Chapter 32 Part Two, Part 5 (5) - Drunk with a Thief

After returning from the women's team, my mood reached its peak.I remember that on the way back, I sat on a small bridge not far from "582" and shed tears that a man shouldn't shed.Is the times too harsh on us—especially for the female communist who was dragged into the special punishment hall by the Kuomintang, and now let her reflect on her relationship with counter-revolutionaries. Is this a tragedy for her alone, or a tragedy for history? ?I know her too well, she will not give in to pressure, will this lead to another new misfortune for her? Back at the prison, several members of the same group joked with me:

"It's been a long time since you've been married, how many times have you done it at night?" "Damn it, you are much better than us, you can go to Tianhe for a match!" Only the French missionary Gao Xuehai seemed to see that I was not in a good mood, and looked at me with sympathetic eyes.He said a few words to himself in French that no one could understand, expressing his own feelings-no one knew what he was talking about, and no one wanted to know-I called him "Master Gao" In addition to my respect for him in the group, several gangsters and criminals who lifted the ban actually regarded him as a shadowy figure.

I had to cry down my stomach.In the labor reform life, I can't reveal too much of my true feelings, because the captain here is no longer Dong Weisen's type, and their eyes are always on the thought prisoner.Once something goes wrong somewhere, it's a big deal.After October, when the year was approaching, the reform-through-labour team had to perform routine performances.One day, Instructor Cui took me to his office: "After you write about your group, immediately write about the good people and good deeds in action." "Look, who should I write about?" He said: "He ×× in your group (I have forgotten his name), because he is a habitual thief, he has the nickname "He Dana". Do you know this?"

"Know." "After he studied the old three selected by Mao, it can be said that there was an immediate change. Two days ago, on the way to finish work, he picked up 50 cents and handed it over to the squadron. You can just write about him! " All I could do was nod my head—even though I knew it wasn't the case, I agreed.The reason for this is that our team was doing the work of digging the frozen soil at that time, and I was not afraid of the tiredness of digging the frozen soil with an iron pick every day; what I was afraid of was the whirlwind of white hair all over the sky, which made people unable to open their eyes. .As mentioned above, here is a large salt-alkali flat. When the wind blows at level seven or eight, a piece of white and yellow sand blows on the face, which is bitter and salty.The permafrost was 30 to 40 centimeters thick, and the shattered hole in my hand was still cracked even though it was covered with adhesive tape.This is one of the reasons why staying in the cell and writing jingles and the like can save you from the wind and sand.Second, if you are asked to write, you have to write, otherwise it is a matter of political attitude-why not do it instead? !

After entering the labor reform team, I have done this kind of job many times.But every time I play this kind of role, it often reminds me of my dead literary dreams, and I am really ashamed.Everyone in the same group knew that "He Dana" just changed a little trick: he first left the fifty cents somewhere, then picked up the money from there in front of others, and then put The money was sent to the team office - the trick was as simple as that, and he immediately became an active member of the old three chapters.Write!I have to write the fake as real! Throughout the entire era, there has been a masked loyalty dance, a "second labor reform", what self-esteem is needed?

In the New Year, I wrote ""He Dana" Learned from Mao", which was performed in the form of Shandong Qinshu.Our whole team, let's fight together.For this reason, our whole group won an excellent award for three articles on collective learning.When I listened to the captain praise us in the audience, my heart was secretly laughing: what a "He Dana", a small trick, not only put gold powder on my face, but also put red faces on our whole group . ridiculous? sad? shameful? Cola? Since the era is full of absurdity, and there are many absurdities, it is not absurd.

But all of this is just passing smoke.When my conscience was awakened, my heart was desolate. It was precisely because I woke up while drunk that the team made an exception to allow drinking on New Year's Eve, so the drama "Drunk with a Thief" came into being.The dumplings that the team ate that day, during the meal, other members went to find their friends and set up a dragon team.I originally wanted to go to the third team to find Li Jianyuan and Ruan Zuquan, two of the same kind, to have a heart-to-heart talk - I have been in a bad mood since I visited Zhang Hu but failed. mood.But "He Dana" stopped me at the door. He said that he thanked me for writing his story, and he wanted to express his gratitude to me, and raised the wine bowl in his hand.

Living in the same group, I couldn't refuse, so I took out the wine bottle I was carrying in my waist, unscrewed the cap and said: "Drink my wine. Your wine is made of dried sweet potatoes. My wine is the authentic 'Erguotou' from Beijing." He drank the wine I poured into his bowl with a swish of his neck, and praised repeatedly: "It still smells like Beijing's wine." I wanted to go again, but he took my arm and wouldn't let me go.I had no choice but to sit down and eat dumplings with him while holding the wine bowl. "Come on, do it!" After I touched bowls with him frequently, my heart was hot at first, and then my hair became dizzy.When I was young, I was a bit of a drinker, but in the labor reform team, I was only allowed to drink during the holidays, so I quickly became half drunk.The state of drunkenness of people who have a wedding is different: some people get drunk and dance wildly, some people are silent - I belong to the latter, especially after entering the labor camp, because of the harsh living environment, I often indulge myself in the festival. After drinking, the words became less.As soon as I lay face up on the kang, melancholy filled my heart like a flood.

"He Dana" was carefree. After he drank enough, he spit out the truth in a wild and unrestrained manner: "Who the hell is sick, who picks up the money and pays it to the public? I don't think the money is enough! One month Just this dick money is not enough for me to roll the 'cannon skin'!" "How do you play tricks?" I asked half drunk and half awake. "Isn't that easy? When I started work, I walked behind the line and threw the fifty cents there; when I finished work, I walked in front of the line, in front of everyone, and then picked up the money and handed it to the bus. ——It's that simple. Think about it, in this place where rabbits don't shit, and there is no personal cigarettes, who can throw money there? Hee hee... This trick really works, I became a local benchmark!"

I laughed, laughed at his tricks, and made us guess right; but he deceived the labor reform cadres to the bottom of the sky.If things had stopped here, the following things might not have happened—but after he drank the wine bottle to the bottom, he blew his stealthy skills to me again: "I went home to visit relatives years ago, On the train coming back, I met an old lady, she was sitting next to me, holding her little grandson in her arms. I thought there was something valuable in her bag, so I took it back. But when I got back to the scene I opened it inside and saw that there were pieces of diapers and feeding bottles. There was also a piece of paper inside, which was a voter's card. I remembered the name of the old lady, her name was Cui Fenglian. "Eating the big wheel" (stealing on the train) met a poor man, and the geese were pecked at the eye, but at this time, it can be regarded as useful." He said, hiding in the The small bag in the kang hole was shaken off on the kang, and a few white diapers were pulled out from it, writhing on the ground like a Yangko dance.

Are you curious? Is it temptation? At that time, I couldn't tell exactly which nerve he touched in me. Anyway, I jumped off the kang like a carp.I picked up the voter card and looked at it. The stolen old man was 63 years old and happened to be the same age as my mother.My mother used to come to see me.I also took this train. In the heavy snow in winter, not only did I carry the things delivered to me and Zhang Hu on my shoulders, but I also held her grandson in my hand—the two little feet walked on the white snow everywhere. On the road, slip and go.It took a lot of hardships to send her old mother's heart to me and Zhang Hu.And "He Dana" is really devoid of conscience. He actually stole an old man on the "big wheel"—even pickpocketed the old man's milk bottle, pacifier and diaper to feed his grandson—and I drank with him. Drunk, am I still a two-legged person! At this time, "He Dana" had already changed the usage of those diapers.He changed from a twisted Yangko to a matchmaker in a reverse string.While twisting his waist, he sang: Zhang Sheng Don't worry, don't be afraid i walk slowly you crawl slowly "'He Dana'!" I suddenly shouted. He ignored me and continued playing his matchmaker complacently while half-drunk and half-awake. But I tried my best to extricate myself from the drunkenness, and scolded him: "It's not good for you to steal from anyone, why do you only steal from an old lady? Do you have a mother?" He stopped his writhing Peking Opera steps, and retorted: "Xiucai, did you wipe your mouth with a diaper when you were young? Why do you feel ashamed and fishy when you speak?" My blood boiled and I yelled at him, "Bastard!" "Let me tell you, people in our business don't have eyes. Who the hell knows that there are diapers in the bag, and the fact that a goose pecked at my eyes means that my hand was born." "Are you born to your mother!" "Why are you swearing? You brought your old lady into the labor camp!" "I have to learn how to howl in the wolf den. This is a big step forward for me." "Fuck your shit!" He first threw the diaper towards my face, and then pressed his whole body towards me like a tiger preying on it. I get out of the way. "He Dana" staggered and fell on the edge of the kang.I took advantage of the situation from behind him and kicked him hard. Without saying a word, he turned around and punched me in the face.I only felt a "buzz" in my head and a burning pain in my face.This punch enraged me, I picked up the washbasin I used to cook the dumplings just now and threw it at him.The washbasin was smashed empty, making a "boom" sound.While he was still in a daze, I swooped in and punched him in the face. Blood came from the corner of his mouth.The bright red drops of blood made my dizzy mind a little clearer; but at this moment, the fight was too much to stop.He wiped the blood from the corners of his mouth with his cuffs, opened two hands like vices, and pinched towards my neck. Although I dodged his hands, I didn't guard against his smooth gourd head, which was like iron. The monk-like head slammed into my shoulder.I took a few steps back and fell to the corner of the wall. He rushed forward without losing the opportunity, and pressed me under him.He cursed: "I'll teach you a good 'shit eater' today." He slapped me left and right. At first, I, who had never fought before, was a little overwhelmed by the sudden force, and thought that I started the fight, and it would be fine if he stopped here.But this rascal was not relentless, as if I had become a donkey under him, allowing him to exert power on me.This insulting gesture finally aroused my alcoholism again. Taking advantage of it, I stretched out a hand and pinched his throat, holding on fiercely; he was panting heavily. When I was angry, I pushed hard desperately and knocked him off my body to the ground.After all, I was a few years younger than him. After the two rolled on the ground a few times, I finally retaliated and rode him under me.He tried several times to reproduce the glory when he hit me just now, but he failed - at this moment, I have already beaten him black and blue. "Are you convinced?" "Don't accept!" "He Dana" with a sharp mouth and steel teeth, sprayed blood all over my body, "Just because of my famous Buddha (the thief's internal name), I can fall under the hands of you, a 'shit eater'! Pooh!" I hit it off again. He really didn't beg for mercy under me. At this time, the member of the same number came back, pulled us away, and said that he was going to report to the captain. The drunkenness of "He Dana" seemed to have evaporated in this fight. He hurriedly stopped the sleeve of the man with the same number, mocked himself and said, "Don't go, this is me and Xiucai drunk. Two I'm just kidding myself!" Obviously, he was afraid of expanding the situation, and the scandal of fifty cents and the car theft all came to light. ... This was the only time I got into a fight with someone during my reform-through-labour career—not with my own kind, but with a true thief.The moonlight was very bright that day, before He Dana had time to wipe his blood-stained face, he lay on the kang and turned off his breath.I haven't been able to fall asleep for a long time, wondering if I am returning to my ancestors and becoming an ape?After much deliberation, the fight I fought this time was for my troubled mother and my troubled young son—if "He Dana" hadn't stolen something from an old lady with a grandson, Instead, steal someone else, maybe all this will not happen.On this new year's day, I miss them so much-the old and the young are for my wife and me.But I have never regretted my fighting behavior. Extending from the philosophy of human existence, I carefully ruminated on my behavior that night. My degenerate behavior is somewhat similar to that in the novel of the American writer Jack London. A dog named Buck.It was a very docile family dog ​​at first, but in the process of being resold several times, it has experienced countless whippings by its owner and fighting among the same kind.The harsh living environment made it continuously strengthen itself and lose its original docileness after licking its wounds—in the end, Buck not only became the number one dog among the dogs, but also became the leader of the wolves on the wasteland . I am not a wolf.I am human.But in a harsh environment, people will lose their meekness like Buck. This is my progress? Or is it my degradation?