Chapter 10 Section ten

Many years later, my aunt and Mandu Gule met again. At this time, Mandu Gule was already the secretary of the provincial party committee of Quan Zhen's side.He heard that my aunt's husband had been arrested and sentenced to seven years in prison. My aunt's situation was very bad, so he made a special trip from his province to the city where my aunt lived, and met her. My aunt was very haggard, her face was pale, her eyes were sunken, and she was so weak that Mandugule almost didn't recognize her.Mandugule was deeply shocked by her appearance. Auntie's eyes passed Mandugule and landed on his secretary and servants, as if he was a stranger, not as strange as the other two strangers he brought.

The aunt asked lightly, are they your followers? Auntie is the secretary and servant standing respectfully behind Mandugule. Mandukule waved to the secretary and the servants to leave the room. After the secretary and the servants withdrew, only my aunt and Mandu Gule were left in the room. One of them was standing and the other was sitting, looking at each other silently.An old-fashioned chime clock stood on the chest of drawers. The pendulum swayed back and forth, making a tick-tick sound. Otherwise, time seemed to have stopped at this moment. For a while Mandugula didn't know how to start his conversation. He picked up a newspaper from the table and fanned it fervently.They hadn't seen each other for more than ten years, and since Mandugule traveled all the way to find my aunt's place and talked to Jiao Liu, they never met again.After returning to his own city, Mandugule suffered for a while. He couldn't figure out why things were like this, and why it ended in this way.After that he broke free from the pain and threw himself into his work, trying to forget about it.He also inquired about the situation of his aunt in the future. Since the two of them lived in no fixed place and kept changing jobs, it was not easy to find out the detailed situation of the other party.Fortunately, Mandu Gule often goes to Beijing for meetings. Beijing is a well-informed place. He has many comrades in arms, and he can occasionally learn some outdated information from them.He knew that my aunt's life was always in turmoil. She first participated in the Battle of Pingjin, then stayed with Jiao Liu in a northern city, and did not continue to go south. After that, she separated from Jiao Liu, they divorced, and she He was transferred to a county and transferred from the army to a local area.It was already two years later when Mandu Gule knew the news, and Mandu Gule regretted that he did not know the news earlier, otherwise he would rush to the county where his aunt is located as quickly as possible , the divorced aunt has nothing to do with anyone, he doesn't need to discuss with anyone, he doesn't need to snatch women from other people's kang, he will take the aunt back to him with confidence, and never let her die Open yourself up.It's a pity that when he knew the news, my aunt's life had already changed, and she married someone again.

That time when Mandu Gule scolded the comrade who told him the situation on the phone, Mandu Gule yelled: What did you do long ago? !Why didn't you notify me sooner? !Didn't they give you a car?Doesn't your city have an airport? ! The comrade-in-arms said inexplicably, "Old man, are you making such a fuss?"We broke up for so many years, we broke up in Mudanjiang for eleven years, right?Didn't I just contact you?Besides, I just heard from Lao Shen about Mei Qin. I told you as soon as I heard from Lao Shen. I will notify you by phone. Isn’t this much faster than a car or an airplane?You asked me what I did, you were so anxious to go to the room, what did you do earlier?

Only then did Mandu Gule stand there in a daze, unable to make a sound. When Mandu Gule saw his aunt, he was a little excited.His face was flushed and his seal was shining.He stood there and called out to his aunt.He called it like it was more than ten years ago.He called her Peony. You won't be leaving right away, will you?My aunt said, sit down if you don't leave immediately. Mandukul sat down.He sat across from his aunt, looking at her, at the peony he had been separated from for many years, at the peony that belonged to him and then belonged to someone else.Where did he think he should start?What should he say?He thought for a while but couldn't figure it out. He decided to omit all the nonsense and go straight to the point. Those words that lack oil and salt were not said by Mandu Gule. Even if he wanted to say them, he would have plenty of time to say them in the future.

You can follow me and come to me.Mandu Gule said to his aunt.I'll rearrange your work,... and of course, life. My aunt was sewing a piece of clothing before Mandugule came in.It was a man's clothes.She put down the dress, glanced at Mandugule, and said strangely, why should I go with you?My work is here, and so is my life, they have nothing to do with you, and I have no reason to follow you. Mandugule said, my wife passed away two years ago, and I live alone now... My aunt was even more strange, and said, I am very sorry for your wife's death, but what does this have to do with me?

Mandukul said, I mean, we can... No.My aunt stopped Mandugule and said, I understand what you mean, but you don't understand what I mean.Now listen up, I'm not going to do your stuffing, that can't be done.You can find another woman to do your filling.You manage a province, it's easy. Mandu Gule explained that it is not filling the house, how can it be filling the house?We were originally husband and wife. We were husband and wife for three years, and then we separated. We just resumed the broken days. Aunt said, do you remember?our child you shall Auntie looked at Mandugule.Her gaze was a little cold.That is the hero Mandugule, he is not young anymore, he has extra fat on his cheeks, his stomach is a little swollen, his movements are smooth and steady, and he has lost the impulsiveness and agility of the past; but he is still so burly, rosy-faced, proud and headstrong Conceited, do whatever you want.Auntie walked over, took the teacup in his hand, and put it aside.That was what she handed him in the first place.Auntie meant that she didn't want him to finish that cup of tea, he didn't deserve to finish that cup of tea.She did that to his embarrassment.

Auntie said, what do you think?This makes me so weird.What do you think that is?When you want me, I am your woman, and when you don't want me, I am your comrade who can be sacrificed. You can easily throw it to the enemy, and let me suffer the disaster that you should have endured.Where were you when those men pinned me to the ground and tied me up with rope?Where were you when I was stripped of my clothes and hung under the eaves?Where were you when I was whipped?Now that you think about it, you feel guilty, or you think that I am still a lovely woman, and you want me again, do you think that you can also tie me up with ropes like those people, Strip me of my clothes and whip me?Do you think you have the same power as those people?

Auntie is excited.She stood there like a sika deer with flashing fur.She raised her chin high, looking like she was facing the wind and bathing in the rain. Mandugule's face turned red and white, he lowered his head and murmured, I don't know... I don't know you have suffered so much. My aunt said sarcastically, if you knew, would you come out of your cellar to save me? Mandugule was in a hurry, he raised his head and swore loudly: Yes, I will definitely! Yeah?My aunt stared at Mandugule and said. Mandu Gule was a little unhappy and a little bit wronged.He knew that his aunt had been deeply hurt, and she wanted to use the hurt she had suffered to avenge him.But he can't get angry, he can't get angry when he wants to, he knows that he has handled things pretty badly, and he can't make things worse.

It took Mandugule a long time to control himself, and said, Meiqin, you know it was unavoidable, it was an accident, surrounded by the enemy, no one could use a better way to solve such an accident.I've done my best, it's all I can do. My aunt said, have you tried your best?How are you doing your best?How could you think of killing my child?How could you let me strangle him?Do you know that the child was torn in two?They snatched him from me, and in front of me, they held the child by both feet, just like that... The child suddenly stopped crying.His blood spattered my face.His blood blurred my eyes and trickled into my mouth.Do you want to know what your child's blood tastes like?

Auntie stared at Mandugule with very, very cold eyes. No! is sweet.Your child's blood is sweet. Mandukul was hit.He was hit hard.He suddenly supported his huge head.But he quickly let go of his hands and straightened himself up.He can't give up.He has to hold on. I am in charge.I carry a burden on my shoulders.I can't let so many people die.If I reimbursed all the seeds of revolution, I would be the real criminal.I am also in great pain, that child is my child, the seed of my mandugule, he bears my surname and shed my blood.My later wife left me no children, and I don't even have a child now.I killed my own child with my own hands, do I feel good? !You are a revolutionary who has been trained and educated by the Communist Party for many years. You should understand this truth, understand that we are not our own, and understand that I should make sacrifices.You also know me as a person, you should know that I value you.I can tell you the truth, I only had vanity with my ex-wife, and I was never happy. She was brave in battle and loyal to the party, but she never made me happy!

My aunt looked at the man in front of her with her beautiful eyes.She looked at him with so much pity in her eyes, and when Mandugule said that emotionally, she stood up, went to the window, turned her back to him, and listened there.His face was enveloped by the sunlight coming in from the window, looking very beautiful and peaceful.After Mandu Gule finished telling the story, she walked over from the sun, as if she was about to get rid of the sun, shook her head, turned around and walked back, sat next to Mandu Gule, stretched out a hand gently Take one of his hands lightly.  My aunt said softly, why don't you understand, you shouldn't pay attention to this word.What you value is nothing more than what you want, what you want, and that is all yourself.When you can’t get all of them, you find another reason of your own, convince others and yourself, and then keep the things you want to keep, and discard the other things part by part.I also know that this is not comprehensive. In fact, you will lose yourself in the last resort, but it must be the last resort, and it must be the last.You are a tenacious person, a person of conviction, and you don't give up easily.You're only suffering because you didn't keep all that you possessed.You can get married, you can have a woman, but you must never tell your woman that you value her, that is deceiving her. not like this!Not at all!Mandugu clenched his teeth and swore in pain, "I really value you!"Over the years, there is not a day that I do not miss you!Look at it, I even want to turn my hair white! Mandugule raised one hand and grabbed his head vigorously.His head was huge and hard, too proud to be underestimated, the head of a true warrior. Auntie took her hand away from Mandugule's, stood up, and looked down at him.Instead of looking at his hair, she looked at his eyes.Contempt was evident in her eyes now. What do you make me believe about you?Auntie said. Even if it was my fault that time, you have to give me a chance, I will sacrifice everything for you.Mandul Gul said. What can you sacrifice?Auntie said. I can do anything for you, and I mean everything.I can use my name to talk to your organization to get you out of this unfavorable situation.I can give up everything now, and we will go to the countryside together to open up a piece of wasteland. We don't want anything, and we will live by farming.Mandukul said through gritted teeth. My aunt sneered and said, you still refuse to tell the truth.You value your face too much.You know in your heart what it is, but you just don't say it.In fact, we all understand that even if my current situation is very bad, so bad that I left the army, so bad that my husband went to prison, and so bad that the organization no longer trusts me, it will not drag you down. the point.If you don't get annoyed, I can put it more directly - in your position, you can influence everything, you have the ability, if you want, you can even put me back in the army, you can put my husband Getting out of the prison can make the organization trust me again.You are sure to do it all, but you won't do it.All you have to do is let me go back to your side, let me be your woman again, let me be by your side anytime and anywhere when you need it, and let your conscience have something to store.Why don't you say these words, why don't you say these words clearly, but you have to act like a tragic person who has been wronged by the world? Mandugule trembled and said, you... My aunt stopped him and said, no, Mandugule, you don't need to say anything more.You can abandon me once, you can abandon me countless times.If you don't care about one life, you don't have to care about more lives.You are such a person, how can I put my fate in your hands again?I will not. After saying this, the aunt walked over and opened the door.She said to Mandugule, well, you can leave now, I have to go out to do errands, I am going to the prison to see my husband, and I have to explain the problem to the organization.She paused and said, just before you leave, one thing should be made clear, we are not husband and wife, we have never been married, never have been, but I left my husband and ran to your side, Be your woman, that's all. Mandugule left the city where his aunt lived by train that day.As the train passed through the fertile North China Plain, Mandugule wept.He sat by the car window, letting the tears flow shamelessly down his flushed face.The hero Mandu Gule never shed tears. He did not shed tears when his chest was blown open during the war, and he did not shed tears when he was imprisoned for eight years during the "Cultural Revolution". But now he is weeping.According to the testimonials of those close to him, this was one of the two times in his life that he shed tears. My mother happened to come to this city when Mandukule left the city.Like Mandu Gule, she came to visit her after hearing about her aunt.The difference is that she and her aunt have never had a mutual relationship. If they have a skin-to-skin relationship, it is limited to the skin-to-skin relationship between sisters, not the skin-to-skin relationship between men and women. , in the bones, in the blood hurt my aunt, but I just don't want to possess her. That night, my mother and my aunt slept on the same bed, and the two of them talked quietly, staying up all night.They were talking about my aunt's husband.They talked about how to find out the case of my aunt's husband, how to solve this matter, and what to do if they couldn't solve it.My aunt is very decisive. She thinks there is nothing to discuss about this matter. She doesn't know many things about her husband's imprisonment. She doesn't understand what kind of case it is. All she knows is that they shouldn't Put him in jail, they had no reason to put him in jail, she gotta get this straight, if they were wrong, then they gotta admit they were wrong, get him out, give him back to her If they are right, then she has to help him, support him, and let him realize his mistakes in prison with peace of mind, and wait until he is released after serving his sentence.In short, in my aunt's opinion, this may be a big thing, but it is not a very complicated thing, she just needs to act. After discussing those things, the mother wanted to turn the topic to Mandugule. She tried several times, but was stopped by her aunt.My aunt didn't want to mention that person.She seemed a little disgusted and a little afraid to talk about it.The aunt changed the topic, and they began to talk about the mother's husband and children.The auntie asked her mother about her husband and her children, and she listened to what the mother was talking about, and when the mother said something interesting, she pursed her lips and laughed in the dark.The mother said absent-mindedly, she didn't really want to talk about these things. When she was talking about her husband and children, she felt that the auntie curled her head, and the auntie's hair was fine and fluffy, and it was gently rubbed against the her face.The mother also felt that my aunt's hair was trembling slightly, as if my aunt's hair was hurt and they were in pain.For a while, the mother stopped suddenly, and couldn't help stretching out her arms to hug my aunt into her arms.My aunt trembled for a moment, and her body stiffened at that moment.My aunt's skin was smooth and moist, and when she was hugged by her mother, it immediately turned into water, like a newborn lamb.Auntie is actually a lamb. When she was born, she was abandoned by the flock before she was licked dry by the ewe. She walked too far and could never return to the flock. She was doomed for a lifetime It's all so wet. There was an unforgettable pain in my mother's heart. Many years later, I learned about that conversation between the two of them from my mother. My aunt curled up in her mother's arms, tears streaming down her eyelids and soaking into the sheets. The aunt said, sister, you don't know how much I love him.He is a simple man.He has great strength.He can crush people easily.Every time I lie in his arms, I think, let me die!Let me die for him!But sister, don't trust men, don't trust any man.They won't let you die.They want you to live, live to suffer for them, atone for their sins, let them treat you as a sweetheart when they are happy, use you as a punching bag when they are angry, and abandon you when they don't need you.They don't want you dead.They dare not be alone in this world.And if you keep up with them, you have to live for all their thoughts... My aunt burst into tears and said, why did God create men and women?Why? !