架上滑过，楔进天放自己的小腿肚里。他终于跪了下去，终于看见流出的仍然是自己身上的血。像牛血那么黑。像骆驼血那么稠。像卿筒里喷射出的那么有力。他抱住腿，慢慢弯下腰去。 哦，是你生下了我……是你…… That's right. 还要说个啥呢？ 李窝铺漫漫子沟白沙沙走， 白沙沙细份子上坝头； 不较之七梁八墒九斤九， 怎见俄（我）婆姨上羞楼。 李窝铺漫漫子沟白沙沙走， 白沙沙平川望不到头； 不较之石大个磨盘咬磨轴， 只盼那小阁妆奋彩绸新席于枣木嵌炕首， 那咦喂子丢咪喂咦子丢……