Chapter 61 Chapter 61: Go and figure out yourself

"Ah Fang, do you remember that I taught you how to dance well?" she asked me, pursing her lips and asking me to wipe off the blood on her cheek. "Professor, I don't want to dance anymore. I can't do it all the time. It's because I failed you and I'm worthless. Please forgive me." I said. "It's the same whether you're dancing or not, and it's the same when you're doing anything. You have to recognize yourself, Ah Fang." She said, "I know you're going, it's fine if you want to go, but where are you going?" "I don't know." After I finished speaking, I gritted my teeth and knelt down. "Professor, please know that I'm not angry with you. I have no right to be angry. I can't do anything well. It's my fault. Please promise me that I will dance the angel in white for Long Zai. Please promise me."

"If I don't dance for him, who can I dance with at this time?" Professor Zhuo sighed, I buried my face in her lap, Professor Zhuo gently stroked my long hair, and she said, "Seeing you At the first glance, I knew that you, like Feng Heng, would be my disaster star, and you forced me to... really a disaster star." "Please forgive me." "Forgive what? I didn't say I blame you," Professor Zhuo said slowly, "I used to be so angry with my teachers, they were so angry that they vomited blood, and now it's on me. Ah Fang, it's very embarrassing." Normally, we are creative people, generation after generation, A rebels against B, and B rebels against C... Rebellion, rebellion, is like turning a bag over and over again, waiting to be reborn to give birth to the next generation. The only way to create is to go further. The more difficult it is, you are all my stimulation, the stimulation is very good, I have to thank you all."

Because I was choked up, I couldn't answer, and Professor Zhuo stroked my long hair again.Panting, she said, "I'm going to be on stage soon. What's a stage? It's just a few rounds of applause, Ah Fang. What's important is your own stage. Do you understand? Watch you pack your suitcase, yes?" Do you want to go home? Ah Fang? Go home, go home, go to find out about yourself, remember I told you that your growth process is itself a universe? Write down this sentence, remember Say this, Ah Fang, there is no creation, it is more exciting than your own growth process, you go to figure out yourself, don't avoid yourself, figure out what you want to do, you won't be confused, understand? "

"Understand." "Then you can go." Lifting my head from her lap, Professor Zhuo was looking at me exhaustedly. I felt very confused, my fate was over, and I finally saw her kindness. I knew it was the right time for me to leave, I didn’t like dancing at all, I didn’t have the qualifications to be on stage, so I made up for my regrets by giving up my position to Long Zai on stage, but I just vaguely felt that everything was still in regret, I failed to figure out the relationship between heaven and defects, failed to know where I should go, and failed to solve the reason why Professor Zhuo banned Long Zai from the stage.I pushed the situation to the edge of the road again.Thinking of this, I couldn't get up at all.

"Professor, please take care." "Of course I take care, and I ask you too, don't forget the swallow in your heart, okay Fang?" She said softly. The drizzle in winter kept falling. I stood in front of the rain eaves and teased the white parrot. The white parrot spit out the sunflower seeds in its mouth, but it flapped its wings and fell off the wooden frame. There was an iron chain tied to its right paw. Hanging upside down, it bites the wooden post with its beak and moves itself back to the top of the frame bit by bit. This is a trick I have been used to playing with it since I was a child. Thinking about it carefully, this parrot must be twenty years old, right?

In my memory, Chiayi shouldn’t be raining like this in winter. I looked at the sky and tightened my clothes. I have already returned home. A taxi slowly drove in from the front of the street, and was covered by some canopies.When I was a child, I saw rice fields and banana plantations as far as the eye could see from the street. Now my sight is filled with buildings, which are not beautiful at all.The taxi came in front of me, and I watched my sister get out of the car with her hands full of gift boxes. Her belly is really big, and she has been pregnant for more than seven months. Although the Lunar New Year holidays have not yet arrived, my sister miraculously asked for leave to go home when she heard that I was back.

Helping my sister carry gifts, we walked around the storefront and entered the big house through the side door. In the second corridor, my old man was lying on the bamboo couch, watching the rain.My cousin sat beside my father-in-law boredly, reading an old martial arts novel. My sister handed me all the remaining gift boxes in her hand. She held her stomach and bent down with difficulty, calling: "My father." "what?" "My husband, it's me." My sister raised her voice. My 107-year-old father-in-law is not only half-blind, but also nearly deaf. "Ah Fang?" My father-in-law looked at her face.

"It's not Ah Fang, it's Ah Hui." My sister shouted. "Oh, Ah Hui... are you back, Ah Hui?" "right." "I'm back..." My father-in-law half closed his eyes again, and he said sleepily, "On Mid-Autumn Festival, you and Ah Hui didn't come back, and you didn't come back even if you had a family..." He still confused me with my sister.Exchanging glances with my sister, we both know what his next sentence will be. "...You and Ah Hui are both very similar to that woman." The old man said to his sister.This is meant to be ridiculed, but I am happy to hear it.In the whole world, only my father-in-law said that I look like my mother.

My aunt, uncle, and aunt all ran out, and my sister, like me, hadn’t been home for nearly a year. Seeing her pregnancy at this time, several elders were happy and surrounded her into the main hall. I remember that the walls in the main hall used to be covered with portraits of ancestors and some old brown calligraphy and paintings, but now they have been changed into bright red and gold plaques, all of which are "pine and cypress evergreen", Auspicious sayings such as "Shou Bing Shan He", "Yi De Yan Nian", "God bestows longevity" and other auspicious words hung around the circle full of excitement.

Since my old man turned 100, every year on Double Ninth Festival, Chiayi County Mayor and Dalin Town Mayor will take turns to visit and present a pair of congratulatory plaques like this, as if to praise him for his determination to never die. My father has always paid attention to health. He practiced calligraphy, which he said was nourishing energy, he punched and kicked, which he said was to strengthen his tendons, he donated grain to build bridges, which he said was a kind of blessing and prolong life, and he raised a pond of koi, which he said was to improve his eyesight. Later, I couldn’t use my limbs, and I couldn’t even see my eyes. My father-in-law lived in a big house and kept a low profile. Drink tea non-stop, and refrain from eating after sunset, saying it is to cleanse the stomach.