Chapter 22 Hunan (1955-1964) - Dementia

When Guan Shanlin was keen on his ass-kicking campaign, Wu Yun experienced the most painful and desperate ambush in her life.It was fate. The enemy of fate ambushed her accurately at the location that had been planned, and disarmed her all by surprise. She had no chance to fight back, and was immediately knocked down to the ground. Two months ago, a younger brother of Guan Shanlin in his hometown in Hubei sent a letter, telling about the plight of the family. Several members of the family were about to starve to death. the lives of his family.Wu Yun didn't want Guan Shanlin to be troubled, so she hid the letter and sent all the money the family could get to Hubei.Not long after, another letter came home, this time it was not the younger brother, but the elder sister, who was married and became a mother-in-law. In the letter, the elder sister repeatedly recalled the incident of picking lotus rice for Guan Shanlin when she was a child.My sister wrote in the letter, Ermao, thinking about how gluttonous you were back then, I gave you a lotus pod, and I gave you another lotus pod, and I gave you, but you just didn’t have enough.Wu Yun suspects that this letter was not written by Guan Shanlin's sister who has never read a book for a day. Not to mention the literary talent in the letter, it is the word lotus, which cannot be written without studying in private school for three years.But one thing is clear. In the letter, my sister not only wrote that she gave you a lotus pod, but also that she gave you another lotus pod. She also wrote that her husband, Guan Shanlin’s brother-in-law, was bedridden because of hunger. This meaning is already very obvious.I just sent money to my brother, but there is no more money at home.But that's no reason.You can't watch a starving person die while lying in bed, and this person gave you a lotus.The husband of the person who gave you another lotus.Wu Yun still didn't want to disturb Guan Shanlin, she knew that he was hurting his heart by the withdrawal of the Soviet experts.She has to figure it out on her own.The problem was that the family was in the most embarrassing situation at that time.After the fourth son Xiangyang was born, Wu Yun still went back to work in the hospital. An aunt couldn't take care of the three children in the family, so the organization hired another aunt. Lu Yang usually ate and lived at school, but had to go home on weekends.Three adults, two and a half children, the family only has such a small ration, and it is too much to count and cook. How can there be extra rations to help others?Wu Yun originally wanted to collect some belongings and sell them for some money to send to the countryside, but in these years Guan Shanlin didn't buy any property except food and drink.There are a few pieces of furniture, but they belong to the public, and I have no right to sell them, so there is no way to think about it.In the end, Wu Yun gritted his teeth, took out one person's ration from home, exchanged it for food stamps and cash, and sent the food stamps and money to his hometown in Hubei. One bite is not enough.

On the day Wu Yun sent the food stamps and money away, he received another letter from his hometown in Jixian. Wu Yun got the envelope and looked at the address, his heart skipped a beat.Wu Yun thought to himself, father, mother, please forgive me, even if I was skinned alive this time, I would not dare to take half a grain of food out!But when she read the letter, she realized that the letter was not asking her for relief, but about the second child Huiyang.Seven-year-old Huiyang worried his grandparents. He was taciturn and dull all day long, and stayed alone in a corner from morning till night.Sometimes he also goes outside, and when he goes outside, he also looks for a corner, either by the chicken coop or by the manure pit, and does not come back during meal time.It was getting dark, adults were looking for him all over the world, their voices were broken, and he passed by him without making a sound.Grandpa and grandma said in the letter, girl, I am afraid that the child has fallen into something wrong. His father is a senior cadre, and we are afraid that we will not be able to take responsibility. You should take the child back.Wu Yun burst into tears before finishing reading the letter.Wu Yun thought, Huiyang is my life.She didn't want to delay for a minute, she wanted to bring Huiyang back to her side.It happened that the elder brother Bator was going back to the northeast to visit relatives and was about to return to Guangdong. Wu Yun asked the elder brother Bator to detour to Hunan and bring Huiyang back to Hunan.

On the day Huiyang was brought home by Bator, Wu Yun ran home as soon as he got off work. He didn’t care to greet his elder brother when he entered the door. He immediately hugged Huiyang who was curled up in the corner, and said tearfully, Huiyang, call Mother!Huiyang was wearing a new cloth jacket with long sleeves and hem, which made him look thin and thin.He had a tiled head shaved, and his ears were dirty, with a strand of cobweb hanging from them.He looked at the dark cloud hostilely with dull eyes, and said nothing.Wu Yun suddenly felt a piercing pain, which came from the abdomen and quickly spread to the whole body.She suddenly thought of that little arm and that little leg that were black and purple in the dry and cold air. They were trembling before her eyes, stubbornly refusing to disappear, giving the dark cloud a sense of criminal suffocation.Afterwards, Wu Yun sat down to talk with Bator. She held Huiyang tightly in her arms, but Huiyang didn't object.When eating, Niaoyun didn't think about rations at all. He cooked a big pot full of white rice and opened the only can of meat in the house. It was brought from Shanghai by an old subordinate of Guan Shanlin. I didn't want to move for half a year.Wu Yun poured half of the canned pork into Bator's bowl, leaving the remaining half for Huiyang.Wu Yun hit four-year-old Jingyang on the head with the chopsticks and said, don't touch the meat, it's for your second brother.Ba Tuoer gave the meat in his bowl to the salivating Jingyang, but Wu Yun took it back.Wu Yun said, big brother, you eat, we only ate a chicken last week.Jingyang said aggrievedly, if we didn't eat chicken, we didn't eat chicken.Huiyang stared blankly at Jingyang, who was about to cry, and suddenly took a piece of meat from his own bowl, and put it in his younger brother's bowl across the table.Jingyang quickly grabbed the piece of meat with his hands and put it into his mouth.This action made both Wu Yun and Bator laugh.It's just that Wu Yun smiled very sadly.Wu Yun hoped that her eldest brother Ba Tuoer could stay for a few more days. On Saturday, she asked someone to call Guan Shanlin back.Bator insisted on leaving that day.He was eager to rush back to the army for one reason, and there was another reason he didn't say, but Wu Yun knew in his heart that he didn't like his husband.He didn't like him since he was Guan Shanlin's subordinate.When Bator left, he patted Wu Yun's face, this action almost made Wu Yun shed tears.When he was young, Bator used to pat Wu Yun's face, and sang along the way: "Little girl, with a pretty face, she will marry an official when she grows up."Now she is really married to an official, but he has no chance to pat her on the face again.Bator had been a cavalry soldier for more than ten years, and he had his legs crossed when he rode the horse. Wu Yun watched his elder brother staggeringly disappear at the end of the road before returning to the house.

Wu Yun tried to have a word with her second brother Huiyang all night, but in the end she failed. After Bator left, Huiyang hid in the corner again, and he couldn't get out no matter how much he asked him to pull him out. He even ignored his younger brothers Jingyang and Xiangyang, and then fell asleep leaning against the corner of the wall.Wu Yun didn't send Huiyang into the children's room. She washed Huiyang who was asleep, carried him to her bed, and undressed him. She saw her son wearing a red bellyband.It was sewn by the grandma for the grandson, and used it to ward off evil spirits.How many evils does he need to avoid?Wu Yun hugged Huiyang to sleep that night, Huiyang fell asleep and changed his appearance during the day. In his dream, he was very restless, talking loudly in his sleep, and screaming at other times, as if he was in a dream. He is a real child. In his dream, there are a large group of butterflies with colorful wings flying happily on the green grass. With bare feet, he stepped on the dew on the grass and stretched out his arms to catch them. They fly so high, why do they fly so high?Wu Yun didn't sleep all night, she kept grabbing Huiyang's little hand that was stretched out into the air and put it back under the bed, her heart was trembling in the dry and cold air all the time.

Wu Yun couldn't care less about being annoyed by Guan Shanlin's indifferent attitude. A few days later, Guan Shanlin came back once. He just passed by the house, and only stayed at the house for a short period of time, so short that the jeep parked in front of the house didn't even turn off the engine.How many things happened at home before this!The younger brother of the first-born compatriot came to ask for money, the elder sister who gave it to me asked for food, and the hometown of Jixian sent the second son Huiyang back. This house is really a mess, no different from a wartime rescue center.Guan Shanlin is not so much indifferent to this, as he doesn't take it seriously.No matter how small the matter in the base is, it is a big matter, and how big the matter is at home is a small matter, that's what he thinks.Even outsiders can see Huiyang's stupidity, but Guan Shanlin stubbornly thinks it's nonsense.He said that Huiyang was stupid to stay in the country, and he was enlightened after sending him to school for two years.Guan Shanlin didn't even give his second son a hug, and hurried into the jeep parked at the door and left, leaving Wu Yun alone to deal with the mess.Wu Yun is used to fighting alone on this battlefield. Her allies are only two country aunts. They have no complaints, but they have no sense of honor. It is not a matter of life or death for them to hold this position or lose it. Just change another position to defend.

They are not like the dark clouds, who must win this war. Wu Yun finally contacted Hunan Psychiatric Hospital through the business relationship of the base hospital.She brought Huiyang to Changsha, where she was introduced to Director Ge of the inpatient department of a psychiatric hospital.He is a senior medical doctor who returned from studying in France.Dr. Ge has an uncle who is also a general of the People's Liberation Army, so he showed great enthusiasm and patience to the general's wife and the general's son.Dr. Ge leads a team of experts, all of whom are doctors with rich clinical experience.The examination and diagnosis of Huiyang were carried out three times in total. Every time Huiyang was brought into the mysterious green room, Wu Yun felt terrified.She felt that she was awaiting a cruel sentence.In fact, her chances of winning the verdict are slim.She was almost desperate.But she couldn't run away because she was afraid, she couldn't leave her child in that green house!

The diagnosis result came out in the afternoon of the next day.Wu Yun was called to Dr. Ge's office.The serious look on Dr. Ge's face made Wu Yun dare not speak at all.She was instructed to read a diagnostic report first.When she took the thick stack of reports, she almost shouted: No! But she still read the report tenaciously. Report 1: Psychological Diagnosis Date of Diagnosis: August 17, 18, 1960 Diagnostic Procedures: The Minnesota Multiple Personality Test bidirectional psychometric test Sentence Completion Ability Test Spree College Life Quiz Bender-Gestalt psychological test

Graham Kendall Test Ink drop psychological test Intellectual function: The patient's intellectual function ranges between lower and lower middle.his vocabulary IQ is 38, abstract ability IQ is 28, overall IQ is 37.4.suffer from The theoretical input of the tester is 3, and in the vocabulary test, he can only say Out of three words, the completion rate is 1.2%... Overall Personality: On personality tests, patients showed alertness, avoidance, blocking, emotional Depressed, abnormal interaction with the outside world, slow response to other people's feelings.suffer from There is an introverted hostility to...

Summary and conclusion: To sum up, the patient Guan Huiyang, male, 8 years old.brain organ No evidence of tissue damage.No signs of cerebral hemorrhage.no confusion, mental Psychosis and other psychotic symptoms.low IQ.innate intelligence low patient. Chief doctor: Zhuang Jie (signature) August 18, 1960 Report Two: Psychiatric Diagnosis Chat diagnosis: The patient complained of difficulties, sparse and confused language, and obvious obstacles in thinking hinder.Sensory experiences are not evident in the patient.Patient has normal memory, he can remember the scene when a cow gave birth to a calf when he was four years old.

The patient's chief complaint was summarized as that the calf was lying in a pool of blood and struggling to crawl. Can't get up, the cow stepped on it.Patient with markedly irregular pressure sense of urgency Pathological explanation: Patient Guan Huiyang, male, 8 years old.No psychiatric diagnosis before this report Refer to medical history and medical records... diagnosis: No impairment of social personality dementia. Chief doctor: Fu Guoping (signature) August 18, 1960 After reading this, Wu Yun almost fainted on the spot in Dr. Ge's office.There is a set of beautiful Suzhou furniture in Dr. Ge’s office, made of mahogany. Although the sofa is a bit old, you can tell at a glance that they were shipped all the way to China by Danish or Spanish ships. He placed one or two pieces of Junzhou porcelain on his bookshelf, of course he would not let Wu Yun lie down on the ground in such an office.The doctor skillfully made Wu Yun use a tranquilizer.After Wuyun woke up, he began to cry.There were many tears, but she did not cry out.She just walked out of the doctor's office with tears in her eyes, went to the next room, and hugged Huiyang who was sitting there with an apple in her arms.Without the need for the experts to say a word, Wu Yun already knew what those professional diagnostic reports announced.Tears dazed her face, she hugged Huiyang, who had a huge head and slender limbs, and walked out of the room, out of the psychiatric hospital full of flowers.She wants to take her baby back to her own home.

For several consecutive nights after that, Wu Yun held Huiyang tightly in his arms.She wouldn't let him go anywhere.She has been crying, and the tears are not dry day and night.At first, Huiyang regarded the embrace of the dark cloud as another dark corner, and he was a little embarrassed but very quietly clinging in it, with his two lifeless eyes open until he fell asleep.But soon he found that it was not his corner, his corner had no warmth and no light, but the embrace of dark clouds did.Wu Yun kept looking at him with her regretful eyes.She almost took his breath away.He broke free from the embrace of the dark cloud again and ran to a dark corner to hide.Wu Yun ran over and wanted to hold him in his arms again.He screamed, with hostility and fear in his eyes, he buried himself in his two thin knees, like a bird that would rather shrink back into its eggshell than to be born, his That look of refusal and disgust stopped the cloud.Wu Yun stood there, not daring to go any further, she knew that as long as she stretched out her hand, she would crush him, and his fragile body and soul would be blown away by the wind in an instant, disappearing in a place where she could not regret it.They just confronted each other.She stands there.He crouched there.Maybe he saw from her eyes that she would not try to hold him in her arms anymore, his pupils began to loosen, and the look of fear on his face gradually faded.He moved slightly so that he could curl up more comfortably in that dark corner.Now, his body is perfectly attached to the cold wall he loves.Wu Yun will never forget this picture, she can't feel anything at that time, only a kind of unforgettable pain.That child, that child did not like her arms!What was there in her arms that frightened him?He was so weak, so lonely, and he refused to leave his corner for a moment.Wu Yun trembled with pain in his heart.She knew where that feeling was coming from, oh my god, she knew where that feeling was coming from! Guan Shanlin knew that the second child, Huiyang, was a child with congenital dementia. This is not asking for money or food, this is one of their sons!When the sky fell, Wu Yun could hold on, but her son was Wu Yun's fatal injury, and she couldn't hold on alone.Wu Yun rushed into Guan Shanlin's office for the first time when he was working at Guan Shanlin. Guan Shanlin frowned and listened to Wu Yun's intermittent narration.Wu Yun burst into tears when telling her son's diagnosis, because she often couldn't speak because of choking.Guan Shanlin's face was extremely ugly, a layer of frightening leaden gray spread quickly on his resolute face.Guan Shanlin is fifty years old, fifty-year-old Guan Shanlin was told that one of his sons is an idiot, an idiot who can never think and live!A big tree that already knew how to cherish and remember the green leaves was cut down to the waist with a heavy axe!What could be a heavier blow than this? !Guan Shanlin sat there like a weathered stone. Because Wu Yun has Guan Shanlin by his side, he no longer needs to hide his weakness and support bad luck.Wu Yun choked and said, what should I do?what to do?What shall we do with this child? After a long silence, Guan Shanlin let out a long breath and said, what to do, what do you say?Things are already like this. Wu Yun said, in this state, I have to think of a way! Guan Shanlin said, what can I do?You can't destroy a person and make another one, right? ! Wu Yun said, find a good doctor, find a good hospital, maybe you can cure it. Guan Shanlin said, what are you supposed to be treating beriberi? Wu Yun said, it’s not to cure beriberi, and I can’t just look at the child like this Guan Shanlin said irritably, if he knew today, why bother. Wu Yun was taken aback, and said, what are you talking about?What today?What was it? Guan Shanlin said, if you know what he looks like, he shouldn't have been born in the first place! Wu Yun said, am I going to give birth?Am I going to give birth?If it wasn't you, would I have given birth to him?can you? ! Guan Shanlin couldn't stand this.He can't stand people blaming him.You can hit his head, hit his chest, hit his stomach, he's strong, you can go for his strength, try him, he'll love the challenge, but you shouldn't hit His private parts!Guan Shanlin said angrily, shut up!You long-haired woman!I didn't ask you to give me a fool! Wu Yun was trembling, her face was pale, she couldn't control herself anymore.For eight years, she never let the words come out.She swore never to say those words, they were shadows, and she would rather let them gnaw at her own heart forever.But he pushed her too hard, why did he push her like this?You are so unreasonable!She rushed in front of him and said, it was you who handed over the note I wrote to you. It was written to my husband, not to the organization. It was you who pushed me into that desperate situation. They fought me, made me stand there with the kids, and where are you?How about you?Why don't you take a little bit of responsibility?If it wasn't for your betrayal, the child wouldn't be what he is today!Absolutely not!she shouted at the top of her voice. Without thinking about it, he raised his hand and slapped her.He is a soldier, and his hands are extremely heavy.Five finger prints immediately appeared on her face.She rushed towards him, grabbing his collar with both hands.This annoyed him even more.He caught her like a chick, held her upside down, and twitched her buttocks with his huge slap like a palm fan, screaming viciously as he twitched, you woman!you woman!He has so much strength.Under his coercion, she had no room to resist, she could only uselessly tear his clothes and pinch his legs.He hit her a dozen times, and when he had had enough, he threw her on the ground like a rotten rag, slammed the door and walked out.She sat up, buried her head in her lap, and twitched despondently.Several times she was so out of breath.Her hair was disheveled, and her cheeks were messy with tears and sweat, and she looked extremely embarrassed.She just sat on the ground, thinking desperately over and over in her heart, he hit me!He hit me! There are irreparable shadows and cracks in Guan Shanlin and Wu Yun's married life. Life is still going on like that, both of them have their own jobs, the jobs are busy and meaningful, they give people fulfillment and pride.But after all, life is no longer as pure as the sky after the rain.If there is no Huiyang, maybe everything can be healed and made up, just like a pot of water that has been shaken, it will always stop, as long as you don't shake it.But there is Huiyang, this is a fact that cannot be corrected.That child, he was growing up day by day, but he was always hiding in his dark and cold corner, his dull eyes revealing his rejection and hostility towards everything.It was impossible for them not to see him.Even when they were happy, as soon as their eyes touched him or they thought of him, their laughter would stop abruptly, their happiness would disappear, and they would be overwhelmed by a kind of Feelings of shame, guilt, pain, and guilt surround you.They would look at each other silently and then walk away silently.This is a kind of suffocation and oppression anytime and anywhere.In fact, Huiyang in the corner never spoke, he just curled up there quietly all day long, he almost didn't even look at them.Once or twice, Guan Shanlin planned to send Huiyang to the nursery.Huiyang will definitely not be able to study anymore, it is meaningless to him and others, but he can't always stay in his corner, staying in the corner is also meaningless to him and others.But the idea met fierce opposition from Wu Yun.Wu Yun didn't want to send Huiyang anywhere, she would stay by her side if she wanted Huiyang.Maybe he doesn't need her arms, but he needs her guardianship.They'll bully him, she said.In this regard, she showed a rare extreme.Guan Shanlin couldn't take Huiyang away from her, and no one else could.Guan Shanlin knew that this time he couldn't be the master, Wu Yun would bite desperately like a hurt female leopard, and there would be no result in doing so.The problem doesn't stop there.Wu Yun has shown extreme indifference to the couple's sex life.They still make love, but she won't be passionate anymore.Guan Shanlin still has this desire.Dark Cloud never held against him.She lay there and let him toss about indifferently.Her eyes were wide and sad, as they were throughout.This made Guan Shanlin feel uncomfortable and even disgusted.This instead gave him a stronger desire for revenge.He wanted to conquer her, he meant to retake the high ground, and for this he threw all his forces into attacking his hateful opponent in turn.But all this was of no avail, for after he had occupied the high ground, sweating and panting, he found it deserted, and he had no joy except that his own casualties and ammunition were wasted.No one applauds the occupier, it is just a deserted highland, in fact he has no opponents. Frustration makes Guan Shanlin sometimes disheartened, sometimes violent and capricious. Guan Shanlin began to provoke trouble. The first person to hit him under the gun was his beloved boss Lu Yang.This heretic in high school doesn't care about the turmoil in his family at all. All he cares about is creating some thrilling events for the world. Only this can make him happy.For the first time, he led his young guards to the village near the school to collect grain and grass. They waited for the life teacher to fall asleep and sneaked out of the school's courtyard wall to attack the "enemy-occupied area" at night. The sweet potato field was dug up and down, and the loot was delivered to the door of the school porter who they privately regarded as the old father of one of their fallen companions.During the night attack, a nasty dog ​​barked and chased it out. The brave Young Guard boys smashed out the brains of this fascist Nazi lackey with stones.The second time Lu Yang planned a bigger battle. He took his young guards soldiers to the road to ambush the "enemy" personnel carrier. At least three base vehicles broke down.This time he went too far.Guan Shanlin pressed Aiko to the ground, pulled out the belt around his waist, and slapped Lu Yang's butt so hard that he broke a strong Japanese cowhide belt, so Lu Yang couldn't go to school lying on the bed for a week. The unlucky guy after Lu Yang is Jing Yang.The weak and sickly third child was always crying all day long, not at all like a soldier.Guan Shanlin stubbornly believed that it was all because the child ate too much milk cake and became like this. He enjoyed too much happiness and had to suffer.Guan Shanlin began to think about where to send him.Jingyang's aunt Zhu Ma is a 37-year-old Shandong woman who believes in Buddhism and eats vegetarian food. She has prejudices against Guan Shanlin's handling.She has taken Jingyang with her for several years, and she has already developed feelings for this child. This middle-aged woman, whose husband died, always secretly coaxes Jingyang to sleep with her own nipples when she sleeps at night.If the chief doesn't want to see this child so much, there's no point in her going on. She is willing to take Jingyang back to her hometown in Haicheng, Shandong.She has an elder brother who has three and a half rooms and two acres of sandy land. She will not let this child suffer.That's how it was decided.Wu Yun didn't express much emotion about the decision, for her the children were more trouble than joy, and they bound her hand and foot, making her more of a cow than a revolutionary.Maybe a cow can also be a revolutionary cow, but she can't, after all, she has a job that she is proud of!What's more, they brought her unspeakable pain.As long as the second child Huiyang is by her side, as long as the child who tore her apart is by her side, she can let everything else go her own way.She even said to Guan Shanlin in a mocking tone, if you take Jingyang away, why don't you take Lu Yang and Xiangyang away too?She thought that this would make it difficult for Guan Shanlin, but Guan Shanlin didn't like this. Guan Shanlin had never been sent to the army before. Half a year later, he sent another child to his hometown in Hubei. How worried was Wu Yun? Even the intestines couldn't stop him.This time it is not the eldest Lu Yang, but the one and a half year old Xiangyang.Wu Yun went to the station to see off his son and Guan Shanlin's nephew who came to pick him up.When the train drove away, the dark clouds were full of tears, and she suddenly had a feeling of fear.She had never been more aware of her husband's hardness than at this moment. In the summer of 1962, Wu Yun gave birth to their fifth child, a handsome daughter.She named her Xiangyue. The child was delivered naturally, and Wu Yun could no longer feel the pain of childbirth. She thought it was no different from a hen laying an egg, and Gudu was born immediately. According to Wu Yun's situation, she can leave the hospital and go home in a day, and take her daughter home at the same time.But Wu Yun didn't walk out of the operating room, she lay there without moving.After the midwifery nurse treated the wound, she asked someone to call the director of surgery. She told her colleague, give me a knife and remove my uterus.The chief of surgery was taken aback, he thought he had heard wrong.He said, what are you talking about?are you crazy?Wu Yun said very calmly, I am not crazy, I know what I want to do.I just don't want to be born again, I've had enough.No one dared to be the master, Guan Shanlin was notified to come to the hospital to sign.Guan Shanlin held the surgical sheet in a daze for a long time, no one dared to disturb him, not even to look at his face.The dean came to hear the news and gently closed the door of the surgical director's duty room. She concluded that she must not escape bad luck this time.But Guan Shanlin quickly walked out of the surgical chief's duty room, and he had already signed the three big characters "Guan Shanlin" on the operation sheet with his thick Parker gold pen.His face was as blue as a piece of iron that had been tempered by fire, his eyes were dull, and he looked a little lost.He froze for a while, then said hoarsely to the dean, let's do it. The operation was a success.This kind of organ removal operation is nothing to the base hospital.Even so, the hospital still sent the director of surgery and a vice president to personally preside over the surgery.The uterus from which the dark cloud has been removed is healthy, like a smooth and plump pear in the sun.If this pear continues to grow on the tree, it will definitely do more.The experienced surgical director asked an assistant to dispose of the pear immediately and not send it to the dissecting room.Organ entities are really valuable things for hospitals, and they can make many novices mature, if you want to work hard on anatomy seriously.But except for the womb of dark clouds.The director of surgery, who is familiar with Wu Yun, knows that this healthy uterus is actually only a superficial phenomenon. If you cut it open, you will find many small hyperplastic tumors on the rough and ugly inner wall of the uterus. They are covered with exhausted fibrous tissues. And grow up rapidly because of constant stimulation.In reality, no uterus was ever truly healthy that conceived and delivered five babies, four of whom were delivered after the womb had been cut open.The chief of surgery did not want anyone to feel hopeless or even disgusted with life after seeing the true appearance of this uterus. The dark cloud after the operation was pushed into a quiet ward.When she woke up from the drowsiness under the effects of anesthesia, she saw a familiar face for the first time.That was Guan Shanlin.He sat on the edge of her bed, and he sat so primly during the hours when she fell asleep, never moving away for a moment.Seeing her open her eyes, a hint of surprise appeared on his face.He said, are you awake?She lay looking at him with a holy pallor.He hooked his burly body.He smiled hard at her.He slid his hand under the sheet and found her hand.He held them tightly in his large hands.Her heart trembled, she felt how good it was!She bore him five children.She had given him five alive and kicking children.Not once did he sit outside the delivery room waiting for her to be wheeled out of the operating room.But he was here now, by her side.She had already given up her expectations.Come to think of it, five births, five openings of the gates of life and death, what else could she expect?But now when she no longer expected it, he miraculously appeared.How did he know she needed him?Had he known this all along, or had he finally figured it out?But now all this is no longer important, because he has returned to her after all.She felt her wounds burning with pain.The effect of the anesthetic had already been lost, and the 80mm incision and the suturing of the two blood vessels could not be regarded as a major operation.But she thinks it's nothing.She felt that this was the best repayment.She thinks she's lucky.She thought she would rather suffer another ten knives for this!She was excited by this thought, and a blush appeared on her pale face.She felt herself getting emotional again.He was watching her intently from a close distance, so close that she could feel his breath.There was concern and tenderness in his eyes.He said softly, how do you feel?Does your wound hurt?She shook her head.She is hurting, but that's okay.He said, you don't have to pity the guy who threatens you with a knife, if he hurts you, you just say it, and I will catch that poor guy and kick his ass hard.Otherwise, he would stab him in the stomach as before.She burst out laughing.He looked at her seriously and said, don't laugh, I can say it and do it, if he really makes you uncomfortable, I will let him know how bad it is!She smiled even more.Of course she knew that he would take it seriously, maybe he would really make a gash in the belly of the chief of surgery, and when she thought of this picture, she felt that he was cute and reckless.Laughter touched the wound, and she couldn't help but let out an ouch.He asked in panic, what's the matter?What happened to you?He held her hand tightly, as if it wasn't her who was in pain, but him.She was deeply moved by his appearance.He is so gentle.Did he think she was a fragile china doll?She turned her face away, towards the inner wall.On the snow-white wall, there is a beautiful seven-star ladybug moving lightly, vibrating its pair of delicate wings from time to time.She turned her face away and said to him, I'm sorry.what did he say?She said, I shouldn't have the operation without telling you, and I shouldn't make my own decisions.He said, who said you shouldn't?Of course you should, is there any doubt about that?He said, we already have five children, five young soldiers, we can't live like this forever, do you want to give birth to an army?He said, even if you want to, I can't do it anymore. I'm already fifty years old, and I'm not a good father.He paused, then said, I only want you, as long as you are here, as long as they don't take you off me, that's enough.She was very aggrieved and said, but, but it does not belong to me alone, even mine belongs to you, what right do I have to do this?Hearing this, he moved his body back half a foot and looked at her seriously.How brave she was on the operating table, as tenacious as a lonely soldier, but now, she is completely like a child.He lowered himself completely.He carefully hugged her into his arms and said softly, okay, okay, everything is over, nothing can hurt you anymore, I promise, there will never be any more.As he spoke, he stroked her hair gently with his hands.And she buried her whole face in his arms.Her body was trembling slightly.Let me die, she thought, let me die.How happy I am!I'd rather just die in his arms!They hugged like this and didn't speak for a long time.Then she fell asleep peacefully in his arms.墙上的那只美丽的七星瓢虫这时终于爬到了窗台边，这回它真的振翅飞了起来，溜过遮阳帘，一直飞到阳光灿烂的院子里去了。 八天之后，乌云拆线出院了。两个星期之后，她重新走进了办公室。她竟然比生孩子之前要胖了些。子宫摘除术后她没有奶，湘月由关山林做主交给了基地一位军工家属带养。那个身体健壮的乡下妇女生下孩子一年了仍然有充足的奶水，她十分乐意为一位老革命哺养女儿。再说，她的奶水挤也挤不完，她干嘛要浪费它们呢？关山林打算每个月给那个军工家里十块钱以做补贴，可那个乡下妇女却像受了侮辱似地把钱退了回来。乡下妇女说，俺不是奶妈子，俺不卖奶，俺是为革命哺养后代哩。 也就是乌云出院回家这一天，五十岁的关山林和三十二岁的乌云分床而睡了。 似乎没有谁有意这么做，也没有人提到分床的事。乌云刚出院，需要安静地休息，而关山林若在家，他是一刻也安静不下来的。关山林让勤务员把路阳和会阳的床搬进阿姨的房间，把儿童室腾了出来给乌云住。情况就是这样。那天他们分别走进自己的睡房，上床以后两人都没有像往常那样很快睡着。从1947年他们结婚以来，这还是头一回在一个家里分床而眠呢。他们总觉得少了什么，睡得不踏实。直到半夜乌云仍然在床上碾转。关节有些隐隐作痛，她起来吃了一片止痛药。她想他不知睡得怎么样。他的睡像一直不好，老是踢腿伸胳膊，后半夜了，他会不会把毛巾被蹬掉呢？她放心不下，就披了件衣服走到隔壁来看。他的屋里还亮着灯，原来他也没睡，正倚在床头看一本小册子。他笑着说他得抓紧时间把这本《关于加速进行党员、干部甄别工作的通知》看完，基地有好些在拔白旗、反右倾、整风、民主革命补课运动中处分错了的同志等着平反呢。她进去以后他就把文件放下了。她在一张椅子上坐下，他就坐在她熟悉的那张床上，他们很随意地聊了一会儿。基地的事，医院的事，更多的是孩子们。老大路阳暑期过后就进中学了，他最近倒是不太捣蛋，而是迷上苏联的军事文学书籍，他一本一本地读那些战争小说，差不多是在吃它们；老二会阳那天突然对乌云说，太阳掉进河里了。那是个美丽的黄昏。这事让乌云激动了一阵子。据说上海能治儿童痴呆症，等过一阵子有空了，就带会阳去试一试；山东海城的朱妈来信说，老三京阳越长越俊了，他很乖，听话得很，总是待在她身边，像个闺女。关山林笑骂道，朱妈倒是会带，把个儿子带成了闺女，以后是当男兵还是当女兵？湖北老家方面也有信来，说老四湘阳贼精，他知道怎么把好吃的弄到自己嘴里，他想要什么决不大吵大闹，他有自己的办法把它们弄到手，在这方面大人都不是他的对手；当然，家里需要一些补贴，否则没法养活那个贪婪的小东西。老五湘月长势良好，谁都夸这个丫头长得像妈妈，不过孩子没出月，也不能老占人家老百姓的便宜，三大纪律八项注意到哪儿都不能忘，得想办法补上这个情。他们就那么坐着聊着，一点困劲儿也没有，一直聊到鸡叫二遍。后来他们不聊了。他说，天不早了，你身上有彩，不方便，早点儿歇着吧。她说，那就歇吧。她就起身回到自己的房间，上床灭了灯，不一会儿，她就睡着了。 从此他们就保持了这种分床的格局，两个人谁也没有再提起过合到一起来睡的事，一直到他们老了，他们再也没有睡到一张床上。